Friday, March 21, 2008

Shopping With Lisa

YB: Hey, look over there.
L: Yes, Victoria’s Secret. I saw it.
YB: Well....???
L: I know, I model & you buy..... I remember.
YB: So? Finally going to give in?
L: No. Trust me, you don’t want me to model that stuff for you.
YB: Oh please. Every guy around would love for you to model for them. You know that.
L: No I don’t. Besides, we’re friends.
YB: Yes, but not forever.
L: What does that mean?
YB: Seriously? We’ve talked about this.
L: About us being a couple? Yeah, I remember. Probably will happen someday.
YB: Is that bad? lol
L: Nope. But it might be weird after all this time.
YB: Oh well, you know the truth Lisa. Someday we’ll just give up trying to find “the right one for us” and accept that we are the only people who can put up with us for long periods of time.
L: Yes, we are like mirrors of each other. It’s weird.
YB: You know it’s true.
L: I know but it’s still weird.
YB: So we’ll never stop wasting our time then?
L: Probably not. It’s our way.
YB: Yes, you are right. But still I think when we are about 85.....
L: 85?
YB: Yeah, we’ll be 85 and everyone we know will be dead.....
L: Nice.....
YB: ......then we’ll finally get together and be a couple.
L: Why so old?
YB: Because we never do things the easy way.
L: True. Well you better start working out now.
YB: Working out?
L: Yes. Even when I’m 85 I will be wanting good sex. You need to be ready.....
YB: Oh boy.....
L: .....when I am ready. You know I’m demanding.
YB: So I better start stocking up on Viagra?
L: No, no drugs. You better be ready because you want me.
YB: Hmmm..... at 85 that could be hard.....
L: It better be.
YB: LOL, you know what I mean. Hard to be ready on demand.
L: Yes, but at 85 I’ll still be me, ready when I’m ready.
YB: Yeah, probably. Will you wear Victoria’s Secret when you are 85?
L: Why would you want me to wear Victoria’s Secret then?
YB: Because some day I will get you to model for me. Even if it doesn’t happen until age 85 I’ll feel like I accomplished something.
L: OK, I get that. At 85 I will model for you.
YB: Good, then I promise you I will be hot and ready for you when you do.
L: How can you promise that?
YB: After 55 years waiting for it? Please!
L: LOL Good answer. But I will want it more than just the few times I wear Victoria’s Secret.
YB: Yes, that’s where Viagra comes in.
L: Maybe I will have to allow it sometimes.
YB: Yeah? Why the sudden change of heart?
L: I want the full treatment. You better be as good as I think you should be.
YB: Hmmm...... what the heck does that mean?
L: You are no secret to me. Remember some of the girls you were with are my friends.
YB: .....aanndd....
L: ...aanndd we all talk. Believe me, that is the truth about women.
YB: So you know my secrets then?
L: All of them.
YB: Not all.
L: All.
YB: Oh....
L: So you better work out and have Viagra. I have expectations.
YB: Oh.... just what have you and ‘the girls’ been talking about?
L: Everything.
YB: Everything?
L: Everything.
YB: Oh.... hmmm.....
L: What?
YB: Maybe we need to go to Victoria’s Secret now.
L: I told you not today.
YB: But think of it as an investment in your future.
L: Huh?
YB: I need more practice to keep up with your expectations. Model for me so I am inspired to go ‘practice’.
L: Ha ha. No.....
YB: Why not?
L: We’re not old enough. Talk to me when we are 85.
YB: *sigh

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