Tuesday, May 31, 2005


I was wondering how anyone could think Michael Jackson is not guilty. Let's face it, when a 40 something year old man is sleeping in bed with young kids that he borrows from other people, he's already doing something wrong. That in itself is way out of line.

I heard that the KKK is having a rally in a town nearby. It's a small town and I can't imagine that type of thing there. The town guy says the park they have reserved for the event isn't restricted to these types of gatherings. To me, I wonder why the KKK is still allowed to exist let alone meet and disrupt little towns. Isn't almost eveything racist illegal? How come those dorks aren't? Freedom of speech is a whole lot different than freedom to instigate hate.

Paris Hilton's new commercial is getting a few people fired up. I saw it. The full length, over 1 minute version. It got me fired up too, but not for a burger. Personally, I liked it. I'll take what she's sellin'!

Isn't it funny that after you've been reading someone's blog for a long time you start to wonder what they are doing during the day? It's very possible to really like someone you've never met face to face. Not long ago I would have said that was crap. Live and learn.

Tuesday after a Monday holiday is really a waste. After a long weekend it still feels like a Monday, so there's not a lot of motivation happening. It's almost like having an extra day except that the sleeping in doesn't happen. Not that I'm complaining. Not at all. I could get used to the shorter weeks.

You know what’s a funny word? “Corpuscle”. That’s a funny sounding word. Say it slow; cooor-pussss-ellll. Then try to say it fast; corpuscle corpuscle corpuscle corpuscle corpuscle corpuscle. That’s kinda fun. I don’t know why I’m thinking about this right now. I just am amused by how some words sound really funny to me.

How about “Emote”. That’s a funny one (to me) too. It just has an amusing sound to it. Even before all the “E” stuff existed it was funny. Now though, it has even more potential. If you e-mote, you could be electronically sending feelings. Or an e-mote could be a virtual water hazard around a virtual castle. Cool word.

Another one I’ve always liked is “Conspiracy”. On the surface, it sounds like a bad thing, but break it down and you get ‘cons piracy’. How can something to do with Pirates be not fun? The one weird thing is that old Pirates were all considered cons anyway, so it becomes a very literal word when you think of it. I guess modern day Pirates might not be quite so romantic an idea.

Well, that's about enough of that tonight. I'm thinking myself silly. Maybe I should say "sillier"? Is that even a word?

Sometimes I Wonder

Isn't it funny how you can react to things that really shouldn't matter to you at all? I do sometimes. Recently I saw that Renée Zellweger married some country singer. Now I don't like her so much. It reminds me of when Lisa Hartman married a country singer. I didn't like her so much anymore after that and I was madly in love with her at the time. Silly, eh? (Let's not discuss Sandy's latest guy please.)

Another example is just why should I care if professional sports teams stadiums are making money by selling their names to the highest bidder? Like the Baltimore Ravens play in M&T Bank Stadium. Once it was called Ravens Stadium. To me, that's just stupid and it really irks me. Why? I dunno, it just does. It's cheesy.

This weekend on 2 seperate occasions I ran into people I used to work with and I had a wtf moment both times. I have been away from that job for nearly 4 years now and when I saw the guy on Saturday, I saw shocked. He got huge! Not in a good way either. He is now officially a chunk! It's shocking because this guy was a workout king. He always was paranoid about getting out of shape. All the girls liked him too. I guess he was good looking. We played ball together for several years and he was always looking studly. Now he is just a big lump of flab with a good sized double chin. It still freaks me out.

The second similar incident was on Monday when I ran into a woman I worked with for over 10 years. She was also one who was very careful to keep herself thin and attractive. Didn't work. She is super-sized now. At first, I didn't know what to say. I was stunned. After I walked away from talking with her, I started wondering how this had happened. She had gotten married just before I left the job, so maybe that old saying about getting ugly after marriage is true.

These things shouldn't be a big deal to me. For whatever reason, they are. It's not like they effect my life at all. I just spend time wondering about them anyway. Today I'm going to try and pay attention to how I react to stuff that I really shouldn't give a crap about. It will be interesting to see what else bugs me that really shouldn't.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Today Is My Un-Birthday

Most of us are having an un-birthday today. Happy Un-Birthday to all of you (us) who are. I hope it’s great.

Yesterday I was a pig. I had so many options for pigging out on my Birthday that I didn’t know how to choose. So I tried almost everything. 2 trips to Starbuck’s, one where I was sung to (that was cool!), a trip to KFC for lunch, homemade oatmeal cream cookie things, ice cream, Lime Pepsi and my Aunt and Uncle made me a kick-ass dinner last night.

It may seem strange to some what they made for dinner, but I requested most of it, so it was a treat for YB. They had meatloaf (yes, I love meatloaf), butter corn, mashed potatoes, Harvard beets, green beans (I don’t like those), fresh blueberry pie, blueberry cheesecake and lemon sponge cake with the most awesome lemon icing. My Uncle makes the potatoes and anyone who knows me knows I do not like potatoes. But he does something special with them and I really like them. He’s become semi-famous to everyone who knows him for his mashed potatoes. I guess if you want to leave behind a legacy, there are worse things.

So my Birthday was one long continuation of favorite food scarfing. I didn’t plan it that way, but sometimes you just gotta roll with it.

Otherwise it was a quiet day. I got home in time to see the Yankees finish up a beating of the sux. That was the best present I could ever hope for. I remember a time when having a birthday was a reason for going out and seeing how many brain cells I could kill in one night. I sometimes miss those celebrations, but I sure don’t miss the day (or 2) afterward. Funny how things change, isn’t it?

Today I get to go and pick up my car from the shop (again). I don’t think I posted about it last week but when we had it in for a minor glitch (the sunroof slider was jammed) someone at the dealership put an 8” scratch on the side. Not just a smudge or a simple easy to buff out mark. A deep, into the paint, down to the metal scratch. I asked if they thought I wouldn’t notice it or something. You could see the thing from 100 yards away. So it’s been fixed. Problem is, a stone hit the windshield of their loaner car and now I need to get that fixed. It’s got a big chip in it. Stupid stones! Always something with cars, it seems.

I won’t get bummed though. This weekend is still the Birthday weekend, so I intend to have fun. Thanks to everyone who sent me birthday wishes. The blogger world sure is a nice place to live. Youse guys rock! ;)

Friday, May 27, 2005

this is an audio post - click to play

Today's The Big Day!

Today I officially get one year older. Funny, sometimes I feel like I'm regressing. Huh. Anyway, all you blogger babes, click on the picture and give us a Birthday smootch. As for the guys, just a handshake will do. ;)

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Latest Poll Results

Well, it looks as though we all agree that Mel Mega is the greatest invention ever. Even better than sliced bread (who ever made up that saying anyway?) which didn't even get one vote. I think that's funny since that saying was the inspiration for this Poll. Even the Titanic got one vote and it was a piece of junk that sank on it's first voyage.

Congratulations Mel. I shoulda known you'd easily win this one. The second place item, Flushable Toilets, only got half the votes you got.

The new Poll is posted. (Right sidebar) Remember Cindy Lou's question about when she would be featured in a Poll? Uh huh.

Which really is the greatest invention ever?

Sliced Bread 0 votes
Dishwasher 2 votes
Garbage Disposal 2 votes
Internet 12 votes
Electric Dog Polisher 4 votes
Battery Powered Vibrator 10 votes
Telephone and/or Cell Phone 6 votes
Automobile 12 votes
Gasoline Powered Turtleneck Sweater 3 votes
Recorders ie: DVD/CD/VHS 5 votes
Nuclear Power 4 votes
Flushable Toilets 14 votes
Deodorant 9 votes
Pamprin (Or the equivalent) 6 votes
Beer 11 votes
Camera 7 votes
Candy 4 votes
Computers 10 votes
Mel Mega 28 votes
The Titanic 1 vote

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Don't Do It.....

...you really can't take me anywhere. That's the truth. I mean you caaan... if you don't get uptight about a grown person acting not quite so grown.

Tonight Nicci and I went out for dinner. She insisted, I really wasn't in the mood. We get inside and the boy at the front asks "Smoking or Non-smoking?" Well, Nicci is allergic to cigarette smoke, so we asked to be as far from the smoking section as possible. He smiles and says no problem, then proceeds to take us to a table right next to the smoking section. This was one of those places where a little wall just tall enough to reach above the tables separates the smoking and non-smoking section. (Who designs these places anyway?) He turns to us and starts to ask if this table is OK, but all he gets from me is *hack*hack*cough*cough*. He looked startled but he got the message when I started grabbing at my throat like I couldn't breathe and started doing my best Darth Vader impression.

We got a table out on the enclosed porch area. The farthest you can get from the smoking section.

That was fun.

Luckily for us there were several small kids seated right next to our table in the cool people who don't smoke area. When I say "lucky for us", I mean for me and the 2 kids nearby. They were a bit shy at first but when I did the 'rolling eyes' trick a few times, I got their attention quick. (For those of you who don't remember, I can roll my eyes in strange ways when I want to. I save it for special occasions.) Soon we had 2 adopted kids visiting us begging for me to amuse them and a couple annoyed parents apologizing for their kids rudeness at coming over to play. I did finally fess up to the eye trick and when their food came, the kids settled down OK. I was glad. Sometimes kids don't chill out quick enough for their parents and I feel a little responsible. ;)

Funny thing about where we were seated, we were next to a window and outside the window was the parking lot. Now, there wasn't any sidewalk right next to the window, but people would inexplicably get out of their cars and walk behind the bushes and go right up against the wall where we would almost be nose to nose with them when they went by. I was weirded out by their strange routs, mostly because there were a lot of them doing that and the perfectly good sidewalk to the front door was going to waste. Naturally, I had to correct this situaton for others who would be subjected to it once we were gone. So I decided that every time someone came by that close and looked in to see what I was having for dinner, I would show them.

I scored big almost immediately. A couple got out of their car and the woman, being the sensible person she was, used the sidewalk. The man walked around the bushes, against the wall and when he got to where we were, he looked in at me. I knew he wanted to see what I was having for dinner, so I showed him. I opened my mouth real wide to show him the big chunk of well chewed steak I had been working on, just for this occasion. The look on his face was priceless. He stopped walking for a second and did a double take. He then hurried to his woman and turned to point at me. (I just pretended that nothing was happening.)

Nicci gave me a kick under the table, but she was also laughing pretty hard. Before the meal was done, I managed to allow 2 other people to see what my partially digested steak looked like just before being swallowed. I know 2 things for sure; First, those 3 people will think twice before taking the 'stupid people route' at that restaurant again and second, I'll bet they didn't have steak.

Nothing much else happened tonight. I did have a little fun even though I didn't want to go out. Oh well, another chapter in the life of "you can't take YB anywhere". At least not safely. ;)

Today's Helpful Tip

From your helpful friend, Helpie Helperson.

Tip: Never use the electronic pencil sharpener for manicures. It may trim a bit too much from the tips of your fingers and then you wouldn't be able to type on your blog.

Remember, Helpie says any help is good help. :)

El Sid Makes An Appearance

El Sid made a cameo appearance and left this quiz for us. I had to post it, for old times sake anyway. Plus, I kinda like quizzes.

Funny thing is, my favorite color is really orange and this description does fit. Whadda ya know 'bout that?

Orange info
Your Heart is Orange

What Color is Your Heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Saved By Blogger Buds

I got up this morning feeling grumpy and irritable. I got to work and still felt the same way. I was really afraid for those who had to deal with me today because anyone who knows my moods can tell you that I can be quite unpleasant when I want to be. Today I wanted to be.

Then I started to catch up with my blog friends and after about 30 minutes (of company time) I realized that I was smiling and laughing and felt much better. Now I feel like my old self again.

Thanks blogger buds. You've totally changed my mood this morning.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

American Idol

I managed to watch American Idol all the way through. Personally I think Carrie whipped Bo's butt, even though I also thought Bo was awesome.

I hope she wins. (And I don't even like country music.)

Update: (1.5 hours later) It took a while but I actually made it through to vote. Now I'm an official AI geek.


I was tagged by Egghe to do this.

1) Total of film's I own on DVD/video: Somewhere near to 300 I think.

2) The last film I bought: I got Sky Captain And The World of Tomorrow and Blade 3 at the same time.

3) The last film I watched: Sky Captain And The World of Tomorrow.

4) Five film's that mean alot to me: This is hard. I probably could make a very long list.

A) While You Were Sleeping - This was the movie that helped me realize I was smitten with Sandy.

B) It's a Wonderful Life - Can't have Christmas without it.

C) The Jerk - Makes me laugh hard every time I see it.

D) Austin Powers, International Man Of Mystery (The first one) - Pure genius. The 2nd and 3rd ones kind of suck, but this one is awesome.

E) Anne of Green Gables - Don't laugh. If you haven't seen it, give it a watch. It's awesome and Anne Megan Follows) will make you love her.

5) Tag five people people and have them put this in their journal: I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to do this, I'd love to see it. I suck at the tagging back stuff.

That's it for this exercise. I hope someone else does this one (Grace) I love to see recommendations from others for movies and music I may never hear about normally.


Lately I've been slowly working on cleaning out all these storage bins I have in my basement storage area. Recently I came across one that had old life stuff in it. Stuff like my cap & gown from graduation, souveniers from my teenage years and at the bottom was a pile of pictures that I had forgotten about. They range from 1981 through somewhere into the very early 1990's. I decided that these things were kinda cool to look through and that they shouldn't be buried like that.

So now for 2 days I've been going through them and organizing them into some cheap photo albums. I keep getting sidetracked. So many memories lost have now been found. People and places I wouldn't have remembered without the photo assist. Amazing how different I look now compared to then. The cool thing is, when I look at the pics, I remember what the feeling of being that guy was like too, so it amazes me how different a person I am now also, not just how different I look.

There are pics of my graduation and my first wedding. A really small gathering for sure, maybe 10 people. It's fun to see my first wife after all this time. She was pretty cool. Pretty too. Believe it or not, her name was Bobbie. :) Sad that that relationship was doomed before it even began. We just didn't know any better. There are many, many pics from my years at the Humane Society. Geez, what a slut I tried to be. Pics of friends I made in the 80's who are still close friends. (Egghe, you really looked that young?) I even found a pic of my old Pinto and some of my 1963 Chevy Impala SS. Sweet!

The pics of all the pets I had are ridiculous! Work at the Humane Society for 6 years and see how many you accumulate. Lots of them, trust me.

Some of the most touching are of people I genuinely loved. I had a very serious relationship with someone who had a child. He was born when I was getting to know her and as we became closer, he and I became buds. From the womb until he was about 5-6, we shared time together. I screwed up that relationship. Nothing much to do with her. I was pretty much totally responsible. I hear the boy is now in college and is a biker type. I'm sure he's pretty cool. The pics remind me of some awesome fun times we shared though. I still miss him sometimes. Her too. She was a good friend before anything else.

There are also reminders of friends who are gone. One in particular that died a few years ago. We had a Thanksgiving/Christmas party one year where everyone showed up. Those photos are so funny. Priceless really since they are of a time and an innocence that is long lost. Back then the world revolved around all of us getting together, some boozing, some other partying, but mostly because we wanted to hang together. Now that friend is gone, some of the couples are no longer couples and some have moved far away. The feelings are the same though. When I look at those pictures, I still feel what it was like to be there.

Sometimes it's fun to take a trip down memory lane. All these things I've lived have combined to make me what I am today. There are some regrets along the way. We all have those. But I can't complain. I'm OK right now and those experiences have brought me here.

I sure am glad I kept all those old photos. I love looking through them again. I wrote a song back then that had this as its last line: ".....after all, we are all just products of our past". Ain't that the truth?

Monday, May 23, 2005


This is a Monday. Nothing much more I can say about it. It's a Monday.

If you've tuned in for something special, check back later, after I've found a way to shake off the blah feeling.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Horrible Sight For A Sober Man

Nicci and I were sitting in the front room this morning talking and I saw something out of the corner of my eye. When I turned to look out the window to see what it was, I saw one of our neighbors doing something in her front garden.

Normally this isn't a blog-worthy event, but this woman was bending over with her butt aimed right at our window. Now, let's just say she's not a small woman. Truthfully, she has quite the big butt and she was wearing tiny short shorts. To make matters worse, she was bending down without bending her knees so the big butt was straight up into the air and the short shorts were riding way high, showing all the cottage cheese too. Gross. A horrible sight for a sober man indeed.

So naturally I had to share. I told Nicci to look outside quick because there was something very interesting out there. After she got a gander, I got a smack in the head. Didn't matter, it was fun.

Quite the fun start to my morning anyway. :)

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Jack Handy

Here's a picture of my newly installed lights.

I put these in between being the laundry bitch and doing some other odd jobs. (Also during the Yankee game where they were busy losing. Blah!) I like them even though I'm not a 'lights on' kinda guy. Behind that wall is the water heater and the furnace. There was no room for moving back there. Also, above the one on the left there really was no room. It sucked getting that one in. I had to pre-wire it with about 3' too much wire, put it up into place while trying to direct the excess to the right, hoping it would reach far enough that I could squirm up there and grab it. It worked.

Sometimes I like being a handyman. Not often, but sometimes. Beats the heck outta being the un-handyman and paying someone.

Today, I'm Jack Handy. ;)

“It’s Another Pleasant Valley Sunday”

That’s how I feel today even though it’s Saturday. Remember that song? How everything in life seems like it’s just routine and the same all the time? That’s how I see life most times. Routine.

I look down our street in the morning and I see the neighbors adhering to their routines too. Inside all those houses that “all look the same” I know they are enduring their routines and going through the motions just like me.

I think that’s how places like Starbuck’s get so successful. People like their coffee about the same time every day and they like it mostly the same way. I do. I’ll get something different in the afternoon visit (if there is one) but mostly the morning has to stay the same. I also think that’s how computer games and video games have become so popular. They help break routine and take your imagination away from the every day reality of life.

Funny thing about routines, we all like them. Even though sometimes we say we don’t, it’s what we all need to get through the day. When our routine is interrupted, then things get screwed up, annoying, irritating.

The best times are when your routine is changed and it’s either for something planned or something spontaneous that turns out to be fun, like an unplanned trip to the beach, just for the heck of it. I used to do those a lot. A whole lot actually. I miss that.

But today is just another day. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing special happening. I had my Grande Latte and now I’m the laundry bitch. I will be installing some really cool lights in my basement fortress of solitude today. That will be out of the ordinary, so maybe a little fun is on the schedule.

I wonder what’s it’s like to live “A life less ordinary?”

Friday, May 20, 2005

Tickling Is Scary

Peachy just told me that tickling is scary. She said she is afraid of it. Her point is that people laugh but it doesn't make them happy.

Laughing from tickling isn't a happy thing? Is this how everyone feels about it? I don't mind it. I've never heard of this opinion before. How do the blogger buds feel about tickling and/or being tickled?

This Morning I'm Wondering:

If people mind being referred to as a 'Son of a Bitch' when they really are?

If some people who find out they don't really like their kids just lie and tell them they are adopted?

Why does anyone become a politician? Do they wake up one day and decide they like kissing ass and never telling the truth and making promises they never intend to keep?

Was Disco ever really cool?

Who was that masked man? And was it really a man?

What is the proper way to tell the sexy babe at the grocery store that she is quite appealing and that you'd love to paint her portrait? (Not in the veggie aisle, I'm sure.)

Where did anyone get the idea that soccer was fun?

When will Linda Ronstadt be loved?

Why didn't the cereal people ever let the Rabbit have some Trix?

How do I ever get through a day with all the squirrley thoughts in my head?

Thursday, May 19, 2005

It's Gibberish O'clock

I got a spam e-mail with this in it:

"In the middle of the night, I was walking by the sea, and baby baluga jumped out from amongst the bushes. SO one day Mr. Gregor exclaimed "Why do skater normals have no preppy either?!?!?!" So I wanted to watched. or Maybe if I wanted to watch it then I had a dream that countless historian lost their credit but i dont Remember what it was. I don't like you but can I have your autograph. No one wants your autograph so I started to cry in the pizza shop. Where did Ryan go? He must have moved to Ohio."

I usually don't read these things but this one is kinda cool. Something about it is freaky. Maybe the thought that someone actually moved to Ohio voluntarily?

This Has Got To Be A Magical Day

This morning I saw not one, but two Chevy Chevettes on the road! I know! You can sit back down now. Breathe. They were actually on the road and running! Anyone remember these freaks of the car industry? Anyone ever drive one?

I had a girlfriend who had one, bought it brand new, and when I drove it I just laughed so hard. First, it let me know what a sardine must feel like in that can they are squashed into. Second, the thing just wouldn't go uphill. Going up a hill was the funniest part of those cars. They had no oomph at all. I believe the Fred Flintstone car would have been better going uphill. What a strange thing for a manufacturer to market.

Makes me thing of all the other winners from the past. Like the Vega, another GM jem. The Pinto, the Yugo, the K Car, the Fuego, the Le Car, the Fiesta. There have been quite a few eyebrow raisers.

I had a Pinto. It was one of the ones that 'could' explode if it was hit in the rear. I hated that car. It wouldn't go uphill either, but that wasn't as big a problem as the Chevette since it only ran every other day. Literally. Something was always wrong with it. I used to get so mad at that piece of junk that I'd kick it and beat it with a wrench. I even kicked a hole in the side of it once. That did make me feel better.

I sold it to a guy I worked with. He knew all the troubles I had with it but still wanted it. I never figured out why. One day he came to work late and I noticed a big dent in the top. Apparently it didn't want to start again (for no apparent reason) and he got so frustrated that he hit the top with a tire iron. It was a big dent too.

So I've decided this must be a magical day since the only way I can see that those Chevettes could be running still has to be magic. Plus, two in one morning? Something special is happening today. Mark my words!!!

BTW, everyone go visit Peachy and wish her a happy birthday. Today's the big day! See, I told you it was already a special day. :)

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Honesty Sometimes Isn't The Best Policy

I was talking to this guy the other day that I really don't like very much. I don't really dislike him either, I just would prefer not to ever run into him again. I felt this way even before this meeting. We were talking casually for a few minutes (yes, I can be nice even when I don't want to) when he mentioned that he 'was told' that I really didn't like him much. Great, someone has a big mouth somewhere.

Well, rather than BS through the situation, I just said the truth, that I didn't dislike him, I just thought our personalities clashed a bit.

Well, you could have thought that I had called him a big jerk or something. He went off and started telling me how many more people hated me more than him and how I'm a big jerk etc....

I was stunned a bit. I didn't say anything insulting to the dork plus I really didn't totally dislike him. (Notice the 'didn't?') Then I made matters worse. He said something about how the women would always prefer him over me (wtf?) and how he didn't understand how I kept a woman. I remember wondering "Where did that come from?" Apparently this was a major issue for him? So of course.... I laughed. Typical me, when faced with something absurd, just laugh.

You would have thought I had insulted his Mother and the Pope and his ugly assed uni-brow too. Geez! Naturally when he started getting more irritated, I found it even funnier. That just doesn't help things at all. He finally walked away muttering about how much of an asshole I was (which can be true). I still think it was a pretty funny scene. I'm just not clear as to what had brought on this tirade of his. I always suspected he was a mental midget anyway. This just proved it to me.

The moral of the story: It's not always a good idea to be honest. Sometimes you should just let sleeping dogs lie. (Unless of course, you can laugh at the morons of the world and not feel offended, like me.)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Shiny Head

We work with this guy that has a really shiny head. I think he shaves it because there is never a shadow of a hair on it. He has to shave it every day to keep it that hairless. Plus, he must polish it. Do head shavers polish their heads? For real?

I get this image of him standing there in the morning after shaving, a big ol pair of boxers on, a towel over his head, one end in each hand, pulling it back and forth over his head to polish it. The squeaking sounds rattling the windows and fine china.

I see why some people make chrome dome jokes and jokes about baldies blinding them when the sun hits their heads. This guy could zap you good if he stood just the right way and aimed the reflected sunlight at you.

Now, I'm not making fun of the guy. He obviously wants to be a glistening crystal ball head and that's OK. Me, being a person who is losing hair due to Mother Nature's cruel sense of humor, I am amazed by the chromus domus idea. Personally, I'd sooner see a guy leave some 5:00 shadow than to be a walking reflecto-ray.

At least he's not doing the old comb-over, pretending that nothing is happening. I guess that is worse. :)

Question Of The Day

Is it OK to be annoyed when someone you really don't like (or respect) is laughing and sounds happy?

Monday, May 16, 2005

Latest Poll Results

I'm not sure what to make of these Polls. Maybe they told us nothing with the exception of most babies are born to the 25-30 year olds of the world. Oh well. It was an interesting idea. Interesting that the second Poll was nearly 50/50.

The new Poll is posted. A bit less serious this time. Remember, you can choose more than one and you can vote daily.

What age was your Mother when you were born?

Selection Votes
15-16 0% 0
17-18 14% 5
19-20 19% 7
21-22 11% 4
23-24 8% 3
25-30 39% 14
31-35 6% 2
36-40 3% 1
40+ 0% 0

36 votes total

Do you think your parent(s) age/maturity has influenced your attitude (good or bad) toward having children?

Selection Votes
Yes 48% 15
No 52% 16

31 votes total

The Natural?

I saw a license plate this morning from Arkansas that had their state motto on it. It said 'The Natural State'. That's kinda funny to me. I started wondering just which states were not natural? How come that one is natural and no others are? Seems to me that they all have been naturally formed, doesn't it?

Maybe they mean natural, as in au natural? I don't think I want to visit a place where everyone is au natural. I'm sure there are lots of people I wouldn't mind being around in that state (pun unintentional) but for the most part, that's not a good idea.

Now I'm wondering about what the other states mottos are. I know Pennsylvania is called "The Keystone State". I'm from there, so I should remember that one. There's one for ya. How hard was that one to think up?

Some do make sense though. Here are a few:

Florida - Sunshine State Makes sense.
Georgia - Peach State Eat a Peach
Hawaii - Aloha State Hello or goodbye?
Kentucky - Bluegrass State Grass cool, music, not so cool
Michigan - Wolverine State, Great Lakes State Obvious
Minnesota - North Star State, Land of 10,000 Lakes Obvious again
Nebraska - Cornhusker State Corn is good
Nevada - The Silver State, Sage State, Sagebrush State Yep
Washington - The Evergreen State Green forever
West Virginia - Mountain State Beware of mountain people
Wisconsin - Badger State They won't leave you alone

Some of them don't make sense to me at all:

Alabama - Yellowhammer State Makes me think of Thor
Connecticut - Constitution State, Nutmeg State, Provisions State, Land of Steady Habits I guess they couldn't pick just one? What's up with the 'steady habits' thing?
Idaho - Gem State, Gem of the Mountains I thought they were the potato state?
Indiana - Hoosier State I still don't know what a Hoosier is
Iowa - Hawkeye State Wasn't Hawkeye from Maine?
North Carolina - Old North State, Tar Heel State When were they ever north? And wouldn't tar on your heel hurt a bit?
North Dakota - Peace Garden State, Flickertail State, Roughrider State Roughrider? Isn't that a condom?
Oklahoma - Sooner State Sooner than what? Later, I guess.
Oregon - Beaver State I want to make a beaver joke, but.....
South Dakota - Mount Rushmore State,Under God the People Rule, Coyote State I get most of this but that middle part seems to be a contradiction.
Tennessee - Volunteer State, Big Bend State, Hog & Hominy State, the Mother of Southwestern Statesmen Again with the indecision! Hog and Hominy?

Then there's the king of them all:

Missouri - Show Me State They either don't trust you very much or they are really, really friendly! I should go and find out.

Well, I was going to stop here but I didn't want to offend anyone. Here's the rest of them:

Alaska - The Last Frontier, Land of the Midnight Sun
Arizona - The Grand Canyon State, Copper State
California - Golden State
Colorado - Centennial State, Colorful Colorado
Delaware - First State, Diamond State, Blue Hen State, Small Wonder
Illinois - Prairie State
Kansas - Sunflower State
Louisiana - Pelican State
Maine - Pine Tree State
Maryland - Old Line State
Massachusetts - Bay State, Old Colony State
Mississippi - Magnolia State
Montana - Treasure State
New Hampshire - Granite State
New Jersey - Garden State
New Mexico - Land of Enchantment
New York - Empire State
Ohio - Buckeye State
Rhode Island - The Ocean State, Plantation State
South Carolina - Palmetto State
Texas Lone - Star State
Utah - The Beehive State
Vermont - Green Mountain State
Virginia - Old Dominion State, Mother State
Wyoming - Equality State

You can draw your own conclusions from the list. I wonder how often these things are up for review? I also wonder if countries around the world do this kind of thing? Curiouser and curiouser.....

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Garden Pics

Front yard with new lights.

Part of the back yard with arbor.

Nicci's arbor.

Different view of the front.

I just thought this was neat.


I've had enough. I've been working around the house 4 of the last 5 days and I'm done. No more for me. It isn't something I find all that rewarding. Some people do, but not me. The only reward (besides being done) is the newest treat that Starbuck's has; a mint mocha chip frappucino. Damn, that thing is good!

Funny thing about odd jobs, the one that seems like it should be the easiest usually isn't. Today I thought I had easy stuff I wanted to accomplish. The one that got me was putting a simple brass door knocker with peep hole on the front door. Simple. Drill 3 holes, making sure they are level, screw the thing to the door. Sounds easy, right? Nope. First, it's a metal door. Second, the screws included were way too long. Third, the peep hole thing didn't have a large enough back to cover the hole drilled for it. Sheesh! They went to a lot of trouble to make a template for drilling the perfect size and pattern but didn't include enough stuff to make the finishing look good. So, after some inventive thinking and a trip to Home Depot, the simple job got done after 4 hours. It did come out nice though. Gotta watch out for the so-called simple jobs.

I'm tired from all this stuff. Can you tell I'm not the 'home improvement' type? I do like some stuff, but rarely will I volunteer for homey fixer-upper jobs.

Anyway, this past week has left me way behind with blogland. It's going to take me a while to get totally caught up. Someone let me know if I've missed anything really important. Otherwise, I'll be seeing you for myself eventually.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Today's Helpful Tip

From your helpful friend, Helpie Helperson.

Tip: When opening a beer bottle with your teeth make sure not to bite the glass hard enough to chip it into your mouth. Swallowing glass is bad for your system.

Remember, Helpie says any help is good help. :)

Welcome Home

That's how I feel right now. I've basically had a 2 day hiatus from the blogger world and it will take a long time to catch up. I've been off work for some home stuff and ended up working much harder than I ever do at work. Funny how that happens. I've heard people before saying how when you own a house there is always something that needs to be done. That seems to be true. And I only have a townhouse. It must suck having a big house. It's a bad thing for me too since I hate working around the home. Well, mostly I hate it. I like building stuff, but gardening and painting and all that blows.

So yesterday I replaced all the wooden boxes aroung the gardens. I say gardens because the way our place is layed out, Nicci has basically made 5 gardens out of the available space. (I'll have to post some pics. It really is nice.) I started at 7:30 A.M. and only took a break @ 2:00 to take a Starbuck's to Nicci at work. BTW, thanks again Meritt for the caramel macchaito recommendation. I think I love those. Then I came back and finished the garden stuff and put some cool lights along our front walk. They look sweet. Finally at about 6:30 I decided that food was becoming a necessity.

That's how I get when I'm engrossed in something. Especially if I set a goal for myself at the beginning. When I do an art project, it's worse. I'm pretty much unreachable and if my concentration is actually broken, it's really hard to become focused again. It was worth it though. Now, if I can just get through the damn painting of the bay windows this weekend without my head exploding, I'm home free for the year.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Question Of The Day

Today will be another really busy day for me. I won't be able to check in much at all. It's going to take me so long to catch up with everyone when I finally get the chance. (Probably tonight.)

Here's a haiku about this day (inspired by Cindy's butterfly haiku):

Everyone's heading to work
But not me
I feel bad for them

So just for fun, I leave you with this very important Question Of The Day. The answers may be earth shattering. :)


If blue is the color when you're bummed and red is the color when you're pissed, what is the color when you are just mildly interested?

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Well, I Think It's Funny

Do you ever listen to yourself? I mean really listen to what you say and how you say it. Not just verbally, but how your reactions effect those around you. I've been forced to see myself in a different light recently.

I've been told that I laugh easily. Lately, I've been told that a lot. It's true too. I laugh at almost anything. I like to laugh. With someone, about someone at someone or something. No matter what, I find humor in almost every situation.

That sounds good, but it's not necessarily always good. Sometimes it's downright rotten, because I will laugh at something I think is stupid without thinking that someone else may have a totally different take on it. I just react. A lot. Mostly without any thought at all. No cruel intent when it happens. It just happens.

One thing I've really been noticing a lot lately is that my first answer to almost any question is a joke. Usually something quick and stupid. Doesn't matter who it is or what the situation is, at least 99% of the time I'll make some quip without thinking. After being asked a second time, I may answer sensibly.

A lot of the time, I don't even know what I'm saying either. It's like my mouth has this amazing ability to speak and still be disconnected from my brain. I've had a few instances recently where someone has said something to me and I've replied with some silly answer and then been embarassed shortly after. Not just because of what my stupid answer was, more because I spoke and couldn't even repeat what I'd said. I had no idea what it was. It just popped out. Maybe I just don't have it in me to take others very seriously? Could be. That's a bit rude, but it is me.

But the truth is everything is better with a little humor added. I make no apologies for joking around all the time. It's better than being too serious. I don't like being serious at all. It's too, well, serious. And that is boring, most of the time. To me. I can be serious, a good listener and even have been known to be quite sympathetic and helpful in times of stress. I prefer not to be, but I am capable.

I guess this personality trait is just another chapter in the book of "YB Doesn't Make A Good Grown-Up". Of course, the "Rules Of Being A Grown-Up" were written by some pretty serious minded individuals that most likely needed a good chuckle. I really believe that people like me were put here to balance out the other types who can't find anything to laugh about. Those are the ones who need people like me the most. Either to help them chuckle a bit or just so they have another reason to grumble. Legitimate reason to grumble are hard to come by. I'm glad to be able to fill that need for them. Even if they are poop heads. :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Stuff On My Mind

I have been really busy at work again and my blog time is limited. (How annoying!) So I thought I'd write a few things that are on my mind this past 2 days.

First, has anybody noticed lately that when Basketball players are interviewed after a game, they talk about "taking care of the ball"? I hear them interviewed on the radio and that's what a lot of them say, they need to "take care of the ball".

Isn't that a sweet idea? Those big strong men taking care of that innocent little ball. I bet it feels loved and protected. Is this a standard term for Basketball? I don't follow the sport nor even like it, but I think for any sport, that's a funny term.

I found myself agreeing with Donald Trump again this morning. He was talking about this study that was done proving that men respond better to beautiful women than to older or less attractive women. They used a group of beautiful women with one group of men and a group of older, retired women with another. The ones who were checking out the advertising using hot babes were very enthusiastic and even lied about their incomes trying to impress the babes. The second group was a bit less enthusiastic. His point was (and I agree), why did they need to waste time and money to prove the obvious? Anyone should already know the results of this thing even before it is done. Maybe the 'scientists' just wanted to check out the hot babes? I really can't think of a better reason than that to waste the effort on something so glaringly obvious. Duh!

I find it sad that GM and Ford have now been downgraded to the 'junk bonds' catagory. I believe it's just another step toward American auto manufacturers folding. The demands put on them by the greedy unions have pushed them toward not being able to effectively keep the business running. Soon we'll all be driving foreign cars because there isn't any choice. That or all manufacturing will be moved out of the country and even 'American' cars will be imported after being built elsewhere. We reap what we sow.

The Yankees won again last night. (Everyone, give yourself a high five.) The first time this season they've managed to win 3 in a row. I hope it continues.

I'm dreading the coming weekend. I have to scrape and paint our bay windows and the woodwork around the front door. I hate painting. Capital H and capital ATE! I keep thinking that maybe it will rain and I'll get a reprieve, but I really hope against that. I'd sooner just get it done. Have I mentioned how much I hate painting?

The story that Meritt posted about over the weekend is now a really big issue in Baltimore. The one where a Principal hired a convicted murderer and he ended up raping a student and molesting a few others. The whole state is in an uproar now. You can bet that the over-reactive government types will have their fingers into everything now, even though it was a private school. The principal and founder of the school said she just wanted to give the guy a second chance. She's african american and so is the rapist/murderer. Now the race card is being brought out, in a bit of a reverse from the usual way. She also said that his crime didn't have anything to do with children. I wonder what one has to do at this school to discredit themselves from working with kids? If murder doesn't count, what does?

I guess that's enough thinking for a while. Go ask Peachy who she had lunch with (again) today. :)


I've tried what I know to try but my sidebar likes it where it is. I even eliminated all picture posts. Didn't work. It looks like the sidebar is now wider than before. I don't know how that could have happened.

I think I broke it. Anyone got any ideas? I have asked blogger support but my experience with them has been like having a bra with a bad strap or a hand-me down jock from John Holmes; kinda loose support.


Monday, May 09, 2005

Maybe I Should Offer A Reward?

Has anyone seen my sidebar? It went for a hike this afternoon and hasn't returned yet. I asked the nice neighbors over at blogger support, but I guess they haven't seen it either.

If anyone sees my little sidebar, could you point it in the right direction home? I'd really like to see it come back soon.



You have to say that with Ferris Bueller's teachers voice: Peachy?...Peachy?...Peachy?...

In case you are wondering wtf is wrong with me, go over to Peachy's place and ask her where she went for lunch. Remember her post a few weeks back about the co-worker that seemed to have a crush on her? Well, it was obvious that he did (or at least really seemed like it). Anyway, she's been spending a lot of time with him lately, including some weekend time and lunches in the park. I'm starting to wonder.....

We apparently no longer have CG and CGRL to have fun with so this could be the next best thing. Although I know she wouldn't allow anything uhmmm, unsavory to occur, I still wonder a bit.....

I also wonder how big a smack in the head she'll give me when she reads this... :)

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Hectic Weekend

It's been quite a hectic weekend here. I don't know about anyone else but I'm a little worn out.

Yesterday I spent the day with all my best buds. A friend had come to visit from Tennessee. He moved there several years ago and when he gets back to visit, it can be an event. We played golf (well, I don't know that what I was doing was golf anyway) and went back to town where we hung out, played some poker, scarfed pizza and reminisced. It was great. The poker part was OK. Not that I lost, which I did, but that it was my first time playing Texas Hold-em. (Is that how it's spelled?) Maybe I missed something but I thought it was very boring. Much more so than playing dealers choice. I didn't see any reason that the world should be so enthralled with the game. But that's just me.

My friend wants me to come visit in Tennessee this Summer, so I'm planning to do so. All you Tennessee blogger buds get ready, I'll be in your neck of the woods sometime soon. I expect you to drop everything and show me around, at least for one night.

OK, maybe not 'drop everything', but I would love to meet up with you. First beer is on me.

Today I had my Mom and 2 Aunts over for their Mother's day dinner. We always have them over and get them something nice just because they really appreciate it. They're not getting any younger so I like to let them know sometimes that they are appreciated.

Doesn't sound like much, but it has been busy. Now I'm chillin, waiting for Baseball Tonight to come on, afraid to see the Yankees score. Yankee losses are hard to take and there have been plenty of those so far this year. Blah!

Time to try to catch up.

Friday, May 06, 2005

Break Time

I need to take a break from blogging. I'm burnt out. Tired. Uninspired. I hope you will all remember me when I get back. Take care.....

OK, that was 1 minute by my clock. Whew! That was a hard thing to do, taking a break like that. Did it seem longer to you guys too? I won't be doing that again anytime soon. I got the shakes.

Actually, the reason for this post is that I think I'm going to have difficulty blogging this weekend. Tomorrow I'll be away almost the whole day and Sunday I'll have a house filled with oldies. Might be a light blog weekend for YB. I'll bet I'm not the only one either. I know Yoj has a similar problem.

Oh well. I survived that earlier break (see above) so I think I can survive having to squeeze in time as allowed.

Happy Mother's Day all you Mothers!

Happy weekend all you other mothers. ;)

For Your Viewing Pleasure

I've noticed that some provocative pics have been showing up lately. I decided to post a couple myself. Ladies, try to stay calm.....

Here is Spacebrain flying into adventure at the Stockholm Airport.

Here I am test flying the same super sonic flying machine.

Yes my friends, we saved the world that day. You probably thought the movie "The Last Starfighter" was a crock, didn't you? Well, know this, the attempted invasion was made and only a cowboy called Spacebrain and a humble artist wannabe known as Yankeebob were all that stood in the way of total annihilation that day. (Notice the Marvin the Martian logo on my shirt?)

Enjoy. Autographs are available fo a small price.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

How Kinky Are You?

Bummed this from Summer. I guess I'm a kinky one.

Your Hotlanta Kink Test score was 605!

Here is the chart so that you can see how you are rated:

100 or less You need to lighten up and live a little!
101 to 200 You have an average sex life in need of kink.
201 to 300 You have sweet hints of a kinky nature.
301 to 400 You are definitely a kinky player.
401 to 500 You are a major league kinkster!
501 to 600 Wow! You're too kinky for most!!!
601 or more SUPER FREAK ALERT! You da BOMB!
The maximum score for this test is 700.

Too Bad There Aren't Any Real Superheroes

Recently Spacebrain and I were talking about how crime in the city of Baltimore is scary. Real scary. There is a new Police Commissioner that ‘has a plan’. He’s the 3rd one in the last 4-5 years. I don’t have a lot of faith that his plan will be any better than the previous ones. So we came up with a plan for the city; we decided Baltimore needs a superhero. That is the only way we can see them making any headway.

Imagine if there really was a Superhero around. That would be really cool! When someone is attacked by a mugger and they call out for help, suddenly a stolid caped figure appears from seemingly out of no where, renders the attacker unconscious, rescuing the poor victim and returning their stolen property. All while some really intense sounding music sounds from somewhere. (Probably form an IPOD in his belt.)

Shortly after that, the victim begins laughing. Not with joy. Laughing hysterically at the heroes outfit. Calling him rude names. Telling him he needs to see Queer Eye for the Straight Guy so that he can learn to dress better when in public. Next the victim looks over her pocketbook and notices some damage, probably occurring when the hero grabbed it from the thief. Now she’s pissed and makes immediate plans to bring him before Judge Judy for compensation.

Next the Police arrive. They arrest the would be thief, listen to his complaint and then attempt to place the Superhero into custody also. Not for trying to help out, but for assaulting the robber. Then the lawsuits pile up, one on top of the other.

Being a Superhero would not be a profitable thing to try. Especially in this city. I think it would end up exactly like in The Incredibles and the heroes would become the victims of the lawyers and the media saturated idiots that can’t appreciate them for what they are.

I guess the new guy better have a good plan. Better than the last 2 guys. He’s not getting any help from Superheroes in this town. Too bad. I think it would be really cool if they did exist. Although I don’t think a guy wearing a cape and leotards is the best way to go around the city.

Now if it was a female Superhero, that’s a different story.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

New Polls Are Posted

Could be interesting.

Blasted Busy Day

I haven't blogged at all today. It's been too darn busy here. Peachy said she's been too busy too. Stupid work. I'll have to do some catching up later tonight.

I like the idea Beergirl had for the new Poll. Apparently there may be some relationship between the age of a parent and how their child views being a parent. My Mom was 18 when I was born, but I was second. She was 16 when my Sister was born. This one will be interesting, once I get it posted. First, I'm outta here!

Latest Poll Results

Here are the latest Poll results. Overwhelmingly we all want to see Peachy in her sexy leathers and Grace in her sexy new tiny bikini. So now, it's up to them. Peachy, Grace, what do you say? Gonna hook us up?

Check out the pic below. Peachy was nice enough to let me post this pic of her. She isn't even in all the leather I've seen, but it is a cool pic. It most likely will be the only one we'll actually see.

I'll do a new Poll today sometime. If anyone has any suggestions of Polls they would like to see, let me know. I'll do it just for you. :)

Do you think Peachy should take provocative pics in her biker leather? (Sharing with us, of course.)

Yes 90% 36
No 10% 4

40 votes total

Do you think Grace should take provocative pics in her sexy new tiny bikini? (Sharing with us, of course.)

Yes 82% 32
No 18% 7

39 votes total

Do you think Peachy & Grace should take provocative pics together? (Sharing with us, of course.)

Yes 79% 30
No 21% 8

38 votes total

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Question Of The Day

How does someone decide they want to have children?

This is brought about by a discussion I had with Peachy this morning. I'd like to better understand 'the other side'.

Faux Politeness

I just went into our little lunch area and noticed that the last piece of cake was getting smaller and smaller. The cake was leftover from last week's kiddies day and it does look good. It was several pieces larger yesterday but that last piece is shrinking. It's one of those things where no one wants to appear rude and scarf the last of it so it keeps getting cut in half. Soon all the halving will make it a mere microscopic conglomeration of a few atoms. Then we'll need Bill Nye The Science Guy to come in and show us how to divide the microscopic molecules in half so no one will have to be the one tagged with eating the last piece of cake.

Sometimes being 'polite' gets taken too far. I'm going to put a sign on the last, tiny little chunk that says, "Someone, eat the damn sliver please!" That would be funny to me. I'll bet it wouldn't be seen as 'polite' though. ;)

(BTW, before you ask, I don't like cake much so I'm not interested in putting the little guy out of my misery.)

Monday, May 02, 2005

For Ian

I got these jokes in an e-mail and they immediately reminded me of Ian. I could see him coming up with these. So for the King of puns, here ya go:

Here are the 10 first place winners in the International Pun Contest:

1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess
looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per

2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says,

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.

4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says
"Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?",
they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, " I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain;
they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a
small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from
the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was
unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went
back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist
hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to
"persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store,
saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.

Terrified, they did so, --- thereby proving that only Hugh, can prevent
florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which
produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little,
which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad
breath. This made him ..(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)..... A super
calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to
friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.

For The Record.....

I think marriage is a wonderful thing. When the right 2 people find each other and decide to go for it, I think it’s great.

I don’t think it’s so great for those of us (myself especially) who suck at picking out the right partners. This makes it a difficult proposition in every aspect of living. Not impossible, just difficult.

I am not anti-marriage, anti-relationship or anti-romantic anything. Pay attention to what I really say and not what you feel like I’m trying to say. Listen, learn and then leave me alone! Thanks, and have a nice day. :)

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.....

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Proof Positive

I went out for Sushi tonight and this is the message I got in my fortune cookie (click the pic to enlarge):

I consider it proof positive that I deserve the affection of all the babes and the respect of all the wimpy geeks.

Well, I gotta hang on to some hope anyway, right?