Saturday, December 30, 2006

Here There Were Daredevils

"I think you can make it man. Go for it." That was my best friend Keith, standing on my right. He always was so positive and reassuring. "I dunno dude. Thats pretty high up. You could end up squashed against the side." That was my other best friend Troy. He was standing to my left, pinching his chin with his fingers, looking at the stunt. "The Jump" as it came to be called in the following year (very a la Christmas Story).

We were standing on top of the hill behind the old OSI building. The building hadn't been occupied for years. In the back was a huge vacant lot that sloped downward. Steeper and steeper until about 2/3 of the way the hill dropped off sharply. We had set up a jump-ramp near the mid-way point of that hill and had been putting things in front of it to jump over with our bikes. We were all into the BMX scene back then. We all wanted to be Evil Knievel. We built this ramp out of old plyboard and 2 x 4's we found laying around back in that lot. It was a big one. Twice the length of a bike. Having it on that sloped hill made for some fun jumping. It was like flying for a while since the ground kept sloping downward even when you were were flying upward. We had been doing jumps for a week.

But my eye had caught something that I couldn't let go of. Near the bottom of that big hill there was an old box trailer. The back end of a tractor trailer that was used for storage. It was sitting there for years, rusting away. I sat there and watched the jumpers and thought "If we angled that ramp a little more and put it the right distance from that trailer, someone could jump the thing." Once I thought about it, I couldn't let it go. That someone had to be me.

All the guys looked at me like I was crazy when I said it. All of them but my 2 best buds. Troy was actually the bigger daredevil of us. He and I constantly tried to top one another. Keith never did do much on the bikes. He was mostly comedy relief. He also loved a good show.

So here we were, on top of the hill, the ramp repostitioned, the bikes ready. Me, I wasn't even thinking about it. I had to do it. Keith wanted to see the show. Troy, the voice of reason (this day) had reservations. That should have been a hint to me. If he wouldn't do it, well.... I should have listened to him.

I looked to the right, then to the left. There was no doubt in me. I was just being dramatic. I looked straight ahead, speaking at both of them and said, "What? Do you wanna live forever?", hopped on the bike and hit the hill.

As I was rushing down that hill I could see all the neighborhood gang standing around the periphery. Funny thing was, I never heard anything. I was totally focused on that ramp. I picked up speed, faster and faster, as fast as I could go. I hit that ramp dead center, perfectly. It launched me high into the air and suddenly I felt like I was flying. It was an awesome rush. Then the edge of the trailer was passing beneath me. I thought "Ha! I knew we had it right!" We did too. I cleared that trailer with feet to spare. Then I was over it and suddenly something occurred to me. We had been so focused on the take-off and clearing the height. No one ever considerd that I would have to land. It was a funny time to think about it, eh?

The hill dropped off very sharply behind that trailer. I looked down after clearing it and it looked so far away. That was the first time I felt a little concern. But the rush of flying that high was awesome enough that I just let it happen.

The ground seemed to take forever to reach up to me. Just like I had done thousands of times, I landed the back tire at a perfect angle to let it take the major brunt. The thing is, I had never landed on that steep a hill before. Nor from that high up. So when that back tire hit, several things happened: The tire instantly blew out, the bike lurched far forward and the front tire blew out, the handle-bars couldn't take the stress and they let loose and went straight forward, my rump bounced hard enough on the seat and it just broke right off. All those things could have been easily survived but that was just the first impact. Naturally the bike would hit and bounce up. the second impact was the killer.

It bounced up and came back down. That hurt! My rump hit that naked seat post and I felt the skin on the small of my back rip open as it slid up my back. Those handlebars were so far forward that my nose ended up right with the tire but that wasn't the worst part. I fell off the pedals because I was reaching so far forward and my privates crunched on the bike frame. My ankles slid on the metal grating of the pedals and ripped open. Then the back wheel flew off. I was told it looked so cool. Parts were flying everywhere.

Once my privates hit I just let go. I ended up rolling down the hill in a ball. The bike kept rolling too. Afterward I just lay there staring up at the blue, blue sky, taking inventory of myself. Was I broken? It took a while but miraculously I wasn't. I got help to sit up. One of the girls looked over my back and got all squemish. The cut was from the beginning of my tailbone to the middle of the back. About 6"-8" long. My shoulders hurt for days from the strain of going so far forward. All my joints hurt for days. My privates hurt for longer.

But I walked away from it. I had done what I said I could do. The bike was a total loss however. The handlebars had totally broken off. The seat was a goner. Both rims, tires and tubes were trashed. Later we found a crack in the frame. But I hadn't used my good bike so I wasn't out of it.

It was the single most talked about event of that Summer. I never topped the rush of it. Some time later Troy devised a landing ramp and he made the jump too. It worked very well. He and I were the only ones brave (stupid?) enough to do it. We should have thought of that landing ramp for the first jump.

Troy went on to race motocross. Sponsered and everything. I did too for a while but I was never as good as him. Keith went on to play in his band at the Whiskey-a-Go-Go in L.A. Never did do many big-time jumps. He was always all about the show anyway.

But I will never forget the rush of flying that day. I still think about it sometimes when I drive through the old neighborhood. I was there shopping in my old hometown the weekend before Christmas and had to drive by. I saw the old house and drove around the neighborhood then I paused at the dirt road to the OSI building. In my mind I could still see that old trailer sitting there as if it were yesterday. I sat for a second and looked at that old field and thought "Here there were daredevils".

Thursday, December 28, 2006


I just walked past this guy with big boobies! It reminded me of this post YoJ did a little while back. This guy has some big ol boobs!

At first I thought it was a very manly woman without a bra. But up close I saw it wasn't. Kramer needs to come here with the Bro/Mansssiere.

It really is gross Yoj. It really is.

My Second Biggest Mistake

For some reason lately I have been thinking (again) about the second biggest mistake I ever made in life. At the time I thought it was the biggest mistake but I topped it later on.

The mistake I made was losing a dear friend, Christie Lee. Christie Lee and I were in love. It was a love/love relationship and we both benefitted from it. She and I were inseperable for a couple of years. I would go to her and we would begin adventures that I've never been able to duplicate to this day. One time it was an impulsive trip to the beach. No planning, just go. Another it was a boredom break where we'd pick a spot on the map and drive there to see what was to see. We always met someone new and had something to tell about it later. CL (my first CL... Ha!) was always there for me. She helped me through some really rough times too. When my first real relationship, first marriage, was going down the tubes I could go to her and we would spend some time together and things would be easier. She calmed my nerves.

My other best friend at the time was Princess. She was my Collie. A retired showdog (think Lassie) who was always at my side. She and I went everywhere together. I never used a leash with her or anything. She just hung with me no matter where we were or how crowded it got. She was so cool!

BTW, Christie Lee was a 1963 Chevrolet Impala SS. Completely restored by me (with some help). She was my escape so often that I thought of her as my best friend. It's a funny thing to some people to put such value on inanimate objects. I get that. But when you have tremendous turmoil in your life and find something that eases the pain it happens. The good thing about placing value on something like a car is that you take good care of it. Respect it and it will respect you.

I found Chrisite Lee sitting in some biker guys barn one day. It was instant love. I bought her and began restoring her. It took a lot. Money and time. I even took night school classes to learn how to rebuild the engine from scratch. She got her name from my now ex-wife. She claimed from the start that I loved that car more than I loved her. Turns out, that was true. The name came from a Billy Joel song simply titled "Christie Lee". It is about a guy totally in love with the girl to the point where his life means nothing.

Anyway, I lost CL eventually. I was young and full of inexperienced romantic notions and feelings of 'proper ways of acting'. During a period of attempted reconciliation with the wife she was looking at buying a new car. New to her. It was a classic too. An amazing Olds 442 with all the trimmings. I made the mistake of driving CL to see this car and the owner decided immediately that he wouldn't make a deal unless we traded her in on the Olds. I resisted for weeks. But eventually I succomed to those feelings of having to fix a marriage (it was in my mind the only right way to act) and I made the deal.

That night I sat at the front room window and looked at the new wheels out there. It was a beautiful automobile. A person couldn't have wanted for better. But I realized that night that it was just a car. Not a friend. I sat into the night and cried. I knew I had made a mistake. Seems silly, doesn't it? But I was 22 and full of romantic notions. So I cried. I also knew that night for certain that the relationship was too broken to be fixed. I always tried to fix things that couldn't be fixed back then. I usually went too far before I realized it too. This was one of those times.

Withing 2 months I was gone. Christie Lee was gone. Princess had died of cancer and my first real relationship was done. Worse yet, it had left me jaded. For the first time I realized that life really can kick you in the ass and that if you don't take care of you, no one else really won't either. They might claim to want to but the truth is that no one really does. They will always take theirs first. If you keep giving they will keep taking.

Christie Lee ended up in the junkyard. Wrecked by the drunken redneck who got her before I could find her and get her back. I saw her there. It sucked! That Olds was run into by someone who fell asleep driving at 2 in the morning and demolished it. It was parked in front of the ex's house. It was only a year or so later.

I don't know why I've been thinking about this stuff recently. I still have a sorry romantic streak in me a mile wide. Maybe thats why. I intend to find another Christie Lee soon. I've been planning it for years. But none will be the same. Maybe she needs a new name instead? I guess I'll know when I find her. But when I do I won't make the mistake of losing her again.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

A Merry Christmas Indeed

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. I know I did. Except for the family dinner part, the whole weekend was awesome! Family dinners are sometimes annoying but when my mother is involved you can pretty much count on them being bad.

But Santa did make his way to my house. I got some loot that surprised me. The best thing is this amazing New York Yankees door mat. Yes, I know that sounds funny but it really is very cool. One wouldn't think a door mat could be cool, pretty, classy & neato but this one is. I will post a pic so you all can see what I mean. I also got this funny multi-colored mechanical duck. He is on a tricycle and when you wind him up he rolls around and on top of his head these helicopter propellers start spinning. Its very funny. I know, I know. I'll have to post a pic of that too so you know what the heck I'm talking about.

The best part was surprising people with my gifts. Nicci wasn't expecting anything special but she got one of the prettiest neclaces ever. She loved it. My Uncle was also very happy with me yesterday. I managed to hook him up with stuff from the Marine Corp PX that he hadn't been able to get to. (I keep telling them to get a PC and internet.) He's an ex-Marine and he likes to shopw it still. Well, as he likes to tell us, once a Marine, always a Marine. We managed to pretty much cover all the family's wishlist this year. Since our family is shrinking all the time, it wasn't too hard. It was a good day.

Then there is my mom.... oy vey! Shes an odd one. Not about gifts. She does her best in that area. I say that mostly because its so hard to be around her. It basically sucks but we deal. She says and does the most strange things. All the time. I'm really not sure what planet she is from. I have to tell this one thing just to see what reactions I get: She gave Nicci some of her old lingere. Used by her. She said it was too pretty and too expensive to just throw away. Now, first of all, I am a bit of a connoisseur of lingere and this stuff wasn't all that. Second, why in the world would I want to see my woman in lingere previously worn by my mother? Third, WTF? Fourth, thinking about that makes me wanna puke. Fifth, WTF? Sixth, why would Nicci want used lingere? Seventh, WTF!!!

Other than that incident, we tolerated things well. :)

I'm still walking around with Dean Martin Christmas songs in my head. The after-Christmas blues don't get to me. I tend to be a goof most of the time anyway so the lingering effects aren't a big change. An example: How many times did you see A Christmas Story during the 24 hour marathon? I saw it about 5 times. Yeah, I can be a goof. Told Ya!

So Happy After Christmas to everyone. I hope it was a good time for you. Now I'm back to the old routine. But for a while I'll still be singing happy tunes. Anyone need a spirit boost, just call. :)

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry, Merry Christmas....

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I don't know about all my blogger buds but I have been very busy having a kick-ass Christmas weekend so far. Sorry about not having time for the blog. Doesn't mean I don't wonder about how most of you are. Funny how I do wonder about a lot of you....

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all my blog friends and anyone else who may just happen to stop by.

God Bless.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Assault Of A Teacher

It was 4th grade Math class. I remember it vividly still to this day. I'll never forget it. I was sitting in the back of the class, next to last in the row. My friend Danny to one side, Greg to the other. We had perfected the art of putting things on the points of our pencils and sort of snapping them to shoot whatever was on there rapidly in whatever direction we wanted. It was genius really. Balled up paper, just the right size and consistency, and you could pop anyone in the room on the head. We put pieces of our lunch on there and shot it anywhere we wanted. No place in the room was out of range. We were experts.

The best stuff was old, well chewed gum. It was deadly accurate and got the best "Ewww!" reactions from people. You chewed it, rolled it in your fingers until it was slightly dry and stuck it onto the pencil point juuuust enough to allow for good contact but a good release too. I never liked chewing gum before we learned the art of shooting it at people off our pencil points.

This particular morning I was into it. I had plucked my 3rd noggin with uncanny accuracy and I was feeling like I could hit anything. So I decided to take out my old piece of gum and shoot it into the trashcan. The one sitting beside the Teacher's desk. The desk the Teacher was still sitting at, grading papers.

Without giving it a thought, I took the gum out of my mouth, balled it up, placed it on top of the pencil, pulled it back and let it fly. It flew straight and true, just like always. Like I had done a hundred times before. I had no doubt it would end up in the trashcan.

But something happened that morning. Maybe a slight crosswind mysteriously blew through the room. Maybe gravity shifted for a second. Maybe there was a sunspot that misaligned the electron fields just a bit. I dunno. But for whatever reason, that gum started straight for the trashcan but about halfway there it began a slow left curve movement straight at you know who. Mr. Weir, my Teacher. Right for him.

During that flight I saw for the first time that maybe I wasn't a fool-proof shot after all. Maybe I could err in my judgment. I remember thinking that it couldn't possibly hit him. It had to fly over his shoulder where he would most likely never notice it. Yeah, that would happen. During that gum's flight I remember thinking that "maybe I should have waited until he left the desk". Yeah, all those thoughts flew through my brain just before that gum hit him. Hit him hard right in the shirt pocket. Right over his heart. If I had shot an arrow, it would have done him in.

Now, Mr. Weir wasn't a small man. Actually I think he went to college on a Football scholarship. He looked to me like a pro-wrestler. He was scary big. Once that gum hit him he stopped writing and slowly looked up from his papers. His narrowed beady eyes slowly scanned the room looking to see who the guilty party was that had just assaulted him in such an evil manner. Those eyes settled right on me.

I know what he saw. When the gum hit him I just froze in place. I still had the pencil at post-firing position. My mouth was hanging wide open. My eyes were as huge as saucers. I knew what he saw because suddenly I was terrified for my life. I had just assaulted a Teacher with a nasty wad of ABC gum. I was dead. It showed on my face very easily.

He looked at me, slowly looked down at the gum now stuck to whatever paper he had been looking over, then slowly looked back up at me. With his eyes never once leaving mine he said in a low, growly, menacing voice, "I want whoever is responsible for this to come up here and put it where it is supposed to go." The room was deadly silent. "Now!" he said in a slightly louder voice.

I somehow managed to get up on my wobbly legs and trudge the 150 miles to his desk. As I got closer the fire in his eyes glowed even brighter. He never even blinked once as I watched him try to stare holes through my head. I got to his desk and slowly reached out to take the gum from the desk. As I reached out he grabbed my wrist, still staring in my eyes (without ever blinking) and said, "That's strike one for you mister. You are now being watched. I won't forget this incident." His eyes narrowed even more when he said "incident". It made me flinch. Then he let me go.

I unstuck the gum from the paper, threw it in the can and slowly made my way back to my seat. I could feel him still staring at me the whole time. I sat in silence as the snickering around the room began. When I glanced over at my friend Danny he had his head down on his arms and I could see he was laughing very hard. I looked to the left at Greg and he was doing the same. I just sat there numb, feeling like I would wet my pants.

It took a few days before I could smile about it. I did eventually. Later in the year even Mr. Weir could smile about it. But for quite a few days I steered clear of him. I saw him watching me everywhere in the school. At recess, in the halls, at lunch. I saw him standing and pointing at me with my homeroom teacher. I knew he really was watching me.

I did all my math homework for weeks afterward. I worked hard (and silent) in his class after that. It was a scary time in my young life. Having assaulted a Teacher.

One would think I would have learned my lesson. But there are other similar stories to tell.....

Full Circle

I saw a car this morning with a Washington D.C. license plate. It had this line printed on it: "Taxation Without Representation".

I remember in school they taught us that that was one of the big reasons the Revolutionary War started. The colonists were taxed without being represented in government.

It occurred to me that we have come full cicle. These days we are taxed out the wazoo and we are not represented in government either. The clowns we send to office are not interested in what the people want and need. They are interested in what they can get from the special interest groups and lobbyists.

We are not represented at all.

We have come full circle.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Cookie Philosophy

I remember sitting on the stairs of my house when I was a kid, watching the adults in the kitchen making cookies for the holidays. I sat and watched through the bars of the banister like I was in jail or something. One hand on each bar, face pressed tightly in between, straining to see exactly when those hot, melty chocolate chip cookies would come out of the oven. I always knew when they did too. They just called to me. They were and still are my favorite cookies. Pretty much the only ones I truely like. You can keep all those fancy-schmantzy ones. Gimme a good old, soft and warm chocolate chip cookie any day. Preferably every day. :)

I don't mind saying that because it's true. There are all kinds of cookies but when you watch people, the majority go for the staples. The chocolate chips, sugar cookies, oatmeal raisin and the peanut butter ones. Everyone talks about how they love the other kinds, the weird no bake ones that are all gritty, the so called smores ones, the fruit filled ones, the spice ones, the snicker-doodles, the shortbread ones (total bleech! there). They all talk about them but they all really return to the 4 staples.

I watched the adults make all these different style cookies over the years and the end result was always the same. The chocolate chip ones, the oatmeal raisin ones and the soft sugar ones cut into cool shapes with colorful sprinkles on them were the ones that everyone went for. They all were eaten. Most of the others ended up stale and in the trash.

I think it's sort of a metaphor for how some people are. The ones who freely admit to loving the 4 staples and munching mostly those are usually genuine, real people. The ones who talk all the time about some exotic style cookie but don't really like them are usually fake people. They just want to seem all different and more interesting than they really are. When no one is looking, they are mowing down some oatmeal cookies by the dozen. The people who really like the weird style cookies, like the Deep Shit cookies (link here) and scarf them down in leiu of the 4 staples really are differently minded. Usually they have their own style of living. They are cool people for parties but can invariably be annoying if you get too much exposure to them.

Pay attention this Christmas season to the people around you. See for yourself. I'll bet you find out the same thing I did. The type of cookies a person prefers, not just what they claim to prefer but what they actually eat, will tell you a lot about their true personality. I promise it will.

Now excuse me. I hear some chocolate chips calling me again. Breakfast of champions! ;)

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I'm Still Here... Somewhere

The past week has been a whirlwind. I have been so busy I didn't even notice that I was a blogger slacker. This past week I went to Colonial Williamsburg, finished that major project I posted about last week, skipped a work day to finish art projects, locked myself out of the house (Duh!) and didn't take many breaks to breathe.

The biggest thing taking all my time was the art project. I got in the mood to do something in the house and started it not realizing that I didn't have enough time to finish it before our Christmas Open House/Party this Saturday. You just can't predict when the right creative mood will hit. I started the thing and then realized that if I attempted to do the color parts I would never get it done. I didn't want a half-done mess so I compromised and detailed it in black paint. It turned out pretty OK. Later on I'll paint in the colors but for now it's passable. Here are some pics. (Sorry for the quality.)

Full view of the arch between the kitchen and the dining room.

Close-up of the main picture.

View under the arch. The words are Italian. They say "Good food, good wine, good friends."

This is the writing on the wall in the dining room. (You can see the far view in pic. #1.) A Norman Vincent Peale quote copied in his handwriting.

Nicci saw a decal of this in a magazine for $169.00. Can you believe that? It took me maybe 1.5 hours to copy. And yes, the original was all crooked like that. I guess it's supposed to be authentic like his handwriting.

So that's it for the art. Otherwise we have been working on getting all the stuff together for our party. This thing has grown over the years to where it's almost too much now. But it is awesome to have everyone I know and care about in one place at least once a year. Any bloggers who are going to be in the area are welcome to stop by too. Meritt, I make an awesome Latte. :)

Today I am leaving in about 15 minutes for our department Christmas luncheon. It's at a fancy restaurant and we'll be having wine and good food and not returning to work. That's the best part. This week will end up being a 2.5 day week for me. I have no complaints. Then tonight I am going with my Uncle to his club dinner. I think I'm going to gain about 5 lbs. today. But it's all free so bring it on!

So I am still around. Just a bit busy this week. I'll get back on track after Saturday night. Uhmmm, maybe after recovering on Sunday I should say. :)

Friday, December 08, 2006

Update And Day Off w/Pics

Yesterday went exceptionally well. I was so happy with how things went... I just can't describe it here. The team we have is excellent. Everything works just like it should. It was a good day.

Today I am off. Not at work is cool. But I'm off so I can start an art project in the house. Those of you who have been around a while know how I like to paint stuff on my walls. "I don't need no stinking wallpaper or stupid decals!" Nope, all original art for me. This will be the first project in the new place. It needs to be a little more classy than the last place. Less cartoonish (which bums me a little) and more stylish. I'm starting small with the arch between the kitchen and the dining room. Once it's done I'll post something.

This weekend should be very cool too. WE are headed to Colonial Williamsburg for Christmas shopping and wine tasting. Williamsburg has to be beautifully decorated this time of year. Plus we are doing the special 'reserve wine tour' at the winery. I'm sure I'll hate almost all the wines but sometimes you get surprised. To me, the more you pay for wine the worse it tastes. So the possibility that all the special reserves will suck is pretty good. But I just want to do it once. It's a need I have to try anything and everything at least once. Who knows, I may be surprised.

Here are a couple of pics from the Christmas Party this past weekend. Enjoy them. I'm not sure they will be up long.

YB and Nicci. Isn't she beautiful? Yeah, I know, what's she doing with me? ;)

YB and Lindsey. She's so cool!

"Valentine" and Friend

The Timewarp Dancers, all 3 of them. ;)

That's pretty much all that came out decent. There are bunches more but nothing I want to post and explain.

Everyone have a great weekend. I won't be back online until Monday evening. Buh Bye!!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Not Even A Little Nervous

Today we are going to make the most expensive and possibly the most important product run that this company has ever made. We are going to do it for the first time ever. We are going to use a methodology that is in place because of my being here. The function and flow is all my brainchild. My responsibility. I should be nervous, right?

Somehow I'm not.

I am anxious to get it going. Ready to start and see how things go. A little excited that we are finally at this stage. The culmination of almost 6 months of work with a great team. Now we get to prove that we are the right group. That we are ready for 'prime-time'.

I'm thinking that my partner and I should have a little celebration after this stuff is in the can. Assuming it does go well. Which it will. (Confidence is a must today. :) )

So wish us luck. With any big project there are always "Oh Shits!" But we feel ready. Sometime this afternoon we will know just how good we really are.

I should be nervous, right?

Somehow I'm not.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

See Thyself First

I was headed home yesterday, leaving a mall parking lot, when I noticed the really funny looking guy walking toward a truck. He looked like an egg with an egg for a head. Like egg stackers or something. I smiled and then thought, " I'll bet his parents are pretty too." Then I got to find out. They were right behind him. They all looked like eggs. Maybe they were real live Weebles? I dunno.

Then I started thinking about how strange it is when a person makes fun of another person because of something they can't even control. When you think about it, a person is born a certain way and they are stuck with it. Thats it. Barring radical reconstructive plastic surgery, they will basically be the same looking person forever. And some people choose to make fun of that. Me included.

It starts when we are little. Kids are the worst. Kids really screw with other kids when they think they are funny looking. Thats how the cliques form in grade school. Adults should know better.

There are some people out there who choose to look funny. They choose to look and act retarded so they deserve to be the butt of some fun jokes. But thats all relative too. I guess if someone chooses to have 100 piercings, body covered in tatoos and dress like a deadite in an Evil Dead movie all the time, thats their thing. They can choose that if they want to. But I choose to find them amusing.

Now, I mostly don't allow what I'm thinking to show to the person. Usually I have my private thoughts and move on. With the exception of a few choice friends, I never let people know what really lurks inside my mind. I don't think thats too cool to do unless a person earns it. Plus, I'm pretty much an average guy so I'm sure there are people who look at me and think of some funny stuff. I don't blame them. Just the shine on top of my head is fuel for some good jokes.

But yesterday I thought (not for the first time) that it is a strange thing to do, making fun of someone for something they have no control over. It made me feel a little less happy with myself.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Company Party

We had our big company Christmas party on Saturday. I actually wore a suit too (since it's pretty much the only time I will wear it). I like these kind of parties. It's fun to see everyone cutting loose a bit after being with them in the work environment all the time. Some cut loose more than others too. Those are the fun stories.

There were the usual culprits that everyone always waits to see what they will do next. The ones who always go too far with the booze and make everyone laugh. They usually don't disappoint either. There was one guy who got up on the dance floor after about 100 martinis and did his version of dancing. He was awesome (if you want to laugh)! When AC/DC came on he jumped out there adn statrd flexing himself like he was dancing. But it was real slow, like his muscles were all tightened up. He moved like he was in pain and played air guitar during about 4 songs. It was great. My friend Lindsey just had to go up and dance behind him, imitating his moves. (Have I mentioned she's an instigator?) He never noticed but we got some great pics.

There was the usual slutty looking babes too. One who came as a guest of an employee had the shortest mini-dress ever on. It was super tight and bright pink. We called her Valentine. She looked like she was dressed for Valentine's day. :) She danced every song too which wasn't bad if you were a guy. She was sexy. (I guess some women like looking too.) I mean she danced every song. Turns out she has a part time job as a dancer for parties and stuff. She told us that later. Nicci was talking about how she looked awful and I made the mistake of saying she looked great to me. Oops! Then our friend Tammie told me that if she could still wear dresses like that she would. That sounded sweet to me. When Valentine came over and drug me onto the dance floor with her I think I lost some points with Nicci. But it was worth it.

Then one of the highlights of the evening came along in the form of a couple who are still Rocky Horror Picture Show fanatics. They got the DJ to play the Timewarp and danced the whole routine. Everyone just formed a circle around them to watch. Everyone except Valentine. She danced along with them. They showed her how. It was funny. Geez! I remember when that show was new! I guess I am getting old.

It was a fun night. The food was good. The crowd was fun. I did have a little trouble recovering on Sunday. I didn't have all that much wine but I sure felt it all day. I remember a time when I could do that several nights in a row and feel fine. Oh well. Not any more.

I had forgotten how much I like those parties. The old job really didn't have those. I'm sure I'll remember more goofy happenings and I'll post them as I do.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Quizzes Kinda Suck

I don't know why I take these quizzes. I never have a result that could be considered socially acceptable. Maybe I should lie some? Oh well, away we go......

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

Purity Test

MY RESULT:Completely Contaminated

You beast, you. Save yourself now before your mother has a nervous breakdown.

On the eSPIN Purity Scale (patent pending), you score 1 Purity Point out of 6. (Honestly, we'd prefer to make it zero out of 6, but then we'd have to get the authorities involved, and you'd have to hire a lawyer, and,'s more hassle than it's worth.) Even though, on our scale, you're pretty much the scum of the earth, there's still a way for you to redeem yourself and purify your soul. How about an exorcism?

Take This Quiz!

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

What's Your Mental Age?


A delicate blend of childlike enthusiasm and adult-style maturity. Well, a little bit of maturity.

You've got a free spirit, and you love to have fun. Admirable qualities for sure. Just be sure not to have too much fun. You know, like, one-way-ticket-to-the-emergency-room fun. Oh, who are we kidding? You'll do just fine.

Take This Quiz!

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Quote Of The Day

I liked this one. Peachy posted it and I 'borrowed' it. Let's see what else we get.

Peachy, I guess we already know what yours would be. Got any others? ;)

Answer This Quote Of The Day:

If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

YB's Disciplinarian Daycare

It was suggested to me this morning that the perfect business for me to open would be a Daycare. Imagine that! YB's Daycare.

I had to think for a moment or two. Then it dawned on me. It would be kinda fun. I could help the little tykes learn a little bit about the world before we actually turn them loose in it. I could also teach them respect which is really lacking in today's youth.

I started liking the idea.

Imagine the impressed looks on the parents faces when they come in for the first time to tour my place. They would love the little school style desks with built in leather restraints. Seatbelts, shoulder harnesses, head restraints to make sure the kids always face forward, leg restraints. Oh yeah, no running around in class in my place.

They would also love the nap room with all the tiny little stainless steel cages for locking up kids. Cages just barely big enough to let them curl up into fetal positions. Nice and cozy. (Thats what they do anyway, right?) No bothersome bedding in there either. Nice cold steel that gets warmer the more they lay on it. Easy to clean up messes. Gotta make sure they get their sleep whether they want to or not.

Then I'd show them the time-out area. The tall chair in the corner with the metal restraints. They would love the pointy dunce cap in the time out area complete with electrodes that attach to the ears for shocking any little kiddies who would dare to try and end their time out sessions prematurely.

Yes, my kids would learn discipline all right.

Then there would be the classes. The "How To Speak With Respect Or Get A Smack In The Head" class that all young people desperately need these days. The "How To Wear Clothes That Fit Properly Or It's Your Ass!" class would be a big hit. And the one I would teach personally, "There Is No Other Baseball Team But The Yankees" class. That would be by far the most popular.

I could have adult continuing education classes too. We could teach the "How Not To Be Like Your Stupid Parent" class. The "How To Discipline Without Leaving Marks" class. The "Politically Correct Is Anti-Individual" class. And my personal favorite, "Dr. Spock Was A Retard" class.

Of course I would handle all the adult disciplining personally.

Yes, I think the idea of me running a daycare would be good for everyone. Kids and parents. I may have to rethink my career direction here. Anyone want to be partners with me?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Monday After A Long Weekend

Mondays after long weekends are the hardest things in the world to endure. I have been enjoying myself for days and now..... blah! Up early, go through the routine, fight traffic, get to work, see people you wouldn't ever care to see again (in any reality), try to muddle through.

Yeah, Blah!

I saw some dumb-ass people on the highway again. I was cruising along and noticed that there was a line in the left lane going almost the speed limit. No traffice in the right lane at all. I counted 11 vehicles all following this one dope, stuck in the left lane. The passing lane. There was no one in the right lane. The slow lane. As I passed them I realized they had to all be followers and that I probably wouldn't like any of them. They stayed that way for miles, just following the leader. A dubious leader at that. Weird.

Nicci and I managed to decorate the house this weekend. 3 days worth of decorating. It really does take that long to finish up. We go a little crazy just because we like to. Plus we always have our annual Christmas Open House and it makes the place super cozy being all Christmasy like that. Anyone want to come over for our party? Lemme know. :)

Our tree has so many ornaments now that I am afraid to get any more. We do get new ones but I think if I put one more on the thing it would fall over. It does look very cool though.

Not much to say about the weekend, I guess. It was nice. Quiet. I did try a new wine. It sorta kicked my butt quick too. It is Behringer White Zinfandel/Chardonney. It went right to my head. But it is seriously good. Try it, you'll like it.

This is one of those lame posts that I make just to fill space. I'll look back a few months from now and remember how I felt when I wrote it so it's OK. I guess I should stop babbling and get something going this morning. Sure.... whatever.....

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Just a quickie post to wish all my bestest buds a Happy Thanksgiving. God bless you all.

xoxo YB

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

So... Why Did I Come In Today?

I can't figure out why I came in to work today. There is nothing happening and a lot of people are outta here. But I do like the lack of population. It's very cool!

I guess I'm here so I don't waste one of my vacation days. That's a good reason. OK, I'll buy it. But I think it will be a boring day.

Plus there is the "lack of motivation on the day before a holiday" issue. It's hard to focus before a long weekend full of the promise of fun and..... well, not going to work. :)

I had an epiphany last night. This may come as a shock to some of you but I don't think I understand relationships like a lot of people do. (Sarcasm?) Specifically the end of them. Perhaps I understand a lot less than most. Yes, this isn't really a surprise. I plan on hashing it out on blogger soon. I just need to get my thoughts together first. But I think either I am way too different about things (as in easy come easy go) or maybe the people I know are way too anal and kinda sad in the way they handle things. Perhaps I don't know anything. We'll see, with a little help from my blog friends.

Anyway, time to find something to get into. See Ya!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My Bruised Buttbone

This morning I bruised my buttbone. Yep, and as embarrassing as that sounds the way I did it was even more embarrassing.

I was sort of leaning on the edge of the bed and I put one sock on. (The new bed is pretty high.) Then I leaned against it to put the other sock on. I felt my foot with the sock start to slip a little but I remember thinking that I had plenty of time to finish and stand up before I fell. Wrong.

My foot with the sock on slipped right out from under me and down I went. Last week it wouldn't have been as bad but the new bed has wooden side rails so my buttbone hit that on the way down. Then it hit the floor. It kinda hurt. ;)

I sat there thinking that what just happened should only happen to kids. They are the ones who usually don't know any better. Kids don't acknowledge the warning signs and have to learn the hard way. But noooo, I let it happen even when I had ample time to avoid the fall.

After I realized my kid-like mistake I just sat there and laughed for a while. Nicci came around the corner, looked at me on the floor, shook her head and walked away. Then I tried to stand up. Ouch! The buttbone is bruised and will remind me for days about my dopeyness. (Is that a word?)

But it still makes me laugh.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Weekend Stuff

I had an interesting weekend, to be sure. I had plans to hang with the band Friday night but that didn't happen. I was really looking forward to it too. But Nicci had different ideas. (Don't ask, it still irritates me.)

Instead I had dinner with my Aunt & Uncle. My Aunt's birthday was Saturday so we took them out to celebrate.

Saturday was weird too. I went to help my Uncle at his store for a while and then helped my Aunt and Mother *shudder* with their indoor yard sale. They have one of those things every year and they get the Firehall meeting room for free. (A side benefit to my Uncle having been the Fire Chief for so many years.) They actuall make out really well. It's pretty funny to see all those old women in there haggling and gossiping all day. Luckily I was only there for about 1.5 hours.

Sunday I went to set up my Mom's PC for her. She just moved and she has no clue about how to do it. First things first; The person who packed it for her needs a smack in the head. That was my first thought. Everything was stuffed into two garbage bags and transported. This is the PC I gave her when I got my new one so luckily I was very familiar with it. But the tangled rat's nest of cables and wires, including the mouse and keyboard, took some time to get straightened out.

I finally got the PC set up and started it only to find that it didn't want to run. As it turned out, she hasn't run her anti-spam filter for months nor has she cleaned out the system. She had 93 different viruses (tracking and data mining ones) and it didn't want to run. She also had 1172 spam emails junking up the thing. No matter how many times I show her how to protect the thing from stuff like that she never does it. It took me 2 hours to get the thing running right again.

Old ladies! Sheesh! No wonder they are victims of identity theft so often.

So my weekend was weird but lame again. Not bad but not great. I think I need a few adventures to get me back on track. I am making plans for some interesting visitations in the near future. That should be fun. Plus I am headed to Williamsburg (The Winery especially!) just before Christmas so that will be cool. Something to look forward to. I guess life can't always be exciting, can it?

Too bad.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Buffy Night

I've had a weird few nights lately. It seems like my life is so normal sometimes but then when I look around with open eyes I know thats not quite the case. Last night it sorta started bugging me. My plans to hang with the band were changed for me and I wasn't real happy all day. At some point I got the Michelle Branch song "Goodbye To You" stuck in my head and I could get it out. So I played the CD a few times and that helped a bit. (I had forgotten how much I love that song.)

Then I started thinking about the first time I heard her sing it. It was on an episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". She did an acoustic version of it. Only at the end of the song did the whole band join in. It was great. So naturally what did I do? I broke out the Buffy DVDs and watched that episode, "Tabula Rasa". The ending of that one really gets to me. It's so sad.

Then I started think about what had led the Scoobies into the situation in that show and I had to watch the "Once More With Feeling" episode. That is probably my all time favorite one anyway. It's the musical one, a la "Brigadoon". I don't think there has ever been a more original episode of any TV show ever done than "Once More With Feeling".

Of course that started my mind again and I started thinking that it was so sad that Tara was killed at the end of that season. That's when Willow went all crazy witch and started killing the bad guys. (She was so hot in all that goth black!) I had to see that again.

So I ended up watching the last 3 shows of the season, "Villians", "Two To Go" and "Grave".

My evening went well into the morning hours. All of it with Buffy and the Scoobies. I sometimes forget how much I loved that show. I don't get attached to shows at all. These days I can't find any that I can watch regularly. Not like that one. It was kinda fun in an odd, melancholy way. All started because my weird mood brought to mind a song that I hadn't thought about in a while.

And guess what? This morning I still have that song in my head anyway. Go figure.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Just A Thought......

.....on fashion.

Guys and belts with blue jeans. I just don't know. To me it's just wrong somehow.

I think the yuppies made dressing up blue jeans the 'in-thing', didn't they? Or have I been out there somewhere and it just occurred to me to be annoyed by this?

Guys and belts with blue jeans? No thanks.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Ethopian Restaurants

Lately I have been hearing a lot about Ethopian restaurants. My friend Lindsey went to one and then my friend Lisa and another co-worker did too. Two different ones. Before last week I had never even heard of an Ethopian restaurant.

It sounds like an interesting experience. You eat everything with your hands, sort of. They give you some kind of bread and you scoop things up with it.

All I ever heard about the Ethopians was that they were starving over there. Somehow having their restaurants in this country seems wrong. Like... shouldn't they be opening a cheap eats place at home? Helping out their country?

Maybe they send all the leftovers home. That would be good.

Yankees News That Makes Me Happy

I totally forgot to shout-out to the world about how happy this trade the Yankees made has made me....... They finally unloaded Wright for another relief pitcher. Any trade involving him would have been awesome. Personally I think they could have just sat him down and would have gotten as much out of him.

I actually jumped up and high-fived myself when I read this. I just haven't remembered to celebrate here with my Yankee friends yet.

Not only does unloading that bum help the Yanks roster but it hurts the Orioles. Since he will be starting for them *ahem* you can count on a few more losses this year. When he starts that is. He's usually only good for about 1/2 a year anyway.

Good job Yankees. Already the 2007 season is looking good.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A Day With Peachy

As Peachy mentioned on her blog she and I spent the day yesterday hanging with the old gang and then touring the Aquarium. It was so much fun seeing her and the others. Mostly her. :) Here are a few pics from the day.

Leaving lunch with the gang, minus the one taking the pic. (Thats Spacebrain on the back left.)

The gang again, with the missing member.

Peachy being herself.

Peachy doing her Vanna White impression.

Me at the same spot just looking cool and relaxed.

Peachy in front of the Harbor, showing off her sexy boots. See that building in the backround with the glass pyramid top? That is the Aquarium. We parked on one side of the Harbor and walked all the way around to get to it. But the parking was free!

Me in almost the same spot, chillin. Is there a recurring theme here?

This guy took a liking to us. He was funny looking but had a great personality. ;)

Same guy, trying to get a smootch.

We liked this one because it looks like something from a Dr. Seuss book.

Nice camoflage. If you were standing back and not focused on this spot you could never see this guy hiding, waiting to take a bite out of you.

Snoozing by the waterfall. This is in the Australian Outback exhibit.

Puffins. That guy in front kept splashing water all over the glass. I thought the pic turned out kinda neat. I was also impressed that Peachy knew they were Puffins.

Peachy's favorite... Bats! It's hard to see but those are bats hanging from the top of the Outback cage. (I had to post this one Peachy. Sorry.)

Peachy and a whale bone. I just posted this one because I like it a lot. Isn't she adorable?

Me making funny faces. It was actually worse before Peachy snapped the pic. :)

It was a great day. Thanks Peachy and "The Gang". I could post more but I think I did enough damage. :)

Monday, November 13, 2006

Gross Post Ahead


Ok, you were warned........

I walked into the restroom and there was this old guy in there at the urinal. He was humming as he did his thing. He also was whizzing right into the water so it was loud and splashy. Women may not know what that means to guys so I'll tell you. A guy doesn't have to whiz into the water. He really shouldn't. It's loud and it splashes on his pants and shoes. Gross.

But he was going for it. And enjoying it from the sounds of his tune.

Then he backed away a step and started wagging it. While he zipped up he loudly said, "Ahhhhh..." Then he flushed and once it was done flushing he spit a big loogey into the urinal.

Then he left without washing his hands.

I thought old guys were better mannered than us young guys?

Good thing we aren't a food preparation company, eh?

Weekend Stuff

What a weird weekend we had. Saturday was so amazing outside. It was 78 and sunny.... in November! I couldn't stay inside. I actually went out and mowed the lawn and enjoyed the day. Even though that wasn't one of my weekend plans. I couldn't resist. At least now I can say it was the final mow-job and I can winterize the mower and store it away.

While I was outside a friend stopped by. He was on his motorcycle, out enjoying the day. We talked for about an hour. Work stuff is very interesting between he and I. When I left that short lived job last year (the one I hated and only stayed for 3 weeks) he was here doing the job I'm doing now. But he went to the place I abandoned and recommended me for his vacated position. Thats where I am now. Confused enough yet?

Anyway, we compared notes and then he said he had some more interesting news. His wife of 14 years is leaving. She came home about 3 weeks ago and told him "She doesn't know who she is. She needs to find herself." (That sounds so 70's!) So his life is changing. It took him totally by surprise too. He had no warning. Weird.

Our new furniture was delivered on Saturday.... almost. We ordered this stuff 11 weeks ago and when it finally came the large dresser was damaged and the bed rails were wrong. So they are replacing the dresser and had to take the bed back with them. Supposedly we will be getting the new bed next weekend. The dresser may be another 10-11 weeks.

Shouldn't furniture be something that is easy to get? It seems like we have never, ever had a delivery that wasn't damaged. When I move my whole house I don't have damage. That is without all that wrapping and packaging they have on the new stuff too. But alas, it is the American way now. Do things 2-3 times before it is finally right.

Sunday was fun. I actually decided that my basement room needed a good cleaning. (I'm so domestic... every 6 months.) What was fun was that the vacuum got part of the carpet wrapped around the brush thingy and burned the belt up. Boy did that stink! It didn't do the carpet much good either. But I got to take the vacuum apart and replace all the stuff that burned up. That was neat. I've never taken one apart. But now I'm an expert.

So as you can tell, my weekend was basically Blah! But I think I needed a weekend off. I've been running around way too much lately. The rest was good. The old batteries needed a recharge.

Today should be a non-event filled day. I'm hoping so. Tomorrow I'm headed south to pick up Peachy and she and I are hanging for the day. Meeting up with old work friends (Spacebrain included) and then seeing what mischief we can get into. I am soooo looking forward to seeing her. It's been too long of a break. We'll post pics I'm sure. Stay tuned later in the week.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Morning Observation

Know what I hate? Rude fat-ass people who walk real slowly down the middle of the hallway and won't let you get past. Then I am trudging along behind them listening to their retarded conversation as I am stuck watching their jiggling, flabby buns. That's what I hate.

And in the group is the same dork who trapped me this way earlier in the week with a similar group. Plus he was still expounding on his brilliant musical knowledge just like before. Hey pal... I know they kicked you out of the band for being a poser. (He said he could play but never could.) I know the truth about your sorry ass.... now get out of my way!!!

How's your day going so far? :)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Today's Daily Observation

Nothing excites a department of women like a scheduled "Sex Toy Party".

I wanted to go but they won't let me. It's a women only party.

They did say I can place an order from the catalog though.

I think they missed the point. ;)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I Voted For Me!

I just had the best time voting ever! Plus, I voted for the very best candidate ever.... me! Here's the scoop:

I planned on not voting at all since I haven't been following politics here. I moved back to this state last year and just never bothered. So I planned on skipping it all.

But I decided not to. I had an idea. I went to my polling place and there before my eyes was exactly what I knew would be there. In front of the place was the inevitable 10,572 political signs in every piece of ground that could hold one. Just what I was looking for. Now all I needed was an audience. I was really hoping for a news person too.

I stood there for a while just looking at all the signs. I checked them out as if I was shopping in a department store. I carefully (and as obviously as I could) perused the signs, shopping for someone to vote for, waiting for someone, anyone to say something. It took a long time.

The first person to say something was one of those 'candidate helpers' that hang around outside trying to get a last bit of influence on you as you enter the polls. She looked like an old retired school teacher. She came up to me and asked if I had someone in mind to vote for. So I told her "Not yet. I still have a few more signs to look at before I decide". She looked very confused. Then she started her spiel about her candidate. Part way through I stopped her and said "Please don't try to influence me. When I see the sign I like then I'll know who to vote for." Now she looked very confused.

Helper: "You mean you are going to vote for someone because of a sign?"
YB: "Yep."
Helper: Don't you think you should know the person you are voting for better than that?"
YB: "Seems to me that picking the coolest sign is a good way to choose."
Helper: "You can't be serious."
YB: "Isn't that why they are here? To help you decide who to vote for?"
Helper: "Well yes, in a way.........."
YB: "Good. Thanks then. I'll let you know when I decide."

She walked away shaking her head. I went back to shopping. I got to have the same conversation 3 more times. I really wanted to have a reporter show up and put me into the news. I could have started a whole new campaign scheme. Can you imagine the amount and size of the signs that would show up at the next election if they thought more people did what I was doing? We'd never see the end of them all.

But no reporter. *sigh*

I was also disappointed with the lame 'art work' on the various signs. So I went inside and voted for myself. 2 reasons: One was because I didn't know any of the candidates and the second was that I know for sure if I were to run for something, my sign would be the best one ever. Everyone would change their minds and vote my way once they saw my sign at the door. I voted for the best candidate available to me tonight. Me.

Important Ethical Question Of The Moment

In keeping with the latest trend of blogger world awareness I thought we should discuss this important issue.

Are we too cruel to KFC chickens? Can they be bred, fed, grown to plump juicy, delightfully round proportions and then slaughtered in a more humane way? Pam Anderson thinks so. Do we?

Check out this link.

Pam Anderson KFC Exposé

If Pam Anderson says it is bad, well, it must be. How can she be wrong? Just look and see her credentials:

Not too many others know about breasts any better than she would. The legs too. I mean, anyone who would strip naked in public for their cause has to have some credibility, right? (Now, don't think I am against stripping. Au contraire mon frair , I love that idea! Wish I had been there for that.)

So what does the blog world think? Should we just stop eating delicious KFC chicken and join the ranks of the mentally unstable PETA people? Or should we just keep on keepin on and enjoy what God has given us?


Monday, November 06, 2006

Today's Daily Observation

How come people can't say "height"? Around here it's always "heighth".

Along those lines, a lot of people say "WalMarts" or KMarts". There is no "s" on the end. A lot of them say "mines" too as in "That car is mines". It's "mine" or did you have different grammar classes than I did?

I'd also like to smack the next person who says, "Wit chu..." and not "with you".

It's "creek", not "crick". It's "scratching an itch" not "Itching an itch". It's "turning on a light" not "cutting it on". Cutting usually means off, stopping, eliminating.

English is the language around here but most of the time you just can't tell.

Stupid asses.

Oh... and there is no such word as "irregardless". Look it up.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Daily Observations

WalMart greeters are scary.

One of them greeted us last night and I remember thinking, "She seems a little too friendly." She was kinda heavy and had caked on some of the worst makeup I had ever seen. She wore this way-to-short for her girth mini-skirt that when she turned away from us I could see how it rode up between her legs, revealing lots of leg cheese. It wasn't Halloween so I don't think it was costume.

Then on the way out I saw she was still there. As we passed she smiled and said goodbye and I saw she had almost no teeth. One front one was all black and yellow and the other was only a sliver. There didn't seem to be any more either. Then she winked at me.

I choked back a little bile and left.

WalMart greeters are scary.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Something To Compare It To

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what life was like when I was younger compared to what it is now. More specifically, what it was like to experience something for the first time. How fun and exciting it seemed. Have you ever noticed that the first time for things has a certain zing that never can be repeated? It's true. The second and 10th times all could be great but after the first time, things are never quite the same.

I remember my first kiss. I remember thinking it was the most exciting thing ever. I thought that nothing would ever top that experience. But later in life, after a few more kisses, I realized it was actually the moment that was awesome. Not the quality that made it so great. The quality has gotten better with practice. But nothing compares to that first kiss in terms of excitement.

I remember my first sexual experience. It seemed like the best thing ever to happen. But these days it seems a little lame and even almost gross if I think of it in terms of just a pure sexual act. But back then I thought it was the best. That nothing could ever top it. It's a fond memory but it has been improved upon since. But that moment in time will never change. Nothing will ever take away that excitment. But now I have other memories to compare it to.

It's the same with almost everything. When you have nothing to compare an experience to you believe that the first time is the best ever. The first taste of ice cream, the first roll in the snow, the first love of your life. They all seem to be the best.

Then later you experience things again and you have a reference and you can decide if it was that great or if it was just the moment. Never forgetting the moment but seeing it with more experience is totally different.

These days I am reminded of a lot of moments like that. I have a friend who is a bit younger than me and I have found that I enjoy being with her and watching her reactions to everything. Her reactions remind me of my first time with the same experiences and how I felt then. How I feel now. I see her and I think that someday she will remember this moment and compare it to the most recent time she experiences the same thing. My goal is to make sure her first time at whatever we share isn't something she wants to shrug off. That in 10 years she can look back and still smile. That she will remember the experience with fondness not with relief that she has learned better in her older years. Good goal.

The old saying "Youth is wasted on the young" is truthful if you see it as a statement and not something derogatory. It simply means that the first experience isn't always as good as the repeats. It just seems like it and the young don't have anything to compare it to. Eventually they will and they will remember the first time.

Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward. (Kierkegaard) I get that more and more these days.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Where Have I Been?

I don't know where I've been. I checked in last night and saw that I haven't posted since last Thursday. That sort of weirded me out. It seemed like it was more recent than that. Of course last night I didn't feel like posting either. Go figure.

So, updates on the way.........

On Friday morning I took the Jeep in for service. While I was there I saw this cool little Mercedes on the lot so I took a test drive. It was one of those supercharged smaller cars they make. A 2005. It was fun to drive. Killed a little time too since I was informed that the Jeep had a recall that I didn't know about and my appointment took an hour longer than planned.

Naturally after that morning I just couldn't hang at work so I popped in and left twice. Nothing really going on anyway. One of the trips was to get a Mrs. Potato Head for a sick co-worker. She went in to get her tonsils out on Friday morning. I told her on Thursday that the best part of getting my tonsils out (I was 5) was that I got ice cream and a Mr. Potato Head . I got the toy because I was so bummed about staying in the hospital. So I decided she needed a Mrs. Potato Head to cheer her up. :)

Lets see.... Oh, The Cardinals won the World Series. That was cool. Afetr the Kenny Rogers cheating incident I was hoping that the Cards would stomp all over them. Turns out they did. Thanks guys!

I fell asleep watching the game though. We had friends over for Thai that night and the wine knocked me out.

Saturday was fun. I had most of the day to myself. Doing whatever I felt like doing. I love days like that. Its dangerous to leave me to my own devices sometimes but I do know how to entertain myself.

I did manage to cook a great dinner that evening. I don't cook too often but when I do it's pretty darn good.

I got laid twice over the weekend. That is a new (recent) record for me.

I managed to see The Evil Dead finally. I know, it's an oldie but I never saw it all the wat through. It cracked me up! I love Bruce Campbell anyway so seeing his first big movie was fun. Now I need to see Evil Dead II.

Sunday was spent finishing up a honey-do list around the house. Then I decided to be artsy and get started on some cool painting designs for the house. I miss all the artwork I had at the old place. This time around I can't do cartoons. It needs to be classy. I have some cool ideas and designs ready. I'll post pics when they are done.

Oh yeah... I did see some Football. Mostly its backround noise for me and I don't pay a lot of attention to it. But the Giants won. (Yay Kat!) Pittsburgh lost again. What's up with them anyway? Whatever. It's just not Baseball so I don't really care too much.

So here we are, all caught up. I'm still surprised that I haven't been here since Thursday. Let's see how long until the next post.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Question Of The Day

Is it necessary to tip someone at a buffet place?

I mean, one of those people who seat you and sometimes bring you a drink and then say "There's the buffet." Then you don't see them again. They really don't do anything.

My friend and I had this discussion after going to the buffet today. We left a mini-tip but still can't decide what is right or wrong.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

True Art

I wanted to show off my newest artistic creation. I made this at dinner tonight. I call it "Lonely Trees On Lonely Mountain."

I always prefer art with good taste. :)


First thing this morning we got the news that our company has been sold. Sold to a huge billion dollar, worldwide company. The place is in a mild uproar. I'm not sure why since we all knew it was a possibility. I should say probability.

For anyone who hasn't been through one of these transitions it can be unnerving. But if things go the way it seems they will, we will end up much better off than before.

Not the upper management of course. They are always the first to go. But they get the golden parachutes and move on to bigger and better things.

So all day we are having employee info meetings. The place should be crazy all day. I think it should be a fun time. Somehow I'm not nervous at all. Maybe I like being bought as a commodity. I feel special. ;)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Maybe I'm Confused.....

I've seen this sign at the local KFC for several days now. It says "New Famous Bowls". I keep looking at that sign and wondering about it.

How can something be new but also be famous? If it's famous that makes one think it has been around a while. At least long enough to be famous. Which means it can't be new anymore. Right?

I feel a little confused about this. But maybe it's just me.

Geeky Afternoon

I'd like to say that my weekend was so amazingly exciting that I just can't tell you everything. I'd like to say that but I can't. The weekend was cool, just not too exciting.

I visited with a friend Saturday afternoon. She always keeps me entertained. We hung out and then had lunch at this weird Asian type place. It was good but the place was like an old diner. Yeah, a diner that served Thai. Weird.

I did play poker with the guys on Saturday evening. I was losing badly until we played Acey-Deucey. I was losing worse then. Until I caught a break and won the huge pot. That made me pretty much even for the night. Not bad.

Sunday was weird. Yardwork in the A.M. It was supposed to rain but never did. Then later my Mom of all people stopped in to say hi. It's been months since I've seen her. She and my Aunt were out shopping and decided to stop in. Yay me. :P The visit lasted about 2 hours but seemed like maybe 12.

Afterward I decided to unwind with a nice game of Civilization II. I have all the versions but I like the second one best. I worked on conquering the world while Football was on. Unlike most of my guy friends and a select few of my women friends, Football just doesn't capture my attention. Its just a filler between Baseball seasons for me. I do follow what happens but it isn't like the Yankees are on or anything. So when Football is on it stays in the background for me.

If you know me you know my attention span. It's kinda child-like so I started scanning channels to see if any movies are on. Movies capture my attention unlike most other things. I had options too. I could watch Shopgirl (which KB says sucks), Herbie Fully Loaded or a Vampire thing on Sci-Fi. I switched to Sci-Fi and knew right away I had seen that one. Basically it was crappy so I chose the Herbie movie. I will confess something here; I had seen that too. 4 times. But I like it and I like Lindsey Lohan so I watched it again.

What? I have a weakness for red heads and .... never mind.

Luckily Baseball was soon on and that killed the remainder of the afternoon/evening. Not much excitement going on this weekend. A total geeky Sunday afternoon. But it was nice.

Now it's time for work again. Another "Yay me" is in order, I think.

Happy Monday.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

I Don't Get It

I got one of those timer things that you have to get when your coffee pot doesn't have it's own timer. You program it and then plug it into the power outlet. Then you plug the coffee pot into it and when it's time it allows the power to come on.

What I don't get is that it works on batteries. The timer is plugged into the power outlet but it works on batteries.

Doesn't that just sound dumb?

Seems like if it is plugged into the house power it should work on that power.

But it doesn't.

I don't get it.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Lesbians and Babies

There are some things in this world I just can't take. Some things that gross me out so much it irritates me. Today one of those things happened.

One of the women that works here brought in her baby. For whatever reason about an hour ago I walked through the lunchroom into this small crowd of babbling, goofy acting women passing this little kid around. They were acting as if they had never seen one before.

I just watched for a minute and wondered. They really bugged me acting like idiots.

Then this guy came in and started being a dork too. Grabbing the kid and lifting him way up in the air. Talking baby talk. Thats when I left. He was the worst.

Scenes like that really gross me out. Why? I dunno. They just do.

So tonight I am having dinner with my lesbian friends. We are headed out to a steak house to have some good food, commiserate about the Yankees and generally unwind. They are a cool couple. One good thing for sure is that I will never have to worry about a scene like the aforementioned from them. They have nieces and nephews that visit a lot but they don't act all retarded when they see them.

I wonder if a gay couple that has kids ever acts totally annoying about them too? Maybe I should ask.

I still don't get why people bring their toddlers in to work anyway. It's like showing off a new car or something. "Look coworkers. Heres the latest model. I made him this year!"

Yeah, it's probably something like that.

Yellowtail Sucks

I took a friends advice and tried Yellowtail Shiraz last night. What a mistake that was! I eagerly opened the bottle, let it air just a bit and then gave it a taste. Immediately I thought I'd throw up on the spot. It was worse than nasty.

So what did I do? I waited a little while and tried again. I'm like that. Can't just give up on something without giving it the full-out college try. But it just got worse. Sometimes when a wine is not great and it airs a little it will get better. This one didn't. It just got nastier. Like rotten vinegar. (Does vinegar get rotten?)

The worst part? It made my stomach feel bad. Kinda burning and nauseated.

So it wasn't a wine for me. I was so looking forward to it too. But I won't be turned off to Yellotail in general. I will try another one. Just not that Shiraz stuff.

Anyone else have a good wine recommendation? After this experience, I'm not afraid to try anything.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Last Question From TMI Tuesday

Summer got in one last question for me. Funny how everyone who asked something (except Peachy) doesn't have a place for me to ask them something.)

Summer asked two things actually: "If you could switch jobs tomorrow and do anything you wanted (as long as it didn't involve sports), what would it be?"

I can think of two things I'd love to do. I would love to have my own shop. A place that would specialize in local artists as well as carry the classics. I have a passion for the classics, Monet being my fave along with John Singer Sargent. But there should be a place where unknowns can show their talent and make some money too. Maybe get discovered.

The place would have an area where live music could be played on special nights. Maybe a small stage complete with bar (of course). Not a nasty place. A decent place.

It would have a 60's style coffee shop in the basement and there could be cool happenings scheduled there like the beatniks did way back when. Besides, how can you not have good coffee?

The other thing I'd like to do would be own and operate a high class Bunny Ranch in Vegas. :)

Summer also asked: *I bet you thought I was going to ask something else, didn't ya?*

I did think you would ask something different Summer. You missed a good opportunity. I was willing to answer anything. ;)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Two Questions So Far

I've gotten only two questions so far for TMI Tuesday. Ok, and some chickens commented that are afraid to play. (Meritt & Yoj) But why? Would I ask naughty questions of you? ;)

Spacebrain asked this: Did you ever wonder why?

Answer: Buddy, I wonder why all the time. I wonder why I'm here. Why you're there. Why crappy songs stick in my head even when I want to forget them. Why some women look prettier than others. Why the Yankees couldn't hit during the post season. Why birds don't poop bomb cats they see as they fly. Why my mind wanders even when I'm in a meeting with the President. Why anyone likes rap music. Why red wine sucks so much. Why flushing a toilet works without stuff flying back atcha. Why people have kids but never seem happy when they are out with them. Why the place you work is still open. Why I never remember a name unless I hear it 100 times first. Why someone actually wrote the book of love since its full of crap anyway.

I wonder a lot more things too. Mostly I wonder why you asked that question. :)

Peachy asked: Are you dressing up for Halloween this year?

Answer: Peachy, I think I'm dressing down this year. Maybe a pro wrassler in those skimpy tights. (I'll have to stuff the front like they do too.)

For work I'm going disguised as someone who really loves being there. Just for that day I think I can do it. :)

TMI Tuesday

Lets have some fun today, shall we? Lets play a game we'll call "Too Much Information Tuesday". Heres how it works:

Ask me a question. I will answer it as honestly as I can (or will). But I will answer it. It may be a story. It may be a sentence. It may be a one word answer. But it will be answered.

The catch is that not only do you get an answer you may or may not like but if you ask a question you get a question in return. You have to answer it.

Anyone asking a question will get a question. So if no one asks today I will know you are all too chicken to have me ask something of you. Anyone game?

Monday, October 16, 2006

Sexy Ugly

I actually talked to my sexy-ugly crush this weekend. It was a chance meeting so I sort of forced the issue. It turned out to be rather pleasant.

For those of you who don't remember what sexy-ugly is, it's a term I got from the movie "Kissing Jessica Stein". Jess and Helen were talking about people they found attractive even though they weren't really physically attractive. Like Mick Jagger. They are sexy but not pretty. Sexy-Ugly. :)

So when Lisa and I were talking about the movie we both laughed about that scene. Then we compared notes about people we thought were sexy-ugly. I mentioned a person who we both know from work who I have always had this strange kinda crush on even though she isn't very attractive at all. There is just something about her. Thats who I ran into this weekend.

I was at Lowe's Saturday walking down the main aisle and I saw her walking toward me. My first thought was, "What is she doing way up here?" My hometown isn't all that close to work. As she approached she looked up and smiled so I stopped and started a conversation. She recognized me from work too so it wasn't so hard. Turns out she had moved nearby a few years ago. She loves the area. Shes the outdoorsey type and lives near the Applachian Trail so it's perfect for her. We talked for a while. It was pleasant to see that she was kind of cool. You never know. She could have been sexy-ugly and a goober. But she's not.

So now I can say hey to her when I see her these days. That will be a nice change. But now I wonder if I will still have the same fascination with her. Sometimes knowing a person changes the interest level. Maybe the fantasy is the thing? I doubt it but you never know. We'll see I guess.

Anyone else have an example of someone they think is sexy-ugly?

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Gotta Wonder Sometimes

Today I was waiting at an intersection in a left turn lane for traffic to break. There was a lot of traffic going both ways. I noticed a family on one side of the street waiting to cross. A Mom, Dad and 3 kids, one in a stroller. I knew they would be waiting a while. The Father seemed to know that too. He stood there beating on that crosswalk button that never works trying to get the walk light to turn on. I thought he was trying to pound it into the pole the way he was hitting it.

After a while I saw him grab one of the boys shoulders and push him toward the street. He kept prodding the kid like he wanted him to cross the street. I thought "WTF is that all about?" That's when the kid quickly hopped off the curb and ran through traffic to cross.

I just about freaked because I was sure he would get hit. He didn't but it was close.

Then I saw the Father yelling at him and the kid went to the crosswalk button on the other side and leaned on it, just holding it down.

Apparently the Father figured that pressing both buttons would make the crosswalk light work. It didn't. The lights changed and they had to wait a little longer for traffic. Then it changed and the left lanes got those arrows things so I went. They were still waiting but as I went by I heard the guy yelling for the boy to come back across to them. ???

What a dumbass! He made that kid run through traffic for nothing. I wanted to stop, get out, walk up to him and slap him hard in the back of the head. What a freaking retarded thing to do.

I didn't see if the kid came back across or not. I didn't hear any sirens so I guess that kid did OK. Still, how impatient can a person be to risk injury to their own child?

There sure are some morons out there.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

My Life

"What are you looking at?"
YB- "Look at the grass. It's all frosty. But only on top. It looks like crystal with the sunshine glazing over it. Isn't it beautiful?"
"Huh. Just a reminder that Winter is coming and everything will be dead soon."

YB- "What are we doing this weekend? Let's blow off to that cool Bed N Breakfast just for the heck of it. The one near the Gardens."
"What for? There's nothing we can do there that we can't do here."

YB- "What are those for?"
"I got new door knobs for the entire house."
YB- "What!? Don't you realize these are the original brass knobs from when the place was built? They are true antiques, over 50 years old. You can't get these anywhere anymore!"
"Whatever. I want new ones."

YB- "Check out this new song I'm writing. Its actually starting to sound good."
"Oh, so thats what you've been wasting your evening on. I wondered where you were."

YB- "Which wine shall we try tonight?"
YB- "Yeah. I think we should try the new one... the Yellowtail. It was highly recommended."
"Why wine tonight?"
YB- "It's cold outside. It's a good night to build a fire and sit in front of it with a good wine. Just hang out."
"A fire tonight? I don't think so. I don't want to smell that tonight."


Friday, October 13, 2006

Daily Decisions

Today I made one of those decisions that you make just to get by. I made the decision not to feel bad anymore. So I don't. It's a mind over matter thing. Today I will be OK.

Think it'll work? I'm hoping.

A lot has happened since I've been out of it. Being in la la land on Wednesday I didn't realize that the plane crash in New York took the life of Cory Lidle. I was surprised to hear all the hoopla last night about his "limited flight experience" and "should he or shouldn't he have been flying where he was" etc... For craps sake people! His wife and kid just lost someone dear to them. Seems to me there are more important issues than who or what to blame on the crash. Sometimes I think the media are trained in heartlessness. Perhaps when they graduate media school they have their hearts and consciences removed.

RIP Cory. I feel for your family.

Other news I've missed... hmmm, I see that crazy guy in Korea is acting up again. I think he wants a war for some reason. Paris Hilton is still in the news for her DUI. How fascinating. *yawn* The Mets won. Good deal. A New York team should be in the Series. The stock market is still on speed. I knew I should have spent some money there this past year.

OK, maybe I really haven't missed much after all. :)

So yesterday I came in to work because I had an important project to do. I wasn't feeling up to it but it had to get done. That was one of those daily decisions for yesterday. While I worked I kept ignoring how I felt. We got everything done. It was a longer day than expected but we got done anyway. Today I feel wrung out. I think it took a lot out of me. But I am feeling better. Just tired. I think I'm well on my way back. But now I think today probably shouldn't be a full day. What do you think?

Thanks. i hoped you would say that.

So theres my mindless chatter for the morning. I'm feeling goofy but Ok. Now I need to catch up on the important stuff. (Blogs) That's a good daily decision to make.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Pardon The Interruption

I've been sick. Too sick to blog. Too sick to work too (but that was a good thing).

I shall return.....

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Safety Gurus

I believe in the whole 'Safety First!' idea. I really do. Especially in the workplace. But I also believe that having a full time safety department is a weird thing.

It's one of those groups that always have to insert themselves into every scenario. They are the "What if?" people. The "You need to..." people. They are constantly trying to justify their existance.

They can drive you crazy.

This week the safety manager at work decided it will be 'Drive Safe To Work Week'. I haven't heard of any special thing nationwide so it seems we are trying to be a trendsetter maybe? There are these signs stuck everywhere in the company. Every hall, every door. You can't escape them.

Here are a few examples:

An automobile's best performance investment is its driver.

Move over and stop. That ambulance may be carrying someone you know.

Pedestrians have the right of way even when they are wrong.

Unless you are a race car driver driving isn't a competative sport.

This is my personal fave:

How well would you work with someone speeding by your desk at 60 m.p.h.?

(I really don't get that one.)

Having a safety committee is a fine thing. Having a safety department is a little over the top. No matter what you do anymore they are in your face. Its probably because of all the jerks who like to sue everyone for their own stupidity.

I even met a guy once who went to college and graduated with a degree in safety. Now he was a strange fellow, lemme tell ya! How does a person decide to go to school and major in safety?

So this week we are all learning to be better drivers. Safer drivers. Thanks to the cool signs all over the buildings. Personally, I think if someone could cruise by my desk at 60 m.p.h. I'd have to give them kudos. After they stopped of course. ;)

"Thanks safety gurus for making me a better driver. I feel safer already."

Monday, October 09, 2006

Monday Morning Stuff

I feel like I should have a lot to talk about this morning. I feel like it but somehow I don't.

I could talk about how the Yankees stunk it up in Detroit this past week. But I choose not to. One thing I will say is that it is exceptionally difficult to pull for your team for 7-8 months and then watch them implode like that. Its tough living and dying every game, every pitch sometimes, up & downs the whole season just to have it all gone without a fight. Probably the best lineup ever assembled and they couldn't score at all. I wonder if it would be easier if the team actually wasn't as good as they are?

Ah well, they did have a good season.

I'm feeling a little blah today. Like I'm starting to feel sick. You know how that works, the initial warning signs hitting you and you know something is coming. Its not the being sick, its the anticipation. Knowing its coming is the worst.

Friday night I went to a happy hour with a bunch of people from work. I went to hang for a little while and then head home. Of course happy hours always turn into several happy hours. I left late. But it was a great time. There are many incidents I could tell about but I won't. You all know how happy hours can get crazy. This one was no exception. But the one highlight I will tell about was when I was introduced to the 'red-headed slut'.

Everyone knows how much I love red-heads and all so when my friend Lindsey told me she wanted me to meet a red-headed slut, well I just thought that was OK. :)

Turns out it was a drink. It was a good one too. It made me head feel a little funny. OK, I'm a lightweight so it made me feel a lot funny. That was the end for me. Nothing but cokes after that one. But it was worth it.

Played golf with the boys yesterday. I swear, that game was invented by the devil. One time out and I play well. Next time out you'd think I had never played before. If someone can explain that to me I'd appreciate it.

Tonight I go for my first guitar lesson in 19 years. I decided I need to get some help with practice habits and such. I am far more rusty than I originally thought when I started with the band. So going to lessons will help with getting into good practice habits as well as having extra work with the song list. Could be fun.

I saw this freaky movie on SciFi Saturday night. I love those low-budget movies. Sometimes they can be pretty good. This one surprised me. It was called "Rest Stop". It was about this woman who stops at a rest stop in the middle of nowhere. While in the can her boyfriend disappears. As it turns out this rest stop is the hunting ground for a demented redneck in a yellow pick-up. Apparently he has been torturing and killing for decades via stranding women at that rest stop. It was pretty good, to tell the truth. Not an Oscar winner but good for a cheap thrill.

OK, time for more coffee. Happy Monday to everyone. :)