I Voted For Me!

I just had the best time voting ever! Plus, I voted for the very best candidate ever.... me! Here's the scoop:

I planned on not voting at all since I haven't been following politics here. I moved back to this state last year and just never bothered. So I planned on skipping it all.

But I decided not to. I had an idea. I went to my polling place and there before my eyes was exactly what I knew would be there. In front of the place was the inevitable 10,572 political signs in every piece of ground that could hold one. Just what I was looking for. Now all I needed was an audience. I was really hoping for a news person too.

I stood there for a while just looking at all the signs. I checked them out as if I was shopping in a department store. I carefully (and as obviously as I could) perused the signs, shopping for someone to vote for, waiting for someone, anyone to say something. It took a long time.

The first person to say something was one of those 'candidate helpers' that hang around outside trying to get a last bit of influence on you as you enter the polls. She looked like an old retired school teacher. She came up to me and asked if I had someone in mind to vote for. So I told her "Not yet. I still have a few more signs to look at before I decide". She looked very confused. Then she started her spiel about her candidate. Part way through I stopped her and said "Please don't try to influence me. When I see the sign I like then I'll know who to vote for." Now she looked very confused.

Helper: "You mean you are going to vote for someone because of a sign?"
YB: "Yep."
Helper: Don't you think you should know the person you are voting for better than that?"
YB: "Seems to me that picking the coolest sign is a good way to choose."
Helper: "You can't be serious."
YB: "Isn't that why they are here? To help you decide who to vote for?"
Helper: "Well yes, in a way.........."
YB: "Good. Thanks then. I'll let you know when I decide."

She walked away shaking her head. I went back to shopping. I got to have the same conversation 3 more times. I really wanted to have a reporter show up and put me into the news. I could have started a whole new campaign scheme. Can you imagine the amount and size of the signs that would show up at the next election if they thought more people did what I was doing? We'd never see the end of them all.

But no reporter. *sigh*

I was also disappointed with the lame 'art work' on the various signs. So I went inside and voted for myself. 2 reasons: One was because I didn't know any of the candidates and the second was that I know for sure if I were to run for something, my sign would be the best one ever. Everyone would change their minds and vote my way once they saw my sign at the door. I voted for the best candidate available to me tonight. Me.