Thursday, May 31, 2007

Watch Him Walk

I was walking down the hallway when the gay guy from another department came out of a lab door. He smiled nicely and we said hey to one another. Then I kept going.

I could hear him walking behind me so I knew he was there. It made me start to wonder if gay guys check out other guys? When I am walking behind a woman I catch myself looking. Usually its the shoes I look at first. (That is the truth!) But then I check out other things. Not trying to be a sleaze or anything. Its just a natural thing people do.

Anyway, I was wondering if he was looking me over. I think that if it were me, I would be checking out the guy in front of me. If even for just a moment. But do gay guys do stuff like that? I think they must. But I have no idea.

I'll bet lesbians check out other women. Women check out other women all the time. Its fun to hang with Lisa and look people over.

Whatever. It made me walk a little funny thinking someone was watching me walk. I hate that part of walking in front of someone. :)

For Lisa

I don't like cliches. A lot of people say that too. But did you notice that we all live cliches? We talk in cliches? We are cliches. Think about it.

I gave it all up today.

Gave it to a girl with nothing more than a want.

Gave it to her without a thought or hesitation

I gave it all up today

now I'm left without.

But I dont feel too bad

or too empty.

Just a little of both.

I gave it to her and she smiled sweetly.

"Thank you" was all she said.

We try to be different but the truth is we all look for that routine, comfortable lifestyle. The one where we are safe. Where there are few surprises. No chance of getting into too much out of the ordinary. That is too scary. Its too unpredictable. It wrecks the smooth flow. We are cliches.

Old guy on the bench.

Sitting alone, remembering them.

Where did life go for you?

Did it make you feel good?

Did it make you feel ok now that you are alone?

Was it worth the risks you took?

You are here now and I want to know.

Know how to not be you.

Alone is lonely sometimes.

I think there are few who live an un-cliche life. I think the ones who do tend to be what we'd call weird. Maybe freaky. Nicely we say things like artsy, creative, out-there. Inside we say idiot, oddball, dork. The true adventurers are the ones who burn out quick. They leave us early. Then we say "I told you so." On the inside we admire them and wish we had a little oddball in us still. Outwardly, where people can see, we are the 'I told you so' groupies.

But they weren't cliches. They are what we wanted to be. But we are afraid of the inevitable. The whole dying young thing is scary. But is it a bad idea? To live the way you want to, enjoy all the moments you ever want to and then be done with it? Besides, not all die young. The ones who don't are the ones with the best stories to tell. I sorta think that beats the hell out of having moments pass us by, then regretting them.

The breeze blew by me.

I forgot to notice it.

It nudged me, cooled me, stroked me, begged me to acknowledge it.

I pretended it wasn't there.

It was unusual.

It was different and different is scary.

Different is not what is expected.

It was beautiful, exciting, exotic and alluring.

I wanted it but the fear made me hesitate.

Then I forgot.

Too long I forgot it.

Then it was gone.

And so was the moment.

Now I want it back.

One shot deals are just that, one shot.

Now I want it back.

I am a cliche too. I never wanted to be. I once wasn't. I got myself into a lot of turmoil over it. I never minded it then either. I never had a moment of hesitation then. Almost never a dull moment. Always an opportunity. Then I quit. I gave up. I succombed. Some days I wish I hadn't. Most days. They all run together now. Routine after routine after routine. Someone else wanting a piece of me. Someone after that wanting a piece. Then more routine after routine after routine. What I wouldn't give for that little breeze to blow by me again. Just one more time. One more chance to go for it.

I am a cliche.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Pigging Out Is Working Out

Nicci and I went out to the little cafe for dinner last night. In the booth behind us were three big women. I really mean BIG women when I say BIG. They were whoppers.

Since I was closest to them I could hear their conversations. Actually, I believe the whole restaurant could hear them but I got the best seat. Normally this isn't anything to blog about but this time is different. They talked constantly about diets and weight. Constantly.

They complained about their weight as they sucked down giant portions of breaded shrimp. They talked about dress sizes, 14-16-18, as they slammed down huge piles of fries. They cried about the waitress being slow to refill their Pepsi glasses for the third time. They claimed to be walking every night to get exercise as they ordered double chocolate fudge and whipped cream on their dessert ice cream sundaes.

It was hilarious. Maybe thats a new exercise, pigging out.

Makes you wonder doesn't it? Who do they think they are fooling? No one in the restaurant, thats for sure.

I got bored with the limited choice of Baseball games on last night (one lame choice only) so I decided to try the online game I've been playing off and on. My character is a female. A hottie for sure, but they all are. The artists do a good job of drawing the characters. So some dork starts flirting with her/me. I think he assumed I was female since my Warrior is too. He was asking me all kinds of sexual things. He started telling me he'd like to meet up and do naughty things to me. I asked him several times if he realized that it was a game and that it was a strong possibility that I wasn't a woman. He just wouldn't quit. So I blocked him from communicating with me/my girl. Freak.

What kind of loser uses an online game to try and get laid? Probably the same kind that uses blogging. I think the gamer is worse though. Wait! Maybe they are the same? Oooh.

Today I get to do my first personal evaluation. I forgot about those things. At the last job we never did any of them. I don't think I like them. More importantly, I can't believe I have been here a year already. Time really does fly.

Speaking of flying...............

New Poll + Old Poll(s) Results

I finally got around to doing a new Poll. These two have been around a while. Looks like we, as a small group, are capable of having a fling but the second Poll shows that we are pretty evenly split about the moral issue of it. Strange. Typical American attitude though. We can do anything but we like to feel bad about it later. LOL

Could you have a sexual fling without letting it interfere with your 'real' life?
Absolutely. It's just for fun. 18% 2
No, never. I couldn't even think about it. 18% 2
Maybe, if the circumstances were right. 9% 1
Yes, I already have and it was fun. 36% 4
Yes, I have but it wasn't fun so I won't bother again. 0% 0
People who do that suck! 18% 2

11 votes total

Do Americans overeact to infidelity?
No, it's wrong any way you look at it. 55% 6
Yes, it's just sex for fun. 36% 4
Maybe. I'm not sure. 9% 1

11 votes total

Side note: Remember the days when a Poll got about 50ish votes? I do.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Happy Birthday To Me

I just want to take a moment and say thanks to all the friends out there who wished ma a happy birthday. All one of you.

Thanks Peachy! :)

No, I didn't remind anyone so I didn't expect any birthday wishes. But I do expect all my blog friends to remember from one year to the next the happy day. Cmon! How can you forget? lol

But seriously, it was my birthday this past weekend. Sunday to be specific. The whole weekend was a blast. Except Monday morning. But otherwise it was great. I was away having big fun so I missed all the shenanigans of my blog friends over the weekend. I'll be doing some catching-up today.

I found the coolest things this weekend! I hate to shop for me at any time but I heard about a special pair of Reeboks that I had to investigate. They are an MLB special and they have the Yankee emblem on the side. The best thing was that when I found them they were on sale. Buy one get the second for half price. So I bought both styles. :P Now I'm set for a long time.

I really do hate shopping for me. It bores me to no end. But I love to shop for a woman. Its fun to me to dress them up and all that. (Some of you probably remember my Victoria's Secret rule, right?) Shopping for myself just bites. I get all grumpy and impatient. So it's a good thing the Yankee stuff was so easy to find.

Anyway, I'm one year older (officially) and it passed mostly uneventfully. I got some cool Yankee stuff, had 2 miniparties, did some travelling, had sex and generally had an awesome weekend. Now I'm going to check around and see whats been happening while I was away.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Tied Up

Very busy morning for me. I'll be tied up at least until lunch time (not the good kind of tied up either). So all of my lovely blog friends will have to wait until then for more wit, wisdom and action packed adventures from me.

Yeah, I know. You are all anticipating it so much. Calm down. I'll be back soon.


Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Smile For Me

The most beautiful woman in the world works here.

OK, that may not be the truth but there is a woman who works here that is pretty darn close to the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She may be exactly that but I just don't remember all the women I've ever met so I can't say that with all honesty.

Anyway, she was in my area today. This is a rare thing. I do see her about 2 times a week when I go to the building where she works. I like seeing her (for the obvious reasons I stated above) but the thing I've noticed is that she never smiles. As a matter of fact, she always looks very intense. Not grumpy. Not mean nor annoyed nor stuck up. Just intense. Icy, focused and totally intense.

I noticed that again today and I had the urge to tell her my observation. I wanted to walk up to her and say, "Hey, you know something? You are probably the most attractive woman I've ever met but you always look so intense. What gives?"

But just as soon as the urge hit me I envisioned her smacking me hard in the side of the head, kicking me in the groin and then spitting on me as she walked away. Then I envisioned her saying as she exited the room where she just trashed yours truly, "That’s what gives butthead. Any more questions?"

Then I look up and she is smiling.

It's a really nice smile but in my mind, it wasn't worth the pain to see it.

So I think I'll wait for something other than my abused, crushed form lying on the floor at her feet to make her smile.

Blah Blah Blah

Did you ever notice how people like to repeat themselves? When someone is talking and they make a point, they usually repeat it. Sometimes more than once. It's a weird thing. I think I do it too. Lately I have noticed it a lot. Many conversations consist of repeated sentences. Several ideas/thoughts/opinions repeated more than once.

Oh well. Repetition is the best way to remember something.

Last night I was bored. Bored, bored, bored. (See how I repeat myself?) No good Baseball was on. No good movies. I decided to log in and check out the WoW game but it was one of those update nights. One patch only 276mb but it took over 5 hours to download. Isn't that odd? My computer should be able to download t a 276mb patch in a minute (or less) but not with the WoW game. It takes forever.

Anyway, I was waiting for a friend to call during the boredom time. (That was going to be my original point here.) She has tried to call me several times this week but I haven't been able to answer. I've been away or busy or just didn't have my phone on. Now last night I have nothing going on and she can't call me. Ironic, isn't it? lol

I'm kinda blah today. Don't really feel like doing much. All I really feel like doing is jumping into some work and getting the day done. I'm gonna find something to do that will kill the time so the day will fly by. Busy is best for these kind of moods.

Some dope in Engineering scheduled a meeting from 9:00 until 1:00 today. When I saw him yesterday and he asked me if I'd be there I just laughed at him. Yeah, I'll be wasting my whole day sitting a talking and not getting anything done. Sure, that sounds like a plan.

I think they can handle the meeting stuff without me. I bet the highlights could be summarized in about 2 sentences anyway.

The Yankees lost again last night. *sigh* I know they will get better but this stretch is a bummer. Too many hurt pitchers. They have started (as of the weekend) 21 games with rookie pitchers. How odd. The last 2 rookies that started got knocked out of the game early. Literally knocked out. Hit by line drives. One got a broken bone in his leg for it and one got a broken finger. The finger guy only pitched to one hitter too.

Imagine getting called up to the big leagues for your first start. Your life-long dream come true. Then imagine the first batter you pitch too hitting the ball right at you and breaking your finger, knocking you out of action for 3 months. 3 whole months because the finger needs surgery. Unreal.

I'd cry. A little maybe? In private. :)

Hope my Jersey Girl is in better spirits than I am this morning. It's nice to get a lift from friends every once in a while. But she has a lot to be happy about these days so I'm sure she will be fun, as always.

K, time for coffee. Gotta get moving so the day ends fast.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Ring Around The Collar

I was thinking about a lot of stuff this morning. Some of it I thought "Hey, I should write that on the blog." But of course I forgot it all. Typical of me. I like to say that if I still had hair I'd be a blonde. I think thats the truth.

Do blondes get offended by blonde jokes?

I was thinking earlier that I like the way my blog is going these days. I just sit down and write whatever comes to mind (when I have the opportunity). I think thats why I started one in the first place. That ideal sure got lost in the shuffle for a while. I mentioned that to Lisa once recently, about how I don't like the way blogging has ended up for me. All pre-thought out and all. All concerned about what blog friends would think. She said it was weird to hear that from me since I never cared at all for what others thought about me or what I said. Sorta struck a chord with me. I realized that she was right (as always when it comes to me) and that I needed to just write what I felt like. Or quit. I'm not quitting.

I mentioned the other day about the cool Tace Bell Chihuahua commercials that I miss. I also miss the goofy "ring-around-the-collar" ones too. Remember those? I think it was for Wisk. But they made no sense at all and I always laughed. I remember this one where a guy had been busy making dinner for his girl. When she got there he was all excited and was telling her the whole menu that she was just in time for. He was saying, "You are just in time for my Chicken L'Orange, my veggies... etc..." and she interrupted him and said, "and your ring around the collar." Ha ha!

Now there is a mood breaker. I always thought that the dinner after that probably didn't go well. The romance was gone for sure. Poor guy, slaves away and all he gets is an insult about his laundry.

You never hear about ring around the collar anymore. Have we conquered that problem with the modern laundry methodology? Must have.

Today I get to go and help the people in the production area. They are behind and have a heavy schedule. I love days like this. Its why I volunteer. I don't have to think too much, don't have to schmooze anyone. I just have to keep busy. The day flies by. Thats a good thing.

The Jersey Girl just left my office. She comes by every morning for coffe and catching up. We work on a few projects together and we talk shop then. Coffee time is for other, more important stuff. :) Its our routine. Funny how certain routines are so improtant sometimes. When we don't have the time for morning coffee, the day just isn't the same. Now today will be pretty OK I think. At least the early part.

I started this post 1.5 hours ago. The interruptions and work stuff keeps getting in the way. Time sure does fly by.

Monday, May 21, 2007

I'm Steak Tartar

Remember this creepy guy from Sin City?

He works with us now.

I just saw him in the hallway and if it's not the same guy, I am surprised. The guy looks so much like Kevin that it really creeped me out.

It didn't help that he kept staring at me as I walked past. I started wondering if I looked tasty to him or something. Maybe I looked like a pork chop or something.

Nah, I probably looked like steak tartar to him. Thats more his speed I think.


Yo Quiero Taco Bell

I need Taco Bell. Today I will be going to Taco Bell for lunch. Thats all there is to it. Its the one trip I make when I'm annoyed and frustrated. Going there makes me happy.

Funny thing about me, food makes me happy. When things aren't quite right with the world, food can make the smile come back. Thats a sign of getting old, I think. In younger days it was hooking up with the friends. Or sex. lol

Today I'm wondering how long I can make it here at work. I realized last week that I am frustrated more and more every day. I love being back. Love the group I am with. But the system for getting things done sucks. It is inefficient, sluggish, ineffectual and the people are mostly disinterested. I'm here to make a difference and I have, but going forward is like running a race in waist deep water. So much resistance.

But the people, resources is the cool catchphrase here, all talk a good game. They all put on the show of wanting things to improve, progress, become better. But after the big show in public they all go back to their comfy routines. They prefer to be left alone in their own little ways and not be bothered. They don't want things to be changed. They don't want their routines to be different.

But they know how to talk about being different.

I love the job. Love what I am supposed to do. I know a lot about it. Have lots of experience with a lot of it. But the parts I need to learn have to come from the posers. Those are the areas that are resistant. Those 'resources' are the slowest and least responsive. I think its mostly because they have been in the same place far too long. Routines are only good for production people. They need to reproduce their routines the same way everyday. Moving forward and making things better is not the place for "same old, same old", y'know?

So today I will take a long lunch and go to Taco Bell. Just the thought puts a smile on my face. I am like Andre Agassi. He once said "You can't beat someone too badly and you can never drive too far to get to Taco Bell."

Hey, remember the cool little chihuahua that used to be in Taco Bell commercials? I loved that guy. I have one too. He talks when you squeeze him. He says "Yo quiero Taco Bell". I wish he was still hanging around. :)

Anyway, everyone have fun this morning. I'm going to go and wade through some more crap before taking my much needed mental health lunch. I know this is normally the place for the weekend recap but this morning I'm a little bugged so....... maybe I'll make it back in a little while for all that jazz.

Happy Monday.

Friday, May 18, 2007

She's Got The Look

I saw the look. You know... "The look." I knew before anyone told me that the two I saw hanging together in the hallway were having private boinkings on the side. She is married but not to him. He wants her.

I know that look. If you've ever see anyone is that stage of a relationship where everything is new and exciting you'd know what I mean. Their face just changes dramatically. Totally lights up. The eyes get a little wider. The smile is genuine. The body posture changes. I knew when he staerted talking with her that they were an item.

Then her sister confirmed it. As a matter of fact she told me details she shouldn't have. Then she claimed that it disgusted her. So I asked why she didn't say anything to her sister's husband if it bothered her so much. She said she couldn't do that to her. But it disgusted her anyway.

I think she wished she had a fun buddy.

So once again I was right. I've called it right more than twice in my life. I think I've been guilty of the look a few times too. There is a certain way two people act when they are having some new adventurous fun together.

Too bad that look and the feeling with it is only temporary. I hope they enjoy it while it lasts.

HappyDayPeachy :)

Someone we all know (and adore) is having a Birthday tomorrow. I'll give you a hint... It's Peachy.

Nice hint eh?

Everyone go over there and wish her a Happy Birthday, k? I will soon. I just wish we had time to meet up so I could give her a real hug and smootch.

I guess I'll have to owe you Sweetie. Have a happy day. :)

If I Were King

Yesterday was a really rough day. But it wasn't a bad day. Does that make sense? It sounds twisted but thats me, twisted and usually confused. It started out with a problem that hasn't been fixed causing me to send hate emails to everyone. Not to everyone but to the dumbasses who ignore the problem altogether. But after all that stuff the day flew by. Very busy and then it was over. Suddenly I was home lazing around.

I remember thinking last night that I don't remember too much about the beginning of the day. That made me laugh.

Lisa and I had enough of it yesterday afternoon and we left early for the Tavern. Had some wine (and some whine) and that is probably why the afternoon seemed better. Lisa can make afternoons better. Wine can too. :)

I was thinking this morning how stupid diesel trucks are. They are stinky, noisy, fuel unefficient and the drivers believe they own the road. They sit in the left lane of the highway and just stay there. No matter if someone else is trying to pass, you know, in the PASSING LANE, they just stay there. Suffocating the drivers behind them with their noxious fumes. I'm not real sure why anyone buys those things. I am sure that they suck and should be banned. "Diesel anything, into the dump."

Ah, if I were King!

I read this thing last night written by a prominant black american writer about the New Orleans hurricane thing. He was saying how a few years ago the black population would have been the first ones to not only evacuate when the storm came but they would also have been the first ones to help others. But not anymore. He said the current black population is too lazy and wants everything handed to them and they just sat there and waited for the government to come and get them. Then they wanted to blame Bush for it all.

Thank the liberals for the welfare state I guess. They wanted to train the population to be solely dependent on them and thats what they got. Personally, I don't think it's worth a few extra votes every year if people can't rely on themselves and get killed.

Isn't it a weird world these days? No one wants to say "Hey, I guess I screwed up. Sorry." They all want to point fingers and blame everyone else for things. I always thought that blaming the President for the failures of his underlings was stupid. In a big corporation the President of the company doesn't get the shit if someone under them screws up. They get to fire the loser and find someone new. But politics being the chump game it is, everyone wants to blame the person they didn't support. Weird.

My partner at work, Amy, and I had a picture taken on the cruise Wednesday. One of those where you pose before boarding. She and I have worked closely for almost a year now getting the new area up and running. We are friends now. But one of the women in the group was freaked out about our pic. She went on and on about how thats something couples do. She asked Amy what her guy would think about it. She thought we had committed adultry right there in front of the camera. lol

Amy told her guy about it and he just laughed. Nicci thought it was a nice picture. Where the hyper-adulterer-cop-person is coming from I'm not too sure.

I wanted to call in sick every day this week. I think I'm burned out a little. But I'm lucky I didn't. Lisa is off next week so now I can plan a day off with her and not feel guilty. Here's to being too busy to be lazy and it working out right for a change.

Ok, enough of this. These days I don't know where this blog will go. In a year or so I'll look back and see what was up. Hope it is cool then.

Happy Friday.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Cruising The Day Away

How do women survive? For real, the whole hormone thing gets me sometimes. Nicci was on one again this morning. Not real bad but still, kinda bad. She explained it to me that the hormones kick in before 'that time of the month', then again when its going away. Seems like a raw deal to me.

I think women got the short end of the stick here. They have all that crap to worry with. Sometimes they don't even know its happening until they say/do something to someone they can't take back. Then the crying starts.

Blame it on Eve, I guess.

Guys aren't as bad. Even though we have periods too. Don't let the macho guys BS you. We have those few days a month that we have the mood swings and stuff. But guys don't do well with the womens hormone rushes until they start to realize that it's just that time. Then they can relax and know the storm will pass. The guys who don't ever figure that out are the ones who are alone a lot. :)

Today is our big team building cruise. I'm all relaxed and casual. My Hawaiian shirt, shorts and Reeboks. I've gotten a few comments from people at work wondering how I can come to work so casual so I tell them I renewed my contract and the dress code was taken out for me. I hope someone buys that story just once.

I think that after the last cruise experience we aren't allowed to drink anymore. That was a wild time. But even if we could I don't think it would matter today. The group is a good one but not too many are serious partiers. Mostly they are conservative lame-asses.

Not that theres anything wrong with that. lol

Isn't the term "partiers" a funny one? How did drinking to excess, getting rowdy and drunk become partying? I don't think I get that.

Anyway, everyone have agreat day at work. My job today is to kick back and enjoy the day. I think I can handle that assignment. Tough job but someone has to do it.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Joey Tribiani

I've noticed that my posts are getting kinda long lately. So for those of you with short attention spans:

"How you doin?"

The end.

What About Bob?

Today I really wanted to call in sick. I just didn't feel like coming to work. We've all been there. It felt like a day to kick back and enjoy. But I didn't call in. So you know how long this day will end up being.

I heard someone in that hallway answering a "hello, how are you?" with a "I hate mornings." It made me think about how much I don't like things like that. You know, the automatic responses people have to situations. For example, Monday mornings everyone you meet asks how your weekend was. Tuesdays everyone "wishes it was Friday". Wednesdays people all laugh about 'hump day'. Thursdays people all give you the exasperated "This week is so long! Is it Friday yet?" Then on Friday everyone says "TGIF!" We all have automatic responses. Even me. Yes, I know thats surprising but it is true. When someone asks how I am today I usually say "All right so far." Then I'm bugged because I spoke without thinking about it. Oh well, we are all human after all.

Some of us just don't always resemble a human all the time.

Which reminds me of another thought I had this morning. I was thinking that most laywers these days aren't really human anymore. I bet God is bummed that He invented laywers. Well, no. He's probably bummed at the way humans have bastardized the profession. Yeah, thats probably it. I think most of them won't be making it into Heaven. If any lawyers are reading this, my opinion is that you should consider a change of profession. Unless you are a natural sleaze in which case, stay the course and burn. :)

Nope, I have no idea where that all came from.

There's a salesguy coming in today to chat about a new project I'm working on. He has a generic name. Just like me. If you know me you know my name is very common. Face it, Bob isn't a rare name. Exciting and exotic and sexy, yes. Rare, no.

The cool thing about the name Bob is that you can't mess it up. Spell it forward or backward it's still the same. But anyway, this guy has another of those generic names. I wonder why moms and dads do that to kids? If I had a kid I'd name them something really cool. Something with pizazz. I think that a name can predispose you to certain things in life. Bob is a bland name with little zing. So my personality being anti-everything, I am silly and goofy and full of crap most of the time. That is a way of fighting the name expectations. But a lot of Bobs are just what the name implies, bland.

Makes you wonder what a person named Hortense would end up being in life.

Tomorrow we are doing a boat trip. All the workers in my department and some of the supporters from other areas are headed out to what they call a "Team Building" day of cruising and food. It's a nice thing they do here. I'm looking forward to it. I wonder if the people who hate their co-workers feel the same way though? It would be hard to socialize all day with people you don't like. Probably be better off staying at work. Luckily I work with the best group around so it should be a blast.
I'm thinking that shorts, kicks and a nice Hawaiian shirt for the day is in order. Tough work day, eh? lol

I heard some bozo last night on ESPN talking about how the Yankees are done and they should start thinking Wildcard. Makes you wonder where these so called experts get their credentials. It's freakin May dork boy. Almost 5 months of baseball left and we are supposed to give up the division already? Please.

You guys don't realize who you are talking about here. By the All-Star break we will be within shooting distance of first place, if not in sole possession of it. Then after the break the sux will have their yearly collapse and the Yanks will surge, like always. Then in Spetember we will be looking at the latest shot at a Series win again. Morons don't know Baseball. Don't know the Yankees. They should get a real job since they are totally unqualifed for the one they have.

Ok, enough musing. Gotta go do some stuff. If you read this to the end, God bless you. I'm impressed. Have a great day. :)

Monday, May 14, 2007

Broken Lottery Tickets

This was one of the better weekends I've had in a while. You'll notice that when my weekends are really good I won't be blogging much during the weekend. Then on Monday, here I am. It's kinda like sometimes you use your blog (and blog friends) for venting. But if things are good you just stick with the flow and let everyone know later that you were having a kick ass time. Who needs a support group when you have a blog, right?

That made me think of our neighbor. She is the one who had a daughter commit suicide not too long ago. Nicci went over to hang with her a bit on Saturday because she was "having a bad day". I get that. She misses her daughter. But now the grandaughter is thinking of starting a support group for people who have parents that committed suicide. I was thinking that in our little tiny town, that would be a pretty small group. Besides, those groups rarely do much but turn into BS sessions anyway. Like AA for example. Those people go in there and bitch about their day or their week and find mutual ways to justify why they fell off the wagon again. Maybe it's different in the crybaby groups. I dunno.

Nope, I'm not a fan of support groups.

So we went to Longwood Gardens (link, link, link) yesterday. I asked Nicci what she wanted to do with herself on Mother's Day and she chose that. I don't mind at all. It's an amazing place. I have lots of pics to post but that will have to wait until tonight. If you've never been there check it out. It's great (if you like gardens). I do. I especially love the big trees. They have the biggest surviving Elm there. It's my favorite spot. I don't know if it's the biggest anywhere but it's a giant one.

I took some sneaky pics while I was there. I love to see the old people cruising around on the little cart things. Like George Costanza did when he pretended to be handicapped. They look like they are racing sometimes. Those little flags on the sticks they have attached to the race carts crack me up.

I tried really hard to get a pic of this one girl we kept running into there. She was a stocky asian girl who had the most odd outfit on. Very short shorts, plaid. Black nylons. Red Chuck Taylors. A striped shirt that let her pudgy belly show out the bottom. A flowered vest and a tie. She had a tie on but the shirt had no collar. It looked like she was trying to strangle herself. To top it off she had really spikey hair, 3 colors, and some Elvis Costello black glasses. She was something. If Nicci hadn't stopped me I was going to ask her to pose for me. I'll bet she would have. :)

Today I get to give blood again. The bleeder people love me. I don't love them but it's OK. They use my blood at the hospital for newborn babies. That's what they tell me everytime so I guess I'll believe them. I'm O negative. Mean anything to anyone? Apparently I can give blood to anyone. But I can have only my type in return. I guess I'm more discerning than most people are, eh? lol

Our fabulous Scion is in the shop again. This will be the 10th time for the same problem. We have filed a complaint with Toyota about it. They are all kiss-assey but it still is annoying. 10 times! Tell me again that Japanese cars are so great. Remember the trials I had with the last Toyota? Some of you do I'm sure. I've had 2 Toyotas and they both kept me in trips to the garage bi-monthly. You can keep them. I'm going with German engineering from now on.

I'm not in the mood for this stuff today. I guess somehow I need to get motivated. When the weekend is so good, Mondays are worse than usual. But until the Lottery machine stops giving me broken tickets, I guess I'll find a way to hang with it.

I wonder how many broken lotto tickets I've thrown away in the past? Probably enough of them that had I invested the dough intead I could retire tomorrow. It feels like that anyway. These days I think the American Dream isn't the same thing it used to be. It's now simply finding a lottery ticket that isn't broken. Then comes easy street.

Thats where I'm headed. Easy Street via Lottery Boulevard. I'll let you know when I get there.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Silly Face YB

Yesterday was one of those days that just flew by me. I was so busy and constantly moving, with a headache that wouldn't go away no matter what drugs I popped. Now today I'm trying to remember what I did. Ha ha! Anyone else ever have that happen? It is all a blur now. Lucky for me I have a little sticky pad thing I carry with me to write down reminders. Otherwise I'd just be here wondering wtf I need to finish today. My memory is like that sometimes. Especially yesterday because I wasn't feeling real great.

I would like to take a second right here to thank whoever it was who invented the sticky pads/notes. Good job! They are a lifesaver sometimes.

This morning has been weird. Nicci woke up in a foul mood, bitching and complaining about everything. One of those moods where she finds little, tiny things to attack me about and make them into big, giant issues. I weathered the storm this morning by laughing at every chance. (When she wasn't looking, of course). I knew she was just grumpy and didn't mean anything. So it amused me a lot. I acted serious when I was near her but when my back was turned I was cracking up. People who fly off the handle for no reason can really be amusing sometimes. By the time I left for work she was all sweet and normal again. Chalk it up to PMS, she said. lol

At Starbuck's on Wednesday someone ordered something and specified that it had to be 180 degrees F. Who orders something like that? And how hard is it to make sure the temperature is right? I smiled when I heard it and the woman next to me shrugged. I laughed and said "How do they know the temp. is OK? Next time I'm here I'm ordering something to be 162.5 degrees F. We'll see what happens." She just laughed. So this morning, guess what I did? Yep, I went in and ordered a latte and specified it to be 162.5 degrees. The girl looked at me and just cracked up. When she called to the other girl to make it the second one walked over to make sure she heard right. Then she laughed and walked away.

While I was waiting the lady from Wednesday came in. I told her I ordered it for 162.5 and she wouldn't believe me. Then the girls behind the counter backed me up when they heard us talking. They said they knew I was joking about it. They said some people are so adamant about temperature that they have accurate thermometers in the milk to make sure what temp. it is. So I asked how they knew I wasn't serious and they told me I have a silly face and they knew better. Huh?

Now I'm silly face YB. Thats pretty funny to me.

Last night I got another call at home about troubles at work. I made the mistake of helping too many people out and now I get calls for help from departments that I don't even work in. Last night I just told them who to contact to get the fix-up job they need. I wasn't driving all the way back again. So this morning I see the problem was handled just fine by the person I told them to call. I'm thinking I need to change my number now. I don't like calls like that. Mostly because I feel responsible even if it's not my problem. *sigh*

Today will be an early leaving day. I have a hairdo this afternoon. Those who know me already know that its about a 10 minute job to trim my bean. Then I'm free for most of the evening. I love evenings alone. Tonight Nicci is going to take prom pics of her son and his girl. I get to skip that stuff. Coolness. I am lucky with that kind of thing. So I have that to look forward to.

Right now its time for coffee with the Jersey Girl. The day is going just fine so far. :)

Thursday, May 10, 2007

People Are Weird

I swear I think people are really weird sometimes. I saw someone along the road putting flowers on a tree. One of those places where someone else must have died in a car accident. Then they were taking pictures of it. They went to a lot of trouble to do it too.

I just can't understand that whole idea. WTF do people put memorials along the road where someone dies? Whats the point? Isn't that a place where you don't want to be? I've never seen anyone go to the hospital where a person dies and put flowers on the headborad of the bed they were in. Our neighbor's husband died last year of a heart attack in his truck. I don't see her putting a memorial on the steering wheel every week.

It just makes no sense to me. I'll bet this same person has a ton of flowers on the gravesite too. That makes a little more sense to me (but still seems dumb too). At least in the grave there is a residue of the person.

I don't feel anything for a person who does that 'roadside memorial' thing other than pity. They seem like lost fools to me. Imagine what kind of sad, crybaby they must be to do stuff like that. The dead person is probably better off not having to deal with their cry-baby bologna anyway.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

When Worlds Collide

Last night when I was mowing I noticed that the crazy old lady next door kept standing on her porch watching me. (Remember the 93 year old neighbor who walks around outside in her underwear?) She usually wants someone to bother when shes doing that. Well, I have no patience for the nutjob so I never let her get to me. I just ignored her.

Nicci finds it harder to be so dismissive. So when she was out later gardening she noticed the old woman motioning her over. Nicci being much nicer than I am went over and talked with her a while.

I should let everyone know right now that neither Nicci nor I like the woman very much. We have tried. We have taken her shopping. Have taken her for her 'hair-do'. Have taken her list of needs and gotten her groceries for her. I've shoveled her snow many times. But we don't do that stuff anymore. Every time we have helped her she has retaliated by being a mean, nasty thing. She is not a nice person.

That being said, you now know why I don't bother with her at all. To me, if you don't like someone and they treat you badly, you don't bother with them anymore. Nicci is much sweeter than I am. She went over last night and talked with her and found out that her anchient dog was dying and was going to be put to sleep today sometime. Naturally she felt bad and even gave the old bag a hug. Then she came inside and told me about it.


When she mentioned it to me, all concerned and stuff, my first reaction was to say, "Good, its about time. That dog should have died long ago." Then I stopped and saw her reaction.

Oops! Foot in mouth again, I guess. :)

Nicci got upset with me for that. She said I needed more compassion. I don't see why though. I don't like the woman. I like the dog less. It's 18 years old. It is a bigger dog too. One that should have croaked years ago, just like the old woman. Shes 93 and sour as she can be. Neither of them has the courtesy to go away in a timely manner. Maybe the fountain of youth is in her house or something. Who knows? Billy Joel had it right, "Only the good die young".

So I got in trouble because I am consistent. I don't like someone so I don't really care too much what happens with them. Nicci doesn't like them but she manages to be compassionate anyway. We are worlds apart on many things, Nicci and I. But at least you can count on me when I decide something. If I don't like it, I'm done. If I like it (or them) I am a good person to know. I don't know how to be any different.

But I do know this much, after today I don't have to look at that ugly-ass dog anymore. Sounds pretty good to me. :)

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Unforseen Consequences

After hearing the country song with the line "she thinks my tractors sexy" (see May 4th post) I didn't think I could be more amazed by the genre. But I was wrong. My Jersey Girl friend told me about a song with the line "I wanna check you all over for ticks". Again, I'm not making this up. I prefer not to hear the song but you know I have to just once.

I'm going to have write a country song and post it here soon just for my friends to critique.

But you know what will happen, right? I'll write something totally assinine and publish it and suddenly I will be the next big thing in country music. That would be an unforseen consequence of my arrogant attitude toward the style. I'd end up writing and singing (badly) stuff that I would invent by thinking of the dorkiest scenarios possible. I'd think of the silliest thing to write about and make millions doing it.

Then I'd do interviews and make fun of myself and everyone who likes the music but people would still buy it anyway. They wouldn't even know that I was making fun of the whole scene. They'd think I was cute and funny.

Yep, the unforseen/unintended consequences of it all could be interesting. But I promise this, I'll never wear a cowboy hat or boots. That would be going way too far for me. :)

Monday, May 07, 2007

Totally Ridiculous

Clemens to make about $4.5 million per month (story link)

I swear, this deal is so ridiculous that I want to puke. 4.5 million per month? Unreal.

Clemens is 44 years old. He is coming back from the N.L., ie: not the high scoring A.L. He has pretended to retire twice now and gone back on his word. I just don't get why they are spending this much money on him.

We do need pitching. Badly. But how reliable will this old guy be? Plus, how many times will a guy screw you over before you learn your lesson?

Personal opinions? Ok, he is not a Yankee. He is still a red sux guy in my mind. He is following his buddy Pettitte all around which makes me feel like he's weird or something. He's a bum.

I wish we'd spend money on future, long term pitching. Is winning the Series this important? I'm not so sure. A one shot deal rarely ever works out right. Somehow they (Cashman and Steinbrenner) can't remember why the Yanks won so much from 1996 to 2003. Invest in the farm you win a lot more.

Clemens is no Yankee. He does not deserve to wear the pinstripes. These days, I think neither Cashman nor Steinbrenner do either.

Friday, May 04, 2007

And....... We're Back!

I got back from the wilds of Kansas late Wednesday night. Everything went OK with the trip. Just one pain-in-the-butt delay on the take off from Atlanta. We were delayed, after already loading on the plane, for 2 hours. There was a big-ass storm across Tennessee & Virginia that we couldn't fly through so they made us sit on the runway for 2 hours until it was safe to fly through. That was a weird feeling. Knowing you are headed through a storm that they waited to become less strong so we could get through. Yeah, fun.

But Kansas wasn't all that different from home. Except that there really isn't a hill to be seen. I've heard all the talk about how flat it is there but to see it is really different. There are no hills to be seen. The horizon is just 'earth meets sky' for as far as you can see. Where I live you can look in any direction and see mountains. It was a little odd.

I never found Dorothy. I think she was busy polishing her red shoes or something while we were there. Figures.

I did meet my first hooker. Really, I did. She was what she called "an escort". She was a very light skinned black woman with pretty blue eyes. Very sexy. We were at a club the last evening and she started talking to me. I thought (at first) "Gee, this hottie must like me for some reason". She was real friendly. It didn't take too long to find out what she was there for. She wanted $300 for an hour of fun. Can you imagine that? $300 bucks an hour? No one is worth $300 bucks an hour. (With the possible exception of Dorothy herself). I asked her why she was at the club and not at the escort service. She said she was working 'out of the office' that night. LOL

It didn't take her long to realize she wasn't getting money from me so she moved on fast. But I couldn't help myself while she was with me to keep asking questions about her chosen career. Basically what I got from her was that she liked sex.... a lot.... and liked the variety of different partners. Cool. I asked about diseases and stuff but she said she always has safe sex. I wanted to know how she could be sure she was safe but she got wise to me and nicely (and professionally) excused herself.

I found it very ironic that the first hooker I ever met (aside from the legal ones in Europe) was in Kansas. When Lisa and I went to New York the last time we kept looking for one. We just wanted to see a real live prostitute. Never did see one. Every big city I go to I always have that in mind. I just want to see what they look like. So there I am in Kansas, hayseed central, and I never even considered that I'd meet an 'escort'. But whatta ya know? Ironic I guess.

I also noticed that country music is unavoidable in Kansas. It's annoying here but there it's downright obnoxious. I even heard a song there that some of the lyrics were "she finds my tractor sexy" or something like that. I laughed and laughed at that one. I keep telling Nicci that I can write crappy stuff like that, give it a country twang, and get rich. If that is a popular song, I know for sure I can do it. Just write something you feel is moronic and sell it as country and wah-la! Instant millions.

She finds my tractor sexy. Sheesh!

YoJ, you remember how we talked about writing country music? Told you we should have done it.

Ok, what else? Oh yeah, the teeth. Now before I go further I want you to know that I am in no way making this up. OK... the waitresses in most of the places in the little town we visited (not the city) were so nice. The problem with that was that they smiled a lot. Usually thats a good thing. But not one of them had teeth that should have been shown to the public. One girl, sweetest of them all, smiled at me and I about ran. Her teeth were all brown and the front ones were just nubs. I couldn't stop looking. Then the bigger girl, also very nice, smiled at us and she pretty much had no teeth. There were a couple of gray stragglers still hanging on but mostly they were all gone. This was the general rule in that town. Not the exception.

The guy who was hosting our visit told us that when he came to town the first time he went everywhere looking for a toothbrush and toothpaste. When he finally stopped at the local drug store he asked the woman at the front where he could find them. He said she just looked at him and said "You're not from around here, are ya?" He told her he was from Chicago. Then she said "Yeah, I could tell you was from somewhere else. We ain't got none here." He had to drive into the city to find a toothbrush and toothpaste.

It's a different world altogether in some places, eh?

All in all it was a good trip. The people in Kansas were all very friendly. Most of them anyway. The scenery sucked but I'm used to something way different. To someone else, maybe its OK. The business end was good. So I think we did ok in the end. I am glad to be home though. Most trips that happens with me. I haven't found any place, other than the beach, that makes me want to stay there forever. I guess there really is no place like home. :)