Monday, January 31, 2005

It's Best To Avoid The News

So I made the mistake of listening to the news on the way home for a while. I don’t usually do that and tonight made me remember why.

First I got to hear John Kerry talking about how the elections in Iraq mean pretty much nothing. Good message there Johnny boy. That whole thing about taking steps to get our people out of there ASAP was just campaign mumbo jumbo I guess. To me, Iraq moving toward independence is a step closer to our people coming home. If he had won, he’d be all over the news blowing off about the great thing that he made happen and how it really is a step toward ending that mess. Dork.

Next I get to hear about the Michael Jackson trial starting jury selection. This will be another circus. Of course, anything with Michael Jackson involved is a circus. What got to me were the idiots they were interviewing. There was a woman who quit her day care job of 10 years and moved out to CA just to be nearby and show Michael her support. Yeah, I’m sure he noticed. Then there was the woman who was crying about how Michael was innocent and how the people who arrested him wouldn’t think he was guilty if they knew what he was like inside. Sheesh! Just how do you know what he’s like inside woman? Are you a mind reader or something? Can you read someone’s soul just by watching their music videos? Please!

That was enough for me. I swear, sometimes I really wonder how humanity ever survived this long. These fine examples of our leaders and our hero worshippers sure don’t engender confidence in the future.

I’m so glad I remembered my Frank Sinatra CD for the rest of the trip home.

Nicknames Come From.... ???

I've decided I would really like a cool nickname. I see all these people with nicknames and I like it. Well, maybe not all of them, but some. Problem is, with a name so bland like 'Bob', what can you make of that?

Some names just beg for nicknames, like 'JLo' and 'ARod'. Others, I don't have a clue as to where they come from, like 'P. Diddy'. The one he had before that, 'Puff Daddy', was sort of like advertising his bad habits, don't you think? I'll skip going in that direction.

I've noticed there are a lot of people using the nickname 'Edge'. There is the guitarist for U2. There is Veronica's sweetie. I've known another 2 people who called themselves 'Edge'. How do you get that name? I'd like to be a cool Edge person. Speaking of U2, what's a 'Bono'? There's one I don't get.

When I was playing ball regularly I had several names that people called me. Mostly intended as insults, but it was all in good fun. (I think.) One was 'Candy'. That was short for 'candy arm' because our shortstop thought I had a weak throwing arm. He was right, but I was a second baseman anyway. It only showed up when I was at third. Another name he called me was 'Teflon', meaning no stick. (Stick as in batting.) One guy referred to me as 'a maggot infested piece of roadkill', but that one didn't stick.

For a while the guys were calling me 'Jeter' because of my rabid Yankeedom. I didn't like that one. First, I was a second baseman, not a shortstop. Second, I was an average player, not awesome like Jeter, so I thought it was an insult to him. I tried to stop that one quick.

But all the cool names come from somewhere and I would like to know the formula. How does one get a name like 'Snoop Dog' or 'B.A.' (Mr. T on the A-Team) or 'The Big Bad' (Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer) or even 'Eminem' (who I can't stand, but the name is cool). Maybe you have to do something awesome before you earn one? Maybe you just have to tell people "Call me *****" ? I don't know, but it does make me wonder.

I guess I could be B.Ob, (pronounced beeob) if I tried to use my own name. That's not so cool though. Kind of sounds like a cartoon animal or something. The nickname Yankeebob came from someone being very upset with me after the Yankees won the World Series against the Mets. That guy was so funny. He got really mad because I had no sympathy for the Mets losing. He was almost yelling at me in my office saying something like "You Yankee fans are all alike. Winning is everything. You're so obnoxious. From now on I'll think of you as a Yankee, Bob, and nothing else!" He meant it as an insult, but I took it as a compliment. A major compliment. It made him even madder when he found out I used that name for e-mail addresses and stuff.

Come to think of it, I'll just stick with Yankeebob. That one suits me.

Sunday, January 30, 2005

The Grocery Store

The Grocery Store. Does anyone really like to go to the grocery store? I doubt it. I had to stop there this morning for just a few things and I noticed that no one going in looks happy to be there. They either look really blasé, like “please, let’s just get this over with”, or really concentrated, like really focused, really ready to do some serious grocery shopping. No smiling and laughing. No enthusiasm. All business.

I noticed this one couple going in as I was just getting to the doors. They had 2 carts for shopping. They didn’t even hesitate; they grabbed 2 carts right away at the doors. Once they got inside, their kid got into one of them and took her shoes off. These people are getting ready for a serious shopping trip.

Which brings me to this question, why do people bring their kids to the grocery store? If they have no one to watch them, I can see it. But I think I would try hard to avoid that scene. Have you noticed these people in the stores? The kids are running up and down the aisles and one parent is chasing them. Or the kid is grabbing stuff and the parent is constantly telling them no. “Now I told you that you weren’t getting that!” Kids in the soda aisle or worse, the candy aisle are a trip. With every step they are grabbing something or asking for something and the parent is telling them no.

The worst aisle for having kids is that little tiny toy area they put in grocery stores. It’s small enough that there is just junk there, but its toys and little kids can’t be dragged away from it. They put such cheap stuff in there that even when the parent gives in, the kid has forgotten the thing within minutes of leaving the store. Or they’ve broken it and left it for dead in some corner of their room somewhere. I think the grocery store guys just add this little tiny toy area to torture the parents a little more. They probably are sitting somewhere watching and laughing about it, talking to the poor parents like, “That’ll teach you to bring your kid in here!” They’re just mean like that.

Then comes the hardest aisle for anyone to avoid, the ice cream aisle. It’s like Fantasy Land in that aisle. People of all ages get in front of those doors and stare for long periods of time, dreaming of the tasty treats inside, trying to decide which yummy thing will be theirs that day. The ones who linger longest, looking all up and down the aisle are the ones you know are doomed the worst. Those people aren’t getting away with just one thing; they are taking home a couple different ice cream treats. The longer you look, the more mesmerizing it becomes. That’s why the ice cream aisle has become a full aisle now. When I was a kid, it was a tiny little spot in the store. Now it’s huge.

At the end of the excursion, when all the exasperating shopping has been accomplished, then you have the Checkout. They have these self-checkouts now that are pretty popular. They still have someone bagging stuff and watching you, so I’m not sure of the store philosophy there. They also have the express lane where someone invariably has more items than they are supposed to. Then you have the person behind them giving them the evil eye for it. You know what they are thinking, “The sign says 15 items or less, not 16 items! Now I’ll be here forever!” The funny part is the person who goes through the entire process and stands there afterward, closely examining every item on the printout from the register. They look over the items listed, check it against what’s now in the bags, scratch their heads wondering just how they could have spent that much. “It sure doesn’t look like that much in my carts. Can this bill be right?” Yeah, it’s right. You spent too much time in that darn ice cream aisle.

The grocery store, a never-ending resource of amusement and blog material for me. Gotta love em!

What? Me Serious?

This morning I've been walking around my house in a 'Bob' mood. That is one of the many times I'm sort of in my own little universe, being a goof and just enjoying myself. I've been singing Dean Martin's song "Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime" to my cat. (It made her really cuddly. See, Deano effects all the babes like that.) I get these moods pretty often where I'm just not capable of being serious or taking much of anything seriously. This is just one of those times where everything is obviously put here for my entertainment.

For example, these jokes are cracking me up this morning: What are bluejeans with ghosts in them? - Boo jeans! And What side of a dog has the most hair? - The outside! See, I'm easily amused today.

Peachy and I were having a conversation on Friday about what personality traits we had that would bug each other if we were a couple. It was a fun experiment to see how we saw our personalities in relation to someone else. I neglected to tell her about this quirk in me. Though she has seen it plenty at work, it's much more common out of work. (And much more annoying.) No one should try to talk seriously to me when I feel like this. They will either end up frustrated at my lack of interest in their topic or end up laughing hysterically at my dumb jokes.

It's weird to think about how you may be seen by someone else. It's weird to think about your personality and how it would effect others. I think this part of me could be hard to take with someone who doesn't wake up quickly in the morning, who isn't tolerant of silliness, who doesn't like puns (I get Henny Youngman disease sometimes) or someone who just isn't capable of or interested in playing along.

Other personality things I mentioned to Peachy (or at least thought about mentioning) were my love for Baseball, which can be obnoxiuos during the season, my lack of interest in having babies, my extreme love of movie watching and my on again off again romance with the Playstation. These things would be fine for some people. They would drive others crazy.

I guess, basically, we all have things that would work fine with another person and some things that would grate on someone else. This morning I'm in 'Bob's World' where everything is funny and amusing and not at all to be taken seriously, like this post. Who cares? Right?

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Battlestar Galactica

I just wanted to take a moment this morning to say how much I like the new Sci-Fi series Battlestar Galactica. It’s pretty darn good!

I was really psyched when I heard they were making a mini-series. Then I was worried because I saw that Starbuck and Boomer were women in this version. I was a huge fan of the original and wasn’t too sure about those changes, but as it turns out, it doesn’t make any difference. They are still both great characters.

Just like in the original, Starbuck is my favorite character. Maybe I like this version even better. I like a woman who kicks ass like her. Plus, I’ve always been an Edward James Olmos fan. They even had Richard Hatch (the original Apollo) in an episode. That was cool. I wonder if it’s a recurring role?

Basically, I guess I’m recommending it to those who haven’t seen it yet. Its much more character focused, so don’t let the sci-fi part scare you away. Now I have 2 ½ shows to keep me distracted a bit until Baseball season.

The other 1 ½ shows I like are Desperate Housewives and Point Pleasant. Desperate Housewives is great. Point Pleasant has potential. I know Karen and the other Jersey folks don’t like how it’s not true to Jersey, but I’m giving it a chance because Marti Noxon is producing and writing it. Any Buffy and Angel fans know who she is. It hasn’t been terribly great yet. It also hasn’t been too bad either. But then again, Buffy’s first season wasn’t all that great either. I’m hoping this one will get better. If not, cie le vie. Baseball is just around the corner anyway.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Just Shut Up

Have you ever had someone rattling your ear off and all you could think was "Just shut up"? This has happened to me several times in just the last 2 days.

Yesterday I got stuck in a one sided conversation with someone whom I normally like talking to. Lately she just wants to bitch about the same things over and over. It's making me crazy. While she was prattling on, I remember that I wasn't listening to her much at all. I also remember clearly thinking, "Would you please just shut up and go away!"

Another time was when the king of worthless small-talk (which I abhor most of the time anyway) came into the office and started talking, but would not go away. This is another nice guy who just rattles on and on about useless things. It's not too bad for a few minutes, but after it becomes painfully obvious that he's not going anywhere for a long time, it gets hard to take.

I remember hearing a sentence he'd say, then my attention moving to some other thought in my head and then back to another thing he said and back to something I was thinking and yada yada yada. Occasionally he'd say things like "You know what I mean?" and I'd just say "Yeah." Then the cycle would resume.

Stuff like that drives me crazy. I need to learn how to extricate myself from these situations gracefully. Mostly I wait until someone else comes near us and I'll get them sucked into the 'conversation'. I'll say something like, "Hey ****, did you hear this?" When they stop to hear what was said, I'll ease myself away and then disappear, leaving them stranded in the clutches of 'the babbler of doom'.

Yeah, I suck, but it is survival of the fittest. Plus it's better than losing it and screaming in their face, "Just shut up!"

Stupidity, Stupidity, Irritation, Insult

Those 4 words describe my ordeal with trying to get a 'simple repair' done at the dealership where I bought my new car in September. (See this post for details from the last visit.)

This trip today is #4. There will be a #5 since they had to keep it this time. (They are replacing the lower dash parts that they destroyed during the last visit.)

I got there early and they took it in right away. The Mr. Service signed it in and told me it would take maye 45 minutes to an hour and I'd be on my way. OK, I was prepared for that anyway. So I sit as far away from the crowd as possible and read my book for maybe 1/2 hour when Mr. Service shows up. It was like he popped in from out of no where. All of a sudden, he was just there. Bad news of course. He had miscalculated. The job was going to take 5-6 hours. He would get me a loaner car if I didn't want to wait that long.

Of course I wasn't waiting that long. This is more time from work that I could be using for fun stuff, so I went with him to take care of the loaner.

As he writes up the paperwork, he marks in big letters at the top "UPGRADE". He tells me that for all the trouble I've had he's upgrading my loaner to a bigger luxury car. "Something nice to drive around until my car was done" he said. That was cool. I kind of liked the idea of checking out something fancy.

So I get to the loaner car area and the guy there grabs the paperwork and immediately starts up a mini-cheapo car and begins writing the info on the forms. I just smile. Even though I'd prefer to check out something like Mr. Service described, I just want to get to work.

He looks at me and asks "What?" after seeing me smiling.
I just say, "This is your idea of an upgrade?"
Him: "Upgrade?" Looks at forms again. "Oh, I didn't notice that on the paperwork, Sorry."
(Maybe the wirting was too big?)
He looks around at a line of bigger, fancy looking cars, walks toward one and then turns to me and says, "Well, who's is paying for this upgrade, you or the dealership?"
Me: "What difference does that make?"
Him: "Well, I gotta know."
Me: "The dealership. It's a loaner, like the forms say."
Him: (Now looking at a different row of the same type of car he was already getting ready to give me) "OK, we'll get you something nicer."
Me: "Those are the same model. There's no difference but a sunroof."
Him: "Those are considered upgrades from this one."
Me: "It's 9 degrees outside. What do I need a sunroof for? Just give me the form and I'll get going."
Him: "No, I'll get you the upgrade. It's OK."
Me: (Taking the form and getting into the 'downgrade') "Forget it. Just let me out of this place."

So now on top of the first 2 visits where they couldn't even get the parts ordered right (stupidity, stupidity), the 3rd visit where they broke more than they fixed (severe irritation) I have been insulted by a chump who didn't think I deserved the loaner car that Mr. Service wanted me to try out. It wasn't my idea for the fancy car. Plus, I didn't really care. I just wanted to stop wasting time and get to work.

These guys really shouldn't be in the service business.

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Randy Johnson, Super Pitcher

I saw this poll on that showed most people think RJ will win 20 games or more this year. Those people are goofy! He's 41, coming back to the A.L. and just not as sharp as he once was. He'll definitely get more run support than last year. I think he'll win more than 15. I hope he wins more than 20, but the odds are he will not be as effective in the A.L. I sometimes wonder just how Baseball savy the readers are.

We can dream though, can't we?

Poll from

How many games do you think Randy Johnson will win this year?
22 or more
10216 votes (27%)
10757 votes (29%)
9467 votes (25%)
5027 votes (13%)
Fewer than 15
2191 votes (6%)

37658 people have voted so far

Chia Homer

This was a Christmas gift for Spacebrain. Poor old Homer. He just can't get anything to grow on top.

Aeon Flux Is Coming

I've been waiting to hear more about the upcoming movie version of "Aeon Flux". This is the first article on it I've noticed.

I loved the original on MTV. Soon, we'll see if Charlize Theron can do Aeon justice. Seldom do I care much about upcoming films. This is an exception. Hopefully it won't be disappointing.

Stuff I Just Don't Get

Another addition the the ever growing list of stuff I don't get. This addition is food specific.

- Potatoes In Soup

Why do people ruin soup by putting potatoes in it? I hate that. I'm going along fine, enjoying my soup when suddenly there is a no-taste spot. That's what it's like. A spot in the soup that is blank, no flavor. A potato. The soup was so good until I hit that blank spot. I get so frustrated when that happens. Why do people have to screw up good soup like that?

- Tomatoes

I can't stand tomatoes. The flavor isn't even the biggest turn-off. It's the texture. It disgusts me. People hear me say this and they always say "you like ketchup and spaghetti sauce". Yep, I love those, but they don't taste like the original plus that awful texture is gone. I can just about barf when I see someone eat a raw tomato. Bleech!

- Stuffed Jalapenos

I loved Stuffed Jalapenos. Recently I found out that there is a big difference between them being stuffed with cheddar cheese and cream cheese. Cheddar is yummy. Cream chees in the jalapeno is the complete opposite, thouroughly disgusting. It's amazing the difference. Cream cheese should be left for bagels and sushi (japanese bagel rolls). Keep it out of my jalapenos!

- Chocolate Covered Cherries

Along the same line as the jalapenos, I prefer the cherries with the liquid centers over the creamy centers. I'm not as adamant about it though.

- Healthy Fast Food

Whatever idiot in the fast food world decided that they needed to start promoting 'healthy menus' needs a smack in the head. First, it's no longer fast. Lunch times are now screwed up because of this. Second, the food is no longer nearly as good. Case in point, I hate McDonalds Fries since they started using the new 'healthier' oil. They suck plus they make my stomach hurt a short time after eating them. Also, their 'baked pies' suck compared to the originals. Anyone who goes to McDonalds looking for healty food is an idiot. That's not what those kind of places are for. Wanna get healthy? Stay home. And the dorks that are caving in to this stupid idea, quit screwing up the places that once were good.

- Onions

I feel the need to express my love of the Onion. I love onions on almost everything. I like them raw, cooked, sautéed, crunchy, soft, green, yellow, purple... well, you get it. I don't even mind the bad breath that comes from the stronger, raw ones I have on my sandwiches. That's why I carry those Listerine breath strips with me. Other people do mind the breath. ;)

- Vegetarians/Vegans

I can't see the point of the hardcore Vegetarinan lifestyle. I know a lot of them are just health conscious and that I can see. It's the ones who freak out about the 'killing of innocent animals'. Please, that's what they are here for. They are food. Plus, eating plants is also killing. The plant is a living, breathing entity too. There are studies that show that plants are even capable of discerning the emotional state of their human owner. So they can be pets also. We, the human race, are omnivores. Have a steak and shut up.

- Hot Food

I prefer cold food. I like cold spaghetti, pizza, sandwiches & veggies. I eat SpaghettiOs and stuff like that (even soup) right out of the cans. I like food that way. A lot of people don't get it and give me crap about it. So what? That's how I like it. When something is hot, I have to let it cool off before starting it anyway. Plus I don't like a burned tongue. (Which happens to me easily.) I don't get how someone eats something so hot it's steaming. That's scary looking to me. And there are some people who even return stuff at restaurants because it's not hot enough. That's weird to me. Why take a chance like that for a few more degrees? Nope, the cooler, the better.

- Medium Rare Please

How come the different cooking levels for steaks aren't consistent in every restaurant? If you order a steak medium rare (my personal favorite) at The Outback, that thing comes back bloody. If I order it that way somewhere else, it may come back medium. It seems to me they could be more uniform since they all say the same thing when you order, "Ok, medium rare is warm with a little pink in the middle." Then it comes back almost every time either bloody or too well done. "Hey buddy, did you hear your own description?" I don't get that at all.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Ian Has Left The Building

Yesterday Ian of The Hard Word decided to take a break from blogging. This really is a bummer. He’s one of the best writers and genuine ‘nice guys’ I’ve noticed since I started this blog. I hope his sabbatical is short.

What I found interesting was all the responses to his ‘work stoppage’. Not just at his blog, but at a few others where this was mentioned. Most responses were the obvious ‘noooo’ and ‘what a bummer’ type (mine included). Some were questions as to why. I wondered if it just got too boring or hard to do for him. He really had some great stories and well done posts. It appeared to be some effort.

Lately I’ve noticed an increasing amount of comments and posts from people apologizing and/or at least mentioning how they ‘promise to post something more interesting’ soon. Makes me wonder how many bloggers work hard on their posts? A lot of them seem well crafted and others seem spontaneous. Most seem to be a combination of both. That’s how mine is. Sometimes I have a subject pop into my head and I’ll think about it and write all my thoughts down and then create a post. This might take a couple of days.

Also a lot of my posts are spur of the moment. Just an emotional reaction and a quick type job and there it is. Those are obvious. Those are also the ones I sometimes regret posting when I see them later. But since they were honest reactions, I let them where they are. After all, that’s what this blog is basically for, a type of journal.

The question is, what do bloggers shoot for when doing a post? Is it an attempt at starting a discussion? Is it just a journal of their life? Is it a place for ego-biscuit generated by comments? Seems to me that it could be all three. It also seems to me that if it all becomes ‘work’ or a struggle, it’s probably not worth doing.

I just like to have fun with it. I really like making a connection with people in areas of the world I’ve never been and may never see. (I read every one of the blogs I have linked plus some that are linked at sites I regularly visit. I may not comment on everything, but I do read them.) Mostly. I think it’s great to know that somewhere out there is someone else who can identify with you on more than 1 level and can actually care for someone they’ve never actually met. Modern technology is great, isn’t it?

So, Ian has taken a break. I hope it’s a short one. I hope the blog isn’t getting him down. I hope others aren’t feeling pressure to post cool, funny & interesting stuff just to keep readers coming back. Personally, I don’t think that’s what most blogs are meant for. For me, I like getting a glimpse into others thoughts and feelings and the funny, interesting well crafted stuff is like icing on the cake.

G’day Ian. Enjoy your break. Come back soon.

(This was written on Tuesday. It wouldn't publish. Let's see if it will now.)

This Is A Test.....

... Once again attempting to post something. I can't comment anywhere right now. After my last post yesterday, I tried until 8:00ish and gave up. This whole past week has been bad. This window took forever to come up. Sounds like mine isn't the only problem. It's frustrating.

On the brighter side, it's hump day. One day closer to the weekend. It's also someones birthday. I don't know how she feels about her birthday being broadcast, so I won't say who it is directly, but her link is 10th on my list.

So, it was a big hint! I can't help myself. ;)

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Office Affair Mini-Update

*Finally I managed to get the damn blogger to work. This day has been bad.*

An update continued from this string of posts:

I just about threw up a minute ago. I walked past cg's cubicle and cgrl was there. (Of course.) As I went by I caught her telling him he was a genius. Something about how well he does things compared to everyone else in his department. It was gross. Something like "You know Hon, (she calls everyone Hon) no one else is as smart as you..." I heard the genius part as I was getting 'far enough past' for them to resume talking. Bleech!

I know they see people coming. They keep talking right up until you get to their cozy rendevous place, be it his or her cube. Like we are supposed to be deaf until we are only a foot away from them. "Hey dumbasses, it's still an open area! We can hear you even when we aren't trying."

As I came back she had her back to me and was blocking his view, so they didn't stop their mushy stuff until I was right there. She had her hand on his knee (he was sitting on his chair with his legs crossed, she was sitting/leaning against his desk thing) and quickly pulled it back when they finally saw me. The brief bit of conversation I heard going in this direction was her still egging on his ego with the "you are too good for these people, you should be in charge" stuff.

I'm not one for eavesdropping so normally I won't be the one to hear lovey dovey stuff first hand. Now that I have, I'm even more grossed out. He's not anywhere near a genius. More like a step above neanderthal with the bad temper to go with it. Sheesh! I'd much rather get reports from others than to hear that stuff myself. Now I've got the heebie-jeebies thinking about them together, getting it on and her yapping away telling him how great he is. *shudder*

I think I need some Pepto-Bismol.

Rotten Movies

I heard a discussion on the radio this morning about the worst movies ever made. It occurred to me that most movie discussions are about favorite movies, movies that people liked, not bad movies. I think it would be fun to find out what the blog world considers the worst movies ever.

I’ve heard the discussion that “Plan 9 From Outer Space” is widely considered the worst movie ever made. It is bad. Personally, I love the genre and the cheesy “B” movies in general, so I liked it a lot. But it is bad!

I heard “A Clockwork Orange” mentioned today too. I liked it OK, but I loved the book, so I may have been biased. The movie could have been better.

A movie I hated is one that was well made and well acted, but I still thought it sucked. Big time sucked. It was “Gangs Of New York”. To me, it was a waste of time and money. It grossed me out. Plus, it left me wondering just why anyone would make the thing. I saw no reason for its existence. No moral to the story. No value.

I’d like to see what everyone’s opinions are on the worst movie ever.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Accept No Substitutes

Did you ever have a craving for something and then settle for something else? That never works out. I have this craving for a cinnamon raisin bagel. It's been bugging me for a couple of days. This morning I went to the lunch room machine and they didn't have any. Only a plain bagel was available, so I got it. What a mistake. It was totally unfulfilling. It also gave me indigestion. (Just a little.) Now I want a cinnamon raisin bagel even more.

Moral of the story: don't accept a substitute for something you are really craving. It won't satisfy you and it will just give you indigestion plus make you fatter by now having two, one substitute and one you really wanted in the first place.

Roach Shots For All

The Sci-Fi Channel had one of their ‘homemade’ movies on Saturday night. It was called “Larva”. The plot was basically the same as always, the super rich business guy messes with something he shouldn’t have in order to make a bunch more money and people get killed. This time the rich guy messed with the genetics of feed for cows that made the cows grow quicker and better. Problem was the parasites in the meat grew up genetically altered too. They became big people eating monsters. (I love those cheapo Sci-Fi movies.)

This started me thinking about how we live constantly with stuff like bacteria and parasites. We have lots of different kinds in our homes, where we work, everywhere we go and even inside us. There are even some called ‘good bacteria’ inside us that we need to live healthy. Doesn’t that sound gross? It weirds me out sometimes thinking about it.

We live with this stuff, never thinking much about it until we get sick. Getting sick usually comes from coming into contact with some bug we haven’t met yet. I remember going to this kids play-place with a friend once. It was one of those places that was filled to the brim with activities and games and a munchie place. It was great. Problem was that I forgot about ‘the strange germ’ thing. There were obviously a ton of bugs in that joint that my body hadn’t met up with before. Before we left, I started feeling tired. I thought it was just from running around like a crazy person with a bunch of 5 years olds. The next morning, I found out differently. I was sick for a week. All kinds of sick. You name it, I had it. Lesson learned, going to places with lots of strange germs crawling around, you get sick.

I’ve also had the occasion to be so tired that the ‘normal’ amount of bio-burden in my system has been able to take over and I’ve gotten sick from that. Running yourself down can weaken the immune system to the point that the bugs take over. That sucks too.

I was thinking how weird it would be if some of the genetically engineered stuff really did get into our food. I wonder if giant parasites would come after us? Or maybe we would end up being altered in some way. Like being big giant fat slobs with tentacles growing from our armpits.

Some of the changes could be cool though. Maybe some people would grow wings like a fly. Hopefully they would learn to fly in a straight line. It would be weird to be able to fly but mostly in circles. Or maybe someone would be able to live under water as well as above. That would be really cool. That could hurt the scuba business though.

I’d like to be able to stick to walls and stuff like Spiderman. That would be a fun genetic alteration. Of course, it would come from a genetically altered bacteria, so it might also mean leaving a trail of slime behind me everywhere I went. I wonder if it would be worth that?

What we need is some kind of bacteria shot that makes us immune to all the other bacteria out there. Like maybe a cockroach shot. Those roaches live through everything. They’ve been around through every age of the world, ice age, stone age, flood age (?) all of them. They’ve got something going on that keeps them healthy, or at least surviving. If we could figure out what makes them so tough, we might be better off. Of course, getting past the fact that it’s a roach shot would be hard.

Now I’m freaking myself out. Maybe I see too many of these Sci-Fi movies?

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Some Stuff I Like Today

This morning I drove ‘the good car’ to Starbuck’s. It’s snowing here, a lot and I drove it on purpose. See, it’s rear wheel drive with lots of power. These things in combination with snow equals fun.

I would come to the stops and when all was clear, I’d punch the gas a little while turning the wheel slightly in the direction I wanted to go. The car would swing around in the right direction and I’d shift quickly into 2nd just in time to send it down the street. See, fun.

I also got to test out the anti-lock brakes and the traction control. It was a good trip. I was tempted to do some do-nuts in the parking lot, but I decided that wouldn’t be a good idea. Do-nuts in a front wheel drive car aren’t nearly as fun. So it was tempting. Getting busted doing do-nuts and being a grown-up (supposedly) is less fun.

I noticed one of our neighbors out in the snow wearing a baseball hat. Women in baseball hats are sexy to me. I love it when they wear the hat and have their hair pulled through the back of the hat.

Talking to the television. I have a great time talking back to ads, telling the people in the shows how stupid they are and just in general having great conversations with a semi-inanimate object. This is especially entertaining when watching the cheesy low budget shows on Sci-Fi Channel. (Those are my favorite.)

French Fries & Jalapeno Poppers for lunch. Specifically, Ore Ida Original Fries. Yep, another healthy lunch for me today. Sometimes you just gotta enjoy the good stuff.

During this current snowstorm I’ve seen 5 different joggers. They were still doing their thing even in the snow. I’m envious of their ability to stick to their regimen. Even in the years that I was a regular runner I would quit when the weather got cold. I’m a wimp when winter sets in. I’m really impressed with those nuts running in a storm.

Starbuck’s is awesome. (That’s all I’m saying fearing the wrath of Susie.)

Having the laundry done. Yes, I do the laundry at my house. I kinda like it. Every weekend. Now it’s all done and that’s even better. I do try to do some things around the home besides taking up space.

Does anyone not like an English type accent? The woman in the current Sci-Fi movie has one. Maybe Australian? I’m not too good at guessing the exact accent, but I do think they are sexy. Mostly the women. (Duh!) But the guys sound cool too.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Thinking Too Much

Well, Bob’s brain is working overtime again tonight. I’ve been thinking about my encounter with the woman in the grocery store. I’m wondering why I didn’t/couldn’t/wouldn’t take her up on her offer of a rendezvous. I passed on something that some people wouldn’t. It was also something I thought I’d do if I had the chance. Truth be told, this is the second time I’ve had the chance. It’s weird when you start thinking that you really don’t know yourself all that well.

I’m not proud of it. I’m also not upset about it. Right now I’m just surprised at the fact that I don’t have any feeling about it at all. A complete emotional detachment and an analytical curiosity about the suddenness and finality of it all is what I’m feeling.

I do wonder if I hadn’t felt so embarrassed at the time would I have acted differently toward her offer. Or did I subconsciously doubt her sincerity, believing that she was still testing me? Would I have decided differently if I were sure it wasn’t a test?

See how the mind can make a problem where there shouldn’t be one?

Makes me wonder about what I think I’m capable of and what I am actually capable of. Am I someone who would react just as quickly to a friend in need? Am I someone who could let a kid eat a bug in his ice cream cone? Would I dive right in to save the world from flesh eating zombies at the risk of myself? Things like that make you wonder.

I don’t believe in worrying about this kind of stuff too much. I’m not really worried at all. I guess I’m feeling some kind of after the fact surprise at how it all happened. I’ve been known to try to analyze things that should be just left alone.

Whatever the deal about it is, I guess it’s past now, so I’ll let it at that. I hope to have the opportunity again some time. Just to see how I react in a different situation. You know, just for the scientific-like study.....

Bad News For Them

OK, this is how the morning is going so far:

The cat puked all over our carpeted steps when I was trying to leave for work. Nicci can't touch the stuff, so I had to clean it up. That put me on a slightly 'behind schedule' time frame.

Next, the toilet clogs before I escape, so I had to take care of that. Now I'm definitely behind schedule.

From leaving a little late, I run into all the idiots on the road who shouldn't be driving anyway. They manage to put me even further behind.

I get to work, start to get going with the day and manage to sling coffee all over the floor and my shoe. Nice.

All this after the idiots from the car place pissed me off yesterday. Too bad for them since I'm getting ready to contact their 'big cheese' this morning to discuss their worthlessness lately.

So, if a bummer of a morning can be a good thing, today is the day. I'm in the right frame of mind for talking with the dealership now. I'm glad this morning has gone the way it has. ;)

Thursday, January 20, 2005

People Watching At The Auto Repair (?) Place

There was some fun to be had while I was waiting for the ravaging of my car to be done. I hadn’t noticed it before, but this place was a haven for celebrity look-alikes. They were everywhere.

As I was sitting there reading my book, I heard what sounded to be Bob Marley talking to someone. As I looked up, there he was, Mr. Bob Marley Wannabe, complete with the dreds hanging out of the hat that looked like a knit bag on his head. The guy really did look and sound like Bob.

Naturally I started to look around for more wannabes. This must be where they come for service. Yep, I was right. Walking in from the Service Desk, there was Eugene Levy, straight from Second City TV. How cool. Should I ask for an autograph? Hmm…

Before I could act he stopped and started talking to a woman who was seated opposite me. I hadn’t noticed, but she really looked a lot like Indira Gandhi. But here she was with Eugene, so I knew it was just another wannabe. They got into a little spat about dinner that evening. I found that amusing since it was 8:30 A.M. and they were fighting about dinner already. Sounds like a tough night coming.

Just then who should walk around the corner but Denny Terrio. (Did I spell that right?) This guy looked just like the disco guy all right. Tight jeans with the tight shirt opened part way down his chest. Tight little leather jacket, slicked back hair and a serious tan. This guy really looked the part. Yep, another celebrity wannabe.

As the Eugene and Indira show was winding down, I looked straight ahead of me into the other room and who did I see there? It was none other than Howard Cunningham, Ritchie’s Dad. This guy not only looked the part, but he talked just like him. I didn’t think there were any more people alive that had sickeningly sweet way of talking to people. Dude, where’s the Fonz?

That was all for the celebrity wannabes. There was also this Asian guy sitting real close to the television. He weirded me out a bit. He was wearing a suit, complete with very shiny shoes, but he had a big, long scarf wrapped around his neck that he never took off. He also had a hat on. One of those hunters looking ones with earflaps and a little thin bill above the eyes. He never removed that either. He was carrying a backpack and periodically he would pull food out and munch down, never stopping his intense watching of the TV. He did pause for a phone call. He spoke real loud into his cell phone and it really did sound like an important business call. Strange guy. Maybe he can’t get warm enough?

To my left there was this woman sitting wrapped in an afghan. She kicked off her shoes, grabbed her knitting (Maybe crochet?) and wrapped up in her afghan waiting for her car. That’s planning ahead.

Basically there were people enough to keep me entertained, but I stuck to my book. I guess I’ll get another chance next week to see who else shows up.

I've owed this to Lars for a while now. The picture is from The Minneapolis Sunday Tribune Magazine Section, Dated Sunday June 20, 1926. It was an advertisement for some play. I can't see that part anymore since it was framed. The bottom says "Fair and Cool. Drawn in colors especially for this page by the famous foreign cartoonist conrado Massaguer." Sorry I took so long posting this. I think I mentioned it in early December on Meritt's blog. Posted by Hello

Service With A Smile, Eventually

I just got back from the car dealership a few minutes ago. The Highwayman's road racer has a minor problem. It has these two little storage areas just below the heater/air-conditioner switches and the bottom one won't stay closed. It's a new car, so it's a simple warranty thing, simple repair right? Nope. Don't be silly. This is modern America.

Today was the third time I went in for this 'one simple repair'. That's what they called it, 'a simple repair'. The first time, they had ordered the wrong color. Duh! The second time, the right color came in, but not all the pieces. Dur!

So yesterday I called and talked to a service guy and then a parts guy to try to get verification that everything was there and it was the right color. The service guy was helpful, but the parts guy was an idiot. He kept giving me the abba dabba that they think will keep customers calm and trusting. Well, they don't know me very well I guess.

So I looked up the e-mail address of the service manager, told him about the whole mess, told him I'm tired of wasting work time, gas, running up the mileage and my time on this 'simple repair'. Could someone verify that everything was good to go?

The guy calls me at work, checks out everything and guarantees me today will go smoothly. No hang-ups. Famous final words.

This morning they do replace the bad drawers. They are the right color. They work great. The trip is good and it didn't take too long. Here's the problem; all the plastic parts around the drawers, right and left side, look like they used a giant crow bar to pry the drawer assembly out. All the plastic dash area around the drawers is chewed up, scratched and has chunks missing. There is a 6" scratch on the right dash that runs all the way down over the glove compartment door. The drawers look good. The dash is trashed. Now I'm pissed.

I go back into the service area where there are about 20 people waiting and maybe 8-9 workers behind desks. The service guy sees me and says (innocently) "Is everything OK?" I try to restrain myself, failing only slightly and say in a very loud voice, "No, some idiot turned my new car's dash into something that looks like the moon's surface. The damn thing looks like a 20 year old piece of crap now. What, do you have little kids with crow bars working on our cars or something?" You could have heard a pin drop in that previously busy place. He comes out from the counter and asks if he can see it and I tell him that he's damn right he's going to see it and he will be fixing it too.

Sidebar: I noticed the looks on the other customers faces at my outbursts and somehow I was enjoying it. I guess I'm weird that way.

So, Mr. Service checks it out and mutters a few curse words. Then we go back inside and another service guy asks what was up and he tells him that someone has mangled my dash. I look over at Mr. Service #2 and say, real loud, "Did you hear that clearly enough? It's mangled!" To my surprise, #2 looks quickly down at his papers with a smile starting on his face. I guess I cracked him up.

To end this story, I will now be going back to the shop next week a fourth time for the dash parts to be replaced. I spent a half hour getting my ass kissed and hearing promises of 'getting it right next time', to which I only replied "Uh huh. We'll see." Today I'm getting in touch with the big cheese. They are forking over some gas or an oil change or something for this. Four trips for 'a simple repair.' Sheesh!

(I have more to tell about the people that were there, but that will have to wait for later. People are funny and I like watching them!)

Wednesday, January 19, 2005


WTF is up with the Blogger today? I've lost 2 posts and it's a bitch leaving comments. Sheesh!!!

OK, I feel a little better now. Thanks.

Office Affair

Office affair update, continued from this post:

On Monday cgrl (cheater girl) made some kind of special cake type thing. People here make stuff and/or buy stuff and bring it in to share with everyone. Normally it is left in the kitchen type area and people just help themselves. She gave the whole thing to cg (cheater guy). She told him to stash it in his desk so no one else would get any. It was his ‘Sweet Treat’. Personally, I couldn’t care less. But she made the mistake of carrying it in from her car, stopping to talk to people while holding it and then it disappeared. Plus, cg’s neighbor in the next cubicle heard her saying that she made his favorite sweet treat just for him.

Tuesday the group had a meeting. Cg and cgrl were sitting close again. Cg needed a volunteer to help with a special project in February that will require some weekend work. Specifically starting Friday nights and most of the remainder of the weekend. Surprisingly, cgrl didn’t speak up. One of the other people of the group volunteered. So it’s a done deal, right? Wrong. Soon after the meeting broke up, cg sent out an e-mail to everyone stating that cgrl had volunteered to help with the project. She would be helping and no one else was needed.

The person who had originally volunteered has done the very same thing before. She has worked with the equipment and knows the programs very well. She was the right person for the job. Cgrl has never done any work on this type of project. But she is his choice. Gee, how surprising.

Well, it’s snowing here today. It was to be expected I guess. Anyway, cgrl was wrapped up in this ridiculous amount of winter gear to go from this building to the next one. She looked like the little kid in ‘A Christmas Story’ when his Mom bundled him up. As she went by cg’s cubicle, he grabbed her by the arm and said “You don’t need that coat to keep you warm baby.” She giggled and said, “Did you think I forgot already?” I guess they forgot that there was someone in the cubicle right next to them. Dopes.

What we need is someone to come in on one of those late nights, just to make sure things are going well. It will be interesting to see what happens. These two are getting even more and more brazen about their ‘friendship’. I’d think they would be more careful. Whatever. It makes for a real live soap opera for the rest of us.

Stupid People Mini-Rant

Some people are stupid. I just walked across the parking area from one building to another and this dork in a car followed me all the way. He was to my left, the direction I eventually needed to go, but matching my speed. Now, I know I don’t walk as fast as a car can go, so I’m walking slower, impatiently waiting for this guy to get past so I can turn and get to the door.

Of course, it doesn’t work out that way. When I stop to let Slow Poke Rodriguez pass, the dumb ass stops also. Then he just stares at me. Yeah, like I’m just going to walk right out in front of you. Sorry, I don’t trust someone as stupid as you pal. You could have been far past me and out the gate before I got to this point. No way am I trusting you now.

Now, it’s freezing outside and I’m not one to stand still until I’m a popsicle, so finally I just went around the back of dipshits’ car. He looked at me like I was doing something horrible.

Geez! Why is it so difficult just to get across a parking lot? This could be another interesting day.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Supermarket Irony

Tonight on the way home I had to make a quick stop at the grocery store. No big deal, just needed to restock the Cherry Pepsi supply. So I get inside and head for the soda aisle and when I was almost there, I noticed an old friend. She was someone I worked with for several years, most of which we were pretty close friends. I hadn’t seen her for some time. So I walk up behind her and lean close to her shoulder and say as sexy as I can, “Hey baby. Shop here often?”

Imagine her surprise when she turned around and saw… a complete stranger. Nope. I’m not kidding. She didn’t know me. I didn’t know her. I’d never seen her before in my life.

I just stood there for what seemed like forever with my mouth hanging wide open, blushing hard. I knew I was blushing because I got really hot. Did you ever have such an embarrassment that you felt your face turn to fire? Well, that was me.

After a few seconds of looking me over, she looked me right in the eye and with a half smirk on her face she said quietly “Excuse me?”

This is one of those times, rare for me, that I was at a loss. She was waiting, I couldn’t read her thoughts and I couldn’t speak.

Finally I managed to tell her I was sorry. That I thought she was someone else. She wasn’t buying that either. The conversation went like this:

Me: I am so sorry. I thought you were an old friend of mine.
She: Uh huh. Well, what’s this supposed friends name?
Me: (Realizing she was testing me.) Her name is ---- ----. She’s from ------. Do you know her?
She: Nope. Never heard of her. So, I look like her?
Me: Oh yes. You really look like her. More from the back, but… (Oops!)
She: So you prefer seeing women from the rear?
Me: That’s not what I meant. I just meant that I didn’t look close enough before I put my foot in my mouth.
She: So you’d prefer I turn around so you can get a closer look?
Me: …???… (I wasn’t getting yet that she was thoroughly enjoying my discomfort.)
She: (Turning around, talking over her shoulder.) So, is your friend prettier than me?
Me: (Immediately) Nope. No way. I must be tired or something. You are much prettier than her. (YB on the rebound from dopesville.) I don’t know how I missed it.
She: (Laughing now.) I’m sorry. I just can’t help messing with you. That was the cheesiest pseudo pick up line I’ve ever heard.
Me: It was supposed to be cheesy. I was joking.
She: Yeah, I believe you… now. At first I thought you were some freak, but after seeing your reaction, I know you are being honest. Do you always mess with your lady friends like that?
Me: Always…..

After this, we stood and talked for a while. She actually turned out to be very nice. She was 23, just finishing up college. We chit-chatted for a while (Anyone who knows me knows how I despise small talk) but the embarrassment never really left me. Even though she was friendly afterward, I couldn’t shake it.

Now comes the real surprise:
Me: Well, I’ve gotta go. It’s been nice meeting you, even under these circumstances.
She: OK. Thanks for the free entertainment. The grocery store isn’t usually this fun.
Me: Well, I’m glad you’re understanding. Next time I run into you here, I’ll try to come up with something better.
She: Well, how about we don’t wait for a shopping trip.
Me: (Total blank stare.) Huh?
She: This turned out to be fun. We should get together some time.
Me: Uhhh… You know I’m married, right?
She: Yeah, that’s OK. You seem like a nice guy. I think we could have fun hanging out.
Me: (Sorely tempted, to be honest.) Uhmm… Much as I’d like to, I just can’t do that. (Now I’m embarrassed for a totally different reason.) It’s been nice meeting you. And any other time in my life…..
She: OK. Are you sure? I'm serious.
Me: I wish.
She: OK. Have it your way.

And she walked away, leaving me stunned. I’ll never know for sure if she was testing me to see if maybe I was just using a cheesy pick-up line on her earlier or if she really did want to get together with a married guy.

Why didn’t things like that happen when I could explore the possibilities? Damn the luck. If I had tried, I couldn’t have come up with a line that would get her talking to me like that. I accidentally hit the right one. Not at the right time. Figures.

All I wanted was some Cherry Pepsi.

Sex Quiz

Lynn's thinking naughty thoughts with this quiz. (Good girl!)

Your sex scenes are pure porn, you dirty thing.
What kind of sex scene do you write?

brought to you by Quizilla

Pimpin Ain't Easy...

Thanks to Grace, I know what my Pimp name is. I'm Dopetastic B. Flash

Yankeebob's Pimp name is Bishop Don bob Slither. (I wonder why the b isn't capitalized?)

What's your Pimp name?

Sometimes It's Hard To Grow Up

When I was a kid, I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. Other kids wanted to be Cops, Firemen, Doctors, Movie Stars & Rock Singers. I wanted to be a Private Eye.

I always thought that looked like the coolest job. I was hooked on the old movies with Sam Spade, and Phillip Marlow, The Singing Detective. Charlie Chan, Mike Hammer, Lew Archer & Easy Rawlins. Dashiell Hammett's books kept me fascinated for hours. This was what I thought would be so cool to do.

These guys, especially Sam & Phillip, had it all. They had adventure, they got to duke it out with people and win. They got to do shots of liquor during work hours and they always got the girl. The babes always wanted them. With the exception of Sherlock Holmes, who never got a girl, but was the best thinker of them all. I planned to incorporate all these skills into just one person, me.

How cool were these guys? They weren't the law. They weren't the bad guys. They were somewhere in between. They were smarter than the law. They were tougher than the bad guys and they were sexier than everybody else. What's not to like? I'd imagine that I would end up like Steve Martin's Rigby Reardon in Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid. I'd probably bumble around a lot, but get the job done.

Then I discovered the 'Super Spies'. They were a step above the Gumshoes. I liked this idea even better. Guys like James Bond, agent 007. Our Man (Derek) Flint and Matt Helm. (Austin Powers is my current hero.) These guys really had it all. In addition to the advantages of the Private Eyes, they had unlimited access to the greatest gadgets and weapons in the world. They got 5-6 babes during every caper compared to waiting until the end to get one babe. The best part? The license to kill.

How does one apply for this license? These guys would get into a scrap and just blast the bad guys. Or smash them or drown them or kill them with hot wax. Whatever was available, they were allowed to use it. Matt Helm even had a gun that fired backwards. He let the bad guys try to use it on him and they would shoot themselves. Too cool!

I can see it now. The Cops show up at the crime scene and say "OK pal, you're under arrest!" Then I could whip out my LTK and they would read it and have to let me go. "Yeah Charlie, it's one of those licenses again. I guess that 88 year old lady in the wheelchair got what was coming to her."

I can see me ending up like Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 of Control. Totally screwing things up, but always winning in the end. Plus, who wouldn't want to hang out with Agent 99? Rowr!

Yeah, I had it all figured out. This was what I wanted. Now, here I sit, behind a desk planning what electronic gadget I'll be working on today that will keep this place going. Nothing to do with saving the world from genius masterminds or evil villains. Just the every day stuff that reminds me of the dreams of the young. Oh well.

Sometimes when things are slow I'll get into a Walter Mitty frame of mind and remember that I can turn these boring, everyday routines into something much more interesting. Today might well be one of those days. Today, I'll become mild mannered Yankeebob working for the forces of truth, justice and the pursuit of all that is female, ready at a moments notice to jump to the aid of anyone anywhere oppressed by tyranny and evilness. Ready for my alter ego, Yankeebond to emerge and save the day!

Yeah right. Time to get to work.

Monday, January 17, 2005

Andy Rooney Says.....

I'm not much for these kind of posts but since I first saw this I've tried to find something to disagree with here. I can't.

Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

Latest Poll Results

Here are the latest Poll results. I love it that there are not only a lot of SpaghettiOs lovers but also a lot of cheesy old movie lovers.

The new Poll is posted. (Right sidebar) In honor of the awards season, we'll see which awards show, if any, our blogger friends care about.

Previous Poll:

What really is the sauce on the SpaghettiOs?

Excess Army Surplus spaghetti sauce. 4% 1
An alien mind control concoction they are using to take over the world. 4% 1
A Government mind control concoction. 4% 1
Liquified left over food stuff from JLo's weddings. 4% 1
Just a really bad recipe. (Who could eat that stuff?) 17% 4
Just a really yummy recipe. (Gotta love it!) 30% 7
Soylent Green with food coloring added. 35% 8

23 votes total

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Love Ya, Hate Ya

***Caution: Another Relationships post. Run away if you don't want to hear any more relationship crap from YB.

Did you ever hear someone say they have a "love/hate" relationship? I've heard this again recently and it started me thinking about the idea. I came to this conclusion: Aren't they all "love/hate"?

No matter what type of relationship you enter into, there are times when you absolutely love it. Sometimes you can't get enough interaction with the object of you affections, whether it's a spouse, a friend, a kid or even a dog. Sometimes it's great.

Sometimes it's just a push. The time spent is just that, time spent. Nothing special. More importantly, no harm done.

But sometimes, you find reasons to hate the relationship. Sometimes the object of affection says or does something so hurtful that you suddenly realize that there is a part there that you don't like. There is a part of everyone that isn't quite up to your personal standards. Let's face it, we cannot find 'the perfect partner'. We may find good ones. Never will there be a perfect match.

The problem with the bad side emerging is that it leaves scars. The scars don't go away. Maybe they are atoned for. Maybe they are totally accidental incidents, but they don't leave our psyche. We remember them and the bad memories build up.

There's and old saying, "You will soon forget with whom you've laughed. You will never forget with whom you've wept." That's what I'm getting at. Over time, the bad incidents pile up until you may start to believe that you are into something that you don't want anymore. You feel like the person isn’t the same, even if they are. No 2 people grow together always. None will always see eye to eye all the time. But over time the small conflicts, that should be considered a natural occurrence, build up until true affection begins to wane.

That's why I believe all relationships are love/hate. It's impossible to have one without the other. How the couples decide to handle the conflicts and differences is the key to their continuing or not.

Nope, I have no idea why these things occur to me. I just think too much sometimes.

The Manliness Continues...

My trip to Starbuck's this morning was interesting. (Sorry Suz, I used the "S" word again) I got there at about the same time I usually do on weekends. As I stood around talking to the Barrista, I noticed that there were no women there. None. None working, none visiting.

I think that's kinda weird. There were 3 guys working. There were quite a few patrons. 2 guys sitting at tables. A line of about 5-6 guys. But no women.

I guess today is a manly coffee day. Maybe women are skipping coffee today, or at least skipping Starbuck's coffee today. (I know better Meritt.)

At any rate, I don't think I liked it much. Unlike other manly guys, I prefer the manliness to include women. So hopefully my next visit won't be so testosterone laden.

Friday, January 14, 2005

Someone's Reality, But Who's?

Last night I was flipping through channels and when I checked out VH1 there was this weird show on. It was goofy as hell. This new show had Bridgette Nielson, her 25 year old fiance, and Flava Flav in it. Apparently it is some kind of reality (?) show where Bridgette is engaged to this young guy and Flav is chasing her around Europe trying to win her away from him. (It sounded like Italian, so I'm going to say they were in Italy, at least last night.) This is the new reality for VH1?

First, I have to say that the young guy did not, by any means, seem the least bit interested in Bridgette. He just seemed bored.

Second, Bridgette looks rough! Who is supposed to believe that that young, good looking guy is engaged to her?

Third, who could possibly put up with Flava Flav for longer than 10 minutes at a time? That guy is sooo obnoxious, he would need valium to bring him down to 'normal people' level.

This has to be the most far fetched, unbelievable, worst acted show I've ever seen. The 'Fiance' looks totally disinterested, Flav is totally out there and Bridgette looks like she's their Grandmother. No way could anyone believe they have a love interest in her.

I've been thinking reality TV (so called) is going too far. After hearing about the plans to have guys competing for the right to be a woman's sperm donor, I thought they couldn't get weirder. Shows what I know.

You gotta see this one to believe it. I couldn't take more than 10 minutes. Good luck.

***I wrote this post earlier today, but somehow saved it as a draft instead of actually posting it. Duh!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

A Manly Night

Well, tonight was a manly night. I had to flex my manliness genes for a while. Granted, this doesn't happen too often, but it's good to do every now and then if for no other reason, just to be sure I still can.

I bought this cool Craftsman Workstation last week and Spacebrain helped me move it home tonight (since he has a truck and I don't). Sucker was a bit heavy too.

Of course, once it was unpacked, there was 'some assembly required'. But we all know this isn't a problem for a manly man. So I pretended to be one and got my tools out. I laid out all the parts, looked at the instructions and got to work.

Once I started I realized I had already made a giant mistake. I looked at the instructions. Oops! Manly men don't do that. So I promptly threw them away and did what any self respecting he-man would do, I picked up each piece and held it in places that looked like a spot it should go, putting things together that way. I assembled some pieces in spots that just didn't work out and had to disassemble them again. But I wasn't about to break the manly code, so I kept at it. This made the assembly go a tad... oops! can't say tad... it's not very masculine.. made the assembly more of a challenge, but tonight I was manly. I was roughing it, damn it!

After a few hours of assembly and re-assembly, I finally got my manly Craftsman workstation put together. It is beautiful! It holds all my tools in an orderly fashion... oops again!... All my tools and stuff goes into it. It's got power strips, lights, holders for drills and even a beer holder. I can do anything now. I'm ready to build stuff!

All I have to say after this experience tonight is, "Damn, I just don't know what idiot made this damn thing but the damn thing sure was a damn puzzle. Not too damn hard for me though damn it! I'm a man!"

Brown Shoe Diaries

OK, so after Peachy's comment about the shoes looking the same, (see comments from the previous post) I decided to do a poll. I asked several people and the consensus is that they look quite a bit different when time is taken to check them out, but they are both brown, so no one bothers to look too closely. Lesson learned, wear a white tennis shoe with a brown dress shoe next time. It's kind of a let down, but what the hey.

I did get some interesting stories from people who have accidentally worn 2 different shoes. Even our V.P. told me about a time when she had 2 pairs of the same shoe, but they were different colors. One day she didn't notice that she grabbed a dark blue one and a brown one. Apparently this story is common.

I also heard stories about people forgetting to wear stuff. Not fun stuff, but jewelry and watches. One person forgot her earrings and necklace and it bugged her so much, she went back home to get them. Is this common? She said she felt naked without her jewelry. I don't know if that would bug me that much. Maybe it's different for women?

Anyway, today's experiment is kind of a bust. It has been fun. I'm holding out hope for someone to notice without being prompted, but it may not happen.

What Will This Day Bring?

OK, I'm in a very strange mood today. I can't promise what mayhem will ensue around me, but I'll let you know. For starters, I decided to conduct an experiment in peoples observation levels. I'm wearing 2 totally different shoes. Yep, I'm at work in a (supposedly) professional atmosphere, but my shoes do not match in any way. We'll see who notices.

I guess I'm in a good mood since last night. My Uncle was hospitalized with a mild heart attack the night before and when I visited yesterday (yep, YB is living in hospitals this past month) he is in great shape. They found some kind of clot in an artery, cleaned it out and say he'll be 100% in no time. Good news. My Uncle is the greatest guy, bar none, I've ever had the priveledge of knowing. The only real father figure I knew growing up. So this morning, some worry is gone, which always is a boost. I think I'll pass it on today.

Any people tests you wish to pass on, today is the day for it. I'll be looking over Meritt's list for some help. All in all, this should be a good day.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

The Promised Office Affair Update

I guess I get behind with this (continued from this post) because I feel a little guilty telling everyone. Also, there just isn’t too much to tell from week to week. At any rate:

I walked by cg’s (cheater guy) cubicle and cgrl (cheater girl) was there, as usual. I remember thinking as I went past, “OK, she’s standing right up against him at his desk. Yo, that cubicle doesn’t hide you that well, especially when people are walking by!” She really was standing tightly against him as he was sitting there, leaning over his shoulder, looking at something on his computer screen. When I got near, they started talking business. I know they were faking it because I was standing a short distance away for a few minutes and they weren’t talking business then. The volume went up as I approached. The quiet laughs stopped.

One of the ladies in this building headed back to the kitchen area to heat up her lunch yesterday. When she got close to the door, she heard cgrl saying “…is just like the other night when we had to hide from…” She said when she heard those words, she just turned around and left, waiting until they left the area.

During a meeting we had last week they sat next to each other and their knees touched the whole time. The end of the table is round and I was to the right of them, so I could see clearly. When she sat down next to him, she slid her chair right up against his and they moved closer so that their legs were touching from the knees down. I remember doing things like that. It is cozy, especially when you think you are getting away with something.

One of the Engineers said he thinks they’re dating. He watched them chatting quietly at cg’s desk, then they went around the corner where it’s more private, to cgrl’s desk. Engineer guy just looked around and said “I think they’re dating.” I guess it’s obvious to everybody now.

During the Holidays, it was so obvious when they both had the same days off. The one day cg came in (in the middle of the week for some weird reason???) he came into our area, grabbed some coffee and slyly mentioned that he hadn’t seen cgrl yet. He wanted to know if we had seen her. I wanted to answer that I hadn’t seen her since the day before, knowing that they both were off with the same weird schedule, just to see his reaction. Before I could, she came walking through and he followed her down the walkway. Drats! Foiled again!

I need to plan some good lines like that so that when the opportunity arises, I’m not stumbling around with it. It should sound natural, assuming I don’t laugh first.

I wonder if they really think no one is onto them?

Human Observations

I’ve noticed that a lot of people who ask for an opinion really aren’t interested in it. Mostly they want to hear it for one of 2 reasons. One, so they can agree with someone. Then they can both pat each other on the back, trading ego biscuits because both people feel superior. Far superior to those who haven’t figured out how inferior they are for having an opposite opinion.

Second, they may disagree. That is a short cut for them to superior-dom. They’ve got the person right there who obviously knows less than them and they already are much smarter. Then they get to lump that person in with all those other losers of the world that ‘just don’t get it’ in real time. This is a very common occurrence.

Have you ever had a morning where your partner wakes up totally wound-up, really full of energy? The type of morning where they are so ready to get the day started that they are border-line obnoxious about it? I experienced one of those this past weekend. Unfortunately, it was a morning when I was totally the opposite, ready to fall asleep at any moment. I tried to get into the swing, but I have to say that I was hating life for a while. I needed quiet time to ease into waking up. There was none. It became so irritating that I hurried through the morning routine and raced outside to get to Starbuck’s. After that I was ready for the day. Maybe that was her plan all along?

Have you ever been told that someone was boring? Or worse, been told you were boring? (I have a friend who was called this recently, by a guy in a bar who’s intentions were obvious.) It’s a weird statement. To me, people are only boring to those who think their way is right and the person they are judging is wrong. If you really want to know someone and are truly are interested in knowing them, you can't find them boring. Different from you, maybe, but not boring. Boring to me means irrelevant. I don’t think anyone can be considered irrelevant. Annoying maybe. Obnoxious, different, silly, stupid & lots of other things. Lots of things that keep you from being interested in knowing them any better than you already do. But no one is irrelevant.

Now, there are people who want you to be something you’re not. Like say, ‘easy’. Or supportive of their desires even if they are selfish and stupid. Well they might find you boring. Only because you won't give them what they want. But those people usually aren't worth knowing anyway. They become irrelevant in your future world. But the discussions about them probably aren’t boring.

Well, those are a few observations I’ve had this morning. Funny how things just pop into your head and you find yourself thinking about them for a while.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Kill Bill Quiz.....

..... that I got from Grace has been killed.

Dan Rather Is A Bum

This whole Dan Rather thing is annoying. Not that they got busted being stupid. But that they still try to cover up their true intentions. CBS News is biased to liberal views. How hard is it to admit it? I’d have more respect for them if they would just admit the obvious. The whole past year their intent, along with the 60 minutes crew, was to hurt President Bush’s re-election chances. It’s blatantly obvious. Just fess up and move on.

Personally, I don’t care if the news people have an agenda. Big deal. The CBS, ABC, NBC and CNN news groups are all liberal mouthpieces intent on indoctrination of the masses by constantly repeating their views over and over. The old ‘Say it often enough and people start to believe it’ scam.

What I don’t like is the way they hide behind bullshit dogma and fuzzy explanations to try to keep up the false persona that they are unbiased. (I hear FOX News is like that, but I don’t watch them either.) People are stupid, but anyone with any interest and intelligence has already figured out the truth.

To me, if you are going to do something or believe in some philosophy but have to hide it, maybe you shouldn’t be doing/believing it. The only place to get news without the ‘indoctrination of the masses’ slant anymore is via the Internet anyway. Soon, the big networks news shows will just be funny pseudo-reality shows that well informed people watch for laughs.

Kudos to Bloggers for helping to change the world.

Monday, January 10, 2005

Quite The Resolution!

I needed a New Year's resolution and thanks to CL, this is mine:

In the year 2005 I resolve to:

Fart in public.

Get your resolution here

The Highwayman Revisited…..

...or the continuing saga of the morning commute.

This morning we find our hero, The Highwayman, traveling his well known perilous route of destiny when suddenly his super senses detect the most feared enemy of the road. Yes, you guessed it, Deputy Barney Fife, complete with his one bullet, has sneaked up behind our hero using his talent for near invisibility that always wreaks havoc on highway travelers. But unlike any normal road racers, our hero never panics. Calling on his customary cool, calm demeanor, our hero slowly eases his way into the center lane, knowing that Deputy Fife will pass him by. Officers of the law never pay any attention to the laws when it pertains to them and the Highwayman knows this.

As the deputy slowly passes our hero, the Highwayman slowly increases speed, matching the patrol cars rate. Experience has taught our hero that this is a safe move and he has done it many times. Besides, the exit for the Deputy is coming soon and this pace will not be forced on him for long.

As the exit for the Police Barracks comes into view, the Highwayman notices something strange. Deputy Fife has stayed in the far left lane and has begun to go slightly faster. Hmm... this starts to raise the hairs on our heroes’ neck in warning. His superior senses warn him that this may be some nefarious scheme just to try to trap him and spoil his perfect record of semi-peaceful commuting. The Highwayman doesn’t bite. He stays in the center lane, cruise control locked on, all systems operating at maximum efficiency as the Deputy moves farther ahead with several less experienced drivers following behind like ducks following their Momma.

Very soon our hero sees his instincts were right. Following Deputy Fife and his duckies is an unmarked Sheriff’s car complete with a Roscoe P. Coltrane wanna-be. Just as our hero suspected, a rolling speed-trap! Zounds! As he passes the Highwayman, the Sheriff glances over with distain in his beady eyes, already knowing he has missed his opportunity for catching our hero. As if he ever will! With a sneer on his lips and a gleam in his eye, the Highwayman acknowledges the officer with a slight nod. No sense in being rude. Roscoe must be frustrated knowing his feeble attempts at matching the Highwayman’s skills will always be to no avail.

After a few minutes, the Highwayman sees ahead just what he expected; Deputy Fife and the Sheriff have 3 hapless commuters pulled alongside the highway, issuing them the ruination of their day in the form of a speeding ticket. The rolling speed-trap has once again trapped the lesser commuters, but not the Highwayman.

As our hero passes by, Deputy Fife, with his one bullet clenched between his teeth like a cold, metal cigar stub, glares at his adversary. The Highwayman proceeds ahead, straight ahead, steady course, once again feeling the calm satisfaction of surviving the morning commute. Once again defeating the enemies on the road, the Highwayman prepares to face the day knowing he has a momentary respite from the enemies of the highway, until another time...........

Tune in again next time for the continuing saga of, The Morning Commute.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Right Hand. Avant Garde Art for CL & Autumn. Posted by Hello

Left Hand. Avant Garde Art for CL & Autumn. Posted by Hello

Gimme A Smooch

Have you ever been talking to someone and suddenly the thought pops into your head that they would be a good kisser?

Recently I’ve found myself twice wondering what it would be like to kiss someone I was talking to. Nothing but a kiss. No sexual thoughts, no wondering what they looked like naked. None of that. Just kiss. (Maybe more than one?)

The 2 occasions were very similar. I was just talking with a friend and I noticed (in both situations) they had what appeared to me to be very kissable lips. This thought hit me pretty quick during the first encounter, so I had a long time to roll it around in my head. The second time, I didn’t have as much time, but there was enough.

Some people just look kissable. They have a nice shaped mouth with perfect proportioned lips and they look like they’d be good kissers. A person like that can be very distracting to someone like me who actually enjoys his intrusive thoughts.

Excuse me now while I go practice my lip-ups.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Football Blues

OK, I'm watching some Football. I'm trying to be bi in my sports watching. It's hard to keep any interest though. There's just too much game going on between shots of the cheerleaders. I need to write to the network guys about this.

(Can anyone tell I miss Basball?)

Zings, The Shoes Of Champions

I was in the Mall recently looking at all the brands of ‘athletic shoes’. That’s what they are called now. When I was younger, they were called ‘sneakers’. Seeing all the variety, I started thinking about the difference between now and when I was in school.

When I was in Junior High School, the status symbol was what kind of sneakers you wore. That was the King of all things important. You had to have cool sneakers or you were a loser.

The old standby was the classic Chuck’s, Converse All Stars. The really cool people had those. The Pro Keds with the blue and red stripes in front, right on the rubber part, those were considered cool too. I had those, dark blue high tops with one white and one red string in each shoe. I was cool!

Then you had the super expensive sneakers that the really rich kids had or the jocks had like Adidas (they were rare back then), Fila, that Bjorn Borg made famous and K-Swiss. K-Swiss was very rare when I was in Junior High and the few who had them were considered the best of the best.

Then you had the ‘other kids’ who didn’t wear the cool shoes. The biggest insult when I was in 8th grade was telling someone they wore Zings. Zings were the $2.00 K-Mart sneakers. If you weren’t cool, you wore Zings. Even if you didn’t actually wear them, you still got that label.

It’s funny how stuff like that affects you later in life. After I got to High School, I discovered Wilson. Wilson shoes, sports equipment, clothes, Wilson everything. This came from being on the Tennis team and Wilson is big with Tennis stuff. For years, all I would buy was Wilson stuff. With the exception of Nike shoes. Once I discovered Nike tennis shoes, that was it. I didn’t even look at any other brands.

If I had stayed with just Tennis, I would have been OK, but playing Baseball/Softball and Golf, well Wilson isn’t quite the big name there. Nike wasn’t bad, but Wilson was. For years I played Golf with these old Wilson clubs that even good golfers couldn’t hit the ball with. I used Wilson balls that felt like rocks when you hit them. I even bought this cool looking Wilson bat one year when I played softball. When it struck the ball it thunked. A weird sounding thunk very much unlike the good bats others were using. But I didn’t care. I had a Wilson bat.

I was hard core about not changing brands too. Nothing but Wilson. Nothing but Nike.
I think it all goes back to those days when your sneaker brand was your status. Your identity with your peers depended on having the same things others had. Having the 'cool' stuff. I tend to be fiercely loyal, sometimes to a fault. So I intended to be loyal to my favorite brands. How weird is that? Loyal to a big company that doesn’t even know you exist. Loyal to brands that didn’t help your game and at times, hindered it.

I’m not like that any more. Actually, I can’t even find a pair of Nikes that they could give me to wear. They all look like some clown shoes or something out of the costume department of a bad sci-fi movie. Nope, I’ve learned my lesson with the status symbol clothes, shoes and sports equipment. It’s weird to think about those days, but I am glad they are gone. At least for me. I’m sure the kids today have some similar things they ‘just have to have’. I’m sure there are some ‘status symbol’ things still lurking in the schools today.

But what I’m really curious about right now is, I wonder if they still sell Zings?

Fat Heads Day

Have you ever called someone Fat Head? Try it. It’s a fun thing to say. “Hey you, Fat Head!” For some reason I recently discovered that like I that name. It encompasses a lot of things.

Like the obvious issue of someone acting like a jerk, “What a Fat Head!” Or someone who does something dumb, “Geez, Fat Head!” Or the one I use the most, the idiot driver, “Outta my way Fat Head!” “Where’d you get your license, Fat Head School!?!”

It’s not necessarily a bad term either. If you’re goofing around with a friend, you can call him/her a Fat Head and they’ll just call you something back. (I believe guys are more prone to this type of ranking, but I’ve heard girls doing it too.) Or you could be with a friend and they could do something silly. Then you can tell them they are being a Fat Head.

I don’t think there’s any way that referring to someone as being Fat Headed can be positive though. If someone is Fat Headed in your mind, then they probably aren’t your favorite person. Or if something is Fat Headed in your mind, it’s probably not your first choice.

Sometimes you can just feel Fat Headed. There are some mornings where my brain just doesn’t start up quickly and I’ll think to myself, “Am I going to be a Fat Head all day?”

Over all, I think it’s not that bad a thing. There are worse insults to be made. There are worse to be had. There are better compliments in the world too. (Who wants to be told they have a good looking fat head?) Generally, it’s a fun term and I use it quite often, mostly just in my mind. Telling a Fat Head that they are a Fat Head could get me a bump on my Fat Head, so I’ll keep it mostly to myself. But you never know just what I’m thinking, so don’t be a Fat Head around me. You may be paying for it somewhere in the darkest reaches of my Fat Head. ;)

Friday, January 07, 2005

Ashlee Simpson

I just read this article about Ashlee Simpson's performance at the Orange Bowl. Apparently it stunk. It's the second recent major malfunction in her singing career.

Maybe she isn't a singer. Maybe she's just having a run of bad luck. I don't know, but I know this; I feel bad for her. The SNL lip syncing thing was bad, but to be booed and jeered at by 100,000 people at a live performance? Well that must suck.

I really feel bad for her.

Go ahead, let the hassling begin.

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do?

I heard Donald Trump on the radio this morning talking about how some study showed that married people tend to be healthier, probably due to less stress. Now, I'm not so sure about that one. Personally, I feel much more stress when I'm involved in a relationship. In the past I never seemed to know what was going on, how to act and/or react 'properly', or just in general when I should just shut-up and let things alone. I guess I tended to be a little late on realizing the way things were going. So now I'm always on edge, looking for whatever could be happening that my natural personality tends to miss.

I really believe it's much easier to break up with someone than to keep things going in a good direction. Even when it's been someone breaking up with me. Only once in my life do I remember someone dumping me that I really had a hard time with it. I deserved it too. That realization didn't help.

I've had some classic break-ups too. I remember one time I stopped by my girlfriends work to see what we were doing the next time we got together. It was like a scene from Seinfeld (Seinfeld again?). I asked about that evening, but she couldn't make it. Then I asked about the weekend, but she was busy. Then I asked about the next week, but she was still busy. ??? Finally she admitted that, when it came to time with me, she was busy for the rest of her life. I was a bit stunned. We had been seeing each other for over a year. After a few seconds of shocked silence, I just laughed. That didn't get me any brownie points, but it just seemed so funny to me the way this was happening. She and I ended up still being friends, but she admitted to me years later that my reaction pissed her off. I guess she wanted me to be more upset.

I had a girlfriend right after high school that just decided one day that she wanted to get married to her old boyfriend. A guy she hadn't seen for over a year. (Maybe she was seeing him at the same time as me?) I went over to her place one night and that was the first thing she said. (Another time I was surprised.) I was too young and not that much attached to be very upset about it, so I wished her well and got ready to leave. She stopped me and said that she didn't want to break up officially until the weekend was over so that we could have sex all weekend first. Now what guy wouldn't like a break up like that? Sex all weekend without strings attached. She did marry the old boyfriend, had a baby and divorced him within 2 years. I wonder if he got a free weekend?

I once was dumped in high school because I didn't try to have sex with my girlfriend. She told everybody that I was too slow for her. ??? This was a new concept for me. I only knew the girl for 2 weeks.

I was dumped once because I was too short. Made me wonder who she was looking at all those times we were together. Did I look taller at some point? She was 5'7", I'm 5'6". It meant something to her.

I stopped seeing someone once because she moved to Maine. That's quite a long way away from Maryland. She didn't have to and I asked her not to. I had a good career path going, she was unemployed. There really wasn't any reason for her to move except 'she always wanted to live there'. So I ended it. She was pissed! She argued with me that she 'planned' on coming to visit at least every 6 months or so. Yeah, that's a good base for building a relationship. "Nice seeing you! See you again in 6 months! Umm, what was your name again?" She was so mad. Writing me letters and cussing me out, telling me that I wasn't the guy she thought I was. Sorry babe. Every 6 months would be fun to have a friend visit, but I can't take you seriously as a potential long term partner.

All in all, my experience with relationships is that they are easy to get into and easy to get out of but very difficult to keep going. If we could just keep getting into new relationships and then ending them quickly, I think the stress level of the world would be much more manageable.

Breaking up is hard to do? I don't think so.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Yes, Yet Another Quiz

I glommed this one from El Sid. I like these bunny pics.

kiss my ass2
congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy
bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything.
You must be so proud

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I Coulda Been Donald Trump

I just had a grape Pixy Stix. I forgot how much I like those things. It brought back a memory from my childhood. I haven’t thought about this for years.

When I was in 1st grade (yes, a long time ago) we would save pennies so we could stop at the neighborhood candy shop on the way to school. It was one of those Mom & Pop penny candy places, a lot like the ones you see in old movies. Big old glass jars of all kinds of yummy kids stuff.

On this particular day, I had at least a dime, if I remember right. What I do remember is that I could buy a lot of Pixy Stix. I got a pile of them. During school, we couldn’t eat candy, so when lunch time came around, I was Mr. Popular. I was giving the things away.

Soon though, I realized that I was running out, so I stopped handing them out. (I wanted to save some for later.) To my surprise, some of the other kids started offering me money for them. What a concept! That hadn’t occurred to me at all! Being just 6 years old, I really didn’t understand the value of money, so when kids with coins started lining up, I just told them that I would take any coin they had for a Pixy Stix. Some were pennies, some dimes, one even a quarter. I remember being amazed that a kid my age even had a quarter.

After I got home, I remember counting the loot. It totaled $.60! I had scored an additional $.50, even after I had given out a lot of free candy! I quickly hid the loot in the bottom of my toy bin and began to plan my rise to financial bliss. It seemed to me if I could make that much on a $.10 stash, a $.60 stash would make me rich.

Needless to say, on the way to school, I bought all the Pixy Stix I could get. I ended up selling a lot of them and making even more money. I began to do this daily and it never occurred to me to wonder how my patrons seemed to have change every day. I was going to be a millionaire.

So eventually, the Teacher got wise to me. She contacted my parents and several of the other kid’s parents to make sure nothing bad was happening, like the kids stealing to get their fix. Nothing bad was happening. She was watching and saw that I really didn’t know the value of the money or where the kids were getting it, so I didn’t get into any trouble. I just had to shut down all operations. I was bummed.

So there’s my initial venture into capitalism. It was quite a successful venture. If I hadn’t picked school as my place of business, I just might have made my fortune young and be retired already. Ahh, the inexperience of youth!