Thursday, November 30, 2006

Quote Of The Day

I liked this one. Peachy posted it and I 'borrowed' it. Let's see what else we get.

Peachy, I guess we already know what yours would be. Got any others? ;)

Answer This Quote Of The Day:

If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

YB's Disciplinarian Daycare

It was suggested to me this morning that the perfect business for me to open would be a Daycare. Imagine that! YB's Daycare.

I had to think for a moment or two. Then it dawned on me. It would be kinda fun. I could help the little tykes learn a little bit about the world before we actually turn them loose in it. I could also teach them respect which is really lacking in today's youth.

I started liking the idea.

Imagine the impressed looks on the parents faces when they come in for the first time to tour my place. They would love the little school style desks with built in leather restraints. Seatbelts, shoulder harnesses, head restraints to make sure the kids always face forward, leg restraints. Oh yeah, no running around in class in my place.

They would also love the nap room with all the tiny little stainless steel cages for locking up kids. Cages just barely big enough to let them curl up into fetal positions. Nice and cozy. (Thats what they do anyway, right?) No bothersome bedding in there either. Nice cold steel that gets warmer the more they lay on it. Easy to clean up messes. Gotta make sure they get their sleep whether they want to or not.

Then I'd show them the time-out area. The tall chair in the corner with the metal restraints. They would love the pointy dunce cap in the time out area complete with electrodes that attach to the ears for shocking any little kiddies who would dare to try and end their time out sessions prematurely.

Yes, my kids would learn discipline all right.

Then there would be the classes. The "How To Speak With Respect Or Get A Smack In The Head" class that all young people desperately need these days. The "How To Wear Clothes That Fit Properly Or It's Your Ass!" class would be a big hit. And the one I would teach personally, "There Is No Other Baseball Team But The Yankees" class. That would be by far the most popular.

I could have adult continuing education classes too. We could teach the "How Not To Be Like Your Stupid Parent" class. The "How To Discipline Without Leaving Marks" class. The "Politically Correct Is Anti-Individual" class. And my personal favorite, "Dr. Spock Was A Retard" class.

Of course I would handle all the adult disciplining personally.

Yes, I think the idea of me running a daycare would be good for everyone. Kids and parents. I may have to rethink my career direction here. Anyone want to be partners with me?

Monday, November 27, 2006

Monday After A Long Weekend

Mondays after long weekends are the hardest things in the world to endure. I have been enjoying myself for days and now..... blah! Up early, go through the routine, fight traffic, get to work, see people you wouldn't ever care to see again (in any reality), try to muddle through.

Yeah, Blah!

I saw some dumb-ass people on the highway again. I was cruising along and noticed that there was a line in the left lane going almost the speed limit. No traffice in the right lane at all. I counted 11 vehicles all following this one dope, stuck in the left lane. The passing lane. There was no one in the right lane. The slow lane. As I passed them I realized they had to all be followers and that I probably wouldn't like any of them. They stayed that way for miles, just following the leader. A dubious leader at that. Weird.

Nicci and I managed to decorate the house this weekend. 3 days worth of decorating. It really does take that long to finish up. We go a little crazy just because we like to. Plus we always have our annual Christmas Open House and it makes the place super cozy being all Christmasy like that. Anyone want to come over for our party? Lemme know. :)

Our tree has so many ornaments now that I am afraid to get any more. We do get new ones but I think if I put one more on the thing it would fall over. It does look very cool though.

Not much to say about the weekend, I guess. It was nice. Quiet. I did try a new wine. It sorta kicked my butt quick too. It is Behringer White Zinfandel/Chardonney. It went right to my head. But it is seriously good. Try it, you'll like it.

This is one of those lame posts that I make just to fill space. I'll look back a few months from now and remember how I felt when I wrote it so it's OK. I guess I should stop babbling and get something going this morning. Sure.... whatever.....

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Just a quickie post to wish all my bestest buds a Happy Thanksgiving. God bless you all.

xoxo YB

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

So... Why Did I Come In Today?

I can't figure out why I came in to work today. There is nothing happening and a lot of people are outta here. But I do like the lack of population. It's very cool!

I guess I'm here so I don't waste one of my vacation days. That's a good reason. OK, I'll buy it. But I think it will be a boring day.

Plus there is the "lack of motivation on the day before a holiday" issue. It's hard to focus before a long weekend full of the promise of fun and..... well, not going to work. :)

I had an epiphany last night. This may come as a shock to some of you but I don't think I understand relationships like a lot of people do. (Sarcasm?) Specifically the end of them. Perhaps I understand a lot less than most. Yes, this isn't really a surprise. I plan on hashing it out on blogger soon. I just need to get my thoughts together first. But I think either I am way too different about things (as in easy come easy go) or maybe the people I know are way too anal and kinda sad in the way they handle things. Perhaps I don't know anything. We'll see, with a little help from my blog friends.

Anyway, time to find something to get into. See Ya!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My Bruised Buttbone

This morning I bruised my buttbone. Yep, and as embarrassing as that sounds the way I did it was even more embarrassing.

I was sort of leaning on the edge of the bed and I put one sock on. (The new bed is pretty high.) Then I leaned against it to put the other sock on. I felt my foot with the sock start to slip a little but I remember thinking that I had plenty of time to finish and stand up before I fell. Wrong.

My foot with the sock on slipped right out from under me and down I went. Last week it wouldn't have been as bad but the new bed has wooden side rails so my buttbone hit that on the way down. Then it hit the floor. It kinda hurt. ;)

I sat there thinking that what just happened should only happen to kids. They are the ones who usually don't know any better. Kids don't acknowledge the warning signs and have to learn the hard way. But noooo, I let it happen even when I had ample time to avoid the fall.

After I realized my kid-like mistake I just sat there and laughed for a while. Nicci came around the corner, looked at me on the floor, shook her head and walked away. Then I tried to stand up. Ouch! The buttbone is bruised and will remind me for days about my dopeyness. (Is that a word?)

But it still makes me laugh.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Weekend Stuff

I had an interesting weekend, to be sure. I had plans to hang with the band Friday night but that didn't happen. I was really looking forward to it too. But Nicci had different ideas. (Don't ask, it still irritates me.)

Instead I had dinner with my Aunt & Uncle. My Aunt's birthday was Saturday so we took them out to celebrate.

Saturday was weird too. I went to help my Uncle at his store for a while and then helped my Aunt and Mother *shudder* with their indoor yard sale. They have one of those things every year and they get the Firehall meeting room for free. (A side benefit to my Uncle having been the Fire Chief for so many years.) They actuall make out really well. It's pretty funny to see all those old women in there haggling and gossiping all day. Luckily I was only there for about 1.5 hours.

Sunday I went to set up my Mom's PC for her. She just moved and she has no clue about how to do it. First things first; The person who packed it for her needs a smack in the head. That was my first thought. Everything was stuffed into two garbage bags and transported. This is the PC I gave her when I got my new one so luckily I was very familiar with it. But the tangled rat's nest of cables and wires, including the mouse and keyboard, took some time to get straightened out.

I finally got the PC set up and started it only to find that it didn't want to run. As it turned out, she hasn't run her anti-spam filter for months nor has she cleaned out the system. She had 93 different viruses (tracking and data mining ones) and it didn't want to run. She also had 1172 spam emails junking up the thing. No matter how many times I show her how to protect the thing from stuff like that she never does it. It took me 2 hours to get the thing running right again.

Old ladies! Sheesh! No wonder they are victims of identity theft so often.

So my weekend was weird but lame again. Not bad but not great. I think I need a few adventures to get me back on track. I am making plans for some interesting visitations in the near future. That should be fun. Plus I am headed to Williamsburg (The Winery especially!) just before Christmas so that will be cool. Something to look forward to. I guess life can't always be exciting, can it?

Too bad.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Buffy Night

I've had a weird few nights lately. It seems like my life is so normal sometimes but then when I look around with open eyes I know thats not quite the case. Last night it sorta started bugging me. My plans to hang with the band were changed for me and I wasn't real happy all day. At some point I got the Michelle Branch song "Goodbye To You" stuck in my head and I could get it out. So I played the CD a few times and that helped a bit. (I had forgotten how much I love that song.)

Then I started thinking about the first time I heard her sing it. It was on an episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer". She did an acoustic version of it. Only at the end of the song did the whole band join in. It was great. So naturally what did I do? I broke out the Buffy DVDs and watched that episode, "Tabula Rasa". The ending of that one really gets to me. It's so sad.

Then I started think about what had led the Scoobies into the situation in that show and I had to watch the "Once More With Feeling" episode. That is probably my all time favorite one anyway. It's the musical one, a la "Brigadoon". I don't think there has ever been a more original episode of any TV show ever done than "Once More With Feeling".

Of course that started my mind again and I started thinking that it was so sad that Tara was killed at the end of that season. That's when Willow went all crazy witch and started killing the bad guys. (She was so hot in all that goth black!) I had to see that again.

So I ended up watching the last 3 shows of the season, "Villians", "Two To Go" and "Grave".

My evening went well into the morning hours. All of it with Buffy and the Scoobies. I sometimes forget how much I loved that show. I don't get attached to shows at all. These days I can't find any that I can watch regularly. Not like that one. It was kinda fun in an odd, melancholy way. All started because my weird mood brought to mind a song that I hadn't thought about in a while.

And guess what? This morning I still have that song in my head anyway. Go figure.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Just A Thought......

.....on fashion.

Guys and belts with blue jeans. I just don't know. To me it's just wrong somehow.

I think the yuppies made dressing up blue jeans the 'in-thing', didn't they? Or have I been out there somewhere and it just occurred to me to be annoyed by this?

Guys and belts with blue jeans? No thanks.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Ethopian Restaurants

Lately I have been hearing a lot about Ethopian restaurants. My friend Lindsey went to one and then my friend Lisa and another co-worker did too. Two different ones. Before last week I had never even heard of an Ethopian restaurant.

It sounds like an interesting experience. You eat everything with your hands, sort of. They give you some kind of bread and you scoop things up with it.

All I ever heard about the Ethopians was that they were starving over there. Somehow having their restaurants in this country seems wrong. Like... shouldn't they be opening a cheap eats place at home? Helping out their country?

Maybe they send all the leftovers home. That would be good.

Yankees News That Makes Me Happy

I totally forgot to shout-out to the world about how happy this trade the Yankees made has made me....... They finally unloaded Wright for another relief pitcher. Any trade involving him would have been awesome. Personally I think they could have just sat him down and would have gotten as much out of him.

I actually jumped up and high-fived myself when I read this. I just haven't remembered to celebrate here with my Yankee friends yet.

Not only does unloading that bum help the Yanks roster but it hurts the Orioles. Since he will be starting for them *ahem* you can count on a few more losses this year. When he starts that is. He's usually only good for about 1/2 a year anyway.

Good job Yankees. Already the 2007 season is looking good.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

A Day With Peachy

As Peachy mentioned on her blog she and I spent the day yesterday hanging with the old gang and then touring the Aquarium. It was so much fun seeing her and the others. Mostly her. :) Here are a few pics from the day.

Leaving lunch with the gang, minus the one taking the pic. (Thats Spacebrain on the back left.)

The gang again, with the missing member.

Peachy being herself.

Peachy doing her Vanna White impression.

Me at the same spot just looking cool and relaxed.

Peachy in front of the Harbor, showing off her sexy boots. See that building in the backround with the glass pyramid top? That is the Aquarium. We parked on one side of the Harbor and walked all the way around to get to it. But the parking was free!

Me in almost the same spot, chillin. Is there a recurring theme here?

This guy took a liking to us. He was funny looking but had a great personality. ;)

Same guy, trying to get a smootch.

We liked this one because it looks like something from a Dr. Seuss book.

Nice camoflage. If you were standing back and not focused on this spot you could never see this guy hiding, waiting to take a bite out of you.

Snoozing by the waterfall. This is in the Australian Outback exhibit.

Puffins. That guy in front kept splashing water all over the glass. I thought the pic turned out kinda neat. I was also impressed that Peachy knew they were Puffins.

Peachy's favorite... Bats! It's hard to see but those are bats hanging from the top of the Outback cage. (I had to post this one Peachy. Sorry.)

Peachy and a whale bone. I just posted this one because I like it a lot. Isn't she adorable?

Me making funny faces. It was actually worse before Peachy snapped the pic. :)

It was a great day. Thanks Peachy and "The Gang". I could post more but I think I did enough damage. :)

Monday, November 13, 2006

Gross Post Ahead


Ok, you were warned........

I walked into the restroom and there was this old guy in there at the urinal. He was humming as he did his thing. He also was whizzing right into the water so it was loud and splashy. Women may not know what that means to guys so I'll tell you. A guy doesn't have to whiz into the water. He really shouldn't. It's loud and it splashes on his pants and shoes. Gross.

But he was going for it. And enjoying it from the sounds of his tune.

Then he backed away a step and started wagging it. While he zipped up he loudly said, "Ahhhhh..." Then he flushed and once it was done flushing he spit a big loogey into the urinal.

Then he left without washing his hands.

I thought old guys were better mannered than us young guys?

Good thing we aren't a food preparation company, eh?

Weekend Stuff

What a weird weekend we had. Saturday was so amazing outside. It was 78 and sunny.... in November! I couldn't stay inside. I actually went out and mowed the lawn and enjoyed the day. Even though that wasn't one of my weekend plans. I couldn't resist. At least now I can say it was the final mow-job and I can winterize the mower and store it away.

While I was outside a friend stopped by. He was on his motorcycle, out enjoying the day. We talked for about an hour. Work stuff is very interesting between he and I. When I left that short lived job last year (the one I hated and only stayed for 3 weeks) he was here doing the job I'm doing now. But he went to the place I abandoned and recommended me for his vacated position. Thats where I am now. Confused enough yet?

Anyway, we compared notes and then he said he had some more interesting news. His wife of 14 years is leaving. She came home about 3 weeks ago and told him "She doesn't know who she is. She needs to find herself." (That sounds so 70's!) So his life is changing. It took him totally by surprise too. He had no warning. Weird.

Our new furniture was delivered on Saturday.... almost. We ordered this stuff 11 weeks ago and when it finally came the large dresser was damaged and the bed rails were wrong. So they are replacing the dresser and had to take the bed back with them. Supposedly we will be getting the new bed next weekend. The dresser may be another 10-11 weeks.

Shouldn't furniture be something that is easy to get? It seems like we have never, ever had a delivery that wasn't damaged. When I move my whole house I don't have damage. That is without all that wrapping and packaging they have on the new stuff too. But alas, it is the American way now. Do things 2-3 times before it is finally right.

Sunday was fun. I actually decided that my basement room needed a good cleaning. (I'm so domestic... every 6 months.) What was fun was that the vacuum got part of the carpet wrapped around the brush thingy and burned the belt up. Boy did that stink! It didn't do the carpet much good either. But I got to take the vacuum apart and replace all the stuff that burned up. That was neat. I've never taken one apart. But now I'm an expert.

So as you can tell, my weekend was basically Blah! But I think I needed a weekend off. I've been running around way too much lately. The rest was good. The old batteries needed a recharge.

Today should be a non-event filled day. I'm hoping so. Tomorrow I'm headed south to pick up Peachy and she and I are hanging for the day. Meeting up with old work friends (Spacebrain included) and then seeing what mischief we can get into. I am soooo looking forward to seeing her. It's been too long of a break. We'll post pics I'm sure. Stay tuned later in the week.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Morning Observation

Know what I hate? Rude fat-ass people who walk real slowly down the middle of the hallway and won't let you get past. Then I am trudging along behind them listening to their retarded conversation as I am stuck watching their jiggling, flabby buns. That's what I hate.

And in the group is the same dork who trapped me this way earlier in the week with a similar group. Plus he was still expounding on his brilliant musical knowledge just like before. Hey pal... I know they kicked you out of the band for being a poser. (He said he could play but never could.) I know the truth about your sorry ass.... now get out of my way!!!

How's your day going so far? :)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Today's Daily Observation

Nothing excites a department of women like a scheduled "Sex Toy Party".

I wanted to go but they won't let me. It's a women only party.

They did say I can place an order from the catalog though.

I think they missed the point. ;)

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

I Voted For Me!

I just had the best time voting ever! Plus, I voted for the very best candidate ever.... me! Here's the scoop:

I planned on not voting at all since I haven't been following politics here. I moved back to this state last year and just never bothered. So I planned on skipping it all.

But I decided not to. I had an idea. I went to my polling place and there before my eyes was exactly what I knew would be there. In front of the place was the inevitable 10,572 political signs in every piece of ground that could hold one. Just what I was looking for. Now all I needed was an audience. I was really hoping for a news person too.

I stood there for a while just looking at all the signs. I checked them out as if I was shopping in a department store. I carefully (and as obviously as I could) perused the signs, shopping for someone to vote for, waiting for someone, anyone to say something. It took a long time.

The first person to say something was one of those 'candidate helpers' that hang around outside trying to get a last bit of influence on you as you enter the polls. She looked like an old retired school teacher. She came up to me and asked if I had someone in mind to vote for. So I told her "Not yet. I still have a few more signs to look at before I decide". She looked very confused. Then she started her spiel about her candidate. Part way through I stopped her and said "Please don't try to influence me. When I see the sign I like then I'll know who to vote for." Now she looked very confused.

Helper: "You mean you are going to vote for someone because of a sign?"
YB: "Yep."
Helper: Don't you think you should know the person you are voting for better than that?"
YB: "Seems to me that picking the coolest sign is a good way to choose."
Helper: "You can't be serious."
YB: "Isn't that why they are here? To help you decide who to vote for?"
Helper: "Well yes, in a way.........."
YB: "Good. Thanks then. I'll let you know when I decide."

She walked away shaking her head. I went back to shopping. I got to have the same conversation 3 more times. I really wanted to have a reporter show up and put me into the news. I could have started a whole new campaign scheme. Can you imagine the amount and size of the signs that would show up at the next election if they thought more people did what I was doing? We'd never see the end of them all.

But no reporter. *sigh*

I was also disappointed with the lame 'art work' on the various signs. So I went inside and voted for myself. 2 reasons: One was because I didn't know any of the candidates and the second was that I know for sure if I were to run for something, my sign would be the best one ever. Everyone would change their minds and vote my way once they saw my sign at the door. I voted for the best candidate available to me tonight. Me.

Important Ethical Question Of The Moment

In keeping with the latest trend of blogger world awareness I thought we should discuss this important issue.

Are we too cruel to KFC chickens? Can they be bred, fed, grown to plump juicy, delightfully round proportions and then slaughtered in a more humane way? Pam Anderson thinks so. Do we?

Check out this link.

Pam Anderson KFC Exposé

If Pam Anderson says it is bad, well, it must be. How can she be wrong? Just look and see her credentials:

Not too many others know about breasts any better than she would. The legs too. I mean, anyone who would strip naked in public for their cause has to have some credibility, right? (Now, don't think I am against stripping. Au contraire mon frair , I love that idea! Wish I had been there for that.)

So what does the blog world think? Should we just stop eating delicious KFC chicken and join the ranks of the mentally unstable PETA people? Or should we just keep on keepin on and enjoy what God has given us?


Monday, November 06, 2006

Today's Daily Observation

How come people can't say "height"? Around here it's always "heighth".

Along those lines, a lot of people say "WalMarts" or KMarts". There is no "s" on the end. A lot of them say "mines" too as in "That car is mines". It's "mine" or did you have different grammar classes than I did?

I'd also like to smack the next person who says, "Wit chu..." and not "with you".

It's "creek", not "crick". It's "scratching an itch" not "Itching an itch". It's "turning on a light" not "cutting it on". Cutting usually means off, stopping, eliminating.

English is the language around here but most of the time you just can't tell.

Stupid asses.

Oh... and there is no such word as "irregardless". Look it up.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Daily Observations

WalMart greeters are scary.

One of them greeted us last night and I remember thinking, "She seems a little too friendly." She was kinda heavy and had caked on some of the worst makeup I had ever seen. She wore this way-to-short for her girth mini-skirt that when she turned away from us I could see how it rode up between her legs, revealing lots of leg cheese. It wasn't Halloween so I don't think it was costume.

Then on the way out I saw she was still there. As we passed she smiled and said goodbye and I saw she had almost no teeth. One front one was all black and yellow and the other was only a sliver. There didn't seem to be any more either. Then she winked at me.

I choked back a little bile and left.

WalMart greeters are scary.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Something To Compare It To

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what life was like when I was younger compared to what it is now. More specifically, what it was like to experience something for the first time. How fun and exciting it seemed. Have you ever noticed that the first time for things has a certain zing that never can be repeated? It's true. The second and 10th times all could be great but after the first time, things are never quite the same.

I remember my first kiss. I remember thinking it was the most exciting thing ever. I thought that nothing would ever top that experience. But later in life, after a few more kisses, I realized it was actually the moment that was awesome. Not the quality that made it so great. The quality has gotten better with practice. But nothing compares to that first kiss in terms of excitement.

I remember my first sexual experience. It seemed like the best thing ever to happen. But these days it seems a little lame and even almost gross if I think of it in terms of just a pure sexual act. But back then I thought it was the best. That nothing could ever top it. It's a fond memory but it has been improved upon since. But that moment in time will never change. Nothing will ever take away that excitment. But now I have other memories to compare it to.

It's the same with almost everything. When you have nothing to compare an experience to you believe that the first time is the best ever. The first taste of ice cream, the first roll in the snow, the first love of your life. They all seem to be the best.

Then later you experience things again and you have a reference and you can decide if it was that great or if it was just the moment. Never forgetting the moment but seeing it with more experience is totally different.

These days I am reminded of a lot of moments like that. I have a friend who is a bit younger than me and I have found that I enjoy being with her and watching her reactions to everything. Her reactions remind me of my first time with the same experiences and how I felt then. How I feel now. I see her and I think that someday she will remember this moment and compare it to the most recent time she experiences the same thing. My goal is to make sure her first time at whatever we share isn't something she wants to shrug off. That in 10 years she can look back and still smile. That she will remember the experience with fondness not with relief that she has learned better in her older years. Good goal.

The old saying "Youth is wasted on the young" is truthful if you see it as a statement and not something derogatory. It simply means that the first experience isn't always as good as the repeats. It just seems like it and the young don't have anything to compare it to. Eventually they will and they will remember the first time.

Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward. (Kierkegaard) I get that more and more these days.