Saturday, December 31, 2005

Happy New Year!!!

I have been totally preoccupied but I have managed to steal this moment to wish all my blogger buds a very Happy New Year! I wish for all of you a very happy and excellent 2006.

I also hope we all make it through the next year together.

Happy New Year!!!

BS Friday Answer

Yesterday’s BS Friday story has a bit of a complicated answer to it. The basic story is a lie. Not much is real at all.

The true parts are that I had a friend who was into the Indian stuff and he and his brother and a friend did build an Indian camp like I described. But I never went there. He tried to get me to go but I just wasn’t into it. He also had a tendency to act like he was meditating or going into a trance or whatever. Mostly we all just laughed about that.

We did have an adventure where we misjudged a creek crossing and nearly got swept away, but it wasn’t like I described yesterday.

I like to take some real elements and splice them together somehow to do the false stories. I think it gives them a truer feel.

So there you have it, another false adventure. Thanks to everyone who managed to read the whole thing. Somehow I can’t get these things shortened. It’s like when you go to a buffet for dinner. Just when you think you’ve reached your limit, you just keep going anyway. That’s what happens to me sometimes, whether it’s a buffet or a BS Friday story. :)

Friday, December 30, 2005

BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. You know the score, I'll write it and you tell me if it's true of just plain old BS. Today's post is called: The Weirdest New Year's Eve Ever

This is a story about one of my weirdest New Year’s Eves. This one year in particular my friend and I decided that we would go on a vision quest. He was big into American Indian lore and stuff like that and I was big into adventure, so I told him I’d tag along.

He and his brother had built a little campground in the woods a few miles from where we lived. They had 2 tee-pees and a fire ring and it was a place they went to hang out on weekends. When he first started doing that stuff I was totally turned off by it. To me, wasting time with that was silly. There was Baseball to be played or Tennis to work on or Motocross rides to do. Anything else sounded like more fun. Building a camp sounded like work.

So this one particular New Year’s Eve we decided to pack up some stuff, sneak outside and head to this Indian camp facsimile and try to find some spirit guide to help us into the New Year. That was the plan.

Sneaking out wasn’t a problem. We did that a lot as teenagers. Stashing supplies wasn’t an issue either. We had a cool place we made under some bushes that easily hid anything we wanted. What we didn’t count on was the fact that it was Winter, it had rained a lot lately and we were totally being stupid. Of course that last part wasn’t realized until later.

The big night came and the beginning of the plan went like clockwork. We stashed our stuff, we waited until my Mom was asleep and we easily snuck outside. The first inclination that we were in trouble should have been easy to spot since the temperature when we got outside was a lot colder than we had anticipated. But hey, this was a quest. We had to suffer for our reward, right? (Those were his words, btw.)

So we got our stash and started off. We headed out of the neighborhood and across a big field. After walking a bit I wasn’t cold anymore. We chattered like schoolgirls as we walked, talking about what we hoped to see and all that hyped up, adrenaline talk. Then we hit our first major snag. We came to the creek.

We knew it well. We had planned to cross at the most shallow spot we knew. We had a few pieces of wood there for the crossing. What we forgot was all the rain that had been falling recently. When we got to that ‘shallow’ spot, it was 3 times its normal size and our wood had washed away. It was gone. We should have taken the hint and gave up, but naturally we didn’t. We decided that it still couldn’t be all that deep and we could stand a little water in our shoes. This was a quest. We had to suffer for our reward, right? (Those were his words again, btw.) So we proceeded into the water.

Somewhere about 1/3 of the way across the current had gotten really fast. Not only was it tough to keep our footing but it had washed away a lot of the bottom. One more step and we both went down into the water up to our waists. Now, if you aren’t a guy, you’ve never experienced what a shock that can be when you suddenly and without warning have icy cold water slammed into your private area. (I’m sure it sucks for women too but I can’t claim any experience there.) Our shrieks and surprised, shrill gasps had to be heard for a few miles. They had to be. That was damn cold! It was there that I was sure we needed to turn back. But we were on a quest and my friend would have no part of it. We had to suffer for our reward, right? Uh huh.

So we decided that we were already wet and we should press on. We moved slowly across the creek, holding our stash of goodies high over our heads. At one point the water got to the chest level. Talk about freezing! Then we marched on. We eventually got to the edge of the field and started to go out onto the road when we both suddenly found ourselves flat on our faces. The field was surrounded by barbed wire and we had walked right into it, both tripping and splattering on the ground. My chin really hurt after that. But we managed to get around that obstacle and keep moving toward the trail that would lead to his camp. That’s when we heard the sirens.

We shouldn’t have been startled by Police sirens. It was New Year’s Eve. But we were both close to hypothermia by this time and were feeling like we were doing something bad, so naturally we knew they were after us. We ran into a nearby front yard and hid in some bushes waiting for the Cops to go by. When they did, we started moving on but what we didn’t know was the house had themselves a big dog to protect it. That dog started barking and it sounded so loud that it seemed to echo forever. Then the lights came on in the house. That’s when we started running. I have to admit to a bit of a thrill at this point. It felt pretty cool, like we were fugitives or something.

Well, the running was short lived because we ran right up against a dead end cul de sac. There was no where to go. We had taken a wrong turn and my friend, the great Indian tracker, wasn’t sure where we were. We couldn’t turn back because that dog was still barking so we did the logical thing, we ran through some yards hoping to find a place that looked familiar.

Suddenlt I was running alone. I didn't notice for a few steps but when I looked around, there was my friend all sprawled out on the ground. He had run into a low-flying clothesline and it had hooked his chin an thrown him to the ground. Ouch! I got him up and we got moving again before someone noticed.

By now we were near frozen. We trudged on for another 15 minutes or so and somehow managed to find the entrance to the trail we were looking for. It was another half-hour walk in good weather to the camp from there. I was worried by this time that my toes would fall off or something. Apparently my friend was getting that way too because suddenly his plan changed. He decided to find out if ‘the spirits’ would allow us access to the trail. He sat down at the entrance to the trail and started acting like he was going into some kind of mind-trance. He was murmuring and humming and rocking back and forth and when I started laughing at him he started getting mad at me. I couldn’t help it. We both knew we were chickening out but he wouldn’t just admit to it. He had to ‘get guidance’.

Naturally after a few minutes of his mind searching, he was told by the Great Spirit that tonight was the wrong time for a vision quest. We were to return home. So we turned around and within a minute we were at the home of a friend of his family, begging for a ride back into town. We told them about our adventure and they took pity on us and gave us a ride home. Of course, they also told our parents about it all too. That sucked. We ended up bringing in the New Year alone, in bed and grounded for a month. Nice.

So there is the story of my weirdest New Year’s Eve.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Just Another Night

OK, there was no reaction at all tonight. I only had the one light on in the breezeway and I got no reaction. No lights on anywhereelse and no reaction. ??? I think Jen is right, there had to be something going on that Nicci wasn't letting on about. I guess she'll fess up when she's ready.

Or not.

Here's something interesting though. While Nicci was sitting at the park this morning some guy was checking her out. He circled her car for a few minutes. Watched her. Then went behind a tree nearby and proceeded to drop his drawers and masturbate. He moved to a spot where he was in full view of her and just kept going and staring. She took off quickly and called the Police, but they didn't catch him.

Weirdo's like that I really don't understand. How can that be any fun?

Maybe he helped me out though. After that prime example of manliness, I probably looked pretty good to her no matter how many lights I did or didn't have on. ;)

It Was One Of Those Nights

Did you ever have one of ‘those’ nights? The kind that starts out wrong and just won’t straighten up? That’s what happened to me last night. The whole evening sucked and it started with just one small misplaced sentence that pissed me off. It should have just started and ended quickly, but somehow it blossomed into this big ass issue. Ruined the evening.

Nicci came stomping into the house, yelling about how the breezeway light wasn’t turned on. She wants it turned on every evening. Like an idiot, I asked why. A simple question. Easy to answer. But no, it turned into a ‘bash YB’ scene. She wanted it on. That was all.

And I’m supposed to be a mind reader apparently.

Now, I could see that she might have a reason for this if the garage light and the kitchen light weren’t on already. If I had turned on the breezeway light, she would have needed sunglasses to keep her from getting blinded. I swear she would turn all the lights on in the house all the time if she could. The electric company would be really happy with her if she had her way. I didn’t get it at all. She actually kind of freaked out. There was this whole big scene about that damn light. Mostly I just listened. But it was a scene.

I remember later sitting with Nicci still wondering why she had snapped about something so silly. She was jabbering on & on about stuff like nothing had happened. Me, I wasn’t even listening. In my mind I was thinking “Why doesn’t she just shut up? Can’t she see I’m not interested? How did I end up here? This whole scene is just grating on me. Geez, when will this night ever end?” I just couldn’t get past the freak-out. I stayed annoyed and irritable all evening.

Finally I just got up and went away (to the basement). I knew I would make things worse if I hung around any more. Still today I’m wondering wtf that whole scene was about. Tonight I’ll turn on just the stupid breezeway light and nothing else. There will be a lot less light, but I’ll get to see how she reacts to that one.

Sometimes I wonder how anyone stays in a relationship anymore. It’s the stupid little things that drive a person crazy.

Latest Poll Results

I had such a crappy night last night. So this morning I am copping out with a new Poll post. I'll write about the crap-fest later.

The results of the Christmas Special Poll were fairly predictable. It seems everyone loves A Christmas Story and of course Charlie Brown. It's A Wonderful Life is still one of my all time faves too.

I noticed that there was one vote for a write-in, but I never saw the write in. Most likely it was for A Nightmare Before Christmas. That one seems to be pretty popular. I may have to see it some day.

The new Poll(s) are posted. This time they're more serious. I keep hearing all these 'official' polls in the news and I wanted to see exactly how my blog friends feel about the Iraq situation. The one good thing that should come of it is the fact that I always stay on schedule when there is a serious Poll posted. Next week they will be gone. I tend to have problems staying focused on reality too long. :)

Have at it.

Which is the greatest Christmas Special ever?

Selection Votes
It's A Wonderful Life 18% 6
A Christmas Story 32% 11
A Charlie Brown Christmas 21% 7
How The Grinch Stole Christmas 9% 3
A Christmas Carol (Scrooge) *Whatever version... 3% 1
Miracle On 34th Street 3% 1
Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer 12% 4
Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town 0% 0
Frosty The Snowman 0% 0
Ernest Saves Christmas :) 0% 0
**Write any favorites I missed in Comments 3% 1

34 votes total
Poll results are subject to error. does not pre-screen the content of polls created by Pollhost customers.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


I don’t usually write about this kind of thing but lately it’s on my mind. Recently I had a conversation with a friend who happens to be a black woman. She was telling me how racism isn’t just relegated to the stereotypical between races bigotry. Apparently there is racism within races.

Now I know I tend to go through life in a little bit of a goofy, whatever happens - happens type of mindset, but I truthfully had no idea about this issue. While we were talking I was stunned to hear some things I was told.

She said that within black communities and even within families that some people are racist. She has a relative that has darker skin and he doesn’t like darker skinned people. He only likes light skinned women or white women. He even shuns his own children that were born with darker skin.

She told me that an ex-boyfriend of hers had a Grandmother that would not allow the darker skinned grandkids into her home. She hated their skin color. Then she told me about a friend of hers that is from Puerto Rico. She has darker skin than her siblings and has naturally curly hair. Her siblings have lighter skin color and straight hair, so she was basically shunned by her family and now they don’t even talk to her anymore.

I had no idea this type of thing was common. It has been on my mind since our conversation. But when I think about it, I shouldn’t be surprised at all. I’ve known white people who react the same way. I just didn’t pay any attention. For instance, I knew a white guy who hated anyone with red hair. To him, that was a sign of inferiority. I have no idea how a person can come to that conclusion. Or there is the obvious example of groups like the skin-heads who hate anyone not like them. Even whites if they are silly enough to be born Jewish or something like that.

I remember the first time I realized my Mother was a bit of a racist. I had a crush on this very pretty black girl and we started hanging out together. (I think I was about 12-13 at the time.) One day she came to visit and when she left my Mom told me she wasn’t allowed in her house. She wasn’t ‘our kind’. That was my first real experience with it and it left me feeling like my Mother was a jerk. I wasn’t impressed at all. I was ashamed that she could say that about someone. We lived in a poor neighborhood and the population was probably 50-50 black and white. It never occurred to me that something was wrong with having black friends. Needless to say, I ignored her, which is what teenagers will do anyway when it comes to almost anything a parent will tell them. But this time, I had good reason to ignore her opinion.

I just don’t get this. I sometimes can be naive about stuff, but interracial racism is a new concept to me. It’s been there but I guess I just didn’t pay attention. The thing is racism doesn’t make sense to me in any form. People are born as they are. They don’t have a choice about what they look like. How can that be held against them? Guilt by association is not a good reason for any kind of hate.

These types of attitudes seem to be especially prevalent with older people. Whether they are black or white doesn’t seem to matter. I worked with a black lady for years who was the biggest racist I’ve met to date. She was a pretty cool person except for that. When her son started dating a white woman, you would have thought the world was ending. But the older people went through a lot more bigotry than people my age or younger. I think as time goes on, it should just keep getting better. I hope so.

Personally, if I like someone or they are attractive to me, I don’t care what race they are. If a woman is sexy, she’s sexy. If a person is interesting, they are OK with me. I just don’t get the whole ‘superior race’ concept. I especially don’t get being prejudiced against a family member for looking different than you do. That makes me believe that the human race still has a very long way to go.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Question Of The Day

Should I or shouldn't I?

Post Christmas Blues?

Anyone got the post Christmas Blues?

Nah, me neither. I don't get those Christmas let downs. The Christmas weekend was great. I got to hang with family, friends and had some nice alone time with Nicci. Plus I had so many good things to eat! All weekend. How can that be bad?

I scored big with gifts too. Funny thing about that is that we weren't going to exchange gifts this year, again. But every year it's the same. We plan to not exchange gifts and we don't keep to it.

I can't help it. I love giving gifts so I usually start the buying. Then Nicci finds out and probably feels guilty or something and it just snowballs. Personally, I think she likes buying gifts too and I give her a good excuse to start.

I did have one special moment I will share. I was sitting at our front window Christmas morning watching the sunrise. The mountains are right in front of the house so we get an awesome view of the sunrise. The sky turned all kinds of amazing colors and kept changing as the seconds went by. I sat in front of the fire and watched and had one of those Hallmark moments of clarity. I realized that I had every reason to be content. I had everything a person could need. I had had an awesome year and I really didn't have anything to complain about, even though I do, silly boy that I can be. I had good family, good friends and even realized that a lot of my acquaintances in the blog world have become real friends. That made me smile. Who would have thought that was possible? Not me.

So now it's back to work. I really don't mind so much today for some reason. Maybe one reason is that we have another long weekend coming right away. That's always cool. But I do have some stuff to do and hopefully the week will blow right on by. Don't take that as me being happy to be at work. I didn't lose my mind over the weekend or anything. I'm just coping well today.

Let's hope it lasts. :)

Monday, December 26, 2005

The Adventures Of Slim Stickley

Welcome to the adventures of Slim Stickley. (A Post-It Note drama from YB Productions)

This is Slim Stickley a mild-mannered regular guy. But like most regular guys, Slim has a secret. By day Slim is an Assistant Manager in the shoe department of the local Wal-Mart, but when needed...

Slim changes to Super Slim! Protector of Truth, Champion of Justice and Hero to everyone (who doesn’t have him arrested).

Today we see Slim strolling down the street after a grueling day of toe cheese and screaming kids when his above average hearing picks up a commotion at Starbuck’s...

Quickly Slim dashes into the nearest phone booth to change into his Super Slim outfit....

That’s when the Police notice something isn’t quite right....

“Hey! What do you think you are doing in there?”, the Cop yells. “This isn’t your personal dressing room!”

“But officer, I must help the oppressed suffering at Starbuck’s. They were short-changed.” Slim answers desperately.

The officer realizes he isn’t dealing with an average citizen here. “What the heck is wrong with you? Are you some kind of freak? Get dressed and get out of that phone booth!”

Slim quickly processes his options via his slightly above-average mind powers. He realizes the Cop isn’t messing with him. So he does the right thing and prepares to get back into his mild mannered Slim costume. One problem, he forgets that he hasn’t put on his pants before bending down for his clothes....

That’s when the nice officer decides he’s had enough....

He talks Slim into coming with him peaceably.

Then offers him a ride in his new truck.

Slim get’s one phone call. Later that day Slim’s wife comes to bail him out. She has great patience with Slim because she knows his secret....

But none of this deters our Hero. He has had some scrapes with the misunderstanding public before. He vows that he will still fight for truth and justice.

But now things may get a little tougher since Slim has to register as a sex offender. Who knew that inadvertently shooting a Cop the moon could mark you for life?

Slim sure didn’t.

The End.

Tune in again next time for the further adventures of Slim Stickly!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas Blogworld

"Sure Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about."

...."And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the lord shone round about them, and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'".

"That is what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown."


Sexy Christmas Pics

I've noticed a few women bloggers (Peachy, Betty) posting sexy Christmas guy pics. I decided to do some women pics for the guys so we don't feel left out. (And because I like to...) I did include one for the ladies too. Enjoy!

That's my kind of present!

Suddenly I really like Elves!

The 'Barely there' package is much easier to unwrap!

Mrs. Claus? No wonder he only leaves the house once a year.

One for the ladies. Sexy is in the eye of the beholder, eh?

Friday, December 23, 2005

BS Friday Answer

I just got back from a whole day of running around ‘out there’ with all the crazies. There seems to be a lot of last minute shoppers who are desperate. Enough so that they are very rude and rotten to everyone else. I’d like to extend to them that excuse for acting like asses anyway.

Ok, the BS Friday story was total truth. The whole scenario. I remember it vividly to this day. For a very long time no one could convince me that Santa didn’t exist after that Christmas morning. I preached his praises to everyone. I even had quite a few converts at school after I told them of our miracle. It was a great year.

The truth is I think we all really want to believe in Santa. I think we all wish that Christmas magic would stay with us all the time. We want it to keep showing up every year. There is some comfort in believing that Santa will stop by. There is some comfort in not allowing yourself to ‘grow out of believing’. That’s a sad thing, isn’t it? To 'grow out of believing’.

This Christmas morning I will think back to that Christmas morning and I will feel the wonder all over again. I am so looking forward to it. Santa will visit my house this year again. I hope he comes by your house too.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

BS Friday - A Little Early

Welcome to BS Friday. I'm a little early but I really don't know my Friday morning schedule, so here it is. You know what to do. I’ll write it, you tell me if it’s truth or just plain old BS. This weeks post is called: Once, I Really Did Believe In Santa

We grew up poor. Really poor. My Mother married a guy who couldn’t stop the boozing and abusing. She ended up with 4 kids and no one to help her raise them. All before she was 25. Scary indeed.

We didn’t have much for Christmas. Sometimes we would get a couple of little things and it was just fine with us. I don’t think we knew any better for the longest time. Of course that changed once Middle School hit. That’s when you got to meet kids from other areas of the county. In Elementary School, your neighborhood friends were all you knew.

It was a weird transition, getting used to the fact that you were ‘from the wrong side of the tracks’. I was and I learned quickly what that meant. To some, it meant I wasn’t even allowed to be their friend. Funny thing was I always figured it was their loss. Yes, I’ve always had an attitude of some sort.

The weirdest thing I saw starting in Middle School though was that when a lot of those kids said they wanted something for Christmas, they ended up getting it. Now there was a foreign thought to me. I always wanted stuff but rarely did it show up. Especially after my Dad was gone.

I remember one year in particular our Mom sat us down and explained to us that Christmas was coming but the presents were not. She had been struggling hard and just wasn’t making it. She didn’t want us to be disappointed on Christmas morning so she was telling us the truth early. Naturally we were all bummed but the truth was, it wouldn’t be a whole lot different anyway.

So to cheer ourselves up we sat down and made decorations for the tree from whatever we could find available. We made this really cool chain out of some construction paper that I had lying around and strung it around the tree. We took what was left of some plastic village pieces and made a few buildings for under the tree and managed to set the train up too. My Dad always had a big village and a train under the tree when he was around. Our version wasn’t up to par, but it worked out.

On Christmas Eve we all sat and watched ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’ and ‘The Grinch’ and then we went to bed. Those 2 shows always seemed to be televised back to back in those days. I remember wishing that Santa were real. I remember sitting up late staring out the window wondering if Santa would actually come. I also wondered how I got to be chosen for this life. It didn’t seem fair.

The next morning when I woke up I heard my brothers and sister yelling from downstairs like they were crazy. I hurried down to see what was happening and when I got down I was shocked. The whole living room was filled with presents! The village under the tree had disappeared under a mound of bright colored boxes. I just stood there with my eyes big and round and my mouth hanging opened. I was either 9 or 10 and really didn’t believe in Santa but it sure seemed like he had paid us a visit.

For about an hour we all ripped and tore open presents. All kinds of cool stuff that I didn’t realize at the time I had never even asked for. I didn’t care. This was the first time I remember scoring big loot on Christmas. It was great! I couldn’t wait to get to school and have something to brag about for a change. It never occurred to me to wonder about where it came from.

Later our family showed up and we all sat down to an old-fashioned Turkey dinner. I remember going to bed that night feeling like God had finally remembered me and that he had sent Santa to give us a break. I had never been so satisfied. I still haven’t felt as satisfied again.

Now that I am older I know the truth; the church had come by after we were asleep and brought all that stuff. It was one of those ‘Christmas Toys For Kids’ things you hear about. My brain knows that now but I am here to tell you that in my heart, that morning still feels like magic. I still feel the wonder of actually believing that Santa had stopped by. I know intellectually that others who cared helped us but I still love to close my eyes, think back to that morning and remember the feeling. It is one of the best feelings I can ever remember and I try hard to keep it fresh every year.

For one blessed Christmas morning, I was a true believer in Santa Claus.

FO Day

Today is an official FO day. If you are having a good time FOing and the boss says something, refer her/him to this blog. We are the keepers of the Official Government FO Calendar. There can be no disputing it. My credentials are impeccable. I have been a graduate of FO school, a novice & apprentice, worked my way up to Team Leader and Manager and now I am the Director of the East Coast Division. Yep, something to be proud of.

Today we are exchanging goofy gifts and the boss is buying lunch. It's an unofficial gift exchange. Nothing formal. Mostly we buy the silliest things we can and give them away. I have a little work to do but it is simple enough to get past quickly. I just can't wait for this 4 day weekend to start. It would be hard focusing on too much work today anyway. That's why I love this job. I can plan my schedule carefully so I can have a slack day here and there.

So everyone have fun today. We will. And we will be checking in on you to make sure you are having at least a minute or two of FO time. It is an official function that I take very seriously.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

I Just Dunno...

OK, today is a total 'no-post-ideas' day. I don't have anything to write about. So I'll write about nothing. That's what this post will be about... Nothing! The entire post, absolutely nothing.

Can you see where I'm going with this? Me neither.

Here's the problem right now; we all went to lunch at some ritzy place that Peachy picked out. It was Engineer Guy's farewell lunch. The place was expensive too. (Next time I quit I'm choosing an expensive joint for my farewell lunch.) Anyway. I had to have a Coke during lunch. Then Peachy, sweet gal that she is, stopped and got me a Grande Gingerbread Latte at Starbuck's on the way back. Isn't she the coolest? Then when we got back, Spacebrain decided he wanted to make coffee so he made up some fresh Irish Cream. Naturally, I had to have that too. In the course of just 1.5 hours, I had all that caffeine. Yeah, I'm a bit wired.

There's why I am doing this rambling post.

That sure took a while to explain. I hope everyone get it straight.

So now I'm sitting here, all my work done, trying to focus on something. It's just not working. You, my faithful readers, are bearing the brunt of my caffeine induced babbling post, assuming you have continued this far. If you have, good job! If you haven't, well I guess I could say anything I wanted to right here since you are no longer reading. Hmmm.... OK, I don't feel like being a butt. So I'll just pretend to miss you. The bottom of my caffeine post misses those of you who bailed early. (Did you buy that?)

Fine, Tanks fer nuttin!

Now I'll sign off for a little while. I need to go and do a few laps around the block to burn off some energy. See Ya!

Cop Out Post

I'm a little busy this morning and I also don't have anything of relevance to say (yet!), so I will do the next best thing. Here are a couple of comics that always make me smile when I see them.

I think Snoopy & Woodstock would be fun to hang with, don't you?

Poor old Charlie Brown.

It's good that we never got to see him grown up. That could really have been depressing. :)

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Time For A Change

Do you ever get tired of reading blogs? Do you ever get tired of checking in and seeing what your blog friends are doing this day and that day? Spending time ....."coming into this stinking apartment (blogworld) every ten minutes to pore over the excruciating minutia of every single daily event", as Elaine would say. Don't you just get worn out from it?

Yeah, me neither. I love it!

One thing I do get tired of though is me. Me and my stupid habit of visiting bloggers that have godly attitudes. The ones who know everything, have the solution to everyone’s problems, who know and act like they are superior beings. The ones who have the answers to everyone’s issues and act as though they are perfect. They like to point out the fact that everyone else is dumber than they are and never handle life issues the way they do, which is always the perfect way. They suck. I get pissed at myself because I have a strange fascination with seeing just how much more crap they will post and I can’t stop reading them. Dumb ass YB. Yep. I need to break that habit.

Soon I will.

Be forewarned, all you superior beings. I will stop visiting you and then..... well you won’t even notice. But I’ll feel better. And that’s what life really is all about anyway. Feeling OK. At least to those of us who don’t know any better, dumb as we are. :)

Your Highness?

I saw this show last night about British Royalty and I have a question that they didn't answer in it; Who decided to call royal people "Your Highness"? Isn't that a strange thing to call someone? I'm sure it has to do with putting them above 'ordinary' people. It just sounds funny.

When I was younger we had a friend we called 'highness' but it wasn't because he was royalty. It was because he always seemed to be high on something. Obviously, I'm sure the royal family isn't called highness for the same reason. Well, who knows about that Prince Harry guy. He seems to like to cut loose a bit.

I think I'd get annoyed if someone was calling me highness. That just seems like a weird thing to say. "Hey there Highness!" That seems pretty close to "Hey there Hiney!" Can't they just say Prince or Princess or Queen? OK, Prince was taken by a much more famous guy. Maybe that wouldn't work so well. Oh, and Princess these days is a bit of an insult whether it's a male or female being addressed. Ok. Hmm... and calling someone a Queen can get you into trouble too. Maybe I'm seeing a trend here. Maybe being called "Your Highness" isn't actually a compliment? Maybe it's one of those snide things they say and then snicker after.

I think they should just call them cool things like "Charles the Cheater", "Harry the Wilder" or "Michael the Boring". How about "Your Stuffiness" for the Queen? She seems a bit of a drag to hang with.

I think it's obvious that I don't get the whole royal family idea. It's also more obvious that I'll never be invited to dinner at the royal palace. I guess they call me "YB the Uninvited". Oh well. ;)

Monday, December 19, 2005

Enter Sandman

Did you know that movies can be a great cure for insomnia? I didn't either. Peachy has taught me that lesson. Apparently she can just pop almost any movie into the DVD player and it will put her to sleep. If the characters have an accent, it even works better. It works for her even in a theatre.

Spacebrain told me that he can do that too. He fell asleep in the theatre watching Star Wars. The original. Way back when. Yeah.

I haven't had that happen to me but I did fall asleep at a concert once. Believe it or not, it was a Metallica concert too. Queensryche had opened for them and at the time I was more interested in seeing them than Metallica. So when the 'big band' came on, I snoozed right through. I did get up for the oncores though. Those are the best anyway. Metallica played a lot of old stuff for their oncores. I also made sure I saw Kirk's solo. It was amazing.

Anyway, there you have it, a sure fire cure for insomnia. It may work for some. Personally, I'll stick with sex before sleep. In my opinion, that is the best way to go. ;)

The Secret Is Out

During the party on Friday Nicci found out that my ex lives a few doors down. Yep. It came out thanks to everyone having too good a time and too much alcohol. Figures.

Toward the end of the evening the remnants of the party crown were all sitting aroud the bar joking about how so many exes had shown up. Even Nicci's ex-husband attended.

*For the record, I don't even think about stuff like that. He's a good guy and I like him just fine. I spoke with him for a while and he hung around for a while everything was just fine. To me, what's past is past.*

We had a couple attend who were once married and one half of a divorced couple showed up even though both were invited.

Anyway, we were talking about all that stuff and I joked that if the one missing divorced friend had shown up then all our exes would have been there but mine and I'd have had to give her a call just so we'd have them all there. That was a mistake.

One of our friends started laughing and babbling on about how she had forgotten about my ex living so close. She was almost losing it laughing about the fact that my ex was just a few doors down. I think she forgot that it wasn't something Nicci knew about. Of course Nicci asked for clarity on the subject. Surprisingly she found it very amusing that we lived so close together. She laughed quite a bit about it. (I hope it stays that way.)

So now she knows about it. Of course I feigned ignorance. It doesn't seem to have bothered her too much. She seemed fine with it yesterday. We'll see how it goes from here.

So, a word to the wise, beware of friends who can't keep secrets, especially when they are drinking. Alcohol + secret = (possible)trouble ;)

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Great Party!

The Christmas party last night was awesome! We all had a blast. This house was so full of people. I loved it. We had old neighbors here, old friends, family, new friends and some big time surprise show-ups.

Two of our friends who had moved to Tennessee over a decade ago showed up. They were told about the party by someone who was coming and they came on over too. This just happened to be the weekend they were visiting their family. Great tinmg, eh? It was so great to see them. They only come home a couple times a year and we don’t always get together.

Another loved friend showed up that we didn’t expect. She is someone I miss dearly and never get enough opportunities to hang with. We never heard from her and just assumed she wasn’t coming. Shows what we knew. It was a Festivus miracle!

So I had a house full of everyone who has ever meant something to me. Imagine that. The best part of having such a big crowd is that there is never a moment where your conversation gets tired. You are talking with someone and then someone else joins in or someone else will distract you and so on. The conversations may last 5 minutes but they never end. That’s a great thing for someone like me who gets so easily distracted and/or bored quickly. The evening never gets stale.

I didn’t get a lot of pictures. Truthfully, I got a couple before the party started then forgot about the cameras. There were 2 cameras out for pictures and none were taken. Oh well. I have uploaded a few from earlier last night but that’s all there is.

All in all, it was a great night. The party was a huge success. Only the fact that Peachy and Spacebrain didn’t show sucked. But I guess they had better things to do. Too bad. That would have made the evening as close to perfect as it could be.


This is one view of the living room with the tree and the fireplace.

Here is my favorite decoration. The weird little fiber optic tree with Looney Tunes characters on it. I just posted it because everyone got a kick out of it last year, especially Cat. It's still just as awesome as ever.

Here is the guest of honor. Bugs with his Santa attire. Yeah, he's cool.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

A Christmas Gathering

Tonight we are having our annual open-house Christmas gathering. We have the whole place decked out (even the halls) and the food is ready. There should be enough munchables for half the town. We are well stocked with wine and a friend is bringing his super-douper double sided blender drink machine. He can make copious amounts of frozen drinks with that thing. The Cappuccino machine will be heated up, the warm spiced wine will be ready. I have the whole house wired for Christmas music. The fireplace is well stocked with wood. The little gifts for anyone who shows up are wrapped and anxiously awaiting a new home. I think we are ready.

I look forward to this party every year. We invite almost everyone we know to it. I love a full house at Christmas. The time and expense are never a consideration. We just go for it and try to make sure everyone has a great time. Good friends, loved family members, good food, good drinks and warm hugs... that's a Christmas gathering. I may even break out the guitar and do some Christmas caroling myself. We'll see. The real challenge will be to get Nicci to play the piano for everyone. Sometimes we can get her to play for a while. She is awesome! She was a concert pianist for a while when she was younger. I'll bet we can at least talk her into doing Fur Elise for us.

So I'll be busy today with all the final touches. I won't be blogging much but I want everyone who isn't at our gathering tonight to know that I'll drink a toast to you. I wish all my blog friends could come by. But since most of you whom I consider friends live so far away, a toast and a Merry Christmas is the best I can do.

I will attempt to post pics tomorrow. Then you can feel like you've visited. Maybe just a little. Everyone have a great day.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Stupidass Cigars

Tonight we went to happy hour after the big company Christmas party. It was a good time. I was just wondering something though; why do some guys have to have a cigar when they are out drinking? Those things are worse than cigarettes. They are sickening.

One of the guys we were with actually left the bar to go and get cigars. Then several of them stood around with those big, fat stinky things smoking up the joint. They were sucking on them like they were candy or something.

I don’t get it. Those things stink. They ruin the air for everyone within 20 feet of them. They are not cheap either. They also look stupid. What is the big attraction?

Maybe it’s a way of releasing pent up frustrations. The guys smoking those things may have a craving for trying out a penis or something. I think it’s a suppressed desire to try out gay sex. That is the only thing I can think of. They look like they are practicing for sucking a big old wang-ho.

I wish they’d just come out of the closet and get it over with. Then we wouldn’t have to put up with their nasty pollution anymore.

Otherwise it was a great evening. :)

BS Friday, Almost

This is my BS Friday story today:

I came to work, got real busy and now I’m annoyed because I have no blog time. Stupid work!

See Cindy Lou, I can write a short BS story.

I'll be back!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

If I Were A Female Vampire...

If I were a woman and I was a Vampire, this is who I'd be. (OK, so it's a stretch but I can't resist Vampire anything.)

I love that El Sid is back. She always finds the best quizzes. I found this one as a result of one she had posted. Thanks Sid.

The Temptress

You are the one who comes into people's dreams at
night to drive them mad with desire. You are
sultry, sexy, and passionate. Others find you
hypnotic. You have the sort of smoldering eyes
and bedroom glances that are the stuff of

What's so scary about you: Like sweet poison, you
are addictive and deadly.

Your gemstone: Garnet
Your moon: Rose Moon (July)

Which Beautiful Vampiress are You? (For Girls! - Gothic Anime Pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

What I Would Say To Them

Last week I did a post where I was wondering what a conversation with Jennifer Love Hewitt would be like. I was thinking about that this morning and then I started wondering just what I would really say to a celebrity if I had the chance. Here are a few things I would definitely say:

To Jennifer Love Hewitt I would say: "How you Doin?" (Using my best Joey Tribiani voice)

To Sandra Bullock I would say: "WTF?"

To Tom Cruise I would say: "Shut the f&$k up!"

To Katie Holmes I would say: "I know this clinic where they cure brainwashings. I can help you."

To Angelina Jolie I would say: "You are the prettiest freak I've ever known. Seriously, I meant that as a compliment."

To Bill Clinton I would say: "Of all the women you could have chosen...?"

To Halle Berry I would say: "How you Doin?" (JT voice again)

To Ashley Simpson I would say: "Loved that little dance you did on SNL."

To Jessica Simpson I would say: "You actually chose The Dukes Of Hazard as your first movie?"

To Paul McCartney I would say: "I think you are boring but here's Cindy Lou's number anyway."

To Tom Cruise I would say: "I want to meet your parents so I can smack them for producing you!"

To Britney Spears I would say: "You can take the girl out of the sticks but you just can't take the 'redneck' out of the girl, can you?"

To Celine Dion I would say: "Shut the f&$k up!"

To Eliza Dushku I would say: "So, you did Tru Calling and not a Buffy spinoff. How'd that work out for you?"

To Nicole Kidman I would say: "Aren't you glad he's not your problem anymore. BTW, How you Doin?"

To Brad Pitt I would say: "You're so pretty!"

To Viggo Mortensen I would say: "Wasn't Viggo the evil guy in Ghostbusters II? Were you related?"

To Ben Affleck I would say: "I guess you are proof that going to a stripper can turn out OK, eh?"

To Paris Hilton I would say: "Nicole Richie is way cooler than you."

To Nicole Richie I would say: "Paris Hilton is way cooler than you."

To Rebecca Romijn-Stamos I would say: "How you Doin?"

To Johnny Depp I would say: "How you Doin?"

To Keanu Reeves I would say: "Give it up. You suck."

To Madonna I would say: "Were you ever really a virgin?"

To Salma Hayek I would say: "Cómo sean usted haciendo?"

To Orlando Bloom I would say: "Don't make a movie with Angelina Jolie. You could be next on her list."

To Tom Cruise I would say: "Don't make any more movies, unless it's with Angelina Jolie. (That would be great for Katie). Oh, and shut the f&$k up!"

That's all I can think of right now. What celebrity would you like to say something to? ;)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Question Of The Day

What bugged you the most today? What pissed you off?

It occurred to me that everyone experiences something that bugs them daily. Maybe even pisses them off. So I want to know what bugged/pissed you off today.

I want to know because here is mine: I had a lunch date that got canceled. So I decided that I would go with a dearly loved friend. We never, ever get to hang together without interruption so I asked if she wanted to go. She declined. She had a big breakfast and it was cold out so she was just skipping lunch.

Well, the next thing you know, she's going out with someone else for lunch. ?!?!?!? Someone who asked her after I did. Double ?!?!?!?

Yeah, I guess I know where I stand. I'll remember that, believe me.

So, what got under your skin today? :)

A Hump Day Art Gallery

OK with me. Sometimes a quickie is just fine. ;)


Don't look Grace!

Is this 'The Golden Mile'?

Even Godzilla gets some on Hump Day.

I've got a room full of hump for you. (Not to mention Starbuck's.)

I wonder if these two ever did hump?

Fairly self explanatory, don't you think?

Oh, three or four...

Uhm... I love Taco Bell too, but....

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Brain Farts

I saw part of the show 'Untold Stories of the ER' last night and they had this weird chick come into the ER who ate at least 6 rolls of toilet paper daily. Yes, I did say she ate toilet paper daily. What would possess a person to even try toilet paper as an entree anyway? It sure doesn't look appetizing to me. And how can a person try some toilet paper and find it tasty? The only possible advantage I can see to eating toilet paper is if it cleans as it comes back out, if you know what I mean. That would be cool. Poop and wipe at the same time. Maybe she was onto something?

I see where Sean Penn was out for the protesting of the Williams execution last night. There’s a guy you want on your side. Just disagree with him and he’ll pop you one. Yeah, he’s a great advocate for non-violence. The actors who crawl out for the ‘protest flavor of the week’ are annoying. You’d think they would at least try to be consistent with their causes. I think they should just all get together and protest the existence of Tom Cruise. That would make sense to me.

I hate Winter. I have no idea why I haven’t moved away to a nice warm place by now. Have you ever noticed that in Wintertime you can not get out of the shower and still feel warm? Even if your heater is maxed out that cold chill gets to you quick. It’s weird. The best thing ever invented for Winter though are heated car seats. I love having my heated seats in the cold mornings. The only problem is that the butt gets nice and warm and then I get into another vehicle with winter cold seats and my cheeks turns to cubes for a while. That can’t be good if you want to avoid hemorrhoids.

I hear the Olympics are starting up again soon. The Winter Olympics in Italy, that is. Those things just keep popping up again and again. Seems like they never stop anymore. I think I liked it better when they were all together every 4 years. Then you could plan those long vacations away because every network executive seems to think that people actually want to see that stuff on TV. It would be much easier to avoid if it were every 4 years again. What would be really cool would be to schedule the games during the Presidential election year. Then all that crap would be easier to avoid all at once. Maybe we need to do something about this.

I heard a news story recently about a study done to find out why romance in a relationship dies. It turns out that there is a chemical in the brain released during the early stages of a relationship that makes you feel all ‘lovey-dovey’. The problem is that this chemical fades about a year after it first shows up. Even people, who stayed together, married or otherwise, lost their chemically induced romantic notions after about 1 year. It’s good to know that scientists are making progress on proving that romance dying isn’t just a ‘man thing’. But what I want to know is how do I get my hands on some of this chemical? I want to bottle it and sell it. Then I could really be “The Love Doctor”. I’d create Pepe LePews running around everywhere. How fun would that be to see? Note: I wouldn’t use the stuff. I’d just want to watch. :)

Monday, December 12, 2005

Remember When?

Got this from Meritt who got it from somewhere...... It was fun so I thought I'd try it here. Have at it.

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a completely made-up and fictional memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -good or bad - but it has to be fake.

New Poll Posted

I know! It's been about 2 months but I finally got a new Poll made. Thanks for all the applause. I appreciate it.

In keeping with the Christmas theme, I thought it would be cool to see what everyones favorite Christmas special was. I may have done this one before.... maybe, but it's still fun to do.

As always, if I missed your favorite, just write it into a comments section and I'll make sure it is added to the final tally.

For some weird reason I was thinking this morning that I would really like to hear Bugs Bunny sing some Christmas Carols. I know there have been some Christmas themed Looney Tunes cartoons, but I think Bugs and that New York accent singing carols would be a crack-up. Wouldn't it be great to hear Bugs and Daffy singing 'Baby, It's Cold Outside'? It would be best to still have Mel Blanc doing the voice, but that isn't possible anymore. Anyone out there capable of doing a good Bugs imitation?

Saturday, December 10, 2005

When A Second Seems Like An Hour

Last night I was sitting in the dark looking at the snow. I started thinking about the times when I was a kid and I'd build a snow fort or one of those tunnels or something and then I'd lay down waiting for someone to come by. I remembered how the snow started out feeling cold but soon it felt warm and cozy and then I started getting sleepy. I know that I easily could have slept there. The thing is, I now know that people can freeze to death like that and not even know it. I didn't know it then.

As I was remembering those times I started wanting to go outside and lay in the snow and fall asleep. I wanted to cover myself up and get into that nice cozy, warm space and sleep. I wanted to not wake up.

For the one second that that thought was in my head I felt so relieved. I felt like it would be so good. It felt like the right thing to do. That one second was so seductive, so alluring and so hard to resist that it felt like it lasted an hour. For one second, I wanted to go and lay in the snow and sleep. Forever.

I know it was only one second of what some may consider insanity. But it had quite a draw. It still is in my head and I now wonder wtf is up. Weird.

One second can seem like an hour sometimes.

** Edited: No, I'm not suicidal or anything like that. No one freak out. It was just something weird that happened and I'm wondering why it seemed so cool.

BS Friday Answer

Not too much activity this week for BS Friday. Maybe poems aren't as fun?

OK, the poem is mine and it is about someone I was totally committed to. The problem was, she wasn't so committed to me.

Jen got it right again. Peachy, our conversation recently about how 'it's better to have loved and lost...' brought this one on. I don't think that saying is true for everyone. This relationship (the one in the poem) left me with the inability to feel completely secure in any future relationships. Maybe it's better to be ignorant. I think so.

Sorry if it bummed you out Summer. It was a spur of the moment idea.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Welcome To BS Friday

Welcome to BS Friday. You know the drill. Check it out and tell me if it's truth or just BS. This week there's a different spin on BS Friday. Poetry for the broken hearted. First, is it mine? Second, is it about me and.... someone? Good luck and try to keep the tears off the woodwork. ;)

She handed me the ring
I sold it to the shop
I didn't want it anymore

She told me I was the one
I believed her for a minute
she lied for longer than that

She was the one for me
I knew it was different for her
she knew it before we kissed

I held her for a while
for as long as she allowed
she needed only what she took

The end was all she wanted
she winced when she took notice
of how long she had tarried

I still feel her today
the piece of me she cut
still lives in her pocket

I won't believe her again
even if it's not really her
even when I want to try

Time heals all wounds
I hear that is the truth
liars don't know what they're saying

Snow Days Are Our Friend

I just came back inside from shoveling snow. We had our first big snow storm last night. It’s beautiful outside. The shoveling took me a lot longer than I had thought it would. This house has a much bigger area to maintain. I don’t mind though. Shoveling snow and mowing grass are the two things I really like to do outside.

I did our whole driveway. Then I did our sidewalks. I got to the porch and I was feeling pretty good. Almost time to go inside. Then I see our 91 year old neighbor standing on her back porch waving to me. That sounds like a nice picture I know, but what it means is that she wants something. I had a sinking feeling that I knew what it was.

When I got over to her house she was acting quite distressed. She couldn’t get in touch with the guy who usually does her shoveling. She asked if I’d mind just making a couple of tracks down the driveway so that a car could get in and out. I had thought that was what she needed. I told her it was no problem.

She thanked me and started to go inside when she let out a little yelp. I hid a smile (because it was cute) and she turned and told me she had locked herself outside. Now I was worried. I thought I was going to have to host this person all day until she could get her door opened again. Then after about 5 minutes of babbling on about what she should do, she snaps her fingers and laughs. She just remembered that she had a spare key stashed outside somewhere. (You have to see the animation when she gets going. It's hilarious!) I went and got it for her so she could get back inside. The whole time she was going on about how she had never done that before. Uh huh. Then why did you have a key stashed outside ‘just in case’?

As I started doing the ‘tracks’ in the driveway I realized that leaving snow to melt and re-freeze in those tracks made no sense, so I just shoveled the whole driveway. Then I realized that her front walk had to be done so the mailman could get to the mailbox, so I went ahead and did that too.

She came back out and thanked me profusely for helping her out. She wanted to pay me and when I refused she gave me the weirdest look. She told me about the neighbors who all had snow blowers and would never offer to help. Then she thanked me again and I finally got back inside my house. It was quite the start to the day. I didn’t expect 2.5 hours of shoveling snow.

So now here I am, having a bologna and grape jelly sandwich, sucking down a cherry Pepsi and checking in on blog friends. I guess I could get in to work now. The roads look Ok, but wtf. I’m not going to bother. Besides, if I go back out there the old lady might need me to take her shopping or something. Snow days are a gift. Time for screwing around. I can’t risk that. Right? ;)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Blogger Issues

Is anyone else having issues with Blogger? I am having a hard time logging in. Also when I try to go and visit someone else's blog, most of the time I get an error message on the first try.

I sure hope we aren't going into another bad blogger spell like this time last year. That was frustrating.

One Half Of A Person?

I heard someone say that they were "...expecting between 5 and 6 people to show up...." That's neat! Maybe a half a person is coming to their thing? I wish I was there to meet them.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


I heard last night that the best way to tell how your romance is going is to be given the choice between a good steak dinner and some lovin. Whichever one is your first inclination to choose, that's where your relationship is. Personally, I'll take either one medium rare.

Nicci had an Uncle that was 7’2” tall. His shoe size was 15. Can you imagine the size of that guy? How about what that foot looked like out of the shoe? I sure wouldn't have wanted to be around when he came in after a hard day of work and wanted to kick off his shoes. I assume the smell would be relative to the size of the foot, right?

While watching the SciFi mini-series The Bermuda Triangle I noticed that Lou Diamond Phillips has a huge protruding forehead. Right above the eyes is a big ridge. There are some advantages to that like never having to worry about sweat getting into your eyes, always getting good parts in scary movies (less makeup needed) & not really needing to wear a Baseball cap at games. I wonder how I can get one?

Why is it called a 'manicure' when it's mostly considered a woman thing?

Is it possible to talk someone to death? I just had Gabby Hayes in my office jabbering on for 45 minutes. I think I said perhaps 5 words. Some of it was interesting, but how does someone keep going on & on like that? It reminded me of that commercial where the little tiny cheerleader girl is wearing out the cell phone. (I love that one BTW) I didn't feel near death or anything, but would I know if it was on the way or is 'death by talking' one of those sudden things?

I had some other things on my mind but the caffeine is raging through my veins at an alarming rate and I must get up and burn off some energy. Perhaps I will remember what it was I was thinking later. Until then.....

Get Outta My Head

Tonight on the way home I had two different subjects on my mind. I tried to shove them away a few times but I just couldn’t. The first was my beloved Yankees. More specifically I was running through the post season of 2004. Yes, it’s over a year old and I still am in shock.

I still can’t get over that loss. I guess I should say ‘those losses’. Maybe the fact that Tom Gordon is gone now has brought it all back again. I don’t know. I do know I never liked Gordon and I am so grateful that he is no longer a Yankee. I don’t care who says he’s a good pitcher, I never saw him come into a game and do his job. Mostly I got to see him mess it up.

That last game (it should have been the last game) of the A.L. Championship that he let get away is still burned into my brain. To me, that made him seem like a red sux player all over again. I’m glad he’s gone.

The other thing I couldn’t get off my mind was Jennifer Love Hewitt. I like her new show, The Ghost Whisperer. I’ve seen it a few times and I think it just keeps getting better. (Now suddenly I’m wondering how Lars feels about it.) But I keep wondering what she’s like to talk to. I just can’t get an inkling as to what she must be like. A lot of other celebrities you can imagine a conversation with, but for some reason, I don’t have a clue what it would be like to speak with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

I read recently where she is a huge pop star in Japan. I knew she was a singer but I’ve never heard anything she’s done. But the Japanese love her. I’m not too sure that is any kind of recommendation though. I remember seeing a Japanese metal band back in the 80’s play in Baltimore. They were huge in Japan at the time. The only good thing I can remember from it was how the singer kept screaming “Are you ready to rock-n-roll Baltimore!?!” (You have to say that with a heavy Japanese accent.) It is still funny to me.

Nope, I do not know how or why these thing pop into my brain like they do. They just do. Sometimes I can't just chase them away either.

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Interesting Day Indeed

***I tried to post this yesterday afternoon but somehow it was in "Drafts" when I checked this morning. So here it is now, properly posted.

I came in today with a plan. Yeah, I know, I should have learned my lesson long ago about doing that. Well, as per usual, I got part way into my plan and got sidetracked and ended up doing a lot of stuff off the plan. Still, a productive day. Just not what I had planned.

Then a bunch of us went to lunch. We took the new girl to 'our Tuesday burger joint' to break her in properly. The place has the best burgers around and on Tuesday's they are 1/2 price. I hitched a ride in the Peachy-mobile with the new girl and the other guys came later. (We were tired of waiting for them. Well, when the second part of our group, the Engineers, parked the car, their driver bumped into the back of a parked car. He didn't hit it hard and there wasn't any damage but here's the surprise, the owner of that car was sitting in it. He apparently wasn't too happy about that love tap either.

They got that straightened out and we finally all got to order. During the conversation and scarfing, Engineer guy decided to demonstrate how the game of flipping coasters is done. When he was into his demonstration, he manages to knock over the new girl's glass and spill water all over her lap. You should have seen his face. He turned totally red. It was hilarious. Talk about breaking the new girl in nicely!

Later on in the afternoon, Peachy and I were talking about life stuff (mostly her's) and she said she had to stop talking to me about things. She said I was like the bad devil on her shoulder telling her to do bad things and she was the good angel on her other shoulder trying to get her to be good. I thought that was really funny. It may seem like that too because when I analyze things, I try to look at every angle and sort through the crap. Always I will decide that my opinion is the one that favors the most fun stuff a person can experience in any given situation so it seems like I am an advocate of anything mischievious. That's not really true, but I can see how she would think that.

Then we were talking to one of the 'cool' Maintenance guys and he was telling us how he doesn't like anybody. He made a good point for it too. It really did seem like he didn't like anybody at all. Then he admitted that he liked Peachy and me, so we were a little relieved. I was almost convinced that he was a total Scrooge.

So that's the day's recap. I hope you found something you can use for you entertainment pleasure. I sort of enjoyed the whole thing, to tell you the truth. :)

Pimp Daddy YB

Found this on Madley's blog. Just call me Maestro. ;)

Your Pimp Name Is...

Maestro Glider

Blogger Screwed Us

Last night I could not get Blogger to work. It must have been down or something. I just kept getting an error message when I tried to check in.

Then I Googled myself and found the blog but when I tried to get that to work, the same thing happened. Then I found a few other blog friends via Google, but none of them worked either. It was frustrating!

The reason I was so persistant was that I had this amazing post all ready to go (in my head). It was a very important one too. In it I was going to finally reveal the truth about our existance. I was going to reveal the truth about love, life and the true reason we are here on Earth. I was even going to explain just what the heck causes the common cold. Yep, I finally figured out all the mysteries of the universe and Blogger chose that moment to be off-line. Figures.

Perhaps it wasn't an accident. Maybe those secrets weren't meant to be explained. Maybe fate was just teasing us and didn't allow me to reveal all those things. I can't remember it all today so I can't post what I knew yesterday. Now that Blogger is working, those secrets are all a blur to me. Figures.

Blogger screwed us.

One secret I did learn this morning and I can let you in on is this: Happines is a new pair of wool socks in the Winter.

I learned that from Peachy just this morning. At least we all know that one important secret now. Blogger can't take that one away once this publishes.

Hmmm.... maybe I shouldn't have said that.... let's see if this works.... CLICK!

Monday, December 05, 2005

This Is What We Call Fun

One of our co-workers just came in (we'll call her Gabby Hayes for future reference) and was talking about how her heat was turned up so high last night she had a hard time sleeping. It was on because her fiancee got chilled playing football outside all day and then grilled out afterward. The weather here is pretty cold so I can see how he got chilled.

Her story made me think of the days a few years ago when a huge group of us from work would get together every weekend and play football. We always had 12-14 on a side and we always played. No matter what the weather was, we played. I remember playing in cold rain, sleet & snow. It became a matter of honor somehow not to miss the game. No matter what, we played.

I'm not talking about warm weather either. We never even started planning games before November. Now that I look back on it I think we were all a bit screwey.

I remember one weekend in particular when it was very cold but it was raining too. It was cold enough that the rain was turning to ice on the roads. Most of us fools still showed up to play anyway. We didn't have any real football gear either. We wore sweats and rubber cleats. That was our gear.

This weekend was a brutal one. Imagine wearing a shirt, 2 sweatshirts, 2 pairs of sweat pants, wool socks and cleats and then getting soaked in the freezing rain. With every step we ran the water splashed into our faces and into the shoes. Luckily the toes became numb quickly. With every tackle, the clothes got more soaked and the longer the daywent the colder it got. I remember running down the field toward the end of the day, going out for a pass and the puddles splashing everywhere. My clothes felt like an extra 20 pounds on me and just trying to keep my footing was a chore. The ball was thrown my way and when it hit my fingers, which had been numb to that point, the stinging sensation was almost unbearable. I held onto the ball and literally stumbled into the endzone, falling flat on my face and sliding for 5 feet to a stop. When I hit the ground the water just flowed down the neck of my sweatshirts and completely froze me. I had never felt anything like that before. It was like electric shocks coursing all through me. It was right then and there that I remember thinking how much fun I was having. Even being chilled for 2 days afterward I remember eagerly anticipating the next game.

So when Gabby Hayes was complaining how her fiancee turned the heat up so high trying to shake the chill, I understood. Even after soaking in a hot bath and sitting in front of the fire he was still cold and couldn't shake the chill. That made me smile.

I'll bet he had a kick-ass time.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Hello Old Friend

Yeah, I remember you. I knew you right away. How could I forget? It’s those eyes. They are unforgettable. There are no other eyes like that in the world. Can’t be. Easily the most intense, most differently colored, most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.

I knew who you were before I even saw your face. I didn’t need to. But the face is still the same. Almost. More wrinkles. Deeper wounds on a pretty face. I look intentionally at the corners of those eyes. Looking for the little wrinkles that tell me you still laugh. They are cut deep. They are still prominent. Still the deepest. That makes me smile.

The surprise on your face was genuine. How could we have run into each other so far from there? Where we knew each other was a long way from here. It was a long time from here. It’s a small world after all. ;)

I feel good to see you. You were a light back then. I think didn’t know it though. Not until it was too late.

I feel bad to hear your story. The choices you made a decade ago have led you here. To where you are ready to start all over again. Too bad. I knew it then. We knew it then. You chose differently. Follow your heart? Gets you in trouble sometimes.

Thanks. I missed you too. It was good to see you too. The hug is familiar. It ignites a dull ache in the pit of my stomach. Something long ago forgotten. Well, apparently not forgotten. Maybe just lost in storage.

Walk away now. I didn’t miss you before. I haven't for a while at least. I will now. It was good to see you too. Take care of you.

Huh. I don’t even know where you are going. Where you live now. Funny, I never thought to find out. I wonder how that happens? Maybe I didn’t want to know? Perhaps I wasn’t ready to know. Best to let sleeping dogs lie.

It sure was good to see you again.

I think so anyway.

BS Friday Answer

Time for the truth to come out about this week's BS Friday story. The whole thing is false. I lied. Forgive me?

I like the way PlatinumGirl described her thoughts on it, "....even if there is a kernel of truth to it I'm calling B.S." There was a kernel of truth to it. But just a kernel. I did know someone named Judith and she did run in the skimpy outfit during lunches, but that was it. Her live-in guy was a Major in the Marine Corps so not too many people took a chance on 'getting to know her'. That was the extent of the truth.

Thanks to everyone for playing along and tune in next week for more BS.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Question Of The Day

Will I ever be able to write a short-n-sweet BS Friday Post?

I do try.

Welcome To BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. I’ll write it, you tell me if it’s true or just plain old BS. This week’s post is called: A ‘Lifetime’ Moment

December 5th is coming. I hate December 5th. December 5th is the day that Judith went away for good.

Way back when I was just recently out of high school I had a girlfriend named Judith. She was 11 years older than me. She was a Manager in the same company where I was working. That’s how we met.

She taught me a lot about life. She was one of the smartest, sweetest and most patient people I’ve ever met. She had to be patient because back then I was so full of crap that when I think back on that me, I can hardly stand myself.

She used to run 2 miles every day at lunch time. A lot of guys at work noticed her routine and would take lunch outside just to see her leave and come back. She wore those little, tight spandex shorts and a sports bra to run. Then she would shower and go back to work. She was a sight to see.

One day I decided I would start running too. She had inspired me. I didn’t want to make her think I was being weird or anything so I would change clothes and head up to the local park to run the trail there. I did that for several weeks until one day I was running along on the trail and suddenly I heard footsteps behind me. I moved over to the side so the person could pass by, but they got beside me and just stayed there. I looked over and it was Judith.

She just smiled and quickly said, “Do you mind company?” I just shook my head no and we kept on going. We ran the trail 3 laps that day. It was 0.7 miles for one lap so we made our 2 miles. Afterward, we stood and talked and she told me she liked company when running and when she heard I was going to the trail, she thought she’d come along as long as I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind at all. To my young mind (currently under the almost total control of my penis) I was halfway to scoring with an uber-hot babe.

We kept at the running for some time. Eventually I got strong enough to allow some conversation while running. We talked about a lot of things and got to be friends. Then we started going out. Mostly innocent things like trips to coffee shops and sometimes she liked to go to the local dinner theatre. I tagged along always. At first because I thought she was so hot. Later because I liked her as a person. I learned a lot about her those first few weeks. One thing I learned quickly was that she had moved to the area to be with her dying Mother. She had left behind a man she cared a lot about but had decided that her Mom was more important. Apparently it was a very hard thing for her to do.

Soon we became closer than friends. We started ‘dating’, as she would say. We did a lot of cool things together that I would never have dreamed of doing. She was from a very wealthy family and they did things I had only read about. I learned about the difference between good wine and bad wine at the wine tasting parties she took me to. I learned proper etiquette at nice dinner places. I learned patience with people and especially when making love. It was an almost surreal time in my life when I look back on it. Kinda like a movie on Lifetime.

Just like on Lifetime, all good things must end and so did Judith and I. A few months after we got close, her Mother passed away. There was the typical funeral and sad weeks afterward settling all the estate affairs. I stood by her all the time, never leaving her unless she wanted to be alone. Sometimes it was hard. Mostly it was something I felt good about being able to do for her.

Then one day she came by my place and told me she was leaving. She was headed back to her old life. She also told me she planned on trying to patch up things with the guy she had left behind the year before. I should have known it was coming. Truthfully, I did in a way. Still, I didn’t accept it very well. I actually was pretty mad about it even though it should have been obvious. I gave her a hard time about it until she finally gave up and left.

I never went to help her pack. I never went to say goodbye. I just sulked and acted like an ass until it became too late to do anything positive anyway. I finally got myself together and the next weekend I hurried to her place, hoping to at least say goodbye. It was too late though. Her landlord told me she had pulled out about 15 minutes earlier.

Now I was panicked. I didn’t want to leave it that way. So I got in the car and headed out, hoping to catch her on the highway. After about an hour, I saw her car ahead. I got up beside her and kept motioning for her to pull over. Finally she did. She got out of her car and I hugged her and held her and told her how sorry I was to have acted so stupidly. I told her how I didn’t want to leave any negative stuff between us. She was happy that I had caught her and, even though there would always be the negative last few days we had together, she would always remember the good stuff the most.

Finally she got ready to go and this time I gave her a proper sendoff. As I watched her drive out of my life I felt a bit of calm this time. I would miss her. No doubt, but at least she wouldn’t have her last memory of us being one where I was acting like a baby.

That was December 5th of 1988. I still don’t care for that day.

Morning Stuff

This morning at Starbuck's the woman behind me in line ordered a grande skim decaf 180 degree latte with 1 pack of splenda and no foam. Now, I know from personal experience that coffee is an acquired taste. Most people get hooked over time and don't just one day grab a cup o' java and decide that it is the best thing they ever tasted. What I'm wondering is how this woman decided all those little things about how she wanted her coffee to taste.

I think it has to take years to decided all those little nuances for a latte. How does the no foam effect the taste? How does the 180 degrees make a difference? You would have to work hard over time to get that brew just right. Personally, I believe someone ordering something like that really doesn't like coffee. It sounds like there is no coffee taste left anyway.

Last night I checked out Sin City again. (Remember how I wasn't sure what I thought about it?) I do know that I like it now. But I have come to one other conclusion. Did anyone notice how everyone in the movie is a heavy smoker? They have sex, they smoke. They kill someone, they smoke. They torture and maim, they smoke. The one main character that you don't see smoke is Jessica Alba's character Nancy, who happens to be the only one that seems like a good person. Everyone else is a killer or hooker or bad cop... whatever. So here's the lesson I've learned from the movie; Bad people smoke. Nice/good people don't smoke. There really isn't much else of significance to glean from the movie so I'll take that.

I finally got the floor in my basement done yesterday. Instead of replacing the ruined carpet, we decided to put down hardwood on the bad side. It turned out great. Now I have this really cool room in the basement that is half carpet and half hardwood. It sounds funny but it looks great. It's like there are 2 rooms now.

The delays were driving me crazy. I hadn't planned on getting the insurance company involved in the first place. If I hadn't it would have been done weeks ago. But when it was suggested and we found out that they would cover a lot of the cost, we went with it. I guess that's what you get when you want to save money. Oh well, it's done now.

For those of you stopping by for the BS Friday post, it is coming. I know I missed last week but I won't miss this week. Just give me a little while and I'll have something posted.

OK, time to get going with this day. Fridays are great, aren't they?

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Today's Helpful Tip

...From your helpful friend, Helpie Helperson.

Tip: When you are in need of professional help it would be best to know you can actually be helped.

Remember, Helpie says any help is good help. :)

HNT In YB's World

I have been a lurker in the HNT world since it started. It has become one of my favorite Thursday things. There are a lot of creative people out there (not to mention sexy people) and I think Osbasso started something awesome.

In honor of HNT, I am posting some pics of people from my world. This is probably the only HNT post I'll do and although it is decidedly tongue-in-cheek, I hope you enjoy it.

First, here's Peachy. :)

Next, Spacebrain. (You have to imagine him with a mustache though.)

This is a guy we work with. (He really does look like this.)

This is my 91 year old neighbor.

This is an old friend from high school. She has that bod but also a similar face.

This is a business executive we all know (and love).

Finally, this is me. ;)

So there's my first (and probably last) HNT post. I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to see the real deal, check out the King Of HNT. His site will point you in the right direction.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Question Of The Day

If you work at a stupid place and you work with stupid people but you don't feel stupid, are you just fooling yourself?

Not All Life Is Sacred

There has been a lot of debate lately in the local news about the death penalty. The reason is that there is another murderer scheduled to die next week in MD but his lawyers are throwing out all the possible stalls and appeals they can, trying to drum up some sympathy for him. Trying to get the Governor to commute his sentence. Sickening.

The jerk murdered a Grandmother for $5.00 in broad daylight right in front of her grandchildren. $5.00 for some drugs. He had a drug problem and somehow that makes it OK? Makes it more tolerable? I don't think so. He's scum. He deserves to get what he earned. And he did earn the death penalty.

Apparently there is an even worse scumbag out in California that a lot of soft-headed bleeding hearts want to actually set free. Some guy named Stan Tookie Williams who has had one of those miraculous death row conversions and is now a fine, upstanding citizen. Everyone seems to forget that he left a wake of death and misery behind him. (He was convicted of 4 killings.) Not to mention the fact that he was the co-founder of the infamous 'Crips' gang who have most certainly helped a lot more people into their graves over the years.

Now some people want to set him free. Give him a second chance. Why? What about the victims? How do they get a second chance at life? They don't. They are dead. Their families have been severely affected. Just because someone has 'found religion' and seemingly reformed themselves in the limited confines of prison, doesn't mean they should not pay for their crimes. No matter who they claim they are, they still did some pretty hateful things.

I don't know who decided that all life is sacred but they are wrong. I don't believe that a living, breathing rapist, murderer or child molestor has any right to life. They had no problem with destroying someone else's life and the lives of their victims loved ones. For me, anyone who does those things has voluntarily given up their rights as a human and joined the ranks of the animals.

The death penalty isn't murder as some may claim. You don't murder animals, you kill them.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Rod Stewart and Fiancée Have Baby Boy

Rod is 60. That kid will be lucky to be 10 by the time he croaks. He's lived hard. How stupid and selfish an idea for the old guy to still be breeding.

Remember what Eddie Murphy used to joke about when it comes to singers and sex? "Just sing and the women will love you! You don't even have to be good looking." That's what he used to say. Rod and his new girl are proof of that.

It's The Law

I heard a news story this morning where a woman was driving along and apparently lost control of her car. She ran off the road and into an embankment. No one was hurt, including herself. No one was even nearby so there was no danger of hurting someone. But she still was arrested or ticketed (whichever) for “Failure to control speed to avoid a collision”.

This sounds fishy to me. How come someone can be fined for something like that when no one and nothing was hurt? How did the cop know that she was not controlling her speed well enough to avoid a collision?

Seems like there is a new law popping up every day. One that is carefully worded to make sure that you pay a fine no matter what.

What’s next? How about “Failure to slow down at an acceptable rate when approaching a stop light”? Maybe one like “Improper placement of a gas cap while filling the tank”. How about “Failure to have the clairvoyance to know that in 10 minutes someone will hit you and you didn’t avoid it”?

Don’t laugh. It could happen. Because Big Brother is watching and he wants all your money.

Life Studies With Professor Eggbert

Yesterday I was thinking that the world would be a better place if people didn’t really know how to insult each other. Have you noticed that personal insults come at you or from you for almost any reason? I have. You yell insults at people while driving. (You don’t even know them.) You tell someone they are stupid if they say something you don’t agree with. You get a slanderous remark if you do almost anything contrary to what someone else thinks you should do. But what if we didn’t know how to properly insult someone? This made me wonder.....

So naturally I had to do an experiment. And naturally, Nicci was my lab rat, so to speak.

While Nicci was cooking up some stuff last night I decided to try and get on her nerves. On purpose. For the scientific approach to this question in my mind. I am good at that, so I didn’t feel I had any worries there. She was just talking about her day and I was constantly making stupid comments when finally it happened; she looked at me and said, “What is your problem? You are an ass tonight.” That was my cue to begin the experiment so I immediately replied, “Yeah, well..... your dress is blue!”

The stunned look on her face was precious! All she could say was “Huh?”

This is how the conversation went:

N: “What is that supposed to mean?”
B: “That’s what you get for calling me an ass.”
N: “But it makes no sense. It’s a stupid thing to say.”
B: “Oh, so now I’m stupid. OK, well..... you aren’t wearing any shoes!”
N: “Oh boy. I can see you are in one of those goofy moods tonight, aren’t you?”
B: “Oh, so now I’m goofy. OK, well..... I saw you driving your car tonight!”
N: “Yeah I do that every day. What, are you blind?”
B: “So now I’m blind eh? Well..... you have brown hair! So there!”

That’s when Nicci started laughing. She didn’t stop for a while either. Then I explained to her my thoughts and let her know that I was using her for my experiment. She even laughed more at that. But in the end, I proved my point. If people didn’t know how to hurl real insults, all conversations would end up in laughter.

Try it today and see how things go. I’ll bet you make some new friends or just get closer to some old ones. Maybe we can make the world a nicer place to live. ;)