Saturday, July 30, 2005

Yoj's Questions

OK, I asked for it. Yoj sent me some questions to answer and, as I expected, they were quite creative and not quite ordinary. But hey, that's what I would expect from our lovely friend in Tennessee. Here we go:

1. If you had the ability to travel back in time and have supper with Marilyn Monroe & Joe, would you pick up the tab and aside from baseball (for Joe), what would you want to know about them?

Great question. First I would ask Joe what color the sky was because I would just want to hear him say “Yankee blue.” Then I would ask Marilyn what really is a girl’s best friend and I know she wouldn’t say diamonds but rather champagne. Then I would ask both of them why they ever thought getting married was a good idea knowing that they had such opposite and diametrically opposed views about life and the world. Lastly, I would ask Joe why he chose Mr. Coffee as his only endorsement. Of all the possible things he could have chosen, it was Mr. Coffee.

Then I would offer to pay for dinner, but I’m sure Joe D. wouldn’t allow it. He was notorious for buying dinner for his friends, even going so far as to get angry when a rookie tried to buy his dinner. A famous quote from Joe D.: “When you eat with the Dago, the Dago pays.” (Or something like that.)

2. Do you have one secret little fetish- and will you tell me? I have several secrets Yoj. I would answer them privately, but not here. One that I will confess to is checking out the HNT posts, but that's not really too secret.

3. As far as music goes, is there an artist you've seen more than twice? Who was it and what draws you to see them over and over again? OK, I have seen Eric Clapton a few times. To me, he is the finest blues guitarist there is. I can't get enough of listening to him play. I wish he'd just do an entire CD of open jams. Just him ad-libbing with a good band for background. If I could play for just one moment like him, I could die happy.

4. If I asked you to do the Pepsi challenge nude, say, by the Washington Monument or at Mount Rushmore and I switched both to Coke (with cherry), would you do it & do you think you'd always get it right? I would do that without much prompting at all. Sounds like fun. Maybe the bystanders wouldn't like it so much though. I also know that I would get the Pepsi/Cherry Coke thing right every time. Not a problem.

5. A stripper who goes by the name Liquid Candy asks you to go have sex with her in the champaigne room. A) Do you go? B) Do you buy the champaigne and C) Do you look for visable scars from her tittie surgery? I would give her tittie scars a nice massage while sipping the champagne that I bought for relaxing after we had gotten to a point in our 'exertions' where we needed a breather. ;)

Friday, July 29, 2005

BS Friday Answer

The BS Friday story is true. Every word. Thanks to those who had faith in me. Blah! to those who didn't. I don't blame you for doubting me though. Sometimes things that sound too good to be true really are. But some memories from my past life are really pretty cool.

The woman in question went on to have a music career that has been mediocre at best. I did a Google search for her and apparently she is still out there performing somewhere. I've never heard her recordings.

I really do still have that great Robert Johnson t-shirt too. It's stashed in my memories box somewhere. When I'm an old fart, it's one of those things I'll pull out and brag about. Probably less people will believe it then.

Welcome To BS Friday

Yes, it's BS Friday again. That wonderful time of the week when you get to write whatever you want and everyone else has to guess if you are telling the truth like a nice little angel or lying like a politician. Here is my latest installment titled “My One Brush with a Celebrity”:

In my home town, like most small towns, they have a week when the Fireman's Carnival is going on. Normally I don't bother with it much, with the exception of going there occasionally for some food. The Ladies Auxiliary makes some kick-ass stuff. Anyway, one night around 10:30 p.m., I was bored so I decided to go down to see what was happening. As I approached I noticed something strange, the band that was playing wasn't a country band. That was a shock! Naturally I had to see what was going on.

I got to the bandstand, all the while loving the bluesy tunes they were playing and when I finally saw who it was, the mystery was no more. The singer was a local woman who had been in the news a lot recently because she had just been signed to a big time recording contract. I also knew a couple of the guys in the band, so I had scored! Good live music kills boredom quick.

Once the set was done, I moseyed over to talk with some of the guys in the band. After a little while I noticed that the singer wasn’t anywhere around. They pointed her out to me at a table next to the stage. She was signing autographs for anyone who wanted one. So, being the autograph hound I am (I have a decent sized collection btw) I decided I should get one. Who knows, maybe she would get uber-famous?

Once I got there, I started talking with her and I noticed that she kept staring at my t-shirt. She kept breaking eye contact and looking down at the front of my shirt. I felt like a big boobed woman showing cleavage around a bunch of mammary obsessed guys. It was weird. Finally she stopped talking and told me how much she loved the shirt. She wanted to know where I got it, how could she get one, yada, yada, yada… It was a cool one. It was a white shirt with a pencil drawing type picture of Robert Johnson on it. I should have guessed that she would like that one, her being a blues/country type singer.

Anyway, she signed a picture for me and we talked a bit more, but every now and then she would come back to the t-shirt. Finally, I offered to give it to her. She actually seemed shocked, but after a few offers, she finally accepted. I didn’t want to strip right there, so I told her if she would come to my place one day later in the week I would give it to her. I gave her my address and that was that. Or so I thought.

I hung around to see them do their last set, said goodnight to everyone I knew and headed home. I got cleaned up, got ready for bed and as I was just about to turn off the lights, someone started knocking on my door. Now, it was about 1:30 a.m. by this time, so I had no idea who would be ‘stopping by’ at that hour. I was not amused. When I opened the door, ready to bite someone’s head off, there was my new singer friend. Hmm… I thought, “She must really like that damn shirt!” I let her in and we had a beer while we talked. She played my guitar a little and I played and sang a couple of my songs for her. Then she brought up the shirt issue. When I got it and handed it to her, she smiled and said, “Maybe I should try it on.” A dim bulb suddenly came on in my head. Could it be…???... She when into the bathroom and when she came back, she had the shirt on. Nothing else but the shirt. (Wheee!) It fit her well, but under the circumstances, I didn’t really think it couldn’t. ;)

Well, after the modeling session, one thing led to another and, well, let’s just say that the sunrise came real early. By the time she was dressed and leaving, it was already a bright, sunny morning. She was headed out on some kind of tour two days after this and I never saw her again. One thing I did do was drive that day to the store and get myself another one of those t-shirts. I still have it stored away to this day.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Today's Helpful Tip

From your helpful friend, Helpie Helperson.

Tip: When speaking to the V.P. of the company, make sure to look at her eyes and not at her cleavage when she's talking to you. Getting caught checking out her bazoombas could eliminate you from the future plans of the business. (Sneaky peeks are OK. Just be careful.)

Remember, Helpie says any help is good help. :)

They're Everywhere!

Last night while we were visiting my Uncle in the hospital, my attention was drawn to a familiar voice outside in the hall. I heard 2 women talking and heading down the hall toward us and I knew right away who they were. As they got to the front of the door and started to pass by, I yelled out to them. They stopped and leaned back into the doorway to see who the heck was yelling. It was C & D (names excluded on purpose) from my favorite Starbuck's.

This might not seem like a big deal, but the hospital is about 40 miles from home. Also, they were there to visit the guy in the room right next to my Uncle.

They came in and visited for a few minutes and I introduced them to my Uncle as the best coffee-makers in the city. Then I made a joke about them doing deliveries and C laughed, held up the bag she was carrying and showed me that she was doing just that. Delivering Starbuck's stuff to the guy next door.

Not only were they making a delivery to a friend, but he was a friend only because he was a regular visitor to their Starbuck's and they just came by to help boost his spirits. Now, how cool is that?

You do not find good people and good service like that anywhere anymore.

Maybe tonight they will visit again and bring me a Double Shot. That would be sweet!

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Tagged By Grace

Grace tagged me with these 5 questions. Now, before I answer them I will say that I played something similar a few months ago and I ended up sucking at sending other people questions. Sorry. The one person, and I won't mention any names, that I did send questions to never answered them anyway. So, if you want some questions from me, maybe you should just answer the same ones.

So I'm a spoilsport. It's better than making promises and not keeping them (again).

Grace's questions to me:

1. who is your favorite movie star after sandy? :P I think I have a few movie stars I like, but picking a favorite (after Sandy) is hard. For the women, I love Kate Beckinsale, Uma Thurman, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Lucy Liu, Cate Blanchette, Nicole Kidman, Marilyn Monroe, Maureen O'Hara. Oh, and Eva Longoria! For the guys, I like very few. I think Christopher Walken is awesome. I love Will Smith. Johnny Depp, Steve Martin & Harrison Ford are cool. This is actually a tough question for me. Hmm... maybe I need to get over the Sandy thing?

2. how old were you when you first had a sip of liquor? I had my first beer when I was 17 in high school. Hated it too. Didn't try anything again until I was 20 and it was a Gin & Tonic. Then I was in love!!!

3. what's your drug of choice? Caffeine, preferably administered via Starbuck's. But when I'm jonesing, any old fix will do. ;)

4. what do you want to be when you grow up? :P I still want to be the starting 2nd baseman for the New York Yankees. That's always been my dream. I'd settle for being a musician. Unfortunately I never had quite enough talent for either. Soon, I think, I'll embark on an art career of some kind. That I can do.

5. what is the proudest moment in your life? Hmm... this is hard. I got an 'Employee of the Month' award once for stopping an explosion from happening and no one got hurt. I also think I should get an award for staying in a relationship for longer than 2 years, which was my previous record. Maybe that's my proudest moment, getting up this morning and still being married. :P

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Honesty Is Not The Best Policy

I don't think honesty is always the best policy anyway. Tonight I was packing 64 glasses in boxes that I intend to give away rather than move to the new house. (I have more than that many keepers.) Nicci was amazed that I was getting rid of so many and mentioned it. Then she asked me if I thought I would get rid of her someday and I told her the truth, "Probably."

She took me seriously.

We then had a discussion about how we are so different and that it is amazing that we are still doing OK together. It really is, btw. Anyway, I told her I have no idea why she puts up with me and I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to get rid of me. (That's the truth too.)

She got offended.

In the end we were OK, but for a few minutes there, she wasn't too happy. That sucks. I hate when that happens, but I still can't control what pops out of my mouth. It was the truth, according to YB, but probably not the best thing to let loose with.


They Will Take Over The World

I recently learned that when a female cockroach gets pregnant for the first time, she is forever pregnant afterward. Can you imagine that ladies? Always pregnant? You raise one bunch of rotten little offspring and along comes some more. Never ending breeding. Geez, how gross!

The big drawback with this is that you have sex once and you are done for life. If someone gets pregnant, at least they should have the option of having good sex first. Those roaches don't even get to boink again before becoming pregnant. That bites. I wonder if they boink anyway, even though they are already cooking up a new batch of critters?

It's no wonder they have been around for millions of years. With that breeding power, they should be able to survive forever. They will eventually take over, I'm sure. We can't keep up with that kind of longevity.

I'm sure glad they aren't carnivores. We'd really be in trouble, eh?


A morning post with a twist. Enjoy!

What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?


What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?

45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and

Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade. Who has the biggest boobs?

The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

"Are you sure it's mine?"

What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?

Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always under a buck.

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?

He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

What's the Cuban National Anthem?

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?

A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along
with... "a recipe."

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..."

A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China?

No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Monday, July 25, 2005

Lance Armstrong

So Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France again. I'm happy for him. Winning 7 times in a row is very hard to do. He is amazing considering all the obstacles he’s overcome what with the cancer and being born with an enlarged heart. Good job Lance.

But as for being a hero, I just don’t know. You know, the sport being bicycling and all. See, biking isn’t all that cool. I don't know too many people who line up for cycling tickets. Nor do you hear about someone throwing a Tour De France party (a la Superbowl party). Truthfully, I even wonder how someone gets interested enough to want to compete in a bicycling event. But that's just me.

Also, the name Lance. It's kind of weird name, not a hero name. I've heard about people who go to the Doctor to have him 'lance a boil'. Yuck. A lance is also a weapon. Remember when Bugs Bunny was tossed back in time to medieval England and that knight captured him with his lance? "Avast, ye varmit! Thou art the prisoner of me’lance." That was great.

The only Lance hero I ever knew of was Lancelot Link. That dude was a hero!

Maybe I'm missing the boat or something. I dunno. But a bicyclist just doesn't cut it with me in the hero book. I admire him for what he's accomplished and all that. He has overcome a lot to be the best pedaler around. I guess I just don't see the allure of the Tour De France.

One thing I really admire though; he's got one of the sweetest girlfriends anyone could ever want. (Sheryl Crow, for those of you who don't know.) Now that is cool! For that, I could give him a little hero worship. But again, that's just me.

I'm Back

I'm so happy to be at work today. I know that sounds weird, but it is true. The weekend, starting with Friday, was way too stressful. So coming in to work is truthfully a nice break.

Speaking of stress, I found this kind of funny, in a way. My Aunt is one of those really, really sweet people you meet. She's soft spoken and always positive. Always caring about others and never says swear words. Well this weekend the stress started showing on her too. At one point she actually said "...well she can kiss my ass!..." What!!! The whole room went silent. I think she amazed herself. Her son, who is now in his 50's, just stopped and looked at her and told her to please repeat that please because he has never heard her say something like that. Never ever. It was a crack-up moment. Once she realized what she said, she blushed so hard! It was great.

Then at one point my Mother was spouting off about something really dumb again (which is a natural state for her, believe me) and my Aunt started imitating her when she wasn't looking. It was hilarious! Also way out of character for her, but really funny. We all had to just hold our breath and not laugh out loud as my Mother finished her dumb-ass remarks.

I guess being in the hospital for 33 straight days with your husband of 56 years will stress you out. She's holding up pretty well all things considered, but I think her patience with some things is gone. Can't blame her a bit.

So I will be trying to catch up with everyone plus I have a few things to spout off about too. Stay tuned for the action. Same Bob time, same Bob channel.....

Saturday, July 23, 2005

A Quick Update

...For anyone interested.

My Uncle came through the surgery very well. The Doctor actually found 2 leaks in the lymph nodes. I’m not too clear on whether there were 2 lymph nodes leaking or 2 leaks in one, but it doesn’t matter, he fixed them.

His description was kind of gross too. He said there was a liter and a half of gunk sticking in the chest cavity under the lung he had originally operated on. He also mentioned scraping the old scar tissue and sticking the lung against the inside wall of the chest cavity after scraping it so it would attach itself to the wall. How freakin gross does that sound? Bleech!

Here’s some advice for everyone; if you can avoid it, don’t go into the Recovery Room with a loved one right after they have had surgery. It will tear you apart. They are in serious pain while trying to shake off the anesthetic. It’s not pretty plus it’s heartbreaking seeing them suffer until the pain medicine starts working. My Uncle didn’t know where he was and who we were. He also was really suffering badly from the pain in the area where he was cut. My Aunt and I were allowed into the Recovery Room yesterday and it was hard to take.

Later in Intensive Care he seemed much better. He knows everyone and knows where he is. The best part was the smile he gave us when he said, “I came through it, didn’t I?” That was great. He was sure he wouldn’t make it through another surgery. Two major operations in one month are hard on a 76-year-old person.

All in all, a decent day. A long one though. I was there for 11 hours and probably wouldn’t have left if not for the fact that no one is allowed in the Intensive Care area between 6:00 and 8:00. Plus, the couple buying our house was coming by to show it to their parents last night and I didn’t want to stick Nicci with that all alone.

They were sweet, a young Asian couple buying their first place. Very young actually. I was surprised at how young. They said that as soon as they saw our place they knew it was the one they wanted. None of the ones they had looked at were as nice. That was a nice compliment. They also are NOT painting over any of my artwork. They absolutely love it. I am relieved. I am leaving my Dartboard where it is because they liked it so much. That space wouldn’t look right without the board in place. (See the image below.) The dancing Calvin & Hobbes need something to dance around. I can always buy another one.

So that’s my quick update. I haven’t been able to catch up yet. I am looking forward to it tonight. Right now I am loading up the Jeep and heading out to the hospital again. Then I’ll be dumping off the load at my Aunt’s house, borrowing their truck and coming home for a bigger loading session. I want to move as much as possible before closing day. That way the actual move will be minimal. A piece of cake!

Thanks to everyone for the prayers and good vibes and well wishes. I really appreciate it. My Uncle is a cool guy and I’m sure if you knew him you’d be even more happy that he is getting better.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Days End

Well today was a good day & a not so good day. For starters, my Uncle’s operation was postponed until Friday morning. The Doctor said there was a scheduling conflict with the hospital and they wanted him to move to a different room at a different time with a different crew. He refused. He said that the operation was too lengthy and too high risk for him to trust a strange crew and to change the hours.

Now, that sounds good to me. It sounds like he’s taking every precaution to make sure this operation gets done right. But it also sounds like maybe it is more risky than we already are afraid it is. Sheesh!

Waiting another day is driving my Uncle crazy too. He wanted it done asap, but now he’s been bed ridden and thinking about it since Monday. Poor guy. He just wants out of the hospital.

The good thing that happened is that our house is sold. All the final papers were signed and all that stuff. Now we can move on to the next step, moving. I don’t mind that too much. I will be moving stuff to my Aunt & Uncle’s house starting this weekend. It will be stored there and when the actual moving day arrives, it will be a piece of cake.

It didn’t take us long to get this whole thing done. About 2 weeks ago we decided to go for it and already we have the house we wanted and ours is sold. Talk about getting things done in a hurry!

Tomorrow I will be in the hospital all day, so I won’t be around blogland. Youse Guys and Dolls better be good while I’m away. If you aren’t, at least post about it so I can get caught up tomorrow night. ;)

Latest Poll Results

Charlie Brown and Snoopy & SpongeBob got the most votes in this one with Marvin The Martian coming in a close second. There were a couple of write-ins, but I forgot where they were. Sorry! I know Cindy Lou added one but I can't remember who it was.

Anyway, there weren't a lot of votes this time so I moved the Poll box up where people could see it better. I don't know if this was a 'low-interest' Poll or if it was 'out of sight, out of mind' way down there on the sidebar.

The new Poll is posted. Another 'getting to know you better' one. Vote early, vote often, as they say. :)

Who is your favorite cartoon character?

Bugs Bunny 6 votes
Daffy Duck 4 votes
The Tasmanian Devil 5 votes
Marvin The Martian 7 votes
Scooby Doo 5 votes
Tigger 5 votes
Winnie The Pooh 1 vote
Mickey Mouse 1 vote
Elmer Fudd 0 votes
Yosemite Sam 1 vote
Homer Simpson 3 votes
Rocky and Bullwinkle 4 votes
Beavis and Butt-head 2 votes
Charlie Brown and Snoopy 8 votes
Cartman of "South Park." 5 votes
Fred Flintstone 1 vote
Fat Albert 3 votes
Powerpuff Girls 1 vote
SpongeBob 8 votes
Pink Panther 0 votes

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

"Beam Me Up, Scotty,"

What a bummer. Scotty has been beamed up himself, for the last time. He was easily my favorite character on the original Star Trek series. Well, aside form all the babes Kirk got to 'play with'. But as an Engineer and a hard drinking, ass-kicking officer of Starfleet, there was none better.

Rest in peace Mr. James Doohan.

I Say The Dumbest Things Sometimes

Have you ever been talking with someone and something just pops out of your mouth that makes the whole conversation just stop? I do that a lot. It's kind of an epidemic with me, especially after too much caffeine. Here are a few examples of my latest faux pas's (how the heck does one make that plural?):

This past weekend Nicci was reminiscing with my Aunt & Uncle about how we've been doing as a couple. She was telling them that we had accomplished a lot since we got together. She mentioned a lot of stuff that she thought was positive and when she looked at me and said "We've gained a lot together, haven't we?" I said, "Yeah, I have a drawer full of underwear now." The room got very quiet.

What I meant was that when I was single, I didn't think about dumb stuff like underwear. I had just enough to get by and absolutely could not miss laundry day or I was screwed. I meant it as a positive thing. It sounded dumb.

Recently I went to play a round of golf with some friends and on the first tee I swung and dug a big hole right behind the ball. It never moved. I said, "Crap, I keep doing that." One of the guys started laughing hard and said, "It's the first hole!" What was in my mind was that I had been doing that a lot lately and it seemed to carry over into that round too. It sounded dumb.

In the hospital, a man who was sharing the room with my Uncle had been there for over a week was having serious trouble going to the can. He hadn't been able to go since he had arrived and it was making him much sicker. When they told me again that he still was having problems I said, "Do you think his underwear is too tight?" A silent room again. I have no explanation for where that one came from. He obviously wasn't wearing any underwear, but that thought popped into my head and out it came. (He got a good laugh out of it at least.) It sounded dumb.

Along the same lines, when I was told that the same guy had ended up in the hospital because he was using a ladder improperly and fell off of it, I said "Dumbass." Of course it turned out to be his wife telling me the story. I'll bet they really like me a lot. That was dumb.

Not too long ago I ran into an old girlfriend and she was telling me that her Mom had finally found out why she was always feeling sick. She had been diagnosed with Lyme Disease. My first thought and, of course the first thing out of my mouth, was "I wonder if it's green?" Nice.

The best part? She just looked thoughtful and then said, "I don't think so." She always was a true blond.

Yep, it’s always an adventure trying to keep all my thoughts from just popping out of my mouth before thinking first. I was telling Spacebrain recently that if I still had hair, I would definitely be a blond.

No doubt.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Hospital Talk

Funny thing about hanging out in a Hospital almost every day for a month, you see some stuff you probably don't really want to. For instance, why do all the restrooms in the hospital smell like someone has peed on the floor? Every one I've been in has been very stinky and the smell is of strong urine. It's gross!

I've even tried to find different ones to use, hoping that one wouldn't be so disgusting, but nothing has worked. They all stink. You would think that a Hospital would have clean restrooms. Makes you wonder about the other areas and how dirty they really are.

I've also noticed that most of the Doctors and Nurses Aides smoke. Funny how not too many Nurses are seen outside smoking. You would think that Doctors would know better than anyone else not to smoke, but there they are, puffing away.

The aides smoking doesn't surprise me much. They all act like they are just going through the motions anyway. "It's just a paycheck" kind of mentality. They aren't all that helpful either. The running joke with my Uncle is that they all say "I'll be right back" when they leave the room for something, but they never come back. Some say that and they just disappear until a few days later. Maybe their sense of "being right back" is a little different than ours? It's a good thing we are there to go and get someone to help him out every time they do that to him.

Plus, why doesn't the Security group enforce the "This is a no-smoking campus. No smoking is permitted anywhere on the hospital grounds at any time" signs. People stand right beside these signs and smoke away. Perhaps reading isn't fundamental after all?

The Nurses are awesome though. I haven't seen too many smoking nor are too many of them big and fat. Plus, they are the only staff members that are truly helpful. The aides and about half the Doctors tend to be kinda large sized. I find that strange too. Again, one would think they would know better. Not many Nurses are though. I think I'm sensing a pattern here. Hmm....

I don't recommend hanging out too long in the hospital, if you can avoid it of course. You see things that probably would make you wonder.

BTW, prayers and good vibes for mu Uncle will be very much appreciated the next couple of days. The Doctor has given up trying to heal him by 'passive means' and now he has to have a second operation. Either Wednesday afternoon or Thursday morning. He is very high risk, but the Doc said there is no other alternative at this point. Thanks.

Monday, July 18, 2005

A Haiku For Peachy

I noticed that one of the old ladies we know has a tattoo. She's Peachy's favorite person. So I wrote a little haiku about it. It goes something like this:

Willie has a tattoo
it’s a butterfly on her big leg
its not sexy

Ok, maybe not the best haiku type verse, but for Peachy, I gave it a try. ;)

Harry Who?

Can someone please enlighten me on just what is so special about Harry Potter? One of my co-workers just came in here visably upset because she had pre-ordered the latest book and it didn't come in yet. She said, "If I knew it would be late I could have just gone to WalMart and probably have read it all by now."

OK, now I've been a fan of some pop culture stuff, so I do understand being anxious for one of my fixes at times. I just haven't paid any attention to HP at all. I don't even know any characters or even what the whole premise is.

The one thing I gather is that the writing is pretty good. Funny, I'm a pretty avid reader, especially sci-fi and/or fantasy, but these books haven't caused the least bit of interest in me.

Who can give me the condensed version so I can decide if I want to check old Harry out?

Sunday, July 17, 2005


Have you ever admired someone a lot and then something happens that makes you think that maybe your admiration was misplaced?

All her talk and philosophical ramblings about relationships and marriage and this is the choice she makes? Hopefully there is more to this guy than meets the eye. I’d like to think so.

Diminished in my eyes. That’s how I see her.

Yeah, I know, big fat hairy deal. In the scheme of things my opinion means a little less than what we flush down the toilet every morning. But it is my blog and I can write whatever I want. So if you don’t like it, FO.

Good luck Sandy. I hope it was the right choice.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

What Are The Odds?

Here’s something I don’t think happens every day. On Thursday when I got home, the real estate person that we are looking to buy the new house from was here. She had some papers for us plus she wanted to see the place.

While we were talking, the woman who listed our current home came by with some papers and to put the ‘For Sale’ sign in the yard. We introduced the two and we hung out a while talking.

While we were talking, the woman who we are doing the new mortgage with came by to drop off that paperwork. She also happens to be the person who sold us our current home. She no longer works with that particular builder. She left to work with the Mortgage Company and she came by to see us even though she could have sent the paperwork via mail.

So there we were with the woman who sold us our house, the woman who was selling it and the woman who is selling us the new house. A true past, present and future moment.

I wonder what the odds of that happening are?

Pennies From Heaven

On my way to Starbuck’s this morning I stopped at the grocery store for something. When I pulled into the parking lot I noticed these 2 really old babes walking really, really slowly toward the store. I didn’t think anything about it. As I got out and headed to the front door, I heard one of them squealing very loudly. My first thought was “Oh no, one of them has fallen or is having a heart attack or something!” So I hurry around the Jeep to see what was wrong and I see one lady still squealing while she picks up something from the ground. She turns to her companion and happily declares, “It’s a whole quarter! And it was even on heads!”

Well, that just cracked me up! I had to turn away and start walking again so they didn’t see me laughing. Somehow, I found that adorable. I guess I’m not alone in the old superstition about finding coins heads up. I’ve been known to let quarters lie when I’ve found them tails up. No sense in tempting fate.

As I entered the store I looked back to see the lucky babe showing her friend the quarter. The second woman was looking at it like it was gold or something. These two obviously weren’t poor or anything, judging from their dress, but that lucky quarter sure was something special to them. I guess they aren’t the kind to take ‘pennies from heaven’ for granted.

Friday, July 15, 2005

BS Friday Story

I have to post the answer to my BS Friday story tonight. I may not be able to blog in the morning.

The story is a false one only in that it didn't happen to me. It actually is a true story though. It happened to someone I used to hang out with. When he told me how this had happened to him I just laughed in his face. He supposedly loved Jimmy Buffet's music.

C'mon, I would know Jimmy if I ran into him. There is no way I would miss that one. Also, I've never actually been to Key West. I do want to go at some point. It just hasn't happened yet.

The fillers are true too. I love Beefeater & Tonic with lime. I also can not resist live music and the chance to play, even though I'm not all that good at it.

Well, I hope everyone at least liked the story. These things are fun to write. Maybe this idea will catch on. Maybe not. I think I'll still have fun with it no matter.

Question Of The Day

Is there any real reason why I shouldn't be eating ice cream right now?

Welcome To BS Friday

Yep, it's BS Friday again. The object is to write something, anything, any length and see if anyone can figure out if it is truth or fiction. Here's my week 2 story:

My one trip to Key West was so much fun. I had such a kick ass time I can't possibly relay all the details here. The highlight for me was actually one very early morning. I was still in the party spirit but all my friends were still asleep. I decided I needed a morning snack and maybe a little 'hair of the dog' to chase the cobwebs away. Next thing I knew, after wandering around for a while, I found myself walking into Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville.

The place was pretty much empty. Just a few people. It was early. I went to the bar, ordered a breakfast sandwich and a morning Beefeater & Tonic, with a slice of lime, thank you very much. As I sat and sipped my G&T, I heard someone picking a guitar. Well, anyone picking a guitar around me is like a moth finding a flame in the total darkness, so I walked toward the back of the place to see who it was.

I was a little disappointed when I got back there at first because it was some old, scraggly looking guy with what looked to be a pretty well used acoustic. I should say ragged out acoustic guitar. He ignored me as I sat at a table next to him and kept on playing.

Soon I realized that looks really can be deceiving. That old guitar sounded great. Not only that, but the guy knew how to play. He just kept playing for some time, very clean and sweet. If I was a woman, I might have fallen in love. (Yeah, live music has that effect on me.)

Suddenly the guy stopped playing and looked right at me. He said "It's gettin cold there pal." I had no freakin idea what that meant and I just said "Huh?" He smiled and said "That sandwich is gettin cold. Better eat it up." Then he went back to playing. I looked at the table and my breakfast had been delivered along with a new G&T. Is that a classy place or what? I sat and scarfed quickly and when I was done I told the guy I was impressed. That he was really good with the guitar. He thanked me and we got into a discussion about music and styles and he even let me play that old guitar a little. He was really a cool guy.

Eventually, all good things must come to an end. I had to leave. I told him that I really appreciated his time and that I'd like to come back and buy him a brew later. He thanked me and said I should come back that night because after he was done playing there he would be travelling for a few weeks. I reached out to shake his hand and said, "Oh by the way, I'm Bob." He smiled and said , "Nice to meet you Bobby. I'm Jimmy."

I just stood there like a dope. How did I miss that one? I had been sitting there hanging with Jimmy Buffet, talking music and even playing his guitar! Suddenly I didn't know what to say. Apparently he had seen this reaction before so he smiled, patted me on the back and told me to come back that night with my friends, everything on him.

We did just that and had an unbelievable night. From then on I was an even bigger Jimmy Buffet fan.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Mini Quiz

Anyone know where I got the title of my last post? She was a character in an old movie. I liked it, but it was a really silly one. Those are my favorite. Others may not like it as much.

Just curious to see if anyone else noticed it.

Miss Charming Jones

Did you ever work with or around someone who was so utterly charming that every time you talked with them it made you all warm inside? I do and she just stopped by. Ahhhh.....

Anyone feel like cuddling?

Welcome Back!

This is the reward someone here gets when they come back from vacation. Yes, that really is a cube filled to the top with balloons. It took some work to get it properly filled, including under the desk and counters, all the nooks and crannies, but hey, this is the Engineering area. Piece of cake.

Ask Peachy how her desk fared when she was away. I don't think she told anyone. (We didn't have the camera available for that one.) Let's just say she got a little 'wrapped up' trying to use her desk when she got back.

I'm a little afraid to go on vacation now.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

You Model It, I Buy It

I just got back from lunch with one of my lady work friends. As we were heading back, she was looking at a store that appeared to be selling only fancy/sexy underwear for women. She was getting excited and talking about having to check it out.

Her reaction reminded me of a few years ago. There was a mall near work where we would sometimes go for lunch. The highlight of this mall for me was Victoria's Secret. What guy doesn't like that place? Just the idea of your woman (or any woman) trying on all that sexy stuff... sweet!

Well, I'm the type of person who makes dumb jokes just for the sake of making them. Most of you have probably figured that one out by now. So it should come as no surprise that I developed the habit of asking whichever woman happened to be with me at the time if they would model something sexy for me. I would tell them that if they modeled it for me, I would buy it for them. Every time we went by Victoria's Secret I would ask. Always, without fail, no one took me up on it.

My best friend Lisa had gotten to the point where she would just say "No" as we approached the store. I think I was beating it to death. But hey, I'm a guy. When the testosterone is flowing, you don't notice how annoying you are being.

Anyway, this routine went on for quite a long time. Then one day when I got a big surprise. One of my friends said yes. I asked the question and she stopped, looked in the window and said, “Ok, if you’re serious.” I didn’t know what to say. I had just assumed she would say no again, just like all the other times.

My hesitation lasted all of a few seconds and into the store we went. She took her time picking out her outfit and I savored every mental image of imagining her in the things she was looking through. (BTW, for the record, I was single at this time. Don’t get all indignant with me.)

Finally she chose a great outfit. It was an all white outfit with pink silk trim. It started with one of those things that look like a bra but all it did was sit under the boobs and push them up. Otherwise they were not covered. There was a matching g-string, garter belt and stockings. They were sweet to look at before anyone was wearing them.

She took everything into the dressing room and had me wait by the entrance. She took a long time dressing/undressing and I started to wonder if she was going to bail out but soon enough I heard her ask if the coast was clear. Once I said it was, she opened the door and struck a few poses in the sexy outfit. She really looked great! It was even better than I had imagined.

After a few minutes, she went back in and got dressed. We took the stuff to the counter and I paid. I remember it being about $150.00, but I also remember that I didn’t care about the cost.

The next day she came in and told me that her boyfriend really, really liked the outfit. I just smiled because my first thought was “I’m glad, but I saw it first.”

I haven’t asked anyone to make that exchange with me since. That fantasy has been fulfilled. Today was the first time I’ve thought of it in a long time.

Ahh... the memories...

It's One Of Those Days...

It's one of those days when you wish you were in Tennessee with a cold case, a wad of cash and nothing to do but party it up all day. Yep, it's Summer's birthday! Everyone go visit Summer and wish her a Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Summer! I hope you have an awesome day! xoxoxo

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I'm Afflicted

Yep, I really am. Right now I am suffering from Grace's syndrome. Also, Meritt syndrome. If you don't know what I mean, visit Grace and Meritt and you'll see. What I mean is that Grace is way too busy with work and has a tough time keeping up with blogging. I'm right there with you lately Grace! Meritt has probably the busiest home life I've heard of. These days mine is rivaling hers. I empathize Meritt.

Here's my schedule for the last 3 weeks: up @ 4:30 a.m. Do the morning thing, get to work, work, leave and pick up Nicci, head to the hospital, hang out spreading happiness and cheer, leave the hospital, forage for food, get home around 9:00 p.m., attempt to unwind and take care of whatever home stuff is needed. Catch up with the Baseball world. Try to go to bed before midnight. On top of all that, we are now working on buying a new house and selling ours. That in itself can be exasperating. We must be nuts!

I just wanted everyone to know I'm not ignoring you. I am not suffering blogger burn-out. I am not slacking on purpose. I have been trying to keep up with everyone. I have been visiting as often as possible, so don't think I'm not. Maybe I haven't been commenting as much, but I do try.

This schedule will get better soon. My Uncle is getting better every day. The moving thing won't take forever and then I will be back to a total blogging fool. Patience my friends, that's what this post is all about. Don't forget about me while all this crap is going on. I'd appreciate it.

I just hope this hectic schedule is done well before the post season begins. Late nights with the Yankees will cause even more sleep deprivation and I may not survive it. Sheesh.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Just Call Me 'Buggy Tooth'

I think it's cool that a lot of bikers invent their own nicknames. If I ever get a motorcycle, I think I want my biker nickname to be 'Buggy Tooth'. That would be totally appropriate. I'd wear one of those cool little helmets that look like a German Infantry guys helmet from WWII and little round goggles. That way, when I was cruising and grinning at everyone I passed, all the bugs would end up sticking in my teeth.

My biker nickname would be cute and truthful. Cute always attracts the chicks. The only problem would be that no biker chicks would want to smootch me. Well, sometimes that wouldn't be any problem. But a tough buker guy wouldn't smile too much anyway. It would ruin the tough guy aura. So I'd only smile at the gross biker chicks. I'd have to go and brush for the cute ones.

Yeah, someday I may have to get a bike. Then Peachy and I could cruise the highways and wreak havoc on the world together. Sounds like fun to me. *grin (sans bugs)*

Sunday, July 10, 2005


Whew, to be sure.

That's how my weekend has been. A total whirlwind. It feels like the weekend began, I blinked and now it's over. Whew!

We started house hunting early last weekend. We found the place we wanted then but didn't know it. After looking at about 2,846 houses since, we came back to the first one we liked and decided it was the one. Now begins the the fun stuff.

Has anyone else recently placed a bid on a home? Lars did recently I'm sure. Well I am curious to know if other states are as bad as this one. We had about 30-35 papers to sign JUST TO OFFER A BID! How rediculous is that? The whole bid process took over 2 hours. It was maddening.

If that isn't proof that lawyers and greedy jerks sueing everyone on a whim is ruining the world, I don't know what is.

That was yesterday. Today our real estate person came over to do the paperwork for listing our home for sale and we had to sign almost as many things just to offer it for sale. Sheesh! I can't wait for the closings. (Sarcasm intended.) I remember closing being annoying, but I think this time will be worse.

The good thing is that our real estate rep. believes our house is awesome and thinks that by next weekend we will have a mini-bidding war going on. It probably won't be on the market for too long is what we were told. Let's hope so.

Boy, it's a good thing we just spent all that dough on the front doors and remodeling the bathroom. (Uh huh, that was indeed sarcasm again, just in case you missed it.)

On the plus side, my Uncle is steadily improving. It doesn't seem unreasonable to believe he could be out of the hospital in 7-10 days. That would be such a relief, mostly for him, but also for those of us making daily visitation trips. It's a hard schedule to maintain. He's so excited that we will be back home again. We will be only 5 minutes from his house once we move.

So that's my weekeend in a nutshell. Hectic to be sure. But pretty OK. I haven't had time to catch up with the blog world, but tomorrow I should be able to. I think I'm having blog withdraw.

Just watch, sometime soon there will be shrinks and medications for people who are addicted to blogging. I can see that happening. Then the self help groups will start up; "Hello, my name is Yankeebob and I'm a blogoholic."

Yeah right. Thanks for sharing.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Quick Morning Notes

OK, I want to quickly post about 2 things before I go on this mornings adventure.

First and foremost, a big shout out to LAH for the awesome surprise I got in the mail last night. That made my night and I’m still all happy about it today. Thanks Lena. You are the coolest!

Second, my post for BS Friday was……. 100% true. Yep, that night was different and quite the adventure. Beergirl, I don’t know why the cop just didn’t make do the Breathalyzer thing. I would have been in big trouble if he had. Maybe because he had doubts since I said I was designated driver?

All those who had faith in me, thanks a bunch. ;)

Now I’m off to see a new house, look for others and hang around the hospital for a while. Everyone have a great weekend. I’ll be keeping my eye on you. (A little later today, of course, but you get what I’m saying.)

Friday, July 08, 2005

I Said What?

I got this cool quiz from Grace. I don't get the percentages either Grace. How did I score 275%? I know I can talk a lot sometimes, but sheesh!

Your Slanguage Profile

Aussie Slang: 75%
Canadian Slang: 50%
Prison Slang: 50%
British Slang: 25%
New England Slang: 25%
Southern Slang: 25%
Victorian Slang: 25%

Welcome To BS Friday

In order to attempt to get myself back into the blogging mode I’ve decided that today should be BS Friday. BS is fun so why shouldn’t we go for it?

The object here is to write a short (or long if you choose) story that may or may not be total BS. Then see if anyone else can figure out if it is total BS or just an extraordinary moment in an otherwise dull existence. Here’s my first attempt:

One night I was on my way home from seeing some friends play a gig in a fairly distant city. The drive home was a little over an hour away. I was the designated driver that night, but being true to form for our group, the DD tag ended up meaning ‘Designated Drinker’.

Well, naturally I’m driving home buzzed with a carload when I see ahead an intersection with flashing red lights. It was early morning and the lights were just flashing red instead of the whole red, yellow & green thing happening. For some reason, it didn’t register to me that red, although flashing, still meant stop. So right through the intersection I went without stopping. Great timing too because on the other side of the road waiting to turn left was a Cop. Nice. He immediately turned his lights on an u-turned in behind us.

Well no one in the car panicked. Mostly because they were all even more buzzed than I was. When the cop came up and started talking to me, he mentioned the ‘heavy smell of alcohol coming from the car’. No surprise. It didn’t help matters that when he mentioned that everyone else started telling him how he should be smelling it since they were all drunk. Nice. He then looked at me and asked if I was drunk too. Naturally I told him of my exalted Designated Driver status. Guess what? He didn’t buy it. ???

He starts telling me about his concerns and how he’s going to give me these sobriety tests. The first one was simple; starting with your pinky, touch it with your thumb, count 1 then move to the next finger, count 2, the next finger, count 3 and the next count 4. Then reverse, using the original numbers a la 1,2,3,4,3,2,1,2,3,4,3,2,1 and stop when he says stop. Piece of cake. What he didn’t know was that was exactly how I taught myself to finger pick my guitar so his evil plan didn’t succeed. I passed that one easily.

Next he said he wanted me to recite the alphabet starting with the letter E and stopping at P and I was to start NOW! No time to think about it. The thing was when he mentioned ‘reciting the alphabet’ and then said ‘E’ I had already started in my mind, so I easily passed that test too. Round 2 to the drunk!

Now he seemed irritable, so he made me get out of the car. He had me stand on one foot, hands straight down at my sides, the other foot sticking straight out raised about 1 foot and made me count to 30 using the old 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi etc… Well, I have no explanation for how or why, but I easily did that test too. I made it to 30 and could have gone longer. I didn’t stumble or miss a number once. I started to think I was a superhero or something.

Now he was definitely annoyed at me. He waited in silence for some time and finally said “I guess anyone who can do all that is OK to drive.” He told me he was sure I was drunk driving and that he was going to follow me all the way home and that I had better not screw up once. I got back in the car, started driving away and saw that he must have gotten another call because we didn’t get one block before his lights were on and he was headed the other way.

I hope he had better luck with the next guy. I did pity whoever he stopped next. I think they were doomed to fail no matter what after I frustrated the guy so badly.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Hospitals Are Strange Places

I have been spending a lot of time at the hospital lately. Daily visits for 2 weeks. I have decided that they run just as strange as most everywhere else. This has not been a happy discovery for me.

My Uncle has been in a hospital over 2 weeks now. He is slowly getting better and we hope will only be there another week or so. The thing is, I’m starting to wonder if he could have already been well enough to leave.

These days being a Doctor doesn’t always mean what it once did. The modern Doctor a lot of times is a specialist of some kind. During this past few weeks I’ve met a lung specialist, a heart specialist, a kidney specialist, a digestive specialist, and the strangest one (person) was the dietician. There was a different kind of bird. With all these specialists you would think my Uncle was in the best of care. The problem is that all these guys are great at what they do, but they are terrible at communicating between themselves.

For example, one Doctor had my Uncle on some kind of IV for adding sugar to his system. It made his blood sugar way too high, so another Doctor was having the nurses give him Insulin to bring it down. The heart Doctor had him on some kind of medicine designed to ‘protect his heart’, whatever that was supposed to mean. The result was that his blood pressure was dangerously low, to the point where the nurses were panicking. Another Doctor read the blood pressure reports and immediately stopped that medicine.

Yesterday they added some kind of IV for raising his sodium levels. Another Doctor had been pumping his system full of liquids which had been lowering his sodium levels. He is now on restricted liquid intake to better control the sodium levels.

I just don’t think these Doctors ever compare notes. They just do whatever they think is OK and even if they cross medicate the patient. It would seem to me they would want to know the total picture.

The Nurses are the only ones who seem to know what will happen when a new directive comes down from one of the specialists. They have the direct experience with the patients and see the results of all this non-communication. Usually they will say things like “I tried to tell Doc So & So that this wasn’t something that sounded right to me, but….” Of course, a Doctor will rarely listen to a nurse’s opinion. They don’t even want to hear other Doctors opinions.

Yep, I wonder if my Uncle would have been out by now without all the cross medicating he’s been getting. Yesterday he was much better than he’s been since he got there. This is a result of having no medication for 2 days and only the intravenous food thing and the IV for sodium going. His blood pressure is now normal and he has an appetite and a lot of energy. These things are all new since stopping the medications. (They were only stopped because his blood pressure got to ‘should be dead’ levels and they couldn’t fix it.)

Maybe ‘Communication With Other Doctors 101’ should be a required class in Doctor School? I think so.

New Poll

I finally posted a new Poll. (Right sidebar.) Yes, I know I'm a slow-poke. My blogging has been off a lot lately for many reasons, mostly my Uncle's health. But things are looking up and maybe soon my schedule will be back to semi-normal.

Anyway, the new Poll is a subject near and dear to my heart. There is no way I can possibly know every Cartoon Character, so feel free to write into the comments section(s) any that you want to vote for.

The old Poll was interesting. We sure don't like slow-ass drivers or idiots in charge. I was bummed to see someone vote for voting in Polls. There's a bit of irony, eh?

Finish this sentence: It drives me nuts.....

when I'm stuck beside a noisy eater. 8 votes
when a slow-ass driver hogs the passing lane. 18 votes
to have to work for a living. 13 votes
to hear anything about Britney Spears. 11 votes
when it hurts to pee. 9 votes
when someone farts in the elevator. (and its not me) 6 votes
when the coffee is all gone. 4 votes
when bloggers are slow to post new stuff. 13 votes
when people hate stuff they know nothing about. 14 votes
to miss my favorite show. 7 votes
to know the person in charge is an idiot. 18 votes
to feel useless. 11 votes
to miss good sales. 0 votes
to wonder when the aliens are coming. 3 votes
when someone I love is with a dork. 8 votes
to vote in Polls like this one 1 vote

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Just Because These Are Fun...

...and because I'm totally uninspired today...

Veronica posted this and tagged whoever wanted to do it. Thanks for the idea Vero!

10 years ago... I was in a huge funk. I had just blown my trip to Ireland thanks to too much partying and getting into serious trouble as a result. Whew! Am I ever glad that is in the distant past!

5 years ago... I was busy planning my weekend getaway to New York with my best bud Lisa. We ended up going in September. It was awesome!

1 year ago... I really don't remember anything of significance. Isn't that sad? I think I just got a little bummed.

Yesterday... I had an extra day off for the holiday and I spent a lot of it in the hospital with my Uncle. I didn't mind a bit. He appreciated it.

Today... is my first day back at work from vacation. I am very sad… and irritated. Work sucks! (I borrowed that beginning from Veronica. Me too Veronica!) I am having a hard time getting back into the work week routine. Stupid Lottery! I just never win! I think it's broken or something.

Tomorrow... I am looking forward to talking with the realtor lady who will be listing our house. I'm pretty psyched about moving back 'home'. The only exception will be the longer commute until I find a job closer.

5 snacks I enjoy... Hostess Ho Ho's (preferably frozen), Microwave Popcorn, chocolate chip cookies (they call to me), Rita's Frozen Ice, sweet pickles.

5 songs I know all the words to... Geez... how do I start? Try these on for size, "Goin Down" by the Monkees, "With Or Without You" by U2, "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd, "The River" by Bruce Springsteen, "Ice Cream Man" by Van Halen

5 reality television shows I watch... sometimes American Idol. Long ago I watched Fear Factor. Was Newlyweds a reality thing? Yeah, I guess so. Uhmm, Baseball is reality. I watch that all the time. Otherwise, that’s about it.

5 television shows I watch daily... Seinfeld. Yes, I still watch the reruns. Love that show. Baseball Tonight. That's pretty much it. Buffy isn't on anymore, so I'm a Seinfeld/Baseball kinda guy..

5 things I would do with $100,000,000... get the best season ticket seats at Yankee Stadium, travel, make sure my family was taken care of, waste a bunch in Vegas, make my friends rich too.

5 locations I would love to run away to... (I'm assuming these aren't permanent?) New York, Ireland, Greece, Hollywood, Hedonism ;)

5 things I like doing... reading, blogging, traveling, eating & wondering why I exist.

5 things I would never wear... those goofy pants with big pockets on the legs, also those pants that are huge and so baggy you have to hold them up, anything to do with the red sux, a tutu (maybe, depending on the situation), speedos on the beach

5 recently seen movies I like... Blade 3 (it was just OK), Independence Day, Miss Congeniality 2, The Incredibles, Spiderman (yes, I'm a bit behind)

5 famous people I'd like to meet... (dead or alive?) Alive: Sandy!!!, Ellen DeGeneres, Chloe, Cindy Lou (she's blogger famous), Eric Clapton Dead: Marilyn Monroe, Patton, Leonardo DiVinci, Claude Monet, Dean Martin

5 biggest joys of the moment... My family, Cherry Pepsi, the short work week, the Yankees win streak, the fact that the day is flying by. (what a sorry list that is)

5 people to tag...I don’t know. Whoever would like to do it is more than welcome.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Let's Talk Healthy Breakfasts

I had a Dunkin Donuts Boston Creme Donut for breakfast. You know, the kind with chocolate on top and yummy vanilla pudding type stuff inside. Mmmmm!

I washed it down with a Cherry Pepsi. Another mmmmm!

Can you tell I'm not at work? It's a paid holiday for us and I'm taking full advantage.

That is a breakfast, lemme tell ya!

So, who else is having health food for breakfast?

Driving Is Our Friend?

I’ve come to the conclusion that people who regularly commute to work on busy highways are prone to meanness. They have to be.

All the traveling I’ve been doing these past few weeks has gotten me totally out of sync. The traffic has been about the same volume. Nothing really super bad. But my demeanor has been different. The annoying stress of driving on the beltway and the crowded highway has definitely affected me. I have found myself easier to irritate, less tolerant of co-workers and people in general and all around restless. I have been talking to the stupid drivers and laughing at the others. It’s been weird.

The highways are strange too. Strange in the way that they were designed to keep traffic flowing but we all know that at certain parts of the day, traffic hardly moves. Turns out that it’s not only just certain parts of the day either. I can be certain days too. Holidays for example. I think it’s because people don’t use on and off ramps properly. If they would get up to a good speed and slowly merge with moving traffic, things wouldn’t slow down. Also, people already traveling just don’t let others in. They act like allowing another car in front of them will keep them from getting to their destination indefinitely or something. Very rude.

Then there are the panicky drivers that see a little sun and slam on the brakes. The lead car can certainly recover quickly, but that first slam causes all the cars behind to decelerate and after it gets back a few cars, the slow down is permanent.

Then you have the dorks that see something along side the road and just have to slow down to check it out. It may just be a truck picking up trash or something but to certain drivers, it is an event not to be missed. Of course, this makes for a major backup behind the peeper. Stupid.

This whole experience is magnified in bigger cities and their surrounding. I can see how some people start shooting at others. Not that I think they are justified. I just understand how they get wound tight enough to act really, really stupid.

Lately we have been visiting the hospital daily to see my Uncle. The traffic has been exceptionally crappy this weekend since it’s a holiday. Total standstill on a major highway. But once you pass the mess, there is no apparent reason for the slow down. It’s perplexing.

Nope, I’m glad I don’t always drive the whole way to work alone all the time. There is an advantage to car-pooling I guess. I do love driving, but if I had to do it for a living, I would probably be a total butthead.

Sunday, July 03, 2005

It's A Beautiful Mornin'

It really is beautiful here right now. I hope it is elsewhere too. The sun is shining, the humidity and temperature is down and the Starbuck's was perfect.

I already uprooted a tree and planted a new one this morning. Not something I normally like doing, but today, I'm a nice guy. Spacebrain came by for the tree we were replacing and he, Nicci and I sat out on the lower deck for morning coffee together. It was nice.

I think sometimes, although very rarely, I don't mind a little domesticity. Usually it grates on me big time. This morning, it's not too bad.

So soon I will begin the adventure of looking for a new house. We finally decided that we should move back to my tiny little hometown. I want to be closer to my family. They are getting really old on me. It will mean a longer work commute, but it will also mean some added incentive to get a better job, closer to home. I've been lazy long enough. Time to change.

I'm really excited to start house shopping. It really doesn't bug me too much to go through the process. Nicci, on the other hand, gets pretty stressed out. We really are opposites in most things.

Today I will also be decorating my Uncle's hospital room for the 4th. He's still there and it's a bit more of a bummer for him. The 4th of July is the one time every year that all our family gathers at his house for a picnic. Obviously not this year. So we'll bring the party to him as best we can.

I hope you all have had a great start to the day too. I'll be checking in on all of you. Watch out, I'm keeping my eye on you.....

Friday, July 01, 2005


Cat (Beyond Elsewhere) and Shawn (The Head) are going to be/were married today. (Depending on when you are reading this, of course.) I just wanted to take a moment and wish them a long and happy life together. God Bless you both. :)

BTW, Cat & Shawn, keep this in mind right after the ceremony.....

(Good thing Cindy Lou is there to keep them straight, at least for a while)

I'm So Square

As I was walking down the hallway this morning another guy was walking toward me from the opposite end. I noticed he was struting a bit when he walked. The kind of walk/strut with the head tilted slightly. When he got close to me, he looked up, saluted me with 2 fingers and said "Wassup!?!" At the same time I was greeting him with my usual smiling "Good morning."

After he went by I realized the huge, glaring difference between the two of us; he is cool and I'm now a square.

I am now a part of the un-cool, 'good morning' crowd. I remember being one of the cool, 'wassup' crowd. How did this happen? I didn't even notice it, but I am on my way to fuddy-duddiness.

Sheesh! I need to find a cure for this one quick.

Funny Stuff For Your Viewing Pleasure

I think I'll pass, thanks.

Now that's a skid-mark!

Beer works wonders! It's a miracle drug for sure.

Good argument for not washing your car.

My kind of kitty!

All pics are compliments of Funny Junk.

Peachy Is A Rock Collector

That's right, Peachy is a rock collector. She has this pair of shoes that collect rocks when she walks. They have spaces in the back that pick up rocks and store them for her. Then later she can dig them out and see what she has collected that day.

I think she invented the shoes. Maybe she can market them. It sure saves time. You don't have to sort through the parking lot to find something interesting to keep. All you do is check out the stash your shoes have collected at the end of the day and keep what you want. I think there are a lot that she has to throw back, but there has to be some that are keepers.

I wouldn't mind having a useful tool like those shoes. They would make rock collecting much easier and less tedious. I might even have to consider taking up the hobby if she can hook me up with shoes like that.