Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Question Of The Day

If you work at a stupid place and you work with stupid people but you don't feel stupid, are you just fooling yourself?

Not All Life Is Sacred

There has been a lot of debate lately in the local news about the death penalty. The reason is that there is another murderer scheduled to die next week in MD but his lawyers are throwing out all the possible stalls and appeals they can, trying to drum up some sympathy for him. Trying to get the Governor to commute his sentence. Sickening.

The jerk murdered a Grandmother for $5.00 in broad daylight right in front of her grandchildren. $5.00 for some drugs. He had a drug problem and somehow that makes it OK? Makes it more tolerable? I don't think so. He's scum. He deserves to get what he earned. And he did earn the death penalty.

Apparently there is an even worse scumbag out in California that a lot of soft-headed bleeding hearts want to actually set free. Some guy named Stan Tookie Williams who has had one of those miraculous death row conversions and is now a fine, upstanding citizen. Everyone seems to forget that he left a wake of death and misery behind him. (He was convicted of 4 killings.) Not to mention the fact that he was the co-founder of the infamous 'Crips' gang who have most certainly helped a lot more people into their graves over the years.

Now some people want to set him free. Give him a second chance. Why? What about the victims? How do they get a second chance at life? They don't. They are dead. Their families have been severely affected. Just because someone has 'found religion' and seemingly reformed themselves in the limited confines of prison, doesn't mean they should not pay for their crimes. No matter who they claim they are, they still did some pretty hateful things.

I don't know who decided that all life is sacred but they are wrong. I don't believe that a living, breathing rapist, murderer or child molestor has any right to life. They had no problem with destroying someone else's life and the lives of their victims loved ones. For me, anyone who does those things has voluntarily given up their rights as a human and joined the ranks of the animals.

The death penalty isn't murder as some may claim. You don't murder animals, you kill them.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Rod Stewart and Fiancée Have Baby Boy

Rod is 60. That kid will be lucky to be 10 by the time he croaks. He's lived hard. How stupid and selfish an idea for the old guy to still be breeding.

Remember what Eddie Murphy used to joke about when it comes to singers and sex? "Just sing and the women will love you! You don't even have to be good looking." That's what he used to say. Rod and his new girl are proof of that.

It's The Law

I heard a news story this morning where a woman was driving along and apparently lost control of her car. She ran off the road and into an embankment. No one was hurt, including herself. No one was even nearby so there was no danger of hurting someone. But she still was arrested or ticketed (whichever) for “Failure to control speed to avoid a collision”.

This sounds fishy to me. How come someone can be fined for something like that when no one and nothing was hurt? How did the cop know that she was not controlling her speed well enough to avoid a collision?

Seems like there is a new law popping up every day. One that is carefully worded to make sure that you pay a fine no matter what.

What’s next? How about “Failure to slow down at an acceptable rate when approaching a stop light”? Maybe one like “Improper placement of a gas cap while filling the tank”. How about “Failure to have the clairvoyance to know that in 10 minutes someone will hit you and you didn’t avoid it”?

Don’t laugh. It could happen. Because Big Brother is watching and he wants all your money.

Life Studies With Professor Eggbert

Yesterday I was thinking that the world would be a better place if people didn’t really know how to insult each other. Have you noticed that personal insults come at you or from you for almost any reason? I have. You yell insults at people while driving. (You don’t even know them.) You tell someone they are stupid if they say something you don’t agree with. You get a slanderous remark if you do almost anything contrary to what someone else thinks you should do. But what if we didn’t know how to properly insult someone? This made me wonder.....

So naturally I had to do an experiment. And naturally, Nicci was my lab rat, so to speak.

While Nicci was cooking up some stuff last night I decided to try and get on her nerves. On purpose. For the scientific approach to this question in my mind. I am good at that, so I didn’t feel I had any worries there. She was just talking about her day and I was constantly making stupid comments when finally it happened; she looked at me and said, “What is your problem? You are an ass tonight.” That was my cue to begin the experiment so I immediately replied, “Yeah, well..... your dress is blue!”

The stunned look on her face was precious! All she could say was “Huh?”

This is how the conversation went:

N: “What is that supposed to mean?”
B: “That’s what you get for calling me an ass.”
N: “But it makes no sense. It’s a stupid thing to say.”
B: “Oh, so now I’m stupid. OK, well..... you aren’t wearing any shoes!”
N: “Oh boy. I can see you are in one of those goofy moods tonight, aren’t you?”
B: “Oh, so now I’m goofy. OK, well..... I saw you driving your car tonight!”
N: “Yeah I do that every day. What, are you blind?”
B: “So now I’m blind eh? Well..... you have brown hair! So there!”

That’s when Nicci started laughing. She didn’t stop for a while either. Then I explained to her my thoughts and let her know that I was using her for my experiment. She even laughed more at that. But in the end, I proved my point. If people didn’t know how to hurl real insults, all conversations would end up in laughter.

Try it today and see how things go. I’ll bet you make some new friends or just get closer to some old ones. Maybe we can make the world a nicer place to live. ;)

Monday, November 28, 2005

Movie Review Time

I don't do a lot of these movie review things but I feel like I want to make an exception. This past (long) weekend, I saw 2 different movies that I had heard others talk about and I was surprised at my personal reaction to them. It was opposite of what I was told.

I first saw Catwoman starring Halle Berry. Right off the bat I will say that it would be hard for me to not like this one. I expected to like it a lot because I love women superheroes and I also love Halle Berry. She is not only talented but I think she is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. How could you go wrong with her in the cat suit?

I was told I wouldn't like it. That it was really bad. The truth is, I liked it a lot. Not just for the aforementioned reasons. I just liked it. The story and the way it was done. It was fun to see. I loved the way HB carried off the cat style. It was great.

The second movie I saw was Sin City. I was told that I would love this one. All I can say is that I think I liked it. I'm still trying to decide how I feel about it. It had great actors/actresses and a pretty interesting style to it. But it was one that I will have to see again to decide if I liked it or not. It was not what I expected. I will say that I was disappointed in the ending. Very disappointed. I can think of several ways it could have been better. But hey, I'm no Producer, right? What do I know.

I think Sin City was a 'cool' movie. One that isn't about to make a statement about anything. It's just 'cool'. I like that about it. (I can't stand movies that preach anyway.) I'm just having a hard time deciding if 'like' is how I feel about it. See it once and tell me your reaction.

So basically, I saw two movies that turned out to be the opposite of what I was told to expect. Funny how that happens.

Welcome Back (Kotter?)

Here I am, back at the old homestead. It feels kinda.... umm.... normal? I am a little bummed that the new job didn't work out like I had hoped. Chalk it up to a learning experience, I guess.

I got the royal treatment upon my return. Yep, the red carpet was rolled out... OK, maybe the red mat... OK, it's just the same old dirty door mat, but it is rolled out.

And the marching band was here along with balloons and flowers.... well, maybe that was just someone marching down the street with a boom box. But I did see a balloon today. OK, I plan to see a balloon today sometime. I can celebrate my return somehow. We'll see what the day brings.

Ah well, at least the coffee is fresh.

I did get a nice warm hug from Peachy when she got here. That made the whole 3 week ordeal worth it. Actually, it wasn't much of an ordeal. It was just a long-ish strange trip and now I'm back. Who knows? Maybe next month I can do it all again. That could be fun.

Or not.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Time To Catch Up

I’ve been having some trouble getting blog time lately. Now that my schedule will be more manageable, I should get back to a better routine. First, let’s catch up.

The new job that I went to 3 weeks ago didn’t work out. What I interviewed for was to Manage 2 separate areas of their manufacturing system. I had no problem doing that. Management is something I have plenty of experience with. The thing was, once I got to the job, I found out that the workload had tripled and there were no more personnel spots approved until August-September. This meant that I would be stuck working in the one area, which was basically a warehouse inside the manufacturing suites. It easily would have been a full time job keeping that entire area straight. Not what I had signed on for. The shame of it is that I really wanted to do the job I interviewed for. I know things can change sometimes, but this time it was way too ridiculous a change. I would have been trapped for a long time.

The good thing is that the old job never stopped wanting me to come back, so that’s what I am doing. Starting on Monday, I’ll be back at the old place.

Yesterday I went to my Aunt & Uncle’s place for Thanksgiving dinner. It was great! No cooking can beat the old style home made turkey dinner. It was a good day.

Today Nicci and I made our own private turkey dinner. The fire was in the fireplace, the turkey was cooking and we were decorating the Christmas tree. You sure can’t get more traditional than that.

Now I’m stuffed (again) and ready to kick back for a while. So, what have I missed?

I heard via Meritt’s blog that Nick & Jessica really did split up. Now there’s some news to be focused on.

I saw that Pat Morita died too. I guess Daniel-san is really on his own now.

Oh! I almost forgot. Here is my personal list of things I’m thankful for this Thanksgiving:

The Yankees
Cherry (& Lime) Pepsi
My Uncle’s health
My blog friends
My job (glad I still have one)
Sponge Bob Candy Canes
Long Weekends
My family (most of them anyway)
Old Chevys
Lots more stuff that I can’t think of right now.

I think that catches us up well enough. Stay tuned for more action in the not too distant future. ;)

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Happy Thanksgiving


I am thankful for all my blog friends and I wish you all a great Thanksgiving. Pig out & enjoy what you've been given.

I look forward to hearing what everyone is thankful for. I'll post my list later. Right now, Starbuck's is a must.

Boy, am I ever thankful for Starbuck's. :)

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Fly By Post

No time today for a real post. This day could be interesting. I think I'll be on a more 'regular' schedule starting tomorrow. I believe I'll be booted out today. We'll see.

At least it won't be dull. ;)

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Weird Dream

Here is the weird dream I had last night. I don’t have a clue what it is all about.

Last night I had this weird dream. I was cruising down a highway with G and we were looking for a restaurant. I remember that it was one that was highly recommended to us. We were on a highway but at times it would almost spiral in circles on the way.

We came to a town where all the roads were grass. They looked like roads but they were grass and no wear marks were on them even though there was a lot of traffic. We came to the square of the town and it was just this big circle or a different colored grass. Everyone was going around the darker circle like it was a raised c0oncrete slab or something. We just went straight across it to the other side.

We proceeded into a super narrow alleyway and when we came out on the other side, we were suddenly at the restaurant. It was an outdoor restaurant and the ‘bar’ where we sat was just old ply board across a couple of barrels. We sat down and this dude came up and slammed down the menus and asked what we wanted. As soon as we started to talk, he would interrupt and ask us again what we wanted. Time and time again we tried to tell him we were there for breakfast and wanted to see the menu, but he always interrupted us.

Then he got really mad and proceeded to throw us out. He kept saying that since we didn’t order we had to leave. He physically grabbed us by our shirts and threw us into the narrow alleyway that we had driven through. The funny thing was, when we hit the ground we couldn’t stop rolling. We rolled all the way back through the town.

Now we started walking back to get the car. We got part way back when we ran into this girl we knew. She was roller skating and suggested that she help us on our way. She grabbed one of my hands and one of G’s hands and started skating. Suddenly our feet acted like they had wheels on them too and we were whizzing along, dragged behind her.

This time when we got through the alleyway, we were somehow on the opposite side of the restaurant. There was this big field we had to cross but our friend stopped us. She made us wait, looking at this weird watch that was her shirt. It wasn’t attached to her shirt. Her shirt was a watch.

Suddenly she looked up and said “Watch.” We watched as a big dog ran out onto the field and when he had gotten part way across this giant Eagle type bird swooped down and grabbed him with it’s big claws and beak and flew off. Then we were able to cross the field safely.

This time when we got to the restaurant, the mean guy had our breakfast ready. We didn’t even have to order. He just knew what we wanted. We scarfed down our food while every 10 minutes or so someone would let another dog run loose across that field and a big Eagle would swoop down and grab it. We walked back to the side of the building where the dogs were coming from and I remember feeling sick to my stomach. There was a field of little dog coops stretching to the horizon and they all had dogs in them, waiting to make the mad dash across that field. As far as the eye could see, there were dogs in little pens, waiting.

Then our friend finished her breakfast of walnuts, grape jelly straight out of the jar and a bucket of tea brewed from old cigarettes. Then she looked at her watch, posed like an Olympic speed skater ready for a start and took off as a dog raced across the field. When the Eagle caught the dog, she was right beside the Eagle and jumped up on it’s back and disappeared into the blue sky.

G looked at me and shrugged. We got into the car and drove back through the town. Backwards the whole way.

So there it is. I usually don’t remember my dreams. Anyone who knows anything about dreams might have a field day with this one, no pun intended. ;

I'll Be Back!

Yes it's true. I'll be back (spoken in my best Arnold voice). As Peachy posted yesterday, the new job has evolved to being something very much different than what it was when I was first interviewed. I understand that that can happen and I accept it with no problem. This one, however, I can not accept.

I am a little bummed about it because I thought it was a great opportunity. It still is a good one, if I decide to stray from the career path I have been on. The thing is, I don't want to stray. I like what I've been doing and the old place wants me to come back and continue on that path. They also want to expand my responsibilities so it will be even more interesting. Sounds good.

The best part is that I get to be with Peachy and Spacebrain again. Oh, and as an added bonus, I get back on a better blog schedule. Not that that is a priority or anything. ;)

So soon I will be changing jobs again. My new boss isn't excited about it but he does understand. He even admitted that things have changed quite a bit overall and he says he doesn't blame me. He knows that I have a definite path that I'd prefer to stay on. He did mention that he was hoping I'd decide to change my direction. Nope. He's not the grudge-holding type, so I'm not worried about that. I think the 'big boss' may be though. Ah, whatever.

Ok, nuff said. I had the weirdest dream last night and I even remember most of it. I'll try to get it posted sopmetime today. We'll see how that goes.

Until then, see ya!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Hello Monday

Hello again to another Monday. Woopie. I gues the good thing is that this will be a short week. God old Thanksgiving is coming. I'm like the Dad in A Christmas Story, a turkey junkie. Yum! I love the turkey and the stuffing from inside the bird. Add a little corn and I'm good to go. Other things are just nice extras. I'm excited, can't you tell?

I'm starting to believe that all companied have the same basic problems. I left a job I liked a lot thinking I was heading to something better. The thing is, some things are better and some are crappy. It looks like it's just gonna be a push.

The new job has 'evolved' since I accepted it. Evolved is their word for 'grown beyond any resemblence to the original idea'. I still like the place well enough but what they 'need' me to do isn't exactly what I signed on for. That kind of thing sorta pisses me off. Basically I was supposed to be a Manufacturing Manager. What it's headed to is a glorified manager of a GMP warehouse. I'm not too psyched about being a warehouse guy. No offense to those who are. I'm just not made for it.

I hope things change back. I may have to make another change here soon. Seems like there is always somnething like that with big companies. The old 'bait-n-switch', sort of.

Oh well. I'll just stay focused on Thanksgiving. That's a happy thought. Plus, I am thankful for lots of reasons, so I won't let it get me down.

Does everyone have their thankful lists ready for Thursday?

Everyone have a great Monday.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

BS Friday (Saturday) Answer

OK, I'm actually on time for this. The BS Friday story was all true. Yes Saurabh, I was a happy/lucky senior in high school. The thing was, Ms. Leslie (not her real name, remember?) was also a great friend. I was too young and naieve to even think of possible consequences or that maybe she was just considering me a revenge toward her husband. I had a great time.

It did influence me in other ways. My first serious relationship after this was with a woman 11 years older than me. The one after that was with a woman 15 years older than me. I didn't feel like girls my age were interesting at all after being with an older woman for a while. I also had a tendency in my wilder, single years to have married women as girlfriends. It became a thing with me.

I don't know if those things were good or bad, but I do know the time spent with Ms. Leslie was some of the most fun and free I can remember.

She signed my yearbook with a 'secret term' that we made up so I'd never forget her. It seems innocent enough to anyone who reads it, but we know what it means.

As if I'd forget.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Welcome To BS Friday***

Welcome to BS Friday, one day late. *** Sorry! I didn’t have the chance yesterday to post this.

OK, you know the drill. I’ll write it, you tell me if it’s real or just plain old BS. This week’s post is called: Teacher’s Pet

If you’ve read last weeks post about the Teacher in High Scholl who was known for his philandering ways, you’ll see I mentioned the Art Teacher who was his wife. Well, this is “our” story.

I mentioned my artsy ways and that she was the most popular art teacher in school. For all three years in Senior High I had a class with her. My senior year I had three. The thing is, I was in advanced classes and by the time I was a senior, I had enough school credits to graduate. In the current system, I could have graduated in 11th grade and started college early. They didn’t do that back then. So my senior year consisted of one English class that was required of everyone and all the rest were electives. I had Spanish, 3 art classes, Drafting and Phys. Ed. Every day. It as a blast!

Well Ms. Leslie (not her real name) and I became quite close over the years. She always hand picked the students she wanted for working on special projects like Prom decorations, Homecoming decorations, etc… I was one of 3 she always had helping. She was also the Tennis coach and I was on the Tennis team. Sometimes we would stay late and play a few games after everyone had left. It was fun. (I never could beat her though.)

So shortly after the senior year started I was involved in a decorating committee meeting and Ms. Leslie seemed a bit off. She seemed distracted. (This was also shortly after last week’s BS Friday incident.) After the meeting I walked her to her car to see how she was and she started telling me that I should beware of making rash commitments with people. That it would only lead to trouble. She had tears on her face and was really embarrassed, but wouldn’t say more. I wasn’t too clear on her meaning, but I just let it go. I had my ideas. That night I gave her the first hug I had ever given a Teacher and she let me. I did feel bad for her.

Every day after that I would talk with her and try to see what was happening. After a few weeks she told me one night what was wrong. She had indeed caught her husband messing around with someone. She just didn’t know what she was going to do. We were sitting on the bench in the middle of the tennis courts. It was late, after dark and no one was around, so I sat close to her and put my arm around her. She laid her head on my shoulder and cried for a while. I felt bad for her, but I was feeling like a King at the same time. It was hard to decide what to feel.

We became closer after that. I would stop by her classes even when I wasn’t scheduled. We played a lot of Tennis together. We started meeting on weekends for lunch. I was seriously crushing on her.

Then one night she whipped me badly in Tennis and when we were packed up to leave, she just walked right up to me and laid this big kiss right on my mouth. I just stood there. Shocked. I couldn’t say anything and that made her laugh. Then she did it again. After about the 3rd kiss, I got the hang of it and we ended up in a long make out session. Then we went home. No discussion. Nothing said at all. We just went home.

The next day she acted like everything was all normal. So I followed her lead. With one difference; I didn’t sleep at all. Hey, I was a teenage boy and a very sexy, sweet Teacher had kissed me. A lot. I didn’t sleep for a week.

Two nights later we played our usual set of Tennis. I was horrible. The hormones had me all screwed up. I think she knew it. When we were done playing, we sat in her car and it happened again. The kissing was heated to say the least. Then she said “C’mere”, got out of the car and led me to the grass along side the courts. She had a blanket and spread it out and we laid down and started making out again. It went much farther this time. We spent an hour or so there under the stars naked. It was unbelievable! Talk about a high school fantasy come true!

The relationship continued all that year. We met whenever we could and it just seemed like the natural thing to do. Of course, I couldn’t tell anyone, but I didn’t care a bit. I was in heaven. I had a school year full of nothing serious to do and a secret girlfriend with no strings sex. Totally fine with me. It never occurred to me that I might have just been her revenge on her husband. I wouldn’t have cared anyway.

When graduating time came, it was sad. She told me would have to stop. She was feeling a little guilty now and she also didn’t want to hole me back from any experiences I might have in college. The weekend after I graduated we met for the last time. It was sad but happy. Then I went away and got into the swing of life.

I did go back one time, about 5 years after graduating. I went to the school to see her and we talked for a little while. Apparently she and her husband were trying “for the third time to work things out” as she said. I didn’t press it. I got a hug and left. I haven’t seen nor heard from her since. Sometimes I do wonder how she is doing. I do know this much, she made my senior year quite memorable.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Question(s) Of The Day

Once you get here.....

How hard is it to get to here?

How long will it take?

Happy Birthday Ian

Today is Ian’s birthday. Everyone go over and wish him a happy birthday. For my part, I’ll be wishing him a happy birthday the Seinfeld way.

"Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year’s gone by and how little we’ve grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it’s not meant to be. That for the rest of our sad, wretched, pathetic lives this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably. Irrevocably. Happy birthday? No such thing."

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Stay Away From The Dark Side

I have to admit something; I am having a hard time adjusting to the new job. The problem? It's a real facility with real professional people with real enthusiasm and real goals. The program has a plan for the future and it is actually ahead of schedule thanks to the right people being hired and they themselves carefully screening their new hires, adding more good people. Basically, it sucks.

You see, here's the problem. I came from a place that was/is the exact opposite. A badly managed, run down facility where only the dopes and a-holes stay with a very few good people carrying the load for them. The place has no structure, no plan and tons of untapped potential. It's basically a wasteland. The turnover is tremendous. It was great.

The real truth is this, once you live unstructured, undisciplined and free to do as you please, it's very hard to go back to the real world. I left a well structured job, went to the place where it was basically a free-for-all and now I'm trying to go back to a well structured existence. It's very hard.

It's like this, if a nice innocent person never experiences the wild side of life, they are blissfully unaware of what they aren’t missing. But if they experience a little wild life, they get the itch. It doesn't go away. "Once you start down the dark path Luke...." Even if the innocent that has been a little wild tries to go back to their innocent lifestyle, they are not satisfied. They know that something more exciting is out there. They are never the same.

That's how I am at the new job. I went from doing my own thing and making my own schedules with no one questioning me (ever) to a structured day with plans and goals and expected results. I am having a hard time with this. It is a struggle.

I guess I just need to buckle down and bear with it. Maybe I can re-learn to be a semi-professional employee again. I hope so. But for right now, I’m more than a bit frustrated.

A word of advice... stay away from the dark side if you plan on being able to step back into the real world again someday.

The Best Laid Plans...

Last night I was home alone for the evening. I love those times when I have the place to myself! I am still feeling sick, ever since Monday, so I was looking forward to a nice, quiet evening. Naturally it wasn't to be.

I decided to go ahead and take out the trash and take care of the Kitty stuff so I could relax. Well, I managed to slosh my Cherry Pepsi over the coffee table, spill the dirty cat litter all over the kitchen floor & drop the garbage bag in the breezeway. Junk everywhere. I could see that this wasn't going to be a typical evening.

Finally, after cleaning up the messes and getting ready to settle down with my lovely KFC dinner, the stupid phone rings. Me, being me, I looked at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number, so I ignored it. Shortly after this, the phone rings again. This time it was a friend, but I wasn't finished with dinner, so I waited and called him back a few minutes later. Afterward, I didn't even get upstairs to clean up before the stupid phone was ringing again. This time I didn't even bother to look. Screw that stupid phone.

I got back downstairs and got ready to watch The Warriors, the Director's version, (which is awesome, btw) and it hadn't even started when the doorbell was ringing.

Now I was cussing. I went upstairs to find that the guy who had sold us the bathroon stuff (new fixtures, tub, etc....) was there to do a follow-up. Did we like the install? Are we satisfied? All that stuff. Then he goes into his spiel about referrals and would I write him a letter of recommendation. That stuff. All I wanted was for him to leave. Basically, I told him I was not feeling well and maybe I would do it for him this week. In my mind I was saying "Just get out!"

So finally after I got rid of him, I managed to see The Warriors. It has always been one of my favorites anyway. I saw it 3 weekends in a row when it was new in the theatres. If you haven't seen it, check it out.

The night didn't turn out to be as relaxing as I had hoped, but at least the end was good. Now I have to go to the new job feeling like a big balloon is stuck up my nose. This should be a fun day. Wheee!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

More Goofy Jokes

I'll be locked away from the world again today for more training so I thought I'd post the last of the goofy jokes I have saved. No, I can't resist them.

This is just my way to help you through your day.

Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers

Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog

What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?

What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag

Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat

What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer, and a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes ... Whack, "Crap"!
A Bad Skydiver Goes . "Crap"!, Whack!

How are a Texas Tornado & A Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer!!

Monday, November 14, 2005

A Post About Nothing

I just wanted to post something but I don't know what to post. So here's my post about nothing.

Was it good for you?

I Am A Superior Being

They say that everyone is the same. That there is no superior race. I have come to the conclusion that they lie. I know I am part of a superior race. I am one of the 'Good Driver' race.

I've realized this recently because I no longer travel on 3 lane highways. I now travel a lot of one lane-each direction roads before I hit a 2-lane highway. It's on these roads where I meet the inferior race. The dreaded "Stupid-ass Shitty Driver" race.

This world is full of these stupid-ass shitty drivers. They are everywhere. On the stupid narrow roads with no passing zones, they rule the road. Their stupidity and callous ways are on display every day on these horror filled roads. They drive so far below the speed limit that the speedometer has a hard time registering. They stray from their lanes like they are blind and they ride in the passing lane of the 2-lane highway like it is their own personal lolly-gag lane to heaven.

When I invariably get stuck behind one of these lesser beings, I do not feel pity. I do not feel compassion for their place beneath me in life. All I feel is anger and frustration and the yearning for a built in bazooka that pops out of the front of the car. Then I could clear the road of these vermin and send them back to the dung heap where they belong.

Yes, I guess I am a racist. I can't stand the "Stupid-ass Shitty Driver" race. But the powers that be have made it a crime to exterminate these losers, so I and others of my superior race of decent, good drivers will just have to suffer their existence.

I would love to never have to see another one of them again. I wish they would be extinct. I know that is wishful thinking. At least until they allow a day of 'open season hunting' for the "Stupid-ass Shitty Drivers", we are all doomed. But when that day comes, I will be the first in line for my hunting license and I will have the best time committing genocide on a race that truly needs to be exterminated.

The problem is, I know exactly where they will be today. Directly in front of me the whole time I'm on the road. I am doomed to see yet another one in front of me today, and the day after that, and the day after that.....

Oh well, time to go......

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I Really Must Be Behind

I watched one of those countdown shows on VH1 recently and it made me realize that I have to be a bit behind the pop-culture thing somehow. It was a countdown of the 100 Greatest Moments in Entertainment or something like that. I just either didn’t feel like some of the things were all that great or I just never bothered to see some of the stuff they claimed were so awesome because I thought they looked boring.

I saw a few things I totally agreed with, like when Sheriff Brody saw the shark (Jaws) for the first time and it scared him. All he could say was “I think we need a bigger boat.” Great moment. And the moment at the end of Gone With the Wind; “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” I even agreed with the Thriller album and the video being super cool. I can’t stand Michael Jackson, but that moment in time was all his and it was great.

Some stuff I didn’t get were moments like the spot in the movie ET when they apparently flew on bicycles. I never saw ET. I never even had the inclination to see it. It just looks stupid to me.

I also never saw the Godfather. None of them. They are movies I would like to see someday, but I’m not too worried if I don’t. I’ve also never seen Scarface all the way through even though I’ve always intended to. I don’t care for much, if anything, Disney and I think Survivor is stupid.

I have mentioned several times before how I really don’t get the whole Beatles thing either. (Yes Cindy Lou, I know you love them.) I just don’t think they were all that great. They were better separately. Of course they are now promoting Paul McCartney’s new album that I’m sure will be a major yawn-fest. He’s been boring since the 70’s. I think he needs to retire permanently.

Maybe I’m a goof or something but they ranked the movie “The Titanic” above the scene where Luke finds out that Darth Vader is his father. I don’t think so! How can that be more awesome? I knew the boat sank even before going to see the movie. They ranked Michael Jackson’s moon-walking on TV above the Seinfeld episode “The Contest”. Please! (Are you master of your domain?)

Oh well, I know it’s all subjective and everyone has their own opinions. Maybe I’m not so much into the pop-culture scene as I thought I was. Maybe that isn’t a bad thing. Maybe I just shouldn’t watch these darn ‘100 Greatest’ shows anymore since I get so confused as to how they rank them anyway.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

All Babies Are Beautiful?

They say all babies are beautiful.

I have always had a different opinion about that.

BS Friday Answer

Time for the truth about the BS Friday story. The truth is..... it is mostly a big fat lie. Some elements are true but mostly it’s not.

The first 4 paragraphs are true. The cliques and the plan to broadcast something funny did happen. We just never got around to it.

The part about the stripper party was semi-true. It happened but we weren’t there. The Teacher sleeping with the ex-student who was a stripper was a big rumor mostly because he did get busted with another Teacher. His wife was also the Art teacher I referred to. I benefited from her husband being a butthead, but that is a story for another day.

One other thing, somewhere in all my old junk around here is one of the autographed pictures that the stripper girl signed for “The Boys in the Lounge”. That is how she signed it. My sister knew her. She said the girl graduated 2 years ahead of her. I haven’t thought about that pic. for a long time. Who knows, maybe she’s a famous porn star now? I could sell it for a few bucks. If I can find it again.

Thanks to everyone who played along.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Flip, Pick & Riff

Tagged by Ian

1. flip open a dictionary and point to a word.
2. type the word into google images.
3. pick an image that strikes you.
4. write a 10 line riff off the image.
5. use the word or the meaning of the word at least once within the first 5 lines of your riff.
6. tag 3 other bloggers on your list.

I know she's trouble.
Still, I can't resist.
I see the twist in her soul like it is in her image.
There is no turning back.
The claws are out.
I'll feel them soon enough.
The cruel reality is that I want to feel it.
If not for love, for just the feeling of living again.
She's been worse to better than I.
Soon it will be me in her grasp.

I tag - the first three people to read this and leave me a comment on it.... (Thanks for that idea Ian.)

Welcome To BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. You know the drill, I write it, you try to guess if it’s real or just plain old BS. Today’s post is called: Too Much Information

When I was in High School, I was a bit of an oddball. Not the weird kind. The kind that didn’t fit into any one clique but fit into almost any clique at the same time. I played on the Baseball Team and the Tennis team, which got me in with the Jocks Clique. I was a Chess team member and was in all the advanced classes, which got me into the Geek Clique. I was from a very poor family in a very bad part of town, which got me in with the scumbag/stoner/roughneck Clique. You know those people, they are the Clique that despised cliques in general.

The one clique that almost everyone remembers me for is the Artist Clique. All through school, starting at a very young age, I was known as an Artist. That was the group I liked best too. They were the most creative and the most unpredictable. Even more unpredictable than the stoners and scumbags.

One day at school I was hanging with a few artsy friends in the school auditorium. We were the Stage and Lighting crew for any plays and concerts that would be done by whichever group would be scheduled that week. Most of us were in those groups too (I was in Glee Club, go ahead and laugh.) so the crew was kinda large to make sure every show was covered.

This particular day one of the techno geeks was there and he started demonstrating his new toy for tapping into the school announcement system. He could plug into almost any audio jack available and transmit anything he wanted to. Keep in mind, this was 1981 and it was a big deal to figure out stuff like that back then. Naturally we decided we needed to shake things up a bit with this newfound super-power. The problem was, we couldn’t decide what we would have to broadcast over the entire school audio system. Some argued for loud music. Some argued for dirty jokes. Some wanted to do a made up public service announcement. The notion then came around that it would be really cool to record one of the Teachers or even the Principal in a conversation that was, hopefully, embarrassing to them. That would be the ultimate choice. Now we just had to figure out who and what and how we were going to get this recording. Also keep in mind that cassette tapes were fairly new then too and those little recorders were rare.

We decided that it would be best to bug the Teacher’s Lounge to get some good stuff. So, being the trusted geeks we were (which meant one of us usually had a key to anywhere in the school at some point) we coordinated our efforts and managed to plant 3 microphones in the lounge with three remote recorders going. Of course, they had to be manually started and stopped so we had to plan carefully. During one afternoon of taping a small group of men teachers we hit the jackpot. They were talking about having a stripper come into the school and do a little show for them for one teacher’s birthday. The best part was that the girl had graduated from the school a few years before. We were psyched!

On the night of the strippers arrival, we all were in attendance. It was a Saturday night and the school was supposed to be closed. It was hard to fit 11 guys around the “peeking” area that was available. We had made a few minor adjustments to the drop ceiling so we could see and hear what was happening. The teachers were drinking and rowdy and it was hard for us students to hole back our laughter. Finally the stripper showed up. We became deadly serious and had our tapes running. I didn’t recognize her but a couple of the other guys did. She began the usual flirtation and dancing and then off came the clothes. She was hottt! The guest of honor got some special attention. She hung around doing naked things for about a half hour, then she kissed each one of the guys in attendance. I have since learned that they don’t do that anymore. She even signed a few pics for them before she left. As she was leaving she turned and asked Mr. Birthday guy if he was coming along. She had promised a special night for him and she wanted to pay up.

We couldn’t believe what we were seeing. The party continued in the room for a while. A couple of our guys snuck out to follow the teacher and the stripper. It turned out that she took him to his car and did him in the back seat! Apparently she had a thing for this teacher when she was in school or something.

Later that night we all got together. I admit to being mildly in shock. I think a few of us were. That Teacher was not only a popular one but his wife was an Art teacher in the school. She was maybe the most popular Teacher there. We had gotten more info than we had bargained for. None of us we ready to broadcast what we had seen and heard.

On Monday we decided we would just forget the whole idea. It had lost it’s fun now. I never looked at that Teacher the same way again nor could I help but feel bad for Mrs. Birthday boy. (That didn’t last long but the reason is a story for another time.)

Sometimes you do get more than you bargained for, even when it’s supposed to be just for fun.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

The Time Of My Life

Last night I was going through my 'storage' room in the basement. (It's the room that is full of stuff stored until the flooded area is fixed.) While going through looking for something I came across my old 12 string guitar and decided I had to play it for a bit.

I got it out, opened the case and when I touched it to take it out I had one of those movie moments where a thousand memories fly through your mind once you touch something from your past. It was weird but really cool. I remembered recording sessions with the 12 string, I remembered music lessons from a friend who is long ago passed away, I remember frustration in trying to learn how to tune the darn thing. I remembered a lot. Almost in an instant.

I sat down and tuned the guitar. It really wasn't too badly out of tune for all the time it's been sitting. Amazingly, when I started playing, I remembered a lot of the old songs. Songs G and I wrote and recorded. Songs I taught myself, like Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. Some stuff I could only remember parts of. I played for about an hour, but my hand started hurting too much to continue. I'm way too much out of practice for a 12 string.

Then I sat there and let the memories flow through my brain. I remembered the day I brought that 12 string home. G laughed at me and told me I was into self torture. It was 1989 and I had just recently started learning to play. Here I was taking on this instrument. I remembered so many things and when I thought about it. I felt happy and sad at the same time. So much happened after I bought that thing. So many people in and out of my life. So much good to remember and so little sad.

Then I had this thought, what if I never am that happy again? I realized that I was much happier with life back then than I ever had been and have ever been since. I didn't know it at the time, but those were the times of my life. Maybe. Then I got worried. I don't want to have to look back at another era and remember being so content with life. I sure would like to feel that way now. I don't.

I can't claim to be unhappy now. I have a good life. But I think I know that something is missing and the thing is, once you've had a period where you are really settled and happy and enjoy a lot of your days, it's really hard to have a lesser existance and be satisfied. Maybe that's why I am never satisfied with life anymore. Maybe I've already had my moment in the sun. Maybe I've already had the time of my life.

I sure hope not.

I think this will be a melancholy kind of day.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Today's Fun Fact

In 1951, Miss Sweden was 5 feet 7 inches tall and weighed 151 pounds. Miss Sweden in 1983 was 2 inches taller and weighed 45 pounds lighter.

Things that make you go hmmm.....

Kid Haters

Yesterday I was talking with one of my new co-workers and she was telling me about these neighbors she has. They hate kids. They are an old couple, in their 90's, and they hate kids. They have never had kids and they have never wanted them.

I know a lot of people say that. Most just shirk the responsibility of kids, a lot simply don't want to be around them. Some very few truely hate kids. These people are in that catagory.

Here's the proof. First, they keep a rolled up hose out on their front porch and when the kids are heading home, the old lady goes outside and sprays any kid that gets 'too close' to her yard.

They have never allowed one child into their home. Their siblings and friends who have kids stopped coming by a long time ago because they won't allow kids even into the yard. They also always start bitching at anyone who has kids because they don't understand why they have them.

The real proof is this; they put into their wills that when they are gone their house can not be sold to anyone who has kids. If there is a child in the family, the home is not for sale. If the woman is pregnant, she can't move in.

That is some serious kid-hating.

I don't know how that part in the will can ever be enforced, but it does prove their hatred for kids. I am sure I've never even heard of people like that. The whole thing is a little scary.

Momma's, don't let you kids walk past that house. They might end up soaked by the old lady or worse. Who knows what someone like that is capable of?

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The World's Shortest Personality Test

I snagged this from Peachy who snagged it from Cindy Lou who, ah... never mind. You get it.

Your Personality Profile

You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth.
While you may not be a total hippie...
You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around.

You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure.
However, you do put some thought behind all your actions.
Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time!

Frankenstein Trucks Are Real!

I'm back! I didn't have time this morning for a blog session. Nicci is sick and I had to make sure she was OK before I went to work. Sorry but some things take precedence over the blog. Shocking, I know!

The second day was about the same as the first. Nothing too interesting to tell. But of course, here's something weird...

On the way home I got behind this super slow poke driver in an old beat up Ford truck. One of those little ones. As I followed him I noticed that his cap would wobble kinda funny when he hit a bump. When he turned a corner, it leaned way over. More so than the truck. Naturally I had to investigate.

Since he was such a slowpoke, I just ran up close to his bumper and there was the answer. He had attached that cap to the bed by screwing some of those hydraulic type of things to the bumper. They were those things that hold a window up or some small car hoods open. The top was screwed into the cap and the bottom was screwed onto the bumper. It did not look safe.

Soon I got to look more closely and I saw that the cap was actually parts from several caps put together. The back window was even an old screen door window cut to size. (Yes, I am serious!) I had to see more so I passed him the first chance I got and checked out his handy-work as I went by. That cap looked like a version of Frankenstein made for trucks. And it wobbled the whole time. He had attached the front of it the same way, with those hydraulic things.

I got to see the driver and I wasn't surprised. He looked to be about 105 years old and like he was a total do-it-yourselfer. Including his clothes and that weird hat he had on. It looked like an old straw farmer's hat but the top was gone. His head was sticking out of it. He had these huge knuckles that he gripped the wheel with so tight they were white. As I went by, he looked over and nodded. One of those quick, one nod kinda nods. So I nodded back.

After seeing the rest of the truck and all the beautiful engineering that went into it's design, I was happy that I had passed him. I was sure that parts of the thing were just going to start flying off and I didn't want to be behind him when they did.

It was easily the weirdest conglomeration I've seen on the road. But it did make me smile. For that (and for getting by him safely) I am grateful. :)

Monday, November 07, 2005

Culture Shock

I just finished my first day at the new job. I think I am in culture shock. Everyone there is very positive. They are very laid back despite all the work required in starting up a new facility and they seem pretty OK to work with so far. I'm not used to that. I really liked where I was before this but the atmosphere was totally different. Not one positive vibe could be found in the place.

Sure, I seriously miss a couple people (Peachy & Spacebrain are all that's left there) but I don't miss the gloom and doom feeling.

There is a lot to do and the professionalism of my co-workers makes me feel very sure we will get it all done on schedule. I hope the second day is as smooth as the first.

Funny thing though, I am already sure that I will be leaving this job once everything is up and running well. Probably a 2 year stop is all it is. I feel like I won't be there any more than that. I'm not really sure why, but that is my first impression.

Who knows? Maybe I'll end up retiring from there. That's how my first impressions usually are anyway. So far from accurate.

It was a long day though. I first went and had to have a tetnus shot. Then they did a TB test. So on my left arm there are now 3 holes put there since last Thursday when they drew blood during my physical. They are making me into a pin cushion.

I did find myself wondering how my old friends were making out today. Peachy called me in the afternoon and we talkes for a whiole. (That was awesome. Thanks Peachy.) I guess I feel like I left them down a little.

So all in all, it was a good day. No feelings of wishing I wasn't there. No regrets. I guess today was a success. Hopefully the next one will be a success too. Isn't that all we can ever hope for anyway?

A New Type Of Monday

Very soon I'll be leaving for the new job. I am OK with starting at a new place. It really doesn't bother me too much. The part of missing old friends at the old place does bug me. I hope the new place isn't full of butt-heads.

The no blogging thing will be hard too. There will be some withdraw there for sure.

I hope everyone has a great day and I'll be checking in later tonight. Just for fun I'm posting a few more of my favorite dumb jokes. Yes, I love them even if they are goofy. I'm a little goofy too sometimes.

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?

What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese

What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk

What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?

What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck

Have a great day! :)

Sunday, November 06, 2005

BS Friday Answer

OK, I'm back. The trip to Colonial Williamsburg was great! We toured Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown while we there. Also the Williamsburg Winery, which was a highlight. It was a kick-ass trip. If anyone hasn't been to this area to suck up the amazing amount of American history available there, I totally recommend it. You won't be sorry.

As for the BS Friday story, it was false. A total lie. Sorry to disappoint those of you who consider me an angel and all, but I do lie sometimes. ;)

One truthful part of the story is that I do know a guy like that. He was even half-killed by a stripper's bodyguard at a bachelor party once. He touched the girl. Dumbass. But the truth is, I don't hang with someone I can't stand and just knowing he was in the same town gritted on me, so I never witnessed anything but that one incident.

Now for the bad news. I won't be blogging from work anymore. I read the info from the new job and it specifically states what can and can't be done with the work computers. Blogging and anything not work related are disallowed. I'll be an early morning and evening blogger for now. Hopefully I'll get into a good routine. I guess I was spoiled at the last job. I've made a lot of good blogger buds and I don't intend on losing any. Bear with me until I get used to the new hours and get into the new schedule.

OK, now it's time to see what you've all been up to while I was away.....

Thursday, November 03, 2005

BS Friday (A Little Early)

Welcome to BS Friday. You know the drill, I’ll write it and you tell me if it’s real or just BS.

(I have to post this now because I don’t think I’m going to have the chance tomorrow. Plus, you get a longer time to think about it since I’ll be away until Sunday afternoon.)

This weeks post is called: Quit While You Are Behind

I am always amazed at the recuperative abilities of the human body. It really can heal itself quickly. One time in particular comes to mind.

I was out with friends one night and this guy we knew showed up that wasn’t really invited. You see he was a big mouth. He was also constantly wired somehow and never shut up. On top of that, he was just plain old obnoxious. No one invited him out because after a few brews, he was got completely out of control. Scary out of control.

This night just happened to be a bad time for that. We all met at a local bar before going to a strip club just over the state line. He caught us as we were finishing our last pre-trip beers. Naturally, he invited himself along.

When we got into the strip club we all got some liquid refreshment and squeezed up to the raised dance floor. Everything was going OK until big mouth got a few beers in him. Then he started with the stupid stuff. He would lean way over the brass barrier that kept us slobs from reaching the dancers and try to bite the closest one to him. He would lean way in when they came for his dollar and rub his nose on them as much as he could. He was screaming at them when they weren’t paying attention them. It was embarrassing and very irritating.

Finally one of the bouncers came over to him and told him in no uncertain terms that he had to stop acting like an ass or his was going to get kicked. He of course said he’d calm down. I think he hadn’t had too many beers yet. So when he started buying rounds of Tequila for everyone, I knew he was in trouble.

Soon he was back to asshole mode. We kept trying to get him to chill but it wasn’t working. Then he did it. A new dancer came on stage and came over near us and he went nuts. She leaned down near us and he reached out and grabbed both her boobs. Next thing you know, 3 bouncers had him in their grip and were dragging him out of the place. We followed, trying to tell these gorillas that we would just leave. They threw big mouth down and were totally willing to let us go, but of course he didn’t let things die down. The dumb ass jumped up and ran into one of the bouncer dudes, knocking him down. That was all it took and all 3 of them started whipping his ass good. It took us a good 5 minutes to get things stopped in which time the dork took a pretty good beating.

We took him home that night and a couple guys went inside to help clean him up and get him into bed. He really looked rough. I thought that he’d had to learn his lesson from that. I also thought I would have to worry about running into him anytime soon.

Just 2 nights later though, there he was back out on the town, acting like a jerk and he didn’t even seem to be feeling too rough. When he came over to talk to me his right eye had rainbow colors around it but that was all that was visible. After a few beers, the dork got into a fight with some guy. Apparently he didn’t appreciate Mr. Bigmouth hitting on his girl right in front of him. When the ruckus started, I just got up and left. I’ll bet he still hasn’t learned his lesson. If he’s still alive, that is.

I Think It's Bad Advertising

I went shopping with Nicci tonight and I noticed that there is a brand of clothes called "SAG Harbor". I saw signs and products everywhere. Sag Harbor was on the walls, on the windows and on the racks.

It seems like a bad idea to me. I don't think a woman would be very happy buying clothes with SAG written all over them.

I Love Goofy Jokes

A few of my latest favorite goofy jokes for your entertainment. You can't read these and stay in a bad mood. (Well, maybe not most of you.)

How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It

How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It

What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?

What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef

Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
` Right Where You Left Him

...and my favorite from this bunch...

What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko

Now admit it....
At least one of these made you smile!! Right?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

An "I Love The 80's" Quote

The purpose of the Stealth Bomber was for guys to have another name to call their penis.

Gilbert Godfrey

Garbage Or Poop Fuel?

Tonight when I was having dinner at a local restaurant they brought me this huge bowl of Harvard Beets. Now, I like Harvard Beets, but not a bowl of about 200 of them. As I picked through the stack to get the best ones (which you can do when you have such a surplus) I started to imagine that the little beets were either screaming "Pick me! Pick me!", wanting to be eaten or scampering away whimpering so they weren't chosen.

You see, I imagined that some of them didn't want to be eaten and consequently become poop fuel. They would rather be garbage and maggot food.

The brave ones wanted to be eaten because they knew they were healthy for my body. They were born for this task and were eager to fulfill thier destiny no matter what. They were like the Marines. Hoo Rah!

The chicken ones were also born and raised for the job of making us healthy but they were too chicken to go through the whole process. That part about getting poked with a fork and then being chewed to mulch just wasn't something they wanted to try. They were like the draft dodgers.

Personally, I can understand either point of view.

Funny how something so simple as a large helping of food can become so much fun.

So, which way would you prefer to end up if you were a Harvard Beet? Garbage Or Poop Fuel?

Beer At Work

This sounds pretty good to me.


1. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there’s no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting “Bare ass” on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.

Today's The Day

So today is the day. My last day at this job. It feels a little weird. Maybe a little surreal. I'm not one to change jobs very often at all so moving on is an odd feeling.

I will miss a lot of the people here. Especially Peachy and Spacebrain. I look back on the 4.5 years I've spent here and realize that the place is a virtual rollercoaster ride of promise and catastrophe. There is no middle ground at all. This company should be a goldmine in this business, but it isn't. I guess I'm just tired of waiting for the right management that will help the place reach it's potential. There are places that already are on the right track. This one is full of empty promise. It never happens.

So starting sometime today I'm off to another adventure. I am looking forward to it. A little anxious, a little hopeful, a lot worried about the group of people. That's usually the hardest thing to get used to. Hopefully there are cool people there like there are here. I don't actually start the new job until Monday, but after today, I am free from this dead-end street. That part does feel great!

My blogging schedule will be unknown starting Monday. I am only sure that I will be online in the evenings. Mornings and work time are TBD. I am also away for the weekend so no one panic that I am not posting starting Friday morning. (As if.)

Ok, enough of that. Stay tuned for more fun.....

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

You Know What I Need?

I bummed this from Awna. It's funny to me.

Go to Google. Type in "(your name) needs".

Here are my results:

- Bob needs advice! So who's up for some YB Educatin?

- Dirty Bob needs loving home. I clean up nicely.

- Bob needs the hash of his PK. That should have stopped at 'Hash.'
- Bob Needs a New Cage! No comment.

- Bob needs a life. I had one once.....

- Bob needs to communicate with his supplier. My fix is long overdue.

- Bob needs to roar with pride. I did that once. It hurt a little.

- Bob needs friends. Would yew be my friend?

- Bob needs to realize that there are millions of people around the world that canbenefit from his experiences. Maybe they need to realize this first.

- Bob needs singing lessons. They wouldn't help.

- Bob needs to trust Alice. I will, as soon as I meet her.

- Bob needs to bend over, pick it up, and start walking with the rest of us. I'm not sure what to say to this one.

- Bob needs a maid. With a sexy French outfit.

- Bob needs to be yanked out of his pajamas. Now we're talkin!

- Bob needs to work on his muscle tone too. I have muscle tone?

- Bob needs help being romantic. Not true. I know how to rent porn.

- Bob needs support to learn to respond to adult direction in an age-appropriate way. Sounds too boring to me.

- Bob needs to move back to California from the east coast. Sounds good except I've never been there... yet!

- Bob needs Travis and his trailer. Then he and I can star in "Deliverance II".

- Bob needs your dough. Not cookie dough either!

- Bob needs a good spanking. I'm a baaad boy!

- Bob needs a little brain surgery. I'm like the Scarecrow.

**Lars, I fixed that last one. That just proves the point, eh?