Monday, November 14, 2005

I Am A Superior Being

They say that everyone is the same. That there is no superior race. I have come to the conclusion that they lie. I know I am part of a superior race. I am one of the 'Good Driver' race.

I've realized this recently because I no longer travel on 3 lane highways. I now travel a lot of one lane-each direction roads before I hit a 2-lane highway. It's on these roads where I meet the inferior race. The dreaded "Stupid-ass Shitty Driver" race.

This world is full of these stupid-ass shitty drivers. They are everywhere. On the stupid narrow roads with no passing zones, they rule the road. Their stupidity and callous ways are on display every day on these horror filled roads. They drive so far below the speed limit that the speedometer has a hard time registering. They stray from their lanes like they are blind and they ride in the passing lane of the 2-lane highway like it is their own personal lolly-gag lane to heaven.

When I invariably get stuck behind one of these lesser beings, I do not feel pity. I do not feel compassion for their place beneath me in life. All I feel is anger and frustration and the yearning for a built in bazooka that pops out of the front of the car. Then I could clear the road of these vermin and send them back to the dung heap where they belong.

Yes, I guess I am a racist. I can't stand the "Stupid-ass Shitty Driver" race. But the powers that be have made it a crime to exterminate these losers, so I and others of my superior race of decent, good drivers will just have to suffer their existence.

I would love to never have to see another one of them again. I wish they would be extinct. I know that is wishful thinking. At least until they allow a day of 'open season hunting' for the "Stupid-ass Shitty Drivers", we are all doomed. But when that day comes, I will be the first in line for my hunting license and I will have the best time committing genocide on a race that truly needs to be exterminated.

The problem is, I know exactly where they will be today. Directly in front of me the whole time I'm on the road. I am doomed to see yet another one in front of me today, and the day after that, and the day after that.....

Oh well, time to go......

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