Friday, March 30, 2007

I'm A Bastard

I've come to the conclusion that I am really a bastard child. I know I'm not really but what I mean by that is that although I do know who my parents are, neither of them taught me anything other than what not to do or what not to be. So in essence, I grew up all by myself.

I came to this conclusion recently after having a log conversation with Nicci about my mother. Nicci has done everything possible to be friendly and nice with the woman and recently for no real reason she has started attacking her. My mom is one of those people who stirs up shit constantly. If things are going well, she can't stand it. So now shes inventiing things to be annoyed at Nicci for that don't really exist. The problem there is that Nicci has less patience than I do with stuff like that. In her words, "To hell with her then. I've done what I could do."

The basic conclusion to our recent conversation was that I honestly won't feel anything when she finally kicks off. I've said it before and after going through all the ifs/ands/buts of it I realize that I'd prefer she kicks it soon. I don't want to be bothered later. Plus, if she does go soon then I get 3 paid days off work. Nothing like free days off work to help you appreciate someone. At least she has that going for her. :)

I felt nothing when my dad died. Only happy that they let me out of school for a few days without getting into trouble. My mom will give the same benefit. Not that I'm wishing it on her. Just that I won't care a bit when it happens.

It's kinda been a strange ride growing up and then dealing with the aftermath, getting to where I am. My father had serious problems with drinking. He died in a fire when I was in 10th grade. I didn't really know him anyway since he was not around after I was maybe 8-9 years old. I do remember that when he was sober he was a cool guy. He was a talented artist and a kid at heart. I do remember all that.

My mother, well, shes a freak. Not someone I'd care to ever know. If it weren't for my Aunts and Uncle I'd probably never see her. Shes a strange person who just can't see the world like it is. Shes in some fantasy reality where no one else lives. She just thinks we do.

I really have no idea how I've gotten to where I am today. I guess living on my own since I was 13 and totally ignoring the teachings of the weirdos who bred and created me was a good thing. They are prime examples of why some people should not be allowed to breed. Anyone can make a baby. Few can care for it properly.

My mother is also a prime example of how you can get stuck with some relation that you would never, ever want to know otherwise. Just because you are related doesn't obligate you to hang with someone. Not if they suck.

I'm glad Nicci has seen first hand what I warned her about when it comes to my family. I didn't have to try to convince her. She has been convinced by the mothers stupidity all on her own.

There is some kind of small comfort in feeling like I am a bastard child. It's liberating somehow. Wish I had thought about it like this earlier in life.

Of course, sometimes I could be referred to as a bastard, but at times like that there is a different meaning to the word. :)

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Interruptions, Interruptions!

I hate interruptions too. When I am zoned and one with the universe I don't want to be bothered.

I get this, but more importantly..................

................. look at the way her boobs are drawn. Yikes! :)

My New Philosophy

The other day I came to this conclusion.

I want to live my next life backwards;
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

The Greatest Holiday Of The Year

Next Monday is the greatest holiday of the year. Is everybody ready for it? I am. I'll tell you where I'll be and what I'll be doing that day too. I'll be home, hanging in front of the big screen, watching the Yankees on ESPN HD.

Opening day is next Monday in Yankee Stadium. Its Opening Day elsewhere too but they don't count. I never work on Baseball Opening Day. (Not on my Birthday either but thats a different thing.) This year is sweet because the game is actually on ESPN, not another stunky network. Sometimes I don't get to see the Yanks so I am really happy. Its the next best thing to being there I guess.

But what could be better than being in Yankee Stadium on Opening Day?

Well, being there as they win the Series would be better, but you get my meaning. :)

So I am already psyched for next week. The pitching will be better this year and thats all we lacked last year. It should end up being a kick ass Summer.

The long, long off season is almost over. Life is good again. Anyone else as wired about it as I am? Other than you Karen. I already know the answer to that question. :)

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Conference Call Education

I had to sit in on a conference call today. It was for a project that we are working on for a big time, world-wide agency. (I can't say which one but people in this business all know them.) I was impressed at the list and level of people I was 'hanging' with during this call. The big cheeses, Scientists, Government people. It was impressive. At least it would be if you are not me that is. :)

Personally, I think I should be impressed. I think I should feel privileged to be a part of such a huge project. But mostly what I learned at this conference call was that big time scientists sure like to hear themselves talk. (The other thing I learned was that my boss breathes really hard! He is noisy!) Worse yet, the government cheeses really like to talk too. Our people liked to hear themselves talk away at the same time. It was a lot of talk, talk, talk. I sat there wondering when they would get to my part in the process.

All I cared about was what I needed to do to make sure our end was well covered. I didn't understand much of the science stuff anyway. It was Ok to a point but I'm an equipment guy, not a chemist, a scientist nor a blow hard who likes to hear himself say impossibly big words and all that.

My boss kept saying "When are they going to get to our part?" We had the same thoughts. Even though he understands all the science, he really wanted to know what our part was too.

Then the call was over and our part was never discussed. It was in the minutes to be discussed but it never happened. I felt so lost. Like a floating piece of debris in the ocean. Not needed, not cared for. Just lost.

Yeah, right. :)

So now we will be expected to understand the process, react in milli-seconds when it's time to do our part, and get the stuff made instantaneously without flaw when the time comes to make it. All this without any direction or planning. Impossible?

Piece of cake. :P

Anyway, what have we learned from all this my friends? Nothing much I guess. Mostly that I don't care for conference calls, big time scientists, govt. officials nor heavy breathers. But we all knew that already without having me waste 1.5 hours of my life in a lame conference call. I could have been doing something much more productive like underwater basket weaving or polishing my dog or..................... blogging?

Friday, March 23, 2007

Another Silly Smile

I can't help it:

A guy goes into his new psychiatrists office for his first visit. He is wearing only underwear made from saran wrap. The psychiatrist looks up and says, "Well, I can see your nuts."

Ha ha.

Is anyone else leaving for a sushi buffet lunch right now like I am? Yeah, sorry for you. :P I'll let you know how great it was later.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

French Men Don't Get Caught

French Men Don't Get Caught (link to story)

Does having a fling screw up a relationship or could it help it? I read this story on MSN and found it interesting. All the things you hear about people having flings and how the Europeans have such a different perspective on sex is addressed here. It made me curious to see what we all thought about the subject.

My personal views on the subject have always been quite open. I have known friends who had sexual flings and it made them want their partner more than ever. I have also seen the opposite. A relationship can be totally ruined by a moment of weakness and lust. I also know people who have open relationships where they just agree to have fun but never let it come between them. For me, whatever works for the individual is OK.

When I was single I almost exclusively 'dated' married women so I have first hand knowledge that it isn't just men doing it. The idea of 'cheating' never occurred to me then. They were cheating. I wasn't. But I have trouble breaking promises. If I make a promise to someone then I'll keep it. Not that I haven't broken promises. I have broken a few (even very recently) but it isn't something I believe a person should ever do. If you can and have a clear conscience, then I'm not sure what to think about you.

There's the rub, eh? Can it be done with a clear conscience? If so, what leads to that frame of mind? Is it a sociopathic thing? Maybe.

I have posted a couple of new polls to see what people who stop by have to say about it. As Summer would say, vote early, vote often. :)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Brings Back Memories

This comic reminded me of my last job.

Some places have people who just make up rediculous things and call them ideas. Then they force their brilliance on others and when things go to shit they are stunned.

At the last job the big cheese decided to make every afternoon between 1:00 & 2:00 (forgive me if I'm off on the clock time here) quiet time. No talking, no phones, no interpersonal stuff. Just quiet time at your desk to get things like paperwork done and emails answered. I think that was the plan.

Of course, the idea was totally asinine. What person who has clients calling won't answer the phone? Who won't get up and take care of their emergencies or take a chance on missing a deadline for a customer? Nope, not the best idea ever. It totally crashed and burned. Just like any real, sane person would have known before forcing it on everyone else.

Yep, that old job place really did have some doozies running it. This cartoon reminded me of how mush I don't miss it. I barely even remember much from back then. Except the cool people.

Oldies But Goodies

Have you ever heard the descriptions of the older crowd? Like the 80-100 year olds out there? People always say things like, "He can still eat with a fork all by himself" or, "She walks all the way to the bathroom still." Isn't that funny? I guess those are accomplishments for a 100 year old. But I think those are also accomplishments for 1 year olds too. Not that I would have first hand knowledge of it, but kids have those types of milestones in life.

Are they called milestones if you are at the end of your life too? Hmmm...

Consider that kids start out wearing diapers and old people wear them too. Getting out of diapers is a milestone for a kid. I think getting out of diapers for an oldie means they die. Thats sort of a milestone, right?

Kids walking is another big deal. For good reason. But an old person who still walks is something to marvel at. Eating with utensils is another one. Young or old, it's way cool to be doing it. Except young ones go from being fed to feeding themselves. The older ones go from eating by themselves to having to be fed. Not so much a great milestone.

I think it's funny to see the old newpeople talking about other old people too. It's like the pot calling the kettle black. A lot of those stories are done by people who probably have to take breaks during filming to get a new Depends. (Barbara Walters comes to mind.)

Also, an oldie complimenting another oldie for still be able to do something is a little disconcerting. You just know they are saying it while wondering just how long they will be able to keep going themselves. I always think that when my Uncle or Aunt say something like, "That person still drives around by themselves. I wouldn't ride with them but still...." Now thats funny to me.

It's also weird to sit with my Uncle and hear him and his friends talk about their old friends. There is always something wrong with them. They marvel that some of them are still alive. It's a weird thing to listen to.

I have no idea what brought all this to mind this morning. None. :)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


I've had two visitors already this morning. 7:30 a.m. and already people are bugging me. Don't they realize that the hour before coffee hits the blood stream that I don't want visitors bugging me? Apparently not.

It didn't help that the one guy had a cliffhanger. You know what that is right? Its when a booger is partially hanging out of the nose but the person dosen't notice it. I spent a few minutes wondering if I should mention it or not. I was thinking about it and trying so hard to decide how to say it tactfully that I never really heard what he was saying. So he walked away having wasted his time talking with me because my only memory of his visit was that he had a big old booger hanging out of his right nostril. Nice.

I think I need to post a sign on my door. It will say, "Before coffee o'clock, stay away!" Or something like that. :)

Other news.... well there really isn't much. Lisa is still sick. Makes me sad not to see her every day. She gets these nasty migraines that totally wipe her out. I may blow off the afternoon and go see her. I'm getting Lisa withdraw. I'll be her nurse or something.

My guitar lesson is tonight. I'm looking forward to it. If nothing else, it's fun to sit and play for a while. Rehash some of the old tunes and see how much I remember. Hopefully I'm a good teacher.

Oh yeah! I just remembered! I am going out for a sushi lunch today! There is this awesome place nearby that has a sushi buffet at lunch time. I'm headed there with a friend who I promised lunch a long time ago. She was pregnant and couldn't get sushi so I told her when she was back and able to go I'd take her. She loves sushi as much as I do. So I do have something to look forward to today. That and the end of the day anyway. Cool.

Ha! The Boogie Man just walked by again. From now on I'm always gonna think of him as The Boogie Man. Now I feel like blowing my nose. Go figure.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Smile Of The Day

Two muffins are baking in the oven. One looks at the other and says, "It's hot in here!" The other looks over and says, "Look! A talking muffin!"

Yeah, I know. I just can't help myself. :)

I Wanna Feel Grumpy

Did you ever feel in the mood to be grumpy? I am in the mood to be grumpy today. I don't really feel grumpy but I think I'd like to be. Isn't that strange? I haven't decided to be grumpy yet. Of course, sitting here thinking about being in the mood to be grumpy is making me laugh. Its ruining the mood, y'know? Guess I blew it. :)

I feel relieved today too. After the whirlwind of the past two weeks I have 3 weeks ahead of me of normal, easy schedules. Some of the typical annoyances, sure. But nothing like major projects and big productions and trips all over the swamps of Jersey to worry with. Just normal, everyday stuff. I'm almost not sure what to do with myself this morning.

So I should be back on regular blog schedule for a few weeks. Looks that way at least.

We added two more closet organizers over the weekend. That should be the end of it. It sounds like a simple job but the thing is, the house is old. The shelf (yes, just one per closet) was nailed into the plaster with about 150 nails each. So taking them out sucked. Then fixing the walls and painting had to be done before installing. But it was worth the effort. Now we are all neat and organized.

I think people would be amazed at our house from an organized standpoint. In the downstairs areas we have these cool shelving systems that keep all the junk looking like its not junk. All neat and tidy. Our closets are nice and orderly and the rooms are always neat. Its one thing Nicci and I have in common. We like things put away in their place. Neither of us is a neat freak but we aren't slobs either. These organizer things help keep everything in order and we don't have to be anal about it. It just looks like we are. Nice.

So tomorrow I'll be giving my first guitar lesson. That should be interesting. I haven't taught anyone music in a long time. Besides, I'm just a hack anyway so if she's serious about learning she will need a real teacher in very short order.

I had some really cool pics to post of my WoW character but the format isn't working. I'll have to figure out what I did wrong and try again. She is looking hot! (For a toon anyway.) She has this set of armor that looks like it came from Victoria's Secret. All red and skimpy. It looks sweet. But its also the highest protection she's had yet. Go figure. Look sexier, get better protection. Life just doesn't work that way for real, does it? Nope. :)

I saw that Grace mentioned the movie "300" recently. That is one I want to see in the theaters. It looks so cool. I remember the story from school and I've always been fascinated by it. Of course, I need someone to go with me who likes to go. Nicci isn't into theaters and all. Maybe I can get Lisa to go.

So, I guess it's time to try and catch up on whats happening at work. Not in the modd, y'know? But I'm here and they expect me to pay attention so, away we go.

Anyone else in the mood to feel grumpy today?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I'm A Ramblin' Guy....

It seems like forever since I've had time to stop by here. This past week has been crazy. Too much going on to tell all. Besides I am leaving (again) for New Jersy this morning for a two day trip. Trying to spend lots of company money can be exhausting. :)

Just stopped by before I left to let anyone who may be interested know that I am still here. Somewhere.

Lots to talk about when I get back. Hasta la vista.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

I Tried.....

...I really did. I tried to blog something today but nothing happened. Now I'm out of time and gotta leave. Its a Winter Wonderland here so at least the trip home will be pretty. Until later then........

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Beautiful Emails

Lately I have been getting these amazingly beautiful emails. Check this out:

New York Yankees Postgame Alert
March 5, 2007

Detroit 5, N.Y. Yankees 6 at Legends Field
Detroit Record: (4-2)
N.Y. Yankees Record: (5-0)

Winning pitcher - Ron Villone (2-0)
Losing pitcher - Felix Heredia (0-1)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Detroit 1 1 0 1 2 0 0 0 0 5 8 0
N.Y. Yankees 0 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 6 10 0

DET HR - None
NYY HR - H. Matsui (1) B. Sardinha (1)

Next N.Y. Yankees Game: March 6, 2007 01:05 PM ET vs. Cleveland Indians

It makes me smile every time I look at my email. Just knowing the real Baseball Season is almost here is awesome! (Of course in my email everything isn't all crooked and stuff.)

Summer's coming people and with it the Boys of Summer are back. More to the point, The Yankees are back.

Could there be anything more beautiful in an email? Nope. :)

So It's Tuesday Morning.....

So it's Tuesday morning. Back in the swing for me, I guess. I was out sick yesterday. I went with the old folks for dinner on Sunday and got something there that knocked me about for a while. The restaurant was good, as usual, but something on the buffet must not have been. Nicci felt bad too but not like I did. Had it coming out of both ends, if you know what I mean.

Serves me right. Lisa will tell me (when I see her today) that I got what I deserved. You see, I was considering calling in sick just to have a 'mental health day' soon. Well, I got my day off. Not quite what I had envisioned. Lisa believes in karma stuff like that. Maybe she is right?

The weekend was weird. I got the closet organizer installed just fine. The thing is so cool! Talk about adding storage space. It wasn't all that hard to do either. I think the hardest thing was deciding how to configure it. Once the plan was made, cutting the shelves down and stuff was easy. Other than doing the closet I did laundry, had a date night, played WoW, and stayed quiet. As quiet as my big mouth let's me stay. :)

Yesterday one of our neighbors called to let us know their daughter had killed herself. It was a weird thing to hear. I am friends with them but Nicci is good friends with them. It really affected her.

It was one of those typical suicide stories. The woman seemed fine to everyone around her. No one knew anything was wrong. No hints that something was going to happen. Her Mother and daughter had even spent time with her earlier in the day. Next thing you know, she blows her brains out with a gun. I'm sure some odd secret thing will surface eventually that will sort of explain it all. I say sort of since you really can never fully understand why this happens. We'll see.

We sure are different people too. I say that because of the two different reactions in my house. Nicci was instantly distraught. She was sad and concerned for the family. She is so nice to neighbors and stuff.

My first reaction was "What a stupid, selfish bitch." I was pissed that she would do that to those left behind. I guess we are different but I have never been able to feel compassion for suicide people.

I have always thought that if someone could actually do that to themselves then the world is better off without them anyway. Maybe I'm too cold hearted but that is how I feel.

So Nicci will be helping with the family stuff this week. All sad and concerned and sweet and helpful. I'll be pretending life goes on just like always. See what I mean? Different perspectives.

Now I have to go and get caught up. A day off, unplanned, can be a pain when you get back to work. Planning ahead, well there's a different thing. :)

Thursday, March 01, 2007

It's Mage, Not Maaje

I was away all day Wednesday at a seminar. It was pretty fun. Sometimes those things are a drag but this one wasn't too bad. Hey, I was away from work, hanging with three babes from the department, got a free lunch and had some interesting stuff to absorb. It could have been a worse day.

The seminar was "Strengthening Your People Skills In The Workplace". With a title like that you know it had all the makings of an eventful time. I managed to find out quite a bit of stuff that I had forgotten from previous trainings and seminars. A lot of which I once knew and just stopped using. Of course, at my last job, I basically did my own thing and didn't really have to interact with anyone if I didn't feel like it. (Mostly I didn't feel like it.)

I did learn that my personality at work is a combination of "The Director" style and "The Socializer" style. The Director is the one who can't stand fluffy, long winded sentences. They like to get going, get the job done, multi-tasking, no frills and no fluff. Result driven. The people who take forever to explain things or chat too much are the ones who make this person nuts. I am really like that.

The Socializer tends to be smiling, easy going, results driven too but they like to do it their own way. Low tolerance for direction but good at getting things done. My evaluation showed that I am a combination of both.

The people there were an interesting mix. Some were OK. Some made me crazy. There was this one person who talked about her hobby of playing World of Warcraft. I listened in a little but couldn't bring myself to chat too much with her even though I like to see how other people react to the game. My reason was that she kept saying the word "Mage" (her character) in a funny way. It was like "Maaje" or something. I'm having a hard time spelling it like she pronounced it. Long drawn out "A" and the "G" sounded like a "Z". Sorta like Thurston Howell III would say it I think. It annoyed me very much. :) Webster's agrees with me:

From Webster's Online Dictionary:

One entry found for mage.

Main Entry: mage
Pronunciation: 'mAj
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin magus

So now I want to find out who her character is and run up in the game and wipe her out. Too bad you can't attack players from the same groups you are part of. But I want to. "Hey beyotch! Maaje this!"

Anyway, yesterday was a whirlwind too. Coming back after a day off with a big ass load of work to do makes for a fast day. I started a project at 7:30 and suddenly it was 1:30. The time flew past me. So I finished up what I had to and left with Lisa for a glass of wine. Good way to end the day. Good wine with your best friend in a nice setting for 2.5 hours. The evening was very relaxed afterward.

So today is new period start day. That means I get to write up my end of the period reports, finish up leftover paperwork, go to endless meetings.... *yawn*... yeah, the day will drag. But it won't be stressful and it is Friday.

Plans for the weekend? Yep, I actually have some. Can you believe it? Now don't get too excited. There is always at least one stupid home improvement thing to do. With Nicci around, its non-stop. I am tearing out all the stuff from the big bedroom closet and redoing it. Adding one of those closet organizer things. It should be pretty cool once its done. Plus, the installing should be easy. Its the fixing the walls and painting that sucks. Luckily for me, Nicci won't let me touch a paintbrush so I get out of that part.

We also decided to have a date night Saturday evening. I already know what I'm cooking. Dinner in front of the fireplace, romantic stuff. You know. I won't get all gross about it. Just imagine, K?

OK< time to get this day started. The earlier it starts, the earleir it ends.