Monday, July 31, 2006

Team Appreciation Time

"The Yankees solved two of their problems with one trade on Sunday, acquiring right fielder Bobby Abreu and right-hander Cory Lidle from the Phillies for four Minor League prospects."

That's how the news starts out on Wasn't it just last week that some frustrated dork (named Yankeebob) was bitching about the Yanks failure to solidify this year's team? Yep, it sure was. Shows what old YB knows. Apologies to Brian Cashman. :)

Not only have the Yanks bolstered their lineup with a solid outfielder and strong left handed bat but they added a needed #4 starter. Soon Cano, Shef and Matsui will be back and then we'll be at better than full strength. This team will rock the A.L. East!

I am so looking forward to the post season now. I'm not sure why I doubted the Boss and his henchmen. Good jobs boys. Now, let's Play Ball!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Why Do We Do What We Do?

Well here is the pic of the old lady next door in her undies. Unfortunately I tried to take it with my phone camera so I didn't get busted but it didn't come out so good. Doesn't matter. She is constantly out there like that these days so I'll sneak a better one later on. (Meritt thought I was lying so I had to post this one.)

She has also started walking around looking at the sky and talking to her husband. He's been dead a few decades now. But she's having some good conversations anyway.

Sometime soon I'm going to ask her why she's outside in her undies. Maybe it's one of those things where she is smarter than we are. Maybe she knows she can do it and get away with it because she's an old lady and people will just shake their heads and pity her. She probably wanted to do some risque stuff when she was young but back then people really couldn't. They would get "a reputation" and the whole neighborhood would gossip about them. But now she can run around almost undressed and get her kicks.

Or maybe I have way too much of an imagination.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Wouldn't It Be Funny...?...

... if everything I thought and then said "Blam!" came true? I mean, I'd have to have a codeword so that some thoughts didn't come true. But if I wanted them to be true I could do it.

Like when the stupid ass driver in front of me this afternoon turned suddenly in front of someone without warning, nearly causing a 3 car pileup, and I thought "I wish a cop was here right now to shove his nightstick up your ass!" If I had said "Blam!" it would have happened. Tell me you wouldn't want to see that. I'd stay for the show.

Or how about the giant, supersized woman in the grocery store. She was in the snack aisle filling her cart with chips, Doritos, Pepsi and stuff. I walked by and thought "What you need is some Jenny Craig food Big Mama!" If I could have made that come true it would be using my superpowers for good, right?

I would love to have that superpower. I would use it all the time. There would be one rule to it though. The one rule would have to be that the thought can't be planned. It has to be spontaneous. Like an intrusive thought.

Like when I saw that my 93 year old neighbor was outside in her underwear again. Shiny black underwear only. She's been doing that all week. Not just short trips outside either. An hour at a time sometimes. *shiver* My first thought was "Maybe that old woman needs some sex."

"Blam!" ;)

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Quote Of The Day

"Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed." LKH

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?

I kick ass but I also suck. Oh well, live fast, die young. :)

Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with

General Grievous




Anakin Skywalker


Darth Vader






Clone Trooper


Obi Wan Kenobi


Mace Windu


Emperor Palpatine




Padme Amidala


Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?
created with

Yeah, Big Surprise

So I guess we were supposed to be surprised that one of the 'N Sync boys is gay? Like, it's a big deal or sumpin? Nope, sorry buddy, that is no surprise to anyone.

This story is about Lance Bass and how he is now coming out of the closet. He really believes his sexual preference would have made a difference in the bands (so called band) popularity. Personally, I thought they all were gay anyway.

So Lance is a fag. BFD. (That was for you Peachy. :) )

Kissing Jessica Stein

No, that title isn't about some new love in my life. It is a movie I watched recently and I feel like talking about it here. (Check it out here.)

I actually bought it on a whim from my DVD club. After reading the synopsis I was interested so I ordered it. I wasn't disappointed.

The basic story is about a funny, neurotic woman who is fed up with her lovelife. Her lack of one anyway. On a whim, after some hilarious dating scenes, she answers an ad in the woman seeking woman column. She goes to meet the woman who happens to be heterosexual and is also looking for something different. She pretty much chickens out at first. But they click and things progress. I won't give it away but trust me, the movie is pretty darn entertaining.

For those of you who are freaked out about sexy stuff on TV, don't worry. There is some kissing stuff but it's a PG type film. I highly recommend seeing this one. The ending is a surprise of sorts too. I am happy I got to see it.

It made me wonder just how many people in the modern world have considered doing something like Jess & Helen did. How many people are fed up with useless dating rituals and the stereotypical "man & woman only" rules. It's an interesting concept that I bet happens a lot. With all the internet predators out there who hide their true personalities and the players who just get what they want and disappear I think people get tired of trying to find the right person. Burned out after all the losers they meet. I believe the movie has some basis in fact.

Check it out. On a scale of 1 - 10 I give it a 7.5.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Reason #112 Why I Love My Best Friend

Lisa and I at dinner tonight:

L: What instrument are you playing in the band this time?
YB: Uhmm, I am playing the skin flute.
L: Oh, I thought it was the bone-a-phone.

Yeah, she's cool like that.

They Are Torturing Me!

The Manager of the department next door just dropped an almost full box of Dunkin Munchkins in my office. they are for "whoever wants some." My office is in the middle of the main hallway and I get lots of visitors. There is always a candy stash here and visitors come by a lot. Now there is a box of Munchkins.

The women in that department are always bringing in some homemade yummy thing. There is always an invite to the break room for a snack. Most of the time it is something really worth the trip too.

I have been running and trying to work out regularly. Trying to get into some kind of decent physical shape. This is not fair. I can't resist me some Munchkins. They are calling me... calling me....

*pause for a few minutes*

Damn that was good. I sure hope someone comes by and takes these things away. Uh oh! Do I hear another Munchkin calling?

Sunday, July 23, 2006


The Yankees went down 13-5 today. Lost in grand style. But it was exactly what I expected. Everyone in Baseball probably did too. Having a starting pitcher named Ponson will pretty much assure you of an embarrassing afternoon. They couldn't have signed a bigger bum unless they would go and get Jaret Wright... oh, I forgot, they already did that too. *sigh*

I swear I can't understand where this team is headed with the lame signings they have been making. Anyone following the game knows that Ponson is a lemon. Not to mention how he's a ticking timebomb for major embarrassment. His actions off the field stink as much as his actions on the field.

We can't make the postseason this year with this team. Not unless the Sux implode. I am not quitting so I don't want to hear any crap. I will pull for every moment of every game. I will be excited when they are good. I will be bummed when they are not. It's just that right now I am bummed since it seems that everyone in the Baseball world seems to be able to make better personnel decisions than the Yankees. Is Brian Cashman really still in charge?

Where have you gone Brian Cashman?

Saturday, July 22, 2006


KFC is now the perfect fast food place. Wanna know how they acheived that rating? OK, I'll tell you. They now have sweet corn as a side dish. Imagine that!

Yep, that's all it took for me to rate KFC even higher. Anyone who knows me knows I love the place anyway but now it's even better. They have the best chicken, the best cole slaw, rice, taters with awesome gravy, those pot pies... yum! They even have cherry Pepsi. If you haven't tried those potatoe bowls yet, you really should. They are awesome.

So much good stuff and now corn, my fave side. The only way they can improve even a little more is if they ever start serving carrots. Then I would just go there every day. I wouldn't need anything else.

Gotta love the Colonel.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Random Thoughts And Nice Pics

I just felt the need to post this pic this morning. :)

Have you ever been in a car with someone who will run their air conditioner and then turn the heater on too? The kind of person who heats the air conditioned air to the point that it's pretty much the same temperature as the outside air? Yeah, I have recently and it just got to me. I couldn't figure it out. Makes no sense to me. (And don't give me that 'lowering the humidity' crap. It just made it stuffy in the car.)

Not too many women can get into a simple outfit and make it awesome. Not like this.

I have a friend who busted her husband fooling around on her recently. Dumb ass was sending emails to his girlfriend from home. You would think that people these days would figure out that the age of technology makes that kind of thing nearly impossible to pull off. I'll write more about this later. It has gotten interesting.

Muy Caliente!!!

Gas prices are going way up again. There is an Engineer here that told me that there was a room temp. fusion generator perfected in the mid-80's. He claims the big oil people buried it because it would have put the oil companies out of business in short order. He's into conspiracy theories and all that but when you think about it, these days that sort of technology certainly is possible. There really is no reason for the gas prices to climb. They are just seeing things that they can sell as justification and screwing us over. I should'a bought oil stocks last year.

I doubt she gets this suit wet at the beach. ;)

Maybe this one is her beach suit then?

That is very cool! How come women don't have dresses like this around here?

Has anyone else ever had the Lance Captain's Wafers with Smokehouse Cheddar? Real Wisconsin Chedder, btw. They are great! I got some of those variety packs of crackers for work. This job is so busy I usually don't have time for lunch so I will grab a munchie when I can. I can't wait to try the cream cheese and chive. :)

Simply beautiful. :)

1. Which runs faster, hot or cold? - - - 2. What does Christmas have to do with a Cat in the Desert?

1. .dolc a hctac nac enoyrevE .toH - - - 2. .swalc ydnas evah htob yehT

Sheesh! I have to stop with the pics now. I could keep on and on and on.......

Anybody recognize her before this pic? Be honest.

I actually started this post yesterday. The new job and new schedule doesn't let me do as much with blogs as i once could. i think it's a good thing. I do get to read blogs but posting is hard. So beware... I am still watching you! Yeah, I was talking to you! You know who you are. I see that evile smile..... ;)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

First Loves

Since I moved back to my hometown I have been constantly aware of the one person I knew in life that was my equal. My perfect match. My first real love. I don't mean first lover nor do I mean the first one I had feelings for. But she was and still is the first (and possibly last) real love for me.

She was as adventurous as I was. Both sexually and otherwise. She was smart, funny, warm... everything I thought was great about a person. Naturally I screwed it up for us.

But that's not my point this morning. My thoughts are simply this; once you have that first real love, none before seem like they were anything special. None after are as good. If you lose that one special one you will know it the rest of your life. You never love like that again. You can and most likely will fall for someone else but it's never the same. Never as intense, never as important, never as fulfilling.

Moving back has been awesome. I have no regrets at all. But everytime I venture out I am constantly watching over my shoulder. Watching and waiting for the time when I will run into her. It will happen I'm sure. It's a small town. Plus she knows I'm back. She has asked friends about me. I wonder how I'll react when I see her again? However I do react, it will be another small adventure to be sure.

I'm looking forward to it.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


This morning I had to come into work for a little while. No big deal. But the difference today is a big deal. Instead of being focused on the days work I was able to just let my mind wander as I drove. I noticed right away that it was and it amused me. So I thought I'd take notes and let everyone see how my mind works when left to it's own path. Here are some images from my mind this morning:

Backing out of the driveway I looked at the house. It's not quite a year since we moved in and there is quite a big difference. I need to take 'after pics' and compare them to the 'before pics'.

That old antique fire hydrant beside the State Store is awesome. Wish I had it at my house.

The big old house on the right is for sale. Zoned commercial? That is an amazing house. Must be 75-80 years old. What a waste to make it a commercial property. This is progress?

Saw a sign posted at the restaurant. "Happy Birthday Allie Jo". Made me think of my friend Allie J. Sweet!

Building another bank? Right next to that one? There are literally 6 banks along this one stretch of road. What? 5 miles maybe? We need more banks? And why do they keep building them right next to each other?

Funny, the old drive in sign post is still standing but the drive in is long gone. (The kind where they came to the car window to take your order.) The old 1950's Hot Rod passed me right in front of that old sign. Something ironic there I think.

I also think those days being a thing of the past is so sad. Bummer.

Theres that lawn & garden shop that wouldn't seel out to Lowe's. 4 million for that place they offered. He refused. Now Lowe's has that giant, low priced lawn & garden shop right next to him. He may be doomed.

That old restaurant on the left has closed. been there since before I was born. Sad. Worse for the old people who always went there.

That tire guy sure had to have a rough childhood with a anme like that. Blubaugh's Tires?

Hey, a moped for sale. I think I should get one of those or one of those cool scooters for running around town. Might be fun.

Had to pass that old Jimmy going up the hill. Made me feel sorry for it. The old thing had rust everywhere and all. I remember when having a Jimmy was so cool. That one would be in a retirement home if it were a person. I wonder if he ever made it up the hill. ;)

Passing the meadow that people are fighting to keep from being developed. Pardon me but isn't a meadow supposed to be more than just a mosquito breeding ground? I think those people need to find a real cause to fight for. It's not a meadow. it's a wasteland.

Another carnival on the mountain. Carnival season is the one way to know Summer is in full swing. Brings back a lot of memories. Ummm cotton candy!

Garbage can waiting to be picked up. I wonder how long before all our waste overruns us?

Kids camping in their back yard. I remember those nights when I was little. We didn't have tents like that. We used a blanket and put big rocks at the corners and baseball bats to hold the center up. It always seemd like a great adventure when we slept outside.

Good to see that person knows how to hang their flags properly. I am surprized at how many people do not know proper flag etiquette.

Poor old guy on the road. Seems too nervous to be driving. Stop watching me in your mirror. The road in front of you is more important. Have to pass you now. Bye.

Ice cream and book reading social? Now there is an old world idea. I didn't know people still did ice cream socials anymore. Neat.

Golf clubs in the back knocking against each other. Makes me think about the golf outing I promised a friend. I never emailed him before he travelled. Now he's in town and we have no plans. I suck sometimes.

That makes me think about SanFranLaura calling last night. Great to hear from you Laura. I hope you can stop by before leaving. If not, I am coming out there soon. :)

The big old mansions on top of the mountain are almost all broken up into several apartments now. This area was once very hoidy-toidy. Makes me sad to see those grand old buildings turned into something far less than they once were. Blah!

How strange that this small town has two houses right on the road abandoned. At least they seem like it. They are falling down. Kinda sad I think. When we were kids we looked for houses like that to explore. I have the itch to sneak into those two every time I pass them. Would be fun.

I don't mind this new stop on the road. Gives me time to put the windows all the way down and listen to the rushing water in the stream. Thank God for small favors, eh?

It's so nice to drive alone. I open every window and let the wind whip through the vehicle. No one to complain about it when i'm alone. So nice.

I'm glad my face isn't on one of those billboards. Has anyone ever seen a picture plastered on one of those that doesn't look odd somehow? I never have.

I wonder who gets to design those cool little highway signs that show us what attraction is coming at the next exit? That would be a fun job inventing cartoon-like pics. for those.

There is a big 3/4 ton truck with those things hanging off the back that look like a guys balls. I wonder what those are for? The truck has a big Harley Davidson banner on the back window. Somehow that is the only truck I've seen with big balls and it seemed right.

I wonder who decided to start planting the wildflowers in the median strips? That is such a good idea. They are beautiful.

I wonder just how many people I have passed on the highways in my lifetime? It has to be a huge number. Seems like they are are way too slow. :)

The guy running for State's Attorney would get my vote. He was my lawyer once and helped me a lot. Of course, if I hadn't been so rowdy back then I would never have known him, right?

There are so many people running for Sheriff. I'd like to be Sheriff. I'd hire someone named Barney and give him just one bullet. That should be a requirement for the job.

Looking at that license plate frame. Darn! It wasn't a Yankee one. I just don't understand anyone not having a Yankee license plate frame.

Doofus in the left lane going under the speed limit. Annoying. Then she finally moves over after noticing me behind her. I got beside her and looked over and she was a toung girl bee-bopping to some song. Chair dancing and tapping the wheel. Made me smile and think of Cindy Lou. I couldn't be annoyed anymore. :)

Excitement in my soul! The Starbuck's is in sight! Sweet!

Ohhh, a girl in shorts and a sports bra is sitting outside. She's pretty. I wonder how come sports bras are OK to wear in public but women don't wear just their regular bras out in the open? Aren't they the same thing? You know, in Stockholm when it's hot out everyone goes shirtless. Even the women go bare chested. That was a nice surprise.

Time to get to work. Good thing I don't have much to do. Just punch a button and wait.

There is a sampling of how my brain goes everywhere when left to it's own. Someday I'll look back and read thios and wonder. Maybe.

Friday, July 14, 2006

One Of 'Those' Days

It's one of 'those' days for me. One where I am not in the mood for people. Just people. Of any kind. I think since there are people everywhere around that this will make for an annoying day.

I am sitting here doing the morning routine. Emailing people that I need to speak with and setting up meetings, yada yada yada.... but when I send the email I wish that I didn't have to speak with them at all. I get that growl in my soul when I think about some of them coming to see me or me seeing them. Not annoyed that they will come but that they will come and I'll have to talk with them.

Today could be a long day. I think I need more Starbuck's.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Quote Of The Day

Heard earlier today:

"I hate people who act like jerks! I don't mind acting like a jerk but I sure hate people who act like jerks."

A Birthday Shout-Out

Happy Birthday Summer! I hope you have a great one.

And keep this in mind:

Do lots of things I would do today. ;)

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


Here's something you don't experience every day. I just had a training session at work. An ex-girlfriend led it. It included another ex-girlfriend as a trainee. My ex-wife hosted it. At one point in time this morning I had 3 ex-loves with me in the same room. Too bad it wasn't a private affair. ;)

That made me think about exes. My curiosity got the best of me and I looked through the current directory. There are still several exes here. There are still several women that I 'ran around' with for fun (and 2 others that I won't mention how I really knew them). Imagine that. Wouldn't it be cool to get them all in the same room at once?

Yeah, probably never happen.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

A Warning From Helpie Helperson

This is a friendly warning from your friend Helpie Helperson:

WARNING - If someone comes to your door saying they are conducting a
survey on Deer Ticks that cause Lyme Disease and asks you to take your
clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT!!

IT IS A SCAM; they only want to see you naked.

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday.

I feel so stupid now.

Remember, any help is good help. (Wish I had had help yesterday though.)


So things have been a little crazy lately. Work is sooo busy. Fun busy but busy nontheless. We are trying to get everything in order to start making 'the good stuff' next month in my area. It is taking a while. Mostly because of the "Roadblock People". You know who they are right? The people who always seem to slow down the works. Not always for good reasons either.

For example, one guy has been "working on" a problem for 5 weeks now. We were in a meeting yesterday and when the subject came up for update he gave his standard answer, "I'm working on it." Well, the problem is something I identified the first week I was here and every other day I ask him about the progress. All I get is his standard answer, "I'm working on it." Well, as of yesterday he isn't. That pissed me off so I went to someone who knew the contractor we needed and then got in contact with them myself. They are coming today to look it over and by the 1st we'll have the issue resolved. He obviously never even called since the company was so responsive and helpful. Later he walks by and says "I guess you know by now that the contractor is coming tomorrow?" Yeah pal, I figured that out already.

The other roadblock guy is one of those who has to disagree just for the sake of being able to disagree. He sits in meetings (or has private meetings with people trying to influence them) and takes the opposite side of almost every issue. No one can figure out why most of the time. Yesterday at the same meeting that Mr. Working On It pissed me off this guy started arguing about things we all had already decided upon 2 weeks ago. Everything was supposed to be in order and moving along. Suddenly everything has been stopped because he is waffling. He was holding up needed paperwork because he didn't agree with the committee. Now we were behind again. That really got to me. I asked him point blank why he was rehashing old stuff that we already had worked past. Then I asked him if he just didn't want the project to succeed. He ended up agreeing to do his part. We'll see how that goes.

Work stuff! Sheesh!

Of course at home I am in the middle of having a new roof installed. That is annoying. It always is while it's happening. The guys are OK but have you noticed how no one ever goes along with what the sales guys claim? They promised to clean up and remove all trash daily. Do they? Nope. Crap is piled everywhere. They said they would keep the driveway clear. Do they? Nope. Nicci and I both had no way into our home yesterday. They said they wouldn't harm the garden. They have mangled two plants and keep dropping nails and debris all over the place. I don't want to be mowing and hit nails so I go out every evening and comb the ground for anything they have left lay there. I do it while they are still there so they can see I'm not impressed with their cleaning habits. But that's all to be expected with contractors I guess. Once they are done the roof will look great (plus it's guaranteed for life) and I'll do a thorough clean up myself.

These days are very busy indeed. It's not too bad to deal with but it can get to me at times.

There is lots of other stuff going on right now too. But I'm tired of typing. Need more coffee. Like... right now.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Question Of The Day

The question of the day is what am I going to do with myself? It's a beautiful day and I have no real obligations today. I could do whatever I feel like. I think I will. :)

It's a strange day when you really have no stupid stuff you have to do. I probably will do something constructive at some point. Maybe. Maybe I'll just be a bum and enjoy the sun all day. We'll see. Maybe I'll visit a freind. Yeah, that sounds like a plan. Some nice 1 on 1 time with someone would be fun. Cool!

Anyway, I hope everyone else has fun stuff to look forward to also. I can't tell you how much I am going to enjoy this day. I can tell already it's going to be an awesome one.

Hasta la vista!

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Darth Vader Lives!

Holy Freakin Crap! I just ran into someone here at work that I knew way back when. I was told to expect a shock. I thought I was prepared but I sure wasn't! The guy looks unbelievably different.

He was a good-looking guy back then. Had the ladies all liking him. Now he looks so much different that I almost didn't recognize him. He looks just like Darth Vader when he was unmasked in Return Of The Jedi. Just like him, without all those burn marks of course. I know I just stared for a while.

Wow! People really can change in 5 years. I wonder how different I look to people here?


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

What's Your Name? Echo. What? Echo. Oh.

Lately I have been bombarded with people repeating themselves. I don't know why this is suddenly happening. It's driving me crazy! They repeat things they have told me already. Sometimes it's in the same conversation. Those are the worst. At least some dolts have the decency to let a few hours go in between telling me the exact same stupid shit I didn't care about in the first place.

Next time someone starts telling me the same story over again I am just going to start talking along with them like I am psychic. Maybe that will give them a hint.

BTW, anyone remember that movie line?

What's Your Name? Echo. What? Echo. Oh.

Lately I have been bombarded with people repeating themselves. I don't know why this is suddenly happening. It's driving me crazy! They repeat things they have told me already. Sometimes it's in the same conversation. Those are the worst. At least some dolts have the decency to let a few hours go in between telling me the exact same stupid shit I didn't care about in the first place.

Next time someone starts telling me the same story over again I am just going to start talking along with them like I am psychic. Maybe that will give them a hint.

BTW, anyone remember that movie line?

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Having My Period Again

There are those who fear life. The ones who act like everything is OK and go through the motions, living just like they are expected to live. They seem well adjusted and everything they are supposed to be. They do the right things, live the right way, exist without making waves. They are afraid of living I think. Those types seem pretty false to me.

There are the adventurers who dare life to take them on. They do crazy things to tempt fate. They love life too much. I think they know what it would mean to lose it and they get a thrill out of maybe losing it. They are addicted to the gamble.

Then there are the types who fight with life. That's me. I fight with it every day. I fight with living "properly". I fight with stereotyping. I wrestle with the 'expected norms'. I fight with thinking properly. I never do. If people could hear what I am actually thinking they would be stunned and appalled. The Liberals of the world would have made a new law to try and control thinking like mine. It would scare them to death.

I can't have a minute's peace during the day. I always find myself questioning everything. Things people say and do mostly. But most of the time when someone is saying something to me immediately my mind starts working on what I hear between the lines. I rarely, if ever, believe someone at his or her word.

Mostly I question my personal direction. My thoughts are always toward something different. My feelings are always leaning toward running away and starting over. Doesn't matter that I am better off than I have ever been. Somehow it's just not enough. I don't mean that it's not good enough. It's just not enough. It's just not a good fit. It feels wrong. Always. That's me and that's the fight I have daily.

The people who seem to be content are strange to me. I just don't get how they can be happy and content. Living the settled boring lifestyles that they do. Some would say to me that it's not boring to them. So I say they are boring to me. I hear that they are living proper. I say proper is relative. Proper for them isn't proper for me. Some tell me I would be lonely if I gave in to my desires but I say I've never been lonely. Being alone and being lonely are totally different things. Being with someone should be a desire, not an obligation. Living my way should be OK if I decided I want to. Who has the right to judge me? No one does. I don't judge others. I have opinions and observations but I would never condemn anyone for their choices. I may disagree but I would never judge or begrudge anyone his or her right to choose.

I have a friend who is in a bad marriage. She has a guy who drinks a lot. Spends all their money. Goes out without the family. Actually plans things so he doesn't have to be with the family. He ignores her needs and now it seems he has a girlfriend. His thing is that she's "just a friend". Ok, text messaging your new friend 120 times a week seems like more than 'just friends'. But they have a kid together. She won't do anything to hurt the kid. The kid is still into believing that Daddy is the coolest. So she has decided to stick it out until the kid is older, possibly out of high school. She also likes to say that he's really not a bad guy. No matter what, she's stuck. Being committed shouldn't be a jail sentence. But it does feel like it to my friend. To me it does too. Always.

I wonder all the time who decided the rules. Things like who decided that saying "fuck" is bad but saying "having sex" isn't so bad? But of course, saying "making love" is beautiful. Can't the same couple do all 3 at any given moment? Yep, they sure can. Along those lines, who decided that sex is only OK within a committed relationship? How come people who don't want to commit are looked down upon (still) if they like sharing partners? Especially if they desire the variety. Who decided that having a house and a family and no adventures was the right way to live? Who decided what proper is? I think whoever they are they had to be some kind of boooring! Oh yes!

I have never wanted to own a house. I always wanted the opportunity to bolt whenever I felt like it. Doesn't matter if I ever found a reason to do so. I need the option. Now I own a house. Bolting now would take a few months of pain in the ass legal stuff.

I have never wanted kids because of my strange ways. I used to say I didn't have kids because I was too irresponsible. That was true for many years. But the underlying truth to it was simply that I couldn't be free to be irresponsible if I had kids. I knew I wouldn't be. I knew I'd be committed to them always. So I avoided it.

I never wanted to be committed to anyone. I need the option of being free to be me. A steady relationship is a giant roadblock to personal growth. But here I am. I constantly wonder where I'd be had I made better choices. Who would I be right now? Would I have found someone who really does make me wish for 'the norm'? I doubt it but I made choices that eliminated that possibility. It's infuriating at times. I have no one to blame but me. Stupid ass YB.

I care very much for my current partner. She is the best. But the lifestyle isn't suited to me. I feel bad for her a lot. She deserves more. She is just fine where we are right now. I always ask her how she can be like that. She doesn't know. She says she just is.

I will probably drive myself crazy eventually. I have times where the restraints on me are overwhelming and I break a little. People who know me like to say those times are "my time of the month". I have heard that a lot. I have my periods too. Ha! I laugh but it is the truth. Now I'm wondering how long it will be before I am totally nuts? It would be weird to live to be 100 and still think like I do. Imagine a 100-year-old guy still looking for his place on this Earth. Looking for the right woman. Looking for an adventure. That may be me. Now that is something to think about, eh?

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Trying To Get Caught Up

Fimally I am able to get back to the blog world. I have been so busy this week. At home and at work. I am not complaining. I like to be busy. But it does get tiring. (Unless you are Meritt who always seems to be busy.)

So the highlights. We had tons of rain here. I'm sure everyone knows that. I don't remember a stertch like this past week. Not even during a hurricane that may have strayed our way. This week was rediculous. Naturally we got some water in the basement. Again. Usually we don't have to worry about that kind of thing. But this time it happened. The reason this time is that this old house has those types of spoutings that go right down into the ground and channel the water out away from the foundation. Those things are made of terracotta and they don't last. None of ours is unbroken. So the one in front of the house let water pile up and seep in under the porch which is above one of the only walls we can't drylock. The result is a nice patch of ruined carpet in the basement landing.

I got outside while it was raining and cut off that spouting and screwed on some parts to direct the water away from the house. That was kinda fun. Like a kid allowed outside to play in the rain. (I just hope my rechargable drill survived.) This weekend I will be replacing all those broken in ground spoutings with some kind of new arrangement. Too bad too because I like those underground things.

Work has been crazy. The schedule is packed and besides what I was hired to do I have been helping a lot in the production area. They are so short handed. That part is fun. We have had a few mechanical hiccups too. Of course when I say a mechanical hiccup with certain equipment I am talking a product worth a lot of money is at risk. But so far we have managed to keep things going. Next week will be fun too. They have no backup for my old department and the only operator is on vacation. So guess who gets to go and run his old department for a week? Oh yeah!

The biggest excitement this week by far was the arrival of Grace and Steve's little Mia. Take a look and see how sweet they are. I am so happy for them. I have been negligent in my gushing this week. Not intentionally. But even if it's old news to some of us it's still exciting. :)

This weekend will be fun too. I actually have no real plans so I will be winging it. I hope to escape for a little while and play on my own but mostly I intend to just chill and enjoy.

That's about it for now. I do have a lot on my mind lately and I intend to let it all out on blogger as much as possible. I like reading back and remembering what I was feeling when I wrote certain posts. I believe this should be a good weekend. The Yanks whipped the Mets last night. That is sure proof that the weekend has started off in the right direction. ;)