Since I moved back to my hometown I have been constantly aware of the one person I knew in life that was my equal. My perfect match. My first real love. I don't mean first lover nor do I mean the first one I had feelings for. But she was and still is the first (and possibly last) real love for me.
She was as adventurous as I was. Both sexually and otherwise. She was smart, funny, warm... everything I thought was great about a person. Naturally I screwed it up for us.
But that's not my point this morning. My thoughts are simply this; once you have that first real love, none before seem like they were anything special. None after are as good. If you lose that one special one you will know it the rest of your life. You never love like that again. You can and most likely will fall for someone else but it's never the same. Never as intense, never as important, never as fulfilling.
Moving back has been awesome. I have no regrets at all. But everytime I venture out I am constantly watching over my shoulder. Watching and waiting for the time when I will run into her. It will happen I'm sure. It's a small town. Plus she knows I'm back. She has asked friends about me. I wonder how I'll react when I see her again? However I do react, it will be another small adventure to be sure.
I'm looking forward to it.
2 comments:
Interesting. I look forward to hearing about your adventure, as you call it. You're right, everyone has a first love...or at least most of us do. And sadly "none after are as good" includes my late husband. Strangely my love ran into me and the old emotions instantly popped up after MANY years. Too bad he's still married. He just blows me away! Thanks alot. Now MFL will be on my mind today.
I thought your first love was the yankees?
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