Brain Farts

I saw part of the show 'Untold Stories of the ER' last night and they had this weird chick come into the ER who ate at least 6 rolls of toilet paper daily. Yes, I did say she ate toilet paper daily. What would possess a person to even try toilet paper as an entree anyway? It sure doesn't look appetizing to me. And how can a person try some toilet paper and find it tasty? The only possible advantage I can see to eating toilet paper is if it cleans as it comes back out, if you know what I mean. That would be cool. Poop and wipe at the same time. Maybe she was onto something?

I see where Sean Penn was out for the protesting of the Williams execution last night. There’s a guy you want on your side. Just disagree with him and he’ll pop you one. Yeah, he’s a great advocate for non-violence. The actors who crawl out for the ‘protest flavor of the week’ are annoying. You’d think they would at least try to be consistent with their causes. I think they should just all get together and protest the existence of Tom Cruise. That would make sense to me.

I hate Winter. I have no idea why I haven’t moved away to a nice warm place by now. Have you ever noticed that in Wintertime you can not get out of the shower and still feel warm? Even if your heater is maxed out that cold chill gets to you quick. It’s weird. The best thing ever invented for Winter though are heated car seats. I love having my heated seats in the cold mornings. The only problem is that the butt gets nice and warm and then I get into another vehicle with winter cold seats and my cheeks turns to cubes for a while. That can’t be good if you want to avoid hemorrhoids.

I hear the Olympics are starting up again soon. The Winter Olympics in Italy, that is. Those things just keep popping up again and again. Seems like they never stop anymore. I think I liked it better when they were all together every 4 years. Then you could plan those long vacations away because every network executive seems to think that people actually want to see that stuff on TV. It would be much easier to avoid if it were every 4 years again. What would be really cool would be to schedule the games during the Presidential election year. Then all that crap would be easier to avoid all at once. Maybe we need to do something about this.

I heard a news story recently about a study done to find out why romance in a relationship dies. It turns out that there is a chemical in the brain released during the early stages of a relationship that makes you feel all ‘lovey-dovey’. The problem is that this chemical fades about a year after it first shows up. Even people, who stayed together, married or otherwise, lost their chemically induced romantic notions after about 1 year. It’s good to know that scientists are making progress on proving that romance dying isn’t just a ‘man thing’. But what I want to know is how do I get my hands on some of this chemical? I want to bottle it and sell it. Then I could really be “The Love Doctor”. I’d create Pepe LePews running around everywhere. How fun would that be to see? Note: I wouldn’t use the stuff. I’d just want to watch. :)