Something To Compare It To

Lately I've been thinking a lot about what life was like when I was younger compared to what it is now. More specifically, what it was like to experience something for the first time. How fun and exciting it seemed. Have you ever noticed that the first time for things has a certain zing that never can be repeated? It's true. The second and 10th times all could be great but after the first time, things are never quite the same.

I remember my first kiss. I remember thinking it was the most exciting thing ever. I thought that nothing would ever top that experience. But later in life, after a few more kisses, I realized it was actually the moment that was awesome. Not the quality that made it so great. The quality has gotten better with practice. But nothing compares to that first kiss in terms of excitement.

I remember my first sexual experience. It seemed like the best thing ever to happen. But these days it seems a little lame and even almost gross if I think of it in terms of just a pure sexual act. But back then I thought it was the best. That nothing could ever top it. It's a fond memory but it has been improved upon since. But that moment in time will never change. Nothing will ever take away that excitment. But now I have other memories to compare it to.

It's the same with almost everything. When you have nothing to compare an experience to you believe that the first time is the best ever. The first taste of ice cream, the first roll in the snow, the first love of your life. They all seem to be the best.

Then later you experience things again and you have a reference and you can decide if it was that great or if it was just the moment. Never forgetting the moment but seeing it with more experience is totally different.

These days I am reminded of a lot of moments like that. I have a friend who is a bit younger than me and I have found that I enjoy being with her and watching her reactions to everything. Her reactions remind me of my first time with the same experiences and how I felt then. How I feel now. I see her and I think that someday she will remember this moment and compare it to the most recent time she experiences the same thing. My goal is to make sure her first time at whatever we share isn't something she wants to shrug off. That in 10 years she can look back and still smile. That she will remember the experience with fondness not with relief that she has learned better in her older years. Good goal.

The old saying "Youth is wasted on the young" is truthful if you see it as a statement and not something derogatory. It simply means that the first experience isn't always as good as the repeats. It just seems like it and the young don't have anything to compare it to. Eventually they will and they will remember the first time.

Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward. (Kierkegaard) I get that more and more these days.