Well, tonight was a manly night. I had to flex my manliness genes for a while. Granted, this doesn't happen too often, but it's good to do every now and then if for no other reason, just to be sure I still can.
I bought this cool Craftsman Workstation last week and Spacebrain helped me move it home tonight (since he has a truck and I don't). Sucker was a bit heavy too.
Of course, once it was unpacked, there was 'some assembly required'. But we all know this isn't a problem for a manly man. So I pretended to be one and got my tools out. I laid out all the parts, looked at the instructions and got to work.
Once I started I realized I had already made a giant mistake. I looked at the instructions. Oops! Manly men don't do that. So I promptly threw them away and did what any self respecting he-man would do, I picked up each piece and held it in places that looked like a spot it should go, putting things together that way. I assembled some pieces in spots that just didn't work out and had to disassemble them again. But I wasn't about to break the manly code, so I kept at it. This made the assembly go a tad... oops! can't say tad... it's not very masculine.. made the assembly more of a challenge, but tonight I was manly. I was roughing it, damn it!
After a few hours of assembly and re-assembly, I finally got my manly Craftsman workstation put together. It is beautiful! It holds all my tools in an orderly fashion... oops again!... All my tools and stuff goes into it. It's got power strips, lights, holders for drills and even a beer holder. I can do anything now. I'm ready to build stuff!
All I have to say after this experience tonight is, "Damn, I just don't know what idiot made this damn thing but the damn thing sure was a damn puzzle. Not too damn hard for me though damn it! I'm a man!"
19 comments:
I just had this image of Doc on Back to the Future..
DAMN... DAMN.... DAMN
But, you have to admit, the man was a genius.
YB, your manliness makes me swoon!
Well John, this may force another tear. I forgot to mention the obligatory cut finger on one hand and the smashed finger on the other hand. Those are necessary things when doing a manly project and I got both.
After reading your post & seeing this kind of "manliness" in action I can only say that I am sooo happy to be a woman. I am allowed to read instructions, ask for directions, change my mind.... Yep, it's good to be a chick.
I'm jealous that you have the Craftsman workstation.
You'll have to know what you like and dislike about it.
Glad you stopped looking at the directions. It's too easy to build that way. :)
I have to agree with Jody's post. Sometimes I'm so glad to be a chick, so that I can do something once, and do it right the first time. It's like you guys are supposed to screw it up, and hurt yourself in the process. Weird social expectations.
how about grunting? any grunting? it's not a man project without grunting.
Yup, I gotta agree on the "Sometimes it's good to be a girl" thing. In fact, I always put the furniture together. And I have the tools. Apparently it is just easier for some men to let the women do it and do it right the first time while they sit on their fat butt and watch re-runs of Seinfeld. But I digress. Anyway, I am way too anal retentive and impatient. I could never sit there and watch someone do it the wrong way and without directions. I think I may need help!
Yes ladies, there was burping, scratching, farting and grunting. I had to get it all in since I don't venture into Manliness Land too often.
Next time, I'm inviting Mel over. I still have lot's of Seinfeld DVDs to watch.
What about me, aren't you going to invite me over, too? I'm really good at sitting on the couch drinking beer and pointing to something saying "hey, I think you need to put that there". (and I don't mean that in a sex way, either)
Of course you're invited CL. We can both watch Mel work, giving her much appreciated directions from the comfort of our recliners.
I'm changing "it's sometimes good to be a girl" to, "it's sometimes good to be a self-proclamed girly man" :-D That's me! The only thing I'm really manly about is women/sex/bodies/boobs/vaginas I like that combination way too much...
Argh!!!!!!!!! I am man, hear me roar. Now give me a beer, some tools, loose women, and let's party.
Bob, you have done done a great deed for the entire male population. You have re-acuainted us us with what it is to be man, and what is required of us. F'n A.
I once put together a book shelf and ended up with wounds in both hands from putting the screws in (no holes for them you see, and I had no drill). It hurt like hell, but at least I could pretend to be Jesus...
mmm. beer... god, is it time to go home yet????
I could imagine nothing more enjoyable than putting together furniture while you and CL drink beer and order me around...as long as I can have beer. And mini corn dogs.
Yeah CL, I hear! I can't wait for you 2 to come over. I'll get corn dogs and Smarties for Mel, whatever beer you want and some cool, giant furniture thing that requires mucho assembly. (We have to prolong our power-trip for as long as possible.)
Well, I got the bitch part down, someone might as well get as much use out of me as possible. I'll re-paint your rooms for you too, YB! Just keep the Amstel flowing!
Oh I'll get some use out of you, Mel, don't you worry your pretty little head about it.
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