The Highwayman Revisited…..

...or the continuing saga of the morning commute.

This morning we find our hero, The Highwayman, traveling his well known perilous route of destiny when suddenly his super senses detect the most feared enemy of the road. Yes, you guessed it, Deputy Barney Fife, complete with his one bullet, has sneaked up behind our hero using his talent for near invisibility that always wreaks havoc on highway travelers. But unlike any normal road racers, our hero never panics. Calling on his customary cool, calm demeanor, our hero slowly eases his way into the center lane, knowing that Deputy Fife will pass him by. Officers of the law never pay any attention to the laws when it pertains to them and the Highwayman knows this.

As the deputy slowly passes our hero, the Highwayman slowly increases speed, matching the patrol cars rate. Experience has taught our hero that this is a safe move and he has done it many times. Besides, the exit for the Deputy is coming soon and this pace will not be forced on him for long.

As the exit for the Police Barracks comes into view, the Highwayman notices something strange. Deputy Fife has stayed in the far left lane and has begun to go slightly faster. Hmm... this starts to raise the hairs on our heroes’ neck in warning. His superior senses warn him that this may be some nefarious scheme just to try to trap him and spoil his perfect record of semi-peaceful commuting. The Highwayman doesn’t bite. He stays in the center lane, cruise control locked on, all systems operating at maximum efficiency as the Deputy moves farther ahead with several less experienced drivers following behind like ducks following their Momma.

Very soon our hero sees his instincts were right. Following Deputy Fife and his duckies is an unmarked Sheriff’s car complete with a Roscoe P. Coltrane wanna-be. Just as our hero suspected, a rolling speed-trap! Zounds! As he passes the Highwayman, the Sheriff glances over with distain in his beady eyes, already knowing he has missed his opportunity for catching our hero. As if he ever will! With a sneer on his lips and a gleam in his eye, the Highwayman acknowledges the officer with a slight nod. No sense in being rude. Roscoe must be frustrated knowing his feeble attempts at matching the Highwayman’s skills will always be to no avail.

After a few minutes, the Highwayman sees ahead just what he expected; Deputy Fife and the Sheriff have 3 hapless commuters pulled alongside the highway, issuing them the ruination of their day in the form of a speeding ticket. The rolling speed-trap has once again trapped the lesser commuters, but not the Highwayman.

As our hero passes by, Deputy Fife, with his one bullet clenched between his teeth like a cold, metal cigar stub, glares at his adversary. The Highwayman proceeds ahead, straight ahead, steady course, once again feeling the calm satisfaction of surviving the morning commute. Once again defeating the enemies on the road, the Highwayman prepares to face the day knowing he has a momentary respite from the enemies of the highway, until another time...........

Tune in again next time for the continuing saga of, The Morning Commute.