Thursday, December 28, 2006

My Second Biggest Mistake

For some reason lately I have been thinking (again) about the second biggest mistake I ever made in life. At the time I thought it was the biggest mistake but I topped it later on.

The mistake I made was losing a dear friend, Christie Lee. Christie Lee and I were in love. It was a love/love relationship and we both benefitted from it. She and I were inseperable for a couple of years. I would go to her and we would begin adventures that I've never been able to duplicate to this day. One time it was an impulsive trip to the beach. No planning, just go. Another it was a boredom break where we'd pick a spot on the map and drive there to see what was to see. We always met someone new and had something to tell about it later. CL (my first CL... Ha!) was always there for me. She helped me through some really rough times too. When my first real relationship, first marriage, was going down the tubes I could go to her and we would spend some time together and things would be easier. She calmed my nerves.

My other best friend at the time was Princess. She was my Collie. A retired showdog (think Lassie) who was always at my side. She and I went everywhere together. I never used a leash with her or anything. She just hung with me no matter where we were or how crowded it got. She was so cool!

BTW, Christie Lee was a 1963 Chevrolet Impala SS. Completely restored by me (with some help). She was my escape so often that I thought of her as my best friend. It's a funny thing to some people to put such value on inanimate objects. I get that. But when you have tremendous turmoil in your life and find something that eases the pain it happens. The good thing about placing value on something like a car is that you take good care of it. Respect it and it will respect you.

I found Chrisite Lee sitting in some biker guys barn one day. It was instant love. I bought her and began restoring her. It took a lot. Money and time. I even took night school classes to learn how to rebuild the engine from scratch. She got her name from my now ex-wife. She claimed from the start that I loved that car more than I loved her. Turns out, that was true. The name came from a Billy Joel song simply titled "Christie Lee". It is about a guy totally in love with the girl to the point where his life means nothing.

Anyway, I lost CL eventually. I was young and full of inexperienced romantic notions and feelings of 'proper ways of acting'. During a period of attempted reconciliation with the wife she was looking at buying a new car. New to her. It was a classic too. An amazing Olds 442 with all the trimmings. I made the mistake of driving CL to see this car and the owner decided immediately that he wouldn't make a deal unless we traded her in on the Olds. I resisted for weeks. But eventually I succomed to those feelings of having to fix a marriage (it was in my mind the only right way to act) and I made the deal.

That night I sat at the front room window and looked at the new wheels out there. It was a beautiful automobile. A person couldn't have wanted for better. But I realized that night that it was just a car. Not a friend. I sat into the night and cried. I knew I had made a mistake. Seems silly, doesn't it? But I was 22 and full of romantic notions. So I cried. I also knew that night for certain that the relationship was too broken to be fixed. I always tried to fix things that couldn't be fixed back then. I usually went too far before I realized it too. This was one of those times.

Withing 2 months I was gone. Christie Lee was gone. Princess had died of cancer and my first real relationship was done. Worse yet, it had left me jaded. For the first time I realized that life really can kick you in the ass and that if you don't take care of you, no one else really won't either. They might claim to want to but the truth is that no one really does. They will always take theirs first. If you keep giving they will keep taking.

Christie Lee ended up in the junkyard. Wrecked by the drunken redneck who got her before I could find her and get her back. I saw her there. It sucked! That Olds was run into by someone who fell asleep driving at 2 in the morning and demolished it. It was parked in front of the ex's house. It was only a year or so later.

I don't know why I've been thinking about this stuff recently. I still have a sorry romantic streak in me a mile wide. Maybe thats why. I intend to find another Christie Lee soon. I've been planning it for years. But none will be the same. Maybe she needs a new name instead? I guess I'll know when I find her. But when I do I won't make the mistake of losing her again.

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