Stinky Boy Floyd

I have a friend who is stinky. Not a personal hygiene thing. What I mean is that he is capable of the worst farts ever. I mean, think of the worst sliced cheese you can ever remember and multiply it a few times. Thats how this guy is. Every time. Ever since I've known him.

What made me think of this is that we were recently helping another friend move and he tried to kill some of us with his cheesey blasters. He and I were headed to the attic with something relatively heavy when he started giggling. That is the first warning you get with him. He giggles. So I just set the box down and walked back to the end of the hall. Naturally the stink followed us anyway. It was so rude smelling! Like he is rotten inside.

Then someone else came up and walked throught the hall. When they got to the stink spot they just stopped and started acting like they were gagging. Then he immediately turned to Stinky and gave him crap about it. He knew where it had come from without even asking. Stinky just giggled.

You see, we all know this guys stench too well. We also know that it will linger for a long time. Long enough to turn your stomach if you don't walk away. I think there is something wrong with his insides. He could be on an all water diet and still stink up the town.

I remember one time we went to the grocery store. We were in line talking to some other friends we had run into when he started giggling and walking away. He turned to me and said, "I think we should go now." I stepped forward and said, "Wait a second. I'm not done..." Thats when it hit me. The stink was unbelievable! Right in the front of the grocery store. He just kept on walking saying "We need to go now" and giggling.

The first time I experienced one of his cheesy blasters was a time when we were at this game room. It was a popular hangout in town (a looong time ago now). It was a crowded Friday night. He was playing some game and some of us were just hanging when he started giggling. Everyone looked at each other and started leaving. I was asking why they were leaving when it hit me. I couldn't believe it. I looked at him and said, "Did you do that!?!" He just giggled and kept playing the video game. I left the room. The whole place cleared out for about 10 minutes. All but him.

So he has been rotten for a very long time. The moving incident reminded me of how rotten. Stinky Boy Floyd is a good name for him I think. Pretty Boy Floyd was a notorious gangster back in the 30's. I think his type of gangster activity is almost as bad. He isn't killing anyone, but still......