Culture Shock

I just finished my first day at the new job. I think I am in culture shock. Everyone there is very positive. They are very laid back despite all the work required in starting up a new facility and they seem pretty OK to work with so far. I'm not used to that. I really liked where I was before this but the atmosphere was totally different. Not one positive vibe could be found in the place.

Sure, I seriously miss a couple people (Peachy & Spacebrain are all that's left there) but I don't miss the gloom and doom feeling.

There is a lot to do and the professionalism of my co-workers makes me feel very sure we will get it all done on schedule. I hope the second day is as smooth as the first.

Funny thing though, I am already sure that I will be leaving this job once everything is up and running well. Probably a 2 year stop is all it is. I feel like I won't be there any more than that. I'm not really sure why, but that is my first impression.

Who knows? Maybe I'll end up retiring from there. That's how my first impressions usually are anyway. So far from accurate.

It was a long day though. I first went and had to have a tetnus shot. Then they did a TB test. So on my left arm there are now 3 holes put there since last Thursday when they drew blood during my physical. They are making me into a pin cushion.

I did find myself wondering how my old friends were making out today. Peachy called me in the afternoon and we talkes for a whiole. (That was awesome. Thanks Peachy.) I guess I feel like I left them down a little.

So all in all, it was a good day. No feelings of wishing I wasn't there. No regrets. I guess today was a success. Hopefully the next one will be a success too. Isn't that all we can ever hope for anyway?

A New Type Of Monday

Very soon I'll be leaving for the new job. I am OK with starting at a new place. It really doesn't bother me too much. The part of missing old friends at the old place does bug me. I hope the new place isn't full of butt-heads.

The no blogging thing will be hard too. There will be some withdraw there for sure.

I hope everyone has a great day and I'll be checking in later tonight. Just for fun I'm posting a few more of my favorite dumb jokes. Yes, I love them even if they are goofy. I'm a little goofy too sometimes.




How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It

What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroids

What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese

What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk

What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite

What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck


Have a great day! :)

BS Friday Answer

OK, I'm back. The trip to Colonial Williamsburg was great! We toured Williamsburg, Jamestown and Yorktown while we there. Also the Williamsburg Winery, which was a highlight. It was a kick-ass trip. If anyone hasn't been to this area to suck up the amazing amount of American history available there, I totally recommend it. You won't be sorry.

As for the BS Friday story, it was false. A total lie. Sorry to disappoint those of you who consider me an angel and all, but I do lie sometimes. ;)

One truthful part of the story is that I do know a guy like that. He was even half-killed by a stripper's bodyguard at a bachelor party once. He touched the girl. Dumbass. But the truth is, I don't hang with someone I can't stand and just knowing he was in the same town gritted on me, so I never witnessed anything but that one incident.

Now for the bad news. I won't be blogging from work anymore. I read the info from the new job and it specifically states what can and can't be done with the work computers. Blogging and anything not work related are disallowed. I'll be an early morning and evening blogger for now. Hopefully I'll get into a good routine. I guess I was spoiled at the last job. I've made a lot of good blogger buds and I don't intend on losing any. Bear with me until I get used to the new hours and get into the new schedule.

OK, now it's time to see what you've all been up to while I was away.....

BS Friday (A Little Early)

Welcome to BS Friday. You know the drill, I’ll write it and you tell me if it’s real or just BS.

(I have to post this now because I don’t think I’m going to have the chance tomorrow. Plus, you get a longer time to think about it since I’ll be away until Sunday afternoon.)

This weeks post is called: Quit While You Are Behind

I am always amazed at the recuperative abilities of the human body. It really can heal itself quickly. One time in particular comes to mind.

I was out with friends one night and this guy we knew showed up that wasn’t really invited. You see he was a big mouth. He was also constantly wired somehow and never shut up. On top of that, he was just plain old obnoxious. No one invited him out because after a few brews, he was got completely out of control. Scary out of control.

This night just happened to be a bad time for that. We all met at a local bar before going to a strip club just over the state line. He caught us as we were finishing our last pre-trip beers. Naturally, he invited himself along.

When we got into the strip club we all got some liquid refreshment and squeezed up to the raised dance floor. Everything was going OK until big mouth got a few beers in him. Then he started with the stupid stuff. He would lean way over the brass barrier that kept us slobs from reaching the dancers and try to bite the closest one to him. He would lean way in when they came for his dollar and rub his nose on them as much as he could. He was screaming at them when they weren’t paying attention them. It was embarrassing and very irritating.

Finally one of the bouncers came over to him and told him in no uncertain terms that he had to stop acting like an ass or his was going to get kicked. He of course said he’d calm down. I think he hadn’t had too many beers yet. So when he started buying rounds of Tequila for everyone, I knew he was in trouble.

Soon he was back to asshole mode. We kept trying to get him to chill but it wasn’t working. Then he did it. A new dancer came on stage and came over near us and he went nuts. She leaned down near us and he reached out and grabbed both her boobs. Next thing you know, 3 bouncers had him in their grip and were dragging him out of the place. We followed, trying to tell these gorillas that we would just leave. They threw big mouth down and were totally willing to let us go, but of course he didn’t let things die down. The dumb ass jumped up and ran into one of the bouncer dudes, knocking him down. That was all it took and all 3 of them started whipping his ass good. It took us a good 5 minutes to get things stopped in which time the dork took a pretty good beating.

We took him home that night and a couple guys went inside to help clean him up and get him into bed. He really looked rough. I thought that he’d had to learn his lesson from that. I also thought I would have to worry about running into him anytime soon.

Just 2 nights later though, there he was back out on the town, acting like a jerk and he didn’t even seem to be feeling too rough. When he came over to talk to me his right eye had rainbow colors around it but that was all that was visible. After a few beers, the dork got into a fight with some guy. Apparently he didn’t appreciate Mr. Bigmouth hitting on his girl right in front of him. When the ruckus started, I just got up and left. I’ll bet he still hasn’t learned his lesson. If he’s still alive, that is.

I Think It's Bad Advertising

I went shopping with Nicci tonight and I noticed that there is a brand of clothes called "SAG Harbor". I saw signs and products everywhere. Sag Harbor was on the walls, on the windows and on the racks.

It seems like a bad idea to me. I don't think a woman would be very happy buying clothes with SAG written all over them.

I Love Goofy Jokes

A few of my latest favorite goofy jokes for your entertainment. You can't read these and stay in a bad mood. (Well, maybe not most of you.)

How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It

How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It

What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef

Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
` Right Where You Left Him

...and my favorite from this bunch...

What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko



Now admit it....
At least one of these made you smile!! Right?

An "I Love The 80's" Quote

The purpose of the Stealth Bomber was for guys to have another name to call their penis.

Gilbert Godfrey

Garbage Or Poop Fuel?

Tonight when I was having dinner at a local restaurant they brought me this huge bowl of Harvard Beets. Now, I like Harvard Beets, but not a bowl of about 200 of them. As I picked through the stack to get the best ones (which you can do when you have such a surplus) I started to imagine that the little beets were either screaming "Pick me! Pick me!", wanting to be eaten or scampering away whimpering so they weren't chosen.

You see, I imagined that some of them didn't want to be eaten and consequently become poop fuel. They would rather be garbage and maggot food.

The brave ones wanted to be eaten because they knew they were healthy for my body. They were born for this task and were eager to fulfill thier destiny no matter what. They were like the Marines. Hoo Rah!

The chicken ones were also born and raised for the job of making us healthy but they were too chicken to go through the whole process. That part about getting poked with a fork and then being chewed to mulch just wasn't something they wanted to try. They were like the draft dodgers.

Personally, I can understand either point of view.

Funny how something so simple as a large helping of food can become so much fun.

So, which way would you prefer to end up if you were a Harvard Beet? Garbage Or Poop Fuel?

Beer At Work

This sounds pretty good to me.


16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...

1. It’s an incentive to show up.
2. It leads to more honest communications.
3. It reduces complaints about low pay.
4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear.
5. It encourages car pooling.
6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don’t care.
7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.
8. It makes fellow employees look better.
9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.
11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
12. Employees work later since there’s no longer a need to relax at the bar.
13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.
14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.
15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
16. Sitting “Bare ass” on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross.

Today's The Day

So today is the day. My last day at this job. It feels a little weird. Maybe a little surreal. I'm not one to change jobs very often at all so moving on is an odd feeling.

I will miss a lot of the people here. Especially Peachy and Spacebrain. I look back on the 4.5 years I've spent here and realize that the place is a virtual rollercoaster ride of promise and catastrophe. There is no middle ground at all. This company should be a goldmine in this business, but it isn't. I guess I'm just tired of waiting for the right management that will help the place reach it's potential. There are places that already are on the right track. This one is full of empty promise. It never happens.

So starting sometime today I'm off to another adventure. I am looking forward to it. A little anxious, a little hopeful, a lot worried about the group of people. That's usually the hardest thing to get used to. Hopefully there are cool people there like there are here. I don't actually start the new job until Monday, but after today, I am free from this dead-end street. That part does feel great!

My blogging schedule will be unknown starting Monday. I am only sure that I will be online in the evenings. Mornings and work time are TBD. I am also away for the weekend so no one panic that I am not posting starting Friday morning. (As if.)

Ok, enough of that. Stay tuned for more fun.....

You Know What I Need?

I bummed this from Awna. It's funny to me.

Go to Google. Type in "(your name) needs".

Here are my results:

- Bob needs advice! So who's up for some YB Educatin?

- Dirty Bob needs loving home. I clean up nicely.

- Bob needs the hash of his PK. That should have stopped at 'Hash.'
- Bob Needs a New Cage! No comment.

- Bob needs a life. I had one once.....

- Bob needs to communicate with his supplier. My fix is long overdue.

- Bob needs to roar with pride. I did that once. It hurt a little.

- Bob needs friends. Would yew be my friend?

- Bob needs to realize that there are millions of people around the world that canbenefit from his experiences. Maybe they need to realize this first.

- Bob needs singing lessons. They wouldn't help.

- Bob needs to trust Alice. I will, as soon as I meet her.

- Bob needs to bend over, pick it up, and start walking with the rest of us. I'm not sure what to say to this one.

- Bob needs a maid. With a sexy French outfit.

- Bob needs to be yanked out of his pajamas. Now we're talkin!

- Bob needs to work on his muscle tone too. I have muscle tone?

- Bob needs help being romantic. Not true. I know how to rent porn.

- Bob needs support to learn to respond to adult direction in an age-appropriate way. Sounds too boring to me.

- Bob needs to move back to California from the east coast. Sounds good except I've never been there... yet!

- Bob needs Travis and his trailer. Then he and I can star in "Deliverance II".

- Bob needs your dough. Not cookie dough either!

- Bob needs a good spanking. I'm a baaad boy!

- Bob needs a little brain surgery. I'm like the Scarecrow.

**Lars, I fixed that last one. That just proves the point, eh?

Good Grief!

You are Charlie Brown!


Which Peanuts Character are You?
brought to you by Quizilla




Yeah, it figures this is who I'd be. At least he's a snazzy dresser.

My New Glasses

Well, it finally happened. I had to get glasses.






I tried to pick out the coolest, sexiest pair. How did I do?

Ya Know Whats Cool?

The last few days of your notice. I am outta here on Wednesday. I have little to no work to accomplish until then although I'll find something, I'm sure. Otherwise I'll be bored. But the feeling of impending freedom is great and I'm really loving it.

Right now I'm leaving early to see what the insurance company thinks of my ruined carpet, so today isn't even a full day. I can't see Wednesday being a full day either. I won't have the patience for it.

Yep, these last few days are going to be kick-ass.

Question Of The Morning

So, is everybody ready for another fun filled, action packed Monday morning? ;)

Quirky Is Cool

Have you ever known someone who you thought was full of quirky behavior? They would have habits and seemingly strange annoyances. Things that bugged them that may not bug someone else.

Everybody has their quirks. I sure do. I've noticed lately that I have developed quite a few of them. Just around the house I have many. For instance, I hate seeing footprints on the bathroom rugs. I'm not talking about dirty ones. Everyone hates those. I mean imprints of feet that you can clearly see in the rugs. If I see one, I rub it out. That really bugs me.

I also hate water rings. Water rings anywhere are totally unacceptable to me. I have coasters everywhere. Coasters are mandatory in my house. Which brings me to the next quirk; the placement of the coasters.

I have sets of them on each table. They are always nice and they go nicely where I've placed them. If one is sitting crooked or not spaced equally at the table corner, I have to straighten it out.

I also can't stand pictures that are not level. I've hated that all my life. I've straightened crooked pictures so much in my life that usually I don't even need a level anymore. Of course, I do go around my house periodically using a level to make sure the pictures are OK. Gotta be sure even though I do a good job just eyeballing them.

One other thing I'll confess to is that all the clocks in the house have to be in sync. I go around and set them all together and make sure they change the minute as close to one another as possible. I can't stand when clocks in the same house read different times.

Maybe this behavior sounds weird or even funny. Whichever way you view it, it is me. I don't even mind anyone knowing about it. If no one had quirks, then people wouldn't be all that interesting. We'd all be a bit more of a bore. So I say embrace your quirks. Enjoy them and don't let anyone tell you you're a nut. Remember, quirky is cool!

BS Friday Answer

OK, this one got a lot of attention. I’m really starting to like this. It’s fun.

Anyway, the story is true. All of it. It was and still is one of the few times when I’ve been in a situation that I had to turn down sex. She was fun and attractive, but her personality was too flaky. I was scared that me being her first would attach us for life. I couldn’t take the chance.

Summer, I think I’ve told you too many stories. Your comment cracked me up.

Dixie Belle, sorry but you missed again. Maybe you should be like George Costanza and start going against your instincts. Choose the opposite. Hey, it got him a job with the Yankees and a hot date. How can you go wrong?

Thanks to everyone who played along. Have a great weekend. I'll be lurking......

TV Dinners

Here's a confession; I love TV dinners. I always have. I have loved them since I was a kid. I know I know, the food is probably not good for me. The whole idea of pre-packaged stuff like that is kinda wrong. (Ask Terra.) But I do love them.

Naturally I'm getting to the problem. Bear with me.

Tonight I have a few hours to myself. These nights are rare and I totally enjoy them. So I decided to make myself a TV dinner. I got it out and was psyched for my delectable treat, almost feeling like I was on my own again. Of course, there was a catch, the stupid thing was one of those that you microwave for a few minutes, take something out, stir something else and then cook some more. WTF is up with all that?

That is so annoying. I just can't believe that in this modern world someone can't invent a TV dinner that you pop into the Wave and let it there until its done. No stirring, no cutting away part of the plastic, no poking holes over some other compartment, no removing something because it can't cook as long as the other food. It should just go in, you punch a few buttons and out it comes. No fuss, no muss. Yum!

From now on I'm reading the instructions before buying one. I refuse to get any more of those dinners that take all that effort. I believe that if you are going for convenience, it should always be convenient. Extra effort is for real cooking. Taking that extra time cuts into my free FO time and I won't stand for it any more.

So there. ;)

BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. I'll write it, you tell me if it's true or just good old BS. Today's post is called: YB the Sex Maniac

A few years ago I was volunteering at the local Humane Society (where I had once been a full time employee) and I met a girl there. She had been working there about a year and was rather attractive. A sexy redhead with pretty blue/green eyes.

She and I hit it off pretty well. We joked around and laughed and then one day she asked me out. I had never been asked out before so I was taken aback a little, but I liked it, so I said OK. Then she said, "Yeah, I've got the Prom coming up and I'd like you to go with me." The Prom? Now, she had told me she was 18 and had mentioned college a few times but I didn't know she was still in high school. (I was 23 at the time.) This was my first warning. I should have listened to my instincts. But of course, I didn't.

So I decided that we should get to know one another better before this big Prom date, just to be sure we were compatible. I knew that no matter what happened in life, you still remember your Senior Prom date forever. So we got together that weekend. I was in for a surprise.

We went out and then went home to watch a movie. About 10 minutes into the movie, she was getting very cuddly. Within half an hour we had gotten into a good make out session. It started getting pretty hot & heavy when she asked me if I had condoms because she didn't want to get pregnant her first time doing it.

***Cue bright red light flashing in my brain***

Talk about a passion killer. I had to back off after that question. When I did we ended up on separate sides of the couch talking about it. Apparently she was a virgin, had never had a serious boyfriend, wanted to experience "everything" as she put it and had chosen me because I was an "older guy and probably knew more stuff that those high school boys". Now I was scared.

It didn't go over very well but I managed to put her off that night. I didn't feel right about being with a virgin that I barely knew. I also know you never forget your first time doing it. Besides, what if she was one of those types who couldn't let go of their first lover? I could have a stalker teenager on my hands. I just didn't know her very well. All this went through my mind as we talked.

We agreed to go out a few more times before the Prom (and before you know what) to see how things would go. We had about 3 weeks to go. We did hang out a lot. The thing was, every time we were alone, she got more and more aggressive. She was sure we had to boink. I wasn't so sure. She even went so far as to manage to schedule an overnight stay on Prom night she was so sure. Then came the Prom.

We looked great, I have to say. We had matching outfits of almost all white with pink accents. Yeah, pink sounds funny for a guy, but the Tux really did look awesome. So did she. We mingled, danced and basically had a pretty good time. Anyone who has ever been to a Prom knows that probably over 50% of the dances are slow dances. Needless to say she had plenty of time to get me in the mood. She mentioned at one point that it's a sort of tradition to have sex after the Prom. I have to say that I was leaning that way.

When we got back to my place, we got comfortable and the action started. It was getting very hot, but I couldn't get that nagging notion out of my head about the ex-virgin teenage stalker. I really really tried, but it wouldn't go away. So after a while, I just had to back off. Needless to say this did not go over very well. There was a... well, shall we say tantrum and I just sat and took it. I knew by this time I was never going to be able to get past that roadblock in my head. She ended up calling her Mom that night and going home. I did see her at the Humane Society after that, but nothing ever happened again. After a while, we were OK friends again, but it never got to be what it was.

A few months after that she called me up out of the blue and asked if I'd come and pick her up. She was living with a guy who she was afraid of and she wanted someone to come get her and take her home to her mother's house. Apparently this guy was a bit on the violent side. Earlier that day he had tried to run her Mother over with his car. He had smashed up the car port and the kitchen door before she agreed to go back with him. Now he was away and she wanted to escape. Me, being the dork I can be, agreed and went over to get her. On the way to her Mom's place she started asking me if she could just stay with me that night and go home the next day. She thought it would be fun. "Besides, I'm not a virgin anymore" she said. Needless to say, I skipped out on the fun and took her home.

A few years after all this a friend of mine asked me one day if I knew who *so & so* was. I said sure, she and I went to the Prom a few years back, why? He said she was married to a guy he worked with and when he mentioned me she got all offended. She then proceeded to tell everyone that I was a pervert and she had to dump me because all I thought about was having sex with her. Neat.

In a way she was right. When we were together most of the time I was thinking about sex with her.... and how to avoid it. That's not really too much of a lie on her part, I guess. :)

Question Of The Day

Did ACME stock drop a lot when Wile E. Coyote stopped chasing the Road Runner?