So the weekend is over. It went way too fast. Mostly because I spent most of it trying to recover from the Friday morning mess. I didn't (nor will I) post all the gory details so don't give me crap about how it couldn't have been that bad. Whatta you know anyway? It was. Plus underneath all the stuff I allow people to actually see I tend to be a little emotional. As Daffy would say, "I bruise like a grape." So I held a grudge most of the weekend.
Have I ever mentioned how I can hold a grudge? Oh yeah, I sure can. Plus after a while I find that holding a grudge is kinda fun for me. It gets to the point where I find it fun to make a person uncomfortable.
It feels as high school as it sounds. But it is me.
So sometime around Sunday evening I decided to stop with the grudge and get over it. Just in time for the weekend to end. I won't forget it though. I'm not capable.
Relationships are funny things. I've noticed that whatever age you are a relationship has all the same basic requirements to be successful. You definitely react differently depending on age but the basics are still the same. They need mutual respect, genuine emotional bonds, honesty (not 100% but close to it), sharing, caring..... all the crap you read in a Hallmark card. But I think that respect is one of the keys. If the respect is injured or lost, everything is lost. It is also something that once injured, it is hard to recover.
So that's my Monday speech. A wasted weekend and a 'happy to be at work YB'. Thats what we have this morning around here. I am definitely going to blow off a day this week just for fun. Just me all alone with nothing I have to accomplish. Sounds good to me.
Recovery for me is hard. Most times I wish it wasn't. But sometimes I don't.
.... and sometimes you feel like a nut and.....
2 comments:
I tend to hold grudges too. I can get over them IF and WHEN the other person recognizes what they did and truly apologizes.... but it still takes me a long time.
Then again, I would say maybe I don't get over them, maybe I just push them way down deep and cover them up, but perhaps I never truly 'get over' it. It's possible that is where the "forgive but never forget" comes from?
I equate that sick feeling in my chest and stomach when I think about 'them' or 'it' as evidence that I'm still, indeed, holding the grudge.
Meritt, you have a talent for articulating things. The "sick feeling" is exactly what I have been experiencing all weekend. I think I may be better but I'm sure I won't forget. It was bad.
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