The Return Of BS Friday

Welcome back to BS Friday. Some of you may remember this event, some may not. The gist of it is simple; I'll write it and you tell me if it's true or just plain old BS. This week's post is called: Old Guy Dinner

Last night I went with my Uncle to his Coin Club dinner. It was actually the club's 'Summer Picnic' but if you know guys that are 70 years old and above (nope, not kidding) you know what a picnic is. It's a dinner at an old people's restaurant.

The restaurant was one of those that cater to older people. The kind that doesn't add any spices to the food even to cook it. Not even salt. The evening was pretty funny.

To start with I was supposed to show up for dinner at 6:00. I got there at 5:45 and had to find out where they were meeting. They had 'the special room' reserved. It was a room off the kitchen that you could reserve for stuff like this. When I got in there it looked like a museum full of stuff from the town. There were pics of the town from turn of the century, old artifacts like football championship trophys and there were even old banners from the high school dated from 1920 through 1933 hanging on the walls. It was cool! I felt like I was in the movie "It's A Wonderful Life". Everything looks like that style.

Once I got to the tables I found that everyone was already chowing down on salads and had drinks. I started laughing and asked whose clock had been screwed up. That got a smile from my Uncle and a few of the others.

The dinner consisted of chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy and some steamed veggies. The veggies tasted like warm water. The chicken was OK and the potatoes were bland. The gravy helped them. Until the first incident eliminated the gravy for me and my Uncle.

The incident involved this big fat guy sitting 2 seats down from me. He was really big. He had a super sized shirt on that still allowed his belly to hang out the bottom. I knew he would be a character when I noticed he had empty seats on either side of him so his natural inclination was to eat the salads set at those places too. Yep, he ate 3 salads before dinner. Laughing about it while little lettuce chunks stuck to his lips and chin. (No, I am not kidding.)

Then the real food came out. He grabbed the veggies, slammed a pile on his plate and started eating them right away while passing the bowl on. He did the same thing when the chicken came. The potatoes and gravy started at our end so we got some and passed them on. When they got to him he literally took half the bowl, dumped a huge amount of gravy on them and then proceeded to wipe the rim of the gravy container with his finger and lick it. He did that several times while the next guy waited for the gravy. "Don't want it to drip on the table" he said. I was stunned. The next guy just used the gravy anyway.

When it came back around later I passed.

This guy was amazing! He had 7-8 pieces of chicken, 3 huge piles of taters and gravy, complete with finger licking and gravy bowl wiping every time, a ton of veggies and maybe a gallon of raspberry ice tea. And then he complained when dessert was just one piece of pie. Lets not forget those 3 salads he started with. It was a sight to see.

Then during the meeting part he leaned way back on his chair with that big belly sticking out and he rubbed it while he talked. Like he was polishing it or something.

Later when we were standing outside talking he came out and flipped his hand at us and waddled past. I started laughing because not only did his gut hang out from under his shirt but his shorts were wedged pretty good up his behind too. They were those sort knit type of big old baggy shorts and the leg parts made it to his knees. But the center of the shorts couldn't cover the butt. They were long on the outside of his legs but short on the inside of his legs. My Uncle just watched him walk away. He turned to me and shook his head and said, "That guy is really a mess. Did you see him licking that gravy bowl? I just don't know sometimes."

Neither do I Uncle. Neither do I.