Auntie, Can Dorothy Come And Play?

Today I am in one of those OK moods. It's beautiful here, sunny and about 75. I just installed a fountain in Nicci's garden for her. It's neat. But I'm still a little blah. Mostly because I am travelling to Kansas starting tomorrow. It's work stuff so don't start scratching your head wondering "Why Kansas?" I'd prefer to miss this trip but since it is my project I guess I have no choice.

I love travelling on the company money. Usually. But the people going with and the stupid way the trip was planned have made it hard to get excited. Not to mention the fact that I'm not really sure what there will be to see in Kansas. I've never considered visiting there so I'm at a loss.

Any blog friends want to come and keep me company? Maybe I can find Dorothy and she can hook me up with some slippers for Nicci. I'll give that a shot. (By now she might be all grown up and a hottie. Fingers are crossed.)

So in an hour we are headed to lunch with the old people. One Aunt turned 78 this week so we get to hang out at the old people feedery with them to celebrate. The mom will be there too. Another blah idea.

All this blah won't get me down though. Don't get me wrong. I plan on exiting the moms presence asap and enjoying the sun as much as possible today. Then I plan on finding whatever fun (trouble) I can while I'm in the midwest. It's the anticipation of it all that bites.

So once again this week you won't be hearing from me. Not until maybe Thursday. If I get the chance I'll post something from Kansas but I doubt I can. Everyone have a great week. :)

Some Folks

We had kids day at work yesterday. It was like having a day off. There were about 120 kids running around work all day.

Kids day here is like nothing I've ever seen before. In the old days "Bring Your Kid To Work Day" was just that. People would bring a kid and they would just hang with the parent all day. Usually looking bored to death. Here it's way different.

They have the whole group of kids broken into age groups. Each group has several volunteers who lead them around on a pre-arranged schedule to the different departments. In those departments there are fun activities for the kids to do and the sneaky thing is that they learn stuff too. For example, in our Media dept. the kids saw how we make and bottle media products by doing some minor processing themselves. But what they used for product were the ingredients to home made root beer. They all made their own 500ml bottle of root beer. It was neat.

The band played outside for them during lunch and then the kids got to do karaoke. That was hilarious! One kid started out telling jokes before singing. His own stand-up routine. ha ha Basically it was a good day for everyone.

Even I learned something from it all. What I learned was that goofy looking people always have goofy looking kids. Have you ever noticed that? Pretty people can have pretty or ugly kids. Ugly people can have ugly or pretty kids. You never can tell. But goofy looking people have goofy looking kids. Plus, usually when they look goofy they act goofy.

Goofy people shouldn't breed. Thats what I learned.

Betcha all thought this post was going to be all rosey and out of character for me, eh? Please.

Anyway, it was a good day, I learned that some folks shouldn't breed, got to set up a date with my guitar student and got further behind with the real work. Gotta love that, right?

We've Had Worse Starts To The Year

Haven't we? If the Yanks have had worse starts I don't remember. It hasn't been recent so my memory is clouded. I know for a fact that I can't remember the last time the boys were in last place in the division.

At least we are only tied for last. We have that claim right now. At least until the next game. LOL

The list of walking wounded is long but the truth is that we still should be winning more. The errors have to stop. The pitching is sooo bad (other than Andy, which I find ironic). If the hitters slump a little we are screwed. Thats where we are right now.

I know it's all a temporary thing. I know we'll be Ok in the long run. But right now it's frustrating as hell. I'm almost afraid to watch. Almost. :)

The sux are coming into town tonight so this will be the time to get it going. Take 3 from them and we are right back in there. Lets hope the Yanks show up for the weekend.

Just Stopping By....

Not much time to chat today. I just got back (late last night) from a trip that took me to Philadelphia, Trenton NJ (LOL ???) and finally New York City. Got a lot of catching up to do at work.

I have pics but they are on the cell phone and mostly suck. I may post a few though. Eventually. The ones from the top of the Empire State building will look bad. Times Square in the middle of the night might look better. Gotta wait and see first.

Hope everyone has been great since I've been gone. :)

The Weekend's Here And........

....we'll have a can of beer! Anyone else remember that song? You'd have to be from my area to know what that is I guess.

Anyway, the weekend was really cool! The weather was awesome so I decided to break in the new grill and invited some friends over on Saturday night. I got one of those cute little stainless steel, mushroom looking grills for the deck. The one I had was too big and took up a lot of space. So I gave it away and got the little one.

Typical of me, I decided to invite people over Friday evening for Saturday. Ha ha. I even called one person at 3:00 Saturday to see if he wanted to come over. Arrival time around 5:00. lol Anyway, everyone came and we had a blast.

Also typical of us (Nicci especially) the menu grew to giant proportions. I had planned on a simple 'burgers and dogs' night. Nicci decided a salad would be good. Then some bar-b-qued chicken was added. (That was awesome! Mesquite and honey.) Then some rice was added. You know, to go with the chicken. Then cous-cous (for whatever reason). Salsa, dips and 3 different kinds of chips snuck in there somewhere. Naturally we had to have dessert. Ice cream is a must. Homemmade apple pie and strawberry pie.

For drinks, we had the usual sodas and all that. One of our friends makes his own wine so he brought 3 different kinds with him. Contrary to the title here, I don't remember any beer. Huh. Doesn't matter. There was so much stuff no one even cared.

The grill was interesting to use. If you've ever tried to cook on a new grill you know it can be interesting to figure out the settings for cooking. I tinkered with it all through the process and I'm happy to say..... I never got it right. I had flames flying, smoke everywhere, and just general mayhem during all the cooking. But the end result was that everything turned out great. I'm just not real sure how. :)

The wine was really good too. My friend made some strawberry chardonney (pardon if I misspell), some peach wine hot rodded with a higher alcohol content and some other kind that I forget what it was. But they were all good. Nicci made some excellent margaritas too. They are always in demand with my friends.

It was a good time.

So after a long day/night of visitors and partying, Sunday was pretty quiet. We had a friend stop by and have tea with Nicci. One of my friends stopped by (thanks to Nicci trying to play matchmaker the night before) at the same time. They are both single now and they seemed to hit it off. We'll see how that goes, if it does.

So my weekend was filled with good food, good friends and visitors to my house. That visitors thing is unusual so it was a nice change. We are winter hibernators I guess. But the thing is, when we start getting company, you know winter is over. That is a good thing. :)

Oh My!

I am on a high this morning. I usually am kinda goofy in the a.m. anyway but today is especially goofy. Several reasons come to mind, the biggest is the Yankees. Being located where I am I had been hearing so much bologna about the Yanks. These days not so much. LOL





Y'know? :)(Go ahead, click the link. It'll be Ok)

But another reason is that Spacebrain is visiting today. Business stuff but still, it will be good to see my old bud. He's bringing some visitors too. The hottie boss, the cool funny QC guy too. Those are people I like. He's also bringing the big dork that no one can stand where he works but that should be OK too. Since I don't work there anymore I don't have to worry about what I say to him.

Now don't get any ideas. I'll be nice. ;)

I wonder if that old 'foot-in-mouth disease will pop up again today? Hmmm... I'll let you know.

So I will be leaving early today too. Gotta love that! Gotta love a day that looks to be so cool. Hopefully it lives up to the hype (I have in my head).

Speechless

I really don't know what to say today.

Search for answers begins after Va. rampage (Link here)

I've been to that campus many times. I visit the area, the town in the Summer. I'm stunned.... again.

Fox Sports Thinks We're Dumb

On Saturday I decided to see what Baseball was on TV. After spending most of the day outside working in the yard (which was a blast, btw) I settled down to see what was up. My luck wasn't good. The only game on in my area in the late afternoon was on Fox. Worse yet, it was a Sux game. But it keeps getting worse all the time. Curtass was pitching too. Talk about a major letdown.

But I am a Baseball fanatic so I decided to suck it up and watch for a while. I was hoping the Sux would get whipped and Curtass would suck. No such luck. They were winning and the pitching was reasonable.

After about 3 innings I had had enough. I could have watched more but the suck-up announcers were really pissing me off. They talk about Curtass like he's some kind of god or something. He's a dork. I wonder if I cut my ankle and then played ball would I get someone's first born named for me? lol

The end came when Manny made a play in the outfield and I had to quit watching. The announcers went on and on about how he's such an improved outfielder and how he has practiced... yada yada yada. They think we are stupid. Manny can hit very well but any Baseball person knows he is still a liability in the field. He looks like he knows how to play because he's in left field in Fenway. He has the Green Monster behind him to back him up. The balls he used to miss or simply misplay now bounce off the wall. It's like having 2 outfielders in the same field.

He is basically playing major league baseball in a large softball field. No magic there. No improvement. He has a big, green helper. Thats all. And Fox wants us to buy it. But any baseball person who knows the game will tell you the truth about it. Just watch and see how much the guy DHs on the road. That'll tell you the truth.

One would think I'd learned my lesson and stopped watching Fox. The Yankee haters/ Sux lovers of baseball. Well, Yankee haters and almost anyone else besides the Yankees lovers anyway. But I can't help myself when it comes to Baseball. So when there is no other game I'll probably still watch. Next time I'll have the sound off and play with the PC. That's my only solution.

Whew, I've had that rant brewing since Saturday. I feel better now. :)

People Are Strange

People can be strange.

I have a friend that comes to visit (my office) every morning, has coffee, then makes up an excuse to leave as soon as the coffee is done. Every day I wonder why she bothers to think up excuses. I get it that she's here for coffee, some small talk and then hits the road. I don't even care. But every day it's the same thing. A lot of the time her excuse doesn't work out. This morning she had a meeting to get to. I walked by her office 10 minutes after the meeting started and she was sitting there. Ha ha. :) I find that strange.

A little later I was in front of the area I am responsible for when someone came up to me and asked if there was a new way to enter the rooms. (I just had some minor construction done to alter traffic flow.) I looked at her, looked at the doors that I had clearly marked with traffic flows, and smiled. Outwardly calm, I explained the new way to enter (which is just to open the door and walk in like the sign says) but inside I was laughing. It was simple and well marked. Then she says, "OK, I thought so. I did that yesterday." ??? I just shook my head as she walked away.

This morning has started out with some head scratching already. It looks to be a banner day.

My New Girlfriend

Yes, I have a new love in my life. Once again I have fallen for the charms of another. Her name is Mia and she is so adorable. Just look and tell me you could resist her. :)




Of course, it shouldn't be a surprise. I've been crushing on her Mom for years anyway.



So after we got the flirting out of our systems......


(I think we got away with it and Nicci never noticed.)



I got some quality time with my new girl.






As you can see, she has a thing for beards. :)

I love this last pic. Isn't that hat so sweet? I looked for one my size but....




Grace, Steve and Mia came to visit family this past weekend. We were so happy they could take a few hours to meet up with us. I have been wanting to meet them for a long time. It was an especially fun visit for me. They are as cool and genuine as I had expected.

Thanks a lot for visiting Grace, Steve & Mia. You made the weekend for me. :)

I M Betarded

Did you ever sometimes feel like you are a bit retarded? Like you may be mental? Not permanently. Just sometimes. I do a lot. Sometimes for good reason, sometimes not.

Like yesterday, I saw where the VOX Question of the Day comes from. A little thingy on the blog asked me if I wanted to answer the question. Suddenly it hit me that I was a dork. I had been wondering for weeks where people get those questions and right there it was, in my face, the whole time. Duh!

Today I will feel like a tard for good reason. Somehow where I work it has fallen on us project people to fill out the form for ordering big ticket items. It was (and should still be) an Accountants job. So I'm looking over this form and not only is it 12 pages long but some of the verbage is so foreign to me that my head was totally confused. The wording is in Accountantese and you need their translation dictionary just to get off the first page. Mostly I don't even know wtf it's asking me for. Incremental Calculations???Assumptions for the Profitability??? What language is that anyway? I know the words. I just don't know what they are asking for.

So after hours of research I did what any sensible Engineer would do. I call Accounting and set up a meeting/training session so I could get the translation. 10:00 today. At exactly 10:01 I'll be feeling retarded big time, I think. :)

When I told my boss I had set up the training he thanked me and said he was coming along. We'll be tards together.

You see? There are different level of tardness. Sometimes you are just a tard and sometimes you are forced into feeling like a tard. Either way the end result is Ok if you figure out how not to be a perma-tard. I'm gonna work toward that today. ;)

Coffeeless

Did you ever start the day off wrong and it just.... well, didn't matter? Scared ya, didn't I? Yeah, I'm like that.

I have had no coffee this morning yet. (I felt Meritt cringe just now.) Usually I have my coffee before leaving the house but not today.

So on the way to work I was totally spaced out. I don't remember much of the drive. Hardly remember talking about anything. It was totally mellow. It was cool. :)

But the coffee is brewing now. Almost done. Soon I'll be my usual obnoxious self. Funny how something simple like missing coffee can make the morning so different. It makes for some quiet times. Some mellow moods. Some really boring blog posts..... :)

Ahhh, the coffee pot has alarmed. Java is ready. brb.....

OK, No Prob

I made the mistake again. You know the one. The mistake of coming in to work with a plan for the day. You know how that works. No plan is ever allowed to progress like you want it too. By now you'd think I'd know better.

Yesterday I was off for very good reason. The holiday had me very busy. Yes, it was a holiday. Baseball season started. Thats a holiday. Anyway, I was off all day, got to see the Yankees win their opening day game, rested and relaxed. I came in with a clear head today and a plan, all ready to go.

First thing when I got to work I found that my email system wasn't working. Turns out we switched to a new system. OK, no prob. I started to go through the instructions on how to set it up. Then I found that my windows program doesn't even have the means to do the changeover. So no email.

Then the boss calls and asks, "Did you get that email about going to see the new equipment?"

Uhmmm, nope. :)

He goes on to explain that it was a last minute thing and that the group was leaving to see the new machine in 15 minutes. OK, no prob (again). I got ready, slammed down my coffee and joined up with the group and headed out.

On the way down the highway my phone rings. Twice. The first time was cool. It was Lisa missing me. Sweet, isn't she? The next was a guy who needed to come and visit today. He is selling some equipment that we need and today is the best time for him to come by. OK, no prob (again & again). I set up a late afternoon meeting with him.

So we go and check out the big machine. We are all impressed. The sales guy was a Regis Philbin twin and that was very funny to me. Then he buys us lunch at a Chinese place. Regis is all, "This is the best place ever! I always go here when I visit the area!" I expected something spectacular. It was mediocre. Made me wonder what was up with old Regis here. He travels the world over and this little Chinese place in the local strip mall is the "Best place ever!"? Huh?

So I head back and arrive just in time to catch some time with Lisa before sales guy arrives. He is cool and his equipment is neato. We agree to chat further on that project and now he's gone.

So here I am almost done with the day. Nothing happened that I had planned. But you know what? Its OK, no prob. The day was pretty darn good. I never got my email working. But I had fun and got stuff accomplished. I met Regis' twin. Had a free (mediocre) Chinese lunch. Got the new project going. Travelled a bit in the bright sun. Time flew by.

It's been a pretty good day. They all should be so OK.

Yesterday

Yesterday was bliss. I had the best day in a long time. No phones, no meetings, no annoyances of any kind. I stayed home, kept to myself, did whatever I felt like and watched the Yankees win their Opening Day game. What could be better?

OK, being in Yankee Stadium would have been better but you get what I'm saying.

I was pleasantly surprised at the game. Not with the 3 errors (Geez!) but with the fact that Pavano pitched reasonably well and didn't get hurt. I expect his arm to fall off when he pitches or something, as fragile as he's been. But so far so good.

Hey, one game in a row is a record for him in recent history. Gimme a break.

Anyway, The Yanks started out well. The day was awesome. Today is hectic but nothing bad. Hope everyone else has it as well today.

I'm A Bastard

I've come to the conclusion that I am really a bastard child. I know I'm not really but what I mean by that is that although I do know who my parents are, neither of them taught me anything other than what not to do or what not to be. So in essence, I grew up all by myself.

I came to this conclusion recently after having a log conversation with Nicci about my mother. Nicci has done everything possible to be friendly and nice with the woman and recently for no real reason she has started attacking her. My mom is one of those people who stirs up shit constantly. If things are going well, she can't stand it. So now shes inventiing things to be annoyed at Nicci for that don't really exist. The problem there is that Nicci has less patience than I do with stuff like that. In her words, "To hell with her then. I've done what I could do."

The basic conclusion to our recent conversation was that I honestly won't feel anything when she finally kicks off. I've said it before and after going through all the ifs/ands/buts of it I realize that I'd prefer she kicks it soon. I don't want to be bothered later. Plus, if she does go soon then I get 3 paid days off work. Nothing like free days off work to help you appreciate someone. At least she has that going for her. :)

I felt nothing when my dad died. Only happy that they let me out of school for a few days without getting into trouble. My mom will give the same benefit. Not that I'm wishing it on her. Just that I won't care a bit when it happens.

It's kinda been a strange ride growing up and then dealing with the aftermath, getting to where I am. My father had serious problems with drinking. He died in a fire when I was in 10th grade. I didn't really know him anyway since he was not around after I was maybe 8-9 years old. I do remember that when he was sober he was a cool guy. He was a talented artist and a kid at heart. I do remember all that.

My mother, well, shes a freak. Not someone I'd care to ever know. If it weren't for my Aunts and Uncle I'd probably never see her. Shes a strange person who just can't see the world like it is. Shes in some fantasy reality where no one else lives. She just thinks we do.

I really have no idea how I've gotten to where I am today. I guess living on my own since I was 13 and totally ignoring the teachings of the weirdos who bred and created me was a good thing. They are prime examples of why some people should not be allowed to breed. Anyone can make a baby. Few can care for it properly.

My mother is also a prime example of how you can get stuck with some relation that you would never, ever want to know otherwise. Just because you are related doesn't obligate you to hang with someone. Not if they suck.

I'm glad Nicci has seen first hand what I warned her about when it comes to my family. I didn't have to try to convince her. She has been convinced by the mothers stupidity all on her own.

There is some kind of small comfort in feeling like I am a bastard child. It's liberating somehow. Wish I had thought about it like this earlier in life.

Of course, sometimes I could be referred to as a bastard, but at times like that there is a different meaning to the word. :)

Interruptions, Interruptions!

I hate interruptions too. When I am zoned and one with the universe I don't want to be bothered.

I get this, but more importantly..................







................. look at the way her boobs are drawn. Yikes! :)

My New Philosophy

The other day I came to this conclusion.

I want to live my next life backwards;
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

The Greatest Holiday Of The Year

Next Monday is the greatest holiday of the year. Is everybody ready for it? I am. I'll tell you where I'll be and what I'll be doing that day too. I'll be home, hanging in front of the big screen, watching the Yankees on ESPN HD.

Opening day is next Monday in Yankee Stadium. Its Opening Day elsewhere too but they don't count. I never work on Baseball Opening Day. (Not on my Birthday either but thats a different thing.) This year is sweet because the game is actually on ESPN, not another stunky network. Sometimes I don't get to see the Yanks so I am really happy. Its the next best thing to being there I guess.

But what could be better than being in Yankee Stadium on Opening Day?

Well, being there as they win the Series would be better, but you get my meaning. :)

So I am already psyched for next week. The pitching will be better this year and thats all we lacked last year. It should end up being a kick ass Summer.

The long, long off season is almost over. Life is good again. Anyone else as wired about it as I am? Other than you Karen. I already know the answer to that question. :)

Conference Call Education

I had to sit in on a conference call today. It was for a project that we are working on for a big time, world-wide agency. (I can't say which one but people in this business all know them.) I was impressed at the list and level of people I was 'hanging' with during this call. The big cheeses, Scientists, Government people. It was impressive. At least it would be if you are not me that is. :)

Personally, I think I should be impressed. I think I should feel privileged to be a part of such a huge project. But mostly what I learned at this conference call was that big time scientists sure like to hear themselves talk. (The other thing I learned was that my boss breathes really hard! He is noisy!) Worse yet, the government cheeses really like to talk too. Our people liked to hear themselves talk away at the same time. It was a lot of talk, talk, talk. I sat there wondering when they would get to my part in the process.

All I cared about was what I needed to do to make sure our end was well covered. I didn't understand much of the science stuff anyway. It was Ok to a point but I'm an equipment guy, not a chemist, a scientist nor a blow hard who likes to hear himself say impossibly big words and all that.

My boss kept saying "When are they going to get to our part?" We had the same thoughts. Even though he understands all the science, he really wanted to know what our part was too.

Then the call was over and our part was never discussed. It was in the minutes to be discussed but it never happened. I felt so lost. Like a floating piece of debris in the ocean. Not needed, not cared for. Just lost.

Yeah, right. :)

So now we will be expected to understand the process, react in milli-seconds when it's time to do our part, and get the stuff made instantaneously without flaw when the time comes to make it. All this without any direction or planning. Impossible?

Piece of cake. :P

Anyway, what have we learned from all this my friends? Nothing much I guess. Mostly that I don't care for conference calls, big time scientists, govt. officials nor heavy breathers. But we all knew that already without having me waste 1.5 hours of my life in a lame conference call. I could have been doing something much more productive like underwater basket weaving or polishing my dog or..................... blogging?

Another Silly Smile

I can't help it:

A guy goes into his new psychiatrists office for his first visit. He is wearing only underwear made from saran wrap. The psychiatrist looks up and says, "Well, I can see your nuts."

Ha ha.

Is anyone else leaving for a sushi buffet lunch right now like I am? Yeah, sorry for you. :P I'll let you know how great it was later.