Foot In Mouth Disease - Take 972

I know it's been a while since I last let my foot in mouth disease get the better of me. Yesterday it surfaced several times when I was least expecting it.

As some of you may remember, Nicci bought a car back in September that I do not like. I didn't want it and it has caused some contention since. The fact that she regrets buying it doesn't help much when I have to take care of service for the thing. That's what happened yesterday.

I was walking through the showroom toward the service window to pick up the bastard automobile when I heard someone calling my name. I pretended to not hear because I knew it was the sales guy that we had dealt with. But he persisted and ran me down to say "Hi!" Lucky me. He then proceeds to introduce me to someone who is looking at the same model car I bought. I politely reminded him that I didn't but it, Nicci did. I hoped he would remember that I was almost irate when he was doing the sale with Nicci that day. No such luck.

He then asks me to recommend the car to this new potential buyer. I just stared at him wondering what freakin planet he was from. I told him that idea wasn't a good one. He persisted. This is how the conversation went (as best I can recall):

(Keep in mind this is a true 'running' dialog. I never stopped walking toward the service window.)

Sales: Just tell these fine people how much you like the car.
YB: I'm in kind of a hurry.
Sales: But for just a second. We like to have satisfied customers tell new customers how happy they are with us and their new cars.
YB: Well then you need to find someone else. I'm running late.
Sales: But the car is awesome right? And the service?
YB: Yes, the service is awesome. (It really is btw.)
Sales: Now tell them about the car.
YB: (getting irritated) I am not the person for this.
Sales: C'mon, just a minute and I'll let you go.
YB: You should just let me go now. Or do you not remember when Nicci bought the thing?
Sales: (Laughing) Yeah but you've driven it for a while now. So about the car.....
YB: (interrupting him) Look, I told you last year I didn't want the thing. I still don't want it. As a matter of fact I hate the stupid piece of crap. On top of that I hate all of them. Even more than that, I hate everyone who has one and loves it. Now I'm starting to hate this dealership.
Sales: stunned silence
YB: How's that for a recommendation? I AM LATE! (walking away) Oh, and have a nice day.
Potential buyers: chuckles behind their hands

I have no idea how he saved that sale. I don't even care. But one thing I do know is this; I had such a good laugh all the way home that I didn't even mind driving that stupid car for once. :)