Sunday, April 16, 2006

Garden Pics

As promised, here are some pics of the new garden, still in progress.


The first two are to show how bare the place was. Nicci used the hoses to mark out where she wanted to make the garden borders.




Here's a view of the current garden from approximately the same location as the above.


A longer view.



A view from the bottom of the yard. The cute little fenced area is Nicci's first attempt at growing some veggies. There are carrots (yum!), tomatoes (yuck!), cucumbers, herbs and some other things. I'm sure she'll do fine. She seems to be able to grow anything.



The new arbor. She wanted it simple and rustic. On the sides are clematis and in the back is a grape vine. One it's all grown the whole thing will be covered in flowers and grapes. When we start getting lots of grapes, I'll be making my own wine. See the little tiny Japanese red maple tree on the right? We got that because I love those. They are great.



The path. (Don't tell Nicci she was in the pic.) I wanted all flagstone but we can't afford that right now. There is thyme planted between the stones. Once it grows there won't be any mulch showing. Then it will be nice to walk on in bare feet, right Meritt? (I said that for you.) BTW, the bird bath is solar powered. It has a little fountain in the center.



The front of the house. That is a weeping cherry tree. Aren't the pansies cool? They will eventually cover all the ground there. I put that neat copper mailbox there so the mailman would stop tracking dirt and mud onto the porch. We painted the porch and keep it nice so we can walk out there any time without getting crap on our feet. (Socks in my case.)



Side view of the garden and path leading to the firepit. That block patio thing in front of the pit was a pain in the butt to get right! The tree on the left is a weeping willow.



Side view toward the arbor. No it's not an illusion, that one side twisted on me. The posts were perfectly straight when they went in. The one on the left front is twisted and now bent out. It makes it look funny. I started to go for a replacement but Nicci refused. She wants it to look rustic. I guess it will when the wood gets gray and old looking. The little tree in the far corner (hard to see) is an apple tree. Red delicious. Yum!



I just added this for fun. These are a couple of my regular friends that show up. This is a pic. taken out of my kitchen window. The birds come at very regular times during the day. There are many different colors too. I added two more feeders onto the arbor. My birdie friends appreciated it. :)


So there is the garden. Still a work in progress but much progress has been made. Mostly with me complaing and crying the whole time but I have done my part.

Just think, this is only half the yard! Suddenly I am tired.

** For those who don't already know this, click on the pics and they get bigger. Then pause your mouse cursor at the bottom right of the pic for a second and click the orange and blue box to make them even bigger.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Anti-BS Friday

Did you ever wonder what would happen if you were honest all the time? I mean, if everyone in the world just said what they thought and never BS'd anyone? No hiding, no games, obvious intentions, truth to questions, just total honesty. Would the world suck or would it be a much better place?

There is this thing called 'the gray area' where most people spend their time. Their minds, emotions and what they say mostly come from the gray area. Mostly I think it's because people don't like to offend others or hurt someones feelings unnecessarily or intentionally. So they fudge their words to make things easier for others to swallow. I get that. I do that. Almost exclusively.

Today I am wondering what it would be like if no one did that. I am wondering if we would actually have friends or loved ones if we were totally honest all the time. I have my doubts. So lets try a little experiment, shall we? What say we do this: Ask me anything you want to. I will answer 100% truthfully. I will not fudge, I won't waffle & I won't go near 'the gray area'. I will keep the question lines open until this evening since I have friends on the west coast (and I never really remember what time it is in Australia).

Be careful what you ask, just in case you really don't want me to answer. This is a good way to lose friends, I think. But wtf? I have almost had the shits of blogging anyway. There's my first honest statement today.

This could make for some interesting times ahead. Of course the saying "May You Live in Interesting Times" is not really a blessing is it? It is also a curse.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Secret Code?

I just got this email. If someone can decipher it, I'd appreciate it. If it's a treasure map and it works out, I'll split it with you. :)



trout... formulation at constitution as bluegrass to was with! leggy bundle fight, generosity but illumination and hurricane

turn-off the corner bottom the as vortex augment, to that potato predilection to Xmas of sorely the
cleaning refinery tortuous lurid
tract gremlin and natural resources busboy the an singsong hair spray Kleenex intramural? pie chart goddamn attic

American Idol

Bucky was elimated last night. No big surprise there. I had assumed like most people that Ace would be. Oh well.

The show was kinda cool since the whole bottom 3 got to sing this time. I think it would be better if they got to sing something different though. They sang the same song as the previous evening.

I changed the Poll (on the left sidebar) to an American Idol voting Poll. This way we can track who we think will or should be eliminated each week. Have at it and remember, vote early and vote often. :)

I Just Get Tired

Is it possible to block someone from your blog?

For real. Block.

No more visits for you, 1 year!

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Question Of The Day

I was just wondering something; Do people that write to those advice columnists and bloggers etc... do they wait for the advice before trying to work out their problem?

For instance, when someone asks, "Should I call him back?" do they wait for the advice before calling? Seems to me like that wouldn't be a very efficient system. The answer could take weeks. Then what?

I'm A Dope Today

I just can't seem to understand much today. Peachy has had to educate me on what a bull dyke is (see Betty's blog for that one), on who Erma Bombeck is and what fontina cheese is. I am starting off the day just right. (Sarcasm intended.)

I wonder what this day will bring? Usually when it starts this way great and wondrous miracles happen all around me. But of course, I won't even notice.

Wish me luck.










More coffee!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

AI Play By Play

I am writing this play by play as I watch American Idol. True reactions as I see the show. Somehow I think I’ll end up offended. Queen is one of the icons of Rock. I hate bastardizations of true rockers.


Bucky was first. He destroyed Fat Bottom Girls. It sucked! I played that in a band once and we were better than that. But we stunk! WTF is wrong with Randy and Paula, telling him it was good. Again, Simon is the only voice of reason.

Ace is such a schmoozer. "WithFreddy Mercury you don't just hear it you feel it." Please, go kiss someone else's butt. We Will Rock You is a great song. Ace made me laugh. WTF was that mess with the 3rd verse? He was worse than Bucky. Dork. Randy was right for a change. Paula, please shut up. Again Simon is right on: "A complete and utter mess! I really, really hated that!" I love Simon.

Kellie is crazy trying Bohemian Rhapsody. Hey, did she borrow Freddie's clothes? Actually... respectable. She was better than the first 2 by far. Hmmm. Good call Randy. It was OK. Paula and Randy liked it too. It wasn't bad. The problem I have is when someone puts a country sound to a true rock song. OK Kellie, passable.

Chris is next. Innuendo. He is trying to be Freddy. It's OK so far but not great. Why not do something that really rocks Chris? You were my one hope. Just OK with me. Randy is crazy. Paula loved it I guess, whatever it was she said. Simon and I are on the same page. Chris could have rocked the joint. Too bad.

Katherine coming up. Who Wants To Live Forever. I remember Highlander. Great flick. Kat can sing but this is boring. Just another AI ballad. That part reminded me of a Sheena Easton song. Boring is my rating. Nice vocals but boring. Randy- I agree. Decent job. Paula - Does she ever find anything bad? Simon - Praise? Wow. I guess he likes ballads.

Elliot is next. Somebody To Love. He never heard the song before? Dork! Hoo boy! This bites! Big mistake. That boy has no soul. Freddy, I hope you aren't listening. P.U. stink. Ok Randy, what's up? Huh? Paula, Huh? Simon, you too? I hated it. Good thing I'm not a judge.

Taylor with A Crazy Little Thing Called Love. Dope missed the mike stand. Not the best voice for Queen but he is entertaining. Cool. I liked that one. Taylor is fun! Randy, good call. He liked it. Paula, she liked it too. Simon, "Are you drunk?" Sorry Simon, I don't agree this time.

Next is Paris. This could be great or horrible. The Show Must Go On. She can sing. This isn't showing her talent off enough. It is good. Now we're getting there. Alright! Great ending. Sweet! Randy, liked it. Paula, again with the BS. I just can't figure her out sometimes. What planet is she on? Simon, he thought it was weird.

Ace was the worst tonight. I think he is a goner.

All this did was make me miss Freddie Mercury all over again. RIP Freddie.

Things That Make Me Smile

I was driving toward work this morning when I noticed a beautiful Hawk sitting on the top of a pole along the highway. That Hawk (or Falcon, I'm not too sure which) is almost always there in the same spot every morning. It made me smile. I like seeing him and knowing I'll be seeing him the next day too.

This started me thinking about the simple things in life that continually make me smile. We all have them; little things that give us a warm fuzzy. We would miss them if they disappeared. I started to list in my mind some of the things I always get happy about when I see or experience them. Here are some:

Pepsi Fizz - I love to dump my Pepsi (especially cherry) very fast over the ice so I can suck down all the fizz that pops up. I love that. If they could bottle just the fizz I would have it continually.

Seeing "A Charlie Brown Christmas" on television - I love to watch it every year. I have the DVD but there is something about watching it along with millions of other people that I prefer.

Hearing Olivia Newton John sing "I Honestly Love You" - Yeah, corny but that song always gets me. I have the 45 still and sometimes I just have to hear it. It always makes me misty eyed.

Peachy saying "Good morning" - She makes my morning start better. Peachy has an infectious personality. Trust me.

The first sip of Coffee - that first sip in the morning just warms the soul. Ummmm!

Emails from friends - I love to open the email inbox and see the big, bold writing that says someone out there was thinking about me.

Yankee games televised - in this area there aren't mane Yankee games televised. When they are, I am in heaven.

When my Uncle just pops in for a visit - He has a habit of just showing up. He did that on Sunday afternoon. Just wanted to see "If we were doing the yard the right way" he said. I love that.

The memory of my first kiss - more corny stuff but when I need a smile I think about that day. It was the most nervous I ever have been plus it took me so long to get the nerve. Makes me think of "The Wonder Years" when Kevin couldn't get the nerve to kiss Winnie.

OK, enough of that. I reread that and it's so goofy. Oh well. It's the mood I'm in today though so there it is.

So what are the simple things in life that make you smile?

Monday, April 10, 2006

Gardener Extraordinaire

Once again I have been doing the most exasperating job in the world; building stuff for Nicci's new garden. Some of you may remember the last garden she made at our previous home. Well, just think of it, we now have much much more yard to work with. Much much more! This whole past weekend was spent putting up a new arbor, building paths, planting trees, making a vegetable garden, all that stuff. This will be a spectacular garden when it is in full bloom. It is huge and we only arranged half the yard.

I'm a little stiff, a little worn out and a lot sunburned. Peachy laughed at how red I got.

I will have before and after pictures. The yard had nothing when we moved in. It didn't even have a tree. It now has 7 trees. It was all grass but now it's going to be a huge colorfest. The best part? My job is pretty much finished. I try to get it all done asap so that I can relax and enjoy life. Nicci enjoys life when she is in the garden so that works for both of us.

I have to give her props though. She has a plan and it evolves as we work on it but in the end it is awesome. I really can't wait for later in the Summer when it's all healthy and in bloom. It will be nice.

So there is my domestic update for the month. I hope it wasn't too boring. :)

Loopholes Are Our Friends

I say that facetiously. There is a loophole in the UK method of registering their vehicles that allow people to use any address they want. So they are registering them to businesses and PO boxes and mass-mailing places. That way they can speed, go through red lights even when there is a red light camera and basically drive with no fear of breaking any traffic laws. They know the cops can't find their real addresses.

Quote: "The scam involves offenders registering their cars at one of a network of 'mass-mailing' addresses used legitimately by businesses instead of at their own homes. When the driver triggers a camera, the penalty notice is sent to the mass-mailing address. Police seeking the motorist find only a shopfront where nobody lives." (Read the story here.)

Now, tell me the UK authorities couldn't see that one coming. If you don't have to prove your residency, you can list any address at all. I would think they'd know better. I wonder if they can catch the scammers when they attempt to renew their registration? I'll bet they keep a database somewhere that alerts them when one of the offenders comes in.

No matter. It still seems like a strange loophole to me.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Grrrrrr!!!

Have you ever had plans that you were really really really looking forward to fall through at the very last second possible?




I mean the last possible second and something totally unexpected shows it's ugly head and ten days of planning flies out the window.




Welcome to my Friday night. Yep, that has put me into a nice foul mood tonight. Foul, stinky and grrrr!!!



Anyone care to make a bet on the next time I let this happen to me?




Do not hold your breath.






Thank god for good wine.....

Thursday, April 06, 2006

What Do Women Want?

I have decided that I know little to nothing about women. I used to think i knew at least a little but now I'm sure I don't. So I am asking all the ladies out there to tell me just what women want. What does it take to make them happy? How come you aren't consistant?

Here are a couple of examples:

1. My best friend in the world is a woman. She and I have been close for nearly 20 years. We have been through thick-n-thin together. Pretty much everything life can throw at a person, we have shared and gotten through it. There has never been anything but friendship between us. Not an inkling of sexual tension, nothing. Nicci knew this before we even had our first date. Back then she thought it was so cool that my best bud was a woman. But as time goes on she resents it more and more. She has recently made it known that she doesn't want me to hang with her anymore. It's to the point where I hardly ever see my friend. We stay in touch but it's been hard. I can't keep that up long. WTF?

2. Nicci and I went to Williamsburg this past weekend. Eventually we had a kick ass time but for a good part of the drive down there all I heard was how she didn't really want to go. Now, we had planned this thing 2 weeks in advance. She even badgered me until I made and confirmed reservations. But on the travel day suddenly the 'truth is revealed?' WTF?

I could post many more examples of my confusing times with women lately. Not just with Nicci. (Those are the most easily explained right now.) But when I think about it this is a pattern I have seen for a long time. I think I'm just getting a little tired of it. So help me out here ladies. Tell me your secrets. Let me know what it takes to keep in your good graces. All I want is to have fun and live consistantly. Is that too much to ask?

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Bored Post

What do you do when you are bored and uninspired? Quizzes & Tests, of course!

A test to see how you pick the people you are attracted too. My results were predictable. :)

The How You Pick Test


Cute, X-factor Twigs

You scored 61% Skinniness, 52% Curviness, 76% Exoticness, and 66% Prettiness!

Wow, this is a difficult one. You're either very easy to please (happy with women exhbiting any of these three characteristics), or hard to please (looking for women with all of these characteristics). In short, you looking for girls with cute, boyish figures, pretty, fresh faces, and a certain sexy, exotic X-factor. Very Interesting.




My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 65% on Skinniness

You scored higher than 30% on Curviness

You scored higher than 87% on Exoticness

You scored higher than 7% on Prettiness


If you liked my test, send it to your friends!
The How You Pick Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=9469428947309440099









Televangelist
You are 42% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 100% Arrogant.
As the Lord as my witness, I swear upon the good book that you are indeed the TELEVANGELIST! Characterized by extreme arrogance, self-assurance, and extroversion, you would make a very charismatic leader (or a very despotic one). On top of that, you are also more intuitive than rational, predisposing you to a more spiritual or emotional outlook on life. Thus, you are thoroughly irrational. You also tend to be rather gentle and considerate of others' feelings. Clearly, you would make the perfect televangelist. You could easily fleece people of their money and their dignity like so many sheep. Emotional, extroverted, arrogant, and gentle, you annoy the hell out of people who have to listen to the feel-good, intuitive shit spewing from your mouth. Not only that, but people may look down on you as a self-centered asshat. So while you are gentle and genuinely care about others, it is quite clear that you still care about yourself MORE. Why is your personality flawed? Because you are too damned extroverted, emotional, and arrogant. So preach your irrational message, brotha-man! I assure you, no one will be listening. Except for a few bums. But they just want you to feed them crackers and wine.


To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.


Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Spiteful Loner.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Starving Artist, and the Robot.

*

*

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.


The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.








My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:



















free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 20% on Rationality





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 60% on Extroversion





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 47% on Brutality





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 98% on Arrogance
Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Sorry, I Couldn't Help It...

...this one just cracks me up! It had to be posted. :)


Great Start + Foot In Mouth (Again)

As you can see by the Yankee update box the season started off very nicely. A 15-2 ass-whoopin is always a sweet game no matter what time of year.

Yesterday was a very cool day. I got to hang out with my best friend Lisa most of the day. That's always a plus. I also got to see parts of 6 different Baseball games. I brought in the new season in style.

I also managed to get my lazy butt to Game Stop to buy Civilization IV. Well, truthfully Lisa 'encouraged' me to just get it since we were there anyway. So far it's pretty interesting. There is so much new stuff to learn when you try a new game. Especially one as involved as Civilization.

I did get her to model some nice clothes for me. She didn't like anything though. But she has never broken down and modeled Victoria's Secret outfits yet. 18 years and counting that I have offered my standard "You model it and I'll buy it" deal. It never works. Actually, it did work one time but never with Lisa.

So I went to 7-11 to get lottery tickets later. As I was waiting in line this older lady with fish lips came and got right in front of me in line. I just looked at her funny, not saying anything. Then she looked back and waved me forward impatiently, like it was a problem for her that I was there first. While my tickets were being printed another older lady came and started talking with the first one. By the time I was leaving they were both standing right in the door. They were not interested in moving either. I waited a little while and then the guy who was behind me in line was waiting for them to move. Finally they must have noticed we wanted to exit (duh!) so they slowly went out the door. As I squeezed by them one said to the other "I almost won two and a half million last week..." Suddenly out of my mouth pops, "Someone should smack you in the head two and a half million times!"

Silence. Except for the guy behind me laughing out loud. I just walked away and went home. I still can not predict when and where that old foot-in-mouth-disease will pop up.

All in all, a very nice day off. A very nice way to start the Baseball season. :)

Monday, April 03, 2006

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!!!

Finally... finally... finally it's here... Baseball opening day. Yeah, so there was one game last night. Opening day for the rest of the league is today and most importantly, the first game for the Yanks is tonight.

Is everyone as psyched as I am? Winter gets longer every year. Is everyone off work to celebrate too? I am. I don't work on my birthday and I try hard to be off on opening day. I can't say I've managed it every year but this year I have.

So everyone have a hot dog for lunch with an apple pie chaser. Baseball is back. (You can skip the Chevrolet thing if you want.) Tonight the Yankees start their latest championship run. I'm ready. Can you tell? :)

Friday, March 31, 2006

BS Friday Answer

I have to post this tonight. I will be traveling for the rest of the weekend.

The BS Friday story was true this week. Peachy was the only commenter. I think I'll stop doing BS Friday. It seems to have run its course. Sorry if you missed it this week. I deleted it.

Everyone have a great weekend and remember, 2 more days until the greatest day of the year... Baseball Season!

My English Teacher(s) Would Be Proud

An annoying to do quiz, but fun because I am bored right now.









Advanced
You scored 85% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 73% Expert!
You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!


For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.








My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:



















free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 8% on Beginner





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 36% on Intermediate





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 37% on Advanced





free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 25% on Expert
Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Question Of The Day

Tease!!!

What do you think of a girl who models her sexy new lip gloss and keeps showing off her kissy lips for you but won't give you a smootch!?! Just ask Peachy since she is teasing me today.

She does look very kissable. ;)

Sidebar Is Shaping Up

As you can now see, the left sidebar is starting to shape up pretty well. I have all the essentials; The Sitemeter to tell me who's checking in, the most important item next, The Yankees Updates & next the Polls, just for fun and intellectual stimulation.

The next item is a new addition, the WTF Music Moments that make me wonder. There are a lot of songs out there that make me wonder just wtf someone is trying to say. Sometimes I even wonder why they bother so I'll be posting my 'head-scratching' moments from time to time. Feel free to comment any time with your opinions.

The next item is the Mutant Enemy icon. Any Buffy fan knows what that is all about. (Right Cat?) And last you can see I have room for more stuff. Always leave room for something new in your life, I always say. :)

So Yankeebob is shaping up finally. Now all I have to do is post something worth reading. :)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

I Am Bummed

Lisa Tucker was axed from American Idol tonight. That sucks! She was my favorite too. I am bummed. It especially irks me when a bum like Ace is still there.

I could not believe that Katherine was in the bottom 3 tonight. There is something wrong with the voters out there if she was in the bottom 3.

Bye bye Lisa. The show is not going to be as fun without you.



I Agree With Kat

Yes Kat, I saw your comment and I totally agree; American Idol was pretty bad last night. I don't think it could get more lame. Nor could it get more monotonous. The judges pretty much said the same thing every time someone was done performing. "It was just alright." or "You chose the wrong song. It didn't allow you to show your talent." etc.... Boring.

I did get a good laugh at that guy Ace at least. He mentioned that he was going to rock out a little this week and then sang a lame version of a lame excuse for a rock song. I laughed almost the whole way through. He wasn't too good at all.

And the worst part was how Paula kept jumping all ove Simon again. He couldn't say one thing before she was interrupting him and freaking out. He does say things a bit more rough than he needs to sometimes but at least he's truthful. The rumor of Paula being replaced may be true if she keeps acting like a butt. Hopefully they won't be so stupid as to replace her with Britney Spears though. That would really suck.

Hopefully Ace will be gone this week. Ace or Paris leaving would suit me fine. We'll see tonight.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

This Makes me So Happy!

Barry Bonds says his life is in shambles. (Link is here) Uh huh. We wish. But I do like hearing it. Is that wrong? I don't think so. He's nothing more than a major league cheater and a rich one to boot. I don't feel bad for him even a little. You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Here's to hoping he is injured opening day and never returns to play. Ever. Records stolen shouldn't count anyway.

Monday, March 27, 2006

My History With Jessica

Since it is Jessica Simpson Uber-Fan day here, I will confess the truth about my affections for her. Not too many people know that Jess and I have a history together. Unfortunately, it hasn't work out quite the way I ....err.... we had planned. Not yet anyway. So I'll let you know now the truth behind our whirlwind romance using some personal photos.


This is a pic from the first time I ever met Jess. She was working and someone was bugging her a lot so she yelled real loud at them, "Would you please get a grip!!!"



Well, I just happened to be working as a grip on the set and when her assistant forced me to come to meet her, I let go of what I was gripping, which just happened to be some water for special effects and this was the result.



Her dress was ruined. So to make it up to her, I took her shopping. Well, I offered to take her shopping anyway. Here you can see that she just didn't like too much stuff we were seeing. Well, stuff she was seeing since they wouldn't let me into the store. But I waited patiently outside for her.



Here is a picture of Jessica yelling at me. She was kinda upset. I was filling in for her assistant one or two days. I think this was the time I forgot to bring in her JuJuBees from the car and they got stuck to her seat. It was kinda messy so I didn't blame her.



Here is a pic. of Jessica's new hair style. I picked this out for her. Well, I guess I should say I helped her pick it out. During work one day my gum somehow got stuck in her hair and they had to cut it shorter to get rid of it. It turned out nice though, don't you think? Yeah, I do like being helpful.



Here is a funny picture of Jess teasing me. I had just asked her if we could be more than friends and have a date. She's such a crack-up!



Not long into our friendship, Jess started feeling bad. Every time I saw her she would take a drink of this stuff called Maalox. It didn't seem like she liked it much.




Here is a pic I took when Jessica and I were supposed to go to McDonald's for lunch. Well, she actually didn't say she wanted to go to McDonald's. She didn't even mention having lunch with me that day come to think of it but the Cops were so confused that day that they kept getting between us. They didn't even remember my name. They kept calling me Stalker. Funny name, eh?




I tagged along with her... well, behind her in my car anyway, to the Police Station. Here is a pic I took at the Police Station. She said I couldn't go with her. Actually, the Cops said so. She wore a real nice outfit that day. Something about needing to make sure the Police would help her out. I think it worked.



Here is a pic I took of Jessica wearing a disguise. She told some mutual friends that some jerk was following her around everywhere. I wasn't fooled but I sure hope that jerk was.




Here is one I took at a charity event. See how surprised and excited Jessica was to see me? Yeah, I was happy too!




Here is a pic of the last time I saw Jessica. She was practicing with her new self-defense weapon. I heard her say something about that guy 'Stalker' again. (The one the Cops mistook me for.) I guess he was still following her around. I pity him when she uses that gun on him. Yikes!




I saw this recently. I guess I feel a little responsible. I know I have the Kavorka and I should have stayed clear of her, since she was a newlywed and all. But I couldn't help myself.



So now I'm just sitting here by the phone waiting for that call. I know it's coming. As soon as it does, I'll be posting more happy pics. Wish me luck!

I Wish She Still Had Diarrhea

You know a conversation is going to be weird when it starts out with the statement "I Wish She Still Had Diarrhea." That's how my morning fun with Peachy started out today. Maybe she'll be sweet and let you know what she was talking about. :)

But this Monday morning is a wacky one anyway. I woke up in a goofy mood and now I'm still in it. I think today has aaalll the makings! Assuming I "don't let the bastards drag me down." (Your Bono quote of the day.)

In honor of wacky Monday I have decided to be a Jessica Simpson uber-fan today. Just for today she will be my favorite artist. Here is the link to her site so you can get the fever and join in on the fun. http://www.jessicasimpson.com For some of us, being a JS fan won't be too hard. I think she's adorable and she does have talent. I just can't take that style of singing. Just once I'd like to hear her sing without warbling her voice all the time.... Oops! Forgot! OK Today, I love everything about her. :) My bad.

Anyway, that's about it for the morning. I'll be in touch with all the best Jessica news and updates throughout the day. Stay tuned and remember; Jessica Rocks!

Isn't she adorable?

Sunday, March 26, 2006

BS Friday Answer(s)

Here are the answers to the BS Friday list:

1. I can't stand peanut butter but one of my favorite things in the world is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. True. I love Grape Jelly and peanut butter. Light on the PB please.

2. I once met Jenny McCarthy and she gave me a high five. True. It was at a book signing event for her first book. She was high-fiving the crowd as she left and her pinky finger caught my index finger. I haven't washed it since. ;)

3. I am responsible for, or at least a partner in, 7 different blogs. True. Some are secret. (Don't ask, I won't tell.)

4. I am such a true blue Yankee that I quit coaching Little League when they changed my team name away from the Scotland Yankees. True. I had all first year players my first season. We lost every game but by the end of the schedule we were almost winning. The second year we went undefeated. The third year we got a bunch of new players and a new name. I couldn't tolerate being on a team called 'the Braves' so I gave it up.

5. I am seldom serious and most people have a hard time deciding if/when I am. True. Just ask Peachy. It is a real problem sometimes.

6. I have never seen even one episode of 24. True. Mostly because of all the hype.

7. I am secretly in love with a blogger friend. True. She probably knows who she is too.

8. I believe that Liberals are the devils tools. True. There can be no other explanation for the outrageous ways they keep working to destroy the fabric of American society.

9. I understand the Debra LaFave thing because I had a year long romance (term loosely used) with a teacher when I was in Senior High. True. I never regretted it and neither did she. It was a great time in my life.

10. My first encounter with a prostitute was in Denmark and it scared me so much I just left the bar. (It is legal there btw.) True. I didn't realize where I had wandered into and what was happening until the girl(s) just flat out asked if I wanted to go to my room for sex. Dumb-ass me couldn't get it into my head so they had to make it obvious.

Notice a pattern here? All true answers. It was a trick quiz. But I am tricky like that. ;)

Thanks to everyone who played along (Peachy and S!) See you again next week.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Grocery Store Nightmare

I just got back from a supposedly quick trip to the supermarket. Anyone who has been reading this blog for a while probably remembers all the fun & free entertainment I find shopping there. Not so since I moved to this little town. Trips to the supermarket here are terrible experiences. They just keep getting worse every time too.

This time I went for some necessities; milk (gotta have it for tomorrow's coffee) ice cream, and Peeps. I hate to be out of Peeps. So I get into the express lane and there are just 2 people ahead of me. One person almost done and this weird old lady right in front of me. She is standing there and looking at the gossip mags and clicking her tongue. Shaking her head and clicking he tongue. I was amused.

She suddenly looks up at me as if I had magically appeared. Her eyes got real wide and she leaned back and said "What?" real loud. I started laughing and couldn't answer her. Not just because I hadn't even said anything but because she looked like the woman from Seinfeld when Kramer had gone to L.A. trying to make it as an actor. Remember the old lady has-been who told the cops Kramer was in love with her? She looked exactly like her! All that caked on makeup and fake color hair and 50's style bouffant hairdo. It was funny.

My fun was short-lived though. The girl at the counter had to call to her to get her to move up. Then she took forever getting her stuff onto the conveyor. Then when the girl tells her the total, she breaks out her checkbook. She hadn't even gotten it out of her purse yet. Then she proceeds to write in the ledger part. I'm thinking, "You have to be kidding me." Then she starts writing the check. I was stunned. Do people still do that these days? Not just the check writing thing but are they really so rude as to not be ready when they are in the express lane in the supermarket?

People behind me were already bailing out into other lines. I noticed people who had gotten into regular lanes after I got into the express lane already leaving. I was now annoyed. Naturally, this couldn't be the end of the frustrations.

The girl put the check into the machine and her face went blank. Then she fiddled with it a little and just stood back and looked at it. She fiddled a bit more and then she looked at me and said, "My computer locked up. I need to get help." Next thing I know she's walking away. Great!

The old beyotch who started all this mess turned and got real close to me and cackled, "What did she say?" I stepped back, reeling from her breath Before I could yell at her stupid ass that "she had screwed up the machine with her stinking, lousy check that took her an hour to write!" the girl and a Manager came back. They messed with the thing for a while and finally got it working again. I was relieved. This short trip had turned into a long irritating trip.

Just when I thought it was over, the girl looked at the old beyotch and told her she had earned enough points for some kind of coupon thing. I knew we were in trouble when the old bag just stared at her blankly. The girl tried hard for several minutes to explain what she was talking about but the oldie just couldn't grasp what she was telling her. She tried to put it as basic as possible; "You can have a coupon for a free ham if you want it!" That the old lady understood. She said she wanted a free ham coupon. Whew! The girl printed it and finally the woman left.

I was in that store gathering stuff for 5 minutes. I was in that line, the express lane with only 2 people ahead of me, for 25 minutes. I could have screamed.

When I went outside, there was the old woman, still loading her 3 bags into her car. She was still there after I had checked out and headed home. I have no idea how people get to be like that woman. I sure hope I am dead before I get to that stage in life.

Friday, March 24, 2006

A Few Quizzes For Fun

Your Ideal Relationship is Polyamory

You want to have your cake... and everyone else's.
Which isn't a bad thing, if everyone else gets to eat too!
You're too much of a free spirit to be tied down by a traditional relationship.
You think relationships should be open and free, with few restrictions.

Yeah, big surprise. :)



You Should Be A Gemini

What's good about you: witty and energetic, you're simply the most fun to be around

What's bad about you: you're flighty - losing interest in people and projects quickly

In love: you enjoy the "honeymoon phase," but after that it's hard for you to stick around

In friendship, you're: likely to have many groups of friends, with many different interests

Your ideal job: mime, guru, or cartoonist

Your sense of fashion: casual and simple

You like to pig out on: fast food, especially burritos

Good answer since I AM a Gemini. :)



Your Seduction Style: Sex Pot

Tradionally known as a "siren", "rake", or "femme fatale." You exude sensuality.
And while your sexiness is part of what makes you an incredible seducer...
Your ability to make others feel sexy is what really makes your seduction skills shine.

Most people don't feel attractive or desired enough - a need which you tap into.
You have the ultimate sex appeal, and getting attention from you is a total self esteem boost.
Your confidence is contagious, and you help others unleash their own sexuality.

Your sex pot seduction skills are so intoxicating that you can get away with... well, almost murder.
Lovers feel like your sensuality is in your blood, so it's only natural if you flirt a little.
And if you stray, that might be okay as well - as long as you make your lover still feel hot.

Yeah Baby!



Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing.
You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes.
And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad.
You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

Me so happy!



You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

I'm OK, you're OK.... as long as you don't piss me off. ;)

BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. This week we are doing something a little different. I had a suggestion from a friend that I do another quiz type BS Friday. I like those too but the last one I did was too long. This time we'll keep it to just 10 statements. You choose which are true and which are BS. Ok, here we go:

1. I can't stand peanut butter but one of my favorite things in the world is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

2. I once met Jenny McCarthy and she gave me a high five.

3. I am responsible for, or at least a partner in, 7 different blogs.

4. I am such a true blue Yankee that I quit coaching Little League when they changed my team name away from the Scotland Yankees.

5. I am seldom serious and most people have a hard time deciding if/when I am.

6. I have never seen even one episode of 24.

7. I am secretly in love with a blogger friend.

8. I believe that Liberals are the devils tools.

9. I understand the Debra LaFave thing because I had a year long romance (term loosely used) with a teacher when I was in Senior High.

10. My first encounter with a prostitute was in Denmark and it scared me so much I just left the bar. (It is legal there btw.)

There you go. My impromptu 10 questions. Let me know what you think. :)