Cop Out Post

I'm a little busy this morning and I also don't have anything of relevance to say (yet!), so I will do the next best thing. Here are a couple of comics that always make me smile when I see them.


I think Snoopy & Woodstock would be fun to hang with, don't you?



Poor old Charlie Brown.

It's good that we never got to see him grown up. That could really have been depressing. :)

Time For A Change

Do you ever get tired of reading blogs? Do you ever get tired of checking in and seeing what your blog friends are doing this day and that day? Spending time ....."coming into this stinking apartment (blogworld) every ten minutes to pore over the excruciating minutia of every single daily event", as Elaine would say. Don't you just get worn out from it?

Yeah, me neither. I love it!

One thing I do get tired of though is me. Me and my stupid habit of visiting bloggers that have godly attitudes. The ones who know everything, have the solution to everyone’s problems, who know and act like they are superior beings. The ones who have the answers to everyone’s issues and act as though they are perfect. They like to point out the fact that everyone else is dumber than they are and never handle life issues the way they do, which is always the perfect way. They suck. I get pissed at myself because I have a strange fascination with seeing just how much more crap they will post and I can’t stop reading them. Dumb ass YB. Yep. I need to break that habit.

Soon I will.

Be forewarned, all you superior beings. I will stop visiting you and then..... well you won’t even notice. But I’ll feel better. And that’s what life really is all about anyway. Feeling OK. At least to those of us who don’t know any better, dumb as we are. :)

Your Highness?

I saw this show last night about British Royalty and I have a question that they didn't answer in it; Who decided to call royal people "Your Highness"? Isn't that a strange thing to call someone? I'm sure it has to do with putting them above 'ordinary' people. It just sounds funny.

When I was younger we had a friend we called 'highness' but it wasn't because he was royalty. It was because he always seemed to be high on something. Obviously, I'm sure the royal family isn't called highness for the same reason. Well, who knows about that Prince Harry guy. He seems to like to cut loose a bit.

I think I'd get annoyed if someone was calling me highness. That just seems like a weird thing to say. "Hey there Highness!" That seems pretty close to "Hey there Hiney!" Can't they just say Prince or Princess or Queen? OK, Prince was taken by a much more famous guy. Maybe that wouldn't work so well. Oh, and Princess these days is a bit of an insult whether it's a male or female being addressed. Ok. Hmm... and calling someone a Queen can get you into trouble too. Maybe I'm seeing a trend here. Maybe being called "Your Highness" isn't actually a compliment? Maybe it's one of those snide things they say and then snicker after.

I think they should just call them cool things like "Charles the Cheater", "Harry the Wilder" or "Michael the Boring". How about "Your Stuffiness" for the Queen? She seems a bit of a drag to hang with.

I think it's obvious that I don't get the whole royal family idea. It's also more obvious that I'll never be invited to dinner at the royal palace. I guess they call me "YB the Uninvited". Oh well. ;)

Enter Sandman

Did you know that movies can be a great cure for insomnia? I didn't either. Peachy has taught me that lesson. Apparently she can just pop almost any movie into the DVD player and it will put her to sleep. If the characters have an accent, it even works better. It works for her even in a theatre.

Spacebrain told me that he can do that too. He fell asleep in the theatre watching Star Wars. The original. Way back when. Yeah.

I haven't had that happen to me but I did fall asleep at a concert once. Believe it or not, it was a Metallica concert too. Queensryche had opened for them and at the time I was more interested in seeing them than Metallica. So when the 'big band' came on, I snoozed right through. I did get up for the oncores though. Those are the best anyway. Metallica played a lot of old stuff for their oncores. I also made sure I saw Kirk's solo. It was amazing.

Anyway, there you have it, a sure fire cure for insomnia. It may work for some. Personally, I'll stick with sex before sleep. In my opinion, that is the best way to go. ;)

The Secret Is Out

During the party on Friday Nicci found out that my ex lives a few doors down. Yep. It came out thanks to everyone having too good a time and too much alcohol. Figures.

Toward the end of the evening the remnants of the party crown were all sitting aroud the bar joking about how so many exes had shown up. Even Nicci's ex-husband attended.

*For the record, I don't even think about stuff like that. He's a good guy and I like him just fine. I spoke with him for a while and he hung around for a while everything was just fine. To me, what's past is past.*

We had a couple attend who were once married and one half of a divorced couple showed up even though both were invited.

Anyway, we were talking about all that stuff and I joked that if the one missing divorced friend had shown up then all our exes would have been there but mine and I'd have had to give her a call just so we'd have them all there. That was a mistake.

One of our friends started laughing and babbling on about how she had forgotten about my ex living so close. She was almost losing it laughing about the fact that my ex was just a few doors down. I think she forgot that it wasn't something Nicci knew about. Of course Nicci asked for clarity on the subject. Surprisingly she found it very amusing that we lived so close together. She laughed quite a bit about it. (I hope it stays that way.)

So now she knows about it. Of course I feigned ignorance. It doesn't seem to have bothered her too much. She seemed fine with it yesterday. We'll see how it goes from here.

So, a word to the wise, beware of friends who can't keep secrets, especially when they are drinking. Alcohol + secret = (possible)trouble ;)

Great Party!

The Christmas party last night was awesome! We all had a blast. This house was so full of people. I loved it. We had old neighbors here, old friends, family, new friends and some big time surprise show-ups.

Two of our friends who had moved to Tennessee over a decade ago showed up. They were told about the party by someone who was coming and they came on over too. This just happened to be the weekend they were visiting their family. Great tinmg, eh? It was so great to see them. They only come home a couple times a year and we don’t always get together.

Another loved friend showed up that we didn’t expect. She is someone I miss dearly and never get enough opportunities to hang with. We never heard from her and just assumed she wasn’t coming. Shows what we knew. It was a Festivus miracle!

So I had a house full of everyone who has ever meant something to me. Imagine that. The best part of having such a big crowd is that there is never a moment where your conversation gets tired. You are talking with someone and then someone else joins in or someone else will distract you and so on. The conversations may last 5 minutes but they never end. That’s a great thing for someone like me who gets so easily distracted and/or bored quickly. The evening never gets stale.

I didn’t get a lot of pictures. Truthfully, I got a couple before the party started then forgot about the cameras. There were 2 cameras out for pictures and none were taken. Oh well. I have uploaded a few from earlier last night but that’s all there is.

All in all, it was a great night. The party was a huge success. Only the fact that Peachy and Spacebrain didn’t show sucked. But I guess they had better things to do. Too bad. That would have made the evening as close to perfect as it could be.

Pictures:

This is one view of the living room with the tree and the fireplace.



Here is my favorite decoration. The weird little fiber optic tree with Looney Tunes characters on it. I just posted it because everyone got a kick out of it last year, especially Cat. It's still just as awesome as ever.



Here is the guest of honor. Bugs with his Santa attire. Yeah, he's cool.

A Christmas Gathering

Tonight we are having our annual open-house Christmas gathering. We have the whole place decked out (even the halls) and the food is ready. There should be enough munchables for half the town. We are well stocked with wine and a friend is bringing his super-douper double sided blender drink machine. He can make copious amounts of frozen drinks with that thing. The Cappuccino machine will be heated up, the warm spiced wine will be ready. I have the whole house wired for Christmas music. The fireplace is well stocked with wood. The little gifts for anyone who shows up are wrapped and anxiously awaiting a new home. I think we are ready.

I look forward to this party every year. We invite almost everyone we know to it. I love a full house at Christmas. The time and expense are never a consideration. We just go for it and try to make sure everyone has a great time. Good friends, loved family members, good food, good drinks and warm hugs... that's a Christmas gathering. I may even break out the guitar and do some Christmas caroling myself. We'll see. The real challenge will be to get Nicci to play the piano for everyone. Sometimes we can get her to play for a while. She is awesome! She was a concert pianist for a while when she was younger. I'll bet we can at least talk her into doing Fur Elise for us.

So I'll be busy today with all the final touches. I won't be blogging much but I want everyone who isn't at our gathering tonight to know that I'll drink a toast to you. I wish all my blog friends could come by. But since most of you whom I consider friends live so far away, a toast and a Merry Christmas is the best I can do.

I will attempt to post pics tomorrow. Then you can feel like you've visited. Maybe just a little. Everyone have a great day.

Stupidass Cigars

Tonight we went to happy hour after the big company Christmas party. It was a good time. I was just wondering something though; why do some guys have to have a cigar when they are out drinking? Those things are worse than cigarettes. They are sickening.

One of the guys we were with actually left the bar to go and get cigars. Then several of them stood around with those big, fat stinky things smoking up the joint. They were sucking on them like they were candy or something.

I don’t get it. Those things stink. They ruin the air for everyone within 20 feet of them. They are not cheap either. They also look stupid. What is the big attraction?

Maybe it’s a way of releasing pent up frustrations. The guys smoking those things may have a craving for trying out a penis or something. I think it’s a suppressed desire to try out gay sex. That is the only thing I can think of. They look like they are practicing for sucking a big old wang-ho.

I wish they’d just come out of the closet and get it over with. Then we wouldn’t have to put up with their nasty pollution anymore.

Otherwise it was a great evening. :)

BS Friday, Almost

This is my BS Friday story today:

I came to work, got real busy and now I’m annoyed because I have no blog time. Stupid work!

See Cindy Lou, I can write a short BS story.


I'll be back!

If I Were A Female Vampire...

If I were a woman and I was a Vampire, this is who I'd be. (OK, so it's a stretch but I can't resist Vampire anything.)

I love that El Sid is back. She always finds the best quizzes. I found this one as a result of one she had posted. Thanks Sid.




The Temptress


You are the one who comes into people's dreams at
night to drive them mad with desire. You are
sultry, sexy, and passionate. Others find you
hypnotic. You have the sort of smoldering eyes
and bedroom glances that are the stuff of
legend.

What's so scary about you: Like sweet poison, you
are addictive and deadly.

Your gemstone: Garnet
Your moon: Rose Moon (July)


Which Beautiful Vampiress are You? (For Girls! - Gothic Anime Pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

What I Would Say To Them

Last week I did a post where I was wondering what a conversation with Jennifer Love Hewitt would be like. I was thinking about that this morning and then I started wondering just what I would really say to a celebrity if I had the chance. Here are a few things I would definitely say:

To Jennifer Love Hewitt I would say: "How you Doin?" (Using my best Joey Tribiani voice)

To Sandra Bullock I would say: "WTF?"

To Tom Cruise I would say: "Shut the f&$k up!"

To Katie Holmes I would say: "I know this clinic where they cure brainwashings. I can help you."

To Angelina Jolie I would say: "You are the prettiest freak I've ever known. Seriously, I meant that as a compliment."

To Bill Clinton I would say: "Of all the women you could have chosen...?"

To Halle Berry I would say: "How you Doin?" (JT voice again)

To Ashley Simpson I would say: "Loved that little dance you did on SNL."

To Jessica Simpson I would say: "You actually chose The Dukes Of Hazard as your first movie?"

To Paul McCartney I would say: "I think you are boring but here's Cindy Lou's number anyway."

To Tom Cruise I would say: "I want to meet your parents so I can smack them for producing you!"

To Britney Spears I would say: "You can take the girl out of the sticks but you just can't take the 'redneck' out of the girl, can you?"

To Celine Dion I would say: "Shut the f&$k up!"

To Eliza Dushku I would say: "So, you did Tru Calling and not a Buffy spinoff. How'd that work out for you?"

To Nicole Kidman I would say: "Aren't you glad he's not your problem anymore. BTW, How you Doin?"

To Brad Pitt I would say: "You're so pretty!"

To Viggo Mortensen I would say: "Wasn't Viggo the evil guy in Ghostbusters II? Were you related?"

To Ben Affleck I would say: "I guess you are proof that going to a stripper can turn out OK, eh?"

To Paris Hilton I would say: "Nicole Richie is way cooler than you."

To Nicole Richie I would say: "Paris Hilton is way cooler than you."

To Rebecca Romijn-Stamos I would say: "How you Doin?"

To Johnny Depp I would say: "How you Doin?"

To Keanu Reeves I would say: "Give it up. You suck."

To Madonna I would say: "Were you ever really a virgin?"

To Salma Hayek I would say: "Cómo sean usted haciendo?"

To Orlando Bloom I would say: "Don't make a movie with Angelina Jolie. You could be next on her list."

To Tom Cruise I would say: "Don't make any more movies, unless it's with Angelina Jolie. (That would be great for Katie). Oh, and shut the f&$k up!"


That's all I can think of right now. What celebrity would you like to say something to? ;)

Question Of The Day

What bugged you the most today? What pissed you off?

It occurred to me that everyone experiences something that bugs them daily. Maybe even pisses them off. So I want to know what bugged/pissed you off today.

I want to know because here is mine: I had a lunch date that got canceled. So I decided that I would go with a dearly loved friend. We never, ever get to hang together without interruption so I asked if she wanted to go. She declined. She had a big breakfast and it was cold out so she was just skipping lunch.

Well, the next thing you know, she's going out with someone else for lunch. ?!?!?!? Someone who asked her after I did. Double ?!?!?!?

Yeah, I guess I know where I stand. I'll remember that, believe me.

So, what got under your skin today? :)

A Hump Day Art Gallery

OK with me. Sometimes a quickie is just fine. ;)



Kinky!



Don't look Grace!



Is this 'The Golden Mile'?



Even Godzilla gets some on Hump Day.



I've got a room full of hump for you. (Not to mention Starbuck's.)


I wonder if these two ever did hump?



Fairly self explanatory, don't you think?



Oh, three or four...



Uhm... I love Taco Bell too, but....

Brain Farts

I saw part of the show 'Untold Stories of the ER' last night and they had this weird chick come into the ER who ate at least 6 rolls of toilet paper daily. Yes, I did say she ate toilet paper daily. What would possess a person to even try toilet paper as an entree anyway? It sure doesn't look appetizing to me. And how can a person try some toilet paper and find it tasty? The only possible advantage I can see to eating toilet paper is if it cleans as it comes back out, if you know what I mean. That would be cool. Poop and wipe at the same time. Maybe she was onto something?

I see where Sean Penn was out for the protesting of the Williams execution last night. There’s a guy you want on your side. Just disagree with him and he’ll pop you one. Yeah, he’s a great advocate for non-violence. The actors who crawl out for the ‘protest flavor of the week’ are annoying. You’d think they would at least try to be consistent with their causes. I think they should just all get together and protest the existence of Tom Cruise. That would make sense to me.

I hate Winter. I have no idea why I haven’t moved away to a nice warm place by now. Have you ever noticed that in Wintertime you can not get out of the shower and still feel warm? Even if your heater is maxed out that cold chill gets to you quick. It’s weird. The best thing ever invented for Winter though are heated car seats. I love having my heated seats in the cold mornings. The only problem is that the butt gets nice and warm and then I get into another vehicle with winter cold seats and my cheeks turns to cubes for a while. That can’t be good if you want to avoid hemorrhoids.

I hear the Olympics are starting up again soon. The Winter Olympics in Italy, that is. Those things just keep popping up again and again. Seems like they never stop anymore. I think I liked it better when they were all together every 4 years. Then you could plan those long vacations away because every network executive seems to think that people actually want to see that stuff on TV. It would be much easier to avoid if it were every 4 years again. What would be really cool would be to schedule the games during the Presidential election year. Then all that crap would be easier to avoid all at once. Maybe we need to do something about this.

I heard a news story recently about a study done to find out why romance in a relationship dies. It turns out that there is a chemical in the brain released during the early stages of a relationship that makes you feel all ‘lovey-dovey’. The problem is that this chemical fades about a year after it first shows up. Even people, who stayed together, married or otherwise, lost their chemically induced romantic notions after about 1 year. It’s good to know that scientists are making progress on proving that romance dying isn’t just a ‘man thing’. But what I want to know is how do I get my hands on some of this chemical? I want to bottle it and sell it. Then I could really be “The Love Doctor”. I’d create Pepe LePews running around everywhere. How fun would that be to see? Note: I wouldn’t use the stuff. I’d just want to watch. :)

Remember When?

Got this from Meritt who got it from somewhere...... It was fun so I thought I'd try it here. Have at it.



If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, please post a comment with a completely made-up and fictional memory of you and me. It can be anything you want -good or bad - but it has to be fake.

New Poll Posted

I know! It's been about 2 months but I finally got a new Poll made. Thanks for all the applause. I appreciate it.

In keeping with the Christmas theme, I thought it would be cool to see what everyones favorite Christmas special was. I may have done this one before.... maybe, but it's still fun to do.

As always, if I missed your favorite, just write it into a comments section and I'll make sure it is added to the final tally.

For some weird reason I was thinking this morning that I would really like to hear Bugs Bunny sing some Christmas Carols. I know there have been some Christmas themed Looney Tunes cartoons, but I think Bugs and that New York accent singing carols would be a crack-up. Wouldn't it be great to hear Bugs and Daffy singing 'Baby, It's Cold Outside'? It would be best to still have Mel Blanc doing the voice, but that isn't possible anymore. Anyone out there capable of doing a good Bugs imitation?

When A Second Seems Like An Hour

Last night I was sitting in the dark looking at the snow. I started thinking about the times when I was a kid and I'd build a snow fort or one of those tunnels or something and then I'd lay down waiting for someone to come by. I remembered how the snow started out feeling cold but soon it felt warm and cozy and then I started getting sleepy. I know that I easily could have slept there. The thing is, I now know that people can freeze to death like that and not even know it. I didn't know it then.

As I was remembering those times I started wanting to go outside and lay in the snow and fall asleep. I wanted to cover myself up and get into that nice cozy, warm space and sleep. I wanted to not wake up.

For the one second that that thought was in my head I felt so relieved. I felt like it would be so good. It felt like the right thing to do. That one second was so seductive, so alluring and so hard to resist that it felt like it lasted an hour. For one second, I wanted to go and lay in the snow and sleep. Forever.

I know it was only one second of what some may consider insanity. But it had quite a draw. It still is in my head and I now wonder wtf is up. Weird.

One second can seem like an hour sometimes.





** Edited: No, I'm not suicidal or anything like that. No one freak out. It was just something weird that happened and I'm wondering why it seemed so cool.

BS Friday Answer

Not too much activity this week for BS Friday. Maybe poems aren't as fun?

OK, the poem is mine and it is about someone I was totally committed to. The problem was, she wasn't so committed to me.

Jen got it right again. Peachy, our conversation recently about how 'it's better to have loved and lost...' brought this one on. I don't think that saying is true for everyone. This relationship (the one in the poem) left me with the inability to feel completely secure in any future relationships. Maybe it's better to be ignorant. I think so.

Sorry if it bummed you out Summer. It was a spur of the moment idea.

Welcome To BS Friday

Welcome to BS Friday. You know the drill. Check it out and tell me if it's truth or just BS. This week there's a different spin on BS Friday. Poetry for the broken hearted. First, is it mine? Second, is it about me and.... someone? Good luck and try to keep the tears off the woodwork. ;)




She handed me the ring
I sold it to the shop
I didn't want it anymore

She told me I was the one
I believed her for a minute
she lied for longer than that

She was the one for me
I knew it was different for her
she knew it before we kissed

I held her for a while
for as long as she allowed
she needed only what she took

The end was all she wanted
she winced when she took notice
of how long she had tarried

I still feel her today
the piece of me she cut
still lives in her pocket

I won't believe her again
even if it's not really her
even when I want to try

Time heals all wounds
I hear that is the truth
liars don't know what they're saying

Snow Days Are Our Friend

I just came back inside from shoveling snow. We had our first big snow storm last night. It’s beautiful outside. The shoveling took me a lot longer than I had thought it would. This house has a much bigger area to maintain. I don’t mind though. Shoveling snow and mowing grass are the two things I really like to do outside.

I did our whole driveway. Then I did our sidewalks. I got to the porch and I was feeling pretty good. Almost time to go inside. Then I see our 91 year old neighbor standing on her back porch waving to me. That sounds like a nice picture I know, but what it means is that she wants something. I had a sinking feeling that I knew what it was.

When I got over to her house she was acting quite distressed. She couldn’t get in touch with the guy who usually does her shoveling. She asked if I’d mind just making a couple of tracks down the driveway so that a car could get in and out. I had thought that was what she needed. I told her it was no problem.

She thanked me and started to go inside when she let out a little yelp. I hid a smile (because it was cute) and she turned and told me she had locked herself outside. Now I was worried. I thought I was going to have to host this person all day until she could get her door opened again. Then after about 5 minutes of babbling on about what she should do, she snaps her fingers and laughs. She just remembered that she had a spare key stashed outside somewhere. (You have to see the animation when she gets going. It's hilarious!) I went and got it for her so she could get back inside. The whole time she was going on about how she had never done that before. Uh huh. Then why did you have a key stashed outside ‘just in case’?

As I started doing the ‘tracks’ in the driveway I realized that leaving snow to melt and re-freeze in those tracks made no sense, so I just shoveled the whole driveway. Then I realized that her front walk had to be done so the mailman could get to the mailbox, so I went ahead and did that too.

She came back out and thanked me profusely for helping her out. She wanted to pay me and when I refused she gave me the weirdest look. She told me about the neighbors who all had snow blowers and would never offer to help. Then she thanked me again and I finally got back inside my house. It was quite the start to the day. I didn’t expect 2.5 hours of shoveling snow.

So now here I am, having a bologna and grape jelly sandwich, sucking down a cherry Pepsi and checking in on blog friends. I guess I could get in to work now. The roads look Ok, but wtf. I’m not going to bother. Besides, if I go back out there the old lady might need me to take her shopping or something. Snow days are a gift. Time for screwing around. I can’t risk that. Right? ;)