On one of my earlier posts a mini-discussion happened about kids in school being labeled ‘freaks’ and ‘odd’ and the possible results of trying to control their ‘creativity’. I got to thinking about how about the stages of acceptance and rejection in early life can be so different.
When I was young I remember being labeled as ‘creative’. ‘A future artist’, ‘imaginative’. I remember being in 1st grade and doing some kind of sculpture thing with clay that just kept growing and growing until it was taking over an entire section of table. I didn’t notice that the teacher was moving other kids away from my table, letting me go with my creation. Later, when I stopped to take a break, I had 5 teachers hanging around talking to me about it and praising me for what I was doing. It was then that I realized something odd had happened. It was then that I also realized I liked the recognition.
A similar thing happened to me in 2nd grade. I was working on a giant mural during art class that wouldn’t stop growing. I kept adding bigger chunks of poster board to the thing and it got to be huge. It was a scene from prehistoric times with dinosaurs and jungles and all that stuff. Kinda like Calvin when he does his dino drawings. I never noticed how big it got nor did I notice the deference paid to me while I was creating. At break time, once again I had a bunch of teachers oohing and ahhing over the thing. Funny thing was this was a different city and school. Same result.
These types of things kept happening to me all through grade school. Everyone loved when I’d get engrossed with a project. That dino mural was kept hanging for weeks in the back of the classroom. Other kids would come to me asking for drawings. It was great. Then came Middle School.
This was a different world. Boys my age were expected to start being mini-studs. I was into Baseball (duh!) and the Tennis bug was just starting to get me too. But I was still all over the creativity thing. Kids my age were just starting to think it wasn’t quite so cool anymore. The teachers knew who the few of us were who were ‘creatively inclined’ though and they would always draft me and 2 others to do special projects. One was this giant mural that covered the entire wall of the hall outside the offices. It was literally about 50 yards long and floor to ceiling. We did it and from what I understand it was still there for years.
Then came Junior High. This is where kids learn to be assholes. It’s just a natural progression of development, I think. Anyone who was an ‘artist’ (which became an insult suddenly) and was a brain (I was in advanced college prep classes) and who belonged to the chess club (still love the game) was branded a loser and a weirdo. Suddenly, I became a social outcast. Not totally like some of the others since I was on the Baseball team and the Tennis team, but for the most part I was.
This was a new thing for me. It definitely changed me. It served to create in me a feeling of distain and negativity toward the cliques in the school. The jocks were friends, but I still thought they were jerks, especially toward girls. They were disgusting. I still have few real guy friends after hearing all the crap from Jr. High boys toward girls. The egg-heads accepted me, but at arms length. I was as smart as them but I was also a jock (of a sort). I was also an ‘artist’ and that wasn’t something they wanted to be a part of. Nor did they want the added negative tag next to their names. They had enough social trouble being the eggheads.
The rich kid cliques acted the worst. They were the ones who decided I wasn’t socially acceptable at all. Until they needed something, of course. Like tutoring for a class or help with their Tennis game (which I got pretty good at). They really learned to kiss my butt when it came to the social gatherings for the school though. They didn’t want me there, but they needed the decorations to be the best. That’s when I was cool. When it was time to draw and paint decorations for dances and stuff. They also kissed my ass when they wanted to impress someone with something ‘artsy’. I remember I invented this style of writing that was kind of Victorian (???) maybe and many teenage girls just “Had to have their boyfriends name” done in that script. Girls in Jr. High go through some boyfriends so that kept me busy. Also, they found out I could do a lot of cartoon characters. That was a popular request too, as long as it was understood they were doing me a favor by talking to me at all.
I never went to a prom when I was in school. Not with a date anyway. I was always there, but I went because I was one of the creators of the decorations and artwork that made the proms awesome. I didn’t really care back then either. I knew the thing went great because of me so I was cool with it. Jr. High is easily the weirdest, hardest time for a kid. Transitions are hard. Then came Senior High.
The first year of Senior High was nearly the same as the last in Jr. High. But as the year ended I noticed that people weren’t quite as big on the a-hole stuff. Eventually by the time I was a junior, it was almost back to the way it was in grade school. The creative people weren’t considered cool, just ‘different’. Once again I was somewhere in the middle. I had 3 art classes, but I also had elective Phys Ed daily. I was still a chess team guy, but I was second baseman on the school Baseball team and a good player on the tennis team. I was also part of the Stage & Lighting crew, a member of Glee Club, a member of the Yearbook Committee and as usual, a chief with the decorating committees for social events. I think it was hard to stick me into any cliques so I fared better than others.
Some of my friends weren’t so lucky. The ones who were strictly artsy and into the drama club stuff, they were considered the ‘freaks’. Not by me, but by a lot of people. Some of them handled it just fine, others didn’t. I can think of 2 friends in particular that didn’t handle the rejection well. They chose to become more anti-social and it hurt them. One overdosed and one blew his brains out with his Dad’s gun. It’s sad when that happens, but teens just aren’t able to handle stress as well as older people are, I guess.
Now things seem to have come full circle. When people come by my house they tend to ooh and ahh over the artwork. Sometimes I feel like its 1st grade all over again. Truthfully, I still like it.
These days I like to think things are different. The schools seem to be more geared toward developing creativity and individuality. I may be wrong, but there sure are more classes that weren’t available when I was in school. Like Guitar class for example.
No matter what, I guess there will always be the cliques and the in-crowds and the freaks. It’s a shame really. I have to believe that the so called ‘freaks’ wouldn’t be as anti-social without the help of negative peers or worse, parents that are no help. I hope the kid I was talking about in the earlier post has the strength to handle the scene he’s decided to make himself a part of. It’s not a fun way to try to get through school.
I have a little experience with this type of treatment. I guess my use of the term ‘Freak’ was not quite what I had intended. Perhaps I forgot what it was like back then. That’s what blogging is for. Reminders like this are invaluable.
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