First, an explanation: About a month ago I started to write down my thoughts about relationships. This thought process was started for several reasons, some of which I'll detail, some not. Initially I intended to post this thing once and be done with it. Problem was, it got too big. Huge. I guess I have more than a few opinions on the subject. So, I intend to break down the original monster sized post into several smaller ones. Hopefully there will be some discussion on each part and then the next will come. So, without further ado.....
I have 2 friends who don't particularly like each other. That's not usually a big deal, but they are also married to each other. They go through the motions pretty well, but it shows. Nicci and I visited with them recently and it is showing more and more. They snipe each other almost constantly. And it's the kind of situation where one talks bad about the other behind their back. I guess to get a sympathy vote or something. It's a bit stressful for those of us put in the position of riding the fence, so to speak.
This started me thinking about relationships in general. It seems like no matter how passionate, exciting, romantic and/or all consuming they start, they always cool off. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes not so much. Usually enough that one of the 2 involved people end up offended, disgruntled, feeling alone. You get the drift.
At first a relationship is the best. The anticipation of knowing you are going to see her/him. Butterflies in the stomach kind of feeling. The romantic notions just don't stop. The daydreaming about things you just can't wait to share. The passion. When it's new, the passion is the most intense. The anticipation of seeing each other can be overwhelming.
The problem is, time passes and you get to know each other well, maybe too well. This is where the realization of what's going on pops up. The future is staring you in the face. This is where decisions have to be made. Honest decisions. Honest evaluations. And this is where some of us (I've done it.) miss the boat. We need to think with the head and the heart to honestly decide if this person is 'the one' for us. It's a nice romantic thing to believe that love conquers all, but let me tell you the truth, that's a load of crap. Don't buy into the sappy cliches too easily. They could jump up and bite you good. Sometimes what seems like a perfect match just isn't. And sometimes we won't, don't and/or can't see the truth. Without honestly looking the relationship over and not being afraid to be honest with each other about what is going on, you end up where my friends are now, together, but miserable.
To be continued.....
3 comments:
I think the scary part is the re-evaluation and being honest with yourself and the other person. No one wants to be the bearer of bad news.
I could probably write a book as well so I'll stop with that point. :)
I've had a ball (no pun intended) reading your blog -- I'll be coming back later for more. Can totally relate, since I grew up with a New Yorker father who happened to be a rabid fan of the *other* team. That, and the fact that I live in Braves territory.
But of course, it was this entry that really spoke to me. Maybe it's because I write romance. Or maybe it's just because I'm female. I couldn't tell you. But I will tell you I enjoyed reading it! And I'll be back
Ditto the others. So many people sleep walk thru life that it's refreshing to find someone who wants to think and talk (post) thru the thought processes that should take place.
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