Relationships - Part 3

This is part 3 of the huge post on relationships. (See the 'Relationships' post of 9/25/04 for part 2 and 9/23/04 for part 1.) I believe with editing I can finally finish this thing up with part 4.

Sometimes things happen in a relationship that cause tremendous stress and, handled badly, lead to one partner or both resenting or even hating the other. This eventual hating of each other doesn't make sense to me. No matter what happens, at one time the two involved liked many things the other had to offer. More so than the things they didn't like. That's how relationships start. You find someone you are attracted to for whatever reason, you evaluate the things you like and/or don't like, and the relationship progresses if the good stuff outweighs the bad. (There's always going to be things you like and dislike about almost anyone you meet. Pretending 'It's all good' is silly.) Unless it's based on sex alone, which is fun, but more like a shooting star. It quickly fades away. But to end up in a situation where hatred comes along, that's really sad. What happened to all the good stuff you liked in the first place? Is it all gone? Doubtful. But strong emotions can cloud a clear head, and some situations end up all emotion.

Sometimes in a relationship matters of the heart become secondary issues. Like one that is well established. Comfortable. It gets to be more of a businesslike partnership than a romantic entity. I think this is the most common state of things. People get into ruts. Most people like guaranteed routines, few surprises, knowing what the course of life is. This situation can be a romance killer. And romance shouldn't be left to die off. (Are you listening, guy's? Yes I believe we are the biggest culprits.) This situation is where I think a new system should be put in place. Maybe we should have marriage contracts. The kind where you re-evaluate the situation every 5 years, and if it isn't what you want, end it. No fuss, no muss. Or you can love the situation and renew the contract for another 5 years. You could add in plans and goals that will be in writing so you can ensure at least an attempt to keep things fresh. Like, a trip to the Bahamas within a year. Adding a new kid in 3 years... Stuff like that. I bet the lawyers wouldn't like that idea. No messy, lucrative divorces to be enjoyed. (Let's not get started on lawyers. My opinion has been well documented. Posted 8/11/04.)

To be continued.....