Lately there has been a lot of talk around me about relationships and marriage. It seems everyone is contemplating long-term deals. One person is moving across country to be with someone. One person is engaged. One has a boyfriend whom she isn’t so sure is the right one. One recently got married (and it shows already). It’s like a soap opera around me. And I am amused.
I am amused because the recurring statement flying by is “Divorce is not an option. I will never get divorced. When I get married, it’s forever.” That’s a hoot! Not that I don’t think it’s possible. It is entirely possible for some. But it’s also highly likely to not be true. Especially for those young, naive souls who think that just because they believe it that will make it true. The truth is, love does not conquer all. Wishing that it did doesn’t change it.
Relationships are way too complex for assumptions like that. People sometimes do not grow in the same direction. Sometimes, oh the horror, they actually grow in different directions and outgrow each other. Yikes! There’s no sin in that. It sometimes just is a fact of life. “Sometimes an apple’s just an apple.”
Going into it all starry eyed is kinda dangerous. If something happens, the shock is much greater. It’s also much easier to not see truths that are right in front of your face. I think if someone has respect for the relationship and keeps a sharp eye on how and where things are going, then it has a much better chance of surviving. If not, I believe it has a much better chance of failure.
Yeah, I remember those days. I was married when I was 18. I believed I had found everything I needed. I even remember uttering the words “Forever” and “Luckiest guy in the world” and “we’ll always be together”, you know, all the wishy-washy, sickening sweet things that pop up when the love is still new. I was one of those who was in for a rude awakening. I got it too. But I also deserved it. I didn’t respect the differences we had as well as the similarities. If you don’t, you gets a black eye. Trust me.
Nope, I’m not amused because I think these romantic people around me are stupid. I don’t even think they are wrong to believe their claims to permanence and all encompassing romance. I’m amused because I think they are sweet. They also bring back sweet romantic memories from my past. I was young and in love once or twice too. (Don’t laugh.) I grew up. I got over it.
With age comes wisdom and experience. With wisdom and experience comes the ability to see things in the proper perspective. I used to think that was a load of crap. It’s not. I hope my romantic buds sure don’t learn things the hard way like I did. I hope they find their match the first time and that’s all she wrote. That would make me happy.
Of course, I’ll be dead and buried before I know the end of their story, but hey, I can still have my romantic dreams too, right?
No comments:
Post a Comment