Friday, August 12, 2005

Welcome To BS Friday

Welcome to another edition of BS Friday. Is it a true story or am I full'a BS? This one is called "I'm A Really Good Friend".

One night I was sitting at the bar waiting for my friend G, as usual. Mr. 'I'm always running late' didn't disappoint once again. I was into my 2nd beer when the bartender, who knew me well, sauntered over and slid a beer in front of me that I hadn't ordered. When I asked why, she nodded to a guy at the end of the bar and said he sent it over.

When I looked over to see who it was, I saw this fairly good looking guy nodding to me. I had no idea who it was. So I asked, "Do I know you?" He said, "I don't think so, but do you want to?" Yikes!

He then came and sat next to me and we started talking. Just small talk, nothing serious. Then he mentioned that he had seen me around and that he was happy that I was alone so he could get to talk with me. He also asked where my boyfriend was. Obviously I had been hanging out with G way too much because he had just assumed that we were a gay couple. I made a mental note to start hanging with some women in public more often.

So I explained to him that G and I were just buds, that we played music together and that I was by no means gay. Well, this didn't deter him a bit. He then started to try to pursuade me to consider a venture into an alternative relationship, maybe even just a one nighter to see if I would like it. Yikes again!

When I continued to tell him I was not interested at all, he got pretty into his most persuasive mode and even asked if I would consider money. He was sure that if I tried him out, I would be totally happy with the results. Don't you love that term? "Tried him out." Sheesh!

Anyway, I could not get this guy to take no for an answer, so I did the next best thing, I steered him in a 'better' direction. Being the good friend I am, I told him that G was into experimentation and that when he got there, maybe he would be interested. Well, that got his interest and suddenly he wanted to know everything about G. Everything. So I proceded to tell him of his many exploits that included women and men (yes, I was lying my ass off) and how G had an insatiable appetite for guys with longer, dark hair like his. I told him how kinky he was and that maybe he would want to tie him up and who knows what else. The dude was totally, totally aroused now.

Of course, right on cue, G walked into the place just then. He came over and I introduced him to his new future friend, excused myself to go to the restroom and promptly slipped out the door. I did peek through the window to see how he was making out. The guy was totally giving him the spiel he gave me, with his hand on G's knee even. Poor G was looking around frantically, maybe to see when I would come to his rescue. That wasn't going to happen.

The next time I saw G all he would say to me for hours was "You bastard!" I didn't blame him. Ah, what are friends for?

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