Fat Tuesday?

I woke up this morning and realized that I didn't really know what Fat Tuesday was. All these years with the awesome might of the internet at my fingertips I never took the time to find out. I knew that Mardi Gras was a big ass party but I still didn't get what Fat Tuesday was all about.

My first thought was "Is it this?"





Then I remembered it was a party so I thought maybe it wasn't supposed to be spelled 'FAT' but maybe 'PHAT'. That brought this to mind:




And this:



Now that is PHAT!

I figured that couldn't be right, even if I wanted it that way, so I decided to go ahead and do some research to find out just what it was all about. Imagine my surprise when I found out this:

"Mardi Gras Day is also know as Fat or Shrove Tuesday. In the not so distant past, this day was something of a "last call" before the expected reflection and abstinence of the Christian Lenten season."

Huh! Go figure. Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras are one and the same. It is the time to let loose before being sorry for letting loose. Drunken debauchery before chastity? Weird thought, eh? I had no idea that I already had the idea... or whatever I was trying to say there. So actually today is the first day of Mardi Gras. OK, now I get it. So it really is this:





But I'll tell ya, I sure am glad that Fat Tuesday is not this:






And here is a warning for all those larger people at Mardi Gras who have a little too much to drink:




No bungee jumping!


Happy Fat Tuesday everyone.

I Am Lame

So it's Monday again. I think I've started quite a few blah Monday posts that way. That's because I am lame.

The weekend went way too fast again. I guess all the extra working I've done the past 2 weeks made me a popular guy. Not with the work crowd but with the people who missed me. That's nice but it makes for a hectic weekend.

I did something recently that caused me to feel even more lame. I was searching back through my archives for something and stopped to read a few old posts. Then I read a few more. Funny thing was, I was entertained. I liked the stuff I read. Then I tried to read more recent posts and I found that I didn't like it much. It is lame. I have become lame blog guy.

I hate lame things, especially if I am responsible for them. :)

So in honor of this revelation I am doing several things about it. First, I will find out how to change this boring ass template. I need to just take the time and do it. Second, I will delete the Yankee blog. Sorry KB, we are all ignoring that blog anyway. Besides, I am Yankeebob after all. Yankee stuff belongs here. Third, I will try to be myself again here. I have slacked off on that in order to not offend too much. (What a dip-shit.) If these things don't work out, I will be deleting this blog too. Maybe I'll turn to the dark side permanently. We'll see.

Did I mention how much I hate lame things, especially if I am responsible for them? Yeah, I did. :)

So bear with me and if you have any good suggestions as to where I can find cool templates, let me know. All the past suggestions have gone into the nether-world and I don't remember where they are.

Ok, now that that's off my chest, let's see what the day brings.....

Thought For The Day

I was just thinking about how dangerous it must have been when a caveman had gas. For us it’s just embarrassing. For them it had to be downright dangerous.

Imagine trying to hunt when the Brontosaurus burger from the previous nights dinner starts coming back on you. Letting out a little gas would surely scare away any animals you were trying to make that evenings meal. They could smell that green cloud a mile away even if it was an SBD.

Then again, letting out some gaseous fumes could also make you the hunted. A lot of predators hunted by smell. That cheesy blaster probably would lead them right to you. Imagine feeling the relief of blowing a good one only to have the feeling replaced by the fear of seeing old T-Rex sniffing you out not 20 feet away. Worse yet, if you did a noisy one, that would give your hiding place away for sure.

Yep, gas had to be a really bad thing for the cavemen & women. It could cause you to starve or be eaten.

I hadn’t thought of that before.

BS Friday Answer

Here is your BS Friday answer. The story is false. Almost all of it. My friend and I did have the leaving work problems and the parking adventures but the restaurant was open and everything after parking went just fine.

The remainder of the story was actually from a Seinfeld episode called “The Fire”. It was Kramer that had that adventure. It is one of my favorite Kramer stories. The way he tells it is hilarious! (I have added the original script at the bottom of this post.)

Jen caught me on it, after she had already guessed right. But she was cool and sent me an email about it and didn't comment even though she knew the truth. Thanks Jen. Summer & Awna almost had it all right. Aoife had it too. Jarod just cracked me up! I guess everyone is onto the whole half true – half false thing.

BTW Lars, Peachy did play along a little. At first she didn’t know for sure but later I let her in on it and she just went along.

All in all, this was a fun one. Thanks again to everyone who played. Tune in again next week for more shenanigans. :)




Kramer: After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinky-toe."
George: "That's unbelievable!"
Kramer: "Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So, I put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off for the hospital."
Jerry: "You ran?"
Kramer: "No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, 'I got a toe here buddy. Step on it!'"
George: "Holy cow!"
Kramer: "Yeah yeah, then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun. Well, I knew any delay's gonna cost her her pinky-toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, 'Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?' I says, 'Well, I got a little prize for you, buddy.' Pwaa! Pwaa! Keeyah! Knocked him out cold!"
George: "How could you do that?"
Kramer: "Yeah, then everybody is screaming because the driver, he's passed out because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control! So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel... Now I'm driving the bus!"
George: "You're Batman."
Kramer: "Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So, I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door with my foot at the next stop."
Jerry: "You kept making all the stops?"
Kramer: "Well, people kept ringing the bell!"
George: "What about the toe? What happened to the toe?"
Kramer: "Well, I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line."
George: "You did all this for a pinky-toe?"
Kramer: "Well, it's a valuable appendage."
- Kramer, George and Jerry, in "The Fire"

BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. I'll write it and you tell me if it's true or just plain old BS. Today's post is called: Batman I Am


This post is a little different because this just happened yesterday. It's very fresh in my mind. I still can't believe it happened to me.

I left work early yesterday with a friend. We had planned this excursion several days ago and I was really psyched. Well, the first hint I should have taken that this was going to be a different kind of day was when I met her at her desk and she was called away for a 'minute'. Yeah, you guessed it. That minute became 45 minutes. I had gone back to my desk to do some things while I waited. Finally she called and when I went to meet her, she was gone again. Luckily this time she only took 5 minutes.

We went downtown to her favorite Indian restaurant for a quick lunch. We finally managed to find a parking spot and squeezed the SUV into it. When I went to put money into the meter I found that it was broken. Nothing I did could make it work so we had to go and find another parking spot. Tickets in the city are really expensive.

So finally we got to the restaurant and they were closed. Figures. My friend was totally bummed and when she turned to go back across the street she didn't notice the city workers coming at us. She stepped off the curb before I could stop her and a street sweeper ran over her foot. It was a shock! Worse yet, it had severed her pinky-toe.

So I called 911 and stayed with her until they came. There was blood everywhere! It was gross. Then after the ambulance left, I found the toe! So, I put it in a Cracker Jack box I found laying there, filled it with ice from the CVS and took off for the hospital.

Of course I didn't have her keys with me so I had to jump on the bus to get there. I raised such a commotion catching the bus that the driver asked me what my problem was. I told the driver, "I got a toe here buddy. Step on it!"

Everything is cool for a few minutes but then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun. He's gonna try and rob the bus. Well, I knew any delay's gonna cost my friend her pinky-toe, so I got out of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, "Where do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?" I said, "Well, I got a little prize for you, buddy." Pwaa! Pwaa! Keeyah! I knocked him out cold! It's amazing what adreneline can do for you.

I thought we were OK but now everybody is screaming. I look around and see that the driver, he's passed out because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control!

So I grab the driver by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel... and now I'm driving the bus!"

Then all of a sudden the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So, I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door with my foot at the next
stop. I had to keep making the stops because people kept ringing the bell.

Anyway, to make a long story short(er), I am happy to say that the little toe is back in place at the end of the line where it belongs. It looks like she will be just fine. I'm glad too. That toe is a valuable appendage.

So that was my 'fun afternoon off'. Not exactly as we had planned but we now have a good story to tell the Grandkids.

L.A Story

For the record, here is the actual quote from L.A. Story that I edited for our coffee party. I still think it was a fun party Meritt. :)


Guy with neck-support: I'll have a decaf coffee.
Trudi: I'll have a decaf espresso.
Movie critic: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Policeman: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.
Trudi: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Guy with neck-support: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Movie critic: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Cynthia: I'll have a twist of lemon.

This is another one of my favorite quotes:

"Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins but we always know when it ends?"

Good question eh? The movie is full of funny stuff and also moments that make you think. Check it out if you haven't seen it yet.

Here is a link to a lot of the movie's quotes, if you are interested.

Coffee At Meritt's

Meritt: (Standing in her back yard.) Thanks everyone for your help with the Italy trip. How 'bout some coffee?


YB: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf.
Jody: I'll have a decaf coffee.
Kim: I'll have a decaf espresso.
Lars: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino.
Momtomadi: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream.
SuZan: A decaf latte with whipped cream for me.
Jarod: I'll have the Caramel Macchaito. Hold the caramel.
YB: I'll also have a twist of lemon.
Jody: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Kim: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Lars: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Katy: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Jarod: I'll have a twist of lemon.
SuZan: I'll have a twist of lemon.
Momtomadi: I'll have a cherry for the ice cream.


Meritt: First, I don't do decaf and second, this isn't Starbuck's or L.A. Now, how 'bout some coffee? Just coffee.

Everyone: OK. Do you still have lemon?
Momtomadi: And that cherry?

Meritt: (walking inside her house) *sigh* *grumble..grumble..YB..grumble..instigator..grumble...*sigh*

I'm Following Again

I got this from Peachy. Surprisingly it seems to be pretty accurate. Neat!

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have high extroversion. You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends. You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation. Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!" Conscientiousness: You have low conscientiousness. Impulsive and off the wall, you don't take life too seriously. Unfortunately, you sometimes end up regretting your snap decisions. Overall, you tend to lack focus, and it's difficult for you to get important things done. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Too Funny!

I had to post this one. It is so funny to me!







I think I work with that guy!

Question Of The Day

How do you know when you are in love?

There is a really big difference between love and infatuation even though at the beginning they feel the same. I just want to know how a person knows when it's love.

We all know all about lust. That one is easy. Tell me how you know when it's love. (And please, no bad Foreigner song lyrics.)


".....remember only this, a kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true."

I Am Consistent

Tonight I stopped for gas on the way home. There were these two older gents talking at the pumps next to me and they were quite annoying. They were the kind that obviously knew something about everything and they were really going at it. Real loud preaching type stuff about the government, war… all kinds of things. They had all the answers.

It was really irritating me. I have had quite a few long days and I’m a little punchy.
So they started inside to pay (who doesn’t pay at the pump anymore?) still jabbering real loud and out of nowhere I hear a voice say “Would you just shut the f&%$ up!” Funny, that voice sure sounded familiar.

Yeah, it was mine.

The one guy sort of paused and glanced my way but thankfully they kept going. I breathed a sigh of relief. I really didn’t want to be a jerk to total strangers. I was happy that I got away with that one. I thought I had anyway.

As I pumped my gas in silence I thought I heard someone giggling. I turned to investigate the sound and that’s when I realized that I hadn’t checked out the pump directly behind me. I peeked around the corner and was surprised to see a really old woman finishing up with her gas purchase. She was still giggling a little but when I peeked around the corner she full out laughed at me. I just smiled and went back to my side.

At least she found it amusing and didn’t give me a speech about my bad manners.

Another Cool Quiz

Thanks to the quiz I got from Summer I noticed a Buffy quiz too so I had to take that. It decided that I am most like Faith. That is very cool! I can identify with her character. She has all the fun but is a stand up hero in the end. That's the way to live. Here are the results:

Faith

72% amorality, 90% passion, 45% spirituality, 36% selflessness
Faith is a powerhouse, and you might be, too. Passion-driven, down-to-earth, and willing to do what it takes to get things done and have a good time doing them, she is tough and sexy. Now, this test didn't rate your sexiness, but with these kinds of traits, that's probably true as well.

You rate as one of the most dynamic characters of the Buffy universe.

Congratulations!



Now tell me you could resist her! Well, maybe you women will have to imagine a manly version. :)

*Updated: I added the link.

I'm A Nerd?

I got this quiz from Summer. It took a little time but it is funny. I guess I'm a "Modern, Cool Nerd". I think I don't mind that. I think so anyway.... Here are the results:

Modern, Cool Nerd
52 % Nerd, 73% Geek, 30% Dork
For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

*Updated: Check out the link.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Congratulations!

The Highwayman Revisited…..

...or the continuing saga of the morning commute.

This morning we find our hero, The Highwayman, traveling his well known perilous route of destiny when he suddenly is accosted by one of the worst menaces on the road; Slow Pokerson, the slowest driver around. It wouldn’t be so bad if the Highwayman had run into SP somewhere on the main highway, but the first part of the commute is a one lane road with rarely a passing zone to be seen. Also there was the small problem of having several cars between our hero and the menace of Slow Pokerson. Zounds! What will our hero do?

Unlike many normal road racers, our hero never panics. Calling on his customary cool, calm demeanor, our hero knows his route well and when he sees that the pseudo-funeral line of slow pokes all turn onto the main access road to a connecting highway, the Highwayman quickly darts to the right onto a longer but possibly more advantageous route. The Highwayman needs all his years of experience and guile to maneuver around the sharp turns and tight S curve without slowing down. This has to be a perfect maneuver to pull it off properly. As our hero blasts his way down the mountain road he looks to his left and sees the Slow Pokerson led line has not made it to the highway quite yet. He smiles the smile of the satisfied as he passes by SP at the stop, a tear streaking SP’s cheek as he realizes his prey has avoided him once again.

But the Highwayman’s satisfaction is not long lived. Shortly he comes upon a tiny little Kia fully loaded with big hoodlum looking types stuffing the entire interior of the hard working import. They all have on doo-rags and/ or baseball caps turned at all different angles. The little car is laboring with the effort of hauling this gang of hoods around the mountain and the Highwayman feels a little bad for it. But not enough to embarrass its hoodlum driver when he gets his chance. Knowing that at the top of the next hill there is a small passing zone and that the little car cannot possibly keep the pace uphill with all that weight inside, the Highwayman steels himself for yet another skilled maneuver. He accelerates early and at the precise instant the passing zone comes within range, he jets around the hoodlum mobile and leaves them in the dust. As our hero looks into his rear-view mirror at the glittering gold-toothed grimace of the head hoodlum he finds himself wondering if they know why baseball caps are designed the way they are. Those guys don’t seem to know how to properly place them on their heads. Hmmm…

Our hero finally makes it to the main highway and peacefully and uneventfully proceeds to his one and only stop on the way, his personal refueling station called Starbuck’s. He is welcomed warmly by Rebecca of Sunnybrook who is already preparing his warm elixir of morning life without even asking. She knows his trials and how important her service is to the weary road warriors of the world. With a smile and a free sample of a new Daisy decorated cupcake, Rebecca sends the Highwayman back out onto the road, fueled up and ready for anything.

Our hero finds the driving on the highway this day much to his liking. There are few enemies on the road. He smiles and raises his Grande Latte in a silent toast to whatever fat-cat politician decided that the poor government workers needed another day off and made this day a holiday. Some people appreciate holidays for totally different reasons.

The Highwayman proceeds ahead, cruise control locked on, all systems operating at maximum efficiency, straight ahead, steady course, once again feeling the calm satisfaction of surviving the morning commute. Once again defeating the enemies on the road, the Highwayman prepares to face the day knowing he has a momentary respite from the enemies of the highway, until another time...........

Tune in again next time for the continuing saga of, The Morning Commute.

Kinda Worn Down

It's been a long weekend. Not the good kind of long. The shutdown at work is when we technical types get our hands on the critical equipment that is normally out of our reach during regular business days. So we get to come in and work with the stuff until the job gets done. You get the OK, you do the project, you get it done and you get up and running again. It makes for long days. Days are longer when they are supposed to be weekend days.

The cool thing is that since it's the weekend the place is all ours. No one calling with a problem. No one stopping you in the halls with questions. No "Oh shits" to handle asap. Just get in and do your thing. I like that. It kinda makes me wish I always worked off hours. Almost.

Tomorrow is our last day of this type of freedom, if you can call it that. It's been hectic and very busy but when it's hectic and all those annoying co-workers are back, it will be hectic and frustrating. So even though it's a holiday I won't mind too much. Plus, it will be a Starbuck's morning. How can that be bad?

I thought I'd have more blog time around starting different projects but the reality is that I have had less time. Thats not something I had expected.

Tomorrow should be fun. I hope everyone has had a great weekend. I'm off to try and catch up now.

BS Friday Answer

Time for the answer to the BS Friday post. This week we had quite a few differing opinions. I like that. Jody, I think you played it right this time. I really can't tell if you think it's BS or not. Either way it looks like you will get it right. Smooth. :)

OK, the story is true. It was a really fun time and I love doing things like that. I couldn't have had a better set-up if I was on a TV Sitcom. I have since done that type of BS a few more times. Mostly when I would take one of my spontaneous weekend trips to the beach. I would rarely let people know who I really was. It was fun in a weirdo kind of way.

Funny, I never called any of those numbers I got. I hadn't thought about that before now.

Now I get to work over the weekend. Yay for me. It is a rare thing but here I am and I'll be here through the whole weekend. Even the holiday on Monday. So I guess I'll be tuning in more than usual for a weekend. I hope everyone else is having fun.

BTW, one happy thing about working the weekend, I am on my second Starbuck's. Whee! I raised a toast to you Meritt when I had the first. I have no idea why. Starbuck's makes me think of my Coffee Talking friend I guess. :)

Some Dentists Don't Care

I just had a mini-conversation with a friend via text messaging and we inadvertantly discovered that some Dentists don't care as much as others.

Yes, Dentists again. Bear with me.

Remember that old ad that stated "4 out of 5 Dentists surveyed recommend sugarless gum for their patients who chew gum"? Well, if that were true then 1 out of 5 or 20% of the Dentists don't care about rotting your teeth with real gum.

I think they are the smart ones. Keeps them in business.

BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. You know the drill, I’ll write it and you tell me if it’s true or just plain old BS. Today’s post is called: Slut For A Night


A few years ago I was invited to go to a friend’s 5 year high school reunion. She and her fiancé (who happened to be my best friend) were going. It wasn’t the big formal wing-ding. In this area the reunions span a whole 3 day weekend. The first night to kick things off they start out with a social gathering at one of the local bars. It’s a nice place, a bit upscale. Back in those days I never turned down a party invite and the people at the reunion got their first 2 drinks free, so off we went, straight from work.

When we got there we had to sign in to get our name tags and our free drink coupons. My friends signed in and when they got to me and asked my name, I told them the truth; I was just tagging along. The girl doing the name badges laughed and said I must be a party slut. I told her that she had no idea how accurate that was. Then, since it was a private thing, my friend BS’d them and told them I had graduated with them. They asked my name again and I was about to tell them when the girl reached out and stuck a name badge onto my chest. All it said was ‘The Slut’. We all got a kick out of that and she started making a new one but I stopped her. I told her I’d just keep the ‘true’ one.

That became the highlight of the party. You see, it had occurred to me that I had a very unique opportunity. I was at a party where not too many people really knew me. They all had been drinking for a couple of hours before we arrived and they all had name badges. Real ones. The light bulb in my head told me that this had all the makings of a great evening. Besides, I got free drinks. Gotta love that.

So we mingled. I truthfully don’t remember all the conversations I had but that name tag sure got me noticed. I do remember bumping into this one guy and I started acting like I had known him all my life. His name was Kevin (name badges are cool!) and when we bumped I said “Hey Kevin! It’s been a long time bud!” He looked me over and laughed at my name badge then mentioned that I didn’t look familiar. I said, “C’mon man. Don’t you remember that party around Homecoming? We had a blast!” (I knew everybody partied around Homecoming) He said “Do you mean that bonfire? Out at 'so and so’ field?” Me; “Yeah, now you’ve got it. I was worried that you had forgotten that night.” And so the conversation went. He ‘remembered’ all the crazy stuff we had done together. He remembered a lot of stuff that obviously didn’t happen but it sure sounded like fun. I'm sorry I missed it. ;)

Later I was at the bar and there was a beautiful blond girl nearby. I looked over and said “Hey Cindi.” She looked at me like she didn’t know me. Surprise! :) I said, “You don’t remember me do you? All those years in the same school and all the times we partied together. I’m bummed.” She got all sympathetic and said she was sorry but she didn’t remember me. I said “Don’t you remember that time at Tammy and Brenda’s party? When that guy had treated you so bad?” (I had seen her talking to those 2 mutual friends of ours. She didn’t know me but we did know them. I just guessed that some guy had treated her badly.) She said “That was you?” I smiled and said, “Yep that was me. I think it’s the beard throwing you off. I didn’t have it in school. Besides, I wouldn’t forget you. No one else in school spelled Cindi with an I.” That did it. Instantly she and I were long lost friends and she had missed me soooo much. We spent quite a bit of time ‘catching up’ and eventually I got her number.

That was how the whole evening went. I floated in and out of ‘old friends’ lives all night. I got a few numbers. I had many many free drinks. Sometimes people really didn’t remember me and that was OK. There were plenty of people who did. I felt right at home. The friends who brought me there got a huge kick out of ‘The Party Slut’. Still to this day the story comes up when get together. I’m famous for knowing no one but everyone. What a slut.

Whistle While You Work...

I was walking across the parking lot earlier when I noticed that I was whistling. It was a happy tune but I couldn't remember what it was. It drove me nuts for about an hour before it came to me; I was whistling the theme from The Smurfs.

Wtf? Who whistles the Smurfs music?

Apparently I do.

My Final Dentist Visit, For Now

My trip to the Dentist on Valentine's Day was interesting. Interesting in that it was vey quick and not what I had expected. Did everyone but me know that in order to get a tooth fixed and capped it takes 3 seperate visits? I didn't know that and when I mention it to someone they look at me like I'm a dope. In defense of me, it was my first cap/crown... whatever you want to call it.

So after all the previous visits that took at least 45 minutes to an hour, this time I was in and out in less than 30. 15 minutes in the chair. It was pretty anti-climactic. I was kind of disappointed in a way. At least I didn't get those damn needles in my gums again.

The best part of the visit was when the Dental assistant and the Dentist were talking about when the first X-Ray in history was done. The Assistant was sure that it was performed in 1492. The Dentist told her that she had X-Rays and Columbus mixed up. But she kept insisting that the first one was done in 1492. The Dentist was getting a little flustered. I was trying not to laugh and for a change it wasn't too hard for me. I had a mouth full of gauzy stuff so I managed. But it was funny.

For the record, the first XRay was accidentally done on 8 Nov, 1895, by Wilhelm Conrad Röntgen. The whole thing took off from there. The Doc was very close in his estimate. The Assistant must not have realized that XRays need electricity. The whole thing was funny but made me a bit wary of her messing around with my teeth. What else does she have misconstrued?

Does everyones Dentist also give you crap about flossing? Mine does. But I have never flossed. Ever. If I needed to, wouldn't I have seen some kind of difficulty before now? I think so. That's what I told them. The Doc didn't really know what to say to that so I take it as a victory for me. I have only two problem teeth and they are the same two that eventually everyone has break down when they get older. I'm not worried.

So I'm finally done with the Dentist. For now at least. In 6 months, we'll see. Maybe I'll just wait another 4 years before going back again.

Wtf-ever

Bleeeech!

Sometimes AI makes me sick!










Thanks. That was fun. :)

What Would John Wayne Think?

So now that Brokeback Mountain is a hit, Willie Nelson (gah! it creeps me out just writing that name!) has released a song about cowboys being gay. I guess the timing is right. Some lyrics: "A small town don't like it when a cowboy has feelings for men," and "I believe to my soul that inside every man there's the feminine."

Seems like another American icon is falling by the wayside. The Cowboy was pretty much the manliest of men. Not after this year is over.

I have to wonder what John Wayne would say about all this 'gay cowboy' stuff. I'll bet he's rolling over in his grave.

Break Up Day

Today is the #1 break-up day of the year. I didn't know that until I heard it in the news this morning. The day after Valentines Day is the time most break-ups occur. When people who really don't want to be together finally call it quits.

I wonder why? Why would people wait until Valentine's is over? Why wouldn't they avoid the sham of it all? It seems to me that the time just before Christmas would be better. Then you avoid all the Christmas shopping, the New Years Eve parties with someone you really don't want to be with and eventually the Valentine's Day stuff.

I've heard of people breaking up just before one or other person's birthday. I knew a guy who did that twice in high school. I think he wanted to save some cash for whoever was next in line. Yes, he was and still is a jerk.

So I guess today could be kind of a sad day. Unless you are doing the breaking up. Then it may feel liberating. But the whole idea weirds me out a little. The day after the most romantic day of the year should be spent in the afterglow. Not hitting the road. Personally I like afterglow. It's a warm fuzzy that lasts a while. Or at least it should. And I don't get many warm fuzzies anymore.

So if you are feeling like you are in the wrong relationship, don't end it today. Don't add to the sad statistics. Break the chain, be a rebel, go against the flow, be different..... wait and dump the loser tomorrow. :)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek it's own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.



Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

And now abide faith, hope love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Monday's Suck

Why do Monday's suck so badly on Blogger? Where is everyone?

Maybe I Should Stop Talking

Earlier today I was talking with someone and they noticed that I had the sniffles. Nothing serious, just a slight sniffle. She asked if I was OK and I answered, "Yeah, I think my nose just needs a blow job." Silence.

I didn't even mean to say anything like that.

Then I was talking with someone else about lunch. I said in passing that I had Beef Stroganoff. They looked at me funny and said, "What were you doing?" Apparently we were supposed to be talking about the weekend not what we had for lunch. My short attention span got me again. Nice.

I think I'll keep more quiet the rest of the afternoon.

Johari Window

I got this idea from Summer. It's called a Johari Window. It's a way to see if my blog friends see me as I see myself. Go here to pick the 5 traits that you think I have. Then we'll compare.

Oh, and be kind, OK? :)

BS Friday Answer

I'm finally able to get onto the blog for the answer to the BS Friday story. The story is all true. Surprised Jody? It seems like I have surprised you a few times lately.

I worked at the Humane Society for almost 6 years. It's a tough place to be. I went there because of my love for animals. After dealing with an idiotic and uncaring public, killing a few thousand anilmals a year and trying to be the best Animal Cruelty Investigator I could be but finding out that no one cared about that either, I got burnt out. I was in my mid 20's, developing an ulcer and developing a real bad attitude. I walked away from that job with no other job, no savings and no prospects. It was one of the best feelings I ever had the day I left.

That Chow dog got me in about my 2nd year. It taught me some valuable lessons. Most importantly that not all of the animals that came through those doors could be saved. We had so many coming in that I needed to learn when to try and save one and when to ignore the pain in my gut when their time came. It sucked. I do not miss it.

It took weeks to recover from the attack. My friend and co-worker was hurt pretty badly too. It took him some extra time to recover. I have a picture somewhere of me all bandaged up about a week after the attack. I'll post it when I find it.

All in all, it was a good time in my life. I have volunteered many many hours since leaving. I even won volunteer of the year once for putting in the most hours. That happened a couple years after I had left and started my BioTech career. I was much better mentally and emotionally then.

So there you have it. Another one for the books. Thanks once again to those who played along. It's been real. ;)

Peachy Thinks I'm A Dork

She really does. Just because I do not understand some people's need to breed. Having kids is a foreign thought to me and I just don't get it.

"Not that there's anything wrong with that!" I don't think there is. I just do not get it.

I'm not sure if I understand adoption less or if I can appreciate it more. I could see it because you don't ruin your body when you adopt. But you still have the same result in the end; permanent heartache.

Obviously I do think about it a lot.

Ah, well. There are just some mysteries of the universe that some of us were never meant to understand. Count me in that crowd.

BS Friday

Welcome once again to BS Friday. I'll write it and you tell me if it's real or just plain old BS. Today's Post is called: Off With His Head!

My first real job out of high school was with the Humane Society. I started out there as a kennel worker, worked my way into the Shelter Manager's position and eventually became the first officially recognized Animal Cruelty Investigator for the county. It was a good job but one that will give you ulcers way before your time.

Anyway, my first year there was a learning experience to say the least. One of the hardest lessons came at the hands, or I should say teeth, of a Chinese Chow Chow. Let's just say he took me to school for real.

This particular Chow was brought into the shelter by its owner just because he was tired of having him. It's bad enough when someone does that to their pet but if you know dogs and understand Chows in general, you know what a problem this can be. For the most part, a Chinese Chow is a one person dog. They grow up and become bonded to one person and they are loyal and dedicated to that person pretty much forever. When someone decides to just toss one away after raising it from a puppy, the poor thing is lost, sometimes permanently.

That's what happened here. The guy had raised this Chow from a pup and it only liked him. When he left, the dog became unapproachable. It would calmly look at you as you went by its cage but if you looked like you were heading its way it attacked the cage door trying to get to you. It was a sight to see!

We had to keep it penned in a secure, private area away from the public. We didn't want to just put it to sleep right away without giving it a chance so we did try to teach him that people were OK. I spent hours in front of that cage trying to befriend that dog. For nearly 2 weeks the poor thing wouldn't let anyone near it. After a long time and lots of patience I slowly started to get through.

I don't remember just how long I worked with him but eventually I was able to get inside the cage and groom him and sit with him. Not long after that I decided he needed some exercise, so I got a leash and got him to go outside for a walk. It was a nice day and he acted like he was enjoying himself immensely. Little did I know. You see, I didn't count on the breed's loyalty to one person. I also didn't count on my 'new friend' being a total actor. I paid for it.

Once he was outside and had taken a nice walk complete with a dump and whiz, he started digging his paws into the ground and kicking clods of turf back like a bull does. I thought it was funny. Turns out that is a sign of dominance and aggressiveness. Next thing I knew the dog turned and looked at me, bared his teeth and started growling in a very menacing manner. If you’ve never been stared at by a Chow baring it’s tteth and looking like he wants to eat you, you just haven’t lived!

Suddenly he leaped up on me, snapping and growling, trying to get at my throat. Luckily I had quick reflexes and all he got was my hand as I blocked his attack. But a Chow is bred for fighting and he got that hand and didn’t let go. He tried to pull it off of me. I fell backwards and he still was on top of me, shaking his head violently trying to get his 5 finger meal. I started punching him in the nose as hard as I could. Soon enough that worked and he left go but he didn’t stop attacking. He grabbed my elbow an ripped it to shreds. Nothing I did stopped the beast. I tried to back away and get inside. I was hurting too badly at this point to fight plus I was now a one armed combatant.

I managed to get to the steps but he knocked me down again. Somehow he ripped my jeans to pieces right behind the knees. The jeans and the legs. I got inside and when the Shelter Director saw that I was leaking red stuff profusely all over the place, she immediately helped me try to stop the bleeding.

Eventually I ended up in the hospital. I had some surgery on the hand and stitches on the elbow and legs. While I was there they brought in one of my coworkers with injuries too. He was a hero. Some people had pulled up to come inside to look around and the damn Chow was still lurking outside. It jumped right into the back of the car and was drooling all over some kids when the guy grabbed the still attached leash and drug it out. Of course the dog ripped him up a little too.

It was a loooong day. The Directors husband ended up having to come by with his gun and shoot the dog. It couldn’t be restrained. I got back to the shelter late in the evening for one specific reason. You may ask wtf I was doing going back after all that so I’ll tell you. Back then the only way to test an animal for rabies was to cut off its head and send it, brain intact, to a lab for testing. I stood by, all gimpy and one handed, just to make sure the head was chopped and I could rest easy knowing it was done. A little vindictive but more so for the comfort of being sure it was done.

To this day I can’t stand even seeing a Chow on the streets.

Five Things & A Brief Explanation

Betty tagged me two days ago with this and I am just now getting around to it. Sorry Betty but I am a slacker and all....

The Instructions: Name five of life's simple pleasures that you like, then tag five people to do the same. Try to be original and creative.

(Since I think these things can change given life's ups & downs, I will add the disclaimer that my list comes from my current state of mind. Next week the list may just be different.)

1. Having my Uncle just drop in to say hi. He's been doing that a lot lately and it drives my Aunt crazy. She always complains that she can't get him to go anywhere. These days he will come to my place without even being asked. This is especially satisfying due to my reminder last week about how little time I probably have left to hang with him.

2. Finding out that the version you had in your head of someone's personality is exactly right. This happened to me recently and it was a fun revelation. A lot of the time when you have an idea of what someone must be like you end up being disappointed. Not this time around.

3. Watching the Yankees win. Any game, any time is special. It sounds corny but it is the truth. I feel great after the Yanks win even in Spring Training. Imagine how unbearable I am when they win the World Series. Oh yeah!

4. Seeing Abby (my kitty) and Nicci cuddled up in bed. I always stay up later than them and when I come into the room they are cuddled together and asleep. Abby usually opens one eye and checks me out then just goes right back to sleep. They look adorable. (Grossed out yet?)

5. A nice zesty session. Especially an unplanned one. You add the details.



Now I've gotta tag 5 people...

- Cindy Lou, Ian (I don't give breaks like Summer does Ian), Meritt, Karen (if she will) & Quyen.

Jumble

I was just curious about something; who decided that giving candy to your sweetie for Valentine's Day was a good idea? It seems to me that could go either way. You could be accused of trying to make her fat or you could be a big time hero. You can't be a hero if you get crappy candy though. I am lucky since Nicci loves Godiva Chocolates. She may not want to gain the weight but she sure doesn't refuse that gift. Besides, I like it too. I normally won't eat chocolate but Godiva Truffles are really good.

So tell me, what is the best Valentine's present out there? I am curious.

Yesterday I was working on my pick-up lines with Peachy. No, not on purpose. I was looking at this music book and I remembered that she had mentioned playing the piano. I got to her desk and leaned over a little to show her some notes and ask her if she could read them. Next thing I know she was leaning away and giggling at me, asking if I was hitting on her. I was stunned for a moment. I had no idea what she meant. She said that I did that smoothly like I was trying to hit on her. I kinda liked that. Now I have a new way to hit on women in book stores. And it's all natural too. Not that it will do me any good but I can keep it in the pocket and hopefully remember it if I ever need it. Maybe when I'm 90 years old and looking to score. I wonder if I'll even remember what sex is when I'm 90? I'll let you know.

Anybody else notice that the Powerball is up to about 250 million bucks? I sure did and when I win it you all will know. Not that I'll come out and admit it but I will most likely be running all around the world and my blogging will be sporadic. Besides, posting from a dozen different countries is one way you'll know. I will be visiting all my best blogger buds and spreading the cheer too so maybe it won't be too big a secret. Just be prepared. I'm feelin lucky!

I had to post this pic of Teri Hatcher at the Grammy's. Now tell me that isn't a sexy outfit! Wow! The shoes really do it for me too. YB likes!




She just seems to get better with age... like a fine wine. :)

Flashback

I am having flashbacks again. Earlier I had a banana and it was the one from the bunch with the sticker on it. I remembered that when I was a kid my siblings and I would argue over who would get the banana with the sticker. Then when we would finally figure out who was the one to get that magic banana, the person who won it wore that sticker on their forehead all day. Or until it didn't stick anymore.

It was worth it since that banana with the sticker was always the best tasting one. :)



That made me think about how we would also argue about who got to have the piece of ham with the bone in it. Every time we had one of those big flat slices of ham, once it was cooked and cut up we were all after the chunk with the round bone in it. We could argue about anything it would seem.

Of course, that piece of ham was also the best one.



Funny the weird things one can remember about their childhood. Just because of a blue Chiqita Banana sticker.



She is kinda cute though, dontcha think? ;)

Quiz Time Again

What is the best substitute for a writers block? Why, Quizzes of course. It seems like my brain is out of the loop when it comes to blogging lately. I'm sure I'll find it again soon somewhere. But for now, here are a few things to waste some time on. That last one is scary. I'm not sure what I think of it. :)





The Roaring 20's

You love the idea of throwing off the shackles of

propriety! You'll take a bottle of gin and a

hot dance, ducky! Let's Charleston!


Which Era Do You Belong In? (11 Results w Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla





May

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly

motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.

Attracts others and loves attention. Deep

feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally.

Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily

consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to

dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.

Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good

imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing.

Loves literature and the arts. Loves

traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless.

Not having many children.Hardworking. High

spirited. Spendthrift.


What Does Your Birth Month Reveal About You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hmmm... You scored 67% Cold and 38% Level-Headed!

You can kill a man, but don't hide the fact that you're ending a life from yourself. Look at the reality of that situation.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 88% on Cold You scored higher than 2% on Level-Headed

Link: The Can You Kill a Man? Test written by notmarkflynn on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

WTF Will I Write Today?

I really don't have much to write about this morning. I'm just stopping by so everyone knows I'm still alive. The morning coffee is brewed and sucked down and now I need to get some work done. This month is the heaviest of the year for me and I'm kind of enjoying it. It makes the time fly by.

Today I'll be springing for burgers since I won the football pool. I'm still not sure how much I won but I am sure that it won't show up on my taxes. ;)

Cindy-Lou, your burger is on the way.

You know what's the best thing about mornings here? When Peachy walks in she comes by the door and says "Good morning" in her sweet morning voice. Go ahead and laugh, cringe, guffaw, whatever.... it makes me smile. Thanks Peachy for your bright morning cheer.

(That's called 'embarrassing a friend early in the morning'. Try it, it's fun!)

OK, enough wasting time. I'll try to be back with more substance later. Hasta la bye bye!

Monday Morning Smiling

So it's Monday. Again. It seems like Mondays come way more often than Fridays, doesn't it? I feel like they do anyway. This Monday is not so bad though. Why? Well because I won the Superbowl pool at work, that's why! I don't know how much I won, but I don't care. Winning something is cool! (and rare)

I watched the game with detached interest. I wasn't really bothered about who would win or not. I leaned toward Pittsburgh, but it really didn't matter to me. When I saw they won me money, well then I was suddenly a Steelers fan. For about a minute, I was anyway.

Here's something interesting; our Superbowl poll was pretty accurate. Most thought the Steelers would win. Personally I thought the commercials were a bit lame this year. One thing we missed on the Poll is that no one voted for the Referees. They sure did change the game. I think they missed quite a few calls in there. Mostly against the Seahawks too. I knew I should have voted for the Refs. ;) We needed Ed Hocule in there to keep those guys straight! (Right Peachy?)

So it looks like I'll be buying the burgers tomorrow. That's OK. All in all, this particular Monday morning isn't quite as bad as most. I hope yours has something to look forward to too. :)


Latest Poll results:

Who will win the Superbowl?

Selection Votes
The Steelers 29% 8
The Seahawks 14% 4
The Advertisers 11% 3
The half-time show stars 0% 0
The people watching 0% 0
The people who don't watch 14% 4
Who cares!?! 21% 6
The referees 0% 0
The City of Detroit 0% 0
The TIVO people (remember - wardrobe malfunction?) 11% 3

28 votes total

Halftime

The first half of the Superbowl is over. The Steelers are doing all they can to lose. It has been quite a boring game so far. I hope the teams kick it in the second half.

The Stones are doing the halftime show. I'm glad they got someone decent this year. The shows the past few years have been pretty shoddy.

I got a good laugh at the beginning though. The national anthem this year was the worst I can ever remember. Aretha still has the pipes, to be sure and Dr. John is great, but that version of our national song really sucked ass. Who ever thought Aaron Neville could sing was an idiot in the first place, but to put him out there with Aretha really showed how bad he is.

Can you believe that Mick is 60ish? He sure doesn't seem like it. Now Keith Richards... well he always did look like the walking dead anyway. He doesn't look much different but that's not really a compliment. :)

How about all the Blockbuster Ads? They sure sunk some money into advertising this year. I think they are feeling the heat from the online rental companies like Netflix.

As for the Ads, so far I am disappointed. With the exception of the 'Streaking' one, they aren't the best so far.

Let's hope the second half is better. Maybe this would help?




Maybe not.

Long Weekend

Normally I like the sound of that... a long weekend. This one hasn’t been a bad one. It would have been nice to be off an extra day without the death in the family. But hey, who am I to blow against the wind?

The one thing about funerals is that you get to see family members that you haven’t seen in a while. Weddings, birthdays, whatever else happens, not everyone shows up. Have a funeral; pretty much the whole family comes. Ours does at least.

I sat in the funeral parlor and watched the remaining members of our family for a while. Two things struck me; first, our family has shrunk dramatically and second, I have sat in that very same room for so many funerals that I can’t even count the times now. Over the span of 30-plus years that I can remember we have had so many family members travel through that very same room.

It just doesn’t seem like that long ago when our family was pretty big. I am now down to three Aunts and two Uncles. No Grandmothers or Grandfathers, no Dad, not so many blood relatives left. There was a time when a funeral service for our family in that same room was too much for the place. It would be standing room only and even then they had to open the large room adjacent to it to fit everyone in. Now we don’t even fill the one side of the main room.

Our family gatherings were huge too. We used to rent the Fire Hall meeting room for birthdays. When my favorite Aunt would host her annual 4th of July gathering, the place was jammed all day long. It was great. This past 4th of July, we all fit into her dining room.

I am feeling the effect of mortal souls, as an old friend of mine used to like to say.

Sitting in that room, going to the cemetery and to the reception after was harder this time. Mostly because I know I’ll be there again. I still have some dear ones that will eventually end up there. They are all older now and planning their trips through that room. I’m even responsible for my Aunt & Uncle’s estate when their time comes. That’s a weird thing to talk to someone about. It’s like planning an end to an era. That will really suck!

Hold onto your loved ones today. This long weekend has refreshed in my mind how limited our time together really is. It has also refreshed in my mind the truth about how things change so much and not always for the better. Hold onto them and give them a hug for me too. :)

Aunt Millie

Here is the promised picture of my Aunt Millie, circa 1936ish.






Isn't it cool!?!

Good Advice

"Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it." George Costanza

It's About That Time...

I still see a lot of houses decorated for Christmas. They are even lit up like Christmas is on the way. I think thats strange. It's February and these people are still lighting up for Christmas. Maybe they are just staying ready for Christmas 2006? Maybe. I think it's about that time people, just put the stuff in the garage and get over it.

I'm a little down today. One of my Aunts died and I will be going to the viewing tonight. I'm not one who believes in viewings but it's something I do for my family. Tomorrow I will be going to the funeral. I may even be a pallbearer. (Is that the right spelling?) That would be weird.

She was an interesting old gal. Aunt Millie. Yes, that is her name. Everyone just called her Sis. I have no idea why. I have this really cool picture of her somewhere that I will post later. It is from 1936 or 1937, I can't rememebr for sure. But it is cool. Anyway, Sis never married. She had a serious beau (as she called him) for a few years way back when, but he broke her heart. She never tried again. She lived to be 95! Imagine all that time alone all because of that one broken romance. Kinda sad and romantic all at the same time.

So tomorrow posting will be light. Today, posting may be strange. I'm in a bit of a funky mood. We'll just see how it goes, eh?

Expresso?

The new little boss, as Peachy likes to call him, just left here. He was telling us about this great expresso he got used to in Florida. He just kept saying expresso over and over and even though I pointedly kept saying espresso, he never got the hint.

That makes me crazy. WTF is an expresso? Dork.

Rough Morning!

These pretzels are making me thirsty!!!

A State Of The Union View

Come, take us to our morning
where we shine
and take us to the twilight
of our time
where we believe the lies
left behind
that deceive even us.

And show us the folly
of our jest
where we are the cream
of the best
with rose colored glasses,
jackets and vests
that deceive even us.

Now, show us the reality
of our world
where we march headlong
flags unfurled
into the jaws of the lion
whose lips are curled
to devour even us.


"Blind faith in your leaders or in anything will get you killed." Bruce Springsteen