Caution: True Confessions Ahead

I received my friend Lana's CD yesterday and I've played it several times through. It's excellent. (See the post from 8/22, then check it out.) This kind of thing always gets me into a weird place in my head. I'm thinking of how excited for her I am and how happy it makes me to see a friend start to make their dreams happen. Without perseverance and the determination to stick with something, nothing will happen. Lana has stuck with the music and it's starting to pay off. I hope she does well.

I think that there are a lot of talented people in the world who don't have that determination in them. People who could make their dreams happen, but can't get past the bumps and just give up. I know I'm that way. I'm no musician, to be sure, but I have been blessed with the talent for drawing/painting pretty much anything I want to. I've had opportunities to expand and refine the talent and possibly make it a career, but the bumps were too big for me to face. More than twice I've chosen the safe way. Get a job. Pay the bills. Don't take chances. Sheesh!

I admire those who keep going ahead with what they want and find a way to make it happen. People who can stay focused on a goal and don't let obstacles stop them. "Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal." (A quote from something my 10th grade English teacher gave me. Maybe she saw something then?)

A friend once told me he tries to live a life without regrets. That he tries to take every opportunity given him and make the best of it. He said he didn't want to look back when he was old and see missed opportunities. I thought he was full of crap at the time. His whole lifestyle seemed like a joke to me. But looking back with older eyes, I realize he was and still is right where he wants to be. (He's still an art teacher, and his private art business does well.) I guess that's the key, knowing where you want to be. Then you have to have the right mindset to get there.

Lana follows her chosen path. I have another friend who dropped everything and moved to San Francisco to start a new life. Still another who dropped a career and started a new one, just because it's what she wanted to do. I admire them all very much for what they've done.

As for me, I'm good at what I do, but it's not where I want to be. I don't even believe it's where I was meant to be. I wonder how you find the nerve to move forward to something new? Obviously I don't know. I'm still here.