Lawyers Are Like Terrorists

I've come to believe that being a lawyer is pretty much like being a terrorist. I don't like to generalize because I know the majority of them are probably OK. But no one wants to hear, "I'm calling my lawyer!" Everyone is so afraid of being sued these days. Many have a hard time functioning. Doctors are leaving the profession due to malpractice insurance costs going so high which is due in part to opportunistic lawyers getting rich on others misfortune. Teachers can't discipline students for fear of being taken to court. Check out the news. There are many other examples of things such as these.

How about these class action suits we keep hearing about? The so called beneficiaries of the awarded money get meaningless amounts of change after the lawyers collect their fees, which usually amount to very large amounts of change. I received something in the mail about one of these class action things last year where all I had to do was send in this form confirming I was one of the 'injured parties' and I could receive my $1.72 award. Wow! I have to wonder what the lawyers fees were, though.

And all the frivolous lawsuits, like the guy in Boston a few years ago awarded thousands from a bicycle manufacturer because he was hit by a car while riding at night, but the bike didn't come with instructions stating that you should have lights on at night. Duh! And the famous McDonald's coffee is too hot lawsuit. Geez! (Remember on Seinfeld when they made fun of that one?) I wonder if I can sue now because I think the coffee isn't hot enough? Now fat people-oops! overweight people are suing MickeyD's for making them fat. Please! Do McDonald's workers really drag people in and force feed them? I kinda doubt it.

We have gun manufacturers being sued for people using their products to hurt others. Cigarette manufacturers paying through the nose for people deciding to smoke. Strangely, there hasn't been any attacks on beer/liquor manufacturers (that I've heard) even though alcohol is the most abused drug there is. The point is, people decide on their own what to do with the different products available. Lawyers just help them to believe that the end result of that usage was someone else's fault thereby giving them a chance to be rich.

This is the age of no responsibility. The people have spoken and they say everything that happens is someone else's fault. They say they can't be held responsible for things they do and, damn it, they've got the litagation papers to prove it! What's worse is, the judges and/or juries have been agreeing with them!

Soon we will be at a point where we need laywers for everything, just to feel safe about going out at night. Maybe that is their secret plan! I remember in the movie Americathon (A supposedly futuristic America movie starring John Ritter) when the guy was trying to pick up the girl in a bar and there was a lawyer on call to negotiate the 'pick-up'. It was a pretty funny scene, but what if it would be real? You may be able to sue someone soon for hurting your feelings just by not saying hello on the street. That could be misconstrued as you creating an uncomfortable situation for someone else. We have been taught that that is a big no no. Scary thought, eh? And being afraid is what terrorists want, isn't it?