Gabby Hayes has been talking about her impending wedding plans for some time now. Peachy wrote a little about it recently too. Personally I have to wonder about being with someone for 7 years and still not having real plans but hey, what do I know about relationships anyway? She sure does like to complain about stuff though. Not just her stuff but other peoples wedding stuff too.
But she made me start wondering about wedding ceremonies in general. For instance, she is thinking about having the ceremony in some far off place like Tahiti or the Bahamas. Some of the family can’t afford to go. How fair is that? I can see that being a useful tool to keep people away that you really don’t want to invite anyway. But I’m like Peachy, "damn the politics"! If I don’t want someone there I won’t invite them. But having a wedding that far away seems weird to me. Little Boss is doing the same thing. She’s getting married in the Dominican Republic. I think those places are cool, but only for a honeymoon, not a wedding ceremony.
Mostly I think weddings suck anyway. Forcing people to travel for a wedding sucks even more. It’s just a big show that costs a bunch of money and means the same thing as a little show that costs less. I think spending the big bucks on a honeymoon makes more sense. All the stress planning the big show and getting it to work out isn’t worth it. People go nuts planning the thing.
I especially liked hearing Gabby’s thoughts about people coming without gifts. She says the ones without gifts are the first to get pissed when there isn’t open bar. I really have no experience with that. (With the possible exception of having helped run up the tab on a few open bars.) But coming to a wedding without a gift seems wrong too. Do people really do that? Maybe if I had to spend money on traveling to Tahiti I would feel like just my presence was enough of a gift. Then I could see me showing up without a real gift.
One thing I never understood about weddings is the way the gift opening is such a big deal. Who wants to stand around for 3 hours watching people open gifts that sometimes they don’t even want? Those fake, forced smiles are pretty obvious sometimes. And don’t get me started on the whole ‘receiving line’ idea. That is nerve wracking.
It all seems like a big bunch of wind, piss and excitement anyway. With the divorce rate up to and heading over 50%, its like weddings are just a prelude to divorce anymore. Maybe there should be a big time divorce ceremony now. Since weddings and divorces happen with the same frequency, why don’t people have big parties for both? There would be some fun at those divorce parties for sure. They would be another reason for more presents too. Might as well have some fun on both ends of a relationship.
All in all, I guess I don’t understand the whole ‘pomp and circumstance’ of big, flashy wedding ceremonies. I also don’t understand people who go to weddings and complain about everything. I think the ceremonies mean little. It is what the couples feel about each other that really matters. Who needs to show off for someone when you know what it is you feel? What the crowd thinks about it is all abba-dabba anyway. Plus, the ceremony should be all about the bride. Who am I or anyone else to question what it is they want on that day? Just “Wash your butt, get dressed and come to the wedding” is what Gabby Hayes likes to say. I think for one day out of my life, I can handle that.
Occasionally.
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