Rural America Rules!

On the way home I stopped in the Post Office in this tiny little hick town. I had to since all the Post Offices were about to close. I was pleasantly surprised. It was a clean little place and the Postmaster was the only one there. She was so helpful and friendly. It was a nice change from what I was used to.

Then this guy came in. The stereotypical redneck looking type, all greasy haired, Ozzy t-shirt with holes, a John Deere hat on. Kinda gross. I tried not to judge by his appearance though. I know that is a bad thing to do. Then he started talking (around the big chew in his bottom lip).

Big Red: "Hey Honey, I needs some of them two cents stamps."
Postmaster: "Ok, how many do you need?"
Big Red: "Well, hows about a dollars worth? I think thas po-lenty."
Postmaster: "Really. That is a lot. Are you sure you need that many?"
Big Red: "Oh, jus how many is it?"
Postmaster: (smiling) "Uhmm, its 50. They are 2 cents a piece."
Big Red: "50 huh? Ok maybe I only need one dollars worth."
Postmaster: "That is still 50. Are you sure you want that many?"
Big Red: "Oh, did I jus say that agin? I meant I only wanted to spend a dollar. I need some twos and however many a dollar gets."
Postmaster: (looking confused) "Uhmm, did you get a book of $.37 stamps and you need the 2 cent ones to go with it?"
Big Red: "Yep, I think that's what she got. The woman didn't tell me how many. Jus a book full is what she got."
Postmaster: "Ok, I think you just need enough to go with the book. There are 20 in your wife's book. That will be $.40."

Now Big Red reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pile of change and slaps it onto the counter. He then tells her to take what she needs and to keep the rest for a tip "since ya'all been so sweet and all."

I left at that point but I tell you, I did need the laugh and I appreciated it. Even I couldn't make up a guy like that.