I'm A Bastard

I've come to the conclusion that I am really a bastard child. I know I'm not really but what I mean by that is that although I do know who my parents are, neither of them taught me anything other than what not to do or what not to be. So in essence, I grew up all by myself.

I came to this conclusion recently after having a log conversation with Nicci about my mother. Nicci has done everything possible to be friendly and nice with the woman and recently for no real reason she has started attacking her. My mom is one of those people who stirs up shit constantly. If things are going well, she can't stand it. So now shes inventiing things to be annoyed at Nicci for that don't really exist. The problem there is that Nicci has less patience than I do with stuff like that. In her words, "To hell with her then. I've done what I could do."

The basic conclusion to our recent conversation was that I honestly won't feel anything when she finally kicks off. I've said it before and after going through all the ifs/ands/buts of it I realize that I'd prefer she kicks it soon. I don't want to be bothered later. Plus, if she does go soon then I get 3 paid days off work. Nothing like free days off work to help you appreciate someone. At least she has that going for her. :)

I felt nothing when my dad died. Only happy that they let me out of school for a few days without getting into trouble. My mom will give the same benefit. Not that I'm wishing it on her. Just that I won't care a bit when it happens.

It's kinda been a strange ride growing up and then dealing with the aftermath, getting to where I am. My father had serious problems with drinking. He died in a fire when I was in 10th grade. I didn't really know him anyway since he was not around after I was maybe 8-9 years old. I do remember that when he was sober he was a cool guy. He was a talented artist and a kid at heart. I do remember all that.

My mother, well, shes a freak. Not someone I'd care to ever know. If it weren't for my Aunts and Uncle I'd probably never see her. Shes a strange person who just can't see the world like it is. Shes in some fantasy reality where no one else lives. She just thinks we do.

I really have no idea how I've gotten to where I am today. I guess living on my own since I was 13 and totally ignoring the teachings of the weirdos who bred and created me was a good thing. They are prime examples of why some people should not be allowed to breed. Anyone can make a baby. Few can care for it properly.

My mother is also a prime example of how you can get stuck with some relation that you would never, ever want to know otherwise. Just because you are related doesn't obligate you to hang with someone. Not if they suck.

I'm glad Nicci has seen first hand what I warned her about when it comes to my family. I didn't have to try to convince her. She has been convinced by the mothers stupidity all on her own.

There is some kind of small comfort in feeling like I am a bastard child. It's liberating somehow. Wish I had thought about it like this earlier in life.

Of course, sometimes I could be referred to as a bastard, but at times like that there is a different meaning to the word. :)

Interruptions, Interruptions!

I hate interruptions too. When I am zoned and one with the universe I don't want to be bothered.

I get this, but more importantly..................







................. look at the way her boobs are drawn. Yikes! :)

My New Philosophy

The other day I came to this conclusion.

I want to live my next life backwards;
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

The Greatest Holiday Of The Year

Next Monday is the greatest holiday of the year. Is everybody ready for it? I am. I'll tell you where I'll be and what I'll be doing that day too. I'll be home, hanging in front of the big screen, watching the Yankees on ESPN HD.

Opening day is next Monday in Yankee Stadium. Its Opening Day elsewhere too but they don't count. I never work on Baseball Opening Day. (Not on my Birthday either but thats a different thing.) This year is sweet because the game is actually on ESPN, not another stunky network. Sometimes I don't get to see the Yanks so I am really happy. Its the next best thing to being there I guess.

But what could be better than being in Yankee Stadium on Opening Day?

Well, being there as they win the Series would be better, but you get my meaning. :)

So I am already psyched for next week. The pitching will be better this year and thats all we lacked last year. It should end up being a kick ass Summer.

The long, long off season is almost over. Life is good again. Anyone else as wired about it as I am? Other than you Karen. I already know the answer to that question. :)

Conference Call Education

I had to sit in on a conference call today. It was for a project that we are working on for a big time, world-wide agency. (I can't say which one but people in this business all know them.) I was impressed at the list and level of people I was 'hanging' with during this call. The big cheeses, Scientists, Government people. It was impressive. At least it would be if you are not me that is. :)

Personally, I think I should be impressed. I think I should feel privileged to be a part of such a huge project. But mostly what I learned at this conference call was that big time scientists sure like to hear themselves talk. (The other thing I learned was that my boss breathes really hard! He is noisy!) Worse yet, the government cheeses really like to talk too. Our people liked to hear themselves talk away at the same time. It was a lot of talk, talk, talk. I sat there wondering when they would get to my part in the process.

All I cared about was what I needed to do to make sure our end was well covered. I didn't understand much of the science stuff anyway. It was Ok to a point but I'm an equipment guy, not a chemist, a scientist nor a blow hard who likes to hear himself say impossibly big words and all that.

My boss kept saying "When are they going to get to our part?" We had the same thoughts. Even though he understands all the science, he really wanted to know what our part was too.

Then the call was over and our part was never discussed. It was in the minutes to be discussed but it never happened. I felt so lost. Like a floating piece of debris in the ocean. Not needed, not cared for. Just lost.

Yeah, right. :)

So now we will be expected to understand the process, react in milli-seconds when it's time to do our part, and get the stuff made instantaneously without flaw when the time comes to make it. All this without any direction or planning. Impossible?

Piece of cake. :P

Anyway, what have we learned from all this my friends? Nothing much I guess. Mostly that I don't care for conference calls, big time scientists, govt. officials nor heavy breathers. But we all knew that already without having me waste 1.5 hours of my life in a lame conference call. I could have been doing something much more productive like underwater basket weaving or polishing my dog or..................... blogging?

Another Silly Smile

I can't help it:

A guy goes into his new psychiatrists office for his first visit. He is wearing only underwear made from saran wrap. The psychiatrist looks up and says, "Well, I can see your nuts."

Ha ha.

Is anyone else leaving for a sushi buffet lunch right now like I am? Yeah, sorry for you. :P I'll let you know how great it was later.

French Men Don't Get Caught

French Men Don't Get Caught (link to story)

Does having a fling screw up a relationship or could it help it? I read this story on MSN and found it interesting. All the things you hear about people having flings and how the Europeans have such a different perspective on sex is addressed here. It made me curious to see what we all thought about the subject.

My personal views on the subject have always been quite open. I have known friends who had sexual flings and it made them want their partner more than ever. I have also seen the opposite. A relationship can be totally ruined by a moment of weakness and lust. I also know people who have open relationships where they just agree to have fun but never let it come between them. For me, whatever works for the individual is OK.

When I was single I almost exclusively 'dated' married women so I have first hand knowledge that it isn't just men doing it. The idea of 'cheating' never occurred to me then. They were cheating. I wasn't. But I have trouble breaking promises. If I make a promise to someone then I'll keep it. Not that I haven't broken promises. I have broken a few (even very recently) but it isn't something I believe a person should ever do. If you can and have a clear conscience, then I'm not sure what to think about you.

There's the rub, eh? Can it be done with a clear conscience? If so, what leads to that frame of mind? Is it a sociopathic thing? Maybe.

I have posted a couple of new polls to see what people who stop by have to say about it. As Summer would say, vote early, vote often. :)

Brings Back Memories

This comic reminded me of my last job.



Some places have people who just make up rediculous things and call them ideas. Then they force their brilliance on others and when things go to shit they are stunned.

At the last job the big cheese decided to make every afternoon between 1:00 & 2:00 (forgive me if I'm off on the clock time here) quiet time. No talking, no phones, no interpersonal stuff. Just quiet time at your desk to get things like paperwork done and emails answered. I think that was the plan.

Of course, the idea was totally asinine. What person who has clients calling won't answer the phone? Who won't get up and take care of their emergencies or take a chance on missing a deadline for a customer? Nope, not the best idea ever. It totally crashed and burned. Just like any real, sane person would have known before forcing it on everyone else.

Yep, that old job place really did have some doozies running it. This cartoon reminded me of how mush I don't miss it. I barely even remember much from back then. Except the cool people.

Oldies But Goodies

Have you ever heard the descriptions of the older crowd? Like the 80-100 year olds out there? People always say things like, "He can still eat with a fork all by himself" or, "She walks all the way to the bathroom still." Isn't that funny? I guess those are accomplishments for a 100 year old. But I think those are also accomplishments for 1 year olds too. Not that I would have first hand knowledge of it, but kids have those types of milestones in life.

Are they called milestones if you are at the end of your life too? Hmmm...

Consider that kids start out wearing diapers and old people wear them too. Getting out of diapers is a milestone for a kid. I think getting out of diapers for an oldie means they die. Thats sort of a milestone, right?

Kids walking is another big deal. For good reason. But an old person who still walks is something to marvel at. Eating with utensils is another one. Young or old, it's way cool to be doing it. Except young ones go from being fed to feeding themselves. The older ones go from eating by themselves to having to be fed. Not so much a great milestone.

I think it's funny to see the old newpeople talking about other old people too. It's like the pot calling the kettle black. A lot of those stories are done by people who probably have to take breaks during filming to get a new Depends. (Barbara Walters comes to mind.)

Also, an oldie complimenting another oldie for still be able to do something is a little disconcerting. You just know they are saying it while wondering just how long they will be able to keep going themselves. I always think that when my Uncle or Aunt say something like, "That person still drives around by themselves. I wouldn't ride with them but still...." Now thats funny to me.

It's also weird to sit with my Uncle and hear him and his friends talk about their old friends. There is always something wrong with them. They marvel that some of them are still alive. It's a weird thing to listen to.

I have no idea what brought all this to mind this morning. None. :)

Cliffhanger

I've had two visitors already this morning. 7:30 a.m. and already people are bugging me. Don't they realize that the hour before coffee hits the blood stream that I don't want visitors bugging me? Apparently not.

It didn't help that the one guy had a cliffhanger. You know what that is right? Its when a booger is partially hanging out of the nose but the person dosen't notice it. I spent a few minutes wondering if I should mention it or not. I was thinking about it and trying so hard to decide how to say it tactfully that I never really heard what he was saying. So he walked away having wasted his time talking with me because my only memory of his visit was that he had a big old booger hanging out of his right nostril. Nice.

I think I need to post a sign on my door. It will say, "Before coffee o'clock, stay away!" Or something like that. :)

Other news.... well there really isn't much. Lisa is still sick. Makes me sad not to see her every day. She gets these nasty migraines that totally wipe her out. I may blow off the afternoon and go see her. I'm getting Lisa withdraw. I'll be her nurse or something.

My guitar lesson is tonight. I'm looking forward to it. If nothing else, it's fun to sit and play for a while. Rehash some of the old tunes and see how much I remember. Hopefully I'm a good teacher.

Oh yeah! I just remembered! I am going out for a sushi lunch today! There is this awesome place nearby that has a sushi buffet at lunch time. I'm headed there with a friend who I promised lunch a long time ago. She was pregnant and couldn't get sushi so I told her when she was back and able to go I'd take her. She loves sushi as much as I do. So I do have something to look forward to today. That and the end of the day anyway. Cool.

Ha! The Boogie Man just walked by again. From now on I'm always gonna think of him as The Boogie Man. Now I feel like blowing my nose. Go figure.

Smile Of The Day

Two muffins are baking in the oven. One looks at the other and says, "It's hot in here!" The other looks over and says, "Look! A talking muffin!"












Yeah, I know. I just can't help myself. :)

I Wanna Feel Grumpy

Did you ever feel in the mood to be grumpy? I am in the mood to be grumpy today. I don't really feel grumpy but I think I'd like to be. Isn't that strange? I haven't decided to be grumpy yet. Of course, sitting here thinking about being in the mood to be grumpy is making me laugh. Its ruining the mood, y'know? Guess I blew it. :)

I feel relieved today too. After the whirlwind of the past two weeks I have 3 weeks ahead of me of normal, easy schedules. Some of the typical annoyances, sure. But nothing like major projects and big productions and trips all over the swamps of Jersey to worry with. Just normal, everyday stuff. I'm almost not sure what to do with myself this morning.

So I should be back on regular blog schedule for a few weeks. Looks that way at least.

We added two more closet organizers over the weekend. That should be the end of it. It sounds like a simple job but the thing is, the house is old. The shelf (yes, just one per closet) was nailed into the plaster with about 150 nails each. So taking them out sucked. Then fixing the walls and painting had to be done before installing. But it was worth the effort. Now we are all neat and organized.

I think people would be amazed at our house from an organized standpoint. In the downstairs areas we have these cool shelving systems that keep all the junk looking like its not junk. All neat and tidy. Our closets are nice and orderly and the rooms are always neat. Its one thing Nicci and I have in common. We like things put away in their place. Neither of us is a neat freak but we aren't slobs either. These organizer things help keep everything in order and we don't have to be anal about it. It just looks like we are. Nice.

So tomorrow I'll be giving my first guitar lesson. That should be interesting. I haven't taught anyone music in a long time. Besides, I'm just a hack anyway so if she's serious about learning she will need a real teacher in very short order.

I had some really cool pics to post of my WoW character but the format isn't working. I'll have to figure out what I did wrong and try again. She is looking hot! (For a toon anyway.) She has this set of armor that looks like it came from Victoria's Secret. All red and skimpy. It looks sweet. But its also the highest protection she's had yet. Go figure. Look sexier, get better protection. Life just doesn't work that way for real, does it? Nope. :)

I saw that Grace mentioned the movie "300" recently. That is one I want to see in the theaters. It looks so cool. I remember the story from school and I've always been fascinated by it. Of course, I need someone to go with me who likes to go. Nicci isn't into theaters and all. Maybe I can get Lisa to go.

So, I guess it's time to try and catch up on whats happening at work. Not in the modd, y'know? But I'm here and they expect me to pay attention so, away we go.

Anyone else in the mood to feel grumpy today?

I'm A Ramblin' Guy....

It seems like forever since I've had time to stop by here. This past week has been crazy. Too much going on to tell all. Besides I am leaving (again) for New Jersy this morning for a two day trip. Trying to spend lots of company money can be exhausting. :)

Just stopped by before I left to let anyone who may be interested know that I am still here. Somewhere.

Lots to talk about when I get back. Hasta la vista.

I Tried.....

...I really did. I tried to blog something today but nothing happened. Now I'm out of time and gotta leave. Its a Winter Wonderland here so at least the trip home will be pretty. Until later then........

Beautiful Emails

Lately I have been getting these amazingly beautiful emails. Check this out:



New York Yankees Postgame Alert
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
March 5, 2007

Detroit 5, N.Y. Yankees 6 at Legends Field
Detroit Record: (4-2)
N.Y. Yankees Record: (5-0)

Winning pitcher - Ron Villone (2-0)
Losing pitcher - Felix Heredia (0-1)


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
Detroit 1 1 0 1 2 0 0 0 0 5 8 0
N.Y. Yankees 0 3 1 0 0 0 0 0 2 6 10 0

DET HR - None
NYY HR - H. Matsui (1) B. Sardinha (1)

Next N.Y. Yankees Game: March 6, 2007 01:05 PM ET vs. Cleveland Indians


It makes me smile every time I look at my email. Just knowing the real Baseball Season is almost here is awesome! (Of course in my email everything isn't all crooked and stuff.)

Summer's coming people and with it the Boys of Summer are back. More to the point, The Yankees are back.

Could there be anything more beautiful in an email? Nope. :)

So It's Tuesday Morning.....

So it's Tuesday morning. Back in the swing for me, I guess. I was out sick yesterday. I went with the old folks for dinner on Sunday and got something there that knocked me about for a while. The restaurant was good, as usual, but something on the buffet must not have been. Nicci felt bad too but not like I did. Had it coming out of both ends, if you know what I mean.

Serves me right. Lisa will tell me (when I see her today) that I got what I deserved. You see, I was considering calling in sick just to have a 'mental health day' soon. Well, I got my day off. Not quite what I had envisioned. Lisa believes in karma stuff like that. Maybe she is right?

The weekend was weird. I got the closet organizer installed just fine. The thing is so cool! Talk about adding storage space. It wasn't all that hard to do either. I think the hardest thing was deciding how to configure it. Once the plan was made, cutting the shelves down and stuff was easy. Other than doing the closet I did laundry, had a date night, played WoW, and stayed quiet. As quiet as my big mouth let's me stay. :)

Yesterday one of our neighbors called to let us know their daughter had killed herself. It was a weird thing to hear. I am friends with them but Nicci is good friends with them. It really affected her.

It was one of those typical suicide stories. The woman seemed fine to everyone around her. No one knew anything was wrong. No hints that something was going to happen. Her Mother and daughter had even spent time with her earlier in the day. Next thing you know, she blows her brains out with a gun. I'm sure some odd secret thing will surface eventually that will sort of explain it all. I say sort of since you really can never fully understand why this happens. We'll see.

We sure are different people too. I say that because of the two different reactions in my house. Nicci was instantly distraught. She was sad and concerned for the family. She is so nice to neighbors and stuff.

My first reaction was "What a stupid, selfish bitch." I was pissed that she would do that to those left behind. I guess we are different but I have never been able to feel compassion for suicide people.

I have always thought that if someone could actually do that to themselves then the world is better off without them anyway. Maybe I'm too cold hearted but that is how I feel.

So Nicci will be helping with the family stuff this week. All sad and concerned and sweet and helpful. I'll be pretending life goes on just like always. See what I mean? Different perspectives.

Now I have to go and get caught up. A day off, unplanned, can be a pain when you get back to work. Planning ahead, well there's a different thing. :)

It's Mage, Not Maaje

I was away all day Wednesday at a seminar. It was pretty fun. Sometimes those things are a drag but this one wasn't too bad. Hey, I was away from work, hanging with three babes from the department, got a free lunch and had some interesting stuff to absorb. It could have been a worse day.

The seminar was "Strengthening Your People Skills In The Workplace". With a title like that you know it had all the makings of an eventful time. I managed to find out quite a bit of stuff that I had forgotten from previous trainings and seminars. A lot of which I once knew and just stopped using. Of course, at my last job, I basically did my own thing and didn't really have to interact with anyone if I didn't feel like it. (Mostly I didn't feel like it.)

I did learn that my personality at work is a combination of "The Director" style and "The Socializer" style. The Director is the one who can't stand fluffy, long winded sentences. They like to get going, get the job done, multi-tasking, no frills and no fluff. Result driven. The people who take forever to explain things or chat too much are the ones who make this person nuts. I am really like that.

The Socializer tends to be smiling, easy going, results driven too but they like to do it their own way. Low tolerance for direction but good at getting things done. My evaluation showed that I am a combination of both.

The people there were an interesting mix. Some were OK. Some made me crazy. There was this one person who talked about her hobby of playing World of Warcraft. I listened in a little but couldn't bring myself to chat too much with her even though I like to see how other people react to the game. My reason was that she kept saying the word "Mage" (her character) in a funny way. It was like "Maaje" or something. I'm having a hard time spelling it like she pronounced it. Long drawn out "A" and the "G" sounded like a "Z". Sorta like Thurston Howell III would say it I think. It annoyed me very much. :) Webster's agrees with me:


From Webster's Online Dictionary:

mage
One entry found for mage.


Main Entry: mage
Pronunciation: 'mAj
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin magus

So now I want to find out who her character is and run up in the game and wipe her out. Too bad you can't attack players from the same groups you are part of. But I want to. "Hey beyotch! Maaje this!"

Anyway, yesterday was a whirlwind too. Coming back after a day off with a big ass load of work to do makes for a fast day. I started a project at 7:30 and suddenly it was 1:30. The time flew past me. So I finished up what I had to and left with Lisa for a glass of wine. Good way to end the day. Good wine with your best friend in a nice setting for 2.5 hours. The evening was very relaxed afterward.

So today is new period start day. That means I get to write up my end of the period reports, finish up leftover paperwork, go to endless meetings.... *yawn*... yeah, the day will drag. But it won't be stressful and it is Friday.

Plans for the weekend? Yep, I actually have some. Can you believe it? Now don't get too excited. There is always at least one stupid home improvement thing to do. With Nicci around, its non-stop. I am tearing out all the stuff from the big bedroom closet and redoing it. Adding one of those closet organizer things. It should be pretty cool once its done. Plus, the installing should be easy. Its the fixing the walls and painting that sucks. Luckily for me, Nicci won't let me touch a paintbrush so I get out of that part.

We also decided to have a date night Saturday evening. I already know what I'm cooking. Dinner in front of the fireplace, romantic stuff. You know. I won't get all gross about it. Just imagine, K?

OK< time to get this day started. The earlier it starts, the earleir it ends.

QotD: First Celebrity Crush

Saw this at J's and Grace's blogs. I thought I'd fess up too. :)

"Who was your first celebrity crush?"

The Mighty Isis




The first time I saw the show on Saturday morning TV I was smittem. I can't tell you much about plots or anything. All I remember is that Joanna Cameron was the hottest thing I had ever seen and I could not be moved to miss one show. Even after I had seen them all about 20 times. :)

The cool thing is that 2 years ago (or so???) I got to meet her at one of those comic book shows in Baltimore. She was there signing autographs. I got a pic and a handshake from her. She is still a hottie too. :)

You Are Healed!

I found this at a blog I accidentally came across this morning. It cracks me up!




A good way to start a boring Monday eh? A good laugh and the Starbuck's Cafe Verona I made this morning. Yum! I have been making it since last Monday and I have to tell ya, if you haven't tried it, you should. I make it the European way though, very strong. But it is my (current) favorite.

I kinda sound a little like Meritt there. Ha ha.

So the weekend was OK. Managed to re-uninstall the bathroom sink and re-re-install it again. The stupid thing....grrrr... Tell me what kind of manufacturer doesn't send the right stuff in a kit like that? The drainn wouldn't drain because it couldn't. They sent a drain without an overflow hole. It couldn't 'breathe' so naturally it couldn't let the water go down.

And of course I didn't notice it until after it was all installed. When the water went in and just sat there, waiting for help, I noticed. Duh!

But noew the stupid thing is back in place and sealed up good. The right drain had to be special ordered. It won't be here until Wednesday. Imagine, a simple new sink install taking 10 days and three re-dos. Sometimes projects just don't go the way they should.

I don't know about anyone else but have you also noticed that once a project starts it gains momentum and all these little add-ons keep creeping in? Spacebrain calls that "creeping-featurism". This was one of those projects. It's been like this:

"Well, since we have the sink out I should re-do the wall behind there. Maybe I should just go ahead and change the color? Yeah, I will."
"I got some new fixtures for the walls. The old ones didn't suit me with the new color."
"Can you replace that strip on the backsplash? I think it would look better since we have the room apart..."
"I think that should be moved over here. We have the opportunity now that the room..."
"I bought this for under here. Can you put this in while you're at it?"
"Those old door handles just had to go since we changed the color and all."
"Well, I had to get these since we changed the door handles."

Yeah, it really is like that. :)

OK, enough jabbering on about the latest home improvement project. Otherwise the weekend wasn't too bad. I did manage to play a little online too. I think I could really like WoW. (For those without kids, I'm including myself in that reference, WoW is World of Warcraft.) The one thing I don't like about the game is all the travelling. Sometimes it takes 5-10 minutes to get places. But basically I think I like it. Once I'm done with the bathroom :) I think I'll try it a little more.

So happy Monday to all. Time to get more coffee and see what you've been up to.

Courteney Cox Works Here

I just saw Courteney Cox in our hallway! I really did!

Ok, it was just someone who looks like her. Not the real deal.

It wasn't the sexy Courteney either.........

It was this version of Courteney...........

Apparently we have a new employee and she looks a lot like the second picture there. If you know me you'd know how much I adore Courteney Cox. This woman looks a lot like her but she is probably 250-300lbs. Pretty still, but a very big woman.

I was a little excited for a minute there. But y'know? If it were Courteney and she was that big, I'd still have to go after her. Those eyes get me evey time.

What can I say? I'm a slave to my passions. :)

So I'm A Dope

Peachy left a comment yesterday on the 'other blog' reminding me that I haven't been a good blogger buddy. I guess I haven't felt very social lately since my friend left for Grad School.

She has started Grad School at John's Hopkins. She is very busy with school and still works part time. I do see her occasionally. We had lunch together last week. But thats about it. She goes home a lot (another state) and she doesn't have a lot of spare time anymore. Other than wonderful Gmail chat, I don't have much contact with her anymore.

I miss her.

But thats it goes sometimes.

Other news.... well theres not much to talk about. Work has been crazy lately. It seems like nothing wants to work right this past 2 weeks. I've had a never ending flow of vendors, repair guys and official document signing meetings just to keep things running.

Oh, and we remodeled the bathroom at home again. Yes, I mean again! This is the 3rd time since moving into the house 1.5 years ago. I figure if we just keep to the schedule we can be expert remodelers. A redo every 6 months is good for you, right? *sigh* Have I ever mentioned here just how much I hate home improvement projects? I really do. Not that I can't do them well. I just don't want to do them. How people do that stuff after a stressful week at a real job I just don't understand.

My mother's birthday is this week. I have yet to decide what to do about it. Unlike other people out there who like to celebrate their parents special days, I just don't care. If not for Nicci and my Aunt I'd probably never see her. Some people don't get that, I'm sure, but my philosophy is pretty simple and straight forward; if someone is a freak and you don't like them, don't waste your time hanging with them. I didn't choose her as my mother. I got stuck. It doesn't mean I have to like her just because she could breed. So this weekend could have a little drama since I'll have to be coerced into a visit. Then I'll get crap for not being social...yada..yada..yada... Whatever.

Its not drama on my end. Its no big thing to me. It is a big thing to those around me who don't get it. Its nothing but a bore to me and it will come and go without me really noticing too much. If I get to hang with my Uncle for a while it's a good day. :)

I heard from Spacebrain that he may be coming back to work here where I am. He probably doesn't realize it but that would really make me happy. I don't like a lot of guys. I have very few close male friends. Mostly guys are a bore to me. Always the same thing in their heads. Rarely a good conversation or an original thought. Sports and sex. I like both of those subjects but there are a few more things to focus on in this world than just those. Spacebrain is a little different than that. He's one guy that I do miss. Knowing someone and seeing them around for 18 years will do that I guess.

Women are much better friends. They have more original and creative minds (in general) and have a wider range of interests and curiousities. I prefer female friends above all others. (I say all others because these days there are some that are about half and half. I don't know any of them so I guess I really don't have an opinion about that.) So I guess what people say about me is true, I am in touch with my feminine side. :)

So theres my update. I don't intentionally stay away long. I just haven't been available much plus I haven't felt like it for a while. Strained heart strings will do that to a person. But I usually recover quickly. Hopefully I'll stop being a blogger dope soon.

Is It Real Or Is It Memorex?

Yesterday I got the big blow-off from my old company. It caused a tremendous effect where I now work. I am left wondering if it was driven by a personal reason or not.

We have an equipment failure at work that could cost us a lot of production time. A left over problem from previous dolts has finally come to bite the company in the nards. Bite hard. Even though they have been warned and warned.

So the old company where I worked previously has the systems and capacity to help us out. They do it as a regular thing, part of their business. So when we verbally set up things so we could make our production, everything seemd to be working out. They were very enthusiastic about creating a closer tie with my current company. Talking about how they want to build cooperation and trust between us. All that kind of verbage. The VP there even verbally guaranteed that our stuff would be done over the weekend. I just had to wait until they gave me an official cost quote to ship things.

That was the morning.

By 3:30 things changed. Suddenly they had a team meeting and decided that they didn't want to help us out. They didn't want the distraction. They blew us off.

On our end, the production plan was rewritten. The materials were prepped and ready to go. We had our immediate future planned and organized.

That verbal guarantee screwed us. I guess we now see what their word is worth.

What I don't get is that what we needed done was something they do every day. They do it for others too. We use the exact same components they use daily. It wasn't as if we wnated to do something off the wall. We needed about 4-5 hours of equipment time and we would have been out of the way. We even planned on doing it over the weekend. I just do not get how that would have been a distraction. Granted, I do not know what challenges they currently have but still, it was not a tough nor unusual request. Besides, they would have made good money on it.

I can't help but feel that it was a bit personal. That they chose to change up because they just didn't want to do it. I know there is one senior member who has snowed the big cheese and definitely has a major influence. The nose is so far up the butt that it has to be stained dark brown. That person is also the one I could not get along with and unlimately the reason I left.

It may be just that they made a business decision. It may not be personal. Even if it isn't personal, they still screwed us badly. Never, never, never guarantee something and then just do a 180. The worst part was that they didn't even have the courtesy to give us a decent, professional explanation. I got a voice message from the VP. "Nope, we changed our minds. Sorry."

So much for building a relationship between companies. If they knew the reaction here they would be cringing right now.

The Heyday Of Blogger

I think the Heyday of Blogger has come and gone. At least for me and for the group of friends I made via blogging. I find it harder and harder to post anymore. Not that I don't have interesting, fun stuff to write about. It's just that I have become totally unmotivated.

I looked back at the past yesterday. Past posting habits. I saw where I'd post several times a day. Then the comments would come. I'd answer. A lot of times there would end up being a back and forth conversation via comments. Not anymore. It looks like its that way for a lot of the people I've known over the years. Maybe we are all burned out? Or burning out?

Maybe we became too familiar and now we are afraid to post honestly. Thats a big part for me. Its why I have the VOX blog now. I keep out the people I don't want in. Somehow that makes me feel good. :)

But there are things there I don't want my 'blogger friends' to know. More forthcoming since I feel a little braver there all the time. But I think I'd offend a lot of this crowd. In a few cases, like Meritt in particular, I value thier friendship too much now to tempt the offense. So I don't do it here.

Thats where we end up, isn't it? Maybe too familiar.

I remember how not too long ago Blogger was the thing. People really became friends. Met each other. Had parties. Fell in and out of love (a few times), traveled a few thousand miles for weddings, exchanged music, candy, had contests with prizes. These days only a handful of the original friends remain. The most consistent are the ones who are either sad and have nothing else to do or are badgered into sticking around because we'd miss them. (I've badgered too.)

Then there are the very few that actually have no other identity than the blog. The ones who beg for comments and therefor affirmation that they are popular & interesting. They know who they are but can't quit. They need the blog. Don't have any other way to interact with the living. Those are the ones I became tired of long ago.

I'm just thinking out loud here (sort of). Bear with me.

Or not.

The thing is, the blog is supposed to be a diary of sorts. Isn't it? Or did it change somewhere along the line and I didn't take notice? I know I allowed mine to change from diary to something else. Thats when it became something less interesting to me. I can be a dope sometimes so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I started this simply because I am a Yankee. I wanted to write all about the team and my exploits being a Yankee in enemy territory. I did that for a while. Now I don't. Shame on me.

The only person (that I know well and keep up with) who has truly been consistent with their blog is Karen. She is always there, always a Yankee, always interesting and doesn't change for any reason. She hasn't allowed anyone or anything to change her style. She is a true blogger. I think her diary is probably just as consistent. She was my influence for starting a blog on my own anyway. I'm just not like her it seems.

I'm still anxious to read a published KB book Cap'n. :)

Anyway, I don't know where I'm going with this. Maybe just an explanation for why I don't post here so much anymore. (That and the fact that I hate my template but don't feel like going through all the work to fix it.) Sorry if I disappoint any of the few faithful readers I have left. I don't mean to but I've never been one to be able to be a fake anything.

Huh. I think I feel like a fake here. Thats got to be a big part of it. See what thinking out loud (sort of) gets ya?

Anyway, I'm not deleting this blog. I will also post here still. Sometimes every day. Sometimes not. But I do believe that the Heyday of Blogger has come and gone.

Gettin Stoned At Work

I feel stoned. Yes, I am at work. But I think I got a contact buzz from this guy that just left. He is a vendor that wants to sell me some very expensive equipment. He was a stoner for sure.

I knew it right away. I got within a few feet of him and the smell was amazing. He must have blew one just before entering the lobby. That guy reeked of Pot.

Cannabis Sativa, Herb, Pot, Marijuana, Ganja, Ace, Giggle Weed, or just plain old Weed. Doesn't matter what you want to call it, that dude had sucked down a lot of it before visiting me.

He wasn't a typical stoner either. He was just a few years away from retirement. He looked professional and all. But he was turned on baby.

His attention sapan was tiny. He laughed at eveything. He cussed a little. He interrupted my sentences. He also was in an awful big hurry to leave. My guess is he had a bowl waiting in the parking lot.

When he was gone the Receptionish saw me watch him leave and shake my head. She giggled a little and said, "He was a little different." I agreed and mentioned that he smelled a little. She said, "Yeah, he smelled like Pot!"

It wasn't just me then.

My A to Z List

I bummed this from Peachy. It looked like fun.





Available or Taken : Taken. Married actually. But I could be persuaded......

Best friend: Lisa. We are so much alike that it's scary. It's also a wonder we can get along so well.

Cake or pie: Pie, by far.

Drink of choice: Governor's White Wine, from the Williamsburg Winery. Yum!

Essential item I use everyday: Deodorant and Toothpaste (Me too Peachy. But isn't that 2 things?)

Favorite Color: Orange

Gummy bears or worms: Gummy worms. I don't like bears. Not even teddy bears.

Hometown: Waynesboro PA

Indulgence: Starbuck's Lattes (Notice the plural?)

January or February: Neither. Everything is dead.

Kid's names: How about Never and Non Existant?

Life is incomplete without: Laughing with friends.

Marriage: Don't care for much.

Number of siblings: Three (1 sister and 2 brothers)


Oranges or apples: Can I say neither here too? Don't really like either one.

Phobias or fears: Being permanently trapped, tied down... whatever.

Quote: "The secret to life is simple. Be happy, don't hurt other people and hope you fall in love." Mallory Keaton

Reason to smile: The Yankees

Season: Summer! The beach, Baseball Season, the sun, the heat, outdoor freedom.... all that stuff.

Unknown fact about me: I play World of Warcraft almost every night, even for a few minutes.

Veggie I don't like: Tomatoes! Bleech!


Worst Habit: Not returning calls or emails. Or maybe it's not giving a crap about other people enough.

Xrays: Only my teeth. (Me too.)


Your favorite food: SpaghettiOs! Filet Mignon done on the grill, medium rare is a very close second.

Zodiac: Gemini

Before & After

I just heard someone walking down the hallway singing and old song. I don't care for the song but the woman who sang it, well...... Oh yeah!



So I looked her up on Google to see what she was up to these days.

Yikes!




Get it?




It seems she has had too much of this....




....and this too....


Well, maybe in a different form but you get it. ;)

Remember the part of that song... "No matter what they take from me, They can't take away my dignity..."

I'm thinking she didn't have it taken away, eh? Sometimes we just give things away before we know what we're doing.


At any rate, I prefer to remember her like this.



Maybe I should avoid google searches?

F'n Monday Morning

After being sick all weekend, Friday included, I am here trying to catch up on important things. Blogs, emails... and a little work stuff. Then the big jerk who always stops by in the morning pops his head into my office and does his usual routine. "Get off the porno sites man!" Then he laughs; "Guh huh guh". He does the same material EVERY TIME HE WALKS PAST MY DOOR. Every day. He thinks he's hilarious.

Dipshit.

I'm not in the mood today so I ignore him. And he stands there repeating himself 3-4 times. I'm more annoyed all the time so I just pretend he's not there. Since I'm the only one in this office it's obvious that I am ignoring his retarded ass. Finally he is quiet for a few seconds and walks away.

Now I feel a little guilty. Things like being ignored can make your day start off bad. I think about maybe giving him a bad attitude with mine being bad. Then maybe he'll pass it on later. Then someone else will suffer because I couldn't take his retard routine this morning.

See the chain of events that can occur when some neanderthal idiot can't recognize when he is an annoying ass?

"Get some new material fuckstick."

Happy f'n Monday.

I Was Just Wondering.....

..... if the hat you are wearing all cock-eyed and sideways is still cool if it is a camouflaged hunters type hat. What is that... like Gangsta Redneck?

I wonder what the hip-hop people would think.




Anyone want me to ask the guy walking the halls wearing that hat about it? :)

Blogger

YB's Blog




Makes me sleepy too. :)

The Dead Pool

For a couple years now Mel has hosted The Dead Pool. Its a contest where you choose 3 famous (or semi-famous) people who you think will be dead when this year is over with. Then at the end of the year the person who guessed the most deadites wins.

Mel apparently isn't hosting it this year. The place that is isn't a place I prefer to visit these days so I thought I'd host the contest myself. So, with that being said, anyone who wants in on this years Dead Pool just pick 3 people you believe will be croaked this year and leave your list in my comments section. I'll publish the list and we'll keep it updated as the year passes. At the end of the year a fabulous prize will be rewarded to the person who was the best Reaper.

Make your choices by this Wednesday, January 17th ( I think its the 17th) and after that the contest will begin. I have some interesting contest prizes in mind for this one. ;)

And They Wonder Why I Avoid Them

Yesterday I was bored at work. I have almost all my projects moving along nicely and had some extra time so I decided to go and help out the production area. Big mistake.

Sometimes I forget that the area is all women. All they talk about is kids and stuff kid related. Plus there is one pregnant woman there (due next Monday), so obviously she was the main topic of ALL the conversations.

They talked about nasty stuff. The Doctor feeling the baby's head with his fingers. The 3 centimeter dialation of something down there. The water breaking (which sounds to me like a huge rush of goo all over the place without any warning). The way the head pops out all misshapen and how they reform it. The soft spot on the head. The saggy skin on the belly. Gah! It went on and on.

Then they were talking about how the woman's body never really recovers. How the hips stay a little wider. How the weight is harder to lose after giving birth. Harder to lose and much easier to gain. How the, uhmmm, you know what, stays stretched out. Not as much fun to... well, you know. That really sucks.

If I didn't think so before I now am totally positive about it. There is nothing beautiful about giving birth. Nothing. Nothing glamourous. Nothing positive. Its gross. I'll never understand why anyone decides to do it.

The pregnant woman even is giving up her dogs. She's 'worried about having them around the baby'. One of them she's had for 11 years. Sick.

Then the thing that pops out doesn't even look human. Not for a few months. It looks like an alien. Not until about 2 years pass is the kid looking presentable.

That's where I come in. That point is the total opposite for me. When they are that age and older then it's playtime and I love having them around. They are like a totally unpredictable, mobile toy for those of us who never really know how to grow up.

But the whole process getting there sucks. I couldn't take the conversation too long so I left after about an hour and got something else going. At least I remember now why I avoid that area. I guess I needed the reminder.

Is This The Truth?

I think this may be the truth. I pretty much know it is with me. Although "Hate" is a bit too strong a word (most of the time).



I'm constantly torn between the two halves of Lucy's illustrated heart. I sometimes wonder why. But mostly I don't.

Anyone else feel like this hits home?

Congratulations

Congratulations to Cal Ripken Jr. and to Tony Gwynn for being elected to the Baseball Hall Of Fame. Two classy guys who deserve to be there. Not Yankees but still, I have to give them the respect they deserve. :)

Congrats Iron Man




Congrats Tony. Was there ever a sweeter swing?

Just Passin By

Did you ever notice that it is really hard to walk down the hallway at work and not look into the little windows on the doors as you pass? I think it is. Almost all the time I have this nagging urge to look inside.

Then sometimes someone is looking out when you do and you are sure they think you are a dork. Some of the looks I get are obvious.

Then there are the ones you have no choice but to look into. Especially when they move a favorite person to a new desk/workbench near that window. A person you just have to see at some point in the day. ;)

Then there are the ones where you have to press your nose right up against the glass and make faces until they see you. The ones where you know who will be looking. Those you can't resist no matter what. (Not that I ever do that.)

Does anyone else have the same feeling when they walk down the hall?

The Good News Is...

There has been some good news. The missing hunter was found. He got himself lost and then the big rains came and made it worse. But being the experienced outdoorsey type he knew how to stay safe and also knew what general direction he need to go. Once the worst of the storm wa sover he managed to walk out of the woods near a camp store. He is home safe and not too bad for the experience.

See what experience and a level head can do for you? You never know how you'll react in a circumstance like that.

Nicci's Dad isn't much better. Too bad too.

Otherwise, I've been trying to blog but I am totally unmotivated these days. Things occur to me but I never have the time at work (much time anyway) and later I forget about what I was thinking. Once I'm at home..... well.....

One good thing I know for sure is this, The Captain and The Chicken have started the countdown to Spring Training. That means the world will be a much better place soon. It's amazing the difference the beginning of the Baseball season makes with me. I feel like I'm alive again. 5 more weeks until pitchers and catchers report. C'mon 5 weeks! Get it moving.

I'll try to be back soon but I can make no promises anymore. Just grab a tissue and dab your eyes. I know waiting is hard. :)

When It Rains....

Thanks for all the well wishes for Nicci's Dad. He is still not doing great but he has been responsive to her Mom. That's good, I think.

I can't imagine what she's going through. Thye have been married over 50 years. The stress has to be tough.

On top of this issue Nicci's best friend called last night and told us how her brother is missing. He was hunting with friends and went off in a direction alone and never came back to camp. That was Thursday. There is now a massive man-hunt going on in central Pennsylvania trying to find him. Over 200 people looking and still they haven't found a trace. Weird.

Nicci's friend is beside herself worrying. Their whole family is too. After all this time and no trace... well, draw you own conclusions. The thing is he was an avid outdoorsman. If anyone could make it this long it would be him.

Keep the hunter and Nicci's Dad in your prayers. It is much appreciated. That's the best we can do for now.

Bummer

Nicci's Father is in serious condition in the hospital. He had another stroke. The poor guy has had a series of bad health problems the past 2 years. A quadruple bypass, several "minor" heart attacks, a couple "minor" strokes, one that left his left side 50% incapacitated, very serious trouble trying to control his blood pressure and a serious heart attack in early December. He has been in the hospital since the first week of December. It was the old story, he started getting better and then the stroke got him. I feel really bad for him.

It got me thinking about what I'd be like in his shoes. His left side doesn't work right. Now his right side is paralyzed. He has a pace-maker. His blood pressure is controlled by pills and lack of excitement. I think I'd sooner be dead.

Seriously, I don't think I'd want to survive in that condition. No possibility of ever enjoying even simple things again. No possibility of getting better. Just the ability to sit around waiting for the next big problem.

Definitely 'd rather pass on and see what happens after this life is done. It would have to be better.

This time I really don't think he will be leaving the hospital. I can't think he will and if he does he will end up back there pretty quickly again. He was a smoker for decades. Back when smoking was considered cool and they had no idea about the health risks. *All you smokers out there take notes. It will ruin you eventually if not immediately. Nicci is having a hard time with it. Her Mom is too. I think the next few days will be rough for all of them. Mostly I feel for the Dad. He's the one with no future to speak of.

Bummer.

Wouldn't It Be Funny...?...

Wouldn't it be funny if everyone just said the first thing that popped into their heads? If everyone just told exactly what they were thinking during every circumstance? I think it would have it's crazy funnny moments but also some really bad ones.

For example, recently Engineer guy, Mechanic guy and myself were working on a project together. It was hard and Engineer guy kept getting in the way. It was obvious to me and Mechanic guy the he was pretty much a "book-smart" Engineer and had never done much 'hands-on' stuff. He was downright gawky with tools. Worse when it came to working as a team. He constantly walked into me and kept excusing himself for it.

There were several times when he would interfere with our progress and Mechanic guy would stand behind him with a really pissed look on his face, rolling his eyes. I started smiling, thinking about what his thoughts were. Once he even got behind Engineer guy and pretended to attack him with a screwdriver. Can you tell he was getting frustrated?

If we were a society that just said whatever they thought I would have had many one-liners too. I remember thinking "Where did you get your degree, The Larry, Moe & Curly School of Engineering"? I also kept thinking "Would you please just get out of the way so we can do this right"?

Then came the coup de grace. We were finishing up (after a one hour job became 3 hours) and Engineer guy was reinstalling a large sight glass. It was crooked when I noticed it. I started saying "Hey, that thing isn't in right...." when he tightened the first 2 bolts. I quickly stepped back as the glass exploded in a million tiny little shards. Glass everywhere. Like raining glass particles. I just stood and looked at him. He stood there and his shoulders visably slumped as he stared. Mechanic guy threw up his hands and walked away. In my mind I was thinking "Damn, you really are one of the Stooges reincarnated." Of course I didn't say that.

The point is, I wonder what would happen if we could have said whatever we thought? That project would have been completed much faster and without serious breakage. (That glass is on order and has delayed getting the machine back into service for over a week now.) But I think Engineer guy wouldn't have liked to hear what we were thinking. I like the guy well enough but he definitely needs to stay behind his desk.

It would be a different world if we could just be totally honest all the time. I'm not really sure it would be a better place though.

Too Much Seinfeld?

I just threw away all the Christmas cards from my desk. The ones I got at work. Then I noticed that they were visable in the can. If someone came in and looked down they would see I threw them away.

It reminded me of Seinfeld where he threw away the card his girlfriend sent and she flipped out.

So I covered them up with an old magazine. Now no one can see them in the trash. :)

Happy New Year?

Oh, OK, I guess it is a New Year. My weekend was quiet. Probably boring to a lot of folks. But I needed the peace and quiet. The past year was full of changes, beginnings, personal compromises, questions about me (by me), and other stuff. I was happy for the distraction of quiet.

We had plans with friends that got cancelled. Nicci was supposed to have her son and his girlfriend overnight. She wasn't about to go out and leave two 16 year olds alone for hours and hours. :) Then they decided to hang with her family at the last minute. So we were left alone with no plans. Not a problem.

It was a quiet evening at home for us then but I didn't mind. I sat and wondered for hours about some of the decisions I made last year and where I was headed this year. I guess we all do that sometimes. I sat with Nicci in front of the fire, sipping wine for a while. That was nice. I also managed to learn more of the game World Of Warcraft. I started paying that after Lisa kept asking me to play so she had a friend to play with. Turns out it is pretty cool. I kinda like it.

I came to the realization on New Years that have it pretty good these days. I shouldn't have any complaints. But I find complaints. I wonder what it is that drives people like me to want something different all the time? To always be looking past what is and to constantly want want what could be? "A bird in the hand... etc..." I guess we'll never really know, will we?

So, a New Years resolution? I never make them. Not seriously. (Right Meritt?) But I will this year. I think one thing sums it up. Be happy. I think I'll try and learn to be happy. With whatever I have. Whatever I don't have. Just happy. Don't take things for granted. Don't look past what's in my face. Just be happy.

I'll also try to have more Starbuck's this year. But that's not really much of a challenge, is it? :)

Happy New Year!!!

Happy New Year everyone!

Here There Were Daredevils

"I think you can make it man. Go for it." That was my best friend Keith, standing on my right. He always was so positive and reassuring. "I dunno dude. Thats pretty high up. You could end up squashed against the side." That was my other best friend Troy. He was standing to my left, pinching his chin with his fingers, looking at the stunt. "The Jump" as it came to be called in the following year (very a la Christmas Story).

We were standing on top of the hill behind the old OSI building. The building hadn't been occupied for years. In the back was a huge vacant lot that sloped downward. Steeper and steeper until about 2/3 of the way the hill dropped off sharply. We had set up a jump-ramp near the mid-way point of that hill and had been putting things in front of it to jump over with our bikes. We were all into the BMX scene back then. We all wanted to be Evil Knievel. We built this ramp out of old plyboard and 2 x 4's we found laying around back in that lot. It was a big one. Twice the length of a bike. Having it on that sloped hill made for some fun jumping. It was like flying for a while since the ground kept sloping downward even when you were were flying upward. We had been doing jumps for a week.

But my eye had caught something that I couldn't let go of. Near the bottom of that big hill there was an old box trailer. The back end of a tractor trailer that was used for storage. It was sitting there for years, rusting away. I sat there and watched the jumpers and thought "If we angled that ramp a little more and put it the right distance from that trailer, someone could jump the thing." Once I thought about it, I couldn't let it go. That someone had to be me.

All the guys looked at me like I was crazy when I said it. All of them but my 2 best buds. Troy was actually the bigger daredevil of us. He and I constantly tried to top one another. Keith never did do much on the bikes. He was mostly comedy relief. He also loved a good show.

So here we were, on top of the hill, the ramp repostitioned, the bikes ready. Me, I wasn't even thinking about it. I had to do it. Keith wanted to see the show. Troy, the voice of reason (this day) had reservations. That should have been a hint to me. If he wouldn't do it, well.... I should have listened to him.

I looked to the right, then to the left. There was no doubt in me. I was just being dramatic. I looked straight ahead, speaking at both of them and said, "What? Do you wanna live forever?", hopped on the bike and hit the hill.

As I was rushing down that hill I could see all the neighborhood gang standing around the periphery. Funny thing was, I never heard anything. I was totally focused on that ramp. I picked up speed, faster and faster, as fast as I could go. I hit that ramp dead center, perfectly. It launched me high into the air and suddenly I felt like I was flying. It was an awesome rush. Then the edge of the trailer was passing beneath me. I thought "Ha! I knew we had it right!" We did too. I cleared that trailer with feet to spare. Then I was over it and suddenly something occurred to me. We had been so focused on the take-off and clearing the height. No one ever considerd that I would have to land. It was a funny time to think about it, eh?

The hill dropped off very sharply behind that trailer. I looked down after clearing it and it looked so far away. That was the first time I felt a little concern. But the rush of flying that high was awesome enough that I just let it happen.

The ground seemed to take forever to reach up to me. Just like I had done thousands of times, I landed the back tire at a perfect angle to let it take the major brunt. The thing is, I had never landed on that steep a hill before. Nor from that high up. So when that back tire hit, several things happened: The tire instantly blew out, the bike lurched far forward and the front tire blew out, the handle-bars couldn't take the stress and they let loose and went straight forward, my rump bounced hard enough on the seat and it just broke right off. All those things could have been easily survived but that was just the first impact. Naturally the bike would hit and bounce up. the second impact was the killer.

It bounced up and came back down. That hurt! My rump hit that naked seat post and I felt the skin on the small of my back rip open as it slid up my back. Those handlebars were so far forward that my nose ended up right with the tire but that wasn't the worst part. I fell off the pedals because I was reaching so far forward and my privates crunched on the bike frame. My ankles slid on the metal grating of the pedals and ripped open. Then the back wheel flew off. I was told it looked so cool. Parts were flying everywhere.

Once my privates hit I just let go. I ended up rolling down the hill in a ball. The bike kept rolling too. Afterward I just lay there staring up at the blue, blue sky, taking inventory of myself. Was I broken? It took a while but miraculously I wasn't. I got help to sit up. One of the girls looked over my back and got all squemish. The cut was from the beginning of my tailbone to the middle of the back. About 6"-8" long. My shoulders hurt for days from the strain of going so far forward. All my joints hurt for days. My privates hurt for longer.

But I walked away from it. I had done what I said I could do. The bike was a total loss however. The handlebars had totally broken off. The seat was a goner. Both rims, tires and tubes were trashed. Later we found a crack in the frame. But I hadn't used my good bike so I wasn't out of it.

It was the single most talked about event of that Summer. I never topped the rush of it. Some time later Troy devised a landing ramp and he made the jump too. It worked very well. He and I were the only ones brave (stupid?) enough to do it. We should have thought of that landing ramp for the first jump.

Troy went on to race motocross. Sponsered and everything. I did too for a while but I was never as good as him. Keith went on to play in his band at the Whiskey-a-Go-Go in L.A. Never did do many big-time jumps. He was always all about the show anyway.

But I will never forget the rush of flying that day. I still think about it sometimes when I drive through the old neighborhood. I was there shopping in my old hometown the weekend before Christmas and had to drive by. I saw the old house and drove around the neighborhood then I paused at the dirt road to the OSI building. In my mind I could still see that old trailer sitting there as if it were yesterday. I sat for a second and looked at that old field and thought "Here there were daredevils".

Man-Tits

I just walked past this guy with big boobies! It reminded me of this post YoJ did a little while back. This guy has some big ol boobs!

At first I thought it was a very manly woman without a bra. But up close I saw it wasn't. Kramer needs to come here with the Bro/Mansssiere.

It really is gross Yoj. It really is.

My Second Biggest Mistake

For some reason lately I have been thinking (again) about the second biggest mistake I ever made in life. At the time I thought it was the biggest mistake but I topped it later on.

The mistake I made was losing a dear friend, Christie Lee. Christie Lee and I were in love. It was a love/love relationship and we both benefitted from it. She and I were inseperable for a couple of years. I would go to her and we would begin adventures that I've never been able to duplicate to this day. One time it was an impulsive trip to the beach. No planning, just go. Another it was a boredom break where we'd pick a spot on the map and drive there to see what was to see. We always met someone new and had something to tell about it later. CL (my first CL... Ha!) was always there for me. She helped me through some really rough times too. When my first real relationship, first marriage, was going down the tubes I could go to her and we would spend some time together and things would be easier. She calmed my nerves.

My other best friend at the time was Princess. She was my Collie. A retired showdog (think Lassie) who was always at my side. She and I went everywhere together. I never used a leash with her or anything. She just hung with me no matter where we were or how crowded it got. She was so cool!

BTW, Christie Lee was a 1963 Chevrolet Impala SS. Completely restored by me (with some help). She was my escape so often that I thought of her as my best friend. It's a funny thing to some people to put such value on inanimate objects. I get that. But when you have tremendous turmoil in your life and find something that eases the pain it happens. The good thing about placing value on something like a car is that you take good care of it. Respect it and it will respect you.

I found Chrisite Lee sitting in some biker guys barn one day. It was instant love. I bought her and began restoring her. It took a lot. Money and time. I even took night school classes to learn how to rebuild the engine from scratch. She got her name from my now ex-wife. She claimed from the start that I loved that car more than I loved her. Turns out, that was true. The name came from a Billy Joel song simply titled "Christie Lee". It is about a guy totally in love with the girl to the point where his life means nothing.

Anyway, I lost CL eventually. I was young and full of inexperienced romantic notions and feelings of 'proper ways of acting'. During a period of attempted reconciliation with the wife she was looking at buying a new car. New to her. It was a classic too. An amazing Olds 442 with all the trimmings. I made the mistake of driving CL to see this car and the owner decided immediately that he wouldn't make a deal unless we traded her in on the Olds. I resisted for weeks. But eventually I succomed to those feelings of having to fix a marriage (it was in my mind the only right way to act) and I made the deal.

That night I sat at the front room window and looked at the new wheels out there. It was a beautiful automobile. A person couldn't have wanted for better. But I realized that night that it was just a car. Not a friend. I sat into the night and cried. I knew I had made a mistake. Seems silly, doesn't it? But I was 22 and full of romantic notions. So I cried. I also knew that night for certain that the relationship was too broken to be fixed. I always tried to fix things that couldn't be fixed back then. I usually went too far before I realized it too. This was one of those times.

Withing 2 months I was gone. Christie Lee was gone. Princess had died of cancer and my first real relationship was done. Worse yet, it had left me jaded. For the first time I realized that life really can kick you in the ass and that if you don't take care of you, no one else really won't either. They might claim to want to but the truth is that no one really does. They will always take theirs first. If you keep giving they will keep taking.

Christie Lee ended up in the junkyard. Wrecked by the drunken redneck who got her before I could find her and get her back. I saw her there. It sucked! That Olds was run into by someone who fell asleep driving at 2 in the morning and demolished it. It was parked in front of the ex's house. It was only a year or so later.

I don't know why I've been thinking about this stuff recently. I still have a sorry romantic streak in me a mile wide. Maybe thats why. I intend to find another Christie Lee soon. I've been planning it for years. But none will be the same. Maybe she needs a new name instead? I guess I'll know when I find her. But when I do I won't make the mistake of losing her again.

A Merry Christmas Indeed

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. I know I did. Except for the family dinner part, the whole weekend was awesome! Family dinners are sometimes annoying but when my mother is involved you can pretty much count on them being bad.

But Santa did make his way to my house. I got some loot that surprised me. The best thing is this amazing New York Yankees door mat. Yes, I know that sounds funny but it really is very cool. One wouldn't think a door mat could be cool, pretty, classy & neato but this one is. I will post a pic so you all can see what I mean. I also got this funny multi-colored mechanical duck. He is on a tricycle and when you wind him up he rolls around and on top of his head these helicopter propellers start spinning. Its very funny. I know, I know. I'll have to post a pic of that too so you know what the heck I'm talking about.

The best part was surprising people with my gifts. Nicci wasn't expecting anything special but she got one of the prettiest neclaces ever. She loved it. My Uncle was also very happy with me yesterday. I managed to hook him up with stuff from the Marine Corp PX that he hadn't been able to get to. (I keep telling them to get a PC and internet.) He's an ex-Marine and he likes to shopw it still. Well, as he likes to tell us, once a Marine, always a Marine. We managed to pretty much cover all the family's wishlist this year. Since our family is shrinking all the time, it wasn't too hard. It was a good day.

Then there is my mom.... oy vey! Shes an odd one. Not about gifts. She does her best in that area. I say that mostly because its so hard to be around her. It basically sucks but we deal. She says and does the most strange things. All the time. I'm really not sure what planet she is from. I have to tell this one thing just to see what reactions I get: She gave Nicci some of her old lingere. Used by her. She said it was too pretty and too expensive to just throw away. Now, first of all, I am a bit of a connoisseur of lingere and this stuff wasn't all that. Second, why in the world would I want to see my woman in lingere previously worn by my mother? Third, WTF? Fourth, thinking about that makes me wanna puke. Fifth, WTF? Sixth, why would Nicci want used lingere? Seventh, WTF!!!

Other than that incident, we tolerated things well. :)

I'm still walking around with Dean Martin Christmas songs in my head. The after-Christmas blues don't get to me. I tend to be a goof most of the time anyway so the lingering effects aren't a big change. An example: How many times did you see A Christmas Story during the 24 hour marathon? I saw it about 5 times. Yeah, I can be a goof. Told Ya!

So Happy After Christmas to everyone. I hope it was a good time for you. Now I'm back to the old routine. But for a while I'll still be singing happy tunes. Anyone need a spirit boost, just call. :)

Merry, Merry Christmas....

Merry Christmas Everyone!

I don't know about all my blogger buds but I have been very busy having a kick-ass Christmas weekend so far. Sorry about not having time for the blog. Doesn't mean I don't wonder about how most of you are. Funny how I do wonder about a lot of you....

Anyway, Merry Christmas to all my blog friends and anyone else who may just happen to stop by.

God Bless.

Assault Of A Teacher

It was 4th grade Math class. I remember it vividly still to this day. I'll never forget it. I was sitting in the back of the class, next to last in the row. My friend Danny to one side, Greg to the other. We had perfected the art of putting things on the points of our pencils and sort of snapping them to shoot whatever was on there rapidly in whatever direction we wanted. It was genius really. Balled up paper, just the right size and consistency, and you could pop anyone in the room on the head. We put pieces of our lunch on there and shot it anywhere we wanted. No place in the room was out of range. We were experts.

The best stuff was old, well chewed gum. It was deadly accurate and got the best "Ewww!" reactions from people. You chewed it, rolled it in your fingers until it was slightly dry and stuck it onto the pencil point juuuust enough to allow for good contact but a good release too. I never liked chewing gum before we learned the art of shooting it at people off our pencil points.

This particular morning I was into it. I had plucked my 3rd noggin with uncanny accuracy and I was feeling like I could hit anything. So I decided to take out my old piece of gum and shoot it into the trashcan. The one sitting beside the Teacher's desk. The desk the Teacher was still sitting at, grading papers.

Without giving it a thought, I took the gum out of my mouth, balled it up, placed it on top of the pencil, pulled it back and let it fly. It flew straight and true, just like always. Like I had done a hundred times before. I had no doubt it would end up in the trashcan.

But something happened that morning. Maybe a slight crosswind mysteriously blew through the room. Maybe gravity shifted for a second. Maybe there was a sunspot that misaligned the electron fields just a bit. I dunno. But for whatever reason, that gum started straight for the trashcan but about halfway there it began a slow left curve movement straight at you know who. Mr. Weir, my Teacher. Right for him.

During that flight I saw for the first time that maybe I wasn't a fool-proof shot after all. Maybe I could err in my judgment. I remember thinking that it couldn't possibly hit him. It had to fly over his shoulder where he would most likely never notice it. Yeah, that would happen. During that gum's flight I remember thinking that "maybe I should have waited until he left the desk". Yeah, all those thoughts flew through my brain just before that gum hit him. Hit him hard right in the shirt pocket. Right over his heart. If I had shot an arrow, it would have done him in.

Now, Mr. Weir wasn't a small man. Actually I think he went to college on a Football scholarship. He looked to me like a pro-wrestler. He was scary big. Once that gum hit him he stopped writing and slowly looked up from his papers. His narrowed beady eyes slowly scanned the room looking to see who the guilty party was that had just assaulted him in such an evil manner. Those eyes settled right on me.

I know what he saw. When the gum hit him I just froze in place. I still had the pencil at post-firing position. My mouth was hanging wide open. My eyes were as huge as saucers. I knew what he saw because suddenly I was terrified for my life. I had just assaulted a Teacher with a nasty wad of ABC gum. I was dead. It showed on my face very easily.

He looked at me, slowly looked down at the gum now stuck to whatever paper he had been looking over, then slowly looked back up at me. With his eyes never once leaving mine he said in a low, growly, menacing voice, "I want whoever is responsible for this to come up here and put it where it is supposed to go." The room was deadly silent. "Now!" he said in a slightly louder voice.

I somehow managed to get up on my wobbly legs and trudge the 150 miles to his desk. As I got closer the fire in his eyes glowed even brighter. He never even blinked once as I watched him try to stare holes through my head. I got to his desk and slowly reached out to take the gum from the desk. As I reached out he grabbed my wrist, still staring in my eyes (without ever blinking) and said, "That's strike one for you mister. You are now being watched. I won't forget this incident." His eyes narrowed even more when he said "incident". It made me flinch. Then he let me go.

I unstuck the gum from the paper, threw it in the can and slowly made my way back to my seat. I could feel him still staring at me the whole time. I sat in silence as the snickering around the room began. When I glanced over at my friend Danny he had his head down on his arms and I could see he was laughing very hard. I looked to the left at Greg and he was doing the same. I just sat there numb, feeling like I would wet my pants.

It took a few days before I could smile about it. I did eventually. Later in the year even Mr. Weir could smile about it. But for quite a few days I steered clear of him. I saw him watching me everywhere in the school. At recess, in the halls, at lunch. I saw him standing and pointing at me with my homeroom teacher. I knew he really was watching me.

I did all my math homework for weeks afterward. I worked hard (and silent) in his class after that. It was a scary time in my young life. Having assaulted a Teacher.

One would think I would have learned my lesson. But there are other similar stories to tell.....

Full Circle

I saw a car this morning with a Washington D.C. license plate. It had this line printed on it: "Taxation Without Representation".

I remember in school they taught us that that was one of the big reasons the Revolutionary War started. The colonists were taxed without being represented in government.

It occurred to me that we have come full cicle. These days we are taxed out the wazoo and we are not represented in government either. The clowns we send to office are not interested in what the people want and need. They are interested in what they can get from the special interest groups and lobbyists.

We are not represented at all.

We have come full circle.

The Cookie Philosophy

I remember sitting on the stairs of my house when I was a kid, watching the adults in the kitchen making cookies for the holidays. I sat and watched through the bars of the banister like I was in jail or something. One hand on each bar, face pressed tightly in between, straining to see exactly when those hot, melty chocolate chip cookies would come out of the oven. I always knew when they did too. They just called to me. They were and still are my favorite cookies. Pretty much the only ones I truely like. You can keep all those fancy-schmantzy ones. Gimme a good old, soft and warm chocolate chip cookie any day. Preferably every day. :)

I don't mind saying that because it's true. There are all kinds of cookies but when you watch people, the majority go for the staples. The chocolate chips, sugar cookies, oatmeal raisin and the peanut butter ones. Everyone talks about how they love the other kinds, the weird no bake ones that are all gritty, the so called smores ones, the fruit filled ones, the spice ones, the snicker-doodles, the shortbread ones (total bleech! there). They all talk about them but they all really return to the 4 staples.

I watched the adults make all these different style cookies over the years and the end result was always the same. The chocolate chip ones, the oatmeal raisin ones and the soft sugar ones cut into cool shapes with colorful sprinkles on them were the ones that everyone went for. They all were eaten. Most of the others ended up stale and in the trash.

I think it's sort of a metaphor for how some people are. The ones who freely admit to loving the 4 staples and munching mostly those are usually genuine, real people. The ones who talk all the time about some exotic style cookie but don't really like them are usually fake people. They just want to seem all different and more interesting than they really are. When no one is looking, they are mowing down some oatmeal cookies by the dozen. The people who really like the weird style cookies, like the Deep Shit cookies (link here) and scarf them down in leiu of the 4 staples really are differently minded. Usually they have their own style of living. They are cool people for parties but can invariably be annoying if you get too much exposure to them.

Pay attention this Christmas season to the people around you. See for yourself. I'll bet you find out the same thing I did. The type of cookies a person prefers, not just what they claim to prefer but what they actually eat, will tell you a lot about their true personality. I promise it will.

Now excuse me. I hear some chocolate chips calling me again. Breakfast of champions! ;)

I'm Still Here... Somewhere

The past week has been a whirlwind. I have been so busy I didn't even notice that I was a blogger slacker. This past week I went to Colonial Williamsburg, finished that major project I posted about last week, skipped a work day to finish art projects, locked myself out of the house (Duh!) and didn't take many breaks to breathe.

The biggest thing taking all my time was the art project. I got in the mood to do something in the house and started it not realizing that I didn't have enough time to finish it before our Christmas Open House/Party this Saturday. You just can't predict when the right creative mood will hit. I started the thing and then realized that if I attempted to do the color parts I would never get it done. I didn't want a half-done mess so I compromised and detailed it in black paint. It turned out pretty OK. Later on I'll paint in the colors but for now it's passable. Here are some pics. (Sorry for the quality.)

Full view of the arch between the kitchen and the dining room.


Close-up of the main picture.


View under the arch. The words are Italian. They say "Good food, good wine, good friends."



This is the writing on the wall in the dining room. (You can see the far view in pic. #1.) A Norman Vincent Peale quote copied in his handwriting.

Nicci saw a decal of this in a magazine for $169.00. Can you believe that? It took me maybe 1.5 hours to copy. And yes, the original was all crooked like that. I guess it's supposed to be authentic like his handwriting.

So that's it for the art. Otherwise we have been working on getting all the stuff together for our party. This thing has grown over the years to where it's almost too much now. But it is awesome to have everyone I know and care about in one place at least once a year. Any bloggers who are going to be in the area are welcome to stop by too. Meritt, I make an awesome Latte. :)

Today I am leaving in about 15 minutes for our department Christmas luncheon. It's at a fancy restaurant and we'll be having wine and good food and not returning to work. That's the best part. This week will end up being a 2.5 day week for me. I have no complaints. Then tonight I am going with my Uncle to his club dinner. I think I'm going to gain about 5 lbs. today. But it's all free so bring it on!

So I am still around. Just a bit busy this week. I'll get back on track after Saturday night. Uhmmm, maybe after recovering on Sunday I should say. :)

Update And Day Off w/Pics

Yesterday went exceptionally well. I was so happy with how things went... I just can't describe it here. The team we have is excellent. Everything works just like it should. It was a good day.

Today I am off. Not at work is cool. But I'm off so I can start an art project in the house. Those of you who have been around a while know how I like to paint stuff on my walls. "I don't need no stinking wallpaper or stupid decals!" Nope, all original art for me. This will be the first project in the new place. It needs to be a little more classy than the last place. Less cartoonish (which bums me a little) and more stylish. I'm starting small with the arch between the kitchen and the dining room. Once it's done I'll post something.

This weekend should be very cool too. WE are headed to Colonial Williamsburg for Christmas shopping and wine tasting. Williamsburg has to be beautifully decorated this time of year. Plus we are doing the special 'reserve wine tour' at the winery. I'm sure I'll hate almost all the wines but sometimes you get surprised. To me, the more you pay for wine the worse it tastes. So the possibility that all the special reserves will suck is pretty good. But I just want to do it once. It's a need I have to try anything and everything at least once. Who knows, I may be surprised.

Here are a couple of pics from the Christmas Party this past weekend. Enjoy them. I'm not sure they will be up long.

YB and Nicci. Isn't she beautiful? Yeah, I know, what's she doing with me? ;)


YB and Lindsey. She's so cool!


"Valentine" and Friend


The Timewarp Dancers, all 3 of them. ;)


That's pretty much all that came out decent. There are bunches more but nothing I want to post and explain.

Everyone have a great weekend. I won't be back online until Monday evening. Buh Bye!!

Not Even A Little Nervous

Today we are going to make the most expensive and possibly the most important product run that this company has ever made. We are going to do it for the first time ever. We are going to use a methodology that is in place because of my being here. The function and flow is all my brainchild. My responsibility. I should be nervous, right?

Somehow I'm not.

I am anxious to get it going. Ready to start and see how things go. A little excited that we are finally at this stage. The culmination of almost 6 months of work with a great team. Now we get to prove that we are the right group. That we are ready for 'prime-time'.

I'm thinking that my partner and I should have a little celebration after this stuff is in the can. Assuming it does go well. Which it will. (Confidence is a must today. :) )

So wish us luck. With any big project there are always "Oh Shits!" But we feel ready. Sometime this afternoon we will know just how good we really are.

I should be nervous, right?

Somehow I'm not.

See Thyself First

I was headed home yesterday, leaving a mall parking lot, when I noticed the really funny looking guy walking toward a truck. He looked like an egg with an egg for a head. Like egg stackers or something. I smiled and then thought, " I'll bet his parents are pretty too." Then I got to find out. They were right behind him. They all looked like eggs. Maybe they were real live Weebles? I dunno.

Then I started thinking about how strange it is when a person makes fun of another person because of something they can't even control. When you think about it, a person is born a certain way and they are stuck with it. Thats it. Barring radical reconstructive plastic surgery, they will basically be the same looking person forever. And some people choose to make fun of that. Me included.

It starts when we are little. Kids are the worst. Kids really screw with other kids when they think they are funny looking. Thats how the cliques form in grade school. Adults should know better.

There are some people out there who choose to look funny. They choose to look and act retarded so they deserve to be the butt of some fun jokes. But thats all relative too. I guess if someone chooses to have 100 piercings, body covered in tatoos and dress like a deadite in an Evil Dead movie all the time, thats their thing. They can choose that if they want to. But I choose to find them amusing.

Now, I mostly don't allow what I'm thinking to show to the person. Usually I have my private thoughts and move on. With the exception of a few choice friends, I never let people know what really lurks inside my mind. I don't think thats too cool to do unless a person earns it. Plus, I'm pretty much an average guy so I'm sure there are people who look at me and think of some funny stuff. I don't blame them. Just the shine on top of my head is fuel for some good jokes.

But yesterday I thought (not for the first time) that it is a strange thing to do, making fun of someone for something they have no control over. It made me feel a little less happy with myself.