I had the coolest intrusive thought on the way to work this morning. I was approaching the end of the highway off ramp and I noticed this really big guy walking on the edge of the sidewalk like he was thinking about stepping off to cross the street. I say huge because he looked to be maybe 6'4" tall and he had to weigh 350 - 400 lbs. He was huge. I knew he wouldn't step off the sidewalk though because there was a huge puddle of water lying right next to the sidewalk where he was. The puddle was about 4' across and at least 10' long.
Immediately my brain told me to move slightly to the right and run through that puddle because the sheer size of it and the size of the guy and the speed I was traveling would have made for the ultimate hit and run body splash. It would have been the greatest in history! He would have been totally soaked. It would have been tremendous! As I got closer it took all my will not to hit that water.
Believe me it was a massive struggle, but I managed to spare the guy. I'm happy to say that, although the temptation almost got me, all I have to show for it is the mental image of the soaked giant looking on incredulously as I sped by, wondering what kind of a-hole would do something like that to a person. I guess I passed some kind of test this morning, but it wasn't easy.
8 comments:
HA!!HA!!
You should have done it. That's one regret for you in 2005. :)
Congratulations on your great show of self restraint. You would have felt badly about it later... even if you were laughing your ass off about it now. Really.
Good triumphs over evil once again. I can't believe you were even considering doing it. That is just mean. :)
It would have been funny, for a while, but I never really intended to do it. That's what an intrusive thought is, a thought that just pops up from somewhere. Thinking it doesn't mean you do it.
Egghe, here's more proof that I showed great restraint, I'm not even driving my car. I've got a loaner that I'm returning this afternoon when I pick up my car at the shop. He'd never recognize me in my own car.
YB saves his karma in the nick of time.
I'm proud of ya, Bob (although the big splash would have been fun). *g*
Just think, what if that had been Bruce Banner you were thinking of splashing him, and you did it. Then, he turns into the Hulk and comes raging at you and throws your car into the side of a building.
You got to watch out for these things, you know.
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