Hopefully I've Learned

Recently I've been reminded that I have actually learned a bit of restraint in some areas. Specifically (for this post) restraint at speaking my mind all the time. In the past, I had none.

For many years of my life I would just say the first thing that popped in my head. Didn't matter who I was speaking to, what the situation was or who was present. In the midst of the conversation, I would lose myself and invariably blurt out whatever popped into my pea brain. Needless to say, it caused some problems.

I remember one time sitting at a bar listening to a friend confess to me that she had just returned from her beach vacation..... with her boss. Not the trip she claimed she was taking with her friends, but the trip she had taken because she was having a fling with her boss. Dumb ass me, I just said "I know". Without even thinking, I blurted it out. Not meaning it smart-assedly. I just already knew the truth and it was old news to me. (I get bored easily, especially with conversations.) It was a big deal to her. Her supposed secret obviously wan't a secret. She wasn't too happy with me and kept pressing me for how I knew already. I didn't want to tell her that her best friend had blabbed to everyone about it but I had already shoved my foot into my mouth. Oops.

I also remember a time when there was some young guy holding court in one of those trendy bars downtown. He was reading his poetry to a small group of women and talking about his grand views of romance and humanity. The women were all fawning over him and going on about how deep he was and how sincere he was. I was getting sick. So when they turned to me and asked what I found so funny (since I couldn't stop laughing), thats what I told them. I simply siad, "Your fawning over that guys line of crap is making me sick. Can't you tell he's just trying to impress himself? None of that stuff is workable in the real world. Only works to get a guy laid with women who are too stupid to know when a guy is BSing you." Needless to say, I wasn't too popular with that particular small crowd. (I did get free drinks from the bar tender and the owner that night.)

Yep, in the past I haven't been all too self-aware. I could relate many more stories like these. The good thing is that I have learned to think a bit before opening my big yap. Most of the time anyway. Recent events in life have made me realize that I'm not nearly as bad as I once was. I've learned a few ways of keeping quiet. Like, when someone is talking in my presence, not necessarily to me, and I've had enough, I just walk away.

Or sometimes I will get the urge to blurt out something and just the feeling that I want to react lets me know I had better think about it first. Those are the times I'll stop in mid-sentence and think a bit. If someone was paying attention most times they would notice that the beginning and end of the sentence didn't fit quite right.

A lot of the time of the time I just don't say anything. When someone is talking and I have no interest in speaking back, I don't. Believe it or not, this does save us from trouble. Unless they actually press the issue. Then, who knows what will happen.

I'm glad I've learned not to just blurt out whatever I'm thinking. It saves a lot of hassles. Like the time my old boss said something in a meeting that I found totally absurd and G and I just started laughing. She turned and asked what was so funny and wasn't she surprised when I responded with, "That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard anyone say. What planet are you from?" Nope, not the best thing to say to your boss at a staff meeting. With age comes wisdom, I guess. At least I hope so.