Friday, June 10, 2005

So, I’m A Guy Too

Tonight at the mall I heard a guy say, “They didn’t make girls like that when I was young”? Have you ever heard a guy say that? I have. I may have said it too; I’m not sure. I think the truth of it is that guys say that just to get away with checking out younger babes. Why else would they say something so obviously absurd? It’s got to be a guilt thing because good-looking women come in all ages and they start looking good to guys way back in the pre-teens.

I like looking at attractive women. Older or younger, it doesn’t matter. To me, there isn’t anything wrong with appreciating beauty. When I was younger, I checked out the girls in school and the teachers too. The girls looked just as hot to me as the older women. So obviously they ‘made girls like that when I was young’. Guys should stop saying dumb things like that. We all are “Girl Watchers” like the song says. It’s just our nature. It usually doesn’t mean anything. (I say usually because there are some perverts out there.)

The second best part of watching women is the effect they have on us guys. (The best part should be obvious.) A guy will lose his mind a bit when a pretty girl pays him some attention. It doesn’t even have to be anything personal either. Watch guys in checkout lines in the malls. They get next to a woman they find attractive and they start acting dopey. Making dumb jokes, complimenting them on their hair, clothes, etc…. and generally trying to be cool. They don’t necessarily want the woman. They do want the woman to want them. They will even try to start conversations with the woman to pretend to have some common ground, “Oh, you like underwater basket-weaving too? I’ve recently started learning that.” Uh huh.

My favorite scenes are when the ‘old guys’ start talking with a young cutie. The first thing they do is grab their belts and hitch their pants up a little higher. Then they start tucking their shirts in tighter. I don’t know why, but it happens almost every time. “What’s that you say?” *grab pants by belt* “It’s how much?” *Pull pants up hard and tight* *chuckles* “Well, I have that much right here in my wallet sweetie.” *Finishes stuffing shirt down pants again and whips out wallet* *hands money over while leaning on one elbow, winking slyly at the cutie* Old guys are crack-ups.

I’m just as bad as most guys. For example, at my favorite Starbuck’s there are several very attractive women working there. All are good at what they do and all are friendly. I like to stop and talk with them for a while when I’m there. Now, there is one whom I find particularly good looking. To me, she is stunningly gorgeous. (Check out my December archives. There’s a thong-flashing story there about her.) She is also the only one who can be marginal at doing the latte making sometimes. But it doesn’t matter, she could make luke warm, muddy water with a little whipped cream on it and I’d suck it down, swearing it was the best one ever. See? I’m afflicted too.

The difference is that I won’t make excuses. Unless it will impress the ladies, of course.

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