Fun At Ruby Tuesday

Well, the search for a decent steak tonight was fruitless. This town has no decent filets available anywhere. Or, should I say, anywhere I looked. So instead of grilling tonight, Nicci and I went to Ruby Tuesdays.

I haven’t been there in a very long time and I was pleasantly surprised. The salad bar was awesome. The food was good. The dessert was amazing. But truthfully, the best part was the people. You all know I’m a people watcher and this place was a gold mine of blogger nuggets!

The fun started immediately when we walked in the door. The hostess greeted us and all I could think was “Wow, look at Molly Ringwald with blond hair.” She looked a lot like Molly Ringwald. Of course that started me looking for more celebrities working the tables. Sure enough, there were quite a few. There was Nick Lachey at the bar. There was Kelly Ripa and the woman from “King of Queens” waiting tables. So was the blond, geeky singer guy with glasses from this years American Idol. (OK, so I suck with names tonight.) There was even a Ginger Lynn Allen look-alike. She brought our order to the table. I started wondering who did the hiring there. Everyone working was a pretty darn good looking person. I knew I was going to like the place. ;)

Our waitress sealed the deal. She really looked like Amanda Peet. A lot. Plus, she was one of the best waitresses we’ve ever had anywhere. Very personable and attentive.

Then the fun started. When we were seated there was no one else in our section. After a little while, the place started filling up. To our right and up one booth was a family of Mom, Pop and 2 little girls. Twins. Cute little girls. Well behaved. The Pop wasn’t so well behaved. Every time Amanda came by, he would run his eyes up and down her entire body. When she walked away, his eyes were glued to her butt. I really didn’t blame him. The girl was very attractive. Problem was he sucked at being discreet. I watched him watching the waitress and his wife watched him several times too. I got to see her reaction easily since she was sort of facing me. She didn’t seem to be appreciating his appreciation of Amanda.

Then he blew it. Amanda squatted down at the booth directly across from them and started taking an order. When she squatted down, her little shirt rode up and her pants pulled down a little, exposing a lacy underwear top. Ol’ Pop over there couldn’t stop looking. There really wasn’t all that much to see, so his intense staring made me pretty sure about how his love life was going. His wife also noticed Amanda squatting; by following her husbands eyes to the target. She started staring right at his face as he stared at the almost view of the pretty butt.

After a few minutes Amanda finished taking the order and stood up, tucking her shirt back into her pants. Pop sighed as she walked away and slowly turned toward his wife. The wife with the laser beams boring a hole in his head. When he saw her staring at him he knew he was busted. The look on her face was enough to scare the crap out of anyone. (Not me. I was enjoying this one.)

Through gritted teeth I heard her say “Did you get a good look, Honey?” She really accented the ‘Honey’ part. As soon as she started talking that way the 2 girls stopped what they were doing and just sat up straight. It seems this must have been the ‘Mommy corrects bad things’ voice. The guy just turned red and said something really stupid. “I wasn’t looking at her”. Uh huh. What a dope. When he said that I started laughing. (Nicci kicked me hard in the shin to keep me quiet, but it didn’t work too well.) She then leaned over and gave him a 5 minute bitching session that I’m sure he wouldn’t forget. The little girls excused themselves right in the middle of it and went to the restroom. I tried not to listen in (yeah) but I did overhear stuff like “You promised” and “humiliate me” and “you asshole”. My guess is this guy had a history of roaming eyes and maybe worse. Either that or the woman was a serious over-reactor.

Any way, the kids came back and the parents stopped ‘talking’. Totally stopped. For the remainder of the time we were there. As we left I stood up and the woman’s eyes met mine. She sort of half-smiled at me, knowing that we and several other tables had probably overheard the whole incident. When she half-smiled at me, I blew her a kiss. You should have seen her eyes. They got as big as saucers. Her husband turned to see what she was looking at and I winked at his woman. Then Nicci and I left.

Now that was fun!