Sunday, March 06, 2005

Philosophy 101

Things to ponder this day:

Is it OK for to yell "Fire!" a crowded movie house after the lights are out?

If you have candy and your friend doesn't, is it best to eat it in front of your friend who has none or should you wait until you are alone?

If the Pope shat in the woods, does it still stink if no one is there?

Is it OK to discriminate against people who really are dumber than you?

When the sun really does shine brighter on you is it OK to brag about it?

When you invite someone over for a dinner date just because you want to boink with them, is it OK to serve the appetizer in the bedroom?

At what age is it OK to start using the excuse of being a 'dirty old man'?

And how come there aren't any 'dirty old women'?

Is it OK to silently break wind on a crowded airplane?

And does it make a difference if you are in 1st class or coach?

When someone's dog poops in your yard, is it OK to train the owner by rubbing their face in it?

If you see 2 women kissing in public is it wrong to cheer them on? (Ladies may want to substitute men for women here.)

If your spouse cooks something really crappy for dinner is it OK to make fake barfing noises at the table?

When someone says something really stupid to you in front of your boss is it wrong to go "Duh!" really loud in their face?

And finally, when reading something as thought provoking as this is it OK to make derogatory comments to the author?

8 comments:

Me said...

No.

Either share or wait but don't eat in front of them.

Of course... the pope is human.

What information are you basing your opinion on? Maybe your conclusion about them being dumber than you are is flawed.

Maybe you are just too dumb to realize it's shining the same on everyone.

If they are condusive to it... yes.

Never. It's gross.

There are. They just have enough class not to wear it on their foreheads.

No... we all have to breathe it.

Same plane, same air.

If you could catch them maybe.

Cheer them on? Why in heavens name would I want to do that. Actually a nose-wrinkling 'ewww sick' comes to mind more than cheering anyone on. Get a room.

Maybe... if you are six.

Just smirk and keep it to yourself.

Derogatory? Hmmm... how about just typing out your thoughts as you read them? :)

Peeved Michelle said...

Yes.

Munch said...

boink? I'm Boinking hilarious. He's boinking retarded...

I like this new word..

Lynn said...

Gee, thanks, Bob. Now my head is spinning. *g*

Yankeebob said...

Well Meritt, I guess you let me know your feelings here. As for #4, how could anyone not be?

Do you have something against dirty old men? I can't wait to be one.

Michelle, that's the way. Direct and straight to the point. ;)

AT, use the word as much as you like. It's made a return to my vocabulary recently for some reason. I like words that are fun to say.

Sorry Lynn, didn't mean to add confusion to your life.

Me said...

Hey there YB... no, I don't think those are my feelings; they were just the first thoughts going through my mind as I read each sentence. :)

And as a Mommy of two little girls "dirty old man" has gross connotations to me and makes me ill to think about - that's just what pops into my head when I hear that phrase. Don't take any of my 'first thoughts' personally! I just figured you got this list off the net and I was giving some first thoughts as I read them.

Yankeebob said...

Hey Meritt, I didn't take anything personally. I was in one of those silly moods and, with the exception of the first item, I made all of these up.

I like the 'first thoughts' approach. I do it a lot. Those are the ones that are the most real. Sorry if my comment sounded like I was offended. I wasn't at all. :)

grace said...

hey, up and coming dirty old man! i'm looking forward to becoming a dirty old woman! :P