Wednesday, March 09, 2005

YB Loves The Grocery Store

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve done a grocery store trip story. I’ve been there but there really wasn’t much out of the ordinary happening, until tonight. I think the nuts were waiting to come out all at once.

The shenanigans started in the fruit and vegetable aisle. There was a woman there with a young girl, I’m guessing the girl was maybe 5-6 years old. The woman was apparently deaf and blind where the girl was concerned because to kid was dancing up and down the aisles singing (of a sort) and grabbing stuff and either squashing it or throwing it around. She grabbed a couple of bananas and literally broke one almost in half and then threw it back up on the pile. She grabbed a handful of grapes and shoved them into her mouth and with grapes and grape juice flopping out of her mouth proceeded to the next area. Her Mother would occasionally say something to her like, “Calm down or you’re going to get it”, but she said is so disinterestedly that the kid never took her seriously. As we were thankfully leaving the aisle I looked back and saw the kid reach up into the piles of lettuce and drag a bunch of them onto the floor. The Mother was quite a distance away from her. I doubt she ever knew.

A little later we were in front of the coolers where the fresh meat is on display. This store is the same as almost all other grocery stores in that it is dangerous to stand too long in this area. It’s like there is some kind of manic reaction to people getting near the raw meat and they become like Neanderthals. We were looking at the beef when suddenly, without warning, a cart rammed right into my back with enough force to push me ahead a little. I turned around to look at my attacker and there was this little tiny woman who had to be about 100 years old. Her cart was still in contact with me but she was looking at the meats like nothing had happened. I just stood there staring at her, waiting her out. In my mind this was actually kind of amusing. I could see her doing the slight glancing thing in my direction, but she wouldn’t look at me. I still was determined to wait her out. Finally she had had enough of me staring at her and she grabbed her cart, looked me right in the face and cackled “Why don’t you watch where you’re going?” I just busted out laughing as she proceeded to wrestle the cart down the aisle nearby. That still makes me laugh. Feisty old bag.

Now we’re close to being done and as we’re cruising past the Pharmacy I hear someone to my right side yelling at me. I turn to see who it is when someone from the left side starts talking to me at the same time. I’m stopped dead right in front of the Pharmacy with one person on my right that I hate running into because they just don’t know when to stop talking and let a person go. There is another one of them on the left side who could possibly be even worse. These 2 are the type that I don’t mind if they exist, but I’d rather they existed elsewhere because they make me crazy with their hour long talks about nothing. So for about 15 minutes Nicci and I have this woman on one side yapping away about her Grandkids and this guy on the other side blathering on about his health problems and I never really got much out of either ‘conversation’. I felt like a pinball bouncing between the two and they never even acknowledged one another the whole time. It was a strange scene. Then suddenly the woman just stopped talking and said “Nice seeing you again” and walked away. Immediately the man did the same thing. Sudden quiet enveloped us and the abrupt change sort of stunned us. It took a few seconds to recover and get going again.

As we were leaving there was an SUV parked right in front of the doors and the motor was still running. I walked past to go and bring the car up and noticed 2 young boys jumping over the front seat and then back again like it was a game to them. This sort of bugged me. Who would leave their truck running with young kids in it? I brought the car up and as we loaded our stuff in it we could see the boys taking turns pretending to drive the truck. I kept thinking that this is how major accidents happen. A negligent parent too lazy to walk a few extra steps lets the kids in a running vehicle and they do something to make it go. Then the parent ‘just can’t understand how it happened’. Eventually a woman came out, got into the truck and left, but it was a good 10 minutes that I had seen the thing sitting there. Stupid woman.

Well, there’s my trip to the grocery store this evening. As always, the place is full of free entertainment. Sometimes unwanted, but it’s there all the same.

6 comments:

Yankeebob said...

Nah Jen. No luck getting hit on tonight. That's a rarity for me. :(

I'll be laughing about the old lady for quite a while.

Jody said...

Just gotta love those old ladies. That's gonna be me someday...

Cindy-Lou said...

I adore your grocery store trips.

Me said...

That old lady... man! After 16 years in retail hubby will tell ya it's the 'older' crowd that can be down right mean and nasty!

Munch said...

That sounds like a sporting event story. Man. Give me some popcorn and put me in the nose bleed section.

3 points for little old lady. She brings home the bacon tonight....

Lynn said...

If you'd been in South Georgia and the little old lady had a walker, I'd guess you'd had a run in with my Millie Jericho. But of course, if it'd been Millie, she'd have said, "Why don't you watch where you're going, stud muffin," and winked at you.