Invasion Of Baltimore

Lisa and I invaded Baltimore yesterday. She had a bad tire on her BMW and decided it was time for a whole new set. So I recommended the dealership where I had service work done. They were awesome for me. So we took off the whole day expecting to hang together, do some shopping (remember I'm with Lisa here) and get some good lunch. The plan was to be home early afternoon after a pretty fun day together.

That was the plan.

We got to the dealership early. Before 8:00 a.m. Checked in and all that. Got them to look at a window that was starting to have troubles going up and down smoothly. Got the loaner car and headed to Starbuck's. We hung at Starbuck's for a while. Morning coffee and a munchie there is fun. There were a couple of women there chatting together that looked like fashion models. One of them was talking about her seperation and upcoming divorce. When I looked at her I thought, "Geez! What does the guy have going for him to give up such a beautiful woman?" She was stunning. I think I'd allow her to beat me daily if she was with me. I wouldn't even mind a little bit. :)

But anyway, we left Starbuck's and hit the Mall. Shopping with Lisa is an experience. I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't been with a professional shopper. She tries on about 87 things per store. Then she goes to the next store and tries on another 87 things. We keep going until she is tired of it then she goes back and gets the stuff she wants. She always remembers what it was, where it was and where the best price was. Impressive.

The good part for me is that I get to check her out modeling all the stuff.

So we finally realized that it was 11:40. 40 minutes after we were supposed to get a call from the service guy to update us on her car's progress. Lisa calls them and I immediately see something is amiss. Turns out they didn't have the tires for her car. As she talked with them she got hotter and hotter. I was with her when she made the arrangements. She called for the appointment, had them transfer her to the parts department to verify that they had the tires, and then verified with the service guy again that she would be in yesterday. She did all that last Friday. Now they didn't have the tires.

These guys didn't realize that it's not a good idea to piss Lisa off.

So we left right away and went back to the dealer. The conversation got pretty heated. She had done all the things she needed to do and they still had screwed her around. But they promised to have the right tires asap, no later than 3:00. I asked how long it take to put them on. They said 2 hours. Huh? They mount and balance them and then road test the car to be sure they are on right. That meant we would be stranded there for the whole day now. So I suggested, rather strongly, that they should just take the tires from a car on the lot. Then replace them once their screw-up tires got in. They wouldn't do that. Naturally. Because it was our fault.

The whole time they kept insuinating that the whole mess was Lisa's fault. That she should have paid for the service before coming so they would have held the tires. I asked them if they really were serious. If they had lost their freakin minds saying something like that. They were serious. So I asked them if all their customers were supposed to do inventory control for them. I also reminde them of the time 2 summers ago that I made an appointment for exactly the same thing and just came in without incident. Never paid in advance.

Silence.

So we decide to get some lunch. Try to ease off the frustration. We went to this sushi place one of the dealerships receptionists recommended. We knew it might be trouble when we walk in and there are about 25 kids running around unsupervised. They were screaming and playing and one of them was beating on this big ass drum in the lobby. All unsupervised. No parents. They were all having hibachi and saki.

We waited for a long time and then walked into the dining area. Finally someone noticed us and seated us. Then she took our drink order and said someone would be right with us. After about 10 minutes we decided their sense of time wasn't quite like ours. When someone else came to see us she hardly spoke english and kept asking for our drink order. We told her that the other girl had taken the order. She said that girl won't get the drinks and that she had to. So I asked her if that kid would be banging on the drum the whole time we were there. She looked at me, looked toward the screaming, banging kid(s) and then said, "Wat chu want for drink?" So we told her to forget it and left.

We did manage to find another decent sushi place close by and had lunch. Not much to say about that one. It was average but uneventful.

We go back to the dealership and Lisa decided we should just go shop elsewhere until they update us. I agreed but wanted an update first. She didn't want to go back in but we did. They hadn't updated us earlier as promised so I wasn't confident that they ever would. When I finally tracked down the service guy he had more bad news. The tires wouldn't be arriving until 5:00 now. That meant we might be heading home after 7:00. Maybe.

I wanted to know if he was ever going to let us know stuff like that. Did he know what a phone was?

Lisa was more annoyed now. She asked if they had checked the window yet. Nope. They were just starting on it. She said "No they aren't. Get me my car." Service guy tried to talk he rout of it by saying he would finish the car tomorrow and deliver it to her but that was the wrong thing to do. She said, "Yeah right. I'm going to let someone from here drive my car that far, dogging it all the way. No, get me my car now!" (She lives about 52 miles away.)

Finally they get the car and we start to leave. They are still totally unapologetic. The service guy is like, "Your fault. Too bad for you." Big jerk-off. We then head to another dealer where they bend over backwards to help. The difference was like night and day. They didn't have a loaner car when we got there but they got us one. They had the tires and they set them aside to be done this morning. They were very nice, professional and concerned that they could help. Totally different from the place that, unfortunately, I had recommended.

Now Lisa has to trek back down the road this afternoon to pick up her car. The one that was supposed to be done early yesterday.

It's sad really. That we not only have to make appointments for service but now we have to make sure the dealerships have good inventory control too. It would never have occurred to me to make sure the parts needed were there. But Lisa made sure. It still didn't work out. Thats what makes the whole day even more frustrating. She covered her bases and they let her down. Then told her it was her fault.

At least we got to hang together all day and we weren't at work. :)

Blah Bliggety Blah

Weekend recap: It was quiet, a little lame and pretty OK. Thats about it.

I almost checked in on the blog world yesterday. That would be weird of me. The thing is, I got away from blogging on the weekends a while ago. I really don't know why either. It just happened. Yesterday I almost checked in.

Maybe its a trend. Maybe next weekend I'll even post a blurb.

The Yanks beat the sux twice this weekend. Should have been a sweep. But naturally they couldn't hold the lead, 3 times, in the second game. More and more this years team reminds me of the teams of the 80's. All kinds of potential but they just don't gel. Plus the pitching isn't up to par. But with all the injuries piling up I'm not so sure you can expect much more of them. *sigh*

I didn't think too much of the Yanks teams in the 80's but I sure did like life then. The 80's were the best, weren't they? Talk about fun. Plus the music was the best. Not like today. I miss those days. Life was less easy but it was much more fun. Always an adventure.

I really don't feel like posting today, as this boring post shows. I think I'll stop now and check out youse guys' stuff. Maybe after the coffee kicks in I'll be able to think better.

I'll get back to ya...........

Posers And Fat-Asses

Sometimes on the ride home I get behind this guy driving a newer Mustang GT convertible. He is quite possibly the slowest driver on the face of the planet. The road home is a cool semi-twisty two lane road that a car like that can handle with ease. Not just handle, but be very fun to drive. But nooooo, this dope drives like hes about 95 years old with bad eyesight and no where to go. He is a poser.

Posers like that should be driving old people cars. Not wasting the nicer sporty cars on their poser selves. He should have a big old 4 door Lincoln or something. One that you expect to be a slow-ass traffic blocker. Then it would seem a little better. That poor Mustang is probably so frustrated seeing that windy, fun road but not being allowed to run it like it was built to run.

There are lots of posers in the world. The ones who get the cool, sporty cars just for the look are just one example. Someday I hope to be someplace with that guy at the same time so I can tell him he needs to sell the Mustang and get a car more suited to his old man self.

I wanted to call in again today. It's like, once I started thinking about calling in a few weeks ago, it just won't leave my brain. Not that I have time to waste here at work. Not that I have anything special to do with a day off. Its just that I have the idea in my head and it won't quit. Maybe it will happen soon. Then I'll spend the day off feeling guilty about it. lol

Lisa isn't here today. Yesterday she had the same feeling about calling in. Maybe she did it. That means I can leave early for a little wine tasting before going home. Whee! (Unless she really is sick in which case it would suck for her.)

Jersey Girl is going to help me write my yearly evaluation today. She's really good at writing up stuff like that. She has her Masters in her field and really knows a thing or 3 about how to present things well. I never needed help with these things but if she is into it (and I get to hang with her for a while) I don't mind. Maybe the right word here and there will mean a few more pennies later? Hopefully.

Its been a shortened week but it sure feels like a long one. I can't wait for the day to end.

Nicci and I went to WalMart for some stuff last night after work. I've decided that I should start one of those "Lose Weight Fast" programs. People would lose weight easily if I'd just sign them up to walk through WalMart 2-3 times a week. Its very scary in there. Either all the big fat chunks in the area shop at WalMart exclusively or it is true about how Americans are getting too fat. Even young kids are way too heavy at WalMart. Made me even more determined to keep the weight off.

I shudder to think of what it must be like at Kmart.

My old friend G wrote the coolest song about how fat girls dress sexy. We were at a club watching a band (as always) and there were these two really heavy girls dancing right in front of our table. One had all spandex on. The worst part was the top only barely covered her giant boobs. Her belly hung way out and over the tight spandex pants. When I nudged G he picked up his glasses and looked at her, quickly threw them down again and screamed loudly. It was hilarious. Then he wrote a song about how fat girls always seem to dress sexy. We played that one in the band for a while. :)

Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

I guess I'm not really politically correct, am I? I forgot that it's not "fat". It's "Heavy" or "Big" or Large". Silly me. Those terms are much better I suppose. They help the fat-asses forget that they really are fat-asses and then they can feel better about themselves. I guess I'm just one of those meanies who prefer to call an apple an apple. :)

'Cause you know, sometimes an apple is just an apple. Nothing else.

Watch Him Walk

I was walking down the hallway when the gay guy from another department came out of a lab door. He smiled nicely and we said hey to one another. Then I kept going.

I could hear him walking behind me so I knew he was there. It made me start to wonder if gay guys check out other guys? When I am walking behind a woman I catch myself looking. Usually its the shoes I look at first. (That is the truth!) But then I check out other things. Not trying to be a sleaze or anything. Its just a natural thing people do.

Anyway, I was wondering if he was looking me over. I think that if it were me, I would be checking out the guy in front of me. If even for just a moment. But do gay guys do stuff like that? I think they must. But I have no idea.

I'll bet lesbians check out other women. Women check out other women all the time. Its fun to hang with Lisa and look people over.

Whatever. It made me walk a little funny thinking someone was watching me walk. I hate that part of walking in front of someone. :)

For Lisa

I don't like cliches. A lot of people say that too. But did you notice that we all live cliches? We talk in cliches? We are cliches. Think about it.



I gave it all up today.

Gave it to a girl with nothing more than a want.

Gave it to her without a thought or hesitation

I gave it all up today

now I'm left without.

But I dont feel too bad

or too empty.

Just a little of both.

I gave it to her and she smiled sweetly.

"Thank you" was all she said.



We try to be different but the truth is we all look for that routine, comfortable lifestyle. The one where we are safe. Where there are few surprises. No chance of getting into too much out of the ordinary. That is too scary. Its too unpredictable. It wrecks the smooth flow. We are cliches.



Old guy on the bench.

Sitting alone, remembering them.

Where did life go for you?

Did it make you feel good?

Did it make you feel ok now that you are alone?

Was it worth the risks you took?

You are here now and I want to know.

Know how to not be you.

Alone is lonely sometimes.



I think there are few who live an un-cliche life. I think the ones who do tend to be what we'd call weird. Maybe freaky. Nicely we say things like artsy, creative, out-there. Inside we say idiot, oddball, dork. The true adventurers are the ones who burn out quick. They leave us early. Then we say "I told you so." On the inside we admire them and wish we had a little oddball in us still. Outwardly, where people can see, we are the 'I told you so' groupies.

But they weren't cliches. They are what we wanted to be. But we are afraid of the inevitable. The whole dying young thing is scary. But is it a bad idea? To live the way you want to, enjoy all the moments you ever want to and then be done with it? Besides, not all die young. The ones who don't are the ones with the best stories to tell. I sorta think that beats the hell out of having moments pass us by, then regretting them.



The breeze blew by me.

I forgot to notice it.

It nudged me, cooled me, stroked me, begged me to acknowledge it.

I pretended it wasn't there.

It was unusual.

It was different and different is scary.

Different is not what is expected.

It was beautiful, exciting, exotic and alluring.

I wanted it but the fear made me hesitate.

Then I forgot.

Too long I forgot it.

Then it was gone.

And so was the moment.

Now I want it back.

One shot deals are just that, one shot.

Now I want it back.



I am a cliche too. I never wanted to be. I once wasn't. I got myself into a lot of turmoil over it. I never minded it then either. I never had a moment of hesitation then. Almost never a dull moment. Always an opportunity. Then I quit. I gave up. I succombed. Some days I wish I hadn't. Most days. They all run together now. Routine after routine after routine. Someone else wanting a piece of me. Someone after that wanting a piece. Then more routine after routine after routine. What I wouldn't give for that little breeze to blow by me again. Just one more time. One more chance to go for it.

I am a cliche.

Pigging Out Is Working Out

Nicci and I went out to the little cafe for dinner last night. In the booth behind us were three big women. I really mean BIG women when I say BIG. They were whoppers.

Since I was closest to them I could hear their conversations. Actually, I believe the whole restaurant could hear them but I got the best seat. Normally this isn't anything to blog about but this time is different. They talked constantly about diets and weight. Constantly.

They complained about their weight as they sucked down giant portions of breaded shrimp. They talked about dress sizes, 14-16-18, as they slammed down huge piles of fries. They cried about the waitress being slow to refill their Pepsi glasses for the third time. They claimed to be walking every night to get exercise as they ordered double chocolate fudge and whipped cream on their dessert ice cream sundaes.

It was hilarious. Maybe thats a new exercise, pigging out.

Makes you wonder doesn't it? Who do they think they are fooling? No one in the restaurant, thats for sure.

I got bored with the limited choice of Baseball games on last night (one lame choice only) so I decided to try the online game I've been playing off and on. My character is a female. A hottie for sure, but they all are. The artists do a good job of drawing the characters. So some dork starts flirting with her/me. I think he assumed I was female since my Warrior is too. He was asking me all kinds of sexual things. He started telling me he'd like to meet up and do naughty things to me. I asked him several times if he realized that it was a game and that it was a strong possibility that I wasn't a woman. He just wouldn't quit. So I blocked him from communicating with me/my girl. Freak.

What kind of loser uses an online game to try and get laid? Probably the same kind that uses blogging. I think the gamer is worse though. Wait! Maybe they are the same? Oooh.

Today I get to do my first personal evaluation. I forgot about those things. At the last job we never did any of them. I don't think I like them. More importantly, I can't believe I have been here a year already. Time really does fly.

Speaking of flying...............

New Poll + Old Poll(s) Results

I finally got around to doing a new Poll. These two have been around a while. Looks like we, as a small group, are capable of having a fling but the second Poll shows that we are pretty evenly split about the moral issue of it. Strange. Typical American attitude though. We can do anything but we like to feel bad about it later. LOL


Could you have a sexual fling without letting it interfere with your 'real' life?
Votes
Absolutely. It's just for fun. 18% 2
No, never. I couldn't even think about it. 18% 2
Maybe, if the circumstances were right. 9% 1
Yes, I already have and it was fun. 36% 4
Yes, I have but it wasn't fun so I won't bother again. 0% 0
People who do that suck! 18% 2

11 votes total

Do Americans overeact to infidelity?
Votes
No, it's wrong any way you look at it. 55% 6
Yes, it's just sex for fun. 36% 4
Maybe. I'm not sure. 9% 1

11 votes total

Side note: Remember the days when a Poll got about 50ish votes? I do.

Happy Birthday To Me

I just want to take a moment and say thanks to all the friends out there who wished ma a happy birthday. All one of you.

Thanks Peachy! :)

No, I didn't remind anyone so I didn't expect any birthday wishes. But I do expect all my blog friends to remember from one year to the next the happy day. Cmon! How can you forget? lol

But seriously, it was my birthday this past weekend. Sunday to be specific. The whole weekend was a blast. Except Monday morning. But otherwise it was great. I was away having big fun so I missed all the shenanigans of my blog friends over the weekend. I'll be doing some catching-up today.

I found the coolest things this weekend! I hate to shop for me at any time but I heard about a special pair of Reeboks that I had to investigate. They are an MLB special and they have the Yankee emblem on the side. The best thing was that when I found them they were on sale. Buy one get the second for half price. So I bought both styles. :P Now I'm set for a long time.

I really do hate shopping for me. It bores me to no end. But I love to shop for a woman. Its fun to me to dress them up and all that. (Some of you probably remember my Victoria's Secret rule, right?) Shopping for myself just bites. I get all grumpy and impatient. So it's a good thing the Yankee stuff was so easy to find.

Anyway, I'm one year older (officially) and it passed mostly uneventfully. I got some cool Yankee stuff, had 2 miniparties, did some travelling, had sex and generally had an awesome weekend. Now I'm going to check around and see whats been happening while I was away.

Tied Up

Very busy morning for me. I'll be tied up at least until lunch time (not the good kind of tied up either). So all of my lovely blog friends will have to wait until then for more wit, wisdom and action packed adventures from me.

Yeah, I know. You are all anticipating it so much. Calm down. I'll be back soon.

LOL

Smile For Me

The most beautiful woman in the world works here.

OK, that may not be the truth but there is a woman who works here that is pretty darn close to the most beautiful woman I've ever met. She may be exactly that but I just don't remember all the women I've ever met so I can't say that with all honesty.

Anyway, she was in my area today. This is a rare thing. I do see her about 2 times a week when I go to the building where she works. I like seeing her (for the obvious reasons I stated above) but the thing I've noticed is that she never smiles. As a matter of fact, she always looks very intense. Not grumpy. Not mean nor annoyed nor stuck up. Just intense. Icy, focused and totally intense.

I noticed that again today and I had the urge to tell her my observation. I wanted to walk up to her and say, "Hey, you know something? You are probably the most attractive woman I've ever met but you always look so intense. What gives?"

But just as soon as the urge hit me I envisioned her smacking me hard in the side of the head, kicking me in the groin and then spitting on me as she walked away. Then I envisioned her saying as she exited the room where she just trashed yours truly, "That’s what gives butthead. Any more questions?"

Then I look up and she is smiling.

It's a really nice smile but in my mind, it wasn't worth the pain to see it.

So I think I'll wait for something other than my abused, crushed form lying on the floor at her feet to make her smile.

Blah Blah Blah

Did you ever notice how people like to repeat themselves? When someone is talking and they make a point, they usually repeat it. Sometimes more than once. It's a weird thing. I think I do it too. Lately I have noticed it a lot. Many conversations consist of repeated sentences. Several ideas/thoughts/opinions repeated more than once.

Oh well. Repetition is the best way to remember something.

Last night I was bored. Bored, bored, bored. (See how I repeat myself?) No good Baseball was on. No good movies. I decided to log in and check out the WoW game but it was one of those update nights. One patch only 276mb but it took over 5 hours to download. Isn't that odd? My computer should be able to download t a 276mb patch in a minute (or less) but not with the WoW game. It takes forever.

Anyway, I was waiting for a friend to call during the boredom time. (That was going to be my original point here.) She has tried to call me several times this week but I haven't been able to answer. I've been away or busy or just didn't have my phone on. Now last night I have nothing going on and she can't call me. Ironic, isn't it? lol

I'm kinda blah today. Don't really feel like doing much. All I really feel like doing is jumping into some work and getting the day done. I'm gonna find something to do that will kill the time so the day will fly by. Busy is best for these kind of moods.

Some dope in Engineering scheduled a meeting from 9:00 until 1:00 today. When I saw him yesterday and he asked me if I'd be there I just laughed at him. Yeah, I'll be wasting my whole day sitting a talking and not getting anything done. Sure, that sounds like a plan.

I think they can handle the meeting stuff without me. I bet the highlights could be summarized in about 2 sentences anyway.

The Yankees lost again last night. *sigh* I know they will get better but this stretch is a bummer. Too many hurt pitchers. They have started (as of the weekend) 21 games with rookie pitchers. How odd. The last 2 rookies that started got knocked out of the game early. Literally knocked out. Hit by line drives. One got a broken bone in his leg for it and one got a broken finger. The finger guy only pitched to one hitter too.

Imagine getting called up to the big leagues for your first start. Your life-long dream come true. Then imagine the first batter you pitch too hitting the ball right at you and breaking your finger, knocking you out of action for 3 months. 3 whole months because the finger needs surgery. Unreal.

I'd cry. A little maybe? In private. :)

Hope my Jersey Girl is in better spirits than I am this morning. It's nice to get a lift from friends every once in a while. But she has a lot to be happy about these days so I'm sure she will be fun, as always.

K, time for coffee. Gotta get moving so the day ends fast.

Ring Around The Collar

I was thinking about a lot of stuff this morning. Some of it I thought "Hey, I should write that on the blog." But of course I forgot it all. Typical of me. I like to say that if I still had hair I'd be a blonde. I think thats the truth.

Do blondes get offended by blonde jokes?

I was thinking earlier that I like the way my blog is going these days. I just sit down and write whatever comes to mind (when I have the opportunity). I think thats why I started one in the first place. That ideal sure got lost in the shuffle for a while. I mentioned that to Lisa once recently, about how I don't like the way blogging has ended up for me. All pre-thought out and all. All concerned about what blog friends would think. She said it was weird to hear that from me since I never cared at all for what others thought about me or what I said. Sorta struck a chord with me. I realized that she was right (as always when it comes to me) and that I needed to just write what I felt like. Or quit. I'm not quitting.

I mentioned the other day about the cool Tace Bell Chihuahua commercials that I miss. I also miss the goofy "ring-around-the-collar" ones too. Remember those? I think it was for Wisk. But they made no sense at all and I always laughed. I remember this one where a guy had been busy making dinner for his girl. When she got there he was all excited and was telling her the whole menu that she was just in time for. He was saying, "You are just in time for my Chicken L'Orange, my veggies... etc..." and she interrupted him and said, "and your ring around the collar." Ha ha!

Now there is a mood breaker. I always thought that the dinner after that probably didn't go well. The romance was gone for sure. Poor guy, slaves away and all he gets is an insult about his laundry.

You never hear about ring around the collar anymore. Have we conquered that problem with the modern laundry methodology? Must have.

Today I get to go and help the people in the production area. They are behind and have a heavy schedule. I love days like this. Its why I volunteer. I don't have to think too much, don't have to schmooze anyone. I just have to keep busy. The day flies by. Thats a good thing.

The Jersey Girl just left my office. She comes by every morning for coffe and catching up. We work on a few projects together and we talk shop then. Coffee time is for other, more important stuff. :) Its our routine. Funny how certain routines are so improtant sometimes. When we don't have the time for morning coffee, the day just isn't the same. Now today will be pretty OK I think. At least the early part.

I started this post 1.5 hours ago. The interruptions and work stuff keeps getting in the way. Time sure does fly by.

I'm Steak Tartar

Remember this creepy guy from Sin City?





He works with us now.

I just saw him in the hallway and if it's not the same guy, I am surprised. The guy looks so much like Kevin that it really creeped me out.

It didn't help that he kept staring at me as I walked past. I started wondering if I looked tasty to him or something. Maybe I looked like a pork chop or something.

Nah, I probably looked like steak tartar to him. Thats more his speed I think.

*shudder*

Yo Quiero Taco Bell

I need Taco Bell. Today I will be going to Taco Bell for lunch. Thats all there is to it. Its the one trip I make when I'm annoyed and frustrated. Going there makes me happy.

Funny thing about me, food makes me happy. When things aren't quite right with the world, food can make the smile come back. Thats a sign of getting old, I think. In younger days it was hooking up with the friends. Or sex. lol

Today I'm wondering how long I can make it here at work. I realized last week that I am frustrated more and more every day. I love being back. Love the group I am with. But the system for getting things done sucks. It is inefficient, sluggish, ineffectual and the people are mostly disinterested. I'm here to make a difference and I have, but going forward is like running a race in waist deep water. So much resistance.

But the people, resources is the cool catchphrase here, all talk a good game. They all put on the show of wanting things to improve, progress, become better. But after the big show in public they all go back to their comfy routines. They prefer to be left alone in their own little ways and not be bothered. They don't want things to be changed. They don't want their routines to be different.

But they know how to talk about being different.

I love the job. Love what I am supposed to do. I know a lot about it. Have lots of experience with a lot of it. But the parts I need to learn have to come from the posers. Those are the areas that are resistant. Those 'resources' are the slowest and least responsive. I think its mostly because they have been in the same place far too long. Routines are only good for production people. They need to reproduce their routines the same way everyday. Moving forward and making things better is not the place for "same old, same old", y'know?

So today I will take a long lunch and go to Taco Bell. Just the thought puts a smile on my face. I am like Andre Agassi. He once said "You can't beat someone too badly and you can never drive too far to get to Taco Bell."

Hey, remember the cool little chihuahua that used to be in Taco Bell commercials? I loved that guy. I have one too. He talks when you squeeze him. He says "Yo quiero Taco Bell". I wish he was still hanging around. :)

Anyway, everyone have fun this morning. I'm going to go and wade through some more crap before taking my much needed mental health lunch. I know this is normally the place for the weekend recap but this morning I'm a little bugged so....... maybe I'll make it back in a little while for all that jazz.

Happy Monday.

She's Got The Look

I saw the look. You know... "The look." I knew before anyone told me that the two I saw hanging together in the hallway were having private boinkings on the side. She is married but not to him. He wants her.

I know that look. If you've ever see anyone is that stage of a relationship where everything is new and exciting you'd know what I mean. Their face just changes dramatically. Totally lights up. The eyes get a little wider. The smile is genuine. The body posture changes. I knew when he staerted talking with her that they were an item.

Then her sister confirmed it. As a matter of fact she told me details she shouldn't have. Then she claimed that it disgusted her. So I asked why she didn't say anything to her sister's husband if it bothered her so much. She said she couldn't do that to her. But it disgusted her anyway.

I think she wished she had a fun buddy.

So once again I was right. I've called it right more than twice in my life. I think I've been guilty of the look a few times too. There is a certain way two people act when they are having some new adventurous fun together.

Too bad that look and the feeling with it is only temporary. I hope they enjoy it while it lasts.

HappyDayPeachy :)

Someone we all know (and adore) is having a Birthday tomorrow. I'll give you a hint... It's Peachy.

Nice hint eh?

Everyone go over there and wish her a Happy Birthday, k? I will soon. I just wish we had time to meet up so I could give her a real hug and smootch.

I guess I'll have to owe you Sweetie. Have a happy day. :)

If I Were King

Yesterday was a really rough day. But it wasn't a bad day. Does that make sense? It sounds twisted but thats me, twisted and usually confused. It started out with a problem that hasn't been fixed causing me to send hate emails to everyone. Not to everyone but to the dumbasses who ignore the problem altogether. But after all that stuff the day flew by. Very busy and then it was over. Suddenly I was home lazing around.

I remember thinking last night that I don't remember too much about the beginning of the day. That made me laugh.

Lisa and I had enough of it yesterday afternoon and we left early for the Tavern. Had some wine (and some whine) and that is probably why the afternoon seemed better. Lisa can make afternoons better. Wine can too. :)

I was thinking this morning how stupid diesel trucks are. They are stinky, noisy, fuel unefficient and the drivers believe they own the road. They sit in the left lane of the highway and just stay there. No matter if someone else is trying to pass, you know, in the PASSING LANE, they just stay there. Suffocating the drivers behind them with their noxious fumes. I'm not real sure why anyone buys those things. I am sure that they suck and should be banned. "Diesel anything, into the dump."

Ah, if I were King!

I read this thing last night written by a prominant black american writer about the New Orleans hurricane thing. He was saying how a few years ago the black population would have been the first ones to not only evacuate when the storm came but they would also have been the first ones to help others. But not anymore. He said the current black population is too lazy and wants everything handed to them and they just sat there and waited for the government to come and get them. Then they wanted to blame Bush for it all.

Thank the liberals for the welfare state I guess. They wanted to train the population to be solely dependent on them and thats what they got. Personally, I don't think it's worth a few extra votes every year if people can't rely on themselves and get killed.

Isn't it a weird world these days? No one wants to say "Hey, I guess I screwed up. Sorry." They all want to point fingers and blame everyone else for things. I always thought that blaming the President for the failures of his underlings was stupid. In a big corporation the President of the company doesn't get the shit if someone under them screws up. They get to fire the loser and find someone new. But politics being the chump game it is, everyone wants to blame the person they didn't support. Weird.

My partner at work, Amy, and I had a picture taken on the cruise Wednesday. One of those where you pose before boarding. She and I have worked closely for almost a year now getting the new area up and running. We are friends now. But one of the women in the group was freaked out about our pic. She went on and on about how thats something couples do. She asked Amy what her guy would think about it. She thought we had committed adultry right there in front of the camera. lol

Amy told her guy about it and he just laughed. Nicci thought it was a nice picture. Where the hyper-adulterer-cop-person is coming from I'm not too sure.

I wanted to call in sick every day this week. I think I'm burned out a little. But I'm lucky I didn't. Lisa is off next week so now I can plan a day off with her and not feel guilty. Here's to being too busy to be lazy and it working out right for a change.

Ok, enough of this. These days I don't know where this blog will go. In a year or so I'll look back and see what was up. Hope it is cool then.

Happy Friday.

Cruising The Day Away

How do women survive? For real, the whole hormone thing gets me sometimes. Nicci was on one again this morning. Not real bad but still, kinda bad. She explained it to me that the hormones kick in before 'that time of the month', then again when its going away. Seems like a raw deal to me.

I think women got the short end of the stick here. They have all that crap to worry with. Sometimes they don't even know its happening until they say/do something to someone they can't take back. Then the crying starts.

Blame it on Eve, I guess.

Guys aren't as bad. Even though we have periods too. Don't let the macho guys BS you. We have those few days a month that we have the mood swings and stuff. But guys don't do well with the womens hormone rushes until they start to realize that it's just that time. Then they can relax and know the storm will pass. The guys who don't ever figure that out are the ones who are alone a lot. :)

Today is our big team building cruise. I'm all relaxed and casual. My Hawaiian shirt, shorts and Reeboks. I've gotten a few comments from people at work wondering how I can come to work so casual so I tell them I renewed my contract and the dress code was taken out for me. I hope someone buys that story just once.

I think that after the last cruise experience we aren't allowed to drink anymore. That was a wild time. But even if we could I don't think it would matter today. The group is a good one but not too many are serious partiers. Mostly they are conservative lame-asses.

Not that theres anything wrong with that. lol

Isn't the term "partiers" a funny one? How did drinking to excess, getting rowdy and drunk become partying? I don't think I get that.

Anyway, everyone have agreat day at work. My job today is to kick back and enjoy the day. I think I can handle that assignment. Tough job but someone has to do it.

Joey Tribiani

I've noticed that my posts are getting kinda long lately. So for those of you with short attention spans:



"How you doin?"







The end.

What About Bob?

Today I really wanted to call in sick. I just didn't feel like coming to work. We've all been there. It felt like a day to kick back and enjoy. But I didn't call in. So you know how long this day will end up being.

I heard someone in that hallway answering a "hello, how are you?" with a "I hate mornings." It made me think about how much I don't like things like that. You know, the automatic responses people have to situations. For example, Monday mornings everyone you meet asks how your weekend was. Tuesdays everyone "wishes it was Friday". Wednesdays people all laugh about 'hump day'. Thursdays people all give you the exasperated "This week is so long! Is it Friday yet?" Then on Friday everyone says "TGIF!" We all have automatic responses. Even me. Yes, I know thats surprising but it is true. When someone asks how I am today I usually say "All right so far." Then I'm bugged because I spoke without thinking about it. Oh well, we are all human after all.

Some of us just don't always resemble a human all the time.

Which reminds me of another thought I had this morning. I was thinking that most laywers these days aren't really human anymore. I bet God is bummed that He invented laywers. Well, no. He's probably bummed at the way humans have bastardized the profession. Yeah, thats probably it. I think most of them won't be making it into Heaven. If any lawyers are reading this, my opinion is that you should consider a change of profession. Unless you are a natural sleaze in which case, stay the course and burn. :)

Nope, I have no idea where that all came from.

There's a salesguy coming in today to chat about a new project I'm working on. He has a generic name. Just like me. If you know me you know my name is very common. Face it, Bob isn't a rare name. Exciting and exotic and sexy, yes. Rare, no.

The cool thing about the name Bob is that you can't mess it up. Spell it forward or backward it's still the same. But anyway, this guy has another of those generic names. I wonder why moms and dads do that to kids? If I had a kid I'd name them something really cool. Something with pizazz. I think that a name can predispose you to certain things in life. Bob is a bland name with little zing. So my personality being anti-everything, I am silly and goofy and full of crap most of the time. That is a way of fighting the name expectations. But a lot of Bobs are just what the name implies, bland.

Makes you wonder what a person named Hortense would end up being in life.

Tomorrow we are doing a boat trip. All the workers in my department and some of the supporters from other areas are headed out to what they call a "Team Building" day of cruising and food. It's a nice thing they do here. I'm looking forward to it. I wonder if the people who hate their co-workers feel the same way though? It would be hard to socialize all day with people you don't like. Probably be better off staying at work. Luckily I work with the best group around so it should be a blast.
I'm thinking that shorts, kicks and a nice Hawaiian shirt for the day is in order. Tough work day, eh? lol

I heard some bozo last night on ESPN talking about how the Yankees are done and they should start thinking Wildcard. Makes you wonder where these so called experts get their credentials. It's freakin May dork boy. Almost 5 months of baseball left and we are supposed to give up the division already? Please.

You guys don't realize who you are talking about here. By the All-Star break we will be within shooting distance of first place, if not in sole possession of it. Then after the break the sux will have their yearly collapse and the Yanks will surge, like always. Then in Spetember we will be looking at the latest shot at a Series win again. Morons don't know Baseball. Don't know the Yankees. They should get a real job since they are totally unqualifed for the one they have.

Ok, enough musing. Gotta go do some stuff. If you read this to the end, God bless you. I'm impressed. Have a great day. :)

Broken Lottery Tickets

This was one of the better weekends I've had in a while. You'll notice that when my weekends are really good I won't be blogging much during the weekend. Then on Monday, here I am. It's kinda like sometimes you use your blog (and blog friends) for venting. But if things are good you just stick with the flow and let everyone know later that you were having a kick ass time. Who needs a support group when you have a blog, right?

That made me think of our neighbor. She is the one who had a daughter commit suicide not too long ago. Nicci went over to hang with her a bit on Saturday because she was "having a bad day". I get that. She misses her daughter. But now the grandaughter is thinking of starting a support group for people who have parents that committed suicide. I was thinking that in our little tiny town, that would be a pretty small group. Besides, those groups rarely do much but turn into BS sessions anyway. Like AA for example. Those people go in there and bitch about their day or their week and find mutual ways to justify why they fell off the wagon again. Maybe it's different in the crybaby groups. I dunno.

Nope, I'm not a fan of support groups.

So we went to Longwood Gardens (link, link, link) yesterday. I asked Nicci what she wanted to do with herself on Mother's Day and she chose that. I don't mind at all. It's an amazing place. I have lots of pics to post but that will have to wait until tonight. If you've never been there check it out. It's great (if you like gardens). I do. I especially love the big trees. They have the biggest surviving Elm there. It's my favorite spot. I don't know if it's the biggest anywhere but it's a giant one.

I took some sneaky pics while I was there. I love to see the old people cruising around on the little cart things. Like George Costanza did when he pretended to be handicapped. They look like they are racing sometimes. Those little flags on the sticks they have attached to the race carts crack me up.

I tried really hard to get a pic of this one girl we kept running into there. She was a stocky asian girl who had the most odd outfit on. Very short shorts, plaid. Black nylons. Red Chuck Taylors. A striped shirt that let her pudgy belly show out the bottom. A flowered vest and a tie. She had a tie on but the shirt had no collar. It looked like she was trying to strangle herself. To top it off she had really spikey hair, 3 colors, and some Elvis Costello black glasses. She was something. If Nicci hadn't stopped me I was going to ask her to pose for me. I'll bet she would have. :)

Today I get to give blood again. The bleeder people love me. I don't love them but it's OK. They use my blood at the hospital for newborn babies. That's what they tell me everytime so I guess I'll believe them. I'm O negative. Mean anything to anyone? Apparently I can give blood to anyone. But I can have only my type in return. I guess I'm more discerning than most people are, eh? lol

Our fabulous Scion is in the shop again. This will be the 10th time for the same problem. We have filed a complaint with Toyota about it. They are all kiss-assey but it still is annoying. 10 times! Tell me again that Japanese cars are so great. Remember the trials I had with the last Toyota? Some of you do I'm sure. I've had 2 Toyotas and they both kept me in trips to the garage bi-monthly. You can keep them. I'm going with German engineering from now on.

I'm not in the mood for this stuff today. I guess somehow I need to get motivated. When the weekend is so good, Mondays are worse than usual. But until the Lottery machine stops giving me broken tickets, I guess I'll find a way to hang with it.

I wonder how many broken lotto tickets I've thrown away in the past? Probably enough of them that had I invested the dough intead I could retire tomorrow. It feels like that anyway. These days I think the American Dream isn't the same thing it used to be. It's now simply finding a lottery ticket that isn't broken. Then comes easy street.

Thats where I'm headed. Easy Street via Lottery Boulevard. I'll let you know when I get there.

Silly Face YB

Yesterday was one of those days that just flew by me. I was so busy and constantly moving, with a headache that wouldn't go away no matter what drugs I popped. Now today I'm trying to remember what I did. Ha ha! Anyone else ever have that happen? It is all a blur now. Lucky for me I have a little sticky pad thing I carry with me to write down reminders. Otherwise I'd just be here wondering wtf I need to finish today. My memory is like that sometimes. Especially yesterday because I wasn't feeling real great.

I would like to take a second right here to thank whoever it was who invented the sticky pads/notes. Good job! They are a lifesaver sometimes.

This morning has been weird. Nicci woke up in a foul mood, bitching and complaining about everything. One of those moods where she finds little, tiny things to attack me about and make them into big, giant issues. I weathered the storm this morning by laughing at every chance. (When she wasn't looking, of course). I knew she was just grumpy and didn't mean anything. So it amused me a lot. I acted serious when I was near her but when my back was turned I was cracking up. People who fly off the handle for no reason can really be amusing sometimes. By the time I left for work she was all sweet and normal again. Chalk it up to PMS, she said. lol

At Starbuck's on Wednesday someone ordered something and specified that it had to be 180 degrees F. Who orders something like that? And how hard is it to make sure the temperature is right? I smiled when I heard it and the woman next to me shrugged. I laughed and said "How do they know the temp. is OK? Next time I'm here I'm ordering something to be 162.5 degrees F. We'll see what happens." She just laughed. So this morning, guess what I did? Yep, I went in and ordered a latte and specified it to be 162.5 degrees. The girl looked at me and just cracked up. When she called to the other girl to make it the second one walked over to make sure she heard right. Then she laughed and walked away.

While I was waiting the lady from Wednesday came in. I told her I ordered it for 162.5 and she wouldn't believe me. Then the girls behind the counter backed me up when they heard us talking. They said they knew I was joking about it. They said some people are so adamant about temperature that they have accurate thermometers in the milk to make sure what temp. it is. So I asked how they knew I wasn't serious and they told me I have a silly face and they knew better. Huh?

Now I'm silly face YB. Thats pretty funny to me.

Last night I got another call at home about troubles at work. I made the mistake of helping too many people out and now I get calls for help from departments that I don't even work in. Last night I just told them who to contact to get the fix-up job they need. I wasn't driving all the way back again. So this morning I see the problem was handled just fine by the person I told them to call. I'm thinking I need to change my number now. I don't like calls like that. Mostly because I feel responsible even if it's not my problem. *sigh*

Today will be an early leaving day. I have a hairdo this afternoon. Those who know me already know that its about a 10 minute job to trim my bean. Then I'm free for most of the evening. I love evenings alone. Tonight Nicci is going to take prom pics of her son and his girl. I get to skip that stuff. Coolness. I am lucky with that kind of thing. So I have that to look forward to.

Right now its time for coffee with the Jersey Girl. The day is going just fine so far. :)

People Are Weird

I swear I think people are really weird sometimes. I saw someone along the road putting flowers on a tree. One of those places where someone else must have died in a car accident. Then they were taking pictures of it. They went to a lot of trouble to do it too.

I just can't understand that whole idea. WTF do people put memorials along the road where someone dies? Whats the point? Isn't that a place where you don't want to be? I've never seen anyone go to the hospital where a person dies and put flowers on the headborad of the bed they were in. Our neighbor's husband died last year of a heart attack in his truck. I don't see her putting a memorial on the steering wheel every week.

It just makes no sense to me. I'll bet this same person has a ton of flowers on the gravesite too. That makes a little more sense to me (but still seems dumb too). At least in the grave there is a residue of the person.

I don't feel anything for a person who does that 'roadside memorial' thing other than pity. They seem like lost fools to me. Imagine what kind of sad, crybaby they must be to do stuff like that. The dead person is probably better off not having to deal with their cry-baby bologna anyway.

When Worlds Collide

Last night when I was mowing I noticed that the crazy old lady next door kept standing on her porch watching me. (Remember the 93 year old neighbor who walks around outside in her underwear?) She usually wants someone to bother when shes doing that. Well, I have no patience for the nutjob so I never let her get to me. I just ignored her.

Nicci finds it harder to be so dismissive. So when she was out later gardening she noticed the old woman motioning her over. Nicci being much nicer than I am went over and talked with her a while.

I should let everyone know right now that neither Nicci nor I like the woman very much. We have tried. We have taken her shopping. Have taken her for her 'hair-do'. Have taken her list of needs and gotten her groceries for her. I've shoveled her snow many times. But we don't do that stuff anymore. Every time we have helped her she has retaliated by being a mean, nasty thing. She is not a nice person.

That being said, you now know why I don't bother with her at all. To me, if you don't like someone and they treat you badly, you don't bother with them anymore. Nicci is much sweeter than I am. She went over last night and talked with her and found out that her anchient dog was dying and was going to be put to sleep today sometime. Naturally she felt bad and even gave the old bag a hug. Then she came inside and told me about it.

:)

When she mentioned it to me, all concerned and stuff, my first reaction was to say, "Good, its about time. That dog should have died long ago." Then I stopped and saw her reaction.

Oops! Foot in mouth again, I guess. :)

Nicci got upset with me for that. She said I needed more compassion. I don't see why though. I don't like the woman. I like the dog less. It's 18 years old. It is a bigger dog too. One that should have croaked years ago, just like the old woman. Shes 93 and sour as she can be. Neither of them has the courtesy to go away in a timely manner. Maybe the fountain of youth is in her house or something. Who knows? Billy Joel had it right, "Only the good die young".

So I got in trouble because I am consistent. I don't like someone so I don't really care too much what happens with them. Nicci doesn't like them but she manages to be compassionate anyway. We are worlds apart on many things, Nicci and I. But at least you can count on me when I decide something. If I don't like it, I'm done. If I like it (or them) I am a good person to know. I don't know how to be any different.

But I do know this much, after today I don't have to look at that ugly-ass dog anymore. Sounds pretty good to me. :)

Unforseen Consequences

After hearing the country song with the line "she thinks my tractors sexy" (see May 4th post) I didn't think I could be more amazed by the genre. But I was wrong. My Jersey Girl friend told me about a song with the line "I wanna check you all over for ticks". Again, I'm not making this up. I prefer not to hear the song but you know I have to just once.

I'm going to have write a country song and post it here soon just for my friends to critique.

But you know what will happen, right? I'll write something totally assinine and publish it and suddenly I will be the next big thing in country music. That would be an unforseen consequence of my arrogant attitude toward the style. I'd end up writing and singing (badly) stuff that I would invent by thinking of the dorkiest scenarios possible. I'd think of the silliest thing to write about and make millions doing it.

Then I'd do interviews and make fun of myself and everyone who likes the music but people would still buy it anyway. They wouldn't even know that I was making fun of the whole scene. They'd think I was cute and funny.

Yep, the unforseen/unintended consequences of it all could be interesting. But I promise this, I'll never wear a cowboy hat or boots. That would be going way too far for me. :)

Totally Ridiculous

Clemens to make about $4.5 million per month (story link)

I swear, this deal is so ridiculous that I want to puke. 4.5 million per month? Unreal.

Clemens is 44 years old. He is coming back from the N.L., ie: not the high scoring A.L. He has pretended to retire twice now and gone back on his word. I just don't get why they are spending this much money on him.

We do need pitching. Badly. But how reliable will this old guy be? Plus, how many times will a guy screw you over before you learn your lesson?

Personal opinions? Ok, he is not a Yankee. He is still a red sux guy in my mind. He is following his buddy Pettitte all around which makes me feel like he's weird or something. He's a bum.

I wish we'd spend money on future, long term pitching. Is winning the Series this important? I'm not so sure. A one shot deal rarely ever works out right. Somehow they (Cashman and Steinbrenner) can't remember why the Yanks won so much from 1996 to 2003. Invest in the farm you win a lot more.

Clemens is no Yankee. He does not deserve to wear the pinstripes. These days, I think neither Cashman nor Steinbrenner do either.

And....... We're Back!

I got back from the wilds of Kansas late Wednesday night. Everything went OK with the trip. Just one pain-in-the-butt delay on the take off from Atlanta. We were delayed, after already loading on the plane, for 2 hours. There was a big-ass storm across Tennessee & Virginia that we couldn't fly through so they made us sit on the runway for 2 hours until it was safe to fly through. That was a weird feeling. Knowing you are headed through a storm that they waited to become less strong so we could get through. Yeah, fun.

But Kansas wasn't all that different from home. Except that there really isn't a hill to be seen. I've heard all the talk about how flat it is there but to see it is really different. There are no hills to be seen. The horizon is just 'earth meets sky' for as far as you can see. Where I live you can look in any direction and see mountains. It was a little odd.

I never found Dorothy. I think she was busy polishing her red shoes or something while we were there. Figures.

I did meet my first hooker. Really, I did. She was what she called "an escort". She was a very light skinned black woman with pretty blue eyes. Very sexy. We were at a club the last evening and she started talking to me. I thought (at first) "Gee, this hottie must like me for some reason". She was real friendly. It didn't take too long to find out what she was there for. She wanted $300 for an hour of fun. Can you imagine that? $300 bucks an hour? No one is worth $300 bucks an hour. (With the possible exception of Dorothy herself). I asked her why she was at the club and not at the escort service. She said she was working 'out of the office' that night. LOL

It didn't take her long to realize she wasn't getting money from me so she moved on fast. But I couldn't help myself while she was with me to keep asking questions about her chosen career. Basically what I got from her was that she liked sex.... a lot.... and liked the variety of different partners. Cool. I asked about diseases and stuff but she said she always has safe sex. I wanted to know how she could be sure she was safe but she got wise to me and nicely (and professionally) excused herself.

I found it very ironic that the first hooker I ever met (aside from the legal ones in Europe) was in Kansas. When Lisa and I went to New York the last time we kept looking for one. We just wanted to see a real live prostitute. Never did see one. Every big city I go to I always have that in mind. I just want to see what they look like. So there I am in Kansas, hayseed central, and I never even considered that I'd meet an 'escort'. But whatta ya know? Ironic I guess.

I also noticed that country music is unavoidable in Kansas. It's annoying here but there it's downright obnoxious. I even heard a song there that some of the lyrics were "she finds my tractor sexy" or something like that. I laughed and laughed at that one. I keep telling Nicci that I can write crappy stuff like that, give it a country twang, and get rich. If that is a popular song, I know for sure I can do it. Just write something you feel is moronic and sell it as country and wah-la! Instant millions.

She finds my tractor sexy. Sheesh!

YoJ, you remember how we talked about writing country music? Told you we should have done it.

Ok, what else? Oh yeah, the teeth. Now before I go further I want you to know that I am in no way making this up. OK... the waitresses in most of the places in the little town we visited (not the city) were so nice. The problem with that was that they smiled a lot. Usually thats a good thing. But not one of them had teeth that should have been shown to the public. One girl, sweetest of them all, smiled at me and I about ran. Her teeth were all brown and the front ones were just nubs. I couldn't stop looking. Then the bigger girl, also very nice, smiled at us and she pretty much had no teeth. There were a couple of gray stragglers still hanging on but mostly they were all gone. This was the general rule in that town. Not the exception.

The guy who was hosting our visit told us that when he came to town the first time he went everywhere looking for a toothbrush and toothpaste. When he finally stopped at the local drug store he asked the woman at the front where he could find them. He said she just looked at him and said "You're not from around here, are ya?" He told her he was from Chicago. Then she said "Yeah, I could tell you was from somewhere else. We ain't got none here." He had to drive into the city to find a toothbrush and toothpaste.

It's a different world altogether in some places, eh?

All in all it was a good trip. The people in Kansas were all very friendly. Most of them anyway. The scenery sucked but I'm used to something way different. To someone else, maybe its OK. The business end was good. So I think we did ok in the end. I am glad to be home though. Most trips that happens with me. I haven't found any place, other than the beach, that makes me want to stay there forever. I guess there really is no place like home. :)

Auntie, Can Dorothy Come And Play?

Today I am in one of those OK moods. It's beautiful here, sunny and about 75. I just installed a fountain in Nicci's garden for her. It's neat. But I'm still a little blah. Mostly because I am travelling to Kansas starting tomorrow. It's work stuff so don't start scratching your head wondering "Why Kansas?" I'd prefer to miss this trip but since it is my project I guess I have no choice.

I love travelling on the company money. Usually. But the people going with and the stupid way the trip was planned have made it hard to get excited. Not to mention the fact that I'm not really sure what there will be to see in Kansas. I've never considered visiting there so I'm at a loss.

Any blog friends want to come and keep me company? Maybe I can find Dorothy and she can hook me up with some slippers for Nicci. I'll give that a shot. (By now she might be all grown up and a hottie. Fingers are crossed.)

So in an hour we are headed to lunch with the old people. One Aunt turned 78 this week so we get to hang out at the old people feedery with them to celebrate. The mom will be there too. Another blah idea.

All this blah won't get me down though. Don't get me wrong. I plan on exiting the moms presence asap and enjoying the sun as much as possible today. Then I plan on finding whatever fun (trouble) I can while I'm in the midwest. It's the anticipation of it all that bites.

So once again this week you won't be hearing from me. Not until maybe Thursday. If I get the chance I'll post something from Kansas but I doubt I can. Everyone have a great week. :)

Some Folks

We had kids day at work yesterday. It was like having a day off. There were about 120 kids running around work all day.

Kids day here is like nothing I've ever seen before. In the old days "Bring Your Kid To Work Day" was just that. People would bring a kid and they would just hang with the parent all day. Usually looking bored to death. Here it's way different.

They have the whole group of kids broken into age groups. Each group has several volunteers who lead them around on a pre-arranged schedule to the different departments. In those departments there are fun activities for the kids to do and the sneaky thing is that they learn stuff too. For example, in our Media dept. the kids saw how we make and bottle media products by doing some minor processing themselves. But what they used for product were the ingredients to home made root beer. They all made their own 500ml bottle of root beer. It was neat.

The band played outside for them during lunch and then the kids got to do karaoke. That was hilarious! One kid started out telling jokes before singing. His own stand-up routine. ha ha Basically it was a good day for everyone.

Even I learned something from it all. What I learned was that goofy looking people always have goofy looking kids. Have you ever noticed that? Pretty people can have pretty or ugly kids. Ugly people can have ugly or pretty kids. You never can tell. But goofy looking people have goofy looking kids. Plus, usually when they look goofy they act goofy.

Goofy people shouldn't breed. Thats what I learned.

Betcha all thought this post was going to be all rosey and out of character for me, eh? Please.

Anyway, it was a good day, I learned that some folks shouldn't breed, got to set up a date with my guitar student and got further behind with the real work. Gotta love that, right?

We've Had Worse Starts To The Year

Haven't we? If the Yanks have had worse starts I don't remember. It hasn't been recent so my memory is clouded. I know for a fact that I can't remember the last time the boys were in last place in the division.

At least we are only tied for last. We have that claim right now. At least until the next game. LOL

The list of walking wounded is long but the truth is that we still should be winning more. The errors have to stop. The pitching is sooo bad (other than Andy, which I find ironic). If the hitters slump a little we are screwed. Thats where we are right now.

I know it's all a temporary thing. I know we'll be Ok in the long run. But right now it's frustrating as hell. I'm almost afraid to watch. Almost. :)

The sux are coming into town tonight so this will be the time to get it going. Take 3 from them and we are right back in there. Lets hope the Yanks show up for the weekend.

Just Stopping By....

Not much time to chat today. I just got back (late last night) from a trip that took me to Philadelphia, Trenton NJ (LOL ???) and finally New York City. Got a lot of catching up to do at work.

I have pics but they are on the cell phone and mostly suck. I may post a few though. Eventually. The ones from the top of the Empire State building will look bad. Times Square in the middle of the night might look better. Gotta wait and see first.

Hope everyone has been great since I've been gone. :)

The Weekend's Here And........

....we'll have a can of beer! Anyone else remember that song? You'd have to be from my area to know what that is I guess.

Anyway, the weekend was really cool! The weather was awesome so I decided to break in the new grill and invited some friends over on Saturday night. I got one of those cute little stainless steel, mushroom looking grills for the deck. The one I had was too big and took up a lot of space. So I gave it away and got the little one.

Typical of me, I decided to invite people over Friday evening for Saturday. Ha ha. I even called one person at 3:00 Saturday to see if he wanted to come over. Arrival time around 5:00. lol Anyway, everyone came and we had a blast.

Also typical of us (Nicci especially) the menu grew to giant proportions. I had planned on a simple 'burgers and dogs' night. Nicci decided a salad would be good. Then some bar-b-qued chicken was added. (That was awesome! Mesquite and honey.) Then some rice was added. You know, to go with the chicken. Then cous-cous (for whatever reason). Salsa, dips and 3 different kinds of chips snuck in there somewhere. Naturally we had to have dessert. Ice cream is a must. Homemmade apple pie and strawberry pie.

For drinks, we had the usual sodas and all that. One of our friends makes his own wine so he brought 3 different kinds with him. Contrary to the title here, I don't remember any beer. Huh. Doesn't matter. There was so much stuff no one even cared.

The grill was interesting to use. If you've ever tried to cook on a new grill you know it can be interesting to figure out the settings for cooking. I tinkered with it all through the process and I'm happy to say..... I never got it right. I had flames flying, smoke everywhere, and just general mayhem during all the cooking. But the end result was that everything turned out great. I'm just not real sure how. :)

The wine was really good too. My friend made some strawberry chardonney (pardon if I misspell), some peach wine hot rodded with a higher alcohol content and some other kind that I forget what it was. But they were all good. Nicci made some excellent margaritas too. They are always in demand with my friends.

It was a good time.

So after a long day/night of visitors and partying, Sunday was pretty quiet. We had a friend stop by and have tea with Nicci. One of my friends stopped by (thanks to Nicci trying to play matchmaker the night before) at the same time. They are both single now and they seemed to hit it off. We'll see how that goes, if it does.

So my weekend was filled with good food, good friends and visitors to my house. That visitors thing is unusual so it was a nice change. We are winter hibernators I guess. But the thing is, when we start getting company, you know winter is over. That is a good thing. :)

Oh My!

I am on a high this morning. I usually am kinda goofy in the a.m. anyway but today is especially goofy. Several reasons come to mind, the biggest is the Yankees. Being located where I am I had been hearing so much bologna about the Yanks. These days not so much. LOL





Y'know? :)(Go ahead, click the link. It'll be Ok)

But another reason is that Spacebrain is visiting today. Business stuff but still, it will be good to see my old bud. He's bringing some visitors too. The hottie boss, the cool funny QC guy too. Those are people I like. He's also bringing the big dork that no one can stand where he works but that should be OK too. Since I don't work there anymore I don't have to worry about what I say to him.

Now don't get any ideas. I'll be nice. ;)

I wonder if that old 'foot-in-mouth disease will pop up again today? Hmmm... I'll let you know.

So I will be leaving early today too. Gotta love that! Gotta love a day that looks to be so cool. Hopefully it lives up to the hype (I have in my head).

Speechless

I really don't know what to say today.

Search for answers begins after Va. rampage (Link here)

I've been to that campus many times. I visit the area, the town in the Summer. I'm stunned.... again.

Fox Sports Thinks We're Dumb

On Saturday I decided to see what Baseball was on TV. After spending most of the day outside working in the yard (which was a blast, btw) I settled down to see what was up. My luck wasn't good. The only game on in my area in the late afternoon was on Fox. Worse yet, it was a Sux game. But it keeps getting worse all the time. Curtass was pitching too. Talk about a major letdown.

But I am a Baseball fanatic so I decided to suck it up and watch for a while. I was hoping the Sux would get whipped and Curtass would suck. No such luck. They were winning and the pitching was reasonable.

After about 3 innings I had had enough. I could have watched more but the suck-up announcers were really pissing me off. They talk about Curtass like he's some kind of god or something. He's a dork. I wonder if I cut my ankle and then played ball would I get someone's first born named for me? lol

The end came when Manny made a play in the outfield and I had to quit watching. The announcers went on and on about how he's such an improved outfielder and how he has practiced... yada yada yada. They think we are stupid. Manny can hit very well but any Baseball person knows he is still a liability in the field. He looks like he knows how to play because he's in left field in Fenway. He has the Green Monster behind him to back him up. The balls he used to miss or simply misplay now bounce off the wall. It's like having 2 outfielders in the same field.

He is basically playing major league baseball in a large softball field. No magic there. No improvement. He has a big, green helper. Thats all. And Fox wants us to buy it. But any baseball person who knows the game will tell you the truth about it. Just watch and see how much the guy DHs on the road. That'll tell you the truth.

One would think I'd learned my lesson and stopped watching Fox. The Yankee haters/ Sux lovers of baseball. Well, Yankee haters and almost anyone else besides the Yankees lovers anyway. But I can't help myself when it comes to Baseball. So when there is no other game I'll probably still watch. Next time I'll have the sound off and play with the PC. That's my only solution.

Whew, I've had that rant brewing since Saturday. I feel better now. :)

People Are Strange

People can be strange.

I have a friend that comes to visit (my office) every morning, has coffee, then makes up an excuse to leave as soon as the coffee is done. Every day I wonder why she bothers to think up excuses. I get it that she's here for coffee, some small talk and then hits the road. I don't even care. But every day it's the same thing. A lot of the time her excuse doesn't work out. This morning she had a meeting to get to. I walked by her office 10 minutes after the meeting started and she was sitting there. Ha ha. :) I find that strange.

A little later I was in front of the area I am responsible for when someone came up to me and asked if there was a new way to enter the rooms. (I just had some minor construction done to alter traffic flow.) I looked at her, looked at the doors that I had clearly marked with traffic flows, and smiled. Outwardly calm, I explained the new way to enter (which is just to open the door and walk in like the sign says) but inside I was laughing. It was simple and well marked. Then she says, "OK, I thought so. I did that yesterday." ??? I just shook my head as she walked away.

This morning has started out with some head scratching already. It looks to be a banner day.

My New Girlfriend

Yes, I have a new love in my life. Once again I have fallen for the charms of another. Her name is Mia and she is so adorable. Just look and tell me you could resist her. :)




Of course, it shouldn't be a surprise. I've been crushing on her Mom for years anyway.



So after we got the flirting out of our systems......


(I think we got away with it and Nicci never noticed.)



I got some quality time with my new girl.






As you can see, she has a thing for beards. :)

I love this last pic. Isn't that hat so sweet? I looked for one my size but....




Grace, Steve and Mia came to visit family this past weekend. We were so happy they could take a few hours to meet up with us. I have been wanting to meet them for a long time. It was an especially fun visit for me. They are as cool and genuine as I had expected.

Thanks a lot for visiting Grace, Steve & Mia. You made the weekend for me. :)

I M Betarded

Did you ever sometimes feel like you are a bit retarded? Like you may be mental? Not permanently. Just sometimes. I do a lot. Sometimes for good reason, sometimes not.

Like yesterday, I saw where the VOX Question of the Day comes from. A little thingy on the blog asked me if I wanted to answer the question. Suddenly it hit me that I was a dork. I had been wondering for weeks where people get those questions and right there it was, in my face, the whole time. Duh!

Today I will feel like a tard for good reason. Somehow where I work it has fallen on us project people to fill out the form for ordering big ticket items. It was (and should still be) an Accountants job. So I'm looking over this form and not only is it 12 pages long but some of the verbage is so foreign to me that my head was totally confused. The wording is in Accountantese and you need their translation dictionary just to get off the first page. Mostly I don't even know wtf it's asking me for. Incremental Calculations???Assumptions for the Profitability??? What language is that anyway? I know the words. I just don't know what they are asking for.

So after hours of research I did what any sensible Engineer would do. I call Accounting and set up a meeting/training session so I could get the translation. 10:00 today. At exactly 10:01 I'll be feeling retarded big time, I think. :)

When I told my boss I had set up the training he thanked me and said he was coming along. We'll be tards together.

You see? There are different level of tardness. Sometimes you are just a tard and sometimes you are forced into feeling like a tard. Either way the end result is Ok if you figure out how not to be a perma-tard. I'm gonna work toward that today. ;)

Coffeeless

Did you ever start the day off wrong and it just.... well, didn't matter? Scared ya, didn't I? Yeah, I'm like that.

I have had no coffee this morning yet. (I felt Meritt cringe just now.) Usually I have my coffee before leaving the house but not today.

So on the way to work I was totally spaced out. I don't remember much of the drive. Hardly remember talking about anything. It was totally mellow. It was cool. :)

But the coffee is brewing now. Almost done. Soon I'll be my usual obnoxious self. Funny how something simple like missing coffee can make the morning so different. It makes for some quiet times. Some mellow moods. Some really boring blog posts..... :)

Ahhh, the coffee pot has alarmed. Java is ready. brb.....

OK, No Prob

I made the mistake again. You know the one. The mistake of coming in to work with a plan for the day. You know how that works. No plan is ever allowed to progress like you want it too. By now you'd think I'd know better.

Yesterday I was off for very good reason. The holiday had me very busy. Yes, it was a holiday. Baseball season started. Thats a holiday. Anyway, I was off all day, got to see the Yankees win their opening day game, rested and relaxed. I came in with a clear head today and a plan, all ready to go.

First thing when I got to work I found that my email system wasn't working. Turns out we switched to a new system. OK, no prob. I started to go through the instructions on how to set it up. Then I found that my windows program doesn't even have the means to do the changeover. So no email.

Then the boss calls and asks, "Did you get that email about going to see the new equipment?"

Uhmmm, nope. :)

He goes on to explain that it was a last minute thing and that the group was leaving to see the new machine in 15 minutes. OK, no prob (again). I got ready, slammed down my coffee and joined up with the group and headed out.

On the way down the highway my phone rings. Twice. The first time was cool. It was Lisa missing me. Sweet, isn't she? The next was a guy who needed to come and visit today. He is selling some equipment that we need and today is the best time for him to come by. OK, no prob (again & again). I set up a late afternoon meeting with him.

So we go and check out the big machine. We are all impressed. The sales guy was a Regis Philbin twin and that was very funny to me. Then he buys us lunch at a Chinese place. Regis is all, "This is the best place ever! I always go here when I visit the area!" I expected something spectacular. It was mediocre. Made me wonder what was up with old Regis here. He travels the world over and this little Chinese place in the local strip mall is the "Best place ever!"? Huh?

So I head back and arrive just in time to catch some time with Lisa before sales guy arrives. He is cool and his equipment is neato. We agree to chat further on that project and now he's gone.

So here I am almost done with the day. Nothing happened that I had planned. But you know what? Its OK, no prob. The day was pretty darn good. I never got my email working. But I had fun and got stuff accomplished. I met Regis' twin. Had a free (mediocre) Chinese lunch. Got the new project going. Travelled a bit in the bright sun. Time flew by.

It's been a pretty good day. They all should be so OK.

Yesterday

Yesterday was bliss. I had the best day in a long time. No phones, no meetings, no annoyances of any kind. I stayed home, kept to myself, did whatever I felt like and watched the Yankees win their Opening Day game. What could be better?

OK, being in Yankee Stadium would have been better but you get what I'm saying.

I was pleasantly surprised at the game. Not with the 3 errors (Geez!) but with the fact that Pavano pitched reasonably well and didn't get hurt. I expect his arm to fall off when he pitches or something, as fragile as he's been. But so far so good.

Hey, one game in a row is a record for him in recent history. Gimme a break.

Anyway, The Yanks started out well. The day was awesome. Today is hectic but nothing bad. Hope everyone else has it as well today.

I'm A Bastard

I've come to the conclusion that I am really a bastard child. I know I'm not really but what I mean by that is that although I do know who my parents are, neither of them taught me anything other than what not to do or what not to be. So in essence, I grew up all by myself.

I came to this conclusion recently after having a log conversation with Nicci about my mother. Nicci has done everything possible to be friendly and nice with the woman and recently for no real reason she has started attacking her. My mom is one of those people who stirs up shit constantly. If things are going well, she can't stand it. So now shes inventiing things to be annoyed at Nicci for that don't really exist. The problem there is that Nicci has less patience than I do with stuff like that. In her words, "To hell with her then. I've done what I could do."

The basic conclusion to our recent conversation was that I honestly won't feel anything when she finally kicks off. I've said it before and after going through all the ifs/ands/buts of it I realize that I'd prefer she kicks it soon. I don't want to be bothered later. Plus, if she does go soon then I get 3 paid days off work. Nothing like free days off work to help you appreciate someone. At least she has that going for her. :)

I felt nothing when my dad died. Only happy that they let me out of school for a few days without getting into trouble. My mom will give the same benefit. Not that I'm wishing it on her. Just that I won't care a bit when it happens.

It's kinda been a strange ride growing up and then dealing with the aftermath, getting to where I am. My father had serious problems with drinking. He died in a fire when I was in 10th grade. I didn't really know him anyway since he was not around after I was maybe 8-9 years old. I do remember that when he was sober he was a cool guy. He was a talented artist and a kid at heart. I do remember all that.

My mother, well, shes a freak. Not someone I'd care to ever know. If it weren't for my Aunts and Uncle I'd probably never see her. Shes a strange person who just can't see the world like it is. Shes in some fantasy reality where no one else lives. She just thinks we do.

I really have no idea how I've gotten to where I am today. I guess living on my own since I was 13 and totally ignoring the teachings of the weirdos who bred and created me was a good thing. They are prime examples of why some people should not be allowed to breed. Anyone can make a baby. Few can care for it properly.

My mother is also a prime example of how you can get stuck with some relation that you would never, ever want to know otherwise. Just because you are related doesn't obligate you to hang with someone. Not if they suck.

I'm glad Nicci has seen first hand what I warned her about when it comes to my family. I didn't have to try to convince her. She has been convinced by the mothers stupidity all on her own.

There is some kind of small comfort in feeling like I am a bastard child. It's liberating somehow. Wish I had thought about it like this earlier in life.

Of course, sometimes I could be referred to as a bastard, but at times like that there is a different meaning to the word. :)

Interruptions, Interruptions!

I hate interruptions too. When I am zoned and one with the universe I don't want to be bothered.

I get this, but more importantly..................







................. look at the way her boobs are drawn. Yikes! :)

My New Philosophy

The other day I came to this conclusion.

I want to live my next life backwards;
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
You work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...

You finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.

The Greatest Holiday Of The Year

Next Monday is the greatest holiday of the year. Is everybody ready for it? I am. I'll tell you where I'll be and what I'll be doing that day too. I'll be home, hanging in front of the big screen, watching the Yankees on ESPN HD.

Opening day is next Monday in Yankee Stadium. Its Opening Day elsewhere too but they don't count. I never work on Baseball Opening Day. (Not on my Birthday either but thats a different thing.) This year is sweet because the game is actually on ESPN, not another stunky network. Sometimes I don't get to see the Yanks so I am really happy. Its the next best thing to being there I guess.

But what could be better than being in Yankee Stadium on Opening Day?

Well, being there as they win the Series would be better, but you get my meaning. :)

So I am already psyched for next week. The pitching will be better this year and thats all we lacked last year. It should end up being a kick ass Summer.

The long, long off season is almost over. Life is good again. Anyone else as wired about it as I am? Other than you Karen. I already know the answer to that question. :)

Conference Call Education

I had to sit in on a conference call today. It was for a project that we are working on for a big time, world-wide agency. (I can't say which one but people in this business all know them.) I was impressed at the list and level of people I was 'hanging' with during this call. The big cheeses, Scientists, Government people. It was impressive. At least it would be if you are not me that is. :)

Personally, I think I should be impressed. I think I should feel privileged to be a part of such a huge project. But mostly what I learned at this conference call was that big time scientists sure like to hear themselves talk. (The other thing I learned was that my boss breathes really hard! He is noisy!) Worse yet, the government cheeses really like to talk too. Our people liked to hear themselves talk away at the same time. It was a lot of talk, talk, talk. I sat there wondering when they would get to my part in the process.

All I cared about was what I needed to do to make sure our end was well covered. I didn't understand much of the science stuff anyway. It was Ok to a point but I'm an equipment guy, not a chemist, a scientist nor a blow hard who likes to hear himself say impossibly big words and all that.

My boss kept saying "When are they going to get to our part?" We had the same thoughts. Even though he understands all the science, he really wanted to know what our part was too.

Then the call was over and our part was never discussed. It was in the minutes to be discussed but it never happened. I felt so lost. Like a floating piece of debris in the ocean. Not needed, not cared for. Just lost.

Yeah, right. :)

So now we will be expected to understand the process, react in milli-seconds when it's time to do our part, and get the stuff made instantaneously without flaw when the time comes to make it. All this without any direction or planning. Impossible?

Piece of cake. :P

Anyway, what have we learned from all this my friends? Nothing much I guess. Mostly that I don't care for conference calls, big time scientists, govt. officials nor heavy breathers. But we all knew that already without having me waste 1.5 hours of my life in a lame conference call. I could have been doing something much more productive like underwater basket weaving or polishing my dog or..................... blogging?

Another Silly Smile

I can't help it:

A guy goes into his new psychiatrists office for his first visit. He is wearing only underwear made from saran wrap. The psychiatrist looks up and says, "Well, I can see your nuts."

Ha ha.

Is anyone else leaving for a sushi buffet lunch right now like I am? Yeah, sorry for you. :P I'll let you know how great it was later.

French Men Don't Get Caught

French Men Don't Get Caught (link to story)

Does having a fling screw up a relationship or could it help it? I read this story on MSN and found it interesting. All the things you hear about people having flings and how the Europeans have such a different perspective on sex is addressed here. It made me curious to see what we all thought about the subject.

My personal views on the subject have always been quite open. I have known friends who had sexual flings and it made them want their partner more than ever. I have also seen the opposite. A relationship can be totally ruined by a moment of weakness and lust. I also know people who have open relationships where they just agree to have fun but never let it come between them. For me, whatever works for the individual is OK.

When I was single I almost exclusively 'dated' married women so I have first hand knowledge that it isn't just men doing it. The idea of 'cheating' never occurred to me then. They were cheating. I wasn't. But I have trouble breaking promises. If I make a promise to someone then I'll keep it. Not that I haven't broken promises. I have broken a few (even very recently) but it isn't something I believe a person should ever do. If you can and have a clear conscience, then I'm not sure what to think about you.

There's the rub, eh? Can it be done with a clear conscience? If so, what leads to that frame of mind? Is it a sociopathic thing? Maybe.

I have posted a couple of new polls to see what people who stop by have to say about it. As Summer would say, vote early, vote often. :)