This morning I met up with all these idiots on the road:
The giant tanker truck driving very slow in the passing lane - What is their problem? No common courtesy whatsoever. He gets into the fast lane and slows down below the speed limit. Then he swerves suddenly into the right lane where cars are trying to pass his slow ass, and jumps onto an exit with barely enough room to make it.
The 'slam on the brakes when using the onramp' dork - Infuriating! The onramp is supposed to be the mechanism used for accelerating and blending into oncoming traffic. This dumbass gets near the merge area and nearly stops! I was waiting for the drivers behind me to start the chain reation of crashing into each other, beginning with me.
The redneck who's time is much more valuable than yours - This guy in his jacked up 3/4 ton pickup squeezes into areas where no person with any brains or respect for others would try. He comes from out of no where from the right lane and jumps in between me and the car in front of me with literally about 3" to spare between my bumper and his. I thought for sure he was going to hit me. Then he keeps doing the same move to others along the way. Didn't get him too far. I passed him when the highway opened up.
As I was watching these so called drivers, I started thinking how cool it would be to have one of those James Bond Austin Healey spy cars. When the idiots would get to me, I'd calmly flip open the super secret hidden cap on top of the gear shift, arm the onboard missiles and blast all the dopes in my way, putting their poor vehicles out of their misery, never to be driven by losers again. Then I would give them the suave half smile of super spy Yankee Bond as I drove past them and the wreckage of their abused, destroyed vehicles, laughing inside at their tear stained faces. Boy, that would be sweet!
Dream on, I guess. Later today I'll be seeing another set of morons who obviously didn't learn to drive in the same civilization that I did. Sigh.
5 comments:
On Election day, there was a lady stopped at the bottom of the ramp, and when my friend got in the moto. accident, somebody was stopping at the end of the ramp. I don't know why they chose to ignore their driving instructor and the signs that say MERGE. I think a lot of people missed that vocabulary lesson.
Yankee Bond or Bitchass Bob, I don't know which name I like better!
I totally felt your pain driving to NC. I'm no speed demon, but it amazed me how many people (trucks included) go WAY under the speed limit in the passing lane. And oddly enough, as I was traversing Maryland, the amount people slamming on the breaks was crazy too -- I thought of your Highway Man tales when this happened.
Yeah KB, Marylanders like the brakes. Funny how you can tell which state you are in by the driving styles.
I was going to do a Highwayman this morning, but he's too mild mannered a guy for the experiences today. Today is Bond day.
Oh no... My bitching about traffic has now spread to you. I'm sorry. I've started something! LOL.
PS:
I just told dh yesterday while traversing around looking for furniture stores that we will NEVER buy a used car in this area. Their brakes will all be SHOT!
Hey Yankee Bond, you want it shaken or stirred?
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