Nicci and I went back to my hometown this morning to visit My Aunt & Uncle. Before we went to their house, we stopped at one of our favorite places to have lunch. Pretty good food, decent prices. It’s a typical small town place that pretty much caters to an older crowd, especially evident when church let’s out. Nothing but blue hair as far as the eye can see.
We were there right before the after church rush and had ordered when I glanced around the room. Nothing I don’t usually do. I think everyone does. It was pretty empty at that point, so it wasn’t hard to see the couple 3 tables away. There was a man and a woman sitting there, just getting their orders. She was kind of, how should I say this, rather large. He was the opposite. Very thin. I started thinking how you see this type of pairing a lot in a small town, at least in this one.
As I was thinking about this, I glanced back and the woman happened to glance at me at the same time. When she did, her mouth was stuffed full of spaghetti and it was hanging out all the way to her plate. There was sauce surrounding her mouth, like a little kid and as she looked my way, she began chewing and dropping big strands of the spaghetti back onto her plate. It looked kind of gross.
Worse yet, when the spaghetti was short enough to all get into her mouth, the amazing amount of sauce on her face became even more evident. I’ve seen 2 year olds that were neater eaters. Before she was done chewing the first load, she scooped up another giant one and shoved it into her mouth. I couldn’t believe she could fit it in before swallowing, but what do I know?
I started thinking about the sounds she might be making as she chowed down. (More intrusive thoughts.) I imagined it sounding like a big pig snorting and grunting. I imagined her just slamming her face into the plate and going for it, damn the silverware, full speed ahead!
At this point our order came. (Whew!) My imagination stopped running away and we finished our lunch.
As the couple walked by us on their way out, I noticed some spaghetti sauce on one of her chins. I decided then and there that I wouldn’t ever order spaghetti in a crowded restaurant ever again. I think maybe it wasn’t her best idea either.
4 comments:
HA!!HA!!
That's so gross. The intrusive thought part was hilarious and the part about the sauce still being on her chin. I think it's an art to be able to eat spaghetti in public. I haven't mastered it.
Damn, I am still laughing I also was felling like ropemonkey. I'm glad it wasn't a work day and I had gone to lunch with you I know I would have lost it.
OH GOOD GOD! Yuck! That was waaaaay too descriptive for me! I will never order spaghetti again, either. In fact, I don't know if I will ever be able to even eat it again!
ONE of her chins... LOLLLLLLLL! (And I KNOW I can't do pasta in public, so I force myself to put a napkin around my neck (like a kid in a bib) OR I just wear black beause I ain' givin' up no spaghetti! hehe)
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